L'origine de Bert

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Saturday, November 01, 2003

Today, I was once again favoured by a visit from He Who Must Not Be Named, who thumbed eagerly through my gamebook collection and chomped merrily on you tiao, while still relying on my largesse to pay for some of his discretionary spending.


More weird shit from Melvin

Really lame Chinese Flash thing

The Economics of Suicide - Why trying to kill yourself may be a smart business decision.

Girls pummel man who exposed himself - A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said Friday.

Of blogging and unemployment - M$ employee loses his job because a photo he took of Mac G5s being used at M$ was deemed a "security breach" (Hmm. Sounds familiar)


Tried WMA for my MP3 player so I could fit more songs in. 64kbps WMA sounds rather muffled compared to 128kbps MP3. Maybe I'll get better results with 96kbps.


For better or for worse, my hits have been levelling off.

Unique hits this year:

Jan 3688
Feb 3265
Mar 3722
Apr 4104
May 1826
Jun 3560
Jul 5472
Aug 1002
Sep 3025
Oct 876
Nov 4


Some mystery fan sent me this:

-- bollywood fan -- has sent you a movie from
www.fanta.dk.

To see your movie, click on the following internet address:
http://www.fanta.dk/showmovie.asp?mid=ECD1D37B-237F-4E67-A4F6-7D69ADA07FF6

Hmm. :)

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Fanta Shokata

My sore eyes are cured, so it's back to camp.

Fanta Shokata

This site seems to let you sub Bollywood clips. Why it's called "Fanta Shokata" I don't know, for there seems to be absolutely no relationship with Fanta. Besides which, it's on a .dk domain, so it's probably some prank site.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Carjacker on tricycle shoots self in foot - A gunman who allegedly tried to hijack a car was apparently no better at driving it than he was at maneuvering his original vehicle: a tricycle.

Six schoolboys hospitalised after taking Viagra - One of the pupils, all aged between 12 and 13, is believed to have brought the Viagra tablets into an all-boys school in Winnersh, west of London, and handed them around to five of his friends.


Blitz! (Warning. Turn back now if you value your sanity)

Andros and Zhane
You're Andros and Zhane - a pairing that is so
romanticised and angst-filled it's beautiful.
Being separated for so long allows one member
of the pair to change, while they other misses
two years.


What is your Power Rangers (slash) pairing?
brought to you by Quizilla

gold ranger
You are an Unclassified Ranger! You tend to be a
loner and a hero, saving the day and then
fading into the background again. You stay
away from the crowds, but you are extremely
loyal to your friends and loved ones. Former
Unclassifieds include Jason (Gold), Zhane
(Silver), Mike (Magna Defender), Ryan
(Titanium), Eric (Quantum), and Merrick (Lunar
Wolf).


What is your Power Ranger color? (incomplete version)
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ORIGINAL RED RANGER. U GOT 2 HOEZ ON EACH ARM!!
ORIGINAL RED RANGER


WHO IS THE RED RANGER U R BEING?!
brought to you by Quizilla

[NB: The above quiz is disturbing. Sample question with selectable answers: You just jumped out of an airplane straight into Lord Zed's lair. He is having the sexual relations with Rita. WHAT DO U DO?!

1) GET IN ON THAT HOT ZED ACTION!!!
2) You tell Zed to beat it! "HANG BACK ROOKIE, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!"
3) Totally wuss out and colour your hair more.
4) HOLY CRAP U JUMP OUT AND DO XTREME LANDING ON ZED'Z FACE!]


You are the Blue Ranger


Which Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger Are You?!?!
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billy
billy


Which Original Power Ranger Are You?
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YOu be goaten the lion-goat
goaten the lion-goat


Which Power Ranger Monster are you?
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You're Kimberly Ann Hart, the petite gymnast.
You're cute, fun, cute, and you have a SIZZLIN
HOT boyfriend.


Which Power Ranger princess are you?
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Zhane
You are Zhane, the silver Space Ranger! The Silver
Ranger was said to be the most powerful ranger
in the universe. After the attack on your home
planet, KO-35, you were critically injured.
Your best friend, Andros, put you in a
cryongenic sleep and you recovered. The word
that best describes you is girl-crazy. You
wanted Ashley and heck, even Astronema! After
you fought bravely in Dark Spectre's final
assault of the universe, you retired alongside
your fellow Space Rangers.


Which Space Ranger are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Adam
Desert Thunder, Turbo Power! You are Adam! Deep
and complicated, you are a mentor to your
friends. You often meditate things through
before you act, which is a good thing. Your
experience in life will help others, including
yourself. You passed your Turbo Powers on to
Carlos.


Which Turbo Ranger are you?
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Ashley
You're Ashley, the Yellow Space Ranger. Despite
being the slut that you are, you finally settle
on Andros. Too bad he has a stick up his ass
most of the time.


Which Space Ranger are you?
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This is where a pic of Kimberly would go, but you can't see it. Loser.
Kimberly - The Pink Ranger The weakling of the
group. I always found you were more of a
liability, what with the "Save me, save me
Tommy's" and the "Oh my gosh...
that's like, so ugly... I might break a
nail!" However, you were the young maiden
in the high tower, and created excitement for
all the young boys, who had to see Tommy get a
girl.


Which second cast Power Ranger are you?
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You are Kimberly! You're typecast as the cheerful, bubbly valley-girl, but inside, there is a real fighter whose courage, grace and charm make for a winning combination. You have the dist
You are Kimberly! You're typecast as the bubbly,
cheerful valley-girl, but inside, there is a
real fighter whose courage, grace and charm
make for a winning combination. You have the
distinction of being played by a good actress,
unlike some of your cohorts.


Which Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I knew these existed! Too bad few have pictures, and most of them are very sloppily done (as are most quizzes). Perhaps the best of the lot is Which Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger Are You?. Finally, since they seem to give contradictory results, we can conclude that these quizzes are just a crappy way for bored people to waste time (surprise surprise).

Incidentally, I like the following results:

You are Kat. You replaced Kimberly, attached yourself leechlike to Tommy, and are the reason the author of this quiz stopped watching the show. Shoot yourself now, or else I will.
You are Kat. You replaced Kimberly, attached
yourself leechlike to Tommy, and are the reason
the author of this quiz stopped watching the
show. Shoot yourself now, or else I will.


Which Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are the yellow ranger.
I have this theory that the only reason the asian
ranger got yellow as her color, was because of
racial reasons. Damn racists!


Which Power Ranger are you?
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HIPPIE STONER POWERRANGER~
when all the ther little children were making
friendship bracelets with the little henna
string u were smoking it!...u like tie dye and
the 70's....remeber when u had to save the
kitty out of the tree?..yea you started barking
at it and being a dog cuz u were to high to
know whut wuz goin on..ur magic power is tiedye
zap


Which screwed up POWER RANGER are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, October 27, 2003

Of all the confounded things out there, we now have a Quiz: Wad girl's school should you be from?

So far I've manipulated the results to get:

Raffles Girl's school
Smartest of the lot with unprecedented arrogance.
And pUhlEeese... start Cheering like girls and
be RGS girls not RI GUYS!


Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by Quizilla

nanyang
Nanyang Girl's school
Good girls who always listen to teachers. you don't
break rules, you dont disobey orders but OH
GOD! ENOUGH CHINESE!


Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by Quizilla

CHIJ
CHIJ
You scream for your school at any opportunity and
for some strange reason you love your school to
no end. You wear your belt so low that ACS
boys' pants would be considered high (yeah.
oh.. my..god)


Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by Quizilla

CHIJ
SCGS
You're a very hard nut to crack.. stubborn and
sometimes a little bitchy.. you at one time or
another, wear your school tee over your
pinafore.
Situated between ACS barker and SJI... you'd still
pick SJI guys...


Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was looking for one "you are a guy" option. Oh well. If anyone manages to get other results, please post them in the comments box below. Danke.


7 months, 2 weeks and 2 days to ORD!
We have spent the last 2 weeks preparing for the upcoming IQA inspection (now postponed till next month - yeh!). Being intimately involved in the preparation, I have had opportunity to meditate on the ridiculousness of all this ISO and Quality business, sprung from the body of New Age Management Rubbish (ala Dilbert).

IQA assumes that we live in a perfect world, and expects us to deliver perfection, or at least the appearance of it. Draw your own conclusions about what happens.

Among other things, we have to fill up paperwork that absolutely no one looks at except the inspection team (which brings to mind the question of why it's needed in the first place, as it doesn't help us provide Quality Service to the patients). Wasting time on the paperwork, we have less time and energy to spend on doing -real- work, so our level of productivity actually goes down. Also, we are not supposed to leave anything inside the temporary slots of medical dockets - what then are the slots for, I ask (except for lazy - mostly Tekong - medics to stuff visit summaries instead of filing them properly)? I find that the slots are good for putting fragile things - like x-ray reports, printed on thin paper. So now I've to file the reports in, and they'll probably tear in a few years. Furthermore, we're not supposed to stock more than one month's supply of drugs at anytime. The problem is that stock takes forever to come, so the alternative is to run out of drugs (and get screwed by the MOs).

