"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is." - Chuck Reid

***

This isn't really anything we don't already know, but it's nice to have more information about an under-studied problem.


More women say: Touch Me, Pay Me
Straits Times, 24th December
[Ed: At first I thought this was about social escorts, or something]

Lawyers say they are seeing more men settling cases with cash to avoid criminal record

THE engineer, 36, was cutting his way across the dance floor of a Clarke Quay club earlier this year when a 23-year-old woman accused him of touching her buttocks.

The bouncers stepped in. The police showed up. And though he claimed he did not touch the woman, he ended up paying $8,000 to settle the case.

'I didn't want trouble and I didn't know what my company and wife would think if they found out,' he said in an e-mail reply to The Straits Times. 'That was my only way out.'

Under the law, certain criminal offences such as simple molestation cases, wrongful restraint and causing hurt can be settled out of court if the victim agrees to drop the matter in return for some form of compensation. An offender who has had his offence compounded will not have a criminal record.

But lawyers interviewed said that increasingly, they are seeing more men like the engineer seeking help for molestation charges and paying more cash to compound their cases.

This has prompted concerns among the legal fraternity that the system could be abused by women looking for pay-outs by making false accusations and men who might be getting off the hook by paying off their victims.

At least six lawyers interviewed said that they are seeing a pattern of drunk men being accused by women in their early 20s for molesting them in clubs.

According to police records, there were 110 cases of outrage of modesty in nightspots reported last year, about the same number as the year before. In the first nine months of this year, there were 72 such cases.

But the number does not show whether some of these cases have been compounded, as both the police and the Subordinate Courts say they do not keep such records.

Lawyer Chia Boon Teck handled five such cases in the last three months.

'The men are drunk, don't remember anything and have no defence against them,' he said. 'To avoid the whole saga, they'd rather just pay.'

Lawyer Amolat Singh, who handled four such cases in the last six months, said that the incidents happened mostly in clubs in the wee hours of the morning. The accused men were usually alone.

Lawyer Subhas Anandan, recalling a case involving a director of a public listed company, believes that there are so-called 'victims' out there trying to make easy money.

He said that the director was in a club, on his way to get drinks when he stopped to talk to some women. Soon, some men approached him, accusing him of molesting the girls. To avoid public scrutiny, he paid the girl $5,000 to settle the case.

'I was convinced he was set up, I also handled another three cases where it was the same modus operandi,' Mr Subhas said. 'If it's a reasonable sum, most guys will just pay. If it goes to trial, it'll be even more in legal fees.'

Lawyers also noticed that the compensation amounts have risen, from the average $1,000 to $2,000 some years ago, to above $5,000 these days.

Lawyer S. Radakrishnan, who has handled seven compounded molestation cases in the last year, said that some victims are now asking extortionate sums of between $20,000 and $50,000.

'It bothers me because they know that the accused are scared to go to court and don't want their families to know,' he said, adding that the highest amount he has personally handled is a $20,000 case.

Mr Subhas, who once helped a client claim $25,000 in compensation from a dentist who allegedly touched her breasts, said the sums paid out depend on the severity of the offence and also the ability of the man to pay.

One case that is a talking point among lawyers is that of a 48-year-old obstetrician-gynaecologist who last year paid a woman $51,000 after he was accused of touching her breasts, abdomen and thigh.

National University of Singapore law professor Michael Hor said that the system could be abused in two ways.

A man of means committing a series of outrages of modesty could 'buy' himself out of prosecution, for example. Alternatively, a calculating victim could try to extract unreasonably large sums of money in exchange for not going to trial.

The lawyers want a registry of victims who have agreed to compound their cases to be set up, to stop any kind of abuse.

'If we keep a record, we can make sure that it's not the same people who make these claims,' said lawyer Ravinderpal Singh, who handles about five molestation cases a year.

Prof Hor thinks the list of compoundable offences could exclude cases of outrage of modesty.

Some also suggested that a compensation cap be implemented.

Lawyers interviewed said that not all victims want money. Some demand an apology - in court or published in the newspapers. Others want a donation made in their name to a charity.

There are also those who insist on their day in court, no matter what.

These are usually the real victims, lawyers say.

Holiday Books - 'The Man Who Invented Christmas,' by Les Standiford - History of Charles Dickens and 'A Christmas Carol'

"Replacing the slippery Holy Ghost with anthropomorphized spirits, the infant Christ with a crippled child whose salvation waits on man's - not God's - generosity, Dickens laid claim to a religious festival, handing it over to the gathering forces of secular humanism. If a single night's crash course in man's power to redress his mistakes and redeem his future without appealing to an invisible and silent deity could rehabilitate even so apparently lost a cause as Ebenezer Scrooge, imagine what it might do for the rest of us!"

Dilbert: We pooled our bonus checks and got you this gift.

Pointy-Haired Boss: It's empty... Oh.

Alice: Better luck next year

"You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way." - Will Rogers

***

How do I know China wrecked the Copenhagen deal? I was in the room

"China's strategy was simple: block the open negotiations for two weeks, and then ensure that the closed-door deal made it look as if the west had failed the world's poor once again. And sure enough, the aid agencies, civil society movements and environmental groups all took the bait... Sudan behaves at the talks as a puppet of China...

China, backed at times by India, then proceeded to take out all the numbers that mattered... I am certain that had the Chinese not been in the room, we would have left Copenhagen with a deal that had environmentalists popping champagne corks popping in every corner of the world...

Campaign groups never blame developing countries for failure; this is an iron rule that is never broken. The Indians, in particular, have become past masters at co-opting the language of equity ("equal rights to the atmosphere") in the service of planetary suicide – and leftish campaigners and commentators are hoist with their own petard...

I left Copenhagen more despondent than I have felt in a long time. After all the hope and all the hype, the mobilisation of thousands, a wave of optimism crashed against the rock of global power politics, fell back, and drained away."


Recently, I commented that "Injustice which is spatially and/or temporally removed from the present is no indication of present cruelties".

This and another ("perceived oppressors can equally be victims of discrimination and injustice - even at the hands of the perceived victims") were labelled as "Confucian axioms - who can say they are wrong?"

Yet, clearly, people do claim a sort of infinite path dependence for past injustice (at least those committed by certain parties, while those by others are glibly elided), where past wrongs are some form of Original Sin that can never be erased.

"What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day." - George Bernard Shaw

***

(reposted due to a screwed up image)

Google Singapore Trends for 22nd December 2009:



1. nus exam results
2. nus results
3. myisis nus
4. nus exam results online
6. nus vpn
7. isis nus
8. nus webvpn
9. nus isis
10. nus cap calculator
11. nus singapore
12. dong zhi
16. nus email

(it was a release day for exam results and the server crashed)

My CAP Calculator appears on the first page of search results!

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." - Jean-Paul Sartre

***

The Straight Dope: Is it possible for someone to be tickled to death? - "According to Meerloo, the more important meaning of being "tickled to death" is not real death but metaphorical death--i.e., sexual surrender. Sez he, "In a deeper sense, being tickled to death means taking part in sexual orgasm and experiencing the _sterbe und werde_ feelings (to die and to be resurrected) provoked by deep ecstatic sexual satisfaction ..."The clitoris ... is in other languages called the organ of being tickled and titillated (in Dutch: _kitelaar_). All these words are also related to itch, the old English _yicchen_: a combination of restless hankering and irritation, of ambivalent yearning after fun and the taboo against giving in to the yearning.... `I'm being tickled to death' means ... that the pleasure is nearly too much for me.""

