When you can't live without bananas

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Monday, May 02, 2022

Links - 2nd May 2022 (2 - Women)

Sex with my boyfriend and his brother: I don't want this to end.

Mother complains after her 14-year-old daughter is put into isolation for wearing false eyelashes - "Angela was contacted by the Royal Wootton Bassett Academy last Wednesday and told false eyelashes were against the uniform rules.  Chelsea has since been placed in isolation every day that she has turned up to school wearing the eyelashes.  But Angela, who gave permission for her daughter to be identified and pictured, is adamant that she won't back down over what she calls 'Lashgate'.  She has faced a backlash herself - with hundreds of people making online comments saying the school is in the right... 'I took photographs of her wearing one set of false lashes like she does for school and another of her wearing two.  'I accept that wearing two sets would be inappropriate but I can't see that the one set can cause any problems.'"

London, Ont. mom gave nude images of daughters, their friends to secret boyfriend | Toronto Sun - "Clandestine photos and videos of her daughters and friends, taken while they changed clothes in a bathroom, were made to satisfy the sexual urges of her secret boyfriend. She kept up the steady diet of images and text messages for almost a decade, while keeping up appearances as a wife, a mother, a Sunday school teacher and a school volunteer...   The judge’s sharp comments came after hearing what the woman did with her daughters and playmates during a 10-year extramarital affair, plus the emotional victim impact statements from parents who once called her a friend."

Mum Deletes Influencer Daughter’s Social Media Accounts With 1.7 Million Followers - "Fernanda Rocha Kanner is the mother of Valentina, known as Nina Rios, a 14-year-old influencer from Brazil who had amassed 1.7 million followers on her social media accounts. In a bid to teach her daughter a lesson about life values, Fernanda deleted Nina Rios’ Instagram and TikTok in a move the mother calls ‘radical, yes’ but ‘necessary, too’... A major factor in Fernanda’s decision to delete that pages was that she did not want Valentina ‘to grow up believing she’s this character. I don’t want her advertising flammable polyester clothing made in China. I don’t want my brilliant daughter doing her daily dances like a trained baboon. It’s a sad generation for which this counts as fame.’"

Emotional mother leaves fitness class halfway through because she was overwhelmed and intimidated - "A mother taking part in a fitness class has revealed why she fled the gym in tears just minutes into her first session.  Jonica Williams, 40, made a New Year's resolution to improve her health in 2020 for herself and her three children.  The journalist, who lives in Sydney, signed up for a group exercise class of high intensity interval training, but walked out halfway through after feeling overwhelmed and self-conscious next to women she saw as 'fit, healthy and attractive'."

Meme - "Hugging when two people have boobs is basically playing boob tetris."
"titris"

Meme - "When you're no longer the main female of the show:
2012 *lingerie and big breasts*
2018 *flat t-shirt on bus*"

ellie schnitt on Twitter - "I am so excited for Valentine's Day bc I work and I'm gonna tell all my customers that my "boyfriend dumped me" so I "decided to cover another girl's shift" and I'm gonna get so many pity tips"

Jonesy The Beautiful Idiot 🇨🇦💉💉💉 on Twitter - "Met my daughter’s teacher tonight. It was heartbreaking. She was working at her second job. Teachers are the most underpaid, underappreciated, yet most valuable people in the world. So anyway, I gave her $50 for a lap dance, so I’m doing my part."

Meme - "As soon as healer Julia joined the village all the woman suddenly had no more headaches *busty woman*"

Woman with paw print tattoos on her breasts says she's undateable - "Back in 2007, when a then 18-year-old Adele got paw prints tattooed on her breasts in homage to her beloved family dog Max, she thought she’d love them forever... The now 28-year-old charity worker said she completely changed her style to cover up her tattoos.  ‘I hated my boobs and what I’d done to myself,’ she remembers.  ‘I started wearing high-neck tops, even in summer. I’d be sweating just so I could cover them up.’  Adele says her love life has been affected by her paw prints, saying her ‘self confidence has been shattered by them’.  ‘I’m sure that’s why I haven’t had many relationships lasting for more than a month in 10 years,’ she reveals.  ‘Blokes get the wrong idea about me. They think I’m easy which is not what I am like at all.’ Adele has now started laser treatment at the a clinic in Leicester, which uses the technique to remove 20,000 tattoos every year."

Meme - "PLEASE BUY A HOUSE FROM ME. I'M NOT BUILT FOR ONLYFANS. SUNSET MISSISSIPPI REALTY LLC
Karen Tran, Realtor"

Meme - Miss independent: "I just want a boyfriend that will be giving me 70% out of his daily income"
"But your twitter name is Miss Independent?"