All these requirements were probably thought up by people in High Places who envisioned them as leading to a improved quality of health care, but the sad reality is that on the ground, most of it doesn't work and in fact backfires, not only resulting in time, effort and resources wasted on paperwork and skulduggery, but an ultimately lower standard of work. The most laughable - and ultimately indefensible - part of the ISO requirements, though, is the Quality Manual (and related gobbledy-gook). Now, these grimoires on the Philosophy of Customer Service, Quality Policy and related Dark Arts (which staff are supposed to memorise?!) are so thick, jargon ridden, repetitive, unused and in a word: useless that how anyone in a proper frame of mind can think they improve standards is totally beyond me. The only reason why all this rubbish exists in the first place is to provide employment for the ISO people, pure and simple. Since they are the ones setting the criteria for ISO certification, they take the opportunity to stun clueless top-level management with their Arcane Manuals and Incomprehensible ISO-Speak, who then believe that these are Good Things (TM), when they are mere ploys to increase the bulk and complexity of the bureaucracy needed to adminster ISO certification, which benefits - surprise - ISO by allowing it to grow, hire more employees and generally better sucker companies of their money.

Of course, the SAF wanting to be a World Class Organisation (and to hell with the real situation) is not the only reason why all these measures are foisted on us. Us being unwilling slaves, there is no incentive for us to work well, so this is a way of making sure we do our work. Unfortunately, the law of Unintended Consequences applies again, as always.

Why we work so hard, I do not know. Maybe it is out of a misguided sense of responsibility.

The madness of inspections does not only affect us. We asked a unit for a vehicle to send someone to A&E, but they refused at first, because of their own upcoming inspection. Well done. So since the medical centre is preparing for an inspection, we should refuse to see all patients or give out any medicine and ask them everyone report sick outside (actually that way both the patients and us are happy - the former get bountiful MCs and we get less work while earning the same amount of money).


I am rather pleased with the SAF's handling of the POW training incident. There is greater transparency now, and less covering up. Perhaps this is due to a change in mindset. Or perhaps they realised that IRC chat rooms can spread the news faster than Pioneer Magazine can! As a fellow malcontent remarked: "The country is moving towards the right direction. The higher command can no longer be complacent. Not the increasingly critical tone of the st."

As I probably have mentioned before, the doing things by going up the Chain Of Command is useless. Your superiors don't care, and they are all friends, so complaining about one to his superior may not do much good, and may bring retribution. If your CO does not care about your problem, you supposedly can call an "Armed Forces Council", but few know that they exist and nobody (except the Chief Clerks) knows how to summoned one, and even if they do, is there any guarantee that one will be convened? Is it any wonder then that people like to write letters to their MPs, pull strings or otherwise circumvent military channels? There's always the SAF Hotline, but I venture that that's more to stop servicemen defenestrating themselves, thus resulting in a gargantuan PR disaster. For real complaints, the average serviceman has little recourse. For example, in the recent POW training incident, there isn't supposed to be physical contact, but they'd been drowning the trainees for god knows how long. Nobody bothered to report about this breach of training safety because they feared reprisals or being ignored. Hell, the people they were supposed to voice their concerns to were condoning or actively encouraging the drowning, and going beyond them was either unfeasible or unlikely to bring results (probably due to collusion?). The very chain of command that is supposed to solve servicemen's problems creates them by perverting training (among other things). There really should be an anonymous hotline to report abuse or other cock ups in the system.

Jason tricked me one day. He needed 10 oxygen tanks changed at the Army Logistics Base, and claimed that since Ban Xiong wasn't around, he had to remain behind, being the only specialist. I was suspicious of his motives, but not having been to ALB, I had no idea of the horrors in store for me. So me and Yao Shun merrily went to ALB. The vehicle we used was also sending patients to A&E, so it could not pass the ALB gate. Consequently, me and Yao Shun had to trudge all the way to level 3 of the warehouse with our heavy loads. By the time I got there, my shirt was thoroughly soaked. When we finished, we had to wait some time for the vehicle and so decided to eat at their canteen, since we wouldn't be able to return to the cookhouse in time. Their canteen turned out to be horrible. I had Chinese Fried Rice, normally a safe dish, but somehow, it was the only place in the world to cook Chinese-style Fried Rice with Chilli in it.

One day, Melvin and I were tasked to cover NSmen's IPPT... in Tanjong Gul camp. This camp was rundown, hard to find, and perhaps even further from civilisation (factories in Tuas don't count) than ours. Further, the mess we had breakfast at was both expensive and lousy. The people conducting the IPPT were very on-the-ball - they even asked the NSmen to count timing for their warmups louder (of course, the NS men ignored them). I sure hope I don't go to this sort of NS unit. The sole beacon of light in our visit was the E-mart. There, they had packets upon packets of white and black socks (out of stock in our E-mart for *months* - now we know what happened to the stock) and even several field packs! The food and toiletry selection was relatively extensive too.

The ATC cookhouse is learning from the old SMM's - I saw "Fish Fillet ala Meuniere" (fish with a lemon sauce) and "Vicky (Vichy?) Carrot" (which turned out to be diced carrots) one day. Oh no!

I am used to seeing instant noodle particles in the toilet sinks and water coolers, but what I saw one day dwarved my previous sightings - what must have been at least 1/15 of a packet of instant noodles was clogging up the sink of the water cooler. After a day, no one had bothered to remove it, so I nobly scooped most of it up with a piece of newspaper, knowing that if my CSM had found out, she'd have banned everyone from eating instant noodles.

I think if we go to war, some regulars will be the first to die as their men will shoot them.

The stray dogs in camp are becoming an ever-bigger nuisance these days. They fight more often and more noisily, especially in the wee hours of the morning, they bark incessantly after the sun has set and generally get in people's way. Now, I like dogs but the ones in camp are less predictable since they're not tamed. Besides which, they are huge, mangy and more dirty (especially the "Disgusting Dog" who has a serious case of piles and hangs out at the ATC Cookhouse during meal times, grossing diners out). One experience, especially, shook me. One morning before 5BX I was in the toilet. When I finished, I noticed one of the dogs had parked itself outside the door. Plaintive pleas did not work, so I jumped across the threshold and landed behind it. I was proceeding to the area where 5BX was to be conducted and then I noticed that the dog was following me. Even when I crossed a road, it followed, finally ending its "pursuit" at the chinup bars - probably another dog's territory. Now, I know he was just trying to be friendly, but when you're groggy at 5:20am, dressed in PT kit and there's a big dog you don't know following you, it is natural to be apprehensive.

For some reason, Lion Company pronounces their company's motto (when falling out) as "Firm and Fear'y". Maybe they're scared of something.

I was investigating the MINDEF Forums, which I had heard so much about. It seems a very censored place which is a cruel perversion of what a forum should be. Users are banned for the most trivial reasons: complaining (even in mild ways) about the SAF and the Government (as you might expect, the bulk of bans are because of this), posting of incoherent and nonsensical posts (that just shows he is a fool. Why ban him?), spending too much time on the forums during working hours (can you believe one person got banned for that?!), selling handphones ("moonlighting") and speculating who will win the next World Cup (somehow, this constitutes "betting" - preposterous). To their credit, though, the administrators do not (or at least, not that we know) reveal the identities of flouters of the forum's draconian rules to the Powers That Be, and allow appeals.

SAF is ending the use of manual leave forms. I guess they finally realised people were taking Magic Leave (TM).

I was discussing accents with 2 others, and they said I had a neutral, non-Singaporean accent which was identifiable - contrary to Jie's claims that I had the accent of a chinese-educated Singaporean (at times).


One issue of the crappy New Paper on Sunday which I happened to read one Monday had this feature on "tweens". I've always thought that the phenomenon was overrated, since the years 8-14 are not those when children traditionally have their identity crises. Maybe, with the chemicals in the environment these days, people are reaching puberty faster, so. Anyhow, according to the feature, lots of funky things can happen during girls' sleepovers - makeout sessions for example as they "take the opportunity to explore themselves sexually and physically". I was always under the impression that girls were more skittish about this type of thing, but then children these days...

Some quotes that puzzled/amused me:
1) "Sixteen is a cool age to lose our virginity. Anyway, we can't lose it any younger or we would get caught" - Yes, but it's the male who gets punished, so why do you care?
2) "Many people think that we're sisters because both of us have long hair" - This girl should be shot.
3) "Girls are prettier than boys. Boys are very dirty, rough and mischievous. I don't like them."
4) Article: "She surfs lesbian porn websites but she thinks that sex between 2 women is disgusting" - Isn't that what lesbian porn is about? These girls are dumber than I thought.
5) "It's disgusting to touch each other's private parts. It's abnormal. My girlfriend has never wanted it either." - Nice to see they share a solely emotional and spiritual bond. Anyway, it's not like society thinks their relationship is any more normal.

According to some girls schools, their students' homosexuality is an expression of their angst. Bah.


