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Saturday, August 11, 2007

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." - Robert Frost


People's Action Party (Singapore). Convention (1990 : Singapore)

"Contents: The Party's philosophy for the 1990s -- Report / by the Committee on Race, Religion and Politics in Singapore -- Immigration & emigration -- Report of the Committee on the Poor in Our Society.

Location: CL Confidential Collection (Information Desk)"

Shit, I never knew we had a "Confidential Collection". This must be too dangerous even for the Singapore-Malaysia Collection!
"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose." - Evan Esar


u r wt u wr:

- 'I'll show you my game... [Reverse side] If you show me yours. Adidas.'
- '你要抚摸我的翅膀吗 *picture of dragon's wings*' (Translation: 'Do you want to feel up my wings?' Derfel says 'wings' means 'lats')
- 'Why are all the good men either dead, married or broke?'
- 'Pet me *picture of pussy*'
- 'Do you know the meaning of ABCDEFG. A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl. Reverse the meaning of GFEDCBA. Girl Forget Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again' (reconstructed from the Internet - her bag strap was blocking everything after 'forget')
- 'If you think I'm spunky, cover your monkey' (contributed)
- 'Love machine' (contributed)
- 'Management is not responsible for any loss of virginity' (contributed)

Friday, August 10, 2007

I hasten to point out it's not THAT kind of disease. Incidentally that little bout of flu fucked up my leukocyte count during my health check-up - I freaked out when I saw the results, thinking I had leukemia.

I should also mention Gabriel's Cock-level ineptitude in not answering his phone for 2 hours around the time he was due to arrive at the Puduraya bus interchange, forcing me to panic while sitting at a dingy cybercafe nearby frantically asking people in Singapore to sms/call him. Many happy scenarios ranging from "his phone can't roam" to "what if organ harvesters have dismembered him and sent the excess meat to Sierra Leone as a cheap supplement to UN food aid" flashed through my mind during this period.

His feeble excuse was that he "couldn't hear his phone ring" - one of the numerous infractions on the How Girls Waste Time list!

Time to compose a "How Gabriel Wastes (Other People's) Time" list!
Turns out I did get struck with bad luck in bolehland after all - HWMNBN infected me with a disease due to our being in close proximity.

Hopefully I'll recover in time to assault Kinabalu.
The AirAsia hotline hold message is: "Sales agents are still busy due to overwhelming response from our promotions. We will be with you as soon as possible." Gah.

Also, on their travel requirements page:

"No Outside Food Policy
In view of the region’s diversified culture, strictly no outside food and beverage is allowed onboard. A comprehensive inflight selection is available and may be purchased at reasonable prices."


Thursday, August 09, 2007


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Trying to find a hotbed of Singaporean films, one of our number typed "film.sg" into the URL bar.

To register a SG domain name, you need to be a Singaporean resident with a real address in Singapore. So we did a trace on SGNIC, the results of which are:

Registrar: Vooju Pte Ltd
Registrant: Expert Creations

Domain Name: film.sg
Creation Date: 06-01-2005 07:00:07
Expiration Date: 06-01-2008 00:00:00
Domain Status: Active

Owner/Main Contact:

Name: Expert Creations(SGNIC-ORGEX172867)
Registered Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Registered Address(line2):
Registered Address(line3):
Registered Country: United States
Registered Postalcode: 90302

Mailing Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Mailing Address(line2):
Mailing Address(line3):
Mailing Country: United States
Mailing Postalcode: 90302

Administrative Contact:

Name: Expert Creations(SGNIC-ORGEX172868)
Registered Address(line1): 95 singapore rd.
Registered Address(line2):
Registered Address(line3):
Registered Country: Singapore
Registered Postalcode: 98273

Mailing Address(line1): 95 singapore rd.
Mailing Address(line2):
Mailing Address(line3):
Mailing Country: Singapore
Mailing Postalcode: 98273

Technical Contact:

Name: Expert Creations(SGNIC-ORGEX172867)
Registered Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Registered Address(line2):
Registered Address(line3):
Registered Country: United States
Registered Postalcode: 90302

Mailing Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Mailing Address(line2):
Mailing Address(line3):
Mailing Country: United States
Mailing Postalcode: 90302

Telephone: 310-672-6223
Pager / Mobile Number: na

EMAIL: richard@expertcreations.com

Billing Contact:

Name: Expert Creations(SGNIC-ORGEX172867)
Registered Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Registered Address(line2):
Registered Address(line3):
Registered Country: United States
Registered Postalcode: 90302

Mailing Address(line1): 336 w fairview blvd.
Mailing Address(line2):
Mailing Address(line3):
Mailing Country: United States
Mailing Postalcode: 90302

Name Servers:

Normally they're quite strict on this, so there're 2 possibilities:

1) Someone got shoddy and heads will roll (and knuckles dusted)
2) This is part of some elaborate social engineering ploy to get Singaporeans to procreate.
Collective remarks on NDP at the YR gathering:

We are wondering if when the RSM goes "baris, sediya" the floating platform will capsize.