Married man posed as woman to lure 8 teenage girls to have paid sex with him - "When posing as other men to lure girls for paid sex did not work, a married man pretended to be a woman instead and offered girls the "opportunity" to earn money for sex acts.  He then posed as his own "customers" and had sex with the young girls, paying them amounts ranging from S$50 to S$180 for a variety of acts. For 11 charges including sexual penetration of minors, commercial sex with minors and making obscene films, Angelo Anwyll Goh Hao-Yi, 34, was sentenced to four years and 10 months' jail... "Vacinta" told the girls the rates for each sexual act performed were S$60 for penile-vaginal penetration, S$30 for fellatio and S$100 for both, with additional costs for anal penetration.  They would be paid an additional S$10 for wearing school uniforms during the encounter and an extra S$20 to be filmed during sex. He ran this scheme for about two years until Apr 2, 2018, and had more than 2,000 friends on Vacinta's Facebook account at the time of investigations.  The eight victims he had were aged between 13 and 17... He chatted up another victim, who was 14, by pretending that "Vacinta" had also been raped. The teenager had told him that she had previously been raped."
???

Meme - Master Of Masculinity @CoreyCapella: "Women, We don't care about you being a CEO. We don't care what your corporate position is. We don't care about your PhD or Master's. We don't care that you're a Boss Babe. We care about you being feminine, cute, fun, flirtatious, chaste, fit, and friendly. Signed, Real Men"
"That's a lot of words for can't find the clitoris."
The level of derangement and hatred of feminists is amazing. And the hypocrisy - when they are otherwise against sex shaming - is palpable

SlouchedgOd on Twitter - "I paid for his beer and that of his guys, everyone loved me Grinning face with smiling eyesGrinning face with smiling eyesGrinning face with smiling eyes I didn’t know it was such a big deal for guys Smiling face with heart-shaped eyesSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes"
"My friend has a girl who feeds all of us on weekends, anytime he looks at another girl, we slap him on her behalf."

Meme - "If you can drink eggnog
You can swallow"

Naked woman parades through Italian city to prove she would be left alone - only to be hounded by a sleazy group of men - "the brazen lady was taking part in a social experiment and was fined £3,000 for public indecency.  The Star also reports that one of the men put his arm around the woman who brushed off his creepy advances.  The provocative female reportedly addressed the group of men saying: “It's a social experiment, to show that we're all good people.  "You are good, aren't you, boys?""
[+18] NAKED WOMAN WALKS THE STREET SURROUNDED BY MEN (BOLOGNA, ITALIA)

All>Meme - "YOU MATCHED WITH LA-TOYA"
"Marry me"
"Ahaha wow
How tall are you first aha"
"6'1
How much do you weigh first but"
"Ahaha
Definitely need to grow up a bit.. too young for me
My son has more respect that you... never ask a women that"

Meme - Man to Woman: "Yours is perfect babe, the tight ones hurt"

Meme Scruffy Guy: "I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR A VIRGIN TRAD WIFE"
Woman: "I WISH I COULD ONE DAY MARRY A DERANGED ASOCIAL SCHIZOID."

