When you can't live without bananas

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Saturday, December 05, 2009

Seek, Save, Serve

Seek cover
Save your own ass
Serve and fuck off

Friday, December 04, 2009

"Formerly, Americans charged with murder were considered innocent until proven guilty; now they are considered insane until proven sane" - Thomas Szasz


Man molests colleague in mortuary - "The 55-year-old man pleaded guilty to pressing her buttocks with his hand in the afternoon of Feb 16 while she was photocopying death certificates. A district court heard that the 27-year-old woman had quickly moved away but 30 minutes later, he went up to her again and rubbed her back with his hand before tapping her buttocks... The offender and the women work for the Health Sciences Authority (HSA) and the court ordered that no details that could lead to the identification of the victims are published"
At first I thought this was necrophilia; unlike Wee Chor Kian, this is pretty incontrovertible, since it was repeated. Interestingly the moral of the story may be: if you don't want your name splashed across the papers, molest a colleague.

Fish & Co awarded $269,000 - "Fish & Co sued its former operations manager Dickson Low, who was then running the MFM chain of restaurants in Malaysia. Fish & Co alleged that Mr Low had taken its secret recipes, cooking tips and kitchen operations in an apparent bid to use the confidential information to set up MFM... The defendants signed a deed of settlement, undertaking not to use serving pans, sauces, slogans and jingles, as well as words and phrases identical or confusingly similar to those used by Fish & Co"
Looks like Manhattan Fish Market's scumminess extends beyond passing off as the Fulton Fish Market

Woman arrested for trying to record 'Twilight' on digital camera - "Tumpach insisted Wednesday that’s not what she was doing — she was actually taping parts of her sister’s surprise birthday party celebrated at the Muvico Theater in Rosemont. While she acknowledged there are short bits of the movie on her digital camera, there are other images that have nothing to do with the new film — including she and a few other family members singing “Happy Birthday” to her 29-year-old sister at the theater."

What do cats do all day? Kitty cam has answer - "About 22 percent of the cats' time was spent looking out of windows, 12 percent was used to interact with other family pets and 8 percent was spent climbing on chairs or kitty condos. Just 6 percent of their hours were spent sleeping... looking at a television, computer, DVDs or other media 6 percent of the time and hiding under tables 6 percent of the time"

fairterms - "PUT A STOP TO UNFAIR DIGITAL PRODUCT TERMS... The unexpected and often unfair digital product terms that many sellers embed in these agreements, as well as the product features used to enforce them, often take away your basic rights as a customer—whether you are a business or individual consumer. They could increase your computer security risks and jeopardize your privacy. They could also chill competition."

Verizon: How Much Do You Charge Now? - "They configure the phones to have multiple easily hit keystrokes to launch ‘Get it now’ or ‘Mobile Web’—usually a single key like an arrow key. Often we have no idea what key we hit, but up pops one of these screens. The instant you call the function, they charge you the data fee. We cancel these unintended requests as fast as we can hit the End key, but it doesn’t matter; they’ve told me that ANY data–even one kilobyte–is billed as 1MB. The damage is done. Imagine: if my one account has 1 to 3 bogus $1.99 charges per month for data that I don’t download, how much are they making from their 87 million other customers? Not a bad scheme. All by simply writing your billing algorithm to bill a full MB when even a few bits have moved."

Man controlled robotic hand - "During a one-month experiment conducted last year, 26-year-old Pierpaolo Petruzziello felt like his lost arm had grown back again, although he was only controlling a robotic hand that was not even attached to his body."

Press Muse: Age of extremes - "The cardinal sin – to opine and editorialise within the guise of news... The [Temasek] Review calls this news. News! All conjecture, no evidence. Or as Stephen Colbert would have put it: “All heart, no facts.” And as the saying goes, one abysmally contrived opinion deserves another. The correspondent, now capable of mindreading, babbles on fecklessly... Several paragraphs later, we learn that the Review’s correspondent is omniscient, and magnanimous to boot... if I may return the favour to the Review, please pick up copies of the Associated Press Stylebook and Nick Davies’ Flat Earth News. The journalistic profession is in bad enough shape as it is without half-baked bloggers confusing their art for news reporting"
Doubtless TR will say this is pro-gahmen propaganda.

