When you can't live without bananas

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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

NS cut by 6 months for those on 30-month stint

So, the memo seen by my source was true (in part, at least)! Educated slaves now have to spend less time in full-time indenture. A most welcome step, this is.

Of course, vociferous complaints arise. As one person complained:

"fuck man.. they are cutting NS to 2years.. now that we finish serving.. what is this man?"

Or as our dear Chinx ranted in his quaint way: "RARARGGHHHH~!!!
FNARK!!!!!!
http://www.straitstimes.com.sg/latest/story/0,4390,256397,00.html?
I. HATE. YOU. ALL.
ARARAGHGAOGIHJAIOSFH!!!!" [Ed: Addendum - 20/06]

This is the sort of attitude - "since I had to suffer so much, other people must also suffer, or it will have been unfair to me!" that makes the human condition so miserable.

No matter when they had implemented the reduction, people who had finished their time in the not-so-gilded cage would have complained. What, then? Continue making everyone suffer more than the Powers That Be decree that they absolutely have to?

Bah.

For my part, I rejoice for my fellow slaves and slaves-to-be. Or the more educated ones, at least, for their education will no longer be held agains them. Though I will still mourn for their durance.


To Tasmania tomorrow!

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Quote of the Post: "Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability." - George Bernard Shaw

Random Playlist Song: Organ Concerto No. 2 In A Minor, BWV 593 (Transcr. Vivaldi's Concerto in A minor Op. 3, No. 8)

Richter manages to capture the energy and diversity of an orchestra in this transcription.

***

The Vultite Chicken

"The Deadly Serrated-beak Vultite Chicken (with fiercesome pecking crits) was perhaps the most feared weapon ever wielded. Fashioned from a pugnacious fowl who died in the cockfight ring, chemical and herb induced hyper-rigormortis allowed the wielder to use the chicken much like any other edged weapon. The chicken's beak was replaced with a finely crafted blade of purest vultite and tempered with heat and successive applications of the 'special recipe' (this ritual was commonly performed in the water closet). Held by the legs, the weapon could be used for both thrusting and slashing. Depending on the size of the chicken's head, the comb could also act as a knuckleguard of sorts. Most importantly, when sheathed, the protruding chicken-body made a nice party-gag."

!@#$%^&*()

***

"hehe... congrats on surviving the 2.5 yrs.. :) i know many who didnt..

oh.. some went into the mental institution. some awol'ed
some somehow got into some trouble and got jailed..
some shot themselves.. some shot others..

scary.."

Indeed.

***

The only cow in a small town in southern Minnesota stopped giving milk. The local townspeople did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Iowa for 800 dollars, or one from Michigan for 600 dollars.

Being frugal Swedes, naturally they bought the cow from Michigan. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

The townspeople decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like this wonderful Michigan cow. Then they would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would just move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his amorous quest.

The townspeople were very upset and decided to ask the retired professor who was very wise in such complicated matters just what they should do. They told the professor what was happening.

"When ever the bull approaches cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she moves to the back. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The retired professor thought about this for a minute and then asked, "Did you buy this cow from Michigan?"

The townspeople were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow.

"You are truly a wise professor," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Michigan?"

The professor answered sagely, "My wife is from Michigan."

***

Ronald Reagan, De-Mythologized - "I remember seeing a tape of Reagan speaking in California from that era. He said that he had heard that some asserted there was hunger in America. He said it sarcastically. He said, 'Sure there is; they're dieting!' or words to that effect. This handsome Hollywood millionnaire making fun of people so poor they sometimes went to bed hungry seemed to me monstrous. I remember his wealthy audience of suburbanites going wild with laughter and applause. I am still not entirely sure what was going on there. Did they think Harrington's and similar studies were lies? Did they blame the poor for being poor, and resent demands on them in the form of a few tax dollars, to address their hunger?"
More on Reagan. Now Dubya doesn't sound quite that bad.

Bush/Zombie Reagan 2004 - "Difficult times call for great leaders -- men of vision, strength and courage. Men like George W. Bush and the shambling, reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan. Welcome to the official Web site of Bush/Zombie Reagan 2004, Inc., home of the new Republican presidential ticket!"

Iraqi Gratitude - "The leaders of Iraq's new interim government have been explicit and gracious in their thanks, not that you've heard this from the U.S. media"
Do we hear much from the media about how Kim Jong Il is feted throughout North Korea, and how the Dear Leader is beloved where e'er he goes? Sheesh. Somehow, I'm not surprised that this came from the Wall Street Journal

Study finds dogs understand language - "German researchers have found a border collie named Rico who understands more than 200 words and can learn new ones as quickly as many children."
What about cats, I wonder?

