When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, March 01, 2003


I just realised the music they used at SAFISAM is from Battlestar Galactica. (Though I've no idea what that is)


Cheapskate SAF people.


Reality Show Parody

Friday, February 28, 2003

I think that the story is bad, especially for a Gaiman one.

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Collection of Right Wing Essays - The logic is often appalling and blatantly obvious points are conveniently ignored or skimmed over. The wonders of partisan writing.

Disturbing Neil Gaiman story Geraldine just read me - Babycakes. Why do people like to read his work? If all of it is similarly disturbing... *shudder*
The Associate returns, finally clambering out the hole that he has been cowering in all these weeks. Hurrah.


Wizard plans big ad campaign for Fantasy series

THE FIGHTING FANTASY series of adventure game books popular in the 1980s, is to be brought to a new generation of adolescent boys by its new publisher, Wizard Books, the children�s imprint of Icon Books which plans a major ad campaign for next Christmas. Andrew Furlow, Marketing Manager at Icon, says: �This is a major campaign, and we want to get everyone involved in it early on, because it�s all about big head office orders and, as we know, head offices in large companies have to order things months ahead.�
Publishing Manager Simon Flynn brought the series to Wizard in June last year after contacting the co-authors and co-creators of the Fighting Fantasy books, Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone. Originally published by Puffin, the rights had reverted to Jackson and Livingstone. Flynn and Peter Pugh, MD of Icon, met them and �hammered out a deal�.
Since then, Wizard has sold over 200,000 copies worldwide, and now aims to improve on that. �Of course, it�s been very successful for us, but we feel the potential is exponentially greater than this,� says Furlow.
Wizard�s new �250,000 campaign will be spearheaded by a 30-second TV advertisement to be shown over five weeks, starting in November. Furlow says: �The premise is that Fighting Fantasy takes you away from the world of school and homework into a world of excitement and fantasy. The underlying idea being that even in this world of computer games and television, it�s books that really fire the imagination.� Wizard will also be setting up a Fighting Fantasy website, as well as a fan club which will be advertised in the books.
Wizard plans to make thorough preparations for the demand that is expected to result from the campaign. �We�re putting together lots of packs, gift sets, boxed sets, and all sorts of add-ons that fans can get hold of. We�re very much promoting the series as a brand.� Livingstone, currently Creative Director at computer games company Eidos, commented: �It�s fantastic that Fighting Fantasy has been relaunched. It�s a very bold move that Wizard has made. Steve and I are very enthusiastic.� Jackson agreed: �Icon has really brought the look of the books into the 21st century. I think it�s important to bring the covers up to date, and that�s been done.�

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Something He Who Must Not Be Named insisted I post ; I don't understand Malay, so you can have fun puzzling this out. Assuming my OCR added no errors. He says it's something along the lines of: "Headline: Proposal to use Kongming Lanterns as anti-aircraft weapons. (Kongming Lanterns are those glowing hot air balloon/lanterns they raise during..erm..some festival.... yeah, i'm culturally ignorant too...)"

Syor Iraq guna tanglung Kongming halang serangan AS

Saudara Pengarang, SAYA mencadangkan supaya rakyat Iraq meng-gunakan tanglung Kong-ming sebagai senjata bagi menghalang jet-jet peju-ang Amerika Syarikat (AS) daripada menyerang negara mereka.

Sekiranya besar tang-lung Kongming holeh naik tinggi ke udara dan meng-akibatkan kemalangan pe-sawat jet, bolehlah Iraq mengggunakan alat yang mudah ini untuk menang-kis serangan AS.

Saya pasti dengan cara ini sahaja jet jet pejuang AS akan lakut dan boleh dihalang daripada melan-carkan serangan udara se-cara besar-besaran seba-gaimana yang dilakukan ke atas bumi Afghanistan dulu.

Saya percaya dengan kuasa jet-jet pejuang yang mempunyai daya sedutan udara yang lebih kuat akan menyedut tanglung Kongming ke dalam enjin.

Tenaga jurulatih boleh dihantar dari Pulau Pi-nang ke Iraq bagi menga-jar rakynt negara itu mele-paskan seberapa banyak tanglung ke ruang udara-nya apabila tiba ketika yang sesuai. Rakyat Iraq boleh membuat tanglung yang lebih besar supaya naik lebih tinggi dan terapung lebih lama.

