"The happiest place on earth"

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Saturday, January 18, 2003

Things you realise while waiting for PRLR:

Hamtaro is disgusting.

Medabots is so obviously a Pokemon clone.
Piqua's library has to flesh out its own Web site

Flesh director gets the skinny directly from Net Nanny

PIQUA | For a while, there was no Flesh in the Flesh Public Library.

Library Director James Oda earlier this month attempted to access the library's new Web site - www.fleshpublic.lib.oh.us - to show it off for the library staff. After three months of work by the staff, Oda was justifiably proud of the site. Unfortunately, the library computer denied him access.

"There must be a glitch in the system," Oda said as he tried again.

Again, he was denied access. It was then that Oda realized what had happened.

"We banned ourselves," he said Thursday.

Oda said he never gave much thought to the library's name - named 70 years ago for businessman Leo Flesh, who donated the money for the library's current location. But Net Nanny, a filter the library uses on all the children's department computers, did not care much for "flesh" linked to "public."

"Growing up in Piqua, I don't think we give it much thought," Oda said. "But when I was in the service, my Mom - who worked at the library at the time - used to send care packages in these little plastic bags that said 'Flesh Public Library.' There was a whole group of Army guys who had a lot of fun with that."

Fortunately, a change in the address - www.piqua.lib.oh.us - has allowed the library to access its own site.

Well done, dumb filters. Why not get a better filter program?
I think I know why I was feeling so lousy this week.

Yesterday I had a 38.6 degree fever, with a 132 beats/min pulse rate. Ugh. Diagnosis: Viral Fever.

Why couldn't I have gotten it a day earlier?

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

The planets must be in disharmony. The constellations are not aligned.

My bio-rhythms are at a low ebb today.

In short, I feel lousy.

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Whee. I'm getting into the mood again.

More referrals:

"acjc rumours" - Ooo. That the school is going bankrupt? That they are banning hot socks? Oh, the horror!

""chinese high school" blogspot.com gay" - Hahahahaha.

"porn pictures of Mrs Tan Guat Beng" - Wth?! People are searching for Singaporean porn of named people now? Or maybe it's blackmail.

"raffles institution Prefects" - Hrm. Just Wong is one.

"scgs porn" - Gah. They'd have better luck on Kazaa. Or Kazaa Lite 2.02 with K++! You can find *anything* there.

[A simple search for scgs there finds this:

"Secondary school girl of the Singapore Chinese Girls' School stripping for her school mates during their private party during the school holidays. Best Singapore school girl picture ever. Download and spread it! It's one of the finest Singapore school girl bodys around."

Disturbing. Very disturbing.]

"maznah mohamad" - Ah, the enlightened guy whom some Indonesian radical clerics are trying to kill. Hurrah.

"eminem singapore ndp" - I don't see the connection, really. Or maybe they're bringing him in this year? Nah, unwholesome. He doesn't represent, ahem, "Asian Values".

"sexy tudung girls" - Most of them are quite ugly, really. Anyway the tudung is to stop you ogling at them, you perv.

"ncc drill malay commands" - Hmmph. There's absolutely no reason why they should be in Malay. I remember how refreshing it was, watching the 1997 Hong Kong handover ceremony, to hear drill commands that I actually *understood*. What a novely. Maybe they're in Malay precisely because most of us cannot understand Malay, and this will let us put some mental distance between it and the inner sanctums of our minds.

"tekong bmt" - If you're going in, I'd say good luck to you.

"exploitative competition example cat vs. dog" - ???

"pso hentai" - Phantasy Star Online is a good, clean, family game as far as I know. Anyhow how do you hack the platform it runs on?

"pictures of wife sodomise husband" - ... Kinky action with strap ons. Yeh.

"setting up a haagan dazs franchise" - ?!

"naughty cadet marching songs" - They are all naughty. Maybe I should compile a list one day. I hope they are all Unclassified.

"TOPO tekong" - Have fun wandering there. Horlan / Holland (however you spell it) Liao!

"masterbate with household items" - I hope the bleach burns away your skin.

"neutrogena haram" - Goodness. Now skin products are haram too? It's not like they are consumed or ingested.