It seems people use Friendster to look for pictures of "chio bus" [Dialect: Pretty girls]. What, then, do the "chio bus" use it for? To look for pictures of "yan daos" [Dialect: Handsome guys]?

More traditional disingeneous advice debunked: If facing your fears is the best way of dealing with them, then those who fear being knocked down by a car, infected with flesh eating bacteria, molested or raped should "face" their fears and subject themselves to said activities.

It's evil how developers are moving to 3D games to force consumers to upgrade their systems, while saving on production costs by having the "movies" rendered by the in-game 3D engine instead of rendering or filming their own Full Motion Videos.

I realised I got conned again when I got Command and Conquer: Generals a second time. I suppose it coming in a single disc should have tipped me off, for when I played the game, there was no pre-Mission briefing, no unit sounds and perhaps worse of all - almost all of the terrain tiles had been stripped and replaced with black. Now, I'm no graphics freak but it is nice to admire the (relatively) beautiful terrain as rendered by the 3D engine (though it may never look as beautiful as 2D terrain). More importantly, I need to see ravines and other terrain so I know where to deploy my troops and where I cannot station them! Luckily, DirectConnect came to the rescue, so. I miss the FMV, though. Tanya was really brought to life by the clips in Red Alert. Incidentally, after returning from the UK I have not the patience for medieval total war. That's bad.


I think my introverted trait has been coming to the fore in the past 14 months or so.


Quotes:

[On Friendster] I'm your friend's friend's friend. Want to meet tonight for sex?

[Me on an X-ray at CMPB: Wouldn't you rather stay out and go there tomorrow morning?] Are you crazy? You know how many times I've booked out this week? Wah lao. Cannot tahan. [Me: This is the first time I've heard someone complain about booking out too much.]

[On Screwed Up Regulars] Don't you know? 42 is a dumping ground.

This medical centre is mine. You dare to put anything inside the fridge? I will eat it for you. [Someone: Stool sample.]

[On someone] He's the oly one in the Medical Centre whom nobody calls friend.

Masturbate - left hand. Eat pork - left hand. All the dirty things use left hand (things: use)

[Someone on not stopping CPR if you fracture a rib: Do you want to save lives or save organs first?] Save organs lor. After die can donate (you die you can donate them)

[Me on answering the phone] Hello, MO Room 4. (3)

[Sign] Hotel Pheonix (Phoenix)

[On Tanjong Gul's 'Camp II'] Camp 11? They have so many camps here ah?

[Sign] Care For Soldier (Soldiers)

She males cannot get jobs, so they take pictures of themselves.

Gabriel, you're supposed to be on a diet. I forbig you from eating vegetable (vegetables)
Many people speak about Miracles

"In the case of cancer, there are occasionally spontaneous remissions. If one of these happens under the time frame of a "healing," it will seem to be a miracle. For lesser health problems, there is the placebo effect - the mind is sometimes a powerful aid to healing and if one believes strongly enough that healing will work, it sometimes does. This phenomenon is still not well understood. What is dangerous, however, is feeling better temporarily and attributing it to "healing," when in fact no healing has taken place, and the patient will eventually get worse."

"Many people attribute to miracles that wich can be explained naturally. For instance my sister-in-law says it was a miracle her mother stopped smoking. My husband however tells me it was because he, as a little boy, told his mom that when he grew up he was going to smoke just like her. "

" Now, what constitutes seeing a "miracle"? Had you no knowledge of atomic weapons and witnessed the explosions over Japan, would you not see those as miracles? Just because we view things as miraculous does not mean there isn't a natural explanation that is just not understood by the individual. Many majicians may be viewed as performing miracles if the viewer does not understand that slight-of-hand is being used."

"I come from the heart of the bible belt and I've seen first hand how people are lead to believe that if these so called "healings" do not come about
then it isn't gods will.Conversly, if you are"healed" it is the will of god. Obviously a no lose proposition for the faithhealer. Many of these modern tent revivalists "heal" psychosomatic dis-eases that are easily mistaken as legitimate. People in these healing ministries believe,for the most part, what they are told or expect."

"In the occassional miracle tent crusades in this area and in church services, with the laying on of hands etc. supposed demons being expelled from some of them. I've seen and know many the people laying claim to god healing them. Much fanfare at the time but the reality of the matter is this. These same people who still live in this village are still as sick as ever, some of course have died. These are the same people who came down to the front of the church or tent and claimed the healing power of god had come upon them. These poor people who got caught up in the emotional hype of the night were victims of hyper active suggestion. There are some people in all walks of life whether religious or atheist who go into remission. This is as yet not understood but is leading more and more to positive suggestion."

"There was a popular faith healer, some time back, named Kathryn Kuhlman. At the time I lived in Los Angeles, she would fill the enormous Shrine auditorium, and her "healings" were numerous. People on crutches and in wheelchairs suddenly had bodies that could do extraordinary things, for all in the audience to witness.

A family member of mine, who was a nurse, told me that their emergency room had to put on extra staff for the few days following each of Kuhlman's visits to town."

"All religions have miracles. It makes them more appealing and helps explain anything we don't know. Most of the christians I know are apt to call anything good that happens to them a miracle. Charismatic churches teach that everything is a work of god or the devil. I challenge anyone to come up with someone that has lost a limb and had it regrown from a miracle. Why would this be any more difficult to god then healing cancer? Thing is, you won't find it. Any lead you get on a miracle like that dissapears when you chase it. If something like this did happen it would be HUGE news. Any doctor would be blown away to see that."

"Faith healers bury their failures... literally. The dead don't get to give testimonials about how God smote them down. The terminally ill who believe in such generally continue to cling to hope to the end, so they're not going to say anything to tick off the big cheese. And chronically ill people who eventually lose faith don't usually draw a large audience to hear their non-testimony of non-healing. So we usually hear only about the "successes." Anyone have any impartial statistics on faith healer success ratios compared to spontaneous remission rates? Hmmm... I wonder if it could be exactly equal be some strange coincidence."

" Does it not surprise anyone that when god has delivered a "miracle", everyone hears about it and everyone praises him, but the 9,999,999 other times when he does nothing, nobody notices or say that it is his "divine will"? Seems the odds of this god delivering a miracle are the same as that of the "miracle" occuring naturally. How convenient." (My own contribution)

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Alcohol is a wonderful virtual CD program. Unfortunately, it's exorbitantly priced, and the claims of reading virtual CDs at up to 200x speed must be taken with a pinch of salt, since you'd be reading from and writing to the hard disk simultaneously.


I still think the Sunday Times is an atrocious, disorganised mess, divided into only 2 sections so at most 2 people can read it at any time. Regardless, their back page interview fills me with mirth:

Reporter: You seem to delight in controversy. Almost all your plays are rated R(A). Shopping and F***ing had scenes of gang rape, sex orgies, drug abuse, Bent had gay characters parading in leather G-strings while Fireface dealt with necrophilia and incest. Very dark and disturbing preoccupations for a Raffles Girls' School (RGS) girl, wouldn't you say?

Beatrice Chia: Oh no! On the contrary, my penchant for R(A) plays is inspired by my days at RGS! Underneath all those A1s, thick glasses and pinafores, we had very sexy minds too, you know. In fact, the school disciplinarian is my inspiration for this photo shoot. I dedicate this picture to her. Filiae Melioris Aevi (means: daughters of a better age) Mrs Lim! Remember that RGS didn't just produce such luminaries like Claire Chiang, Kit Chan and Emma Yong, we produced Annabel Chong too. We were very well-balanced, I think. I am definitely going to send my daughter to school at RGS.

Reporter: You spent two years studying at a boarding school for boys in England. How has that experience shaped you as a person and taught you about boys and men?

Beatrice Chia: Seriously, sexually frustrated British boys aged between 13 and 18, locked up in a boarding school that looks like Hogwarts can be pretty scary. They seemed to think that screaming 'Slapper-face!' at a girl 30 times a day and emotionally abusing her was 'smashing!' and 'wicked fun!'

By the time I left, I felt as if I had been through two years of BMT in Pulau Tekong.

Until I went to boarding school, I always thought William Golding's Lord Of The Flies was pure fiction.

Reporter: Apparently you got into regular fights with them.

Beatrice Chia: Yes. Those were some of the best days of my life. When you fight with scary British boys, you have to be prepared to fight to the death. Some of our fights would last for days. But I always knew how to hurt them bad. I would just confiscate their porn magazines. That always got them good.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Straw poll:

How old do you think this girl is? She plays a 14 year old in Matchstick Men.

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

Picture 4

Highlight below for the answer:

DOB:18 September 1979

Well it sure fooled me. On hindsight, though, "Now, she CAN'T be 14. Her features are too well defined for that.". Ahh, the benefits of hindsight.

Anyway I suck. More than half the people I polled on ICQ guessed at least 20. Bah.