Hipsters repaint bike lanes in brush off to Hasids - " Groups of bicycle-riding vigilantes have been repainting 14 blocks of Williamsburg roadways ever since the city sandblasted their bike lanes away last week at the request of the Hasidic community. The Hasids, who have long had a huge enclave in the now-artist-haven neighborhood, had complained that the Bedford Avenue bike paths posed both a safety and religious hazard. Scantily clad hipster cyclists attracted to the Brooklyn neighborhood made it difficult, the Hasids said, to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress"

Why the female flirt is wasting her time - "Some girls merely flutter their eyelashes. Others snuggle up close and play footsie, while the really forward type might venture a touch on the thigh. But whatever the method of flirting it just doesn't work with most men, claim researchers... When shown images of women making advances, men tended to misread the sexual cues as friendliness. At the same time they mistook photos of women merely being friendly for sexual interest. The researchers also found that women overestimate men's ability to pick up on sexual signals. They argue that many females wrongly believe that the men are well aware of their attempts to woo, but are just not interested in responding."
One comment: "How about men either think every woman is sexually interested in them or they've realized that women are crazy, flirting all the time but are easily offended when you -think- they want something sexual. Many men would rather just ignore the signs women throw out than misinterpret them and risk getting into trouble."
Another: "The other way of interpreting this is that women are not very good at communicating clearly. The dysfunction in communication is generally the sender's responsibility, not the receivers."

Tiger Airways: Why do you not provide email or phone feedback? - "Tiger Airways wants to provide quality service to our customers through meaningful correspondence instead of casual e-mail responses. We believe all our customers deserve professional and well thought out letters in response to their concerns and that is why we put so much effort into researching and investigating every letter we write. We answer every letter we receive in the order that it arrives, with our best efforts to the matter concerned and whoever the person involved. This helps to keep our service level to customers high while keeping our costs low."
FAIL!

Mouthwash linked to cancer - "The ethanol in mouthwash is thought to allow cancer-causing substances to permeate the lining of the mouth more easily and cause harm. Acetaldehyde, a toxic by-product of alcohol that may accumulate in the oral cavity when swished around the mouth, is also believed to be carcinogenic."

What Not to Wear - Unfortunate T-shirts to be in when having your mugshot taken.

Muslim police chef defeated in 'bacon roll' tribunal faces £75,000 legal bill - "A Muslim chef who lost a claim of religious discrimination against Scotland Yard after complaining he was forced to cook sausages and bacon faces a legal bill of more than £75,000... [He] claimed suggestions by his bosses that he should wear gloves and use tongs left him 'stressed and humiliated'. Muslims are banned from eating pork under Islamic law. But Mr Khoja, 62, lost his claim in May after a police employee told an employment tribunal how she saw Mr Khoja eat bacon rolls and sausages... Another chef said he saw Mr Khoja once happily eat a sausage dish and told the court 'he was not as strict as some Muslims'. Judge Southam also heard how Mr Khoja had made 'wild and baseless' allegations about a human resource manager, allegedly making racial facial gestures."

Hangover from whisky worse than vodka's - "Darker drinks contain high levels of toxic substances called congeners, which is why these result in a shoddier hangover."

Remarkable Creatures - Clues to Toxins in Deadly Delicacies of the Animal Kingdom - "Blue-ringed octopus, floral egg crab, basket shell snails and puffer fish... Each of these animals is chock full of a powerful neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin... in general, animal toxins are distinct and specific to each group. For instance, the venoms produced by snakes and scorpions are made of different kinds of toxins. But the tetrodotoxin found in each dish of that deadly buffet is identical... animals do not make the toxin themselves... not all 120 or so species of puffer fish are toxic or resistant to tetrodotoxin... Puffer fish have eight versions of these channels encoded by eight separate genes... what does not kill the evolving animals makes them stronger, and deadly... evolution is more reproducible than previously thought"

"J.F.K.--The Man and the Airport" - Unknown, Suggested book title

***

“Race” on Broadway: Toying with taboos | The Economist

"“Race is the most incendiary topic in our history,” says Jack Lawson, a jaded, white criminal lawyer (convincingly played by James Spader) and the latest Mametian hero. He and his partner, a black lawyer named Henry Brown (a formidable David Alan Grier), are considering whether to defend a wealthy, white man accused of raping a black woman. “Do you know what you can say? To a black man. On the subject of race?” Henry asks the potential client (Richard Thomas). “Nothing,” says the man. “That is correct,” Henry replies. In a lean 85 minutes, Mr Mamet maps the minefield of any conversation about race, and this play is not without casualties...

Mr Mamet replaces moral righteousness with something more real. The law is “not an exercise in metaphysics”, says Henry, “but an alley fight”. There are no facts of the case, Jack adds, but “two fictions, which the opposing teams each seek to impress upon the jury.” These are laugh lines of the grim sort...

Everyone, it seems, comes to the table with a different viewpoint, a different personal history, a different way to feel aggrieved.

This is a powerful play. At a time when many Americans long to believe that electing a black president cancels out a history of slavery, prejudice and entrenched inequality, Mr Mamet reminds the viewer of the insidious forms of racism that poison ordinary thoughts. Is the white man innocent or guilty? Is the black woman a lying whore or an abused victim? The biases latent in every character, black or white, drive home the improbability of racial reconciliation in America. Audiences are sure to leave this play feeling self-conscious. But as Mr Mamet makes clear, consciousness alone won’t save anyone."

"Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians." - Jimmy Wales

***

This is quite freaky:


Sacculina - Wikipedia

"Sacculina is a genus of barnacles that parasitize crabs...

When a female Sacculina is implanted in a male crab it will interfere with the crab's hormonal balance. This sterilizes it and changes the bodily layout of the crab to resemble that of a female crab by widening and flattening its abdomen, among other things. The female Sacculina has even been known to cause the male crabs to perform mating gestures typical of female crabs.

After this invasion of the Sacculina, the crab is now unable to perform the normal function of molting. This would result in a loss of nutrition of the Sacculina and impair its overall growth. The natural ability of regrowing a severed claw that is commonly used for defense purposes is lost after the infestation of Sacculina. Although all energy is directed to the Sacculina, the crab develops a nurturing behavior typical of a female crab. The natural hatching process of a crab consists of the female finding a high rock and grooming its brood pouch on its abdomen and releasing the fertilized eggs in the water through a bobbing motion. The female crab stirs the water with her claw to aid the flow of the water. When the hatching parasite eggs of the Sacculina are ready to emerge from the brood pouch of Sacculina, the crab performs a similar process. The crab shoots them out through pulses creating a large cloud of parasites. The crab then uses the familiar technique of stirring the water to aid in flow.

The male Sacculina looks for a female Sacculina adult on the underside of a crab. He then enters and fertilizes her eggs. The crab (male or female) then cares for the eggs as if they were its own, having been rendered infertile by the parasite."


Or as Boing Boing quotes:

"[It] grows tentacles into every single part of the crab's body, even its brain, to control everything it does...It doesn't breed, but rears Sacculina's babies instead...even male crabs."

"Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians." - Chester Bowles

***

channelnewsasia.com - Local versus foreign talent debate one of top issues in REACH feedback in 2009

"In September 2009, the Prime Minister said the government will, over time, sharpen the differentiation between citizens, PRs and foreigners to reflect the responsibilities and privileges of citizenship.

The latest announcement from the Education Ministry is that it will put in place measures to differentiate between Singapore Citizens and PRs at the Primary One Registration Exercise from 2010 onwards.

And school fees payable by Singapore citizens, PRs and International Students will be further differentiated from 2011 onwards."


Making life hard for PRs and foreigners is not the same as enhancing the value of citizenship.

Beggaring thy neighbour is a losing proposition - while you screw non-citizens, the only advantage citizens have is arguably a feeling of relative privilege - or rather, the ability to cry, "Haha, sucker! I managed to get the same service at a lower price than you!". And possibly less competition for your kids for Primary One places.

