"The happiest place on earth"

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Saturday, August 02, 2003

Toon Olympics

"let's have a competition shall we?
let's go on IRC and see who can get the most no. of girl's hp in 1 hour"


[On NUS] "its strange lor...during a role play @ orientation e seniors all say engin guys freshies all look like e nerdy type and e gals all dunno how to dress up one...so sad" - I thought he'd have expected that.

Haha my "how not to sing the song" mp3 (TBS's horribly done version of John Rutter's "The Music's Always There With You") is available for download on Kazaa from someone, even though it was wiped from my own system. It will live on forever!

I feel drained. A sad life can be tiring.

It's strange when, sometimes, when I'm in camp I want to get out, yet when I'm out I want to go back in.

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Tomorrow I'm attaching out, doo dah, doo dah
Tomorrow I'm attaching out, doo dah doo dah day
No more SOC! No more IPPT!
No more Krusty tekan me, doo dah doo dah day, hey!

I took a day off today because I wanted my last day in 42 for 6 months to be at least mildly pleasurable :)
Wow. People on Kazaa actually have Forever Red!

Just watched it. Reunion episodes are so fun.

You know Matrix-esque special effects are overused when even Power Rangers uses them. I don't like the techno edge to the effects (and indeed other parts of the show as well) though - it reminds me of why I didn't like Transformers: Beast Wars. Even Serpenterra looks very artificial now, not as attractive as when they spliced Kakuranger footage. Is this what we'll be seeing on Channel i next season? Erk.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

In case anyone wants it, music from:

Planescape: Torment

5 pages of music for:
Phantasy Star, ICO and "SAMPAGUITA"
Baldur's Gate II, Diablo II and (some foreign character 2140)
Metal Gear 2 The Other Side and 2 other games the titles of which I can't read
Icewind Dale, Warcraft III Reign of Chaos, ??? 4 and Baldur's Gate
Street Fighter III_ New Generation Arrange (sic) Album and "KOUDELKA"

With my collection eradicated, I fear I will be reduced to listening to semi-popular music due to lack of availability, time constraints and choice. I don't think I will be so bored as to click on random interesting sounding tracks on MP3.com, especially since there are much fewer tracks available for download there than before. Rarer tracks (eg a non-single artiste version, or an acapella version of "True Colors", like the ones I had by a Kokopelli Youth Choir and the Tufts Amalgamates) will also be hard to get since there's no automatic downloading nowadays like Audiogalaxy had.

[Update: I managed to get the Tufts' version. It's sleazy, but not as spine-chillingly intolerable as the original (?) pop version by Cindy Lauper. I compared the two, and in the pop version the woman sounds like, at different parts of the piece, like a whiny 5 year old kid, a gawkish 14 year old, a blasting 25 year old diva, a menopausal 55 year old and a throaty 80 year old grandma. What's more, she slides so effortlessly between voices. It's so creepy, it makes me wonder if they cranked it through a voice processor.]

Ed: Jan 2008 - PYXZ went down long ago, so here's a replacement:

Nice little pamphlet for the conference I went too.

And the SDP wonders why people don't take it seriously.
The ardous task of rebuilding commences...

H.M.S. Pinafore
Song No. 9 -- Act I
When I was a lad

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.

He polished up the handle of the big front door.

I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

He polished up that handle so carefullee,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee.

As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand.

He copied all the letters in a big round hand.

I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

He copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the pass examination at the Institute.

For the pass examination at the Institute.

That pass examination did so well for me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

That pass examination did so well for he,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

Was the only ship that he ever had seen.

But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

But that kind of ship so suited he,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

He never thought of thinking for himself at all.

I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!
I was asked to accompany Mr Kairen to the "International Youth Conference For Democracy", organised by the SDP. Unfortunately, a barrage of tragedies hit him at the last moment, and he informed me that he was broke at the last minute, and so couldn't dine with me. Later, he had to visit the doctor, so in the end I had to wait at Carlton Hotel for almost 2 1/2 hours (including their lunch break) listening to the panel, chaired by Chee Soon Juan, talk about Asian Values and Asian Democracy without even getting to witness the spectacle of Kairen lampooning Chee Soon Juan.