Comments from the IMDB boards:

"When I first saw the commercial for Matchstick Men, and Nicolas Cage said something about a 14 year old daughter, I thought it was a joke - she looked at least 21, maybe more. But when I actually saw the movie, I did believe that she might be 14. Her face makes her look like she's in her 20's, but her body was a child's body: very small breasts, and a lack of body fat that's typical of barely-pubescent children. It was easier for me to believe that a child could have an adult looking face than that an adult would have a child's body, so I accepted her supposed age. I'm sure she could do well playing adult roles, though, if they dressed her to make her look a little curvier. She was a very good actress."

"I'm glad to find out that she isn't 14 years old, as depicted in Matchstick Men, because honestly, I was having dirty thoughts about her, and I would feel weird if she was really 14. Phew! Glad to know...."

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Perfect piece of software - Complete, bug-free, amazingly compact, and it does *exactly* what its designers say it will. And it's free!

Bush Sr.'s 'message' to Bush Jr. - Former President George H.W. Bush, has given his own most treasured award to Senator Edward Kennedy... The father lived his life in the service of moderate and intelligent internationalism. His manners were always meticulously courteous, as he wooed even critics overseas to see the American position. He was even-handed in the Middle East and thus brought the area to the verge of peace for the first time in history; he was capable of using force but preferred to do it supported by coalitions of friendly states, thus cementing international cooperation. The son seems to have made posturing against his father's accomplishments and beliefs his life's work.

U.S. Troops Order Comfort, With Fries on the Side - Soldiers Looking for a Taste of Home Make for a Booming Business at Iraq's First Burger King

Bush's 'spirit' cursed with black magic, tossed into river

Censorship : To Cut or Not to Cut? - "When the sons of our soil are of legal age to bear arms and die for our country, but deemed not mature to handle the sight of breasts, I am puzzled... When license plates bearing the SEX prefix are given a pass, just because they might convey certain connotations and 'offend' certain individuals, I am puzzled."

All Good No Bad - "what the market loved best about Singapore was what was absent: Politics. The country has quite literally traded politics for wealth, with its most prominent political thinkers endlessly reminding the world that "Asian values" prioritize economic achievement over civil liberties.


"The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means." --Georges Bernanos (1888-1948), French novelist and political writer.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

My Grand Tour of England and Wales - Part 6 of 6

Day 11 - Lord of the Rings-Kensington Palace-British Library-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

On Thursday, I went to look at the Lord of The Rings exhibition which was being held at the Science Museum. The ticket was expensive - 9 pounds 95, plus 1 pound for Internet pre-booking, without which getting a ticket would've been impossible, as for last year's James Bond exhibition. The exhibition was fantastic, though it being advertised as being a travelling exhibition that would make only one stop (London) in Europe, leading me to suspect that it may come to Singapore with a ticket price substantially below what I paid.

Many props and costumes used in the film were on display, and I could ogle at them closely. The weapons all had tediously verbose inscriptions on them, but maybe they aid in battle, so. And of course there was the trivia: some of the Riders of Rohan were women with beards glued on them, and Viggo Mortensen bought his horse after filming because he'd grown so attached to it. There were also many "making of" videos. Among them, Gollum and Andy Serkis saying lines side by side, with hauntingly similar facial expressions (a testament to their face modelling and motion capture software) The way they "filmed" the battle scenes was intriguing - instead of modelling each soldier individually, they made each soldier a semi-sentient autonomous agent, with pre-defined fighting styles and behavior.

However, they were careful not to show or say anything about Return of the King. Coupled with the removal of some items which were being used for filming of Return of the King, that made the exhibition somewhat incomplete. Also, there were no chairs, so when my feet were finally giving out after viewing much of the extensive exhibition, I had to sit on the floor.

After the exhibition and in the underpass on the way to the tube station, I saw one of the rare violin buskers (you don't find any in Singapore). He kept playing the first part of Bach's Chaconne, which led me to suspect he didn't know the latter parts. My curiosity piqued, I dropped a pound and asked if he knew any Paganini. He tried playing Caprice 24 but unfortunately only managed the introductions, before being stumped and saying he needed "practice".

Leaving the busker behind, I got conned by the tube as a train didn't go where it was said to go, but eventually I ended up at Kensington Palace.

Looking at furnished interiors and Edwardian royal exhibits does not normally raise my eyebrows, but Kensington Palace was rather interesting. Ossified rituals notwithstanding, the ostrich feather plumes worn by the female wax models were cute, and it was amusing to learn that the men wore 2 sets of stockings to prevent their leg hair from being visible, and carried to court hats that couldn't be worn. In a special exhibition of Diana's dresses, commentary was available for every single one of them. I didn't want to go mad, so I skipped the commentary for most of them.

My next stop was the British Library. The exhibition "Painted Labyrinth - the World of the Lindisfarne Gospels" was on, and to flesh out the exhibition, they sneakily included a lot of non-Lindisfarne related material, going so far as to include material from China and Japan in a "Beyond The Known World" section. After a short while browsing, though, my feet gave out and I had to retreat to a place where I could sit. When I'd recovered sufficiently, I scurried hurriedly through the "Treasures of the British Library" gallery, because somehow I was under the impression that it closed at 6pm. The gallery was an eye opener as it had many significant (a term I used to diss in Sec 2, for it was overused and overrated, but which is appropriate here) objects, like the text of Beowulf, a Gutenburg bible and the last 2 copies of the 1215 Magna Carta (so now I've seen all 4). By the time I'd looked through everything, my feet were giving out again, so I couldn't look at the exciting-sounding "Rare Books and Music" gallery.

Collecting the ticket for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the last musical I was to watch, was my last task. For 25 pounds or so, it came with a free dinner (yet another lastminute.com deal) at "Break in the Border", an American restaurant beside the theatre. Here, not only did I not have to cajole the staff for water, but 2 cups came to me, the former with ice cubes and a slice of lemon - a pleasant contrast to the previous day's dinner. My appetiser was a trifle small - "half a rack" of ribs turned out to be only 3 bones' worth: maybe the ribs were of a piglet. The main course was adequate though, and tasted fine, and the person who planned the menu was very considerate, including a vegetarian option. I saw that there was a children's menu for 2 pounds 95, which sounded suspiciously cheap, but didn't pursue the matter.

While killing time before the show, I saw a sign outside a cafe advertising what must have been the cheapest English Breakfast in the world. A set with "2 Fried Eggs, Bacon, Cumberland Sausage, Grilled Mushroom, Baked Beans, Tomato, Toast" was advertised as selling for 50 pence. I was more than a little suspicious, so I went in to look at the menu and the real price was 4 pounds 95. I asked the man at the counter, and he agreed that 50 pence was "not possible". However, the lettering of the price looked genuine, so it was unlikely to have been stuck there by a vandal. One possibility is that the sign used to say 4 pounds 50, but someone removed the "4". However, the current price was 4 pounds 95, so the owners must not have bothered with correcting the sign in the long period of time since the vandalism (since there was a price increase in the interim), perhaps reasoning that it'd draw customers. In fact for all we know, the fake price could have been put there by the owners themselves to con customers!

In contrast to my seats for Joseph and Bombay Dreams, I got a seat in the "Upper Circle" for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Now, I've sat in Circle seats before, but I never knew "Upper" Circles existed. Sitting in my seat and looking down on the stage, I felt dizzy and the air seemed rarefied (or maybe it was the large crowd and poor ventilation). Further, there was so little leg room I feared getting Deep Vein Thrombosis (Economy Class Syndrome) In front of me was a binoculars for hire, for 50p, like in the Apollo Victoria. This led me to wonder if the 50p was a deposit, to be returned when the binoculars was returned, as it would be tedious to go around to all the seats to collect them, there was no slot in the holder to remove the coins from and because if not there'd be no incentive to return the binoculars.

Sitting at the top did have its perks, though, For one you can see the lines of the trapdoors from that dizzying height. Luckily, when the show started, many of us in the "Upper Circle" moved forward, as did I, so I finally could see the whole stage and stretch my legs.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:
- They made fun of Bulgaria - on the map "Vulgaria" was located approximately where Bulgaria is today
- They praised the English: "We have to be less Vulgar and more English"
- The parts where the dogs ran around on stage were fun. They're coming up with more and more gimmicks for musicals these days.
- There were many pointless numbers which were just excuses to dance and sing (ala Spirited Away excuse to draw)
- Why does the Baroness of Vulgaria hate children so much?
- The hissing of the Childcatcher is irritating
- This show was the most crowd-pleasing of the three. Probably was the children cheering.
- The female lead kept trying to sing like Julie Andrews. The one in the movie did that too, so maybe it was deliberate
- At least they didn't affect fake modesty and run off the stage after a first bow

When I got back I was hungry, so Hwa kindly drove me to the Chinese takeaway. The spring roll I bought from there, though, had leek inside. Argh.

Back to Singapore

I didn't see the point of taking a 30 pound airport shuttle, so I took the tube to Heathrow, something Jie and Hwa were somehow dead against doing. It was tolerable though and didn't take too long.