Why are Instagram female Influencers always Jetting off to Dubai? - "Have you ever looked at an ‘Instagram model’ and wondered how she affords to travel the world constantly without seeming to have a job or any actual modelling work? Have you ever looked at these 10/10 girls and wondered how they are able to spend their time in private jets and sunning themselves on super yachts without ever taking on paid promotions or creating any content that requires an actual skill?  HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED why, in these girls’ bios, there is often an email address for ‘booking inquiries’ despite the fact that these people are not actual influencers or models. These girls do not work with tourism boards or promote fancy hotels. They STAY in fancy hotels, sure, but they are not being paid to promote them... if you see a drop dead gorgeous girl with 100k followers on Instagram drinking cocktails in Dubai, there is a very high probability that she is being shit on by a rich Arab... sexually repressed cultures have some seriously messed up citizens. Seriously, if you want to create a whole society of perverts then make human sexuality taboo and you will be amazed how creative people can get. This may not be politically correct but it is true, don’t come for me... The ‘in thing’ in Dubai is a phenomenon that has come to be known as the Dubai Porta Potty... If you’re a rich Arab in the UAE (or perhaps a Saudi Royal) and you want to see just how low women from the West will sink in order to make a few bucks, it’s really very simple. You browse Instagram for the hottest girl you can find and then invite her to Dubai for a 30,000 USD paid holiday that she can post about to all of her adoring followers. And what does she have to do in return?   Well, the choice is yours.   Do you want to take a tonne of laxatives and take a dump on her chest? Do you wanna see just how happy she can make your 2 million dollar camel? Maybe you want her to put A LIVE SALMON IN YOUR ASS.  Well worry thee not, because in Dubai, anything is possible.   You don’t have to take my word for it. A few years ago a website named TagTheSponsor decided to expose Instagram models, and it didn’t take long for it to be inundated with screenshots of these girls agreeing to do all sorts of lurid acts for $. Tag The Sponsor features images and videos of hot young girls agreeing to do everything from pleasure camels to ‘have sex with’ (ie rape) 11 year old boys who ‘need to become men.’   The way that this all works is that the rich Emirate/Saudi/whoever will browse Instagram looking for a girl that takes his fancy. He will then send a direct message or email to the girl asking if she wants to go to Dubai for an all expenses paid trip. Usually the girls know the drill and they immediately begin talking numbers. The guy will offer around 5k for ‘normal’ sex, but then very quickly will start talking about how he will pay big money if she will indulge his fetishes. The fetishes are listed, the girl agrees (usually on video, as proof that she is consenting, which is a murky issue that we will cover later), and she also agrees to sign an NDA. The girl is then flown out to the UAE and that’s where the magic happens. In addition to doing whatever humiliating acts the man wants her to do, she will make sure to get a few snaps of herself on his yacht or in his jet and she will post the pictures to Instagram to flex her lavish lifestyle.   Of course, seeing pictures of a hot girl sipping Champage in a private jet is a perfectly innocent image to most people, but to those in the know, these pictures are a marketing ploy. The girls will list their locations as ‘London/Dubai,’ include an email address for ‘booking inquiries’ in their profile, and feature countless images of themselves living it up in Dubai, (images that mysteriously never feature other people, especially men).   Once you know the signs, it is very easy to spot a girl who is involved, especially when you take a peek at who they are following and the people who comment on their photos (hint – it’s usually wealthy Emirates)... let me insert a quote from an anonymous Instagram model who decided to tell Atlanta Celebrity News* about her experiences with Saudi Royals.   She says:  ‘I’ve literally been pissed on and shitted on so many times I just don’t understand why they like it (after the third time you get shit on you get used to it). I’ve had to have sex with a German Shepard dog in front of [Saudi Royalty]. I’ve got paid to eat shit. I’ve got paid to get beat up. I even had to stick a live salmon in some 65 year old man’s ass. I’ve had sex with 14 year old boys to make them men. I’ve smeared my face with their shit. So to all of you ladies that are going to bash me, I’m 24 years old and have 1 million dollars liquid in my bank account. I’m now retired and can have normal sex with whoever I want.’"
There're screenshots of chats with "models" and confessions from women about prostituting themselves to rich men, sex with straight/gay male models, slimy photographers etc

Meme - alexa_stel FIVE Palm Jumeirah Dubai: "Moxto HeMHoxKeuKo noctoto Can I stand here for awhile?"
maciejlaube: "Omg sexy@@@"
vilmar_12: "Sexy beautiful lady"

Meme - "PLEASE HELP! I came clean to my husband about having a 2 month long affair. He chose to forgive me as I'm pregnant and we've been together for half a decade. He's demanding a paternity test for when the baby is born. The results will be that the baby is his DNA because the man I was having an affair with is his twin brother. I never told him WHO the affair was with. Do I come clean knowing he'll leave me forever? Or do just bury that secret and continue on with life? This baby will be his family no matter what so he will forever be connected whether he wants to be or not... this is serious"

Meme - "Found out she cheated. So I stayed with her just to gaslight. Now shes in the mental hospital"

Court rules Alabama man should get engagement ring back after breakup - "A court of appeals on Dec. 17 ruled in favor of an ex-fiance who argued a $32,000 ring should have been given back after they broke off the engagement.  The woman sold the diamond ring for about a third of its cost... The appeals court said the woman was “unjustly enriched at his expense” since she refused to return the ring or its value, and the gift was conditioned on a marriage that did not happen."

Meme - "you know he’s broke when he buys you water"
"You know you’re broke when you depend on someone else to pay for your meal"

Mum-of-two says she is threatened with social services because of her huge eyebrows - "A mum-of-two says people threaten to call social services because of her massive eyebrows.  Defiant Sammie-Jo Hailford, 27, has painted on huge brows with liquid liner for almost a year.  She has since been trolled online and laughed at in the street - but she insists ‘bigger the brow, bigger the boy’... “I’m not a massive fan of beauty standards today... “People say I don’t get boys because I have big eyebrows but that is wrong.  “I have had quite a few men in my inbox telling me I’m beautiful and saying they would date me.  “They always mention the eyebrows first, so maybe there is a fetish there.”"

Meme - "*Male toilet: penis pattern*
*Female toilet: vagina pattern*
Opportunity was seen and taken. Kudos to you, door installer."

Meme - "I still can't believe I once catfished my sister and got her to send me nudes and I jacked off to them, I was a mess 2 years ago Jesus"

Prostitute who stole client's BMW after he refused to have sex with her avoids jail - "Prostitute Jennifer Whyte was placed on a structured deferred sentence for three months but warned she could still be jailed for the car theft."

Meme - ghostt0t @jennydeathh: "men who support their partners doing sex work have the biggest dicks sorry i don't make the rules"
ghostt0t @jennydeathh: "imagine being loved"

Meme - "Leanna, 28
28 miles away
I prefer my men non liberal. I've already got a pussy, I don't need another one"

Meme = "3mins into sex and boys be like "Did you cum?" Yeah...to the wrong house, pass me my clothes WEAK DICK BITCH."
Rajesh Meena: "Bruh female orgasm isn't even necessary for reproduction. If God doesn't care about you, what makes you think I do?"

Meme - "A black guy asked me out today which means I need to hit the gym huh"

Grey DeLisle on Twitter - "I got married at 19 and things ended when we were playing Scrabble. He asked me if I was cheating and I immediately broke down crying and tearfully confessed everything...because I didn’t realize he was talking about the game."

Meme - "How girls approach
*Silent stare*
*Silent stare*
*Leaves* "Ok, his loss""

Meme - "Emma 26
Trying to fall in love so I can stop can stop paying 100 percent of my rent. Austin is expensive. Also could use a stay at home dad for my dog and cat."

Study says men are nicer to women wearing high heels, sexy shoes - "a French study titled “High heels may enhance a man’s instinct to be helpful” published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior...   Nicolas Guéguen of the Université de Bretagne-Sud conducted several experiments and found that men’s behavior toward the opposite sex changed when women were wearing spiky shoes.  In one test, Guéguen pitted women in comfortable footwear against stiletto wearers and had them drop a glove and pretend not to notice. (Does anybody do that nowadays?) Men rushed to help the sexy shoe wearers/damsels in distress much more often than they did for the frumpy shoed.   In another experiment, women in both flats and heels asked men to participate in a survey. And guess what? The high-heeled data collector got more responses than the woman with her feet planted firmly on the ground... “Our results showed, that, in general, spontaneous help was offered more easily to women as soon as the length of their shoe heels increased,” Guéguen wrote.  Heel height for women, however, made no difference in their willingness to help other women."

Facebook - "unpopular opinion: seeking women with low body counts is rooted in pedophila. women fuck. women enjoy sex. women experience many partners. wanting women who are close to virginal, really stems from wanting childlike qualities into adults."
How to artificially increase your market value

Seeing Zooey Deschanel without bangs and glasses made me realize how nobody knew Clark Kent was Superman : pics

Ex-escort with two vaginas says she used one for work and the other for romance - "A former escort has revealed that she has a rare abnormality which means she was born with two vaginas, cervixes and uteruses – and she uses it to separate her sex work from her romantic life.  Evelyn Miller found out she had uterus didelphys at the age of 20.  She often uses two tampons as she has simultaneous periods – and she needs two smear and sexual health tests.  The 30-year-old worked in the sex industry for eight years and says her extra vagina was “handy” for endurance reasons and to separate work from her personal life...   "It was handy for endurance – if I had a lot of bookings and I was getting uncomfortable in one, I could just use the other one.  "It's tough being in a relationship with an escort for all sorts of reasons and you especially don't want your sex life compromised at home – it really enabled me to have that separation."...   "I actually fell pregnant during a foursome - we were filming with two of my girlfriends and my partner."

New Study Finds That Men Who Pose With Cats Are Less Likely To Get a Date - "A new study by the Colorado State University showed hundreds of women photos of two men, both pictured with and without a furry companion, and their responses clearly confirmed that women are less likely to swipe right — or say yes — to men if they're posing with a cat in a picture."

john patrick on Twitter - "If a girl tells you your dick is small, just remember her dick is literally zero inches long. Stay humble kings."