Kos membuat tanglung ini amat murah jika diban-dingkan dengan lain-lain senjata penangkis serang-an udara. Lagipun senjata tanglung ini tidak akan dibantah oleh Majlis Kese-lamatan PBB.

Saya juga menge-syorkan namanya diubah daripada tanglung Kong-ming kepada tanglung Saddam Hussein. - AH-MAD ADAM. Jasin, Me-laka.

Ties, dress codes and sexual discrimination

A blow for Men's Lib!

Sex row over tie rule

A man who was ordered to wear a shirt and tie at work is a victim of sexual discrimination, an employment tribunal has been told.

A dress code brought in by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) stipulated that men working in Jobcentre Plus offices had to wear a collar and tie to work - but set no similar stipulation for women.

Now Matthew Thompson, an administrative assistant at Jobcentre Plus in Stockport, Greater Manchester, has taken a test case against the DWP complaining of sexual discrimination.

Women in his office were allowed to wear T-shirts and on one occasion, one of his female colleagues even wore a football shirt without facing disciplinary action, Mr Thompson told the tribunal in Manchester.

"It may not be the convention for women to wear a collar and tie but the point I am making is that a similar standard of business dress is not applied to women as it is to myself," he said.

"Women are allowed to wear T-shirts, they have logos on the T-shirts, and on at least one occasion they have worn football tops," he added.

Before the hearing, Mr Thompson said he seldom came into contact with the public.

He added: "My duties are post sorting, distributing computer printouts, photocopying and issuing documents internally and through the post to customers.

"Women are not required to wear any specified items of clothing. The dress standard makes no sense.

"Why should I be threatened with the sack if I do not wear a tie?"

Mr Thompson's case is being backed by the Public and Commercial Services union, which has another 39 cases ready to be followed up.

National officer David Burke said Jobcentre Plus workers faced fines of up to 10% of their salary as well as dismissal for refusing to conform to the dress code.

He said: "The code is draconian and unreasonable."

A spokeswoman for the Department for Work and Pensions said the dress code was part of a drive to provide improved services to the public.

"It puts us on a level with banks and building societies," she added.

The hearing continues.

Mr Thompson's case is being heard by an employment tribunal

"Why should I be threatened with the sack if I do not wear a tie?" - Matthew Thompson

Probably the most insightful reader comment (a testament to the sad society we live in):

The shirt-and-tie rule for men certainly is sexist but because it's not women who are being discriminated against, nothing will change.
Russ, Wales

Ed: Additional keywords - kilt (for some reason I thought he wore a kilt to protest - I must be mixing this up with another case), "football jersey" (they are not called that in this article for some reason)

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Freedom is a hairy body

February 24 2003

What is it, do you suppose, that marks out modern women from our 19th-century sisters who were trussed up in bodices and Sunday bonnets?

You may respond that we have the vote, or perhaps equal rights and pay. You may say that we are free to chair the board or wear the trousers. Yet you would probably overlook a key difference between us: that we, 21st-century women, spend a hellish amount of time, money and effort on depilation. And they? They walked the planet with unmown shins and bushy armpits, strangers to their husbands' cut-throat razor.

I know this because the producers of the recent British TV drama Sons and Lovers took such pains to achieve period authenticity that actresses were forbidden to remove any body hair in preparation for their roles. Women didn't depilate in late-Victorian England. In one hour of Sons and Lovers, there were nine explicit sex scenes involving full-frontal nudity - and all of it filmed without recourse to hair remover. If this sends a shudder down your spine, you're not alone. After all, it has somehow become accepted that women should be bald from the forehead down, save for a mild eruption at pubic level - and only then if it's kept as trim as a well-groomed box hedge.

The problem is, that's not how we are built. Whisper it softly, but most of us have bristling knees, armpits and shins. Some of us even have moustaches. You wouldn't know it, though, for we spend great amounts of time perpetuating the myth that we're as smooth as eggs. And why? You might hate the bitter truth, but it has everything to do with the fact that men prefer us that way. If that's the case, surely this is something we should have overcome by now - in the same way that we have ditched eyelash fluttering and corsetry.