At Heathrow I was bored so I tried, for the first time, one of those prize grabbing machines which readers may know better as the "UFO Catcher". I was tempted by the watches and the 5 pound notes in casings which were up for grabs, but I was wondering what the catch was, as was this guy looking on. After 3 tries, I realised. Aiming the grabber is not that hard in and of itself even though you can only move in 2 directions, and once each too, but the casings (I was aiming for the 5 pound notes) were slippery and the grip of the grabber was awkward and lousy. So in the end I gained nothing except knowledge of how these machines make money.

Looking in the bookstore, I noticed that among the varied selection was a porn mag "for women" (niche market?) and smut for men, mostly S&M, at the top shelf of the "thriller" section (the most suitable place for those, I suppose).

While waiting for the plane, this teen girl took a picture of her teddy bear with a camera in its lap, and smarties beside its hand. She said her bear had been to New Zealand, Germany and some other places. Her mother then remarked that she felt embarassed. Maybe I should have brought Blue Bear out.

KLIA had an interesting sanitiser in the toilet. Basically it sprayed liquid onto a tissue which you would use to wipe the toilet seat. In retrospect this makes a lot of sense because, since Muslims use water to wash their butts after defecation, the water you often see scattered on the toilet seat is of dubious provenance and the seat should be sterilised.


Misc notes:

At King's Cross St Pancreas station, there was an ever-so-subtle sign about CCTV, anti-social behavior and public toilets being available above.

Jiggling looks awfully uncomfortable. I wonder how people can stand it.

I got asked for spare change again. I asked the person if he had anything to eat, and when he replied in the negative, I gave him an extra stuffed honey mustard chicken roll which my sister had given me for lunch but which I'd not eaten. Last I saw as I was walking away, he was unwrapping it. Later, another person accosted me, but he was more disheveled, less in possession of his wits and was using a Guiness mug (of all things!) to collect change, so his face just read "drunkard".

Why, for photographs in their portfolio or profile (at least in theatre programmes) do people like black and white shots? Is it so we can't see the makeup so easily?

I think there's something wrong with my brown walking shoes. Even my SAF boots don't stink as easily though they extend past the ankle. Maybe they're infected with fungus.

Why are orchestra conductors all men?

In the end I saved 107 pounds 35 pence with my Great Britain Heritage Pass. That's about S$308, so I doubled my investment.

Clapping during performances is really annoying. Not only does it drown out the performers, you show contempt for the performer's sense of timing (then again for modern performers, this contempt may not be misplaced), some people can't clap properly, and the audience never knows when there's a ritardando or accelerando, and the clapping then becomes out of sync with the performance.

Apparently Ma-laysia Airlines was voted one of the world's top 5 airlines in a 2003 global survey. Wah. But I think this was for Business Class only - in Economy Class, to save money they give plastic cutlery instead of metal. Or maybe this is a "security" measure after 9/11. Bah. It's not even a steak knife. There's one thing I absolutely abhor about MAS though - their interminable advertisements for KLIA, played on long haul flights into KL.

Muslims are very considerate. A larger proportion of their television broadcasts (as compared to the "West") have someone translating into sign language in a small box in the corner of the screen.

The reason why people who dye their hair blonde are instantly recognisable as having done so is that dyed blonde hair, unlike naturally blonde hair, is of a uniform shade, where naturally blonde hair has substantial colour texture.

Much has been said about Muslims using water and their hands to wash up after defecation, but I find that using toilet paper in conjunction with this method is ultimately cleaner than using toilet paper alone, and results in less discomfort and inconvenience later.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Many soldiers, same letter - Newspapers around U.S. get identical missives from Iraq - How low can they sink?

The Asian Squat

Bus turns over on I-94 - Hyles-Anderson College students were heading to Chicago for ministry work - "passengers were standing in the aisle, singing and rocking back and forth," causing the driver to lose control of the bus.

Librarian Action Figure - With push button shushing!

Make your own Artificial Vagina - Courtesy of Melvin

How to Tell When a Relationship is Over

Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass - "Abstract: The exponential dependence of resistivity on temperature in germanium is found to be a great big lie. My careful theoretical modeling and painstaking experimentation reveal 1) that my equipment is crap, as are all the available texts on the subject and 2) that this whole exercise was a complete waste of my time."

Who was the worst Catholic saint?:

* Be nonexistent. In Christianity's early days sainthood was a matter of popular acclaim. When the church formalized canonization in the 13th century, the traditional saints were grandfathered in, but later historical review found no reliable information about many of them and some appeared never to have existed at all. One egregious example is Saint Josaphat, who supposedly was the son of an East Indian king who persecuted his Christian subjects. When it was foretold that his son would become a Christian, the king had him brought up in confinement, but the son converted anyway. Scholars eventually realized this was actually the legend of the Buddha tricked out in Christian disguise.

Then there's Saint Ursula, said to have been martyred along with 11,000 virgin companions in 451 at Cologne. Although it's possible some women were martyred in that city at some point, the notion of there ever having been 11,000 virgins in one place at one time ultimately proved too much for even true believers to swallow, and veneration of Ursula was suppressed.

When Pope Paul VI revised the canon of saints in 1969, some traditional saints were downgraded because of doubts about their stories, if not necessarily their existence. Saint Christopher, for example, is thought to have been martyred under the Roman emperor Decius in the third century, but nothing else is known about him. The well-known story about his having carried the Christ child across a river--the kid supposedly became staggeringly heavy because he bore the weight of the world--is now recognized as pious fiction.

Not all fabrications about saints can be attributed to medieval simpletons. Take the case of Saint Philomena. In 1802 the bones of a girl between 13 and 15 years old, plus a vial of what was believed to be dried blood, were found in a catacomb in Rome. An inscription said, "Peace be with thee, Philomena" and included depictions of anchors, arrows, and a palm. Impressionable souls leaped to the conclusion that these were the tokens of a virgin martyr. A cult sprang up and hundreds of miracles were attributed to Philomena's intercession. Other devout persons of the era, several of whom went on to become canonized themselves, implored Pope Gregory XVI to start the canonization process, and devotions to Philomena were authorized in 1837. Reason eventually reasserted itself and Philomena was removed from the calendar of saints in 1961.

* Be crazy. Where to start? Paging through Butler's Lives we find the story of Saint Christina the Astonishing, who was unable to bear the smell of human beings. "She lived by begging, dressed in rags, and in many ways behaved in a very terrifying manner," we are told. "There is little in the recorded history of Christina . . . to make us think she was other than a pathological case."

What Really Happened (Pre-911 Page) - Collection of shrill and improbable conspiracy theories. Why people give such great credence is beyond me.


The Freenet Project - philosophy - beginner (Extract)

Why is the freedom to share ideas and opinions so important? There are several ways to answer this question:

1. Communication is what makes us human
2. Knowledge is good
3. Democracy assumes a well informed population

Censorship and freedom

Consider now that someone had the ability to control the information you have access to. This would give them the ability to manipulate your opinions by hiding some facts from you, by presenting you with lies and censoring anything that contradicted those lies. This is not some Orwellian fiction, it is standard practice for most western governments to lie to their populations.

The solution

The only way to ensure that a democracy will remain effective is to ensure that the government cannot control its population's ability to share information, to communicate. So long as everything we see and hear is filtered, we are not truly free. Freenet's aim is to allow two or more people who wish to share information, to do so.

Isn't censorship sometimes necessary?

There are many who feel that censorship is a good thing in some circumstances. For example, in some European countries propagating information deemed to be racist is illegal. Governments seek to prevent people from advocating ideas which are deemed damaging to society. There are two answers to this however. The first is that you can't allow those in power to impose "good" censorship, without also enabling them to impose "bad" censorship. To impose any form of censorship a government must have the ability to monitor and thus restrict communication. There are already criticisms that the anti-racism censorship in many European countries is hampering legitimate historical analysis of events such as the second world war.

The second argument is that this "good" censorship is counter-productive even when it does not leak into other areas. For example, it is generally more effective when trying to persuade someone of something to present them with the arguments against it, and then answer those arguments. Unfortunately, preventing people from being aware of the often sophisticated arguments used by racists, makes them vulnerable to those arguments when they do eventually encounter them.

Of course the first argument is the stronger one, and would still hold-true even if you didn't accept the second. Basically, you either have censorship, or you don't. There is no middle-ground.

What about child porn, offensive content or terrorism?

While most people wish that child pornography and terrorism did not exist, humanity should not be deprived of their freedom to communicate just because of how a very small number of people might use that freedom.


The ultimate Indian!