Meme - ">make a reddit account posing as a girl
>repost nudes got from /b/
>invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG
>send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff
>return that stuff for money
>use that money to tip camgirls"

Meme - "I'm not sure if I should be worried, My girl went out last night and got really drunk. She crashed at her ex boyfriends house and she hasn't been answering her phone all day. I hope she's ok."
"haha <3 my phone died i swear. we didn't have sex or anything we just hung out."
"That's good to hear. You can tell me if you did babe. You were drunk, it wasn't your fault."
"thats true its never my fault its always the guys fault. nope didn't do anything . he slept next to me naked though. i didnt look .im not a whore nor a bad girl"
"i love you baby"

Meme - Man: "Can I buy you a drink"
Attractive woman: "Sure!"
Unattractive woman: "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED" *leaves with attractive woman*
Cockblock! Most likely out of jealousy. Maybe this is why you need a wingman

What 'golden penis syndrome' is and why it's ruining dating for women - "A lack of male university students has caused what has been dubbed ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ in men who develop inflated egos due to the amount of interest their female peers show in them.  The term, coined by students at Sarah Lawrence College in New York and later popularized by American journalist Jon Birger, applies to heterosexual men on predominantly female college campuses...   ‘Of course, university sex ratios wouldn’t matter so much if we were all more open-minded about whom we date and eventually marry (which I think we should be)’"
Golden vagina syndrome is great though because women should get what they "deserve"

I moved my family to be nearer to married lover - but he won't leave his wife - "after five years together, I’m finally starting to see he has no intention of ever leaving her. Now I’m stuck in an expensive flat far away from my friends and family.  I never go out because I always need to be available in case he can spend a last-minute evening with me...   He told me his marriage was in trouble and they hadn’t had sex for years... He promised me marriage and said we would go on a holiday together.  None of this has materialised. I have since discovered that everything he told me about his wife is a lie.  They are still sleeping together because she is pregnant with their third child.  I recently discovered that he told his friends he will never get a divorce because he can’t be bothered."

Meme - "im hungry
DTF?"
"damn you're pretty straightforward hahahaha
yeah im down tho"
"by DTF i meant Din Tai Fung
yknow the resto"
"ah"

Confused Cat?? 😐 on Twitter - "I’m top 37% this month on OnlyFans. I made about $100. That means 63% of creators made less than $100 this month. do whatever u want with this information"
Keywords: Most OnlyFans creators don't make money, Most OnlyFans creators make less than, top onlyfans creators, of creators on onlyfans, do with this, of onlyfans

Sex-crazed teacher paid boy $500 to perform oral sex on her: Lawsuit | Toronto Sun - "Nicole Dufault pleaded guilty in January to three counts of aggravated criminal sexual contact... Another alleged victim said Dufault — whom the boys called “Nicky” — sexted him and said she couldn’t wait to “give him oral sex.” She also allegedly wanted to kill a female student because the boy was talking to her. One student said he traded sex with Dufault so she would help him cut classes."

Meme - "Leonardo DiCaprio is one lucky man. Camila Morrone has a great smile!"

Meme - "WE GOT MARRIED 1 year ago"
"Going to get my divorce papers 4 months ago"
"why my love doll is better than a real woman 2 months ago"
"My love doll gave me a urinary tract infection 2 months ago"

Meme - "Whenever my bf cums inside me I get ads for plan B and birth control which means my fucking iphone from across the room hears me say "cum inside me" and immediately gets to work on those targeted ads"

TikToker Shares 'Underboob' Hack To Get Free Shirt At Disney: VIDEO - ""Okay guys, new Disney hack. If you're wearing a shirt that shows a little underboob, they'll write you a ticket when you first enter...so you can get a free shirt at the nearest gift shop."      "I just got a $75 T-shirt just because I was wearing a shirt that was exposing my underboob a little bit. So, yeah, if you want free Disney shirts, that's the hack.""

2 in 5 US unmarried women would consider single parenthood: Poll - "More than two in five unmarried women without children in the United States - or 42 per cent - would consider having a child on their own without a partner, an Associated Press-WE tv poll of people under 50 finds. That compares to 24 per cent of men... few Americans think the growing variety of family arrangements is bad for society. However, many have some concerns about single mothers, with some two-thirds - or 64 per cent - saying single women having children without a partner is a bad thing for society. More men - 68 per cent - felt that way, compared to 59 per cent of women."
At least the majority are still tethered to reality

Meme - "Im not some sexy nerd because of my glasses. I'm just a slut who cant see."

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