While women have won many battles since D.H. Lawrence penned his opus, depilation is the battle that liberation lost. To my shame, I am among the worst serial depilators. By recent calculation, I have spent on $7000 waxing in the past decade. I'm a junkie for the well-marketed arsenal of hair-nixing weapons, each one more ludicrous and time-consuming than the last.

My favourite is the Epilady - a hand-held device that rips out hair, follicle by follicle. If you haven't tried it, it's similar to poking yourself in the eye with a toothpick. Then there's electrolysis. This uses a current to electrocute the buggers, eliciting packets of vicious pain.

Even the mild depilatory options are obnoxious: what woman doesn't abhor the eggy smell of depilatory cream, the searing of a blunt razor dragged up her shin bone, the embarrassment of opening the door to the postman with creme bleach still clinging to her upper lip?

Perversely, the most up-to-date methods of depilation are the most torturous, involving the kind of pain once lavished on the village witch.

Chief among these is the Brazilian bikini wax, which was surely developed in Hades, but (get this) has actually received good press from the world's ditzy beauty editors. Not only is it a humbling and hideous experience, during which you proffer your undercarriage to an unknown shop girl, it also hurts like bejaysus.

Its sole benefit is that it allows you to look nice in a thong, especially when bending over to lace up your espadrilles. To all Brazilian devotees, three questions: how much time do you spend gazing at your own perineum? Does it need to be bald? Are you mad as a frog?

So why do we do it? Men wouldn't. Men generally don't. And that, in part, is the answer. In her study on the relationship between a woman's politics and sexual orientation and the shaving of her legs and underarms, Dr Susan Basow, professor of psychology at Pennsylvania's Lafayette College, found thatmost women who did not shave their legs were identified as "very strong feminists and/or as not exclusively heterosexual", and the major reason they did not shave was for political reasons.

However, 81 per cent of the women surveyed shaved their legs and/or underarms on a regular basis. They identified strongly with their own heterosexuality, suggesting that the hairless norm serves to exaggerate the differences between men and women. "The implication of the hairless norm," she writes, "is that women's bodies are not attractive when natural and must be modified."

Great. If you don't depilate, you're either a man or a dyke. It's yet another branch of beauty's pernicious directive to conform. And at its heart is fear - fear of looking too masculine, of deviating from the established aesthetic that dictates women be hipless, breastless and, above all, hairless.

Instead of letting it all hang out, we're trapped in an endless, Sisyphean cycle of tweezing, waxing and plucking in some vain attempt to quell the beast within. But perhaps it's time to break the stranglehold that hair has on our lives.

Cardinal rules - such as the classic "once shaven, always stubbly" - could be taught in school, alongside how to fit a condom on a banana and how to make pastry using the rubbing-in method. Or perhaps coming out would work. They could do a Sex and the City special and make body hair hot.

In time, it might even be perceived as a thing of beauty. Some years ago, I glimpsed a woman on the banks of a river in British Columbia, Canada. She was beautiful, with a heavy rope of plaited hair down her back - the kind of woman who carries a dagger and makes her own bolero jackets from the skins of small mammals. Sandwiched between knee and sock, she had the legs of a yeti. The hair was so abundant that I could see it from the opposite bank. I was filled with awe and admiration. Here was a wilderness woman who owned little more than a tepee, but she had greater authority over her body than I did over mine, perched in a kayak with a lipgloss in my pocket and a Philips Ladyshave in my rucksack.

If we were all to let it grow rife, like the shrubs in the Lost Gardens of Heligan, I'm convinced we would soon find that hair in all the usual places isn't quite a turnoff after all. Give us more Julia Roberts' armpit fur, more European tennis champs. Put it on the cover of Vogue.

After all, it is incredible that the subject is still taboo. We freely discuss anal sex, female sexual dysfunction, paedophilia and boob jobs. But still body hair in the wrong place is off limits. Isn't it time to ditch the depilation, storm the shelves of chemists, burn the bleach and spike the tweezers? Of course it is. But, hey sister, you first.


This story was found at: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/02/23/1045935277714.html
I shall be indulgent today and rant without much discipline or focus.

