When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, November 08, 2008

"Nothing you can't spell will ever work." - Will Rogers


PHB: Does anyone know the root cause of our project's failure?

Dilbert: I'm a determinist, so I'd have to say the problem goes back to the origin of the universe.

PHB: Why are you like this?

Dilbert: My cubicle destroyed my illusion of free will.

PHB: Change is good.

Dilbert: Then why do most startups fail?

PHB: I only take questions at the end.

Someone: There's MORE?

Many of the comics I hosted on imageshack are gone. I should use a permanent image host for those.
"Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." - E. B. White


ImageMagick is image manipulation software using the command line. It must've started as a sick joke.

One of the nasty things about the HIV virus is that it messes with your testosterone level, so when you first get infected and are the most infectious, you'll be the most horny and thus more likely to transmit it.

Occasionally you will see in Singapore a car with a pseudo-EU license plate (examples). I saw one which was a FAIL - the letters representing the EU country were "GER". Presumably they wanted a German one, hurr hurr.

Someone translated "黄河风情" as "Amorous Feelings for the Yellow River". Sounds like a bad Google Translate job to me. I'd plump for "Feelings Invoked by the Yellow River" (a less literal translation would be "Yellow River Fantasy").

To apply for Web-Fax.com, which lets you send faxes online, you need to fax them an application. DUH

I got called Miss - by a mover with a ponytail. HAHA. Maybe it was because his hair wasn't as nice as mine.

I saw a girl pushing a wheelchair and an old woman walking beside her. On the wheelchair was shopping. Gah.

I saw a CHIJ girl whose nametag read 'Angel'. If I had the opportunity to name a kid, I'd choose some funky name like 'Cherubim'.

If you have Muslims on a winning F1 team (or indeed any event which involves Champagne), what happens? Sparkling grape juice?

Quickbites's Japanese ice milk tea tastes like teh peng. Ugh.

I'm told some tudung-ed women can stick their phones inside their veils and talk hands-free. That's a very useful trick.

"If there's one thing having been in RGS didn't teach me, it's that it's perfectly ok not to win an argument and to let others have the last word." (Hurr hurr)

I'm very sad that the US Presidential Election is over, since we won't hear conservatives making accusations of sexism (half) as often as liberals anymore.

HWMNBN, who's worked under women bosses for the first 5 years of his career, said all men and women he'd asked said they'd rather work with and under men than women.

Just as bilateral or multilateral trade pacts can result in trade diversion instead of trade creation (instead of trading with third parties, they trade with each other), I'm wondering if the EU labour market results in job diversion instead of job creation, since it's easier to hire someone from within the EU than a non-EU national/resident.
"The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum." - Havelock Ellis


Search Referrals:

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can malaysian marry a singaporean ? Chinese - No. Go marry an Indonesian.


"why you little..." TVMobile


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Unclog hdb Drain - Yahoo's search suggestions ("Explore concepts") had "lyrics", "downloads", "dogs" and "Linux" appended to the end of them.

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"unable to masturbate"+accident

"WHITE WOMEN engaged in interracial sex with ASIAN MEN" - PeachKabuki, PinkCrave and bordello4am.com use this line too. This came from Google Vietnam.

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woman headshave photo.simply marry.com - If you're getting married and you submit a photo of you with your head shaved, you must be very... odd.

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rjc Singapore test tube dildo - I've never heard of this variant, presumably because they're smarter (or less desperate) once they get to JC.

singapore "girls selling sex"

pig excretes 2% uric acid - One Yahoo search suggestion adds "Muslim" at the end. That is telling.

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"low tide smell" wine - People have refined tastes.

"toilet reservoir " leak problem leaking in the basement

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Photograph of the hybrid orchid Rafflesian - That would be quite bad.