"ACJC porn" - Try Kazaa.

"sungei gedong camp signal batallion" - Military secrets!

"Nanyang Girls High School yearbook" - Why would anyone want to scan this in?

"downgrade diseases saf" - AIDS. Hepatitis B. Herpes. Diabetes. Have fun getting them. I recommend you not try.

"fuck dave pelzer" - Someone doesn't like uplifting stories I see :)

"bronco attc" - Does Singapore Technologies sell their stuff to foreign countries, even? I suppose they do, for that's what their shiny brochure is for.

"rjc creative writing club" - Ms Ho Poh Fun should really get it renamed the "Poetry Writing Club".

PULHEEMs - Here's a good PULHEEMS to have: P:3 U:3 L:3 H:3 E:3/A E:3/A M:3 S:3 (I'm conjecturing about the values for EE, though).

In other news, these are the all time top queries on my Picosearch search box:

1. neopets 11
2. stephen hand 7
3. manual, return to krondor 7
4. redoxon 6
5. the secret page 6
6. a03 5
7. eugene 5
8. sister 5
9. flesh parade 4
10. darksun shatterd land 4
11. michael 4
12. dipo coins 4
13. choral speaking 4
14. portugal roman coins 4
15. managing written mistakes 4
16. pics 3
17. star control 2 3
18. singing chickens 3
19. kool aid bottles 3
20. queen rania 3
One of my theories is what entering JC, or the anticipation of such, does to girls. Most amusing and intriguing. Mmm.

I wonder why double standards are so rampant. Crystal put her arm around Jane's neck, so I put mine around Andrew, and the two of them giggled and looked into a corner, and Kairen stood up and pretended to walk off.

Male footwear (for what it's worth) has come of age! There's a shop dedicated to it now - "Beetle Bug".

There was this game at Cineleisure's E-Zone. "Downhill Bikers". Ugh, it's worse than being on an exercise bike for 20 minutes. After a short game, I had a serious case of vertigo, and the stupid pedals were so hard to grip onto and kept knocking me.

Andrew plays Dance Dance Revolution much better when he has competition. The first time, when "single player" mode was selected, he lost very quickly, but when he faced Crystal, he managed to trounce her soundly. I was invited to join in, but as always, I decided that I wouldn't betray my principles and play DDR!

There were these 4 Malay girls - at least I think they were girls: 2 of them were for sure, the third was probably a girl, and we conjectured the last was one from her shrieking - playing Air Hockey at the "Hockey Stadium" table, and the 2 more female looking ones shrieked whenever they scored, or the opposing side scored. Weird. Interestingly, none of the 4 were in tudungs, nor did I see any tudungs at E-zone or at "Funkypool". I guess they're un-Islamic.

I *did* saw a tudung at Cheers mini-mart downstairs though, worn by a young pre-pubescent girl. Except that she was using a tablecloth as one! I felt so sorry for her, I almost wanted to buy her a proper one.


[On the Anglo-Chinese School Song] It's like a nursery rhyme... In days of yore oldham came and set up a farm or something.

[On a drawing at "Annex" in the Heeren] Any cool guys that is interested in a young lian, pls call or email mi asap (If there are any, are, me)

[On a shirt] There's no price tag. I assume it's free.

My mother borrowed "Everything's Eventual" by Stephen King, a collection of 14 short stories, for me last week. All of the stories are, to a different extent, disturbing. *shudder*

I was reading through my past (school)work - at least what I have in digital format, considering what (if any) to post for the perusal of all and sundry. Most of it sent shudders down my spine and caused me to feel an itching sensation on the nape of my neck.

I think I write badly - very badly - when I am forced to do something that I do not want to do.

Case study:

"Poem on Digestion

Food I am
Eaten I am
Digested I am
Destroyed up I am

In the mouth acted on I am
My starch changed to maltose
By the amylase in the saliva
Luckily, not all is taken

Into that burning, acidic place the stomach, I go.
Renin, Pepsin.
Changing my protein to peptides
And my caseinogen to casein

Past the liver I go.
Am I safe?
No! The bile spurts out to
Emulsify my fats.

Broken, I pass the pancreas.
Am I safe? Of course not.
What starch left is now maltose,
Due to the Amylase.