I had duck noodles for breakfast today. It was pretty good. Unfortunately, in my morning daze I forgot to ask them not to put chili :( Later, at 11 am, the people at the range got us, the butt party, wanton noodles. Not bad too, though it also had chili. Roti Prata was starting to get tiring :) Less than 2 hours later was lunch. It seems the Muslim cookhouse's cook came back from leave - I'd not seen all the dishes served for lunch before. Well, the curry tasted the same, but at least it was a different colour! And they also gave us the fish that Malays are so fond of - the one with grey flesh and lots of bones: ikan kembong or mackerel, I think.

The SCV repair man gave us a new modem today since the old one was found to be spoilt. A new white Surfboad SB4100. No more disconnection problems! But on the flipside I might have to start paying for broadband and my fixed mobile phone charges. Unlike Xephyris, my schedule is not fixed enough to moonlight ; why is everyone into tutoring??? Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Sometimes, I feel like ranting about some subjects that I have touched on in the past, but keep coming back to again and again, probably because I am still bothered by them (or rather, -people- bother me with them). However, that is in very bad taste, so I won't indulge in it here.

Monday, February 24, 2003

Oh my goodness.

Goh-Lee -- childhood heroes
Today was only my fourth time at the Nee Soon range, but all the non-vegetable items at lunch had been repeated at least twice. Ugh! These cooks have no imagination. Maybe it's because they're Chinese/Indian so they don't know much about Malay food.

While switching to the 855 at Upper Thomson, I tried the DIY Root Beer float at 7-11. Not bad indeed, except that the Root Beer isn't cold.. And only $1 too. While finishing my Root Beer float, I saw some examples of the new Raffles Guys pinafore. Its colour isn't actually as vile as I'd been led to believe - a little darker than the one on here. Why can't schools with disgusting uniforms change them to nicer ones, instead of the other way round? River Valley, Bukit Panjang, Marymount Convent, THE Chinese High (red PE shorts!), Catholic High and the other Chinese schools with ugly metal buttons could all use a fresh design.

RJC went for the S-Cube seminar today. Whee. Praise is fulsome from all quarters:

"oh someone talked about dropping fertility rates due to NS.
or the usefulness of a seminar in the firstplace when so much is classified."

"it was excellently conducted, with most of the Q&A questions avoided and a light touch of propaganda, not to mention the entertaining and highly misleading skit put up! they put up a little skit, although there was not much interest to be paid to it except by the brainless..."

'coz it was NS propaganda
now it's TWO idiots there [not one]
two idiots who can't speak or understand english"

"'do you think that NS has contributed to falling fertility rates' which ellicited alot of hullabaloo in the audience and shocked the speakers who had to admit that actually their wives/gfs conceived their children while they were still in NS! (wah, and they were old boys of raffles too)"

"I believe S3 seminars would be more useful if the guest speakers were more forthcoming in their answers, were of higher rank and didn't worry so much about preserving their higher-than-MP pay.

And I really couldn't stand that stupid bitch who declared, "I realised your answers were rather diplomatic and tactful, and many details are hidden from our ears. So What really is the relevance of the S3 seminar then?" Sheesh. such answers just deserve a "well, if my answers weren't diplomatic and tactful I'd have called you a f**king bitch first" reply. I'm sure she could've answered her own question.

And the suspicions about whether Singapore's Armed Forces are really combat-ready, i.e. will they actually dare to shoot a living breathing person if they had to? Well if someoen shot/tried to shoot anyone I know I'll sure as hell try to kill him/her first. Or so I think. Hopefully future reality would prove me right."

The Breakfast From Hell - Swanson's new Hungry-Man All Day Breakfast is... smashing. 1 pound of food, giving you 1030 calories, 104% your RDA of saturated fat and 231% your RDA of cholesterol.

Some 16 year old girl won a prize in Mediacorp's Hamtaro contest. Argh. People aged 16 actually *watch* this? Oh yes, it's a female. Figures.

It seems Marc, my favourite Australian cousin, is resisting peer (and other) pressure to learn driving too. Yeh!

Sunday, February 23, 2003

Word of the day: "fait accompli"

Quote of the day: "In life, you make some wrong assumptions, then you get married. - History 6 Lecturer"

While I was on duty in the sickbay, Weida was playing his CD of techno music. It had probably the most beng songs I've ever heard. Luckily, he didn't play it in the afternoon, so I got some peace. Later, the AETC medic whom some claim looks like me (he does not!) was wheeling himself around in the wheelchair. In my younger days, I just might have done that, but now the novelty has worn out. What a pity :)

The ATC cookhouse always has interesting food. Albeit a third of the time they give Malay food for lunch or dinner, which is declaimed as being sucky across the board. This time, we got Roti Prata for breakfast, and 3 slices too, thanks to the nice man. It wasn't bad - too flaky and papery, but otherwise comparable to outside shops. Also, I swear the watermelon slices there are twice the size - nay, more! - of the ones at the 42 cookhouse. And yet the reservists don't all take them. When we have watermelon, it's usually gone by 11:45am.

Since HQ4SAB moved out, we at the Medical Centre no longer have Henry, with his sexy dark ringed eyes, to, erm, "play" with. Consequently, people have moved on to a wider range of targets. It seems that the current favourite is Gollum, probably because of his small stature. Beniah was experimenting with assorted positions, mostly involving a fireman's lift, with some perfunctory assistance from me. He doesn't squeal as much as Henry did, though. Henry is more fun *wistful* I wonder if the Kranji Medics are having fun with him now.

This brings to mind that time in bunk, when "I was trying to doze in the dark bunk, lit only by the flicker of the TV screen, when I heard tell-tale giggling and the sound of slippers on the floor. Suddenly, I was hit smack in the face by a pillow. Looking up, I saw Yiliang chasing people around the table, just like in Indian movies", or that time when "I walked into the bunk one day, only to find Boon Huat, Yiliang and Yong Siang on one bed, sprawled on top of each other and giggling softly like demure schoolgirls. After a while, they began grabbing at each other's clothes and trying to pin each other down. And after I wrote that paragraph, I was attacked by Yiliang and fled the bunk yelping, slamming the door after me (and spoiling the door handle in the process)". Ah, the good old days.

I think that this sort of behavior is due to most of us being repressed. That's why you get the same sort of behavior (stripping and molesting people, chasing them around, doing assorted things to their genitals et al) in boys' schools. Though my sources do tell me that "getting lampposted is a phenomenon that occurs with (alarmingly) increasing frequency in various JCs, most notably RJ and ACJ. It involves any object resembling a lamppost meeting the point of intersection of your legs at high relative velocity, resulting in an action-reaction force pair that has pretty bad implications for your excretory system." Oh dear.

I caught the name of the artiste who sings the desecrated Chinese version of On My Own - "ling2 yi4 lian2". Grr.

I'm used to seeing males wearing the SAF New Balance PT Shoes, because it's a credit item, and most people have more credit than they know what to do with (Me? I'm going to buy Kiwi and Toilet Paper and spread the Kiwi on the Toilet Paper and construct man-high letters saying 'National Service is National Slavery' and set it aflame outside the Istana), but on the way home from The Middle Of Nowhere (TM), I saw this Fairfield Methodist Secondary School girl wearing the current model of SAF New Balance shoes. Goodness.

Apparently repressed Saudis drink eau-de-cologne to get high since alcohol is banned in Saudi Arabia, home of the Wahhabis. Ugh.

The problem of asymmetric information held my attention for a while this week. Now, while lots of people read this blog, I know nothing at all about them (except that some come from my small but loyal following, and the rest search for assorted weird things like "transsexual zaogeng" and "tudung sex"). Over a period of time, I wager someone could construct a profile of me. That's somewhat disturbing.


Sleevia (Sylvia)

You were from choir meh? No wonder you laugh in a high pitch.

I prepared for Sunday duty by sleeping at 5 [am]

[On my soft toy] Next time I hug you then you hug me (...)
Apparently New Looney Tunes shorts are being made. Yeh!


Wile E. Coyote finds an old magic book, which proves not to be very helpful.

Bugs can't seem to lose at Sam's casino. Then Sam realizes that Bugs has been cheating -- he has rabbit's feet.

Duck Dodgers creates a group of robot replicas to destroy a space menace; then he lets the hero robots loose. Bad things happen.

A genetically engineered superchicken threatens to take over Foghorn Leghorn's roost.

Porky drops his daughter off at a rock concert and then discovers it's inappropriate for a y-y-young lady.

MUSEUM SCREUM (Definitely tentative title)
Sylvester breaks into a children's museum to eat the prize exhibit: a Tweety Bird.

Porky takes his family to a megaplex, hoping to find a movie "the whole family can enjoy." It doesn't work out that way.

Flying south for the winter, Daffy hits the North Pole. He's taken in by two of Santa's elves, not knowing they have very special Christmas Eve dinner plans.

SOME OF THE SHORTS IN DEVELOPMENT (These may or may not be done; most of these titles are just production placeholders)

Sylvester breaks into the White House to get the president's bird, and is aided by ghosts of the presidential dogs Checkers, Liberty and Buddy.

Bugs is saved from Elmer by a supermodel (voiced by Jenna Elfman) whose anti-fur stance is not set in stone.

Coyote is accidentally sent ACME's military catalog.

Two mobsters stuff Daffy down the wrong rabbit hole.

Porky is tortured by his cubicle mate, Daffy.

Porky takes his family to a very odd American History amusement park.

Bugs is harassed by a beach dude (voiced by Brendan Fraser).

A cow comes to 1930s Chicago to make it big in this singing, dancing Merry Melody, featuring a celebrity voice so secret I don't even know it yet.

500 years ago, a pirate Bugs and Sam sank a galleon full of treasure while fighting over it. Their ancestors have returned, determined to cooperate in order to retrieve the treasure.

A minor league baseball team imports a new mascot to compete with the other team's popular monkey mascot.

A chipmunk with a bad cold falls for Pepe on the dance floor, then one of her girlfriends gives her some Claritan.

Porky hires Daffy to fix a leaky sink, which, as you might imagine, is a bad idea.

Granny goes shopping, followed by a tall gentleman with a black cloak.

Daffy gets superpowers, wants to be good, but evil pays better.

Bugs brings a squirrel home to dinner. His mother disapproves.
Ironing pants with many pockets is tiresome. Gah.

On dietary restrictions:

"Are you so dull?" he asked, "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him unclean? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean'."
Oh this is too good

How Republican Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla
Annoying Mozilla bug that the people who control the tree won't fix:

Bugzilla Bug 25537
alt text is not displayed as a tooltip

The principle behind marking it VERIFIED WONTFIX is correct, but cruel reality intrudes.


No matter. Two people included workarounds using The Proxomitron! Number 2 seems to work better for me.

Workaround filter 1:
Name = "Tooltip fix - disregard tag with correct attribute"
Match = "\1 title=\w\2"
Replace = "\1 title=\w\2"

Name = "Tooltip fix - add correct title attribute"
Match = "\1 alt=(\w)\2\3"
Replace = "\1 alt=\2 title=\2\3"

Workaround filter 2:
Name = "Tooltip fix (change lone alts to titles)"
Bounds = "<img\s*>"
Match = "(^*title=*)"
"\1 alt="\2"\3"
Replace = "\1 alt="\2" title="\2"\3"

Or you can install an XPI which might or might not work: http://white.sakura.ne.jp/~piro/xul/_popupalt.html.en

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT my blog turns out on google as I found out via some referral tracking system! What is a semi-private blogger with a sense of freshing honesty to do? At least I never mention my name on here.

PS. the referral was "gabriel hwachong", btw, gabriel. Thanks A LOT for your notoriety! I wish you wouldn't revel quite so much in it!"

Now children, gather around the campfire while you learn a trick or two.

Try inserting this into the <head> of your template:

<meta name="robots" content="noindex">
Peace in Middle Earth in our time

MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor.

“We need more time for diplomacy,” said a key member of the Middle-Earth Security Council, Saruman the White. “I am not convinced by the evidence presented by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that the Dark Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples of the West.”

Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with Saruman’s remarks. “Sauron says he’s destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that’s good enough for me,” said one fellow carrying a sign that said “Elrond is a Balrog.” Another demonstrator urged, “Give the RMD inspectors more time. There’s no reason to rush to any judgment just because Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated.” A third protester piped up, “I haven’t heard a single bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides, it’s understandable they’re angry with Gondor. We haven’t done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It’s understandable they throw their support to them. It’s our own fault really.”

As the protesters continued their march through the city, they chanted, “No blood for Mount Doom,” voicing a common sentiment that the leaders of the Western peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly forged.

Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground location, which sources have revealed is codenamed: Moria.

Caring for your introvert.

eBay "bends over backwards to provide data to law enforcement officials
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