***

Off to Melbourne and Tasmania! Be back on the 21st.
Quote of the Post: "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." - Leo J. Burke

Word of the day: "catamites"

Random Playlist Song: Rachmaninoff - Piano Concerto No 3 in D min, Op. 30 - II Intermezzo: Adagio

It may not be very tuneful, but at least it isn't harsh and dissonant like many of his pieces for piano.

***

Packing is so much easier when my mother isn't involved.

***

Seetoh went back to camp yesterday, and though the proper people weren't around, he was able to cajole them into giving him his IC. Good for him :)

***

Men are less endeared by the "playing hard to get" routine in a prospective mate than women are.

The smell of freshly baked cinnamon buns or pumpkin pie is more likely to arouse a man than Chanel No. 5.

According to some studies, up to 30% of kids are not the biological offspring of the man who is believed to be their father.

Random Facts

***

"LOL
Lots of Laugh or Laughing Out Loud. This abbreviation indicates something is really funny. Unfortunately although very common, that term became uncool a long long long time ago. Other alternatives that you can use instead are "hehehehe" or "hahahaha" which aren't the best but are more hip. ROFL should also be avoided to appear cool."

"hehehehe"

***

One of the strangest paragraphs in Gamebook history:

"You are indeed right to shake at the sight of the Minotaur, for, after all, your brother, a distant relative of the beast, was not spared its wrath. Theseus was probably in fact only your half-brother (have 1 Shame point), with Poseidon as his true father. Although the origins of the bull which sired the Minotaur are shrouded in sea-spray, according to the most reputable sources Poseidon had a hand in its conception. The bull ravished Minos' wife, Pasiphae, who gave birth to the Minotaur. Theseus was thus the half-uncle of the Minotaur. For unravelling the genealogical complexities of the situation at such a stressful moment, have 3 Honour points, and return to 394."

(The Cretan Chronicles, Book 2 - At the Court of King Minos)

***

fruit fly fight club - "Researchers bet on fruit fly fights to expose underlying biology of aggression. Round by round, move by move, video replay of 75 fruit fly fights reveals statistically significant patterns of normal fighting behavior"

Vanessa Tiegs ::: Menstrual Paintings Journal - Don't look at me. I didn't unearth this. How paintings containing menstrual blood can be "personal spiritual practice", I have no idea.

Suzhou: Sino-Singapore bid fails test - "This proves that being able to speak the same language and having an ethnic affinity with the Chinese does not necessarily mean that Singaporean investors have an advantage over Western investors operating in China in the areas of communicating with and understanding their Chinese counterparts"
"Learning Chinese is important so you can do business in China!!!" What hogwash.

Not Even a Hedgehog - The stupidity of Ronald Reagan: 'Ronald Reagan claimed that the Russian language had no word for "freedom." (The word is "svoboda"; it's quite well attested in Russian literature.) Ronald Reagan said that intercontinental ballistic missiles (not that there are any non-ballistic missiles—a corruption of language that isn't his fault) could be recalled once launched. Ronald Reagan said that he sought a "Star Wars" defense only in order to share the technology with the tyrants of the U.S.S.R. Ronald Reagan professed to be annoyed when people called it "Star Wars," even though he had ended his speech on the subject with the lame quip, "May the force be with you." Ronald Reagan used to alarm his Soviet counterparts by saying that surely they'd both unite against an invasion from Mars. Ronald Reagan used to alarm other constituencies by speaking freely about the "End Times" foreshadowed in the Bible. In the Oval Office, Ronald Reagan told Yitzhak Shamir and Simon Wiesenthal, on two separate occasions, that he himself had assisted personally at the liberation of the Nazi death camps.'
Word of the day: "morganatic."

Just returned from watching The Punisher. Now, although I expected the movie to be eviscerated by the censors, I was unprepared for the sheer editing carnage that I beheld - at least half the conversations had abrupt pauses/skips, the coup the grace delivered by the Punisher to the last level boss at the end was cut, etc etc. Interestingly enough, at least two lines were cut for what seems to be sociopolitical reasons:

Witchdoctor: "Vaya con Dios, Castle. Go with God."
Punisher: "God's going to sit this one out" (italics represent the censored line)

Punisher in a soliloquy towards the end: "In certain extreme situations the law is inadequate.In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. " (italics represent the censored line)

And below is the Ministry of Information and Arts final insult to the viewers' intelligence.

*SPOILER ALERT* (although frankly anyone with half a brain should be able to guess every nuance of the plot and ending before even stepping into the cinema)

At the end, Frank Castle, the Punisher, is standing on a bridge staring into the distance, having completed a soliloquy on his ongoing quest to continue taking out the scum of the earth. Screen fades.

Before the credits roll, a caption appears, in a horribly cheapo looking font.

"Later, Frank Castle was arrested and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole."

The sentence was repeated below in Malay.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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