The impact on the budget of charging non-citizens a few bucks more for school fees and healthcare is probably negligible, since they are still heavily subsidised, and it's peanuts compared to the cost of importing PRC scholars by the truckload. In any case, we run large surpluses every year, so it is doubly insignificant.

People are silly, with mercantilist, zero-sum mentalities, but even then these measures are and will be ineffectual in reducing public discontent.

"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything." - George Carlin

***

Me to a Jakarta-n: but anyway I not really interested in your hometonw
HAHA

Someone: yeah me neither


Frigid Girl: Millionaire Munir Hussain who fought off a knife-wielding burglar is jailed (while the intruder is let off)

"A millionaire businessman who fought back against a knife-wielding burglar was jailed for two-and-a-half years yesterday. But his attacker has been spared prison...

Mr Hussain and his brother then beat Salem while he lay on the ground, using a cricket bat, a pole and a hockey stick - leaving him with a fractured skull and brain damage following the 'sustained' attack.

Salem's condition meant he was unable to enter a plea to false imprisonment. He was given a non-custodial sentence-in October...

Judge Reddihough sentenced Munir Hussain to 30 months in jail for grievous bodily harm with intent. Tokeer was given 39 months because the judge said he had not faced as much provocation as his brother."

tihs is really really silly

Me: well if someone broke into your house should you be allowed to shoot him?

Frigid Girl: yes

Me: if someone molests you should you be allowed to break his arm?

Frigid Girl: yes

Me: no
there is something called disproportionate force

Frigid Girl: well, the problem is, in the heat of the moment, everything happens in a flash of an eye

like, the burglar tied up your family
yo're not about to stop and calcultae what's 'proportionate force'
your first instinct is to save your life and property

Me: yes, well, that's one factor
but the same can be said of crimes of passion
and many cases of homicide

we still punish these people

have you watched american history x?
there's this scene where edward norton catches some black guys trying to steal his car

so he catches one
and kills him
I forgot how. either by putting his head on the corner of the curb and dashing it in
or by whacking him to death with a baseball bat
or something

no self-defense is not justifiable to any degree

Frigid Girl: so you're suddenly christian about this
when someone slaps you you turn the other cheek?

Me: what does being christian have to do with anything

it's not about turning the other cheek
it's about using proportionate force

this is how fights happen

people think that someone is staring at them
so they go and beat the person up

I think the burglar should've been jailed also
and the businessman given a light sentence

Frigid Girl: eh this is crazy lor. the guy broke into the house, tied up the entire family, and is looting
and you said he's using disproportionate force

Me: he whacked the guy until he got brain damage

Frigid Girl: so it's only propotionate if the guy stabs one of the familymembers
a bit too late by the time he does it

Me: no
then it's called revenge
and that's wrong also

Frigid Girl: no

Me: it's the same reason you are not supposed to shoot defenceless enemy soldiers in war
but take them as POWs
there's this thing called the geneva convention

anyway I think 30+ months is too much
a year would've been enough

"Mr Hussain and his brother then beat Salem while he lay on the ground, using a cricket bat, a pole and a hockey stick - leaving him with a fractured skull and brain damage following the 'sustained' attack."

wah lao this is vicious

notice that he was not convicted for throwing the coffee table
or of tackling him even

Frigid Girl: if a guy broke into my houes
i'll be so scared that i'll really kill him if he got close enough
hahahha

Me: you're a girl so they will probably let you off

Frigid Girl: bleah

machiavelli said it - Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed, for if you merely offend them they take vengeance, but if you injure them greatly they are unable to retaliate, so that the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.

Me: if someone calls you machiavellian, it's not praise


Someone: : reading ur article [on violence against women]
i kinda agree haha

is better to be a woman nowadays
most of the time anyway
but only if you are a graduate
i think if you are like poly type there is still alot of
"unenlightened" types haha

Me: you mean it's bad to be non-graduate woman cos of "unenlightened" men?

Someone: : yar
and women themselves wont know their new found "rights"

if u see the upper parts of society
most women are like more dominant in the relationship
like most of my friends have the man wrapped round their finger

Me: one of my favourite examples is the woman who slapped an air stewardess cos she
thought she was hitting on the husband
in the end, fine
the best part: the man paid for it in the end

HURR HURR. sad for the men of your friends

Someone: : -_-
women damn neurotic

Me: yah I also say

Someone: : but its true right
most girls are in power

or is it just my friends

Me: go do survey

"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people." - Muhammad Ali

***

Singapore defamation case threatens press freedom - "This ruling further illustrates how press freedom is under threat in Singapore and sets a dangerous precedent for freedom of expression and journalism in the region"
"Press freedom" can't be "under threat in Singapore" because it hasn't existed for 3 decades.

The surprising persistence of Chinese communism - "Because the filters... are not readily apparent, the Chinese media appears as professional as the West, and most citizens have little idea they are not getting the whole story... Other authoritarian regimes now try to copy the Chinese “formula” for staying in power: just enough reform to co-opt the middle class, using nationalism to shore up the regime, and moderating (and monitoring) the flow of information into the country... The vast majority of the tens of thousands of “mass incidents” (protests) in China each year take place in rural areas. In the first quarter of 2009 alone, Chinese authorities estimated there were more than 50,000 of these incidents, which have become increasingly violent, with protestors wielding clubs, bombs, and other weapons against local officials... despite the party’s co-opting of urban elites, there remains, in influential intellectual circles, discussion of the need for greater liberalization"
The Chinese Communist Party, not Chinese Communism

St Matthew's progressive Christianity offends Catholics - "A RISQUE billboard that depicts Jesus's mother looking dejected after unsatisfying sex with Joseph has given Kiwi Catholics a nasty pre-Christmas surprise. The huge ad erected in downtown Auckland today shows the unhappy couple in bed accompanied by the slogan: "Poor Joseph. God was a hard act to follow"... It was the brainchild of a progressive Christian church, St Matthew's, whose vicar Archdeacon Glynn Cardy says it was a cutting-edge strategy to engage non-believers"
Censoring (anti-)religious speech hurts religion.

The Singapore Solution — National Geographic - "Over time, the MM says, Singaporeans have become "less hard-driving and hard-striving." This is why it is a good thing, the MM says, that the nation has welcomed so many Chinese immigrants (25 percent of the population is now foreign-born). He is aware that many Singaporeans are unhappy with the influx of immigrants, especially those educated newcomers prepared to fight for higher paying jobs. But taking a typically Darwinian stance, the MM describes the country's new subjects as "hungry," with parents who "pushed the children very hard." If native Singaporeans are falling behind because "the spurs are not stuck into the hide," that is their problem... one thing you don't see in Singapore is very many police. "The cop is inside our heads"... attempts to encourage originality have been tone-deaf. When Scape, a youth outreach group, opened a "graffiti wall," youngsters were instructed to submit graffiti designs for consideration; those chosen would be painted on a designated wall at an assigned time... According to a poll by the Durex condom company, Singaporeans have less intercourse than almost any other country on Earth... This could be the fatal error in the Singapore Model: The eventual extinction of Singaporeans... As one local put it, "Singapore is like a warm bath. You sink in, slit your wrists, your lifeblood floats away, but hey, it's warm""
And so the demographic hollowing out continues, encouraged by the Power That IS

The Straight Dope: Do you "go down three times" before drowning? - "Interestingly, there are several distinct ways of drowning. In perhaps 10 percent of all cases, the victim does not actually breathe in any water, but instead dies of asphyxiation due to laryngospasm, or reflex closing of the vocal cords. (This may be what causes drunks to drown, although others suggest the cause is actually sudden heart stoppage). There's also a big difference between drowning in fresh water and drowning in salt water. In a freshwater drowning, the inhaled water is quickly absorbed out of the lungs and into the bloodstream. Unfortunately, the water washes away the wetting agent (the surfactant) in the lung air sacs (the alveoli) that helps keeps the sacs inflated. As a consequence, the air sacs collapse, oxygen can't get into the bloodstream, and the victim expires. In a saltwater drowning, on the other hand, the inhaled salt water draws blood plasma out of the bloodstream and into the lungs. The subsequent fluid buildup in the air sacs prevents oxygen from reaching the blood, resulting in death."