That said, many panelists and members of the floor seemed overly pessimistic, and held extreme views against the PAP, and this was to the detriment of the credibility of the conference, the SDP and Chee Soon Juan. One panelist even claimed that we have *no* freedom of speech and freedom of assembly. If that were the case, how come they were able to organise and hold this conference without any interference by the police? The same also claimed that the repression here was equal to that in Burma, except that here it was more sophisticated. Perhaps, but I prefer the view that it is just less severe and extreme here. Also hurting the credibility of the whole conference was how the discussion seemed to be steered sometimes by the chairman in certain directions not all at all related to the topic of discussion, but instead more to do with his personal goals. More flagrantly, there was one member of the audience - an SDP member, I suspect - who hijacked the discussion totally and started pouring out the usual litany of grouses against the government.

They also screened a home video of Mr Chee getting bundled into a van the time he got apprehended for speaking at the Istana without a permit. His characteristic flourishes of melodrama were evident in the video as he kept protesting his innocence and peaceful intentions loudly, and there was even this woman heard shouting in the background, "Free him! Free him! He hasn't done anything wrong!" just as he was bundled into the van. I wonder if they realise that such dramatic touches redolent of Channel 8 dramas only serve to discredit them in the eyes of most Singaporeans.

Regardless, they did bring up some good points. The reason why Singapore, Malaysia and other states do not want to "interfere" in other countries' "internal affairs" is that they fear - know - that their own houses are hardly in good order, and that reciprocal concern about their own "internal affairs" would raise many difficult and embarassing questions. Also, restricting the rights of the majority because of the harm a small minority might do (Read: the blanket suppression of all "sensitive" issues like race and religion in the name of racial harmony) is unjust, and can be compared to banning football matches due to the possibility of thugs starting a riot, or even suspending Parliament because of the possibility of fist fights (ala Taiwan).

I wonder how many people care about politics here. Most are probably jaded after witnessing the string of lawsuits brought against members of Opposition Parties, and crass materialism has replaced any nobler ideals that might have once burned in their souls.
A fortnight's assortment of detritus. Even more messy than usual:

Quote of the Fortnight: "When the going gets tough, the tough may get going, but the smart cut corners"

With all the recruits swarming us at odd hours, I think I now know why Tekong medics are so surly and unfriendly. The recruits keep taking MCs - in 14 days, I got 79 (IIRC) MCs, almost all of them from the recruits. That's like 19% of them seeing a non-SAF doctor once in 2 weeks. And poor me has to write the details of the MCs in the MC book, with help from my trust elves, and after that Frederick has to key the MCs into the computer. I think we should get a tip of $1 per MC - $0.70 for me and $0.30 for him (since writing it manually is more difficult).

Our sickbay has been renovated, so all the holes that the rats chewed in the walls have been patched up. Originally, I'd heard that the new walls were going to be made of metal, but in the end they used normal wall material for them. I'm wondering how long the rats will take to chew through the thing they used to seal the holes in the ceiling they normally run down from, as well as the walls.

I think that, except for the loss of recreation time, I prefer to do overtime than work in the day - it's much less crowded and noisy, I can wear more comfortable clothing, the radio is not tuned to 93.3FM so I can hijack it, and anyway they're just watching Chinese TV shows (often the inane Taiwanese ones) in bunk.

There was this guy going to DB, and he looked quite sad, so I offered him my nightsnack - a pineapple mooncake confection. At the sight of it, he visibly brightened. Twas the least I could do.

Our MO gets to rest whenever we have company runs of SOC RT, then he takes us running the next day, by which time he has recovered from the previous run, while we have not. Argh.