Uganda considers death sentence for gay sex in bill before parliament - "Members of the public are obliged to report any homosexual activity to police with 24 hours or risk up to three years in jail – a scenario that human rights campaigners say will result in a witchhunt.Ugandans breaking the new law abroad will be subject to extradition requests... "We are talking about anal sex. Not even animals do that"... "We would rather live in grass huts with our morality than in skyscrapers among homosexuals""

Sons struggle - "I salute Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew. It takes a great man to admit his mistake... my husband and I [migrated] to give our sons a chance to realise their full potential. The disproportionate amount of time they spent on Chinese left them little time for important subjects like mathematics, resulting in average grades that demoralised them. Our decision paid off. Both my sons are now professionals in their chosen fields"
Is this meant to be ironic?
"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep." - Woody Allen


Luckily he already has tenure:

Porn not bad for men - study

ALL men watch pornographic videos but it does not impact on their sexual habits or their relationships with women, a Canadian researcher has maintained after a two-year study.

Montreal University associate professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse told AFP his research had refuted views that pornography enthusiasts seek out in life what they see in X-rated videos, leading to sexual abuse or denigration of women.

"It would be like saying that vodka ads lead to alcoholism,'' the sociologist said.

The majority watches X-rated movies to satisfy a "fringe fantasy," according to his research, and it would be unfair to extrapolate from that that it leads to criminal behaviour.

Prof Lajeunesse said he had difficulty setting up the study as adult video stores and sex shops refused to allow him to post notices inviting men to participate.

A handful of universities permitted him to address their campuses, and after appealing to some 2000 mostly women students to take part, 20 heterosexual men agreed to discuss their sex lives in depth.

His first discovery: all the respondents watched adult videos online. Singles viewed twice the amount of pornography as others with an average of three 42-minute sessions weekly, versus 1.7 27-minute sessions for those in a committed relationship.

Second: almost all searched alone for online erotica, whether in a committed relationship or not. Respondents explained they just did not feel comfortable sharing such moments with others, even with a spouse or girlfriend.

Some fit it into their leisure routine, as one respondent put it: "a good meal, a good movie and masturbation.''

The study also revealed that men tend to fast-forward through scenes that do not interest them, often involving sexual violence or group ejaculation which they found "disgusting.''

According to his research, said Prof Lajeunesse, men search out pornography that relates to their earliest sexual fantasies, generally conceived at age 12 at the onset of puberty. They are not looking for new tricks to show off.

One student who participated in the study confided that he used to fantasise about orgies, but when presented with such an opportunity he found himself unable to perform sexually.

Prof Lajeunesse also dismissed suggestions that avid pornography enthusiasts seek to imitate in life what they see on screens, or that they watch X-rated videos in an attempt to purge vile sexual impulses.

"Both arguments are worthless,'' he said. Men make a distinction between their real lives and sexual fantasies, he argued.

One respondent, who claimed to dream of seducing a porn star, explained why he would never date one, saying simply: "I couldn't introduce her to my parents.''

Naturally, people will pick on the small sample size and self-reporting, but these are seen on the other side of the dispute as well.

Not to mention that opposing studies often don't look at relevant effects, instead looking at indirect results like attitudes.

Related: Proof that Internet porn prevents rape

Addendum: More on the project:

"Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.

But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it...

Although hampered in its original aim, the study did examined (sic) the habits of those young men who used pornography...

“Not one subject had a pathological sexuality,” he said. “In fact, all of their sexual practices were quite conventional.