My fats split into fatty acids and glycerol
I see something else. Will it attack me?
No. The trypsinogen will not destroy more of me.
I am glad.

A long tube next.
The small intestine.
Maltase, lactase, sucrase.
All my sugars now glucose.

Enterokinase, Evepsin, Lipase.
My proteins and peptides now amino acids.
My remaining fats now fatty acids and glycerol.
To add insult to injury, the trypsinogen is now trysin, attacking me.

Lastly, the end?
No. I am shrivelled up.
To be like a raisin.
By the rectum.

My fate I have told.
Follow me not.
You will end up like me.
Broken, dried up, dead."

--- Some "creative" assignment for Biology done in Secondary 3 (c. End April, 1998)

*runs into a corner to hide*

I hope juwel is happy at my self-abasement. You can feel really good about yourself now!

On a new principal (NOT of ACJC):

"it's quite amusing to see how they demand us that the guys cut so short their hair that it almost becomes crew, girls having to wear distasteful socks and the lamest ever ban on ankle socks. this isn't a madrasah, man! we want to see more legs! but the sad fact is that there isn't much of "legs" to be see in my school. i've got this friend who wears really short a skirt to college almost everyday, and when questioned told me that her skirt "shrank" after washing (yeah like right and why doesn't my school pants shrink as well) but the butt of all jokes is that she's got a really unsightly face which led to a couple of mates labelling the short skirt as nothing but a smokescreen to draw attention away from her face. hah, evil."

"somewhere in acjc several girls go missing from lecture. led of course by the laziest of laziest vivien "can't even take a moment standing" t (who so happens to my girlfriend, haha.) having since graduated, her legacy still lives on..."
Totally disparate ramblings:

Adrian wanted to play with my lavender bear. Heh heh.

Apparently haircuts are free in camp. I've been cheated. Twice. Gah.

The notice regarding the photocopying machine in the Medical Centre is stuck onto the shredder. I hope no one mistakes one for the other :)

It is somewhat flattering to have one's talents and abilities (for what little they are) appreciated and used, but it is sometimes irritating to have to write or rewrite things for others.

Yong Siang got very excited when he saw my "Juice It" grapefruit and green tomato gel, and he started asking me what effects it had on the skin. I am amused :)

We were removing our window panes to clean them, and Boon Wei got a large corner of one chipped off, and Adrian dropped one and it shattered. Penny wise, pound foolish we are. Oh well.

I saw Khairuldin and Wenda when I went to Safti for physiotherapy. They're stayout. Good for them. Gah. Their complex is big, and they've a hydrotherapy room which can be used as a pretty mean Jacuzzi, I wager. And while I was trying to stop the stupid wobble board from touching the floor, all Seetoh had to do was let the ultrasound machine heal his knee. Gah.

I got zapped by the door handle at E-mart. Gah. Anyhow, I've a new Evil Scheme (TM) for using up credit. Toilet paper is a credit item too, so all we have to do is buy 10,000 rolls of it to sell on the black market. Beats Kiwi.

We were sitting in the treatment room and Jason started mouthing lyrics to some pop song. As he mouthed them, he opened his legs and straddled my right knee, whereupon I adroitly jerked my knee in a general upward direction. Aww.

Yiliang and Tse Ming are clearing leave for ORD. I'll miss the bantering, the antics and them in general. The wheel of time turns relentless.

It's a small world. Soh Choon Seng is in Sungei Gedong also, and I met him at the bus stop wearing a T-Shirt parodying a Visa ad - it said "Vagina Accepted Here" and had a Visa logo in the centre. He's mellowed somewhat since BMT.

Some people are too used to procedure - during Games Day today one person wrote a score wrongly on the big scoreboard, which is surfaced with plastic and written on with a whiteboard marker. The person cancelled the score and counter signed. Oh well :)


[Me on my music tastes: Different people like different things, let's just leave it at that. For example, I don't like Korean Pop] [Someone: I also don't like Korean Pop.] I don't like Korean Pop, but I like Korean Girls.

