When you can't live without bananas

Get email updates of new posts:        (Delivered by FeedBurner)

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Clay Kitten Shooting - Healthy, wholesome fun for the whole family!

More dumb laws

False advertising - Ad parodies

Funny clips - Taiwanese educational institution site

Webcam-ed School - So much for the RJ video.

The wonders of airbrushing - I never knew so much was possible! Shocking :0

Macintosh testimonials from, among others, an Amish, and a Japanese guy with buck teeth and a yellow raincoat.

Now I *FINALLY* know who See Ar Em (Read: CRM) is!


Actually she doesn't look that CRM-ish. If CRM is like that, CFM musn't be too spectacular either.

"no she was more crmy in sch. maybe she got sick of being *****"

Monday, August 11, 2003

There was this guy who hyperventilated and fainted while doing office work, coming into the Medical Centre as a casualty. I guess office work these days can be quite taxing - it's a jungle out there. Some things you just gotta see to believe (well, I didn't see it, but I saw Melvin keying in the records).

It's lucky that I was attached out in time, for the day after I "left", RT personnel started having to do 5BX every morning at 5:25am, the same time as the recruits. They are also not allowed to apply for leave or off, or take long weekends. If this continues, people are going to disappear 3 months before ORD, due to the accumulated off. I anticipate lots of MCs coming my way in the next few weeks. If they are willing to take such extreme measures just for the sake of a silly and unimportant competition, I shudder to think what it would take for them to condone killing.

The recruits had a weapon presentation parade and, as with all parades, I learnt new commands. Apparently "walkie walkie company" gets one guy from each company to march to the fore, "dalit senjata" commands the men to hold their rifles in their left hands and to put their right arms about the shoulders of the people to their right, and there is no word for "commanding officer" in Malay - the parade commander shouted, at one juncture, "hormat [something indistinct] Commanding Officer". Still, it's not as ridiculous as the ultra-long command to get people to cheer "hip hip hooray!". Besides ridiculous commands, there were ridiculous bonfires - one set up at each corner of the parade square, and small Deepavali-esque lights lined the perimeter. Maybe they intended a celebratory BBQ with the former.

I saw this SAF anti-smoking poster which had a picture of 2 legs in boots, and one boot was chained to a ball. The text read: "Why let yourself be a slave to cigarettes? Challenge yourself! Join the SAF Smoking Cessation Clinic and take control of your life!". Immediately, the following came to my mind: "Why let yourself be a slave to the SAF? Challenge yourself! Go AWOL and take control of your life!". It is oft-said that going AWOL will not solve anything, and only hurt people you love - your parents, girlfriend and others. I contend that going AWOL solves nothing - if you get caught. Further, the logic about hurting your loved ones may sound plausible, but a simple analogy will put paid to the lie. Assume that you are asked to pay protection money by gangsters. If you do not pay, they will trash your house and beat up your family and girlfriend, which will "hurt people you love". Therefore, we should all pay protection money!

We had finished vaccinating recruits and had extra prepared serum-filled syringes, and Melvin was playing with one when he shot me with one, squirting the left half of my face, and some went into my eye. Evil tellytubby!

My observations of the arts of skulduggery during my tenure so far have led to conclude that it just goes to show that when silly requirements and policies exist, ostensibly to improve the quality of work or life, people will just find a way around them, and that this will lead to the original goals being compromised more badly than if the silly requirements and policies had not existed. The spirit of doing things merely for the sake of doing them and to stay out of trouble pervades the working climate, while the shadow of the past gets in the way. I think having no certification or quality checks would result in better work quality, but the SAF would never give up its ISO certifications, of which it is so proud (how does reaching ISO 9002 standard make them fight better?). Besides, what would regulars fight for then, if not for meaningless ranking?

If they ever get down to changing the system, they might as well, to ensure accountability and responsibility, change performance appraisals so those under you have to rank you, in addition to your superiors.

It's so hard to find elves these days - even after I was promised "helpers", those I had were posted to the company line, leaving me with no 2ic and thus no one to take over me in the event that I am not around. Those who are left are also very good at hiding. Santa is getting frustrated.

My donation of $0.30 for the Army Half Marathon was rejected as being insultingly low (which might or might not have been the original intent), so I was forced to cough up another $1.70 to make the total $2. Bah.

My latest hare-brained scheme to get rid of rats went horribly awry. I noticed that the rats run into the pantry via 2 holes - one under the sink and one in the ceiling where a pipe rises into the blackness. I plugged the former with Sudol, and for the latter I tried to make it slippery so the rats would slip and fall to a gruesome death on the counter below. The former was easy, but for the latter I needed something which would not run or evaporate and was very slippery. One or two others suggested vehicle grease, so a few days later I went to the Workshop to get some. After coating the pipe and working terribly hard to wash the grease off, I waited. For a few days, I saw no rats in the pantry, and the grease coating lay undisturbed. After a few days, though, grease smears appeared on the wall and on the counter. Oh well. At least it kept them away for a few days - and I still haven't seen any rats scampering about. May they starve to death.

I wonder why the SAF bothers to trial people, for their trials are not anything normal people would recognise as such - the defendant is already pronounced guilty, and the trial is merely to decide on a punishment.

Ivan, one of our new medic, reminds me of Julian. It's not just the hair, face or the complexion. They also both have similar senses of humour and voices. Even the personalities have some similarities - for example both are kinda easy going. Freaky.

Xiankun and Yong Gen will be going for the Combat Medic Spec II course with Ban Xiong and Jason. Haha.