Wth are the girl guides and other uniformed groups holding umbrellas?
Note to self: remember not to dump 7 cups of flour into mixing bowl later or the rising dough will blow the cloth covering away (as it is 3.5 cups already pushes at it).

Hmm, I realise I haven't cooked since my brother in law left. Got to use up all this food...
"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work." - Peter Drucker


Back in civilization.

Didn't get mugged, raped or pickpocketed. Or diarrhea - at least not yet.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I am going to bolehland later today and will return on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning.

What I'm doing:

Eat hawker food
Eat A&W
Laugh at Malaysians


Someone was telling me that 2 years ago, she was listening to University talks as a J2 and the SMU representatives sounded impressive until you analyzed what they said, when you realised they had no substance.

Clarins is selling snake oil: "If electromagnetic waves can penetrate walls, imagine what they can do to your skin?". Yes, and Dihydro Dihydrogen Monoxide is dangerous to us in large doses and should be banned.

I was walking by this place near Pasir Ris MRT and tried to buy their" bacon and egg pie". I was told that "we don't use bacon anymore; chicken ham" and got very pissed off. Luckily I saw a place selling Dim Sum nearby and got 2 char siew sou.

I saw a Korean 'BBQ Chicken' place at Cineleisure. There was no sign of the evil eye but unless they have special ingredients in their marinades (like teriyaki sauce) it's only a matter of time.

TV Mobile had this show on Chocolate which concluded: "Aprhodisiac or substitute? You decide". I knew I wasn't the only one to notice this!

Often those who are most eager to prevent imaginary offence are the quickest to issue real insult.

I swear, the people who use the most footnotes are those in law. Thio Li-ann's "Taking rights seriously? Human rights law in Singapore" in "Human Rights in Asia. A comparative legal study of twelve Asian jurisdictions, France and the USA". In just over 12 pages there are 226 footnotes. Some might say that this is because of Singapore's culture of vigilantly striking down those who defame politicians, but in reading foreign legal articles I find they footnote a lot also.
My Toy Someone asked me what are the advantages of being an Honours student in NUS.

I replied that we get to borrow more books (15 versus 10) and book study carrels in the library.

What I forgot to say was that we also get to check out library books (and CDs) for twice as long.

"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities." - Frank Lloyd Wright


As wizened Seniors, Jiannie and I are giving presentations on student exchange to ginna (incoming Freshmen) later today.

I was thinking of calling it: "Leaving this place behind... SEP. You've barely arrived in NUS. Now here's why you should think of leaving"

Sunday, August 05, 2007

"The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal." - Peter Brimelow


MFM: yes you should be more nasty to girls

you're mean but in a nice way
they know you mean no harm

whereas I have a truly vicious hatred for the feminine race

Me: and the masculine race?

MFM: they're better

Me: or less bad


MFM: you should care less about what women say
I don't know how you abide having so many female friends

Me: hahahahahahahahaahah
maybe I'm masochistic ;)
nah almost all of them are alright. that's why they're my friends

MFM: most of them sound quite bimbotic, but what do I know

Me: better bimbotic than bitchy right

MFM: not sure about that

Me: anyway not all gay people are like that

Someone: lots and lots are lor

i only know... hmm...
wah like *2* gay ppl who are not irritating

Me: and how many who are?

Someone: *loses count
this is including ppl i've encountered but have not gotten to know

usually cos they set off my gaydar 2336 km away
and i get so repulsed i make a quick escape
like, to antartica

Me: repulsed by their gayness?
tsk you homophobe =D

Someone: *proud homophobe aura&

seriously, gays in sg are stupid, bitchy and arrogant
and it's all the more annoying cos
it's smth like with poly kia

arrogant for nothing
so stupid they don't even know they're stupid

Me: heh

and overseas?

Someone: overseas they tend to be more normal

Someone else: they remind me of what my prof used to say:
"sometimes liberals are so liberal they become the mosst illberal of all."

Female friend: you shd have gone for camp, i had two freshie girls calling me up and asking how to bid in cors and what modules to do, and another was a call from my cousin

imagine how many cute freshie girls you can chat up with under the pretext of helping them
China Trip
Day 6 (28/6) - Transit: Shanghai-Hong Kong

This morning I woke up with diarrhea thanks to something I'd had in Hangzhou, so the few plans I had for the day were aborted. For lunch Yucheng, Johnny Malkavian and I had a Brazilian buffet for 55 yuan; they made money through drinks, which were priced at 10 yuan each for a small cup, but then Shanghai had just ruled or passed a law disallowing eating establishments restricting outside beverages being brought in so we brought water in. To encourage fluid intake, everything was salty. This was not surprising, except that even the salad was salty. Nonetheless, even though I ate only half as much as I would've if not sick, it was still worth it.