[On sggirls.com] Quite cool. A lot of my friends there. [Me: You searched for 'acjc girls'?] I clicked 'school uniform', looked for my school. Eh? I know her. I know her. You know how they get there? [Me: They scan in the yearbook.] Fuck lar, damn cheapo.

[On sggirls.com] A lot of AC girls. All cannot make it. RJ girls are better, especially your year.

[On me lying on the floor] See, when Tang is not around this is life in the Medical Centre. Life should be like that.

[On "Agagooga" and "N!ôrlãn" being from Africa] You like African girls ah? [Someone else: No, he likes Asian Prince]

[On being strapped up for an ECG] You want [the] white candle or [the] red candle?

[On Games Day] Okay, we will play a game - hide and seek. Then who shall be the catcher? CSM.

I saw this Indian guy at a bus stop on Clemenceau Avenue. He looked like a cleaner, but he was wearing a RI PE T-Shirt. Eh?

For various reasons, I have decided to close the debate I was having with The Associate. Among them: It's impossible to argue because of the surfeit of evidence, for with every anecdote I related, he could come up with one illustrating the opposite point, the issue, some of the points and arguments were subjective, contentious, ambiguous and nebulous, it is impossible to ascribe blame to any few factors when the causes are so hard to pin down, and to quantify the impact of various factors and compare them with another situation as everything is relative, and most importantly, I realised the futility of arguing with Him when he's determined to win an argument for his resources are infinite and his mental capacity of such a depth and breadth that mine pales in comparison.
I was gallivanting with Yisa, dropping dry comments every now and then in Kinokuniya, when I decided to go meet the 2Lers.

They were at Breeks again. I think we've gone there before. Maybe they like the food there a lot. When I arrived, they threw me this blue women's top that Junxian had gotten free with some purchase. It's rather tight. Ahem :)

Yong Lin's grown his hair long too - now he looks like Abdul Kalam, the President of India, with the way his locks curl.

Actually, a better picture can be found at http://atomoikane.homeip.net/.../Image54.html. Obviously, he's not the one in a mini-skirt.

Yaoxian was showing off 3 albums of pictures he took of some Singapore Cosplay (Costume Play - another weird Japanese thing involving dressing up as characters from Anime, Hentai etc) that took place at Suntec City last year. It's really freaky to see teenage school girls and school boys (mostly the schoolgirls, though, somehow) dressing up as. Erm. Things. At least there weren't many lians or bengs.


I pulled Kairen's choker from the nape of his neck and he slapped me on my right breast, and I yelped. Bah.

Apparently Yaodong went to crash RJ's O Nite :0


Oh my god, Gabriel, you're a woman. You've no Adam's Apple

[On a picture of a Cosplay Convention] The costume is nice. The girl is ugly.

This song is dedicated to Screwed Up Girl :)

They laugh at me, these fellows, just because I am small.
They laugh at me because I'm not a hundred feet tall.
I tell 'em there's a lot to learn here on the ground.
The world is big but little people turn it around.

A worm can roll a stone,
A bee can sting a bear,
A fly can fly around Versailles
'Cos flies don't care!
A sparrow in a hat can make a happy home,
A flea can bite the bottom of the Pope in Rome!

Goliath was a bruiser who was as tall as the sky,
but David threw a right and gave him one in the eye.
I've never read the Bible but I know that it's true
It only comes to show what little people can do!

A worm can roll a stone,
A bee can sting a bear,
A fly can fly around Versailles
'Cos flies don't care!
A sparrow in a hat can make a happy home,
A flea can bite the bottom of the Pope in Rome!

So listen here, professor,
With your head in the cloud.
It's often kinds useful
To get lost in a crowd!
So keep your universities,
I don’t give a damn.
For better or for worse,
It is the way that I am!

Be careful how you go,
'Cos little people grow...

And little people know,
When little people fight,
We may look easy pickings
But we got some bite!
So never kick a dog
Because it’s just a pup!
You better run for cover
When the pup grows up!
And we’ll fight like twenty armies,
And we won’t give up!

A worm can roll a stone,
A bee can sting a bear.
A fly can fly around Versailles
'Cos flies don't care!
A sparrow in a hat can make a happy home.
A flea can bite the bottom of the Pope in Rome!
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