“Pornography hasn't changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible,” he added."
"La probité, la sincérité, la candeur, la conviction, l'idée du devoir, sont des choses qui, en se trompant, peuvent devenir hideuses, mais qui, même hideuses, restent grandes ; leur majesté, propre à la conscience humaine, persiste dans l'horreur. Ce sont des vertus qui ont un vice, l'erreur. L'impitoyable joie honnête d'un fanatique en pleine atrocité conserve on ne sait quel rayonnement lugubrement vénérable. Sans qu'il s'en doutât, Javert, dans son bonheur formidable, était à plaindre comme tout ignorant qui triomphe. Rien n'était poignant et terrible comme cette figure où se montrait ce qu'on pourrait appeler tout le mauvais du bon."

"Permettez-moi de vous rappeler que l’extrémisme, dans la défense de la liberté, n’est pas un vice"

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

"A hotel isn't like a home, but it's better than being a house guest." - William Feather


'Female Viagra' boosts sexual desire in women with flagging libido

HSBC embroiled in 'slit-eye row' over advert - "The model called Brian, who stars in the bank's commercial with the tag line "Fixed savings rates that won't budge", had his skin darkened and is wearing make-up that makes his eyes look narrower, it has been claimed. He is pictured in a Japanese-style wig and a traditional mawashi belt... Godfrey King, director of the Anglo-Japanese Society of Wessex, said: "The fact that the picture depicts a sumo wrestler who is not actually a sumo wrestler, but has been made up to look like one, would be considered a high insult to the Japanese community. It is culturally insensitive. "It has insulted the honour of our nation"... "The only make-up and post-production applied is to even up our model's natural suntan from his arms and neck-line all over his body. Sumo wrestlers come from all over the world and the sport is particularly popular in central Europe right now. "It's standard photography make-up - not to alter the ethnicity of the model in any way."
From another article: "the ring [is]- now dominated by foreign rikishi... The two reigning grand champions, Asashoryu and Hakuho, are Mongolian. There are about 60 foreign wrestlers today; the Nagoya tournament, which begins on Sunday, will be the first in which more overseas than Japanese appear in the top four ranks."

Wiktionary, the free dictionary - Wikipedia Mobile - "The web pages accessible via http://wikipedia.7val.com are a live mirror of http://www.wikipedia.org optimized for mobile devices... The original Wikipedia website has been optimized thanks to "FIT Mobile" software, developed by Sevenval AG for optimal browsing on mobile devices"

Killer whales: Death by karate chop, the deadly tactic used by orcas to take out sharks - "The orca will use its tail to drive the shark to the surface. They don't even touch it. Using an up-thrust of its tail it creates a vortex which pushes the shark up on the current they create with their movements. Once the shark is at the surface, the killer whale pivots and lifts its tail out of the water and comes down on top of it like a karate chop."

How Twilight Works - The Oatmeal - - "The author creates a main character which is an empty shell. Her appearance isn't described in detail; that way, any female can slip into it and easily fantasize about being this person. I read 400 pages of that book and barely had any idea of what the main character looked like; as far as I was concerned she was a giant Lego brick. Appearance aside, her personality is portrayed as insecure, fumbling, and awkward - a combination anyone who ever went through puberty can relate to. By creating this "empty shell," the character becomes less of a person and more of something a female reader can put on and wear... Imagine everything women want in a man, then exaggerate it by ten thousand - and you've got Edward Cullen. The level of detail that the author goes into while describing Edward's appearance is remarkable. At one point while reading I started counting the number of times the author used the expression "Edward's perfect face," and it was far into the double digits. The author excruciatingly details his muscular pecs, clothing, hair, eye color - even his goddamn breath (I'm not joking)."

Indonesia minister says immorality causes disasters - "Communication and Information Minister Tifatul Sembiring said that there were many television programmes that destroyed morals. Therefore, the minister said, natural disasters would continue to occur... He also hit out at rising decadence - proven, he said, by the availability of Indonesia-made pornographic DVDs in local markets - and called for tougher laws... Why focus on public immorality when there was so much within the government, one respondent reportedly asked."
Indonesia needs Thio Su Mien to pray for it to save it from disasters

Ejected from Singapore - "The insidious practice of self-censorship is all-pervasive. One senior editor at a major international newspaper in Asia admitted that he line-edits every single story about Singapore for fear of upsetting the powers-that-be. A veteran foreign correspondent in Singapore insisted that it was possible to criticise the government "if one takes a subtle rather than confrontational approach and focuses on policy issues rather than personalities". But, fearful of jeopardising his employment visa, he was not prepared to speak on the record."