The Straight Dope: How did the states establish long straight borders before GPS? - "In the 1770s a party-hearty type named Collins led a team that surveyed the boundary between Quebec and Vermont. On one 22-mile stretch, a fifth of their expenses went for booze. The result, an international commission later acknowledged, was "very far from a straight line.""

"Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything." - Floyd Dell

***

All jokes are offensive (except for puns)

It is my contention that more or less all jokes in existence (except for puns) are offensive in some way.

[Addendum: "Puns are offensive because they exclude people who are not able to understand the contextual joke in English."]

I shall illustrate this point with the Buffalo Clean Chips for 20th December:

1) Christmas Chips

'Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest
And all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly; our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punch bowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bed sock was taped to each walker in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmassy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bedpans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive-the joy wouldn't stop-
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games
Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats!
Our resident wanderer was tied to her chair
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf it just didn't matter.)

A strange little fellow flew in through the door
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
'Twas just our director, all togged out in red,
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
our social security checks had arrived.
We sang-how we sang-in our monotone croak,
Till the clock tinkled out its eight p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
'Fore long you'll be with us. We wish you the best.

-> Perpetuates inaccurate and demeaning stereotypes about Senior Citizens as useless and senile. Ridicules their miserable dietary options. Paints a dreary picture of old age completely at odds with the reality of how many Seniors lead active and fulfilling lives.

2) Indian Chips

The Indian Matchmaker
Once upon a time, in Colorado,
the chief of an Indian tribe,

I believe it was the Navajos,
had a very beautiful daughter.
And she was of marrying age.

And many, many braves were wanting
the daughter's hand in marriage.

Well, being a wise chief, he decided that he wanted his daughter to marry the bravest and strongest and wisest brave of the bunch. So he held a contest.
All the eligible bachelors were to go hunting and the brave that brought back the biggest and best catch would be given the chief's daughter in marriage.

A lot of braves turned out for this event. On Monday morning they
all set out, bows and arrows in hand.

Well, on Tuesday afternoon,
all the braves had brought their killings in - Except for three:
Running Bear, Sitting Bull, and Falling Rock.

On Wednesday morning,
Running Bear brought in a really
big black bear, weighing 480 pounds
and 7 foot in length.

The chief was quite impressed.
This was the best killing of all so far. But, of course, they had to wait for the remaining two before he could award his daughter to Running Bear. Well, on Wednesday night, Sitting Bull brought back a really, really big cougar, even bigger than the black bear that Running Bear had come home with.

The cougar weighed 620 pounds and
was 7 1/2 feet long.
Clearly, Sitting Bull was about to win the chief's daughter's hand in marriage. Excitement rose within the camp. Everyone was pretty sure that Falling Rock couldn't top Sitting Bull's catch! Thursday came and went ..... Friday came and went ..... Saturday came and went .....

The weeks turned into months
and the months into years,
and still Failing Rock did not return.
It was obvious, the chief couldn't wait forever for Falling Rock to
return.

So he granted his daughter to Sitting Bull and they lived happily ever after, and the tribe no longer waited for the wayward brave, but they did keep their eyes open when out on the trails.

And today you will still see in Colorado those signs that say,
"Watch for Falling Rock."

-> Pun

3) Coast Guard Chips

*Coast Guard Christmas*

T'was the night before Christmas and all through each state, Coast
Guard families were starting to celebrate. Just then from the white
House came an urgent call, A crisis had arisen that would affect one
and all.

In fact the U.S. State Department was frantic,
For Santa Claus had just landed in the Atlantic!
It was foggy as ever; Rudolph had made a blunder.
Santa, sleigh, and eight reindeer were 'going under.'

Though the stockings were hung by the chimneys with care. Poor Santa
gurgled, "I'll never get there!" When what to his wondering eye
should appear; But some coast guard cutters with their rescue gear!

The officers and crew were so lively and quick;
Sure was a lucky break for good ole Saint Nick.
With a nod from the captain, they went right to work.
Rudolph was embarrassed; he felt like a jerk.

Poor Santa was soggy, but as anyone could see,
He was very grateful to the U.S.C.G!
And we heard him exclaim as they towed him from sight,
"If it weren't for age and weight, I'd enlist tonight!"

-> This is not a joke?!

4) Psych Chips

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged


Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and  Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna  Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Depression: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely

Passive-Aggressive Personality: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)

Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

-> Mocks the mentally ill and increases their social stigma. Highlights the most negative stereotypes of the mentally ill, ignoring the reality the diversity of mental illness and the fact that, with proper medication and treatment, most mentally ill people lead rewarding, fulfilling and productive lives, and are a joy to their friends and family.

5) Marine Chips

Operation Order 12-2004 For: Official Visit of LT JG Santa Claus


1. An official staff visit by LT jg Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Army personnel during the visit.

a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring
permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-Officer. Stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.

b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."

c. Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in "T" ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced.

d. Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. 1SG's will submit stocking handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec. All leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are briefed on the safety aspects of stocking hanging.

e. At first [sign] of clatter, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes. On order OPLAN 7-01 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), dated 4 March, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. SDO and all CQs will be familiar with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in Bldg 9828 prior to the start of official clatter.

f. Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment will be assigned "wandering eyeball" stations. The SDNCO will ensure that these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn and sashes are thrown.

g. The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security Agency and the Motor Pool will assign on each Sleigh, Miniature, M-24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LT jg Claus. The assigned  driver must have a current sleigh operator's license with roof top  permit and evidence of attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his DA Form 348. Driver must also be able to clearly shout "On Dancer, On Prancer, etc."

2. LT jg Claus will initially enter Bldg 9828 through the dayroom. All offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator M6A2 for use during the visit. Draw chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1 which  will be submitted in 4 copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec. Personnel will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before turn-in at the conclusion of visit.

3. Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" or "Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night." This shout will be given upon termination of the visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each section NCOIC.

FOR THE COMMANDER GOODE, U. B., LTC, OD Executive Officer

-> Unfairly mocks soldiers as so regimented they are incapable of even holding a Christmas celebration without spontaneity. Ignores the fact that soldiers are also human, endowed with equal rights and dignity as civilians.

6) !2 Chips

THE TWELVE THANK-YOU NOTES OF CHRISTMAS

Dec 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you. Your deeply loving Emily

Dec 26
Beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful! With undying love, as always, Emily

Dec 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank you so much; they're lovely. Your devoted Emily

Dec 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly--they make
telephoning almost impossible--but I expect they'll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I'm very grateful, of course I am. Love from Emily

Dec 29
Dearest Edward,
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I'm afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to "wring" their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. This time she's only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings. Bless you, Emily

Dec 30
Dear Edward,
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn't six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they've already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let's call a halt, shall we? Love, Emily

Dec 31
Edward,
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS. This morning I woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not think what's happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, stop! Your Emily

Jan 1
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows! Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I'm afraid I don't find it very amusing. Emily

Jan 2
Look here, Edward,
This has gone far enough. You say you're sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they're certainly not ladies. The village just isn't accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragos, with nothing on but their lipstick, cavorting round the green, and it's Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do (less and less), kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once! Emily

Jan 3
As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them, I have just noticed, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbors are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again. Emily

Jan 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I hope you're satisfied.

Jan 5
Sir,
Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 7:30 this morning of the entire percussion section of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and several of their friends, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock. I am, Sir, yours faithfully, G. Creep Attorney at law

-> Entrenches stereotypes of men as the active players in relationships and women as passive recipients.

7) Santa Chips

TOP TEN REASONS SANTA'S ASKING FOR A RAISE

10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.
9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionised, driving up his cost.
7. New tax on flying sleighs.
6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.
5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.
3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.

And the number one reason is........

1. The Mrs. told him to.

-> Perpetuates negative stereotypes of henpecked husbands and domineering wives.

8) Cold Chips

A Holiday Cold

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there.

One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop when suddenly he heard a very loud, "Snort sniff honk honk snort!" coming from one of his reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which one it was.

It happened again, only louder this time. "Snort sniff honk honk snort!"

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark.

"Shhh!" Santa hissed. "Please be quiet!"

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!"

Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified.

Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, "We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!"

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. "I know who it is because someone has sent me a note with his name written on this paper. But I want to give him a chance to do the right thing on his own."

Still none of the reindeer came forward.

So Santa did the only thing he could do.

He read off the rude-nosed reindeer. (Lee Daniel Quinn)

-> Pun

9) Parting Chips


My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help in covering the rugged ground.

I've never forgotten a story he told about being in the communications room of one of the base camps when a call came in. A panicked voice called to request another helicopter be sent up to the forward work camp.

A supervisor happened to drop in and heard the conversation between the dispatcher and the mechanic. He got on the radio to ask the mechanic on the other end why they need another helicopter.

The obviously harried mechanic paused before transmitting his reply, then said vaguely, "Well, the one we have won't fly."

The frustrated supervisor pressed the question, "Why won't it fly."

After a long pause came another reluctant response, "Well, I say it won't fly because it's upside down. The pilot says it won't fly because it's under twenty feet of water."

-> Makes people think that all mechanics are dumb jocks, and that pilots are smarter, even though some pilots are undoubtedly dumber than some mechanics.

10) Bonus Chip

A man went to his dentist because he felt something wrong in his mouth. The dentist looked inside and said, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replied, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything!"

"Well," said the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient.

"It's simple," replied the dentist. "Dental researchers have concluded that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

-> Pun

Insight of the day:


Women are irrational, and old women especially so.

Why else do we have old wives tales?

"A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck." - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

***

Cleaners 'worth more to society' than bankers - study

"The research, carried out by think tank the New Economics Foundation, says hospital cleaners create £10 of value for every £1 they are paid.

It claims bankers are a drain on the country because of the damage they caused to the global economy.

They reportedly destroy £7 of value for every £1 they earn. Meanwhile, senior advertising executives are said to "create stress".

The study says they are responsible for campaigns which create dissatisfaction and misery, and encourage over-consumption.

And tax accountants damage the country by devising schemes to cut the amount of money available to the government, the research suggests."


A: It seems believable that cleaners might make a far larger contribution to society than their pay suggests, and bankers far lesser compared to their own pay, but from what I understand the article to be saying, the real claim underlying the conclusions of the study is rather more dubious than that.

According to the study as reported, bankers destroy £7 of value for every pound they earn; advertising executives, £11; and tax accountants, £47 (as opposed to other occupations which generate value for every pound earned). This means that regardless of their pay, bankers, etc. make a negative net contribution to society. If this conclusion were to be believed, then bankers' compensation would not merely represent a misallocation of resources or the omission of externalities; it would mean that the very fact bankers exist, or that they are paid for their work, is a failure of the market.

Now, the report only calls for "a variety of policy recommendations to align pay more closely with the value of work", whereas no amount of pay adjustment could possibly align compensation with the value of work if the value is negative, as suggested by the phrase "destroy £7 of value for every £1 they earn". I'm thinking that the authors of the report (or perhaps the journalist authoring the article) found it reasonable enough to suggest (especially in the current economic climate) that such industries as banking, advertising and tax accounting had a net adverse effect on the economy, but did not wish to confront its logical conclusion that therefore these industries shouldn't exist in an efficient economy.

(Is it not possible to also deduce that if childcare workers are hired to look after tax accountants' children, thus enabling them to go to work, then the £9.50 of value they generate to society per pound of pay is neutralised by the £47 per pound of negative value the tax accountants generate as a result of being able to work, and therefore that childcare workers are only valuable to society when they work for certain kinds of people, such as cleaners?)

I think the reason why this sounds ludicrous might be because of the flaws inherent in presenting the value a person generates or removes from society in relation to his pay. In the first place, there can be no valid comparison of value if the report doesn't specify, "value generated/lost as compared to what alternative scenario?" If the advertising executive is absent from the economy, perhaps millions of dollars might be lost from company revenues, revenues which go to growing the economy and enhancing social welfare through wages and taxes. Conversely, why does a hospital cleaner create value if his employment is dependent on the existence of a healthcare system the size of which indicates the poor state of health, and thus the lack of welfare, of society? Besides, a dollar earned by a banker may well have a multiplier effect of more than a dollar in value created once the banker spends this dollar.

In any case, the questionable metric of "value generated to society per amount of pay" (what does it mean when a banker generates x amount of value?) seems to be the key problem here, and I think it clouds any analysis of the report's conclusions. I'm not very sure if I've gotten myself confused in the analysis as well, what does everyone think?


Me: Here is the original report for those who wish to read it: http://www.neweconomics.org/publications/bit-rich

It is an atrocious paper, full of rhetoric, low on solid evidence and packed with questionable (to use a charitable word) assumptions. Most of the report is just invective against the rich.

I didn't look at all of the 44 page report, but that was no serious loss.

Here are some of the many problems with the obviously populist study:

Bankers

- They assume bankers are *totally* responsible for the financial crisis, the recession (and loss in output) and the increase in UK public debt. The role of central banks, governments, developing countries' buying up US government securities and home buyers is ignored. They assume that the business cycle does not exist (i.e. that there would be no recession without bankers).

- They assume that a few thousand UK bankers (naturally, the most highly paid) were responsible for the financial crisis and that the rest of the industry was innocent. Yet, at the same time, only half of value added to the economy and tax payments is attributed to these few thousand bankers. In other words, the "costs" of these bankers are magnified and their "benefits" deflated. The only word to describe these assumptions is "fradulent".

- The main "value" of the bankers is their "Average annual contribution of the City to UK economic activity, as measured by gross value added". Presumably this doesn't include the benefits of a well-lubricated financial system (if the failure of the world financial system screwed up the world economy, the corollary is that a well-functioning financial system leads to a well-functioning world economy).

- The time of measurement for the "social loss" due to bankers. If they had made measurements before late 2007, they would have come up with very different results for the value to society of bankers. If you had used their analysis to measure, after World War II, the "cost" of militaries, you'd have come up with a figure at least equally as shocking.

Advertising

- They claim that advertising is responsible for "the costs to UK society of obesity, anxiety-related mental health problems and indebtedness" as well as "the substantial environmental costs from climate change and resource depletion", which is grossly unfair. Industry estimates of the impact of advertising are used, but obviously these are inflated by the industry (and probably half-plucked from thin air, like the methodology of this report)

- An even more fundamental issue - the baseline for "excess consumption" is the "Minimum Income Standard" (the level of income people think is needed to afford a socially acceptable standard of living in the UK today, and to participate in society). While this is not the poverty line by any means, there is a reason the word MINIMUM is used. Furthermore, some of the assumptions are questionable - it assumes a Single working adult "needs" to spend 4.49 pounds a week on alcohol and 30.95 pounds on "Social and cultural participation" (presumably, going to the cinema with your chums is a 'need' and not a 'want'). You can learn more about this MINIMUM standard at: http://www.minimumincomestandard.org/

Hospital cleaners

- They assume that hospital cleaners' value is due to a "reduction in Hospital Acquired Infections" (which is totally attributed to hospital cleaners, ignoring the roles of people like doctors, government policy, the advertising executives who came up with awareness campaigns and the bankers whose efforts have helped finance the expansion of the NHS ever since Labour came to power) and "the contribution of cleaners to the wider social value created by the hospital" (they don't even reveal what percentage they attribute, so I cannot judge if it is reasonable)

More fundamental issues

- The study looks as the average "cost" and the average "benefit" of the various professions to determine if we pay them "fairly". However, as economists we know that a more sensible way of paying people is to look at marginal benefit and marginal cost. We should pay people where the Marginal Benefit of employing them equals their Marginal Cost - NOT where the Average Benefit equals the Average Cost (which would lead to either over- or under-employment, not to mention a loss in Consumer and Producer surplus). This is related to the diamonds and water paradox.

- They assume that tax revenue is automatically good for society. Is tax money used to pay for MP expenses necessarily better for the UK economy than a tycoon spending his avoided tax money on High Street? How about taxes which are used for military spending (a liberal bugbear)? In which case avoiding tax would presumably be considered a good thing by the authors of this report.

- They claim tax avoidance is the same as tax fraud. Does this mean that if you can pay more in taxes you should? Are we morally obliged to find ways to increase our tax burden? This is nonsense.

The report is filled with lots more simplistic logic. Like saying GDP per person in Sweden is higher than in the UK although taxes there are higher. Ipso facto, "economic performance or prosperity is not adversely affected simply because of higher taxes". This is an epic FAIL in economic (or even normal) logic.

Although it is more economic than the so-called "Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics" (HOME), it still has many serious problems.


B: I'm not going to defend the study as precise - it's obviously intended to be provocative and full of "big ideas" rather than exact calculations. I certainly agree with A that the alternative scenarios for comparing value are (at best) imprecisely defined.

However:

1. I think Gabriel's first few criticisms of the study on bankers amount to the same thing, that it's not fair to attribute the financial crisis to the richest bankers without attributing more value created to them.

It's not clear that the most well-paid bankers necessarily did much to contribute to a "well-lubricated financial system" which helped a "well-functioning world economy". One could assume 1) that those bankers which carried out the most financially innovative, high-risk-high-return transactions which produced all that illusory value which vanished off the balance sheets (to the tune of the GDP of several nations, I might add) were the most highly paid, while those who contributed to the prosaic purposes of administering savings and conventional loans and overdrafts and ATM machines were not, and 2) that it is those innovative, risky transactions that are responsible for much of the magnitude of the financial crisis.

These assumptions also address A's point that the conclusion of the report seems to imply that bankers shouldn't exist, or shouldn't be paid for what they do. It might well imply this for parts of the banking industry as it exists at present. I'm not sure this implication is so outrageous.

2. Gabriel is simultaneously criticising the use of a minimum standard of living for measuring excessive consumption (implying one should use a higher standard) and criticising that minimum standard itself for being too generous by including a modest amount of socialising.

This confuses me, if no one else. Obviously if one objects to the very concept of identifying a minimum amount necessary for basic comfort and ordinary social participation, the whole exercise may seem strange, but having embarked upon it then we must needs come up with a notional idea of what's ordinary social participation, not what's the bare bones for survival. As someone who lives in the exotic land that is England, I can confirm from direct ethnographic observation that a pint in the pub on a Friday night and going for a curry and the cinema are typically regarded as fairly ordinary entertainments round these parts.

3. I don't think using advertisers' own inflated, self-promoting figures to produce a case against them is unfair. Actually, I positively relish it. No, relish is not objective. (Tasty though, especially with some mustard and a hotdog.)


Me: 1. The financial crisis was due to many people, from the people who came up with faulty models to the people in banks' risk management who failed to assess the risk of their banks' portfolios correctly to bank officers who approved housing loans to NINJAs (No Income, No Jobs/Assets) to Chinese officials who bought US securities to government regulators to people who took out housing loans they couldn't afford to pressure to allow more minorities to qualify for housing (i.e. giving minorities loans when they would otherwise not qualify).

To lay it all on the laps of the bankers is unfair.

2. My point with regard to this was that the "Minimum Income Standard" is drawn up with questionable methodology and/or assumptions, not that it is deflated or inflated.

Obviously we can argue over what is a "need" vs a "want", and a mendicant Buddhist monk's answer would differ from an Upper Middle Class organic food-eating, fairtrade coffee-drinking, pub-hopping, Ryanair-holidaying chap, but the point is that the idea of "overconsumption" is contestable (and perhaps not even intelligible).

3. I would not convict a man based on idle boasting of his exploits in a pub. Though I might rib him about it.

Here are some studies that show advertising has no effect on consumption.


B: On a footnote, I didn't recall seeing any parts where the report was "just invective against the rich", let alone this material amounting to "most of the report". Where is this "invective"? I would like to borrow some for future use.

Do you refer perhaps to the slightly mocking tone of the faked-up job adverts (all three paragraphs of them amongst 44 pages of text)? I have trouble finding anything else that could even vaguely qualify.

Or is it simply that having the temerity to argue robustly against myths about 'the deserving rich' constitutes the use of 'invective'?

On which note perhaps Pastor Martin Niemöller is turning in his grave:

http://www.hurryupharry.org/2009/12/17/first-they-came-the-rightwing-remix/


Me: Invective does not necessarily involve abuse - it can also be denunciation. And the report is certainly full of it.

A few specific examples:

i) "these City bankers are being handsomely rewarded for bringing the global financial system to the brink of collapse"

-> Many of the so-loathed bankers responsible for this debacle have left, and other bemused bankers have been working overtime to clean up the mess. Blaming all bankers for what some of them did [and not entirely knowingly] is like blaming your favourite minority for the crimes [and we all know the brickbats THAT will get you]

ii) "The wealthiest do not pay their fair share of tax and the very wealthy may pay none at all"

-> The "fair" level of tax is not defined (or even discussed) Presumably what is "fair" is paying the maximum that one can under the tax regime, and tax avoidance/optimisation is trying to escape your "fair" tax burden. But this begs the question of what level is "fair", and what forms of tax avoidance/optimisation are "fair" and which are "unfair".

For example, if I go to the trouble of filling up forms for VAT refunds when I leave a foreign land, this is a form of tax avoidance - am I paying my "fair" level of taxes? Are all forms of accountant-based tax avoidance necessarily "unfair"?

I would also be very interested in finding the very wealthy people who pay no tax at all. Obviously I need to change my tax accountant soon.

> Or is it simply that having the temerity to argue robustly against myths
> about 'the deserving rich' constitutes the use of 'invective'?
>
> On which note perhaps Pastor Martin Niemöller is turning in his grave:
>
> http://www.hurryupharry.org/2009/12/17/first-they-came-the-rightwing-remix/

I fail to see the relevance of this.

Lumping together those who are against rich-bashing with the most puzzling members of the right-wing is like condemning all those who work for social justice as Marxist Conspirators.

"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." - Frank Zappa

***

Alcohol Advertising

"Advertising increases alcohol consumption, which increases alcohol abuse....right? WRONG. There is no solid evidence from either scientific research or practical experience that this theory of advertising is correct.

A study by the Federal Trade Commission found that there is "no reliable basis to conclude that alcohol advertising significantly affects consumption, let alone abuse...

The definitive review of research from around the world found that advertising has virtually no influence on consumption and has no impact whatsoever on either experimentation with alcohol or its abuse. This is consistent with other reviews of the research...

If advertising doesn't increase consumption, why bother to advertise? The answer is simple: to increase market share...

A widely reported "fact" is that by the age of 18, the typical young person will have seen 100,000 beer commercials. However, to see that many such commercials, it appears that a person would have to view television for about 161,290 hours or 18.4 years. Thus, a person would have to begin watching TV 24 hours a day, each and every day, from birth until after age 18.

In reality, viewers are much more likely to see alcohol portrayed during TV programs than during commercials. For example, an analysis of prime time TV found that alcohol commercials appeared at the rate of 0.2 per hour while drinking portrayals during programs occured 25 times more frequently, at five times per hour.

Perhaps those who want to reduce the presence of alcohol on television should propose eliminating the programming and let children watch commercials instead...

One of the main arguments against alcohol beverage ads on television is that they "normalize" drinking in the minds of young viewers. To the extent that this is true, the ads may be performing a positive role.

The commonplace nature of alcohol ads on TV serves not to glamorize the products, as some critics suggest, but to cast them as mundane consumer products, right alongside aspirin, cookies, and alkaline batteries. That's a constructive way for young people to view them.

On the other hand, if we treat beverage alcohol as a dangerous substance to be avoided and not even advertised, we inadvertently raise it up from the ordinary into the realm of the powerful, the tantalizing, and the desirable Big Deal. In so doing, we slip into the familiar, failed pattern of demonizing the substance of alcohol rather than discouraging irresponsible behavior...

In spite of all the colorful rhetoric and emotional anecdotes, alcohol commercials do not cause young people to drink. The greatest influence of their beliefs, attitudes and behaviors are from their parents."

***

The macroeconomic relationship between advertising and consumption

"Profit-maximizing firms advertise in order to increase the demand for the goods they produce. Hence, we would expect increases in a firm's advertising to be associated with increases in consumption of the firm's goods, ceteris paribus. The increased demand for the firm's goods may be associated with decreased demand of their rivals' goods. At the market level, increases in advertising by the industry may not be accompanied by increased consumption of the industry's output. This is because changes in the levels of advertising among firms in a particular industry could merely rearrange market shares. If this is true then, in that industry, a firm which increases its advertising relative to its rivals will gain sales at the rivals' expense; advertising in this case is a zero-sum game.

When we aggregate across markets to consider advertising at the national level, the question of the effect of advertising upon consumption has still different implications. If increased advertising levels for the economy are associated with increased consumption, this suggests that consumers are increasing current consumption at the expense of future consumption (i.e., savings). If this is true, then advertising affects aggregate consumption and the business cycle...

Most previous empirical studies of the causal relationship between aggregate advertising and aggregate consumption reject the hypothesis that advertising affects consumption... The results of Ashley, Granger, and Schmalensee suggest that consumption might affect advertising but that aggregate advertising does not seem to affect aggregate consumption"

This study found a causal relationship, but I hate matrices so I zoned out.

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." - Jack London

***

From Boston.com's 2009 in photos (part 2 of 3) - The Big Picture:


"Palestinian civilians and medics run to safety during an Israeli strike over a UN school in Beit Lahia, northern Gaza Strip early on January 17, 2009"


"A Palestinian demonstrator uses a tennis racket to return an empty tear gas canister at Israeli soldiers during a protest against the controversial Israeli barrier in the West Bank village of Bilin near Ramallah October 23, 2009"

(naturally, they are much contested in the comments)

Parts 1 and 3 also make for worthwhile viewing

"Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML"

"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions." - G. K. Chesterton

***

While Singaporean English frequently has horrible constructions, there are also usages that are wrongly flagged out as incorrect.

For example, "alarmed" and "marketing" (which respectively can mean "fitted with an alarm" and "going to the market").

The word I will highlight today:

revert
(as in "please revert [to this e-mail]")

Yet, we find that:



"revert, v

6. a. To go back, to recur, to a former subject of discourse.

1587 M. GROVE Pelops & Hipp. (1878) 49 But leaue we them..And reuert to the Pallace, where no wight doeth idle stand. 1632 LITHGOW Trav. I. 26 This much in general.., and so I reuert to mine itinerary relation. 1660 F. BROOKE tr. Le Blanc's Trav. 246 Now I will revert to the Town of Barua, which I left for this short digression.

a1817 JANE AUSTEN The Watsons (1879) 359 His attention was so totally engaged in the business,..as never to revert to what he had been saying before. 1844 H. H. WILSON Brit. India III. 31 In the mean time, it will be convenient to revert to the more recent occurrences on the confines of Chittagong. 1875 JOWETT Plato (ed. 2) V. 70 Plato takes occasion to revert to his old proposal of the use of wine."


Even if you ignore the fact that language evolves, the fact that these "wrong" usages appear in our favourite dictionary should be enough to convince you that they are not wrong.

What other examples of wrongly condemned word usage can you think of?

"Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know." - Cullen Hightower

***

Who Should Own the World's Antiquities?

"In stressing the multiple meanings—aesthetic, textual, political, ritual—that an object may have, these contributors oppose the claim that art divorced from its archaeological setting is a cosa morta ("dead thing"), as an Italian cultural official described the Euphronios krater to de Montebello. "Few, I expect who have marveled at the scale and majesty of the Euphronios krater and the precision and elegance of line and its poignant depiction of a Homeric epic of the death of Sarpedon would concede that it is a cosa morta," de Montebello writes...

At the Art Institute of Chicago we may discover an exquisite ivory box that was used as a Christian reliquary in thirteenth-century Sicily, yet features an Arabic inscription; it was made from an elephant's tusk likely found in southern Africa and brought to Sicily by "Muslim traders from the Swahili coast." Such a work may in turn remind us of pieces in neighboring rooms—a carved ivory tusk from the nineteenth-century court of Benin, perhaps; or a fourteenth-century German monstrance—another kind of reliquary—consisting of gilt silver around a translucent vessel, the holder for the relic, that "was originally a perfume bottle made in Fatimid—Muslim—Egypt."...

Cuno worries that cultural property laws have given some states vast powers over world art. The Italian government, for example, may forbid an Italian citizen from taking a Matisse or even a Jackson Pollock out of the country...

Cuno lays much of the responsibility for the accelerating destruction of archaeological sites to such nations. In the absence of legitimate ways to acquire antiquities, their categorical and unenforceable prohibitions have simply made the looting worse. And where they have succeeded in preserving sites and monuments, he maintains, their laws have just as often caused a "perversion" of cultural heritage for the purposes of national identity and parochial politics.

Thus, instead of encyclopedic museums dedicated to gathering and furthering knowledge about objects from many different parts of the world, most archaeological countries have "national" museums, whose mission, Cuno suggests, is to use artifacts found within their own modern boundaries to fill out a spurious national mythology: Etruscan pots (more often than not manufactured in Athens) are used to define Italianness; Sumerian sculptures to define Iraqiness, Hittite jewelry to define Turkishness, and so on. In many such cases, he argues, the modern populations have no historical connections with the ancient cultures whose objects are being collected.

As a result, we have arrived at a situation in which ancient heritage is "divided up and claimed by modern nation-states as theirs, the property of only some of the world's people, made by their alleged ancestors for them and deprived of its rich diversity of sources and evidence of cultural influences." From here, it is only a small further step to argue, as Cuno does, that cultural property laws may reinforce the worst tendencies of nationalism:

I do recognize that nationalistic feelings have bred beautiful music, poetry, and works of visual art.... But all too often they have also hardened into ideologies with roots in fear and hatred of the Other, often with racist affinities. They then become dangerous as rep- rehensible means of oppressing others, sources of vicious, even barbaric sectarian violence, persuading colossal numbers of people to lay down their own lives in an effort to kill others.