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sex - Such a simple search is incredibly refreshing after all the kinky people about.

serangoon road + liquor shop

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before and after pictures of people on steroids

Google site search:
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Image search:
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unwholesome bdsm - Is there a wholesome sort?
priests using the urinals - Presumably they can't use the naughty ones in Germany and wherever the other one was.
down syndrome demotivational poster
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deagol - This got Hitler.
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knee-chest position girl - Apparently it's an enema position, as well as a way to inspect pre-pubescent girls for sexual abuse. The search came from Google.com in Japanese.
criminal walking .wmv - This got MFM and Acidflask in a Kampong.
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dark erotic art - This got Laocoön and His Sons. Funny, I never saw it that way...
woman rat transform - This got "Transformation indeed!"
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hitachi magic wand sex - I thought it was a substitute good, not a complementary good.
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zits and loss of influence in a relationship
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demotivational poster paranoia - There doesn't seem to be one. Yet. Though there's a Blitzkrieg one. Wth?!
pizza guy costume
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kirschtorte sex - Kirschtorte means "cherry pie" in German.
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(most pleasurable way for male masterbation)
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nail boob torture
french ads breasts - One other result was a French Fry commercial.
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clitoridectomy video - This got 3 shots of the Apache video.
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scat wedding
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girl chained to toilet
Swimmer Hazed
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Gay+cock - Is this so different from the straight equivalent?
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once you go black you instantly become a whore motivatioal - That's a new one.
"Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves." - Henri-Frédéric Amiel


The Milestones of Diabetes in Traditional Chinese Medicine

"The first Chinese doctors who clearly documented the sweet quality of the urine in a diabetic patient were the Zhen brothers (Quan Zhen and Liyan Zhen) in the Shui Dynasty. In their book Records of Proven Formulas of the Past and Present  (Gu Jin Yan Fang Lu) completed in 627 A.D, the authors said the patients would have intense thirst, emaciation, and enormous urine output. The urine could be oily or sometimes not and it tastes “as sweet as wheat”.  Many books and documentation written after the Zhens also talked about the sweetness of urine in patients of Xiao Ke, such as a few decades later in Tang dynasty, Langzhong Li in his Discussions on Xiao Ke Formulas (Xiao Ke Fang Lun) said “when a patient suffers from Xiao Ke, his urine’s always sweet.”  Xianke Zhao of Ming Dynasty in his book Differentiation and Analysis on the Characteristics of Medical Theory (Yi Guan, completed in 1687 A.D.) also mentioned “A patient of Xiao Ke will urinate a sheng (a Chinese unit similar to a liter) right after he drinks a sheng of water. If one tastes his urine, it should be sweet instead of salty.”  In England, in a remarkable work Pharmaceutice rationalis of Tomas Willis was published in Oxford in 1674. Willis described the sweetish flavor of urine in diabetes mellitus, a fact not recognized since the time of early Hindu medicine. He also associated diabetes with "good fellowship and guzzling down of ... wine." His observations initiated a new era of diabetes research in England. Matthew Dobson of England in 1776 evaporated diabetic urine and found substance like brown sugar in appearance and taste. He also found a sweetish taste of sugar in the blood of diabetics. In 1797, John Rollo also in England,  successfully treated a patient with a high fat and protein diet after observing that sugar in the urine increased after eating starchy food."

I'm assuming all these people actually tasted the urine.

"It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated." - Alec Bourne


u r wt u wr:

- 'Let me see that tootsie roll'
- 'Guaranteed 50-70% single'
- 'Wishes do come true (if you r hot)'
- 'I ♥ Disney cuties'
- 'Blondes don't pay cover' (She was a 100% black-haired Malay girl)
- 'Cute. Single. Rich. I'll settle for 2 out of 3'
- 'Nasty girl'
- 'Coffee, tea, or me? I'm as nice'
- 'Smile if you like me' (I smiled at the slogan. I'm not sure if she saw)
- 'No time for losers' (This was a 50+ year old holding hands with an ang moh)
- 'Enjoy the most gorgeous moment'
- 'We're sizzling, sassy, sensual * cool. We're S' with a C'
- 'Very huggable'
- 'I'm limited edition'
- 'If you're happy and you know it slap your friend'
- 'I only date rich boys'
- 'Smile if you like me'

- 'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder' (Guy)

People whose backs are so skinny you can see their spinal cords should not wear tops with low backs.

I was listening to a photography podcast and they were talking about lines, and how they direct the eye towards different parts of the photograph (or even out of it). And it occured to me that lines on clothing have the same effect. Sartorial choices can convey meaning, and you would have to be a feminist not to acknowledge that, especially considering that there's a whole industry dedicated to helping women tweak their sartorial signals.

Friday, November 07, 2008

"Children are all foreigners. We treat them as such." - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Baltics trip
Day 11 - 26th May - Tallinn, Estonia
(Part 3)

We then entered the Medieval torture instrument museum. Some of the instruments were old hat, but here are some of the more exotic/interesting ones:

Malayan Boot - Finally, something that wretched country has given the world!