STOMP - Singapore Seen - Are we abusing bees for honey? - "Is it cruelty to use bees as "biomachines" for human consumption? Bees gather only a tiny amount of pollen in each trip; they would have to travel 75 000 miles to produce just one pound of honey! Does our abusive treatment of bees amount to slavery? Now that would surely kill some buzz."

Malaysiakini turns 10, so where's Singaporekini? - "Why is it, for example, that the average Malaysian 'roti canai' beats even our most highly-rated prata in taste and texture? How in the world did Malaysia end up with the region's most charismatic budget airline when we're supposed to be the transport hub of Asia? And why, as Malaysiakini celebrates its 10th anniversary this weekend in Kuala Lumpur, are we still waiting for a Singaporekini?... At critical moments in Malaysia, government control did not just strain press credibility, it tore it up, crushed it underfoot and set it on fire for all to see, causing a mass exodus to alternative media. In Singapore, the likes of The Online Citizen might reach the heights of Malaysiakini if The Straits Times were forced to stoop as low as The New Straits Times... the odds are slightly higher of our 'roti prata' becoming as good as their 'roti canai'"

WordWeb - "A typical SUV causes about twice as much warming per mile as a typical normal European car... You may use the program free of charge indefinitely only if
* You take at most 4 flights (2 return flights) in any 12 month period
* AND you do not own or regularly drive an SUV (sports utility vehicle).
If you do not qualify you must uninstall the program after the 30-day trial period or purchase WordWeb Pro. The licence is designed to provide a small incentive for people with massively unsustainable emissions to cut down. Whenever a user no longer meets the above requirements, and they have installed the product for more than 30
days, they must uninstall the product or purchase WordWeb Pro; otherwise it is software theft."
These are the weirdest license terms I've ever seen

On the difference between science and philosophy - "Yes, science can empirically test specific religious claims (intercessory prayer, age of the earth, etc.), but the best objections against the concept of, say, an omnibenevolent and onmnipowerful god, are philosophical in nature (e.g., the argument from evil). Why, then, not admit that by far the most effective way to reject religious nonsense is by combining science and philosophy, rather than trying to arrogate to either more epistemological power than each separate discipline actually possesses. Another common misconception is that philosophy, unlike science, doesn't make progress. This is simply not true, unless one measures progress by the (scientific) standard of empirical discovery. But that would be like accusing the New York Yankees of never having won an NBA title: they can't, they ain't playing the same game"

Monday, November 30, 2009

"College isn't the place to go for ideas." - Helen Keller


Déjeuner du matin

Il a mis le café
Dans la tasse
Il a mis le lait
Dans la tasse de café
Il a mis le sucre
Dans le café au lait
Avec la petite cuiller
Il a tourné
Il a bu le café au lait
Et il a reposé la tasse
Sans me parler

Il a allumé
Une cigarette
Il a fait des ronds
Avec la fumée
Il a mis les cendres
Dans le cendrier
Sans me parler
Sans me regarder

Il s'est levé
Il a mis
Son chapeau sur sa tête
Il a mis son manteau de pluie
Parce qu'il pleuvait
Et il est parti
Sous la pluie
Sans une parole
Sans me regarder

Et moi j'ai pris
Ma tête dans ma main
Et j'ai pleuré

Sunday, November 29, 2009

"Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it." - Russell Baker


Pictures from June:

"O'Gambinos Irish Italian Bistro Bar. Another day, another lousy lunch? After all the hard work, you deserve a full lunch set... Ask your boss along , score some points."