Weizhang was wearing this very nice red shirt with a gas mask on it and the words: "F*** the army. Make love, not war". I wonder if the shirt's available in my size.

Jonathan has this unhealthy obsession with some people, especially **** ***. He's been making references to her whenever he can.

Someone was describing his gastronomic adventures, but despite his descriptions of culinary orgies, it hardly shows on his frame. Gah, some people can eat as much as they like without any visible side-effects.

I've been reading very little these days, but somehow people think I read a lot. It's been a while since my last spurt, so I think it must be my aura.

Someone brought in Teenage Magazine's August issue, and as usual, it was a blast reading it. Some interesting dislikes that people listed for the penpal section: people who love to go to parties, "smokers" (haha), "5566, F4, energy and other actor-turned singers", "betrayers" (?) and "those who act cool and cute". There was also this "Sec 3 girl who is looking for hardcore girls and boys", whatever that means - it's even more incomprehensible than asking people to "stay cool and funky". Oddly this month, girls bucked the trend of more than half of the penpal page being taken up by guys, but then some things don't change - half the guys wanted to know girls only, while the girls were fine with knowing people of any gender. All in all, I was most amused/disturbed by this 19 year old guy who wants "to have a steady girlfriend aged 14-16".

Flash Mobs have been storming cities worldwide. Supposedly there was one in Singapore, but if so, I didn't hear about it. It sounds rather fun, but maybe the police would throw all participants into the lockup for "Illegal Assembly".

Some people were trying to convince me that, contrary to the great proportion of published literature, survey results and common perception, females are actually more prurient than males. I think this is mostly because of projection, as males project their fantasies onto the other gender, and also a desire to assuage their guilt, fears and inadequacies. Of course, most people don't like to reveal potentially embarassing details to others, but their theories seem to be based on anecdotal evidence from a biased group of samples (people they have slept with?). Or maybe I just move in different circles.

Taiwanese television causes me to be bemused. Why do Taiwanese women like to watch and take part in all those shows which provide men with cheap thrills? I suppose they themselves get thrilled as well. And then you have the schoolgirls, who often form a block in the audience, who sit there in their school uniforms watching the show unfolding rapturously. Do their schools actually approve of their outings? Maybe they don't have the same standards for "wholesome" and "educational" school outings that they have in some other places.

Chemistry is coming to a close. Looks like they didn't bungle up the post-modernist stunt too badly, but nevertheless, I think it would've been better to stick to the original premise. Another thought: Listening to Rui En speak English with the clipped and precise "RJ" accent, you wouldn't think she was a Chinese Pop singer. It's rare to find people bilingually fluent.

The latest production from Jack Neo, Home Run, is very cheapskate. Not being able to think up a story of their own, they just ripped off Children of Heaven, and from what I've seen and read, it does not do the latter justice. It disturbs me so much that everytime I see the trailer, or a featurette on it, it gets my hackles up.

The latest Speak Good English Movement has the motto: "You don't have to use big words to speak good English". I agree. In the same spirit, here are some corollaries: "Food doesn't have to be tasty to make it edible - mushy instant noodles and burnt rice are enough to live on!", "You don't have to focus to take visible photos" and "You don't have to be a perfectionist to get the job done - do as little as you need to".

It seems that everyone knows where they want to go and what they want to do, and I am in the minority. The fact that this doesn't bother me as much as it should - bothers me.

A friend cried when she lost her mp3s a few years back. I am not alone in my misery!

Yisa lost 20kg in the 2 months after ORD. Wah. Now he's much lighter than me!

I saw Zhengyu with this Sec 4 RI boy in Bishan, and the latter asked me, "Are you the webmaster of 'gssq'?". Doh!

Guy on SoulSeek: this performance of goldberg variation by J.K [Keith Jarret] is very, very poor. dl a better version. I warned you.
Me: so why do you keep it? ;)
Him: I use it as an example how bach may be misinterpreted by dilletants
try wanda landowska`s interpretation on harpsicord

Some people are so hard core :) I've found people with, like, 5 versions of the complete variations.

I really miss Audiogalaxy. Now where am I going to get the Geographical Fugue from?


[On a girl he knows from Renewal, a MMORPG] Yesterday I asked one of them to help me buy something. Girls like to queue up.

[On taking a day off] What are you doing tomorrow? [Me: Something I haven't done in a long time] [Someone: Pah Chiu Cheng {masturbating}] [Someone else: Think of **** *** and Pah Chiu Cheng]

[On why everyone thinks Taiwan is full of pretty girls, but that not being the case] It's just like Japan. All the beautiful girls go and pai1 AV [film adult videos]

[On not being able to sleep] I need powder.

[On Rui En] Her eyes, her expression is quite rubbish.

[On Rui En and a Channel 8 serial] Your idol is on TV. [I rush out and am dejected] [Me: Cheh. I thought it was Asian Prince]

[Zhengyu's Sec 4 RI friend] Are you the webmaster of "gssq"?

[On my teddy bear: New teddy bear smell] Some girl.

Eh! Jiabao! [Me: Eh! Bob!] Eh, shit.

[On playing 'Ganguro Girl'] There was this time when I had to keep pressing "up"

[On patriotism] The only thing I like about Singapore is the food

[On my dragging an ice cube across my chest] Wah lao... Trying to arouse yourself... Eraser nipples... Your nipples are like the erasers on the end of the pencils.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Dear All,

I have just read and signed the online petition:

"The RIAA and the Artists versus P2P File Sharing and the Loyal Consumer "

hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com, the free online petition service, at:


I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, and consider signing yourself.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Latest posts (which you might not see on this page)

powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes