The Jobs of War

As mentioned earlier, the posting above article has sparked off a vigorous debate on the S Econs list (mostly on non-economic issues, most of which the authors valiantly try to disguise as economic ones). Some points I have extricated from the interminable posts (ignoring the [admittedly few] patently absurd and brainless ones), and coupled with a few thoughts of my own and an ending by the irrepressible Chinx. Many of the social points I have excised as I have deat with many of them before and want to sleep soon.


On Mercenaries

Recent economic and business history has shown that outsourcing is often a way to both improve the quality and reduce the cost of a service or product. Indeed, the SAF has recognised this - Singapore Technologies provides much logistical and other support to the SAF, military research is not done in-house but instead by DSTA , and SFI provides the food. In the wider context of Singapore, we see CISCO being entrusted with important jobs - even though they are a private company, and Gurkhas are hired for the most important of protective jobs (eg protecting the Prime Minister and President), the last of which makes one wonder why Singaporean soldiers are not good enough to protect the highest powers in the land.

A refrain, oft-heard in a bid to quash the revolutionary - hence both heretical and preposterous - idea of hiring mercenaries, is that mercenaries are loyal only to money, and that they may defect to the higher paying side at any time, hence depriving the nation of security. However, corporations are profit-maximising, so it might be expected, following this logic, that they would charge as high a price, and offer as shoddy a product, as possible. However, this is not so, for the same reason that mercenaries do not switch employers in the heat of battle - branding. Just as companies do not produce defective products for fear of never being able to sell anything again due to customer dissatisfaction, no mercenary group worth their salt would defect, or it'd most likely never be hired again. In any case, seeing the state and attitude of many NSFs and reservists, it is not all that clear that in times of war, they would not defect, surrender or otherwise pack less than their intended punch.

Someone pointed out that since mercenaries fight for the highest bidder, "the side they are fighting for may not be the side that is 'morally correct'". However, when is war waged by sovereign states based on grounds of morality? Saddam Hussein's troops, most of them conscripts, invaded Kuwait in 1990, a clear case of a morally "incorrect" action (if one is wont to argue this way) - just because an army is financed by, and fights on behalf of a nation or state does not make its actions "morally correct". Another raised the issue of controlling mercenaries, which may not feel bound by the rules of International Conflict and military discipline, but then reputable and professional mercenaries adhere to these - more so than disgruntled conscripts who barely know what they are doing, at any rate. More practical considerations are that a small, besieged nation may not be able to outbid its neighbours, and that large mercenary armies do not exist, at least not in this region.

Hence, due to these and other practical considerations, I do not think that a wholy mercenary-based armed forces would be feasible, so perhaps Singapore could use mercenaries to support and supplement a core group of regulars. On reflection, though, since money is the main thing used to entice people to sign on, are the regulars not already mercenaries?


On the Economics of Slavery

A few people pointed out that one cannot really measure the value of defence, and of how society (read: the Government) values it and makes its cost-benefit analysis calculations. That may be true, but no one denies than defence is essential for a country. What we are trying to do is to find a more economically efficient (and hopefully equitable) way of providing it.

NS causes a misallocation of resources, as people who can otherwise contribute mightily to the economy are made - *forced* - to waste their time lingering in clerical positions. Besides, the Slave Pittance does not even begin to compensate individuals for their opportunity costs, let alone their contributions to the nation - the Powers That Be prefer to cut costs and instead dole out non-pecuniary benefits like "honour", "glory" and "the satisfaction one gains from fulfilling one's duty". However, to keep the current gross number of NSFs and to pay them fairly would bankrupt the government. The solution, I feel, is not to keep the Slave Pittance as it is, but to cut redundant jobs instead of doing what is known in economic parlance as "featherbedding" (here, enslaving people for the sake of it even though you have sufficient labour already, and many cannot contribute greatly to the defence of Singapore anyway).

Conscription may or may not be cost-effective - on the one hand, you have unmotivated, incompetent and angry troops, but on the other hand they are dirt cheap, at least in terms of pay. Their ineffectiveness mean that their numbers are deceptive, but then you do not need cannon fodder to be very effective, and they can just overwhelm the enemy with weight of numbers. Personally, I think that cutting the number of Slave Soldiers and making them better motivated through various means, among them pay (as someone once said - "You pay me peanuts, you get a monkey"), would result in a more effective army (and much less misery among the populace at large - but then policy makers do not have to worry about this form of social discontent, since it is not vented in the form of social upheaval or political change, thanks to the unique circumstances of Singaporean society and politics which I will not go into at present). It is always comfortable to revel in the inertia of the current system, as to change things would require too much effort. "The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking" - Galbraith.

If you want to err on the side of caution and get an overly-large army, you might as well go all the way, get Weapons of Mass Destruction and rely on the theory of Mutually Assured Destruction to safeguard Singapore - it'll be cheaper, at any rate. Or as another suggested, "do we even need a military at its present size to defend singapore in the first place. the saf would have you believe that, but thats a really dodgy source of info pertaining to this. all we really need is enough missile launchers and missiles to inundate any pesky neighbour's capital. seriously, destroy the leadership, you win the war."

NB: Better educated people are withheld from the job market for 6 months longer than less educated people. This is another glaring example of economic inefficiency.


On Gender and NS

Some women complain about the NS advantage of males, that they get higher salaries and fast promotions. On paper, this is justified as being compensation for the 2 - 2 1/2 years that they have lost, but in reality, many or most companies (outside of the government) do not have this NS pay differential, and for those that do, it is merely a euphemism for the underlying gender wage differential that exists in most jobs. In any case, it is doubtful whether the "NS differential" adequately compensates males for the opportunity cost of having wasted 2 years of their lives.


On NS being a merit good

"I like to think of defence as not only a public good but a merit good. Just as the governments in many countries make education compulsory (at least until P6 or equivalent), national service is good for us!"

Yeah right. Cursory reading of past entries, and listening to other disgruntled members of the Chain Gang should be sufficient to disabuse anyone of this notion. Anyhow, it is "a tax of 2 and a half years on Singaporean males that is channelled into a public good. Males bear the brunt of the burden, and get some of the benefit - hardly what I would term an optimal outcome." Further, this tax is applied only to male citizens, and not to female citizens, first generation PRs or "Foreign Talent" *cough* - who receive most, or arguably all, of its benefits as well.

To quote my excellent, enthusiastic, effete and erstwhile partner in education Chinx: "Most people who do say National Service is good for us tend to be the people who do not have to suffer through it. Or have yet to. "

"And one does get paid in NS too, not mentioning the free lodging and free food"

Sounds like prison, albeit with higher pay.

"Would each individual value the benefits accrued from National Service more than the benefits of not having gone through army? Congrats to those whose aims in life happen to involve joining the army, but for every such person, there could be many who do not. Perhaps the fact that we are not being allowed to decide for ourselves which path we should take is what irks the economist in us. "


On Regulars and NS

Since I am lazy, getting weary and do not wish to waste the efforts of the great Chinx, I shall quote him here:

"I wish I had your confidence in regulars.

The Army is renowned for not turning away any applicants from its doors, as well as a veritable diamond-crusted rice bowl. Do you think a policy like that is likely to attract smart, energetic people bursting with patriotic pride, or people who can't find a job anywhere else, especially considering today's tight job market?

In fact, this hesistancy in turning away applicants and firing regulars only exacerbates the inefficiencies caused by NS - for one thing, you're giving some regulars a FAR too high salary compared to what they could get outside, and for another, promotion in the army is based more on seniority than on performance, which means you could very possibly have an incompetent Lieutenant Colonel leading a team of crack troops into a suicide battle. To phrase it in an economic sense - you're paying the regulars far above their opp costs, and having a bad manager run a firm of talented individuals. "

Furthermore, promotion for regulars is largely based on seniority rather than performance, so the incompetent ones are hardly separated from the better ones. Performance will hence be affected since the incentives are not quite pegged to it. Essentially, "the army's pretty darn similar to a command economy. Everyone's got a job to do thats been allocated by the management, not determined by the market. Passing orders works faster then introducing laws.. the phenomenon of 'feather bedding', lack of incentives to work hard, improve etc etc.".


The Gospel of He Who MUST Not Be Named

The abovementioned advances his pet theory, that NS is a tool of social engineering leading to both social and political stability - it breeds low level resentment and acts as a convenient target of grumbling, distracting the male populace from other issues, while at the same time leaving them with a subconscious feeling of helplessness against the power of the system.

When I mentioned that girls do not go through NS, he retorted (in person, no less!) that "girls don't start revolutions",

I have yet to conclusively evaluate the merits of his theory, but I must say that there is some modicum of truth in it.


On Social Cohesion

"I don't think that National Service can guarantee that Singapore will not "fragmenting from internal conflict". First, are the problems in "the Philippines, Indonesia, most of Africa, and in earlier years Eastern Europe" due to economic inequality or poverty? I cannot remember the exact statistics but the United States does seem to have a serious case of inequality too, as would most countries that believe in the market as it is inherent in the system that there will be inequalities (perhaps this can be another topic for discussion at some other time).

Second, is the driving force of these coups pent-up violence, or a lack of National Service? I am not sure if introducing National Service would have prevented either internal conflict or inequality/poverty for that matter. If anything, if the idea of having "disgruntled military men" is scary, I wonder how I should react to having half the Singaporean population having military training."

and

"on the entire idea of a social leveller, again, i find this idea completely repugnant. what you're basically saying is that we should, through compulsory NS, disadvantage the talented and educated so that the untalented or uneducated stand a chance. first off, this is a Pareto loss - it's a race to the bottom. you're making the rich worse off, not making the poor better off. that fails John Rawl's test of social justice.

furthermore, if, as so many appear to believe, the poor will be the majority of the people doing voluntary NS, then they will be the primary beneficiaries of higher pay for NS men. similarly, the rich will be the ones foregoing the NS income _and_ paying the higher (progressive) taxes. voluntary NS means a transfer of wealth from the rich to the poor. so if your problem is social equity, then paying people to do voluntary NS actually helps in that department. and it does so in a fair manner that helps the poor, rather than the current unfair manner that harms the rich without helping anyone."


Conclusion

Responding to some ("... people like us who are bored and can't STAND idiots who don't know what the BLOODY FNARK THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT with regards to Neverending Slavery will execute them publicily (sic)"), though not posting the below on the list, Chinx puts it best, as he has always had a more dramatic flair than me:

"It is at times like this I appreciate the knowledge that there is very little any one of you can do to touch me for what I say on this mailing list now that I am no longer a student of RJ. Because it allows me to say exactly what I feel without fear of repercussion, and what I want to say now is this.

You, sir, are an idiot.

Continuing to argue the merits of my case will be rather akin to trying to punch a hole in the wall - serving no purpose but to cause me pain and anguish, the thickness of the wall stopping all attempts at breaking through, and only incur the wrath of my neighbours who think I'm making noise just for attention.

Suffice it to say that as, ironically, of all people, Shengwu and the others sympathetic to my viewpoint have eloquently stated our case. You, on the other hand, have put forth nothing but childishy naive and simplistc arguements.

If this is the kind of S Econs students we're getting nowadays, it's no wonder RJ is in the spotlight of negative press so much nowadays."

I'm trying to decide whether this year's birthday was more painful than last year's.

This year, I had a 8km route march in the morning, and when I got back my head was pounding, my feet burnt with each step and I was so exhausted I went to concuss.

Last year, on the other hand, I was charging hills outfield and riding around in an APC.

Bah.

I just reserved my flight. Hopefully the SAF won't throw any monkey wrenches into my plans this time.

The Jobs of War
Stephen Fidler and Thomas Catn
Financial Times
August 11, 2003

An excellent article on outsourcing defence, the posting of which on the RJC S Economics Mailing List has sparked a lively debate, of which I shall comment on in a future (probably next) post.

"Regimentation and discipline is extremely useful as a form of employment for CSMs and RSMs" (with apologies to Galbraith)


I can't believe it's been 16 months since I last consumed a day of home MC.

People like to say that there's no point getting 1 day ATTN C when you're already in camp if you do not stay-out, but then these people still book out for nights off, so I don't understand the inconsistency.

When I walked into the Medical Centre after lunch on Monday, it was full of recruits. The sickbay was totally filled - 10 recruits were on beds, 4 on stretchers and 3 sitting down, and half were on drips (probably more were prescribed drips, but they didn't have enough drip stands). In all, I filed about 100 dockets and got 32 medical appointments to make that day. I wonder how long they'll be traumatised before we are swarmed again. Probably not before -we- get over our own trauma.

Ever since I put up signs on the Docu Room door urging it to be kept shut, it's been left open more. I swear people are leaving it open on purpose.

Our "Poor, suffering Local Third Sergeant" Tan Ban Xiong daily makes himself useful. While I was struggling to prepare 19 X-ray appointments, the self proclaimed "Master of Office" (sand Frontpage and Access) hit upothe idea of printing the envelopes, instead of stamping them and then writing on them. So not only is it faster, it is more legible. By acts such as these, he has shown that he richly deserves his (local) promotion!

HQ Company, 42SAR seems to be getting more and more regimental and generally a less pleasant place to live in. I dread my return, especially since I won't have much leave to clear after my planned visit to my sister and brother in law next month. Even though I am attached out, they are trying to stretch their evil tentacles across the Time-Space Continuum and grab onto me - last I heard, they were trying to get me to do 5BX at 5:25am daily, as well as RT on alternate days. If that dreadful scenario comes to pass, the benefits of being attached out will be lessened (and I won't even have the extra $50 as a sop to comfort me). Maybe, as a desperate ploy, I should try to cut my attachment short, and so pull them down for the Best Unit Competition.

The purpose of enforcing Regimentation and Discipline (R&D) is supposed to be that it makes people better soldiers. Oddly enough, R&D seems to apply less the higher someone's rank is (so much for being an example), but I digress. Now, a source in 41SAR, 42's brother unit, told me that they are as slack (or slacker than) 42/HQ used to be when I first came. They don't march, don't eat breakfast and wake up at 7am. Still, they are placed higher than 42SAR in the Best Unit Competition, and it seems their results for ATEC (the unit's final exam) are going to be quite good. Seems that R&D does absolutely nothing to improve a unit's performance or fighting ability, and just breeds resently and pent up anger, frustrating people and making them worse soldiers.

Oddly, since morning 5BX was instituted for RT personnel in 42, SOC RT has disappeared. Maybe the Powers That Be think that somehow, doing pushups helps you in SOC. The logic behind that is really warped.

I wonder what freaky material the SAF No 4 Uniform is made of. It's 50% Cotton and 50% Nylon, supposedly, but somehow it does not behave like either of those fabrics - even if it is less wet than, and sunned more than normal clothing, it smells more.

After the clerks wash the toilet, they spray Jasmine 3-in-1 air freshener ("with aromatherapy essential oils"). What dedication!


Perhaps the irritating of the current crop of popular Chinese Pop songs is by Jay Chou. What drew me to (or rather, repulsed me from) it was this woman in the background shrieking continually in vibrato, and Latin chanting at various points in the song. On asking some people, I found out that it was about some guy who loses his faith in Catholicism but still believes in God. Songs nowadays are getting really weird.

In a trailer for "First Touch", we see a pregnant Malay woman who is told by the doctor that if she has her child, she could go blind. She then refuses to abort the child, saying that "children are a blessing from God. If I abort the child, what sort of mother would I be?" (Looks like not all blessings are good). We then hear "Amazing Grace" (for a Muslim?) played in the background. Well done, Medicorp.

"True Love" is a game popular at present among some medics and drivers. At first, I thought it was a normal Japanese Dating Sim. But then, the Japanese are never normal, are they? One day someone excitedly told me that he had unlocked a new girl in the game - he brought a cat home, had some item, and the cat turned into a girl and had sex with him. Bah.

Channel 8 is holding auditions for some Supermodel contest, and the age range for entrants is 14-21. They're getting younger and younger these days.

I wonder what the fuss is about bar-top dancing, with many bars holding and contests to mark its legalisation. Listening to some passionate souls, you'd think Prohibition had just ended.

US soldiers in Iraq are airing their grievances over the Internet, and some even identify themselves. I wonder if anything has/will happen(ed) to them. I'm sure that there, as here, soldiers are warned against this kind of thing. Soldiers are supposed to seek redress through official channels, but when the highest level of appeal is Dubya, the very one who threw you into this war, I don't think the official channels are going to get you very far.

Why North Korea is so obsessed about getting a Non-Aggression Pact with the USA signed is puzzling. We all know that George Bush is not exactly scrupulous about honouring his treaty commitments, and neither is Kim Jong Il. Definitions are also hard to agree upon - Pyongyang is always going to try antics like racing patrol craft across the 38th Parallel, and then claim that it was a mistake, or that it was allowed for under the Pact. I suspect they know the pact will never be signed, so they're just stalling.


Quotes:

Recent research shows that people believe that Yun Nam is the most effective hair care centre and there are 8 times more Singaporeans who believe that Yun Nam is more poplular than its competitors (popular) (So their advertising campaign is good. So?)

[Me: 'Bob' is a very common name] So is 'cesspit'.

[On my scribbling on my weekly piece of paper] This is like the Islamic writing in the Koran

He needs his beauty sleep. [Me: It doesn't seem to be doing much good] *laughter* [Ban Xiong: One of these days, I'll smother you with my pillow] [Me: Who, me or Melvin?] [Ban Xiong: Both]

[On his rare cookhouse breakfast, including a Tau Sar Delight] Breakfast today was fucked up. How come the curry puff was sweet?

[On shitting on a squat toilet without a pipe] I must use water and my left hand. [Me: And the water comes from the toilet bowl?]

[On my filing 100 dockets] You finished filing all the dockets? [Me: Yeah, man. I finished them all last night] I'm so proud of you

[On not booking out to eat on a night off day] I want to save money. [Me: Then why do you always go to the canteen?] Shut up [Ed: Said person probably ended up eating instant noodles in the bunk, instead of cookhouse food].

[Email on being away] **** will overlook [Company Name] for this period of time (oversee)

[On me] He will go and hunt him, like he hunted the secondary school girls at NCC cover... He will step in front of the secondary school boy or girl and ask, "Excuse me..." (haunt, haunted, would)

[To me] There was this guy, when I was attached to AMS [Army Medical Services]. He went round taking pictures of secondary school girls zaogeng... He talks like you.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of seeing He Who Must Not Be Named.

He seemed incredibly interested at what I would report of the meeting and pleaded with me not to describe how immensely gratified I was to be able to finally glimpse his elusive visage, so I will not gush about how wonderful it was to light his cigarette for him and cough profusely when he breathed the cigarette smoke in my face.

Anyhow, the only thing I will say is that I find his companion remarkably like my sister in being pedantic :)


My 5 month old on-and-off cough seems to have worsened. I think I hear the air wheezing in my lungs.

Clay Kitten Shooting - Healthy, wholesome fun for the whole family!

More dumb laws

False advertising - Ad parodies

Funny clips - Taiwanese educational institution site

Webcam-ed School - So much for the RJ video.

The wonders of airbrushing - I never knew so much was possible! Shocking :0

Macintosh testimonials from, among others, an Amish, and a Japanese guy with buck teeth and a yellow raincoat.


Now I *FINALLY* know who See Ar Em (Read: CRM) is!

http://community.webshots.com/user/cheryln_chang

Actually she doesn't look that CRM-ish. If CRM is like that, CFM musn't be too spectacular either.

"no she was more crmy in sch. maybe she got sick of being *****"

There was this guy who hyperventilated and fainted while doing office work, coming into the Medical Centre as a casualty. I guess office work these days can be quite taxing - it's a jungle out there. Some things you just gotta see to believe (well, I didn't see it, but I saw Melvin keying in the records).

It's lucky that I was attached out in time, for the day after I "left", RT personnel started having to do 5BX every morning at 5:25am, the same time as the recruits. They are also not allowed to apply for leave or off, or take long weekends. If this continues, people are going to disappear 3 months before ORD, due to the accumulated off. I anticipate lots of MCs coming my way in the next few weeks. If they are willing to take such extreme measures just for the sake of a silly and unimportant competition, I shudder to think what it would take for them to condone killing.

The recruits had a weapon presentation parade and, as with all parades, I learnt new commands. Apparently "walkie walkie company" gets one guy from each company to march to the fore, "dalit senjata" commands the men to hold their rifles in their left hands and to put their right arms about the shoulders of the people to their right, and there is no word for "commanding officer" in Malay - the parade commander shouted, at one juncture, "hormat [something indistinct] Commanding Officer". Still, it's not as ridiculous as the ultra-long command to get people to cheer "hip hip hooray!". Besides ridiculous commands, there were ridiculous bonfires - one set up at each corner of the parade square, and small Deepavali-esque lights lined the perimeter. Maybe they intended a celebratory BBQ with the former.

I saw this SAF anti-smoking poster which had a picture of 2 legs in boots, and one boot was chained to a ball. The text read: "Why let yourself be a slave to cigarettes? Challenge yourself! Join the SAF Smoking Cessation Clinic and take control of your life!". Immediately, the following came to my mind: "Why let yourself be a slave to the SAF? Challenge yourself! Go AWOL and take control of your life!". It is oft-said that going AWOL will not solve anything, and only hurt people you love - your parents, girlfriend and others. I contend that going AWOL solves nothing - if you get caught. Further, the logic about hurting your loved ones may sound plausible, but a simple analogy will put paid to the lie. Assume that you are asked to pay protection money by gangsters. If you do not pay, they will trash your house and beat up your family and girlfriend, which will "hurt people you love". Therefore, we should all pay protection money!

We had finished vaccinating recruits and had extra prepared serum-filled syringes, and Melvin was playing with one when he shot me with one, squirting the left half of my face, and some went into my eye. Evil tellytubby!

My observations of the arts of skulduggery during my tenure so far have led to conclude that it just goes to show that when silly requirements and policies exist, ostensibly to improve the quality of work or life, people will just find a way around them, and that this will lead to the original goals being compromised more badly than if the silly requirements and policies had not existed. The spirit of doing things merely for the sake of doing them and to stay out of trouble pervades the working climate, while the shadow of the past gets in the way. I think having no certification or quality checks would result in better work quality, but the SAF would never give up its ISO certifications, of which it is so proud (how does reaching ISO 9002 standard make them fight better?). Besides, what would regulars fight for then, if not for meaningless ranking?

If they ever get down to changing the system, they might as well, to ensure accountability and responsibility, change performance appraisals so those under you have to rank you, in addition to your superiors.

It's so hard to find elves these days - even after I was promised "helpers", those I had were posted to the company line, leaving me with no 2ic and thus no one to take over me in the event that I am not around. Those who are left are also very good at hiding. Santa is getting frustrated.

My donation of $0.30 for the Army Half Marathon was rejected as being insultingly low (which might or might not have been the original intent), so I was forced to cough up another $1.70 to make the total $2. Bah.

My latest hare-brained scheme to get rid of rats went horribly awry. I noticed that the rats run into the pantry via 2 holes - one under the sink and one in the ceiling where a pipe rises into the blackness. I plugged the former with Sudol, and for the latter I tried to make it slippery so the rats would slip and fall to a gruesome death on the counter below. The former was easy, but for the latter I needed something which would not run or evaporate and was very slippery. One or two others suggested vehicle grease, so a few days later I went to the Workshop to get some. After coating the pipe and working terribly hard to wash the grease off, I waited. For a few days, I saw no rats in the pantry, and the grease coating lay undisturbed. After a few days, though, grease smears appeared on the wall and on the counter. Oh well. At least it kept them away for a few days - and I still haven't seen any rats scampering about. May they starve to death.

I wonder why the SAF bothers to trial people, for their trials are not anything normal people would recognise as such - the defendant is already pronounced guilty, and the trial is merely to decide on a punishment.

Ivan, one of our new medic, reminds me of Julian. It's not just the hair, face or the complexion. They also both have similar senses of humour and voices. Even the personalities have some similarities - for example both are kinda easy going. Freaky.

Xiankun and Yong Gen will be going for the Combat Medic Spec II course with Ban Xiong and Jason. Haha.

Weizhang was wearing this very nice red shirt with a gas mask on it and the words: "F*** the army. Make love, not war". I wonder if the shirt's available in my size.

Jonathan has this unhealthy obsession with some people, especially **** ***. He's been making references to her whenever he can.

Someone was describing his gastronomic adventures, but despite his descriptions of culinary orgies, it hardly shows on his frame. Gah, some people can eat as much as they like without any visible side-effects.

I've been reading very little these days, but somehow people think I read a lot. It's been a while since my last spurt, so I think it must be my aura.

Someone brought in Teenage Magazine's August issue, and as usual, it was a blast reading it. Some interesting dislikes that people listed for the penpal section: people who love to go to parties, "smokers" (haha), "5566, F4, energy and other actor-turned singers", "betrayers" (?) and "those who act cool and cute". There was also this "Sec 3 girl who is looking for hardcore girls and boys", whatever that means - it's even more incomprehensible than asking people to "stay cool and funky". Oddly this month, girls bucked the trend of more than half of the penpal page being taken up by guys, but then some things don't change - half the guys wanted to know girls only, while the girls were fine with knowing people of any gender. All in all, I was most amused/disturbed by this 19 year old guy who wants "to have a steady girlfriend aged 14-16".


Flash Mobs have been storming cities worldwide. Supposedly there was one in Singapore, but if so, I didn't hear about it. It sounds rather fun, but maybe the police would throw all participants into the lockup for "Illegal Assembly".

Some people were trying to convince me that, contrary to the great proportion of published literature, survey results and common perception, females are actually more prurient than males. I think this is mostly because of projection, as males project their fantasies onto the other gender, and also a desire to assuage their guilt, fears and inadequacies. Of course, most people don't like to reveal potentially embarassing details to others, but their theories seem to be based on anecdotal evidence from a biased group of samples (people they have slept with?). Or maybe I just move in different circles.

Taiwanese television causes me to be bemused. Why do Taiwanese women like to watch and take part in all those shows which provide men with cheap thrills? I suppose they themselves get thrilled as well. And then you have the schoolgirls, who often form a block in the audience, who sit there in their school uniforms watching the show unfolding rapturously. Do their schools actually approve of their outings? Maybe they don't have the same standards for "wholesome" and "educational" school outings that they have in some other places.

Chemistry is coming to a close. Looks like they didn't bungle up the post-modernist stunt too badly, but nevertheless, I think it would've been better to stick to the original premise. Another thought: Listening to Rui En speak English with the clipped and precise "RJ" accent, you wouldn't think she was a Chinese Pop singer. It's rare to find people bilingually fluent.

The latest production from Jack Neo, Home Run, is very cheapskate. Not being able to think up a story of their own, they just ripped off Children of Heaven, and from what I've seen and read, it does not do the latter justice. It disturbs me so much that everytime I see the trailer, or a featurette on it, it gets my hackles up.

The latest Speak Good English Movement has the motto: "You don't have to use big words to speak good English". I agree. In the same spirit, here are some corollaries: "Food doesn't have to be tasty to make it edible - mushy instant noodles and burnt rice are enough to live on!", "You don't have to focus to take visible photos" and "You don't have to be a perfectionist to get the job done - do as little as you need to".

It seems that everyone knows where they want to go and what they want to do, and I am in the minority. The fact that this doesn't bother me as much as it should - bothers me.

A friend cried when she lost her mp3s a few years back. I am not alone in my misery!

Yisa lost 20kg in the 2 months after ORD. Wah. Now he's much lighter than me!

I saw Zhengyu with this Sec 4 RI boy in Bishan, and the latter asked me, "Are you the webmaster of 'gssq'?". Doh!


Guy on SoulSeek: this performance of goldberg variation by J.K [Keith Jarret] is very, very poor. dl a better version. I warned you.
Me: so why do you keep it? ;)
Him: I use it as an example how bach may be misinterpreted by dilletants
try wanda landowska`s interpretation on harpsicord

Some people are so hard core :) I've found people with, like, 5 versions of the complete variations.

I really miss Audiogalaxy. Now where am I going to get the Geographical Fugue from?


Quotes:

[On a girl he knows from Renewal, a MMORPG] Yesterday I asked one of them to help me buy something. Girls like to queue up.

[On taking a day off] What are you doing tomorrow? [Me: Something I haven't done in a long time] [Someone: Pah Chiu Cheng {masturbating}] [Someone else: Think of **** *** and Pah Chiu Cheng]

[On why everyone thinks Taiwan is full of pretty girls, but that not being the case] It's just like Japan. All the beautiful girls go and pai1 AV [film adult videos]

[On not being able to sleep] I need powder.

[On Rui En] Her eyes, her expression is quite rubbish.

[On Rui En and a Channel 8 serial] Your idol is on TV. [I rush out and am dejected] [Me: Cheh. I thought it was Asian Prince]

[Zhengyu's Sec 4 RI friend] Are you the webmaster of "gssq"?

[On my teddy bear: New teddy bear smell] Some girl.

Eh! Jiabao! [Me: Eh! Bob!] Eh, shit.

[On playing 'Ganguro Girl'] There was this time when I had to keep pressing "up"

[On patriotism] The only thing I like about Singapore is the food

[On my dragging an ice cube across my chest] Wah lao... Trying to arouse yourself... Eraser nipples... Your nipples are like the erasers on the end of the pencils.

Dear All,

I have just read and signed the online petition:

"The RIAA and the Artists versus P2P File Sharing and the Loyal Consumer "

hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com, the free online petition service, at:

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/riaawar/

I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, and consider signing yourself.

Melvin introduced me to Soulseek as an alternative to Kazaa, where it is hard to find non-mainstream stuff, you always get porn when you don't want it, and people are being scared away by the RIAA. Indeed, though the download speeds on Soulseek are slow, you can find many things. For example I found many people with the full version of Handel's Messiah, and 3-4 versions of Banchieri's Contrapunto bestiale alla mente. For some reason too, it reminds me of Napster.


Why is it so hard to find non-guitar versions of Albeniz's Asturias? Grr.


Virus Origin - A Manmade Retribution - A weird commentary piece on how our pollution of the environment and playing God led to SARS, by someone who probably believes in the Gaia theory.

Heil Dubya!


Was inspired to make this after seeing a "No God, No Peace. Know God, Know Peace" bookmark:

The commentator for NDP this year claims some of the soldiers from 1st Guards voluntarily extended their ORD dates by 2 months just to take part in NDP.

wth?!

Someone: "the NDP caused my browser to crash"

I'm so happy I'm not at the rubbish point at this year's NDP :)


Someone else:

"CDF [Ed" Chief of Defence Force] looks like Kim Jong Il ahahah

cannot make it lah
doesn't look garang at all
got no badges also"


Apparently Mr Sentient is still getting enquiries on Hunter-Seeker, his little Neopets program.

The Copyright Cage - Bars can't have TVs bigger than 55 inches. Teddy bears can't include tape decks. Girl Scouts who sing "Puff, the Magic Dragon" owe royalties. Copyright law needs to change. By Jonathan Zittrain

Conceptual Guerilla's Strategy and Tactics - Defeat The Right In Three Minutes - Sounds alarmist, but strangely, almost all of it strikes a chord with me. Which just shows you left wing I am *g*


Veil go a long way - Burqa covered band in Afghanistan with songs like "He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Burka" by "The Hollies" (wth?!)


Three Hundred Proofs of God's Existence

Some of the funniest ones (do read the rest, as there are many other great "proofs")

8. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

34. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

36. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

42. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

77. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY
(1) I've had religious experiences that can't be explained unless I'm insane or God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

93. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TOUNGES
(1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish that sounded to me kind of like Russian.
(2) But neither he nor I know anything about Russian.
(3) The only explanation is God.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

103. ARGUMENT FROM EXODUS
(1) If the Exodus story has any basis in historical fact, then God exists.
(2) Some guy found some chariot wheels at the bottom of the Red Sea.
(3) There is absolutely no other way that chariots could get to the bottom of the Red Sea.
(4) This means the Exodus story is true.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

104. ARGUMENT FROM MARTYRDOM
(1) The apostles would not have died for something they knew wasn't true.
(2) Atheist gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom.
(3) Obviously those examples were fooled by Satan.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

106. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF DISPROOF
(1) You can't prove God doesn't exist!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

107. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (I)
(1) I once experienced something I can't explain.
(2) Atheists offer several possible, natural explanations.
(3) You're just guessing! I was there.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

138. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (I)
(1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands.
(2) One piece of the rubble sort of looks like a cross.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

143. ARGUMENT FROM SPAGHETTI
(1) A few people saw something weird in a bowl of spaghetti.
(2) Some Catholics believe that it is the Virgin Mary.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

169. ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP
(1) I went to a party and took LSD.
(2) I saw demons attacking me.
(3) Then Jesus came and drove the demons away.
(4) So I joined the Assemblies of God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

172. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) When I pray, either it comes true or God has a better plan.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

182. ARGUMENT FROM RAIN (aka PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT III)
(1) I wanted it to be a sunny day.
(2) I prayed it wouldn't rain.
(3) We had two thunderstorms.
(4) Obviously, God didn't want to answer my prayer.
(5) Of course not! What a selfish thing to pray for! How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires!
(6) The rain was God's punishment for my selfish desires.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

218. ARGUMENT FROM ABUSING THE BODY
(1) One time, I fasted for three days straight, prayed on my knees for hours, and didn't sleep, either.
(2) At the end of that time, God answered me.
(3) You see, you just have to mortify the flesh and accept the things of the spirit in order to meet God.
(4) No, there is no possibility that it was a hallucination!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

219. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY (used by a number of saints)
(1) I woke up last night with a feeling of indescribable pleasure and joy.
(2) It couldn't have been sexual; I'm holy and never have thoughts like those.
(3) So the ecstasy must have come from God.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

254. ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

257. ARGUMENT FROM NOT-BELIEVING
(1) The New Testament says people like you would question us.
(2) You question us.
(3) Therefore the bible is true.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

259. ARGUMENT FROM METEORS (FALWELL'S ARGUMENT)
(1) God hates gay people.
(2) God is merciful.
(3) Disney World held a Gay Day parade.
(4) God could punish Disney World by sending hurricanes, earthquakes, and possibly a meteor to Florida.
(5) God didn't, thus proving both postulate 1 and 2.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

263. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL ABILITY
(1) I prayed to God, and then lifted a car off my trapped puppy.
(2) I couldn't have done that without God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

275. ARGUMENT FROM GOOD AND BAD BEHAVIOR
(1) Sometimes I do good things and sometimes I do bad things.
(2) When I do something good this PROVES that God, my Guardian Angel etc are helping me to be good.
(3) Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Oh God help me to be strong and steadfast against temptation till I die so that You God will not in Your infinite mercy, send me to Hell.
(4) When I do something bad this PROVES that the Devil has tempted me to do EVIL.
(5) Whatever I do it proves that either God or the Devil is real.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

294. "TRUE BECAUSE IT IS INCONSISTENT" ARGUMENT
(1) If the Bible were cooked up by some smooth-talking manipulative authors, it would have been perfect and seamless and without any apparent inconsistencies.
(2) But the Bible IS inconsistent, erroneous, and plain goofy at many places
(3) So the Bible is NOT a product of some smooth-talking manipulative authors.
(4) Hence the Bible is the word of God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

323. ARGUMENT FROM A VIDEO I WATCHED WITH MY DAD
(1) Me and my dad watched this video where the Virgin Mary appeared on a building in Egypt. No, it was kinda blurry... lots of people saw it though and they were pointing at it.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

329. ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE
(1) Doesn't it just make more sense that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good deity created the world out of nothingness, from magic, essentially, and then punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then incarnated himself in human flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he could break his own rules, and then went through hell on a temporary basis and then went back into the sky and promised to come back and take everyone who believed in him to this heaven no one has ever seen?
(2) Well, doesn't it?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

335. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM IN INDIA
(1) [non-believer asks if the theist would still call his religious experiences Christian if he had been raised in another country]
(2) Would you call your agnostic experiences agnostic if you had been raised in India?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

337. MODIFIED TRILEMMA ARGUMENT
(1) Jesus was either lord, liar, or lunatic.
(2) Can you PROVE He was a liar or lunatic?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy (and the U.S. Invasion of Iraq) (c) 2003 anarchie bunker

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?

A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government.
People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?

A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?

A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Q: Good night, Daddy.

I suppose when it comes to Shawn Ban, people are divided into one of two categories - one group thinks he rocks, and another thinks he sucks. I am pretty thick skinned, so I daresay I am able to enjoy his flair (sans any sports commentary) most of the time, even when I am the target of his acerbic pen (or keyboard).

Now, in his latest entertaining stunt, he has been telling the whole world that Melvin Tay is going with Suzanne Wong. This has prompted a letter of protest from the aforementioned, who has requested that it be sent to "many many people", which is why I will reproduce it below:

"Dear Friend,

My Name is Melvin Tay. I Know you may have heard some Nasty rumours about me perpetuated by a Boy named Shawn Ban, like I Love Soozie, but it isn't true. The rumours all started here http://www.eatmejusteatme.50g.com/131.htm - Last Paragraph
The next time somebody tells u something silly, go and find out the truth for yourself. Please send this message to many many people. May peace be with you."

I am just felled with laughter.


On a more serious note he, who scolded me for my interest in a certain unfortunate tragedy, has written many paragraphs coldly analysing it. How ironic.


Boy am I lucky I signed up for Pyxz when it was still free. It's gone from being free to costing $5 for a lifetime subscription to - now - $5 a month and $45 yearly.

Wah.

Sent to me by mail:


Dear [name of a boy],

It has come to my attention that you have been selected as a potential student of ACS(I). We are indeed pleased to welcome you to our big
family. However, there are a few improvements that have to be made for you to be qualified to be one of us.

Firstly, your physical appearance needs alteration. According to our school's tradition, our attire includes:

1. spiked hair
2. pants worn on the hips
3. almost completely hidden socks
4. shirts not tucked in properly etc.

Furthermore, you must have bushy eyebrows and tan skin to be eligible. Thus, we would appeal that you make this changes ASAP.

Secondly, other than outward appearance, what goes on inside is crucial as well. We adhere struictly to our 3 acts: Act Cool, Act Attitude
and Act Poser, stressing on poser-ism as the basis of our image.

Act cool: All ACSI students are required to be adept in pretending to be cool in the way bimbos will fall for the trick, even though it is obviously not the proper definition of "cool". We do not want our students to be cool but to ACT cool. This will include mannerisms like acting nonchalant and pompous that will create the false impression that ACSI guys are indeed very desirable and good looking.

Act attitude: Due to the fact that bimbos absolutely love attitudal guys, we emphasise strongly on pretending to have attitude in our boys. You
will hence have to act like a very bad person when you are in fact an insecure and deprived person.

Act poser: AS this is the trademark of our school, it will require no further explanation.

To adhere to our school's motto "The best is yet to be", we require you to stop getting good results in school especially in the area of literature, as this opposes our motto. You will hence need to go out more with bimbos, have fun, screw around and be less concerned with your studies.

Your Chinese grades need to be extremely poor and you will have to hate it a lot. In other words, you must forget all your roots and be a perfect banana. You are also required to be rich to avoid being ostracised and looked down upon in our school. More emphasis will also be put on sports to create the false impression that ACSI guys are all rounders.

We look forward to your joining our huge ACS family and we certainly do believe you have the potential, judging by your bimbo attracting
qualities prevalent in all our students. We believe that with more posing, despising Chinese and acting, you can definitely be an outstanding representation of ACSI.

yours sincerely,
Ong Teck Chin
Principal
Anglo Chinese School (Independent)


Luciferous Logolepsy - Dragging obscure words into the light of day

Making Over Mona Lisa - Botox, Collagen, Chemical Peel and Surgery!

Top 10 Most Fascinating Urinals

May the the buggers who spam my guestbook relentlessly with ads for online casinos, viagra and porn sites wake up to find cancerous boils and lesions swarming their noses!


A question pertinent a few years back: What is Ajinomoto made of?

It's always been my fantasy to crash the counters on SBS Super Buses telling you how many seats are left upstairs, by skipping the second-to-top-step which contains the sensor.

Asian Prince's competitor?

CDex is the best CD ripper I've ever used.


Last week's weekly post will be merged with next week's due to scarcity of material.

After listening to Trevor Pinnock and his English Concert and Chorus Oratorio quick and upbeat interpretation of Handel's Messiah for so long, it's odd to be forced to listen to something else, namely the slower and more ponderous version by the St. Petersburg State Academic Symphony Orchestra (since I do not feel like listening to my sister's CD version with a Boys' Choir singing the Sop part and Male Solos for Alto-Bass, and she probably has the CDs with her anyway). There seems to be life lacking in this version, the words roll awkwardly off their tongues while their accents are quite distinctive, I can pick out individual voices, the choir strains very often, I can't hear much joy or awe in parts like "And The Glory of The Lord", the Tenors sounded like they were yawning when singing "And He Shall Reign Forever And Ever" and in "For Unto Us A Child Is Born" and I *swear* they sung, "The Prince Of Piss". All in all, it sounds like a Senior Citizens' choir.

Okay, so I'm picky. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that they're Russians.


"Chopin's first Ballade is perhaps one of the most over-performed non-sonata works in piano repertoire. So here I add another one."

Haha.

Toon Olympics


"let's have a competition shall we?
let's go on IRC and see who can get the most no. of girl's hp in 1 hour"

!@#$%^&*()


[On NUS] "its strange lor...during a role play @ orientation e seniors all say engin guys freshies all look like e nerdy type and e gals all dunno how to dress up one...so sad" - I thought he'd have expected that.


Haha my "how not to sing the song" mp3 (TBS's horribly done version of John Rutter's "The Music's Always There With You") is available for download on Kazaa from someone, even though it was wiped from my own system. It will live on forever!


I feel drained. A sad life can be tiring.

It's strange when, sometimes, when I'm in camp I want to get out, yet when I'm out I want to go back in.

Tomorrow I'm attaching out, doo dah, doo dah
Tomorrow I'm attaching out, doo dah doo dah day
No more SOC! No more IPPT!
No more Krusty tekan me, doo dah doo dah day, hey!


I took a day off today because I wanted my last day in 42 for 6 months to be at least mildly pleasurable :)

Wow. People on Kazaa actually have Forever Red!

Just watched it. Reunion episodes are so fun.

You know Matrix-esque special effects are overused when even Power Rangers uses them. I don't like the techno edge to the effects (and indeed other parts of the show as well) though - it reminds me of why I didn't like Transformers: Beast Wars. Even Serpenterra looks very artificial now, not as attractive as when they spliced Kakuranger footage. Is this what we'll be seeing on Channel i next season? Erk.

In case anyone wants it, music from:

Planescape: Torment

5 pages of music for:
Phantasy Star, ICO and "SAMPAGUITA"
Baldur's Gate II, Diablo II and (some foreign character 2140)
Metal Gear 2 The Other Side and 2 other games the titles of which I can't read
Icewind Dale, Warcraft III Reign of Chaos, ??? 4 and Baldur's Gate
Street Fighter III_ New Generation Arrange (sic) Album and "KOUDELKA"

With my collection eradicated, I fear I will be reduced to listening to semi-popular music due to lack of availability, time constraints and choice. I don't think I will be so bored as to click on random interesting sounding tracks on MP3.com, especially since there are much fewer tracks available for download there than before. Rarer tracks (eg a non-single artiste version, or an acapella version of "True Colors", like the ones I had by a Kokopelli Youth Choir and the Tufts Amalgamates) will also be hard to get since there's no automatic downloading nowadays like Audiogalaxy had.

[Update: I managed to get the Tufts' version. It's sleazy, but not as spine-chillingly intolerable as the original (?) pop version by Cindy Lauper. I compared the two, and in the pop version the woman sounds like, at different parts of the piece, like a whiny 5 year old kid, a gawkish 14 year old, a blasting 25 year old diva, a menopausal 55 year old and a throaty 80 year old grandma. What's more, she slides so effortlessly between voices. It's so creepy, it makes me wonder if they cranked it through a voice processor.]




Ed: Jan 2008 - PYXZ went down long ago, so here's a replacement:


Nice little pamphlet for the conference I went too.

And the SDP wonders why people don't take it seriously.

The ardous task of rebuilding commences...

H.M.S. Pinafore
Song No. 9 -- Act I
When I was a lad


SIR JOSEPH.
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.

CHORUS.
He polished up the handle of the big front door.

SIR JOSEPH.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He polished up that handle so carefullee,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee.

SIR JOSEPH.
As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand.

CHORUS.
He copied all the letters in a big round hand.

SIR JOSEPH.
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the pass examination at the Institute.

CHORUS.
For the pass examination at the Institute.

SIR JOSEPH.
That pass examination did so well for me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
That pass examination did so well for he,
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

CHORUS.
Was the only ship that he ever had seen.

SIR JOSEPH.
But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
But that kind of ship so suited he,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

CHORUS.
He never thought of thinking for himself at all.

SIR JOSEPH.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

SIR JOSEPH.
Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

CHORUS.
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

SIR JOSEPH.
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

I was asked to accompany Mr Kairen to the "International Youth Conference For Democracy", organised by the SDP. Unfortunately, a barrage of tragedies hit him at the last moment, and he informed me that he was broke at the last minute, and so couldn't dine with me. Later, he had to visit the doctor, so in the end I had to wait at Carlton Hotel for almost 2 1/2 hours (including their lunch break) listening to the panel, chaired by Chee Soon Juan, talk about Asian Values and Asian Democracy without even getting to witness the spectacle of Kairen lampooning Chee Soon Juan.

That said, many panelists and members of the floor seemed overly pessimistic, and held extreme views against the PAP, and this was to the detriment of the credibility of the conference, the SDP and Chee Soon Juan. One panelist even claimed that we have *no* freedom of speech and freedom of assembly. If that were the case, how come they were able to organise and hold this conference without any interference by the police? The same also claimed that the repression here was equal to that in Burma, except that here it was more sophisticated. Perhaps, but I prefer the view that it is just less severe and extreme here. Also hurting the credibility of the whole conference was how the discussion seemed to be steered sometimes by the chairman in certain directions not all at all related to the topic of discussion, but instead more to do with his personal goals. More flagrantly, there was one member of the audience - an SDP member, I suspect - who hijacked the discussion totally and started pouring out the usual litany of grouses against the government.

They also screened a home video of Mr Chee getting bundled into a van the time he got apprehended for speaking at the Istana without a permit. His characteristic flourishes of melodrama were evident in the video as he kept protesting his innocence and peaceful intentions loudly, and there was even this woman heard shouting in the background, "Free him! Free him! He hasn't done anything wrong!" just as he was bundled into the van. I wonder if they realise that such dramatic touches redolent of Channel 8 dramas only serve to discredit them in the eyes of most Singaporeans.

Regardless, they did bring up some good points. The reason why Singapore, Malaysia and other states do not want to "interfere" in other countries' "internal affairs" is that they fear - know - that their own houses are hardly in good order, and that reciprocal concern about their own "internal affairs" would raise many difficult and embarassing questions. Also, restricting the rights of the majority because of the harm a small minority might do (Read: the blanket suppression of all "sensitive" issues like race and religion in the name of racial harmony) is unjust, and can be compared to banning football matches due to the possibility of thugs starting a riot, or even suspending Parliament because of the possibility of fist fights (ala Taiwan).

I wonder how many people care about politics here. Most are probably jaded after witnessing the string of lawsuits brought against members of Opposition Parties, and crass materialism has replaced any nobler ideals that might have once burned in their souls.

A fortnight's assortment of detritus. Even more messy than usual:

Quote of the Fortnight: "When the going gets tough, the tough may get going, but the smart cut corners"

With all the recruits swarming us at odd hours, I think I now know why Tekong medics are so surly and unfriendly. The recruits keep taking MCs - in 14 days, I got 79 (IIRC) MCs, almost all of them from the recruits. That's like 19% of them seeing a non-SAF doctor once in 2 weeks. And poor me has to write the details of the MCs in the MC book, with help from my trust elves, and after that Frederick has to key the MCs into the computer. I think we should get a tip of $1 per MC - $0.70 for me and $0.30 for him (since writing it manually is more difficult).

Our sickbay has been renovated, so all the holes that the rats chewed in the walls have been patched up. Originally, I'd heard that the new walls were going to be made of metal, but in the end they used normal wall material for them. I'm wondering how long the rats will take to chew through the thing they used to seal the holes in the ceiling they normally run down from, as well as the walls.

I think that, except for the loss of recreation time, I prefer to do overtime than work in the day - it's much less crowded and noisy, I can wear more comfortable clothing, the radio is not tuned to 93.3FM so I can hijack it, and anyway they're just watching Chinese TV shows (often the inane Taiwanese ones) in bunk.

There was this guy going to DB, and he looked quite sad, so I offered him my nightsnack - a pineapple mooncake confection. At the sight of it, he visibly brightened. Twas the least I could do.

Our MO gets to rest whenever we have company runs of SOC RT, then he takes us running the next day, by which time he has recovered from the previous run, while we have not. Argh.

Some regulars like to run after they go to work, and before they go home. Not only is this running on company time allowed by their employer, it is tacitly encouraged. Not a bad deal, if you're the type who likes to run.

I think running in cadence (everyone running together), always a popular aim of runs, is silly. If everyone runs at a fast pace, slow people like me will drop dead. On the other hand, if everyone runs at a slow pace, most people will get bored.

While I was covering company games (their idea of games is to run before and after the games, incidentally), I got accosted by my CO who said I was the "famous Gabriel". My S3 was also there. Gee.

A recruit reported sick for week-long shin pain, had tender shins and got an X-Ray. I, on the other hand, have had tender and painful shins for 5 months now, and have reported sick for them 2-3 times, yet I've no X-Ray referrals. Why, why, why?!

RT personnel are not allowed to apply for days off on RT days. Gee, this means I have a choice of taking long weekends, or taking off on Monday, Wednesday or Friday and booking in at 10:30pm, or taking half days off on weekday mornings. I sure hope BMT ends soon. In other news, the CSM said it isn't her who made the book in timing earlier, so our misery is caused by other higher-ups!

Apparently Ban Xiong did not learn his lesson from the last time, and offered his services for unworthy causes again. When it came back to haunt him, I reminded him of his thoughts the first time he had been finagled, a true gem of wisdom equally applicable in this instance: "It kills to be altruistic. Little wonder why such pple die off. The more i brood on it, the more i hate myself. Dann (sic) the ***** bastards. I'll never help them again". My condolences go out to all who have been similarly affected by the machinations of ***** (what the asterisks mean, I am not at liberty to say).

My old problem is back! My CSM commented that I bounce and jiggle when I march.

Sleeping on 3 mattresses is more comfortable than 2, which in turn beats lying on 1. With 3 mattresses stacked on top of each other, the foam almost approximates King Koil!

Yaodong has been posted to 1PDF to run for them, escaping the tender mercies of his unit! We in Sungei Gedong are happy and he is happy. I'm not so sure about the people in Maju Camp, who will get to have "fun" with him like we did over the last year. Hopefully he will continue to be able to continue training for the SEA Games - all while being excused running in camp.

Apparently if I call the SAF Hotline, I could be talking to someone I know, who mans it. :0 Better make sure of who I'm talking to if I ever do...

One morning we had "Instant Bee Hoon" for breakfast. Didn't know they were so proud of serving up instant noodles instead of preparing it themselves. In these 2 weeks, I've also had 2 of the most atrocious meals I've ever had - one day it was Pseudo-Western food, but what they gave us was tasteless grilled/boiled chicken, sausage quarters in baked bean and frozen mixed vegetable sauce and sausage slices tossed with cabbage. The only redeeming part of the meal was the wedges - a most generous serving (though I think that if I had eaten at the 42SAR cookhouse, the server would have given us 2-3 wedges each only, and done whatever they do with the rest - maybe keep them for themselves), and crispy too. The other bad meal was when they had Nasi Briyani one day, but the dishes were: kang kong, prawns (SAF prawns are always bad), mutton cubes with mold growing on them, and a piece of limp, insipid looking chicken. Everyone, after seeing the food, rushed to the canteen.

The ATC canteen has played me out! Their curry puffs used to be nice and un-hot, making them the only ones I could tolerate, but one day I bit into one merrily, blissfully unaware, and after a few bites my mouth was aflame. Gah.

CD-Rs, CD-RWs and floppy disks are prohibited in SAF camps, mostly because of "security" reasons. Of course, since there are no floppy or CD-RW drives in SAF camps, the reality is exposed - they don't want people to bring in games to play, or pictures to look at. As for the fear of viruses - what self respecting virus would infect Microsoft Mail (1993)? Besides which, there are no points of entry into the Intranet in most terminals, anyway. Meanwhile, they use the same key for all of some types of vehicles, so anyone can steal them. But then again, who'd want muddy 30 year old vehicles which break down often?

Pioneer Magazine claims that the new Army Songs (eg 'Knock It Down') are being sung with gusto at BMTC. Somehow I doubt that some recruit out there is leading his platoon mates in singing, "Knock it down! Knock it down! So take it like a man and knock it down...).

For AHM this year, Vincent donated a princely $2, topped only by my contribution of $0.30. What can I say - no one wants to donate. Besides, all my friends are in the army. At least I wasn't forced to give $5 like last year, and I have Colonel Bernard Toh, Director of Public Affairs at Mindef, on my side. [Ed: This paragraph has been corrected thanks to a kind soul who pointed me to this url]

Our Medical Centre puppy got hit by something and died :(

The pandemonium that Junxiong predicted with Wang and me being Docu ICs has yet to ensue!

Bob does not like to be called "Bob". As such, with a Herculean burst of effort, I shall attempt refer to him in other ways.

NUH charges for parking at 3AM in the morning. Wth.

Wang was playing with my teddy bear when he was on duty. Hrmph.

Junxiong's Armour slogans: Armour - Slow And Indecisive. Once Armour, Always Suffer


http://www.arousal-agency.isfabulous.com/ is a site that someone discovered when I told him to try searching "uniform" on Yahoo Auctions. I knew people were selling them, but I didn't expect them to go to the extent of hiring a "lovely in-house model" to model the uniforms. Interestingly, the description for RJC, ACJC, HCJC and SAJC says that they are each "one of Singapore's sexiest junior college uniforms". However, NYJC and NJC uniforms aren't so praised.

Chinese Pop is, if anything, even more brainless and repetitive than English Pop. 93.3 keeps playing songs of the moment, which are repeated daily, and you have songs like one, "Ai Yau Tan Dang Dang ", by this Taiwanese/Hong Kong/whatever young girl called "Xiao Xiao" which goes, at some parts, "dum da dum da dum dum da da da da da da da da da da dum da dum da dum da da da da" - I suspect that the song writer ran out of ideas for lyrics, so he decided to fill the space with meaningless syllables.

I've expressed my feelings about Taiwanese TV before, but I seem to witness greater and greater depravity on it. On one day, they had this train carriage choke full of men, and they had to carry a woman over their heads from one entrance of the carriage to another while she was squealing, taking the opportunity, of course, to grope her along the way. I was also informed that before that activity, they had the same carriage full of girls in bikinis, and guys took turns to squeeze past the girls from one entrance to another. I know people like to indulge themselves - but on television? And I wonder why the girls keep coming back to this sort of shows. It must be great fun.

The news report I read on Uday and Qusay's deaths was disappointingly misleading. It claimed that "countries across the world expressed joy and relief", but to substantiate that point, only Bush administration officials were quoted. The report also said that many world leaders approved of this development, and quoted... Tony Blair. Outstanding.

Someone brought FHM into camp, and before Wee spirited it away (and claimed he lost it later), I managed to read an intriguing interview with males who had undergone sex change operations. Apparently, they are able to lubricate, and the constructed clitoris works like a real one. The wonders of surgery nowadays! You learn something new everyday. Suspiciously, the next month's issue of Newman had an in-depth feature on transsexuals, with a detailed account of the sex-change process.

Chemistry's sudden trip into post-modernism is disturbing. Not only did it confuse viewers, scaring people like Ban Xiong away, it was poorly done. The show was going along quite fine, until they decided to pull the "show within a show" stunt. I think they just ran out of ideas.

Apparently after returning from his degree course and having a daughter, the Evil One is much less evil. Good for him!

Apparently there is someone called 'Sunshine', whom someone is gushing over (she was from SCGS, so that explains it). Names are getting weirder and weirder these days. Is there any "Moonlight"s and "Stardust"s around?


The views of some illiberals on the gay issue so irked me that I wrote my 4th letter to the ST Forum. Needless to say, it was rejected, as it had to compete with 144 other letters on the same issue, and they still have to allocate space for the publication of trivial questions that people should direct to the relevant companies, statutory boards or government agencies. Suffice to say that it is heartening that most people were in support of equal rights for all, though it is saddening to see that there are people who will not grant to others the indulgences and privileges that have been granted to them.

The Christian backlash seems overly reactionary, though. Some of them think that there is a "homosexual agenda" (no more sinister, of course, than the Christian agenda). One calls the homosexual movement a lot more "rampant, militant and organised" than before. Funny, somehow those seem the perfect terms to describe the evangelistic movement. Most disturbing of all was the person who said that "the battle lines are now drawn". It's probably this sort of people who want to bring on a Clash of Civilisations.


I find it odd that both my hard disks failed at the same time. Also, my father keeps commenting on how it would be cheaper to get a new computer than keep repairing the current one, and advised that we shouldn't pay for any new hardware this time around, yet accepted the offer of a new 40GB HDD ($230, bargained down to $220 including labour) from the shop.

I wonder how much data recovery would cost (not the ridiculous quote I got below).


Quotes:

I see an unhealthy trend. Soon the only one sleeping in bunk will be me.

[On his spec course] After I come back, I won't do anything

Oh! I'm so sorry for you. It's one of the joys in life, having a 16g SAF drip set in you. In no hospital will you get a 16g drip set in you - I guarantee it.

[On ORD] My new rank is "Mr".

[Reservist MO on ECGs] To make your job easier, always use gel. [Reservist medic: If {it's on} the ladies, then nevermind {about the gel}].

[On SAF Cookhouses] Armour food is the worst in Singapore.

[On talking to me on the phone] I think I better, speak English.

[Me: So old - can become a prostitute?] Why not? Her mouth is so big. [Me: I thought guys like girls with small mouths] It's different now. [Me: I don't know, I've no experience]

[On my sleeping on 3 foam mattresses] You think you're what - Princess and the Pit ah? (Who do you think you are?, Pea)

[Safety slogan] danger could strikes anytime

[On the SAR-vivor rap] Why do you want it? Then you can irritate yourself. Play it, then you'll go 'ahhh!', run out of the room... Put it on repeat then you don't have to go into the room

[On eating soya beancurd while having a stomachache] [Me: Then {the} next morning you will lao sai {diarrhea} again. {We'll} have to inject you with Stemetil.] Stemetil's for vomiting. [Me: It can come out from both your orifices. How many orifices do you have?] A lot. [raucuous laughter ensues] That's not what I meant. [Me: Then what did you mean? How many orifices does he have?] Nose, ears, mouth...

[On ACJC] My school got not chiobus. [Me: I thought ACJC is the land of the...] Sluts and bitches. (has)

[Someone: You know your junior class has one very chio girl] [Me: ******* ******] [Wakes from his slumber on remembering his first 3 months of J2 life] Hey, jeebye! Wah lan eh! Her fucking skirt is damn short. Until here [chops hand 1/3 way down thigh]. When she sits down... [Pointing to armpits] Up here, damn tight. Everytime zaogeng. I think she wore her sec one uniform.

[On an ACJC arts class's photos] Eh jeebye. No chiobus. Kannina

[On pictures of ACJC girls] So small. [Someone: You like small and perky] I like Christy Chung

[On pictures of NUS girls at the beach] Hey! Hey! Sports bra.

[Someone on pictures of NUS girls at the beach: Engine so chio ah?] Engine hen2 shao3 chio1 dan4 chio1 shi4 hen3 chio1

[On pictures of NUS girls at the beach] [Sees back of RGS PE T-Shirt on a photo] Eh, RGS! [Sees back of girl's head] Eh, don't want

[On being psychiatrically ill] Look, I've got all the psychos on the planet, and they're all at 2PDF. They're not PES F... If Clarence can stay forever and forever I don't see why this guy should be PES F.

!@#$%^&*()

Hard Disk Recovery:

"If recoverable, we send the report to you on the cost. From previous home customers, we charge them in the range from SGD 650 - SGD 1300, excluding delivery cost."

The Fable Of The Keys - debunking the bit about Dvorak keyboards being more effective than QWERTY ones, and that QWERTY ones supposedly cause slower typing.

Skirt Trouble - A member of an Illinois school board was forced to apologize after commenting during a meeting on the length of women’s skirts. Timothy Knudsen was accused of telling speakers during a meeting of the Niles Township school board’s Finance Committee, "to keep your comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject, but brief enough to keep me interested."


Oh gee. Someone thinks so highly of me.

"you're just gonna be one of those weird loser people whose greatest achievement was coming from rj"

Actually I think that all sorts of news gets my attention - the tudung in primary schools affair, or the car crashing into the MRT tracks would have/did get my attention too, so.

Threat rating: extremely low. You may think you can
subvert the government, but if you should try
you will be smited mightily because God likes
us best.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Woman dumps man for his online alter ego - A Taiwan man who used a different identity through the Internet to double-date his girlfriend, has committed suicide after the girl fell for his email-based alter ego

At least *I* wasn't dumped for my alter ego.

Flying off sunday afternoon ... bye bye till december!

Gee.

D: has just gone missing.

Lucky I backed it up not long ago (on 6th July), so at most I lose my 400+ hours of mp3s (sob!), some pictures I've collected over the years, a journal entry, some movies I don't mind losing and some games you can't download anymore, but which I'll never play anyway. Nothing I can't afford to lose, or which is worth US$200-300 (?) recovering.

Ironically, this is the newer HDD which has spoilt after 3 years. The 5 year old one is still going strong.

A helpful source opines that "tho usually even when ur hd dies the bios will at least indicate it's there. so i guess u gotta check ur connections and tweak". Unfortunately, when I try to enter my BIOS, green lines appear on my screen.


More on brights and banding together as a cohesive, influential group.

Nice poster

Useful service: blogging from your mobile phone, courtesy of Kah Keng and Kah Seng

Hidden Cameras Spy on Your Kids - School children get videotaped in their locker rooms. Parents protest that hidden cameras should be prohibited in locker rooms, showers, restrooms and other areas that could violate students' rights. (The images were reportedly accessible through the Internet.)

Man fined for catching alligator - A Florida man who caught an alligator with a rope because he feared it would attack a woman has been fined for being in possession of the animal.

Man cuts off penis, eats it - *Must* be Ma-laysia.

Burgers are as addictive as drugs

Bizarre Game Targets Women: Hunting for Bambi

Bill Gates' Hotmail Inbox!

Cash for some users of MSN Messenger - Microsoft to award $1,000 an hour in weekly giveaways

This is too geeky even for me


I might nominate my Sec 3 or JC Paper 7 history teachers for the "Outstanding History Teacher Award 2003", but one criterion is "fosters the development of beliefs and values related to National Education", so I said "ptui" to that.


2 more sources for the RJC HPF video (if you are still looking for it):

http://www.motormotive.com/images/andy/hpfterror.zip
http://zakyn.htgk.org/hpfterror.zip

gynaecomastia is where men grow boobs and other things (female hair pattern, female distribution of body fats etc) in response to hormone imbalances commonly caused by alcohol consumption causing liver cirrhosis interfering with steroid hormone metabolism (oestrogen etc). So drinking isn't so manly after all.

Brother in law on watching the HPF video:

"and how come rjc girls now saunter into class wearing untucked shirts and folded sleeves?"

So behind the times :)

Word of the day: "gynaecomastia"

Apparently word of my distress reached higher echelons of our command structure, as I found myself being talked to by my CSM. I was assured that RT is meant to train me, not to torture ("tekan") me. That may be true, but some people make it appear more of a torture than others, and in the heat of the moment, amidst the shouting and screwing, it is hard to remember the putative aim of RT. It's nice to be reminded of the present kinder, gentler, more caring (relatively, anyway) army. From next week, I will supposedly be moved to progressive training, so it won't be so much of a torture, and will actually be *realistic*, and thus more likely to produce results.

My CSM has made it her mission to help me and Christopher pass IPPT, and me to pass SOC - an admirable aim, but, I fear, doomed to failure. So on Tuesday she was running beside me, sans helmet, webbing, rifle, dummy magazines, waterbottles and toggle rope (yes I'm being pedantic here). She is a better motivator than my Ops Sergeant, but I could sense the disappointment in my "lack of effort", and see it in her eyes. I don't know how people judge effort, but to me, not collapsing or stopping totally already shows some modicum of effort. I could always push myself further, but I don't know where injury lies - the fastest 2.4km run I ever ran (15:16), I got injured.

I am supposed to feel a sense of accomplishment after running or RT, but instead I just feel drained, used and empty. Worse, it drains whatever reserves of determination and strenght (both physical and mental) that I have, and a night's rest - or indeed, a weekend's - rarely is enough to recharge me. The end result is that the constant runs are having a debilitating effect. I feel like Prometheus, chained to my rock by my PES Status, and having my liver pecked out by the eagle of RT/runs daily (or almost daily), only for it to regenerate the next day (since I don't get injured permanently). Pain is supposed to be in the mind, and thinking positive thoughts and psyching myself is supposed to help me make it. This is just self-deception. I suppose, if my family were gunned down bloodily (ala my Chinese essays), I could think positive thoughts and make myself believe that it was a good thing. Why can't I be like the people who fake slipped discs, who who take entrenching tools and maim themselves?

RT is evil. It made me so tired on Tuesday that I didn't book out :( I also realise that running more or less ruins the rest of my day, and the thought of a run later throws a dark cloud over the earlier part of my day. Some people don't feel right if they don't run. I don't feel right if I do. So running 4/6 times this last week was really depressing.

Word spreads. A friend told me that one day when he was the guard 3i/c, the guard commander told him about this "Corporal Gabriel" who had a page about army life. How, erm, cool is that? A regular specialist who reads my blog? I am amused. The same friend also supported me in "telling the truth about the SAF". I better watch out for the Men In Black now.

I am proud of the elves. They have initiative, and helped me process 397 recruits' dockets, even when I was not around to ask,

The planets were in an evil alignment on Monday. We had to send 8 people to Tengah to report sick, and of those, 2-3 were sent to NUH A&E. I only slept at 1:30am. But Benjamin only slept at 3:30am, so I got the better straw.

Our book in timing on Monday, Wednesday and Friday has been changed to an unearthly 10:30pm, with no compensation on other days. That will surely shock my brother in law - "We never had any of this '2330' nonsense. Always '2359'". Makes no sense to apply for off on any of those 3 days now.

The cookhouses no longer each cook the food campwide for an entire week. Now they take turns for each meal. I think someone realised that when 42SAR was providing the food, the number of chips dropped into the boxes was abysmally low, so they want to keep us guessing :)

To "improve [our] general knowledge", newspaper articles and pages torn out from "Shoulder To Shoulder - Our National Service Journal" (how that is supposed to help anyone, I don't know) have been placed beneath telk (is that how the plastic wrap is spelled?) at cookhouse tables. Admirable sentiments, but I wonder how often they'll update the quickly-stale news.

I hate my cookhouse's "lor-style" meat. The taste isn't so bad, but they always dump liberal quantities of Star Anise into the food, and I invariably bite on one, to my great discomfort :( Other than that particular gripe, contrary to what one might expect, I am actually a great deal less fussy about cookhouse food than many.


My Secret Garden is not so secret anymore - one day I walked in during lunchtime to find 5 people slouched on 2 of the 3 mattresses, listening to polyphonic ringtones (ugh). And at night, Bob likes to come down and sleep with me.

I wonder when we will be able to stop our SARS measures. The Powers That Be may be slow to move, but they are paranoid to the point of ridiculousness, and slow to end redundant and useless precautionary measures. If you have SARS, you will know - you won't have to wait until a temperature check weeds you out. Perhaps the only good this does is to weed out irresponsible people.

Bob went outfield and got so many bunk breaks that he didn't manage to finish the food he brought. And he still complained about going outfield. Bah.

I read an email saying that with immediate effect, PDAs are now legal in SAF camps if you don't put too-confidential information on it. Curiously, this was not published in the Routine Orders. I sense a conspiracy! Maybe I should call MSD to confirm.

For BMT in 42 SAR, they don't check all the recruits' field packs. They only spot check a few. Wah, so slack. :)

Ban Xiong's fake vegetarianism has been exposed and he now has to eat Meat. Aww.

A reservist told me that in his day (4 years ago), you got a day off for catching a rat. Wah (both for how long the rats have been there and for the incentive). In related news, I entered the pantry one night and one rat climbed up the water cooler pipe, and 3 scurried away from the fridge and into the cupboard. Only they were medium sized, and moved quite slowly. There are going to be more old, big rats soon. Shit.

Bob is more annoyed at my (and others) calling him that than I am at his calling me "Jiabao". Hee hee. It's quite a catchy name, really: "Bob". Bob also cannot figure out how to leave comments on Balderdash. Gah. Do I have to put: "Click here to leave a comment?".

Apparently the maximum punishment for going AWOL is 2 years of DB. So if you escape them for >2 years it might be worth it :)

Apparently Zaixiang told his trainees that he was from Poly. No one believes him. Haha.


My intense disgust with the SAR-vivor rap is such that I now have the perverse fantasy of transcribing it. That's if I can stop the urge to run away screaming when it appears on TV. "And I'm once again impressed by your general do-nothing/do-everything skills." - Tym. Apparently though, a CD featuring it will be on sale soon.

Apparently the reason CISCO is always seen with the Singapore Police is that they are the "National Auxiliary Police Force". Hrmph. Sometimes you see them more often than the real police. Maybe it's because out-sourcing is more efficient. They've already out-sourced so many things (eg SAF cookhouses to SFI, much transport to private bus operators) for greater efficiency - I reckon out-sourcing the whole SAF and the whole police force might bring surprising results! :)

Amidst the hand wringing, condolences and tributes to Laleh and Ladan Bijani, I must note that, oddly, the arguments for their undergoing the operation were very similar to those used by Euthanasia enthusiasts. So why the disparate responses to the two? The twins showed courage to undergo the operation, but does living a harder life not require greater courage? They wanted to live in dignity - terminally ill patients in pain want to *die* with dignity.

It is sad that Malaysia is trying to kill off dialects too now, by dubbing serials in Mandarin. Killing off dialects will kill a part of the Chinese culture, and reduce cultural richness and diversity, all in the name of crass economic considerations of doubtful efficacy.

Perhaps the most side-splitting scene seen in Chemistry so far: Rachel's mother's line dancing pals dancing as a "get well" gesture. My shrieks of combined outrage and delight must have been audible from the next building.

Nok2Phone never imports MIDIs perfectly, and I always have to tweak the result. Grr.


Some people insist on taking the moral high ground, and are "appalled that there is going to be a gay event, the Nation.03 party, on National Day at Sentosa, modelled after the gay Mardi Gras parade of Sydney". They argue that "Singapore society [does not condone] public display of homosexuality at a venue associated with family entertainment", that "Holding such a party on National Day is also an insult to Singapore's independence anniversary", and that "the Nation.03 party glamorises the homosexual lifestyle, something which runs counter to the moral values of most Singaporeans". If people want to be so conservative, they can contemplate the revulsion that many would feel if we were just to substitute the words "malay", "buddhist", "female", "brunette" or even "anorexic" or "short" for "gay". Giving females the vote is immoral! Jews are inhuman!

At the same time, it is sad that everything - Remaking Singapore, the new tolerance for gays - is painted as an economic measure. Perhaps this is a sop to conservatives who will not otherwise be dissuaded, but it is still lamentable that they have to resort to such measures.


Quotes:

[Tengah medic on the night we sent them 8 people reporting sick] Why is Armour giving me so much problems? (many)

The only place you can get pork satay is from Chinese... Or renegade Malays. Or should I say "enlightened" Malays.

Inspiration that came to mind while watching Andrew clothes-shop for 2 hours:

Ban Xiong is incredibly enamored of his $50 Nike Lycra shirt and keeps wearing it. Or maybe it's *because* it was $50 that he is so incredibly taken with it.

Command and Conquer: Tiberian Sun was selling at $64 in Courts Suntec City. Considering it's been 4 years since its release in the later half of 1999, that is such a ripoff.

I tried I Can't Believe It's Yogurt's Non-fat Cheesecake Soft-serve today. Very rich and realistic taste, but I don't want to know what sort of chemicals go into it.

I only saw one person - an upper primary boy - wearing a shirt from Giordano's "Me" line today. I swear, there was a time when you couldn't go out without seeing at least 5 people wearing shirts from that line. So much for the celebration of individualism and uniqueness.

I actually bought clothing for myself today. Wah. And it wasn't my normal type of shoddy, kiam sap clothing. Still being boring though, and not liking funky clothes like Andrew, I settled for a plain cyan shirt from Export Fashion. Its defect was worse than what you usually get, but it was a good price ($17.50), was my size and was soft. My mother was shocked when I pointed out the small hole at the back - apparently she doesn't understand the concept behind how they can let you buy brand-name quality apparel, albeit with the labels ripped out or defaced, at low prices.

The people who sell pirated VCDs at Tiong Bahru Plaza were back there again today. Uncharacteristically, the table was almost totally filled with tasteless XXX (not they produce any other sort, knowing their audience) VCDs today. I wonder what happens if you shoplift from shops selling pirated VCDs / software / pornographic VCDs. They surely can't call the cops on you. Maybe they are in cahoots with the Ah Longs (loansharks).


Updated transcript of the HPF video, courtesy of Mr Dom.

Melvin points out that http://gssq.blogpsot.com/ (or indeed, any *.blogpsot.com URL) gets one: "Mega site of Bible studies and information.

I am insulted.

Courtesy of my sister, who is ever on the lookout for news about evil pussies:

Fishy end for feline sleuth

Russia's only sniffer cat, which was taken on to track down sturgeon smugglers, has been run over and killed, Russian media report.