Some regulars like to run after they go to work, and before they go home. Not only is this running on company time allowed by their employer, it is tacitly encouraged. Not a bad deal, if you're the type who likes to run.

I think running in cadence (everyone running together), always a popular aim of runs, is silly. If everyone runs at a fast pace, slow people like me will drop dead. On the other hand, if everyone runs at a slow pace, most people will get bored.

While I was covering company games (their idea of games is to run before and after the games, incidentally), I got accosted by my CO who said I was the "famous Gabriel". My S3 was also there. Gee.

A recruit reported sick for week-long shin pain, had tender shins and got an X-Ray. I, on the other hand, have had tender and painful shins for 5 months now, and have reported sick for them 2-3 times, yet I've no X-Ray referrals. Why, why, why?!

RT personnel are not allowed to apply for days off on RT days. Gee, this means I have a choice of taking long weekends, or taking off on Monday, Wednesday or Friday and booking in at 10:30pm, or taking half days off on weekday mornings. I sure hope BMT ends soon. In other news, the CSM said it isn't her who made the book in timing earlier, so our misery is caused by other higher-ups!

Apparently Ban Xiong did not learn his lesson from the last time, and offered his services for unworthy causes again. When it came back to haunt him, I reminded him of his thoughts the first time he had been finagled, a true gem of wisdom equally applicable in this instance: "It kills to be altruistic. Little wonder why such pple die off. The more i brood on it, the more i hate myself. Dann (sic) the ***** bastards. I'll never help them again". My condolences go out to all who have been similarly affected by the machinations of ***** (what the asterisks mean, I am not at liberty to say).

My old problem is back! My CSM commented that I bounce and jiggle when I march.

Sleeping on 3 mattresses is more comfortable than 2, which in turn beats lying on 1. With 3 mattresses stacked on top of each other, the foam almost approximates King Koil!

Yaodong has been posted to 1PDF to run for them, escaping the tender mercies of his unit! We in Sungei Gedong are happy and he is happy. I'm not so sure about the people in Maju Camp, who will get to have "fun" with him like we did over the last year. Hopefully he will continue to be able to continue training for the SEA Games - all while being excused running in camp.

Apparently if I call the SAF Hotline, I could be talking to someone I know, who mans it. :0 Better make sure of who I'm talking to if I ever do...

One morning we had "Instant Bee Hoon" for breakfast. Didn't know they were so proud of serving up instant noodles instead of preparing it themselves. In these 2 weeks, I've also had 2 of the most atrocious meals I've ever had - one day it was Pseudo-Western food, but what they gave us was tasteless grilled/boiled chicken, sausage quarters in baked bean and frozen mixed vegetable sauce and sausage slices tossed with cabbage. The only redeeming part of the meal was the wedges - a most generous serving (though I think that if I had eaten at the 42SAR cookhouse, the server would have given us 2-3 wedges each only, and done whatever they do with the rest - maybe keep them for themselves), and crispy too. The other bad meal was when they had Nasi Briyani one day, but the dishes were: kang kong, prawns (SAF prawns are always bad), mutton cubes with mold growing on them, and a piece of limp, insipid looking chicken. Everyone, after seeing the food, rushed to the canteen.

The ATC canteen has played me out! Their curry puffs used to be nice and un-hot, making them the only ones I could tolerate, but one day I bit into one merrily, blissfully unaware, and after a few bites my mouth was aflame. Gah.

CD-Rs, CD-RWs and floppy disks are prohibited in SAF camps, mostly because of "security" reasons. Of course, since there are no floppy or CD-RW drives in SAF camps, the reality is exposed - they don't want people to bring in games to play, or pictures to look at. As for the fear of viruses - what self respecting virus would infect Microsoft Mail (1993)? Besides which, there are no points of entry into the Intranet in most terminals, anyway. Meanwhile, they use the same key for all of some types of vehicles, so anyone can steal them. But then again, who'd want muddy 30 year old vehicles which break down often?

Pioneer Magazine claims that the new Army Songs (eg 'Knock It Down') are being sung with gusto at BMTC. Somehow I doubt that some recruit out there is leading his platoon mates in singing, "Knock it down! Knock it down! So take it like a man and knock it down...).

For AHM this year, Vincent donated a princely $2, topped only by my contribution of $0.30. What can I say - no one wants to donate. Besides, all my friends are in the army. At least I wasn't forced to give $5 like last year, and I have Colonel Bernard Toh, Director of Public Affairs at Mindef, on my side. [Ed: This paragraph has been corrected thanks to a kind soul who pointed me to this url]

Our Medical Centre puppy got hit by something and died :(

The pandemonium that Junxiong predicted with Wang and me being Docu ICs has yet to ensue!

Bob does not like to be called "Bob". As such, with a Herculean burst of effort, I shall attempt refer to him in other ways.

NUH charges for parking at 3AM in the morning. Wth.

Wang was playing with my teddy bear when he was on duty. Hrmph.

Junxiong's Armour slogans: Armour - Slow And Indecisive. Once Armour, Always Suffer

http://www.arousal-agency.isfabulous.com/ is a site that someone discovered when I told him to try searching "uniform" on Yahoo Auctions. I knew people were selling them, but I didn't expect them to go to the extent of hiring a "lovely in-house model" to model the uniforms. Interestingly, the description for RJC, ACJC, HCJC and SAJC says that they are each "one of Singapore's sexiest junior college uniforms". However, NYJC and NJC uniforms aren't so praised.

Chinese Pop is, if anything, even more brainless and repetitive than English Pop. 93.3 keeps playing songs of the moment, which are repeated daily, and you have songs like one, "Ai Yau Tan Dang Dang ", by this Taiwanese/Hong Kong/whatever young girl called "Xiao Xiao" which goes, at some parts, "dum da dum da dum dum da da da da da da da da da da dum da dum da dum da da da da" - I suspect that the song writer ran out of ideas for lyrics, so he decided to fill the space with meaningless syllables.

I've expressed my feelings about Taiwanese TV before, but I seem to witness greater and greater depravity on it. On one day, they had this train carriage choke full of men, and they had to carry a woman over their heads from one entrance of the carriage to another while she was squealing, taking the opportunity, of course, to grope her along the way. I was also informed that before that activity, they had the same carriage full of girls in bikinis, and guys took turns to squeeze past the girls from one entrance to another. I know people like to indulge themselves - but on television? And I wonder why the girls keep coming back to this sort of shows. It must be great fun.

The news report I read on Uday and Qusay's deaths was disappointingly misleading. It claimed that "countries across the world expressed joy and relief", but to substantiate that point, only Bush administration officials were quoted. The report also said that many world leaders approved of this development, and quoted... Tony Blair. Outstanding.

Someone brought FHM into camp, and before Wee spirited it away (and claimed he lost it later), I managed to read an intriguing interview with males who had undergone sex change operations. Apparently, they are able to lubricate, and the constructed clitoris works like a real one. The wonders of surgery nowadays! You learn something new everyday. Suspiciously, the next month's issue of Newman had an in-depth feature on transsexuals, with a detailed account of the sex-change process.

Chemistry's sudden trip into post-modernism is disturbing. Not only did it confuse viewers, scaring people like Ban Xiong away, it was poorly done. The show was going along quite fine, until they decided to pull the "show within a show" stunt. I think they just ran out of ideas.

Apparently after returning from his degree course and having a daughter, the Evil One is much less evil. Good for him!

Apparently there is someone called 'Sunshine', whom someone is gushing over (she was from SCGS, so that explains it). Names are getting weirder and weirder these days. Is there any "Moonlight"s and "Stardust"s around?

The views of some illiberals on the gay issue so irked me that I wrote my 4th letter to the ST Forum. Needless to say, it was rejected, as it had to compete with 144 other letters on the same issue, and they still have to allocate space for the publication of trivial questions that people should direct to the relevant companies, statutory boards or government agencies. Suffice to say that it is heartening that most people were in support of equal rights for all, though it is saddening to see that there are people who will not grant to others the indulgences and privileges that have been granted to them.

