When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, February 13, 2010

"Je ne peux pas coucher si je ne suis pas amoureuse... Mais tu sais je peux tomber amoureuse trois fois par jour"

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Man that is born of a woman
hath but a short time to live,
and is full of misery.
He cometh up, and is cut down like a flower;
he fleeth as it were a shadow,
and ne'er continueth in one stay.
"It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back." - Mick Jagger



"You're feelings are hurt. You've chosen to take offence at somebody else's words. So fucking what?

It's an offensive world we live in. Deal with it like an adult. You have not been physically harmed. Why should your offence be more important than someone else's freedom to express themselves?

So. Fucking. What?

Before you picket a theatre, write to your local paper, fire your AK-47 in the air, or call for someone's head on a plate, ask yourself this question. Can you give an honest and coherent answer, explaining why your personal hurt feelings take precedence over someone else's freedom?

Because you need to have an answer to this question. And it has to be a good one. Otherwise you will just be dismissed as an irrational, immature cry-baby with an inflated sense of the importance of your own sensibilities."

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

"I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth." - Carl Sandburg


The Wisdom of Life: Property, or What a Man Has.

"It is difficult, if not impossible, to define the limits which reason should impose on the desire for wealth; for there is no absolute or definite amount of wealth which will satisfy a man. The amount is always relative, that is to say, just so much as will maintain the proportion between what he wants and what he gets; for to measure a man’s happiness only by what he gets, and not also by what he expects to get, is as futile as to try and express a fraction which shall have a numerator but no denominator. A man never feels the loss of things which it never occurs to him to ask for; he is just as happy without them; whilst another, who may have a hundred times as much, feels miserable because he has not got the one thing he wants. In fact, here too, every man has an horizon of his own, and he will expect as much as he thinks it is possible for him to get... So it is that the vast possessions of the rich do not agitate the poor, and conversely, that a wealthy man is not consoled by all his wealth for the failure of his hopes. Riches, one may say, are like sea-water; the more you drink the thirstier you become; and the same is true of fame...

When we consider how full of needs the human race is, how its whole existence is based upon them, it is not a matter for surprise that wealth is held in more sincere esteem, nay, in greater honor, than anything else in the world; nor ought we to wonder that gain is made the only good of life, and everything that does not lead to it pushed aside or thrown overboard—philosophy, for instance, by those who profess it... Everything else can satisfy only one wish, one need: food is good only if you are hungry; wine, if you are able to enjoy it; drugs, if you are sick; fur for the winter; love for youth, and so on. These are all only relatively good, [Greek: agatha pros ti]. Money alone is absolutely good, because it is not only a concrete satisfaction of one need in particular; it is an abstract satisfaction of all...

To start life with just as much as will make one independent, that is, allow one to live comfortably without having to work—even if one has only just enough for oneself, not to speak of a family—is an advantage which cannot be over-estimated; for it means exemption and immunity from that chronic disease of penury, which fastens on the life of man like a plague; it is emancipation from that forced labor which is the natural lot of every mortal. Only under a favorable fate like this can a man be said to be born free, to be, in the proper sense of the word, sui juris, master of his own time and powers, and able to say every morning, This day is my own. And just for the same reason the difference between the man who has a hundred a year and the man who has a thousand, is infinitely smaller than the difference between the former and a man who has nothing at all. But inherited wealth reaches its utmost value when it falls to the individual endowed with mental powers of a high order, who is resolved to pursue a line of life not compatible with the making of money; for he is then doubly endowed by fate and can live for his genius; and he will pay his debt to mankind a hundred times, by achieving what no other could achieve, by producing some work which contributes to the general good, and redounds to the honor of humanity at large. Another, again, may use his wealth to further philanthropic schemes, and make himself well-deserving of his fellowmen. But a man who does none of these things, who does not even try to do them, who never attempts to learn the rudiments of any branch of knowledge so that he may at least do what he can towards promoting it—such a one, born as he is into riches, is a mere idler and thief of time, a contemptible fellow. He will not even be happy, because, in his case, exemption from need delivers him up to the other extreme of human suffering, boredom, which is such martyrdom to him, that he would have been better off if poverty had given him something to do. And as he is bored he is apt to be extravagant, and so lose the advantage of which he showed himself unworthy. Countless numbers of people find themselves in want, simply because, when they had money, they spent it only to get momentary relief from the feeling of boredom which oppressed them...

Wife and children I have not reckoned amongst a man’s possessions: he is rather in their possession"

--- Arthur Schopenhauer

His words on the rich being less extravagant than the poor, since they are accustomed to wealth and can't abide by losing it, don't ring true though.

Monday, February 08, 2010

"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens." - Robert Benchley


YouTube - Darth Vader Attack in LT8!!! - " During NUS SSA1201 lecture on the 30th October, 1400 to 1600, Darth Vader came with DEATH!! But thank goodness Jedi came to help! =D
Our lecturer, Alexius Pereira, just paused and drank water. Then continued. =.="

How to get pregnant from a blowjob - "Oral conception. Impregnation via the proximal gastrointestinal tract in a patient with an aplastic distal vagina. Case report... Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practiced fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarian section... A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate 1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances... The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception"

Conduct Unbecoming: Political correctness is over the top at my job. What can I do about it? - "Q: I have a problem with two of my bosses. One of them is an outspoken radical anarchist vegan ultra-feminist who refers to herself as a dyke. The other is just a feminist. At work, we have a "positive and progressive atmosphere" where what matters most about any type of interaction is "impact versus intent"... I was reprimanded once because my boss overheard my conversation with a co-worker about my girlfriend... She was disgusted that I was talking about my inappropriate and immoral relationship. She said that because I mentioned my "girlfriend," she could only assume I'm a pedophile, because a "girl" is a prepubescent woman... I was corrected for referring to one of our members as a "wonderful lady." It turns out lady is also sexist and classist. It can be hard to be productive when I'm always walking on eggshells
A: Your office sounds like as much fun as an impacted tooth. I don't see anything "positive and progressive" about older women with more power using the young male in the office as their personal piñata... You say you love what you do, but how can you when you're constantly under siege for the crime of having an Adam's apple?"

How scrabble has been hijacked by geeks (and why it's a four-letter fiasco) - "Those words! What's 'nye' for starters? Is that Aneurin Bevan, the Welsh politician, or Bill Nye, the U.S. TV host? A flock of pheasants, apparently. But there is no point in asking Richards or his rivals. They don't know. They hardly ever know. Knowing is not the point... Most of the [Scrabble] stars would not be George Eliot readers or, indeed, voracious readers of any kind. They are computer people, mathematicians, scientists, so the game they play is essentially a test of programming."

If Web Browsers Were Women - "Safari: She brings her iFriends with her without asking you when you invite her home
Internet Explorer: For most, she's the first woman they tried. She's really easy but can get you infected"

Women "lie, cheat and steal" - "Four out of ten (42%) would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, in spite of the wishes of their partner... One bizarre finding was that a third of women (33%) said they would stay with their husband if they found out he was a "secret transvestite", but only half that number (17%) would put up with him if he refused to wash"

Should Men Care That Male Birth Control Options Are Languishing? - "Warren Farrell... argues that men can become victims when, say, a woman in a committed relationship actively manipulates a man into having and raising children that the man wasn't ready for by "forgetting" to take birth control pills. And he points to evidence that suggests some 10 percent of babies turn out not to be the progeny of the expected father when random DNA tests are done, suggesting to Farrell that many men help raise and support children who are not actually theirs... There are women who seem to think men are Viagra-toting Neanderthals who have little commitment or tolerance for the intricacies of contraception... This post from the blog Feministing, for example, heaps scorn on a male Gizmodo poster who admits that the details of a recently announced experimental form of birth control—a radio-controlled sperm "tap"—make him queasy. That procedure, according to New Scientist, would involve injecting an 800-micron-long silicon polymer valve into a man's vas deferens with a hypodermic needle that would theoretically neutralize sperm by blocking it from passing. For the record, the description of that particular procedure makes me a bit queasy, too"

Mission Stencil Story - "The mission stencil story is an interactive, choose-your-own-adventure story that takes place on the sidewalks of the Mission district in San Francisco. It is told in a new medium of storytelling that uses spraypainted stencils connected to each other by arrows. The streetscape is used as sort of an illustration to accompany each piece of text. Its a love story with 2 characters who start in different locations"

Animator vs Animation

Asimov - The Relativity of Wrong - "The writer told me he was majoring in English literature, but felt he needed to teach me science... in every century people have thought they understood the universe at last, and in every century they were proved to be wrong. It follows that the one thing we can say about our modern "knowledge" is that it is wrong. The young man then quoted with approval what Socrates had said on learning that the Delphic oracle had proclaimed him the wisest man in Greece. "If I am the wisest man," said Socrates, "it is because I alone know that I know nothing." the implication was that I was very foolish because I was under the impression I knew a great deal... 'When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together.' The basic trouble, you see, is that people think that "right" and "wrong" are absolute; that everything that isn't perfectly and completely right is totally and equally wrong"
If you're not first, you're last. If you're not perfect, you're a hypocrite. No compromises, no fudges.

Game theory explains dinner-party dates. - "It is a truth universally acknowledged that the available, sociable, and genuinely attractive man is a character highly in demand in social settings... Shouldn't there be about as many highly eligible and appealing men as there are attractive, eligible women?... game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by "weak" bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the "strong" bidders will hold out for a really great deal... Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness"
Translation: women who think they can afford to be fussy end up with no one, and lesser-endowed women who are more proactive/less fussy get the good men

Sunday, February 07, 2010

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction." - Noelie Altito


Si j'avais un million de dollars et un an de temps libre, je ferais beaucoup de choses.

D'abord, je quitterais mon travail, parce que je n'aurais pas à travailler

Ensuite, je voyagerais dans le monde, et crierais << coucou tout le monde! >>

Et puis, d'autres hommes essayeraient de me tuer ou de me voler, et les femmes essayeraient de me séduire. Alors, it faudrait employer des gardes pour me protéger.

D'ailleurs, je chercherais des petites amies russes, parce qu'elles sont chaudes et elles ont un corps d'enfer.

Enfin, j'ouvrirais un magasin aux Etats-Unis, et deviendrais un émigré!
From September 21 2003's edition of The Beacon Journal:


A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died."

MFTTW: i think of you instinctively when i read such things
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