BHG's "The Big Bra Sale". Too bad the bras aren't as big as the sale.

"Join Us As: Female Sales Assistant" - Bee Cheng Hiang discrimination in hiring. So much for "hire on ability".

Borders Book Juxtaposition: "Prisoner of God", "Rainbow Good News Bible (Gift Edition)", "the Portable Atheist", "Eyewitness Companions: Religions", "The Prodigal God", as well as a wildcard, "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You"

Another shitty Bust Enhancement ad: "B-Cup is not enough! Get a Sexy C-Cup Cleavage!... Our therapists will gently massage our unique formulation onto your breasts, which will penetrate deeply into your breast tissues, enhancing your bust to a firm, curvaceious fullness"
Maybe I should get a job at Slim Fit.

"This is The Rock! Do Not Remove It!" - At PaRaDoX's wedding at St Andrew's.

Cineleisure photosticker shop machine: "This Machine Only Accept JAP ¥. Pls Proceed to the Counter & Change"
You can get some ¥100 coins and undercut their business model.

"Aljunied Brothers... Do not leave your trash here. This is private property. If we see you will report to police"

Australian & Malaysian Milo side by side. Ironically, the formula with palm oil gets the "Healthier Choice" endorsement while the other doesn't.

"Mogu Mogu... Nata De Coco is full of amusement" - ???

I was amused by the physical road divider in Raffles Place - drawing lines isn't enough.

Real Wasabi at Shimbashi - S$3.20. It's a lot more delicate and fresh-tasting than the fake wasabi you usually get, and the spiciness doesn't go to your nose (and it hits a different part of the tongue). The latter does approximate this reasonably well.

"The Unguarded Moment" Epson photo competition. Notice there're some winners which are blur.

A $45 Shojin Ryori set at Enso Kitchen:

Goma (Sesame) Tofu. It was a bit drier and less flavourful than the one I had at Koyasan.

The set. Miso soup, carrot jelly, sweet potato with pickled cucumber, eggplant with sesame, okra with shitake mushroom, rice with plum flakes.

Dessert. Soya kudzu cake and black sesame paste

Ang moh girls excited by Doctor Fish at Orchard Towers:

"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." - Chinese Proverb


LDPVTP: i was sitting in the reserved seat of the train this morning, cos the train was empty, cos i was a little late
and looking around every so often, cos must look for pregnant ladies and old ppl etc

so this lady squished her butt against the glass side panel beside me.
no big deal, very normal

then the butt started wiggling. i was like, wtf, but never mind that.

and then the guy with her put his hand into her back pocket and started squeezing.
that was when i got really annoyed (all this was about 5 cm away from my face) and rapped hard on the glass, once.
only then did they kind of stop.

please blog this. i'm curious to know what your other readers would have done.
if he had squeezed again, i would have scolded them both. really.

Frigid Girl: idon't understand why LKY said bilingualism caused hatred towards chinese
though i'm very amused by the quote "ting xie, mo xie, MADNESS!"

Me: because thanks to him, lots of people hate mandarin

Frigid Girl: how?
how thanks to him
there has to be a logical causalityu

Me: because of ting xie, mo xie, madness

Frigid Girl: ting xie and mo xie are NORMAL ways of teaching chinese

chinese people in msia, thailand, and of course China do it
in fact china does a wholeload more than that
but that's their first langt

Me: well PRCs come to singapore and complain that they must memorise the ci yu shou ce
that tells you something is wrong right

Frigid Girl: they don'tcomplain
they cando it WITHOUT looking at the ci yu shou ce
to them, it's damned silly

Me: I'm told that some of them complain

Frigid Girl: why would they? they know all of the ci yu already
hello i was in a class with 9 PRC scholars
i would know

they know it all already
the complaining is cos, why do they even have to restrict to a book

they felt it should've been like english
should be more free structured testing, no memorisingfrom book
ie more fair for them, HURHUR
if that were implemented, you'd hate chinese more