Violin of Disgrace: "Used in public on certain women that had caused some kind of scandal, or perhaps that had been a little too ill tempered or quarrelsome"

Impalement. This makes that X-ray of the telephone pole up the rectum look like nothing.

The infamous Pear of Anguish!!!

Aside: I like this item from Salzburg

Mask of Humiliation

Mask of Infamy: "This mask, real work of art of austrian origin... Pillory is the most famous [public humiliation] and its disappearence should make one wonder if in the meantime has not fallen into disuse the common ethic..."

Virgin of Nuremberg: "It got its name from the fact that its exterior resembled a Bavarian girl" (it was probably not named by Bavarians)

Bell Collar. The artefact was quite ordinary but I liked the description (especially the last bit):

"In recent centuries it was considered very important to maintain a reputation within a community.
Many punishments for more minor offenses were often designed not to draw blood, but rather to expose the offender to a scornful public.
The most famous of these devices is without a doubt the Pillory, whose disappearance from modern times makes us reflect, even if at the same time ethics in general have taken a fall. The offender wore the collar for longer or shorter periods of time, depending on the crime committed, and was required to walk the streets of his city, the bell serving to inform all he passed that he had been found guilty of some kind of misconduct. As with the majority of metal cuffs, the rubbing of the metal against the skin often provoked death due to a form of blood poisoning."

Breast torner: "After making its four spikes white-hot the torturer tore the breasts into pieces"

Hand saw: "it probably inflicted the worst of deaths, even worst of stake... The position itself, favouring the flowing of the blood to the brain, kept the victim conscious foran incredible long time"

The Vigil or Guided Cradle: "According to its inventor, Ippolito Marsili,the "Vigil" should have signified a turning point in the history of torture; a modern system of obtaining a confession without causing undue bodily harm. There would be no broken vertebrae, no sprained ankles or strained joints; the only thing that would be strained were the victims’ nerves. The idea was to keep the accused awake as long as possible; it was basically a kind of sleep torture... [It] took on many forms during the Inquisition to include the procedure described in the drawing seen with the contraption. The victim was hoisted above the tip of the pyramid and then repeatedly lowered onto it. The pointed tip was made to penetrate the anus, or to poke the testicles or the tip of victim’s spine, or in the case of a female victim, the penetration would be vaginal. The pain was excruciating and would often cause the victim to pass out."


"In the past did not exist association as Amnesty International, and no one used to intervene in defence of those who fell in the hands of “justice”.
Therefore, the gaolers free-will was unlimited in choosing the most suitable means to get confession from the culprit.
It was, then, often used the gridirion.
The victim was tied up on the gridirion and then gradually “cooked” him in order to obtain a sincere repentance and confession that led to discovering other culprits.
And life goes on..."

We then went for dinner at Olde Hansa.

Random (?) building

At the third floor of the restaurant there was a woman with a jug of water who used it to wash guests' hands. Hah.

Olde Hansa Toilet

More from the toilet

I had foxberry juice, which tasted like cranberry.

Neptun's Feast: Salmon eggs, Andalusian fish, smoke-grilled salmon, herring, anchovies, quail eggs, Castle's fresh cheese, herb-bread with nuts, rye bread with smoked ham

The waitress's accent was a bit sing-song.

Smoked Elk. It was very tough - it could've been tree bark, and the herb taste was very strong (maybe Elk meat doesn't taste good so they must mask it). Hunters' food - tough and dry.

Eastern Lamb Stew ("Himalayan lamb dish with warming spices Mountain people style" on the menu)

Elk and Wild Boar with saffron reduction ("Burgermeister's game fillet" on the menu). The Elk had a very strong taste but it was okay.

Arabian Beef in Fig Sauce

The sides were lentils, barley with beans and a 'bean bag'.

The decor of the restaurant was more campy than Rozengral's in Riga, which more realistic and tasteful.


The Bear meat was tempting but we didn't plump for it

Check out the feasts (we didn't have 4 people so we couldn't have them)

Beer, foxberry juice and wine

Apple and honey under a crispy coat with almond milk


Holy Spirit Church

Road named "Saiakang"

Great Guild (housing Estonian History Museum)

Marzipan museum - there's a museum for everything!!!
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