There was a woman who didn't know how a vizor was worn - she was wearing it like a welder's mask (covering her face).

[Addendum: J in comments:

"Actually, visors in china are meant to be worn like that. they're different from the normal visors if you scrutinize the designs. It's summer so the ladies there like to hide under shade. That's what the visors are used for."]

To get to the airport we elected for the only commercial maglev train in the world.


Even though the journey was only 8 minutes long, there was a First Class option which cost twice as much as the normal one.


Clear proof that markets don't always clear. Extra legroom wasn't enough to entice anyone.

The journey was fast but not as smooth as I expected (perhaps partly due to the rainstorm we zoomed through). Being on the maglev was like being on a noisy and rumbly plane. Of the 8 minute travel time, only 1-2 mins were spent cruising at the top speed of 490-1km/h. The rest was spent accelerating and decelerating. The train was so fast, it turned like a plane - by banking to one side.

At the airport I was feeling worse and worse, and cursing Hangzhou food all the way. On reflection, being like The Accidental Tourist and carrying canned food with me might not have been such a bad idea.

"Hail the Special Olympic Games, the hospitality of our harmonious airport accompanies your flight - Shanghai Airports Civilization Promotion Leadership Office"
Airport hospitality.

Due to bad weather and a military exercise, some flights were delayed. Ours was delayed by a grand total of nearly 4 hours (and since our flight went on to leave late, we arrived 4 hrs later than scheduled). Although they gave us 70 yuan meal coupons, this wasn't even enough to buy some of the main courses in the airport eateries (eg An exorbitant 88 yuan katsu don). Gah.

If you've psychosis you can't enter China. Wth.


China Easter Airlines (Eastern)

I've had experience with women before. Why else do you think I don't want a girlfriend?

Secret Asian Man archive (by Tak Toyoshima):

Asian Guy: hey, wanna go to this diversity conference I'm attending?

White Guy: Why? So I can sit in a room and listen to people talk about the evil white man?

Asian Guy: Is that what you think happens at these things?

White Guy: Isn't it?

Asian Guy: Well, yeah. I'm just surprised you knew.

Many of the others are good too.

I like how he addresses pertinent topics and existing entrenched attitudes while mocking "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" attitudes.
China Trip
Day 5 (27/6) - Hangzhou: West Lake
(Part 3)

Visiting a country with unsafe water in summer means spending a lot on it. I wonder how our ancestors survived in the EEA with so much sweating.

Exiting Leifeng Pagoda, I walked down one of the causeways bisecting the lake: Sudi.

I dipped my feet in the lake briefly, but not only was it not cold, it looked dirty so I quickly removed them.

Notice the speedboat. How unseemly, tsk.

(All the pictures before this point in this post were taken at "Watching goldfish on flowery stream")

At this point, a man in a bicycle came around shouting that he was selling ice lollies for the princely price of 1 Yuan (20 singapore cents). He had a cardboard carton full of what was literally frozen green bean soup on his bicycle so I aided in my protest at exorbitant concessionaires by giving him custom. It was slightly too sweet but still refreshing because of the lack of cream.


After walking for over an hour (albeit with many diversions), I reached the other end of Sudi.

This was supposed to be Wu Song's tomb. However, the fine print said it was built in the 1930s, destroyed in the 1960s and rebuilt in 2004. Neither the English nor Chinese information said all of this; I had to combine the two. Maybe this was to encourage bilingualism.

Sign urging us to love and care for the living plants.
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

On the bus back to the station I saw a "Prima taste. True Singaporean cuisine" restaurant in the same row as Starbucks, Dairy Queen and Ajisen Ramen.

I arrived at the train station with 1.5 hrs to spare. I trid changing it to a train leaving 1/2 hr earlier, but since it went to a different train station (Shanghai, not Shanghai South) I'd have had to pay 120% of my original ticket fee, so I forgot about it.

There was a "yiu2 you3 shu1 wu1" at the station, which a sign translated as "Tourist Bookstore". Unfortunately it was only for domestic tourists, since it only had Chinese books.

In the station there was a place marked "xiu1 xian2 hou4 che1" (waiting room to while away the time and rest). When I tried to go in, they tried to charge me 5 Yuan. Apparently it was a VIP lounge or something, or only for those on the most expensive train.

Sign seen in Hangzhou station: "Protect circumStance begin with me". Looks like "huai2 jing4" (environment, from the context) had been translated wrongly.

"Walk out the door happily, return home rejoicing"
Wth sign at the exit of the Hangzhou station waiting hall.

Back in Shanghai, I caught the last #3 train back, with 15 minutes to spare. However line #4 had stopped so I was deposited within 1 stop of the one I needed to get to. I was supposed to call YuCheng, Lin for directions but his line was engaged and he didn't subscribe to call waiting, so I just hopped in a cab (since it wasn't that expensive anyway).
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