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asked if he would like to play a Fun game.The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep. The American, now agitated,says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American. "Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his references........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500. The Indian thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

5 things just occurred to me. 7 hours before my next class.


a) Studying about drug dependency and abuse, psychotropic drugs... an adverse effect listed for LSD is "bad trips". *Bad trips* is so descriptive - those two words conjure up images of fantasy schoolbuses rampaging off cliffs, flower-power magic carpets crumpling up underneath unsuspecting fun-lovers, hot-air balloons accelerating downwards (to its occupants' gaping horror). You're strapped in the rollercoaster, you're going down the steep end, and you know it derails shortly ... but you can't get off.

b) Friendster- does it still count if the vast majority of my 24 friendsters come from the same, tight-knit social circle?

c) If you huddle under the first name "Raffles", "Melbourne" or "GEP" (with that 20-yr old pyramid logo), please don't add me. I'll reject you and you wouldn't like that, would you? I wouldn't like that either.

d) Just authed debbie and geraldine. Debbie and geraldine please don't take offense if you're reading this ... i had the impression i was authorizing two totally different people. Till it occurred to me (for the umpteenth time) oh yah, i *do* know two debbies both from the same cell group and went to check the info/photos. Also was wondering "since when did little sop-singing fan-of-my-little-pony geraldine wear lipstick and eyeliner?" when i realized it was geraldine-who-lives-across-from-my-block geradline (pink is so your colour!).

e) I really enjoy pharmacology. I have a passion for it the same way that most of my coursemates detest it - with a vengeance. If i had more patience i'd easily picture myself going into drug research in a clinical setting. Maybe that's not so far away.

Panettone anyone? i'm picking up a couple over the next few days.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Does anyone know where i can get the script for "Finding nemo"? I can't find it on the net....

Sunday, October 12, 2003

My Grand Tour of England and Wales - Part 5 of X

Day 10 - Hampton Court-Bombay Dreams-Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat (Cont'd)

At the station where I got off in London, there was a guy peeing in a corner and there was so much pee, it flowed back to him after it hit the ground. I was tempted to take a picture, but he'd have punched me, so.

Bombay Dreams was showing at the Apollo Victoria theatre, and the lobby was veritably full of Indians, mostly old ladies. After collecting my ticket, I had lunch at a nearby Subway because I didn't want to chance being late, and had a Southwest Turkey Bacon sandwich - the hottest sandwich I'd ever had in my life. The menu did not label it as "hot" (as opposed to some other sandwiches), so I shuddered to think of how fiery some of the "hot" sandwiches must have been.

My seat was in row E, 5th from the stage - at only 15 pounds: Lastminute.com is good. Nonetheless, the legroom left much to be desired, so me and this American sitting beside me moved out along the row, only to be thwarted when a couple arrived at the last minute.

Perhaps due to it being a Matinee, the production that I watched was lacking in some ways - in many scenes, the lip synching was obvious to the point that I couldn't hear them singing, especially when they were speaking in what I took to be Hindi. Of course, my noticing this was helped by the revelation last year that musical (and maybe others as well) performances in large theatres always play a pre-recorded track of song, on top of which the performers sing, and my sister playing music from the show to me before I watched it. My scrutiny also revealed to me that what I thought was, in common parlance, known as the 'self-destruct button', was actually their microphones, and the wires were quite obvious trailing down bare backs. Though I wonder where the base units were hidden - perhaps in their underwear, or the cracks of their asses?

Some way into the show, I noticed that some of the "Indians" were actually ang mohs dressed up as Indians (at least half of the ensemble had Caucasian names). All of the eunuchs were Caucasian, for example. Most ironically, the male lead himself was a Caucasian (from the cast lists, I found out he was actually a chorus boy drafted in in the absence of the main lead). Guess they couldn't find enough real Indians.

Generally, the musical was cliched yet still enjoyable. The ending, though, grated. Why is it in vogue these days to include tacky post-modernist, self-referential elements in your productions? Argh.

Other notes on Bombay Dreams:
- They had 2 people to play percussion instruments, each sitting on a raised platform on either side of the stage, and one of them had the classic 'Jesus Christ' look (long, slightly curvy brown hair, moderate length beard and moustache)
- They couldn't hide their UK accents, especially when singing
- The transvestites were funny
- The choreographed mass dance scenes where a million extras appear from nowhere and start dancing were also funny. And I was impressed by the scenes with water fountains and rain
- The jiggling of buns and breasts was funny
- The Ms World headdress was freaky
- The pink aerobic costumes were very 'funky', especially the guys' with pink bandanas
- The fight scene with nunchakus was fun
- They didn't wait enough to take their second bow, but the encore piece made up for it
- It's very rare to find a story without love these days. Off the top of my head, I can only think of Cats, the Wizard of Oz and Joseph and the Amazing Techniclour Dreamcoat
- There were binoculars for rent at the back seats - disgusting
- There were primary school kids who came out of the theatre dancing (badly and out of sync) to and singing "Shakalaka Baby" (out of tune)

After Bombay Dreams ended, I had another musical to catch - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. The nearest stop to the theatre was Covent Garden and being bored and having time to kill I once again climbed the 201 steps for what I think was at least the 2nd, and maybe the 3rd time. After my ascent, I was sitting by the side of the station to recover but got suffocated by cigarette smoke, so my head remained dizzy for a while.

After collecting my ticket at the New London theatre, I noticed that the place where I'd had a meagre dinner before catching Cats in 2001 was closing. I actually wanted to have dinner there again, but there was no food left. I walked a short distance over to an Indian restaurant, "Spice of London", which claimed to be a branch of a famous restaurant from India, which offered a pre-theatre set menu, including a "dissert of the day" (which so amused me, I took a picture of it). One of the staff probably mistook my photo taking for intense interest in their set, and came out, describing the Lamb Tariwala as "spicy". I figured that, this being a place catering to Ang Moh palletes, I should be okay. Besides, I think I'd passed it over for the joint that was now closing down 2 years ago, so I figured I should give it a shot.

So it turned out that I was right. The Lamb Tariwala tasted of a pleasant blend of spices, and in fact was less hot than the sandwich I'd had for lunch. The Naan was crisp and the rice fragrant. There was good food, and good service to boot, though I had to press the waiter before he served me tap water, attempting to pull off the "still or sparkling?" routine when I first asked, which I naturally did not fall for.

Entering the New London theatre and going up the escalator, it was striking how many shows had run at the theatre from 1973-1981, but only one from 1981-2002. I noticed that they'd done extensive renovations since Cats, with its unique stage, had vacated the theatre. At least half of the seats must have been reconfigured. As with Bombay Dreams, I got an amazingly good seat which also cost around 15 pounds, but that may partially have been because the theatre was rather empty.

From the start, Joseph struck me as being very much tied to its start as a school musical. From having a narrator, the campy children's choir, and a wealth of American cultural references, to the blow up sheep and Egyptian Cheerleaders, the music largely played on synthesisers and the corniness, it just screamed "school musical". There were notable attempts at making it look less cheapskate (eg fire eating, Brazillian dancers) but overall, they didn't succeed. But then, maybe they didn't want to.

I liked the lack of any direct, and the few indirect, references to Jehovah, in keeping with the spirit of the musical. But unlike most other musicals, the performers' mics were eminently visible. And I doubted Joseph's coat really had as many colours as were sung about in the song, though ("It was red and yellow and green and brown, And scarlet and black and ocher and peach, And ruby and olive and violet and fawn, And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve, And cream and crimson and silver and rose, And azure and lemon and russet and grey, And purple and white and pink and orange, And red and yellow and green and brown, Scarlet and black and ocher and peach, And ruby and olive and violet and fawn, And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve, And cream and crimson and silver and rose, And azure and lemon and russet and grey, And purple and white and pink and orange, And blue.")

Strikingly, Joseph had the most protracted encore scene I'd ever seen, which managed to get most of the small audience off their butts and up clapping and singing, except for a bellicose, diehard group centred around me which stubbornly remained seated. One happy side-effect of the cast's encouraging of everyone to stand up and sing along was that they got a free standing ovation at the end!


Misc notes:

Hwa is terrible at doing housekeeping. His camera's memory card still had images from before my last visit on it.

Some grafiti is quite well done, with artistic merit, even.

In some ways, the shadow of the SAF lingered over me - I even had (bad) dreams of camp, and often I found myself not enjoying myself as much as I should have.

There was this female tube driver whose verbosity rivaled that of the pre-recorded announcements in SMRT stations. At each station, she would offer a verbose, informative and polite announcement. Another day, there was a man doing an announcement over the PA system in the station with a level of enthusiasm approaching that of a football commentator - he told the ladies the next train would have no seats, but the gentlemen'd surely give up their seats for them.

The travel time from Leicester Square station to Covent Garden is about 2 seconds. What's the point? What's the point, too, of playing announcements in both the train and the station? The result is that neither will be heard nor heeded.

The Indian restaurant I had dinner in on Wednesday had this green (jade?) sculpture of a dragon and phoenix, with a ball rotated by flowing water - a uniquely chinese artifact.

They still sell 500ml bottles of Coke in London, unlike evil Singapore where we've had 390ml bottles at 500ml prices for many few months already.

I declined beggars' pleas throughout my trip. Yeh. I actually saw an anti-begging poster saying 80% of the money's used for drugs and alcohol - I don't know about that.

I wonder how the British stand summer with few fans and even fewer air-conditioners.