Me: oh. they're moving towards more formal english instruction
teaching grammar. vs anyhow whack
cos anyhow whack means singaporeans cannot speak english

well you were doing higher chinese right
I was doing normal chinese. and it was bad enough

Frigid Girl: HURHUR
i don't understand what's so bad about normal chinese

i got A2 for CL2 for after studying for it for 8h
i was easily the worst in chinese in my whole school

Me: small fish, big pond
big fish, small pond

my sister knows people who got A1 for Chinese in SG but can't speak a word

so why do you think singapore is the exception in the mandarin-teaching world

Frigid Girl: because we're given the idea early on that english
belongs to a higher social class
so we strive for that

in singapore, language is part of what defines your social status

while LKY is saying "oh i made singaporeans hate chinese" he's totally notlooking at an entire class of people
he's onlythinking of his grandsons
one of which mananaged to get D7 for chinese, damn lousy

there're the lower middle class in singapore
their chinese is wayyyyyyyyyyy better than english
and they hate english
why doens't he address that?
then OBVIOUSLY these people arenot going to like chinese very much, innit?!

Me: hurr hurr
he's looking at the english educated, english speaking

I dont think the "mandarin" speaking people hate mandarin
but then they cant use it properly

Me: RT @secrettweet: 54837 my husband will never know that his 15yr old son is actually his 15yr old brother. his dad got me drunk, and only the two of us know!

Someone: wow that's so wrong. she must have enjoyed fucking her husband's dad lol.

Someone else: she was drunk, not much of a choice is it?

Someone (2): Oh please. There is drunk, and then there is /drunk/. And even then you might not be so completely inebriated as to not know wtf you're doing. If all drunk women were immediately without the capacity to "choose" to decide whether they were to have sex with a particular person, a ton more guys in the world would be scoring. And granted, there are times when you are that stupidly drunk that shit does happen, but imo "I was drunk" is an overused excuse.

Someone (3): And if you are that drunk as to be completely not able to make a judgment, it is practically rape.

Me: Well, the question is how drunk one has to be to lose their agency.

Losing some inhibitions shouldn't count, and passing out from the alcohol must - but where does one cross into the other?

Interestingly, drunk drivers are treated as responsible for what they do when drunk because they should've known.

The same doesn't apply for women and sex, though...

(Drunk men are still responsible for who they have sex with when drunk)

Someone (3): The legal rationale for criminalising drink driving, and whatever happens afterwards is removed from the penal code, and goes along different theories of culpability.

And no, it is not entirely true that drunkenness is not a defence - it is a selective defence under s86 of the Penal Code. But of course, the current provisions are not drafted very well.

Me: [Someone]: [the husband] is eating szechuan veg chicken soba soup
and [the cat] is eating shredded chicken from the carcass
so my animals are fed

my thought: if a male had said that about a woman... good luck to him

Frigid Girl: *** said that
i was wondering why his wife not offended

Me: hehe
he'd be slammed as a misogynist

Frigid Girl: he said "i have a daughter, a wife, a niece, 2 maids"
"hell, even my dog is female"
"我好像在养很多女人“ [Translation: I seem to be supporting/nurturing a lot of women]

Me: hahahahaha

Frigid Girl: i was so offended for the wife when *** told me

he said it at the dinner table
after criticising the wife's cooking
i feel so bad for her

Me: hoho
do you feel bad for [the husband in my example]

Frigid Girl: hurhur
why should i?

well okay
i feel SLIGHTLY bad
but not like he's poor or anything

Someone: u salsa before?

Me: nope I havent

have you
why do girls like it HURR HURR

Someone: i m gg to start salsa classes in dec

nah...i m just wondering
wat sort of guysdance salsa
hehe...i never have good impressions on guys who dances

Me: tsk
then how to find [dance] partner

Someone else: *** just witnessed a drunk fellow being removed from the train by SMRT

so we wonder if the guy was really doing something to cause concern
or if it's some weird new rule by SMRT - drunks cannot travel on the train

which defeats the whole don't drink and drive campaign
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