When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, March 13, 2004

Adobe Reader SpeedUp - Trim the bloat and it loads much faster!

Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit.

"Let's stop using the phrase "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual." Every time I hear anyone call themselves "spiritual," it's just after they mention astrology and just before I land a flying elbow to their ovaries... Astrological signs are based off arbitrary Zodiac symbols drawn by people who also believed that light from stars came from vents on burning chariot wheels."

Heart Attack - How to survive one when you are alone


Read this...It could save your life.

Let's say it's 6.15 pm and you're driving home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. You're really tired, and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.


Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing conscious. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.

A deep breath should be taken before each cough, the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives !!! Don't think you cannot have a heart attack because your age is less than 40 and you may be fit. Nowadays, due to further widespread deterioration in lifestyle choices ( junk food diets and any use of pharmaceuticals), heart attacks are found among people of all age groups and fitness levels.

[Ed: A medical student advises that "that stuff on heart attack is very unlikely to work.... heart attacks are usually caused because something's already wrong/clogged up with the heart/surround blood vessels, and additional physical/emotional stress puts a strain on the heart," and that " A naturopathic physician is not the same as a medical doctor!!!! N.D. not equals M.D. This coughing manoevure is very unlikely to work. In any case it's impractical; generally when you're having a heart attack you're likely to be experiencing excruciating chest pains and coughing will be the last thing on yr mind." But then, if you're gonna die anyway, I guess it can't hurt. - Added 16/03/04]

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Modified version of the penguin batting game - This one's bloodier, gorier and contrary to expectations, less fun. The bat has become a spiky club, there are landmines and some weird bloodied appendages extending from the ground now, but I prefer the original.

Wondeful story from Myo Li:

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying


I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I
decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole ( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen,Don, can I tell you something?"


"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.


"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.
We interrupt this post to bring you a special broadcast

Ask Jeeves answer: what are the pros and cons of becoming a eunuch?

1) Sounds from the past:

Musica (Musica Musarum Germana) - Jacobus Handl-Gallus

By some Czech choir. Sounds a bit funny, but then I don't think our version was much better.

"Jacobus Gallus (Jacob Handl)
(1550 - 1591)

Gallus was one of the great composers of the Renaissance period. Scarcely known today, Gallus' music stands out as a monument to beauty and spirituality. He was born in 1550 somewhere in Carniola, probably in Ribnica in Sovenia. He died in Prague in 1591."

2) Ad seen in Orchard underpass:

"Brazilian Waxing

Give your loved ones that self confidence with the feeling of being clean, smooth, young and sexy"

Being grammatically incorrect is the least of this ad's faults.

3)Cuba? It was great, say boys freed from US prison camp - James Astill meets teenagers released from Guantanamo Bay who recall the place fondly

"I thank God that my son has come back, but he has changed... He is impatient and refuses to listen to his elders. He has grown disobedient."

4) Bush's flip flops

"So Bush has a site somewhere that tracks Kerry's "flip-flops". Reader TK probably spent three seconds coming up with this list of Bush flip flops. It's not like they're hard to find:

# Bush is against an Iraq WMD investigation; then he's for it.
# Bush is against nation building; then he's for it.
# Bush is against deficits; then he's for them.
# Bush is for free trade; then he's for tariffs on steel; then he's against them again.
# Bush is against the U.S. taking a role in the Israeli Palestinian conflict; then he pushes for a "road map" and a Palestinian State.
# Bush is for states right to decide on gay marriage, then he is for changing the constitution.
# Bush-"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. Bush-"I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care.
# Bush first says the U.S. won't negotiate with North Korea. Now he will
# Bush said he would demand a U.N. Security Council vote on whether to sanction military action against Iraq. Later Bush announced he would not call for a vote
# Bush was for fingerprinting and photographing Mexicans who enter the US. Bush after meeting with Pres. Fox, he's against it."

Monday, March 08, 2004

"some sites are like porno mags
others like dictionary
and some like a bloody film

yours is like a school publication

its .......... just not meant to be commented upon "


"Too often, we are told that virtue lies in sacrifice, meekness, service to some good or authority higher than ourselves. When writers and directors try to create a character who embodies such virtues, they almost inevitably come up with a simpleton like Forrest Gump.

By contrast, consider the Iliad and the Odyssey. Those works present many characters who meet Hibbs' call for complex, realistic, and attractive portraits of virtuous men (and, on occasion, women). But those works upheld an ethical framework that valued cunning, pride, and self-interest as well as honor and bravery. When greed, sensuality, and self-interest are considered vices, it stands to reason that only the villains will display those traits. And maybe that attitude, not a fascination with evil per se, is one reason the bad guys in film and TV are often much more interesting than the good guys."

More Than Zero (review of Shows About Nothing: Nihilism in Popular Culture From The Exorcist to Seinfeld)

Utilitarianism is based on two premises... The first premise is the belief in consequentialism. Specifically, that morality is concerned with the effects of actions on the happiness of individuals. The second premise is a belief in a maximization principle. Specifically, the right action is the one which has as its consequence the greatest happiness of the greatest number. It is not easy to realize in today's society what a radical departure the first premise was from the conventional wisdom of its time. The second premise is a foundation of todays ubiquitous use of cost-benefit analysis.

Deontological theories of morality take as their premise the belief that human beings have an intuitive knowledge of right and wrong. Associated with this approach is the belief that human beings have certain rights, and that actions which adversely affect such rights are morally wrong. Historically, one immediately thinks of the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; currently, one is aware of the demands for woman's rights, gay rights, and a variety of economic rights. Since most of us do have strong feelings of right and wrong, there surely is a psychological basis for the deontological approach to morality.

Social contract theory... takes as its premise that there is an agreement between an individual and society in which the individual agrees to submit to the authority of the government and its laws in return for the government's protection of the individual's life and property. These theories were primarily concerned with the moral obligations of citizens and governments.

The deontologist believes that individuals have certain moral rights which cannot be sacrificed for the benefit of others; the consequentialist believes that morally correct action depends on its effects. The primary objection to the deontological view is that, in the absence of religious authority, its adherents provide no alternative basis for their choice of moral rights. Their final appeal, as expressed in many papers, is to "moral intuition" or "what we know is right".

History shows that moral rules evolve over time. A most striking example is slavery. It is now almost universally agreed that the institution of slavery is immoral. Yet almost up to modern times citizens who considered themselves to be highly moral owned slaves. At present only "animal rights" advocates, a small minority, consider it immoral to kill animals for food or use them in medical research. In future times will the present majority who disregard animal rights be considered to be as immoral as those who formerly accepted slavery? The morality of slavery and animal rights is fundamentally related to the question of who are members of the social group to whom the rules of morality apply. One way in which the evolution of morality can be viewed is as the expansion of the concept of society-defined as the group to whom one's moral rules apply-from family, to clan, to city, to country, to all persons, and (perhaps) to animals.

The premises we propose as a basis for moral choices are: What is morally correct depends upon consequences; the desired consequences are those leading to happiness; moral rules should be choices made to promote happiness.

Source: Morality/Ethics - A Philosophical Discussion of the Basis for Contemporary Moral Choices

Sunday, March 07, 2004

"With verdure clad" sounds so much more refined than "Now robed in cool refreshing green"

Robert Shaw recordings also tend to sound a little muffled, but at least this one is an English version. Though I do have some issues with the translation (see above).

Apparently Wild Force is the first series to be made by Disney (as opposed to Fox). That explains a lot of things (both good and bad). The special effects are technically better (especially evident with the CG in Forever Red), but somehow they have less character than the campy ones done by Fox.

Anonymous mail I got:

"i really hope that u would continue wiht the work and scan in year 1998 and 2001 yearbooks as well."

Sorry. No can do, bub.
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