TO BE CONTINUED - The End Is Nigh
I have been attached back. This gives me one less reason to complain about 42's torture of me, however futilely. I'm quite sure there is/was *some* way I could complain about what they did, but I don't know how. On the bright side, though, since I returned, I haven't been tortured too badly, both because of block leave and my CSM going on course. However, improbably, the madness of my company has recently reached new heights (or depths). Among other things, they want to check our bags before booking out, have roll calls after booking in and disallow staying out for medical appointments. They actually wanted to stop us leaving the day before our proper day of leave or off, but thankfully they revoked that draconian order. Hopefully, saner heads will prevail and these rules will be relaxed over time, but then we have no power, as tattooed invisibly all over us are the words: "Property of the SAF".

Even if you do accept that National Slavery is essential to guarantee Singapore's safety, we have to ask ourselves: are these ridiculous and unnecessary measures truly necessary to maintain Operational Readiness? Or are they just the sadistic whims of a few people inflicted on the rest to no practical end? Happy soldiers are (more) willing and (more) effective soldiers, so making them miserable does not help you fight a war. There is a reason why the Navy and Air Force are professional organisations made up, for the most part, of regulars, while the Army is just a place where regulars torture NSFs and everyone wastes their time.

Someone formerly from 42SAR was posted to 2SIR, and he tells me that, contrary to what people say about infantry, 2SIR is actually quite slack. They aren't obsessed with BUC, there's no RT (maybe just for his company), there's more freedom and they're less regimental.

Commanders like to say that if their men fail their IPPT and SOC, it is their failure as commanders for not training their men. All very noble and admirable, but unfortunately, the men are the ones who suffer for their commanders' "failures". Taking the blame is nothing - it's the punishment that kills.

Just as Ivan reminds me of Julian, I realise that Vincent reminds me of Luther. It's not just that they are both tall - they both can be corny (the latter more than the former), and have a knack for making certain types of statements which I am at a loss for words to describe.

One reservist MO was giving out his namecard to all the patients he saw. And one reservist corporal was marking geography essays. The joys of reservist life.

We were discussing how to raise productivity, and hit on the idea of using computers to answer calls, as many companies do nowadays. On calling, you caller would hear something like this: "Welcome to the Armour Medical Centre. For English, please press 1. For Mandarin, press 2. If you want Malay, you've dialed the wrong number. Please put down the phone." The caller would then be invited to press a number corresponding to which unit he wished to reach, and put on hold, to be treated from time to time to placating messages such as: "Thank you for waiting. All our operators are currently unavailable. Your call is important to us. For your convenience, a fax line is also available at ***", until someone bothered to pick up the phone or the caller grew so fed up he put down, and soothing music like songs from the recently cut Army Songs album, or "Medics of the Field", the official song of the SAF Medical Corps.

I noticed that SFI's proclaimed mission is to "provide safe and wholesome food". Notice it says nothing about tasty food. I was also always under the impression that safe food is a non-negotiable item. Further, this mission implies that SAF food in the past was neither safe nor wholesome.

I was having a hair cut at the 46 barber, and I noticed that due to the dearth of reading materials, people usually read what's available while waiting. Old issues of 8 Days and Cleo seem to be all that the barber stocks (since she probably reads both), and most people would have read the former, so you see men reduced to reading Cleo when they would not in any other circumstances. The looks on their faces range from bewilderment to disinterest. Meanwhile, I am mostly smiling condescendingly for among other things, half the magazine is ads, and 3/4 of the remainder is disguised ads (features or pictures of products, with prices and availability).

The ever efficient SAF shot an arrow to someone, and eventually it was passed along to me. That in and of itself wouldn't have been so bad, but I had to do the same task 3 times in a row, increasing in intensity, tedium and detail each time, which meant the first 2 times (and 1 1/2 hrs) were wasted.

The putrid miasma of Singapore, especially that in my camp (all that reclaimed swampland, you see) seems to have given me back my slight cough.

"Lithographer" is an SAF vocation. I am speechless.

The SAF should, in addition to the SAF Counselling Hotline, set up an anonymous channel for complaints. The chain of command just doesn't cut it.

People say I looked rejuvenated after my trip. Let's hope this burst lasts till next June.

The guys got 3 days off for not more than 24 hours of work during the Army Half Marathon. Wah.

Tri-Circle brand locks are very lousy. With his skeleton key, Law managed to open Zhenhao's lock after the latter locked himself out of his cupboard.

On Wednesday and Thursday, I was giving reservists jabs at Khatib and Maju. They get half a day off, and half a day of pay, just to spend 5 mins taking an injection (or two, as the case might be). Wah. Also, the driver who drove me on the first day understood English better than he spoke it, and sensed I had the same problem for Mandarin, so he suggested I speak to him in English, and that he'd reply in Mandarin, which was an excellent arrangement. Later on the same day, the clerk who was with us treated us to some snacks from the canteen because he was ORD-ing in 6 days time. The Khatib canteen had some really innovative food, all of which I was trying for the first time - I had sardines wrapped in a pancake, pastry with some bland mildly salty potato filling and sasane (however you spell it - the chewy thing with sesame seeds on the outside) with a coconut filling (instead of the usual peanut or lotus paste). And then on the second day, Channel 8 was filming at Maju, and I also saw Johann there.

Bob is gone for 2 months, so I should be able to sleep on 2 mattresses. However, others keep stealing them before I can take them, and worse, someone is trying to evict me from my secret garden, reducing me to mono-syllabic utterances. Gah!

The E-Mart in my camp sells Seventeen magazine. Why this is so puzzles me, as I am probably the only NSF who has ever bought this magazine, and then only twice.

I think I am very much a goody two shoes. Maybe 2 year soldiers are more willing to take risks as they have less to lose. At the same time, nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, more attention seems to be paid to me since I am the No 1 enemy of 42SAR.

An X-ray of my soles revealed that I have "bilateral accessory naviculae". So now I know why it always hurts so much.

I was sending this guy to Tengah Airbase at night to report sick, and noticed one medic staring at me. After a while he said, "You're Gabriel Seah right? I'm from RJ too. 1 year your junior". For the life of me, I didn't know who he was. It seems my wanted posters are distributed far and wide (and how come my fellow RJ-ians always get cushy postings?! Gah).

I wonder why the SAF let the Straits Times do a story on DB. Probably it was for PR reasons, but what the article did not say was more telling than what it did. It was interesting to find out what Jehovah's Witnesses do in DB - they get a special T-Shirt and to tend the nursery, cook the food (so there's no cookhouse there?) and feed the fishes. I wonder what happens to non-Jehovah's Witnesses conscientious objectors.

Other interesting facts about DB:
- they get 5 slices of bread for breakfast (we get 4)
- they wake up at 6am (5BX personnel wake at 5:25am, and the rest at 5:45am, at least on paper)


Life

Often, joyous events themselves do not give one that heady a thrill, but recollection of them gives one the time and perspective to appreciate them, and for the events to gain the shimmer that only nostalgia can give falsely them. On the other hand, with time, people remember their past sadness to be less intense than it was, as time has dulled their memory and they desire to be happy.

I wonder why some people like to try to interfere in matters that, if allowed to go on uninterrupted, either will not, or have an infinitesimally small chance of, affecting them. This is all the more puzzling and unpleasant when the gains to others of allowing these events to continue far outweighs the expected loss to the antagonists. Perhaps, in addition to desiring to eliminate, as far as possible, even the smallest of risks to their well-being, these people like to scold others to feel important, and have a fixed idea about the perfect order of the world, and any attempt by others to upset it upsets them.

It's funny. Some people profess to be very religious, but they don't even seem to make the slightest attempt to do the basics of what their religion asks of them.

Piffling matters, observations and thoughts

Timothy Ang's doing history at Cambridge. So maybe my sister will get to teach him. Haha.

A lot of people on Friendster put their real photos up. I'm surprised as people are usually skittish about letting others see their true visage.

I heard the MMPR communicator ring tone play several times while in the MRT one day. Looks like there are other fans out there.

Some people think that only attachments greater than 1MB in size are considered "large". These people apparently have never had to deal with 700kb of attachments flooding their Hotmail Inboxes, almost filling them.

I was eating Walkers Sensations Four Cheese and Red Onion crisps which "combines smooth Red Leicester, full-bodied Cheddar, mellow Gouda and piquant Parmesan. Sweet, tangy red onion is added to make this a deliciously indulgent treat." Unfortunately, I've never tasted the first and can't remember what the third tastes like.

Current affairs

Some teachers attribute the bad english of JC students to their not studying Literature for their O Levels. Pffth. I didn't do Lit for my Os. All you need is adequate exposure and practice. I think the poor English is due more to the failure of our policy of bilingualism (which also contributes to a low level of Mandarin, albeit not as low as English).

"If you can die for your country, why can't you die for yourself?" - Rock Band "Hell On Earth" leader Billy Tourtelot. Indeed.

Why do hackers always hit opposition, anti-PAP and Civil Society websites, and not those of the PAP or government?