The Christian backlash seems overly reactionary, though. Some of them think that there is a "homosexual agenda" (no more sinister, of course, than the Christian agenda). One calls the homosexual movement a lot more "rampant, militant and organised" than before. Funny, somehow those seem the perfect terms to describe the evangelistic movement. Most disturbing of all was the person who said that "the battle lines are now drawn". It's probably this sort of people who want to bring on a Clash of Civilisations.

I find it odd that both my hard disks failed at the same time. Also, my father keeps commenting on how it would be cheaper to get a new computer than keep repairing the current one, and advised that we shouldn't pay for any new hardware this time around, yet accepted the offer of a new 40GB HDD ($230, bargained down to $220 including labour) from the shop.

I wonder how much data recovery would cost (not the ridiculous quote I got below).


I see an unhealthy trend. Soon the only one sleeping in bunk will be me.

[On his spec course] After I come back, I won't do anything

Oh! I'm so sorry for you. It's one of the joys in life, having a 16g SAF drip set in you. In no hospital will you get a 16g drip set in you - I guarantee it.

[On ORD] My new rank is "Mr".

[Reservist MO on ECGs] To make your job easier, always use gel. [Reservist medic: If {it's on} the ladies, then nevermind {about the gel}].

[On SAF Cookhouses] Armour food is the worst in Singapore.

[On talking to me on the phone] I think I better, speak English.

[Me: So old - can become a prostitute?] Why not? Her mouth is so big. [Me: I thought guys like girls with small mouths] It's different now. [Me: I don't know, I've no experience]

[On my sleeping on 3 foam mattresses] You think you're what - Princess and the Pit ah? (Who do you think you are?, Pea)

[Safety slogan] danger could strikes anytime

[On the SAR-vivor rap] Why do you want it? Then you can irritate yourself. Play it, then you'll go 'ahhh!', run out of the room... Put it on repeat then you don't have to go into the room

[On eating soya beancurd while having a stomachache] [Me: Then {the} next morning you will lao sai {diarrhea} again. {We'll} have to inject you with Stemetil.] Stemetil's for vomiting. [Me: It can come out from both your orifices. How many orifices do you have?] A lot. [raucuous laughter ensues] That's not what I meant. [Me: Then what did you mean? How many orifices does he have?] Nose, ears, mouth...

[On ACJC] My school got not chiobus. [Me: I thought ACJC is the land of the...] Sluts and bitches. (has)

[Someone: You know your junior class has one very chio girl] [Me: ******* ******] [Wakes from his slumber on remembering his first 3 months of J2 life] Hey, jeebye! Wah lan eh! Her fucking skirt is damn short. Until here [chops hand 1/3 way down thigh]. When she sits down... [Pointing to armpits] Up here, damn tight. Everytime zaogeng. I think she wore her sec one uniform.

[On an ACJC arts class's photos] Eh jeebye. No chiobus. Kannina

[On pictures of ACJC girls] So small. [Someone: You like small and perky] I like Christy Chung

[On pictures of NUS girls at the beach] Hey! Hey! Sports bra.

[Someone on pictures of NUS girls at the beach: Engine so chio ah?] Engine hen2 shao3 chio1 dan4 chio1 shi4 hen3 chio1

[On pictures of NUS girls at the beach] [Sees back of RGS PE T-Shirt on a photo] Eh, RGS! [Sees back of girl's head] Eh, don't want

[On being psychiatrically ill] Look, I've got all the psychos on the planet, and they're all at 2PDF. They're not PES F... If Clarence can stay forever and forever I don't see why this guy should be PES F.

Hard Disk Recovery:

"If recoverable, we send the report to you on the cost. From previous home customers, we charge them in the range from SGD 650 - SGD 1300, excluding delivery cost."
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