OB Markers

Someone was telling me that his female significant other, despite being Malay, dislikes Malays for the same reasons that most Singaporeans who dislike them do. I found this quite interesting, for they tend to be a close-knit lot. Also, it's high time that we face "sensitive" issues instead of clamming up and citing vague threats and concerns. Throwing a veil of silence over something and pretending that it does not exist does not make the problem go away - in fact it is merely a temporary escape, not a solution and meanwhile the problem will stew and grow. Indeed, the artificial silence may merely serve to emphasise the problem more: "It's like being overly polite to someone blind, disabled, etc. You both know he's blind, but you're making him feel worse by trying to be nice and "sensitive" and not talking about it". Imposing a blanket ban on dialogue and discourse regarding racial and religious matters does not make racists or fundamentalists any less prejudiced. Lacking a healthy outlet, such sentiments will fester.

The recent "shocking" study that showed primary school kids only mixed with members of their own race showed that decades of smothering all non-sanitised dialogue on racial issues and trying to force the races to mix does not increase racial understanding. There is a lack of statistical evidence, but from anecdotal evidence, I think it safe to conclude that, and I think Singaporeans will probably agree with me, despite the attempted social engineering, Singaporean society today is not a truly multi-racial one, though neither is it a pluralistic society a la Colonial Malaysia (but then take away government racial quotas on HDB flats and other such policies and we may lapse yet further). Most people have few friends of other races and racist talk and jokes continue to circulate like wildfire. Just because Singaporeans can't say these things publicly does not mean they don't in private, and indeed forbidden fruit is always sweeter. Seeing racially balanced groups of friends prancing about on television does not make people form similarly balanced groups in reality.

Perhaps our society just isn't mature enough to accept this level of healthy discourse, which is truly a pity.

"it IS true that singapore has experienced less racial clashes than neighbouring countries. and in major global events when race becomes
a sensitive issue, singaporeans have managed to stay indifferent, or at the very least, civil." True, but we are not, and never were, the only multi-racial society, and many of the rest are not in as much trouble as the government would have you believe would ensue with its heavy hand lifted.

Of course, all this is debatable, but we will never have hard data to evaluate and perform cost-benefit analysis, so.

In a similar vein, whenever calls go out to liberalise society, a chorus of voices always shouts in unison that our society is not "ready" for the said measures yet. Was Singapore in the 1960s ready for a multi-racial policy? Is our workforce today "ready" to accept CPF cuts? These policies were rammed down the throats of the populace without so much as a "if you please", so why can't they government do the right thing and liberalise society today? Is the spectre of economic or political catastrophe the only thing that can galvanise them?


Quotes:

You don't watch wrestling? [Me: No, my mental state has not degenerated to that level yet.] Oh my god. Your supersonic English

Japanese guys like to degrade Japanese girls. They like to make them pose in degrading positions.

Has Melvin gone back to bunk? [Me: No, he's still here.] He told me he wanted to book out. [Me: He doesn't like to book out. He likes to stay in bunk and eat instant noodles and sleep.] So that his tummy will get bigger and bigger.

Army trains you to eat fast then go back to bunk and sleep.

There are some people who spend 5 hours a day looking for new porn websites... I used to do that during my holidays. [Someone: That was before you discovered child porn. Just go to Kazaa.] **** also looks at child porn. [Someone: I only look, I don't collect. You have... how many gig?]

[Someone: Every site I visit is child porn.] That's because the only sites he visits are child porn ones.

Every new technology is used for child porn. World wide web... Gnutella... Kazaa.

[On child porn] How come I've never seen it? [Someone: That's because he only plays Neopets.]

Who's Duli Yang? [Me: Duli Yang, Maha Mulia, Seri Paduka] Ok, ok, I know.

[On Close Combat Training] Please ensure you have a good view of us jumping in the field and groping each other.

Eh look at the rape high school club. [Someone: Got rape primary school club or not?]

[On our proficiency test] Can moderate what. All fail, then moderate.

[Me: Is Wang trying to corrupt you?] Watersports.

Let's go and look for child porn now [Someone: Third on his list. After scat and watersports]
Straw Poll:

My sister claims that "ar-tic":

"its wrong lah.
duno what stupid dictionary you use.
its one of the most common singapore mistakes. like 'tew-tion'

also no one will understand u outside sgp if you say that. possibly only malay-sia, where they have v. similar mispronounciations"

But then this is the same person who claims "stoo-dent" is wrong and only "styudent" is correct, and that "mo-damn" (modem) is wrong and only "mo-derm" is right.

OTOH, my source says that: "ooh
semantic matter
the supreme authority on the topic (the OED)
claims that both ar-tic and arktic are both acceptable"


My brother in law recently very kindly lent me his MP3 player, a Frontier Labs Nex IIe. It's light and easy to upload files into. The earphones take some getting used to, as they clip onto the ears, but they offer vibrant sound which brings out the immediacy of some pieces. Earphones also make stereo effects more noticeable. I'm not an audiophile though, so I don't know how they truly compare. Pity it only came with a 128MB CF card (though I can use the one for my camera for this too), so I get sick of the songs quickly.

I bet he's lost the manual, though, so I might not discover some functions.


Seen today:

A woman driving a man. How rare

A 7-11 where one can top up cashcards. Except that you must use cash, and there's a 50 cents surcharge, which is very dumb.

Also, Tung Lok seems to be one of the few restaurants which has resisted the temptation to hire PRCs for its staff.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

On the off-chance any of my coursemates are reading this, please remember chris wang's birthday is 23 october (i think) ... do something nice for him / to him. Better yet, if you've got a gift idea and are looking for ppl to share a present contact me.

Andrew gan
Interesting stuff from Mike's List

Play the staring game, spot the differences between these 2 pictures game or Shoot Teddy Bears.

Extreme Pumpkin Carving

Count Sheep

Hold The Button for as long as you can (even more bo liao than the World Mouseclicking Competition)

Type upside down

WiFi - SM - device that shocks you whenever news of some tragedy is reported

CDs made from corn

Mouse that cleans your hand with light


Interesting stuff from Daypop and Stumbleupon

Vatican: condoms don't stop Aids

Music Label Cashes in by Sharing - A backlash against the evil RIAA

Teenager In Trouble In Inhaler Incident - Suspended for saving girlfriend's life by giving her a whiff of his asthma inhaler

Link to Ancient Rome

Agnosticism / Atheism - Skeptical Inquiry, Freethinking, & Religious Philosophy

Free Personality Tests

Calpundit: The New Model Republican Party - The true face of the Republicans (at least those in Texas). Among other things, their party platform for 2000 advocates striving till "abortion is completely outlawed, Social Security is abolished, the welfare state is completely rolled back, the book of Genesis is taught in science classes, and the federal income tax is abolished."

So what's their hang-up? - the American Teleservices Association, which opposes the National Do Not Call Registry, nonetheless itself dislikes getting unwanted calls from thousands of people. "The ATA received NO WARNING that it was going to get unwanted calls! Not only that, but these unwanted calls were an INCONVENIENCE for the ATA, and WASTED THE ATA'S TIME! I just hope nobody interrupted the ATA's dinner."

Opening a Window on North Korea's Horrors. Defectors Haunted by Guilt Over the Loved Ones Left Behind

Unintended Consequences: Five Years under the DMCA - the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Chills Free Expression and Scientific Research, Jeopardizes Fair Use, Impedes Competition and Innovation and Becomes All-Purpose Ban on Access To Computer Networks.

Study: Wrong impressions helped support Iraq war - 60 percent of Americans held at least one of the following views in polls reported between January and September:

1. U.S. forces found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq,
2. There's clear evidence that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein worked closely with the Sept. 11 terrorists.
3. People in foreign countries generally either backed the U.S.-led war or were evenly split between supporting and opposing it.

Extracts from Dude, Where's My Country, by Michael Moore

The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)

Students toil as Spyware Hunters

The fatal grandeur of the Golden Gate Bridge

2003 Rock Paper Scissors International Championships

Voice for Muslim women terrorised by their families

The Real Patriot Act - Imposing a tax of $1/gallon of petrol to finance Iraq's reconstruction, encourage conservation of oil, weaken OPEC and Wahhabi clerics and reduce the trade deficit? Simplistic, but some valid points are made.

Debunking Edward Said: Edward Said and the Saidists: or Third World Intellectual Terrorism by Ibn Warraq

Can use of Ecstacy cause fatal fever? - Apparently as of 2001, only 87 people had died due to Ecstacy, of the millions of who had used it. So much for mindless anti-drug propaganda.

Forbes.com: Is Sex Necessary? - So much for abstinence: Some studies seem to show that having sex even a few times a week is associated with or causes the following:

- Improved sense of smell
- Reduced risk of heart disease
- Weight loss, overall fitness
- Reduced depression
- Pain-relief
- Less-frequent colds and flu
- Better bladder control
- Better teeth: "Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest"
- A happier prostate? : "A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week."

So much for old fashioned morality. Also in the article: gender specific benefits and disadvantages (for men only)


The Mind of A Chinese Man

Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Ah, the mind of the Chinese...
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