... in contrast to the multiethnic Ottoman Empire, modern Turkey, apart from its Kurdish population, which is continually discriminated against, is overwhelmingly homogeneous: "Turkey and Istanbul," Cuno observes, "have become almost only Turkish and Muslim, when once both included large populations of Arabs, Christians, and Jews."

As a result, Turkey has developed a narrowly "nationalistic" approach to cultural property—denying, for example, the Kurdish minority control over its rich Kurdish heritage—even as it claims a diverse Ottoman past: it maintains an absolute prohibition on the circulation of antiquities found within its own present-day borders, because of their perceived importance to Turkish identity. Yet Turkish museums are filled with pieces like the Alexander Sarcophagus that were recovered from other former territories of the vast Ottoman Empire—objects, Cuno writes, that "could rightly be considered important to the cultural heritage and national identities of the modern states occupying those lands today."...

By the time of Saddam Hussein, archaeological finds had become subject to what Cuno describes as "political manipulation" aimed at serving "the ends of the Ba'thist Party." Yet he does not mention that such state interest—however questionable its aims—also meant that, until the economic crisis of the 1990s, Iraq had almost no looting, and foreign archaeologists considered its antiquities administration one of the best-funded and most professional in the Middle East...

The recent emphasis on repatriation as a solution to antiquities disputes is unfortunate: tracking down unprovenanced artifacts that may have left a country years earlier does little to address contemporary looting problems, and it rarely makes the objects in question more meaningful to archaeologists or accessible to the public than they were in a foreign museum...

Antiquities are ancient artifacts of times and cultures long preceding the history of the modern nation-state. And in all but a very few cases, they have no obvious relation to that state other than the accident of geography: they happen to be found within its modern borders.

... Archaeological countries must recognize that national ownership laws have often been a disastrous failure. Such policies—which were often accompanied by strict limits on antiquities loans to foreign institutions—succeeded only in driving the trade further underground; and museums ultimately had to face the prospect of criminal prosecution for collecting ancient art. Even as these countries fight to reclaim works, some of them, including Italy, have begun to acknowledge the flaws of prohibition."


Incidentally, even in their countries of origin, archaeological objects are cosa morta since they are almost never displayed on-site.

"The only sure thing about luck is that it will change." - Bret Harte

***

Seah Chiang Nee:

"One of the things I have learned in my 40 years of reporting is not to discuss current affairs with Singaporeans I don't know. It is often futile.

I have rarely succeeded in eliciting a spontaneous viewpoint about politics from them that is not straight out of a newspaper's headline.

This is quite unlike in other countries where I had been assigned to cover, including communist China, where people would often just open up to you.

The people of my generation were — and remain — a reticent, apolitical lot who were more concerned about good food than bad politics.

Most had no personal views or were afraid to express them, especially when it comes to a controversial government policy.

As tough times intensified, however, I have detected a whiff of change in the heartland...

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong... suggested a 24-hour "cooling-off" period after the campaigning and before Polling Day...

"(Elections) here are already devoid of any heat. Any more cooling and the elections will go into deep freeze, sending voters into hibernation," the Singapore Democratic Party cynically observed...

In recent weeks amidst the debate about foreigners "taking away" local jobs, I have encountered heated discussions in coffee-shops and hawkers centres, the like of which I had rarely seen before...

[One critic] expects more disgruntled people to vote to put more opposition candidates into Parliament"

Let's just say that we've experienced this time and time again, and each time the excitement about the imminent downfall of the ancien régime ends with its romping victory.

Celui qui ne vivra pas après la Révolution ne connaîtra pas la douceur de vivre et ne pourra imaginer ce qu'il pourra y avoir de bonheur dans la vie

"Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching." - Scott Adams

***

Hadouken! 14 Street Fighter Poses IRL

VULVA Original - "VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own sensual pleasure. The vaginal scent stimulates and complements erotic fantasies"
Uhh...

Men dont like leggy women - "Most of the women surveyed thought men lusted after longer legs despite the researching finding that men preferred women of average height where their legs accounted for half of their overall height. The findings back up research earlier this year that showed men preferred the shape of ordinary women, equivalent to dress size 14, than fashion models and Playboy centrefolds... men and women had very differing ideas of what was hot and what was not... clothes interfered with a woman's leg-to-body ratio, changing how attractive they were to men."

Married Sex - "Husbands often complain about too little sex... reduced sex might come from wives respecting husbands less than before, from seeing overly willing wives as lower in status, or from withholding sex to gain bargaining power on other issues... when better sex increased her unconscious fear of losing power, her unconscious pulled her away to regain that power. Marriage is a deal men enter into part to get sex, but a time-inconsistency problem haunts this deal. Most parts of the deal, such as who earns and spends how much, who does what chores, where they live, and so on, become entrenched in stable habits, which are hard to change from day to day. But due to complex female sexuality, the man is supposed to accept the sex part of the deal fluctuating from day to day and year to year for unknown and unexplained reasons. So the wife is less committed to her sex part of the deal than the husband is to most of his parts... Presumably overall this problem makes men less, and women more, willing to marry... I see two general ways to avoid this time-inconsistency problem: 1. Obligatory Sex... 2. Nonobligatory Other – remove something wives want lots from the usual set of stable husband contributions"

Ukrainian chemistry student killed by exploding bubble gum - "[He] accidentally dipped his chewing gum into explosives he was using for his studies, police spokeswoman Elvira Biganova told The Associated Press. She said the 25-year-old mistook the powder for citric acid, which he often added to prolong the gum's taste."

Bleeding Heart Tightwads - "Liberals show tremendous compassion in pushing for generous government spending to help the neediest people at home and abroad. Yet when it comes to individual contributions to charitable causes, liberals are cheapskates... The upshot is that Democrats, who speak passionately about the hungry and homeless, personally fork over less money to charity than Republicans — the ones who try to cut health insurance for children... as individuals, Europeans are far less charitable than Americans... religion is the essential reason conservatives give more... liberal donations frequently sustain art museums, symphonies, schools and universities that cater to the well-off... some research suggests that donations to education actually increase inequality because they go mostly to elite institutions attended by the wealthy... People in red states are considerably more likely to volunteer for good causes, and conservatives give blood more often"

Not so fair trade - "By guaranteeing a minimum price, Fairtrade also encourages market oversupply, which depresses global commodity prices. This locks Fairtrade farmers into greater Fairtrade dependency and further impoverishes farmers outside the Fairtrade umbrella... Coffee farms must not be more than 12 acres in size and they are not allowed to employ any full-time workers. This means that during harvest season migrant workers must be employed on short-term contracts. These rural poor are therefore expressly excluded from the stability of long-term employment by Fairtrade rules"

Internet rules and laws: the top 10 - "Poe’s Law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.”
Pommer’s Law: “A person’s mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.”"

John Schneider - "Cooter" Says Fellow Hazzard Castmates Victims Of P.C. "Vigilantes" - "A performance by the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra featuring John Schneider and Tom Wopat, who appeared in the 1979-85 series The Dukes of Hazzard was canceled after complaints that the series had "racist overtones"... Jones particularly criticized the NAACP for endorsing the cancellation. "I'm a life member of the NAACP and proud of it," he said. "Denying an artist an opportunity to entertain an audience because of somebody's wrongheaded political viewpoint is just plain un-American. I have fought for equal rights all of my life, and that is why I am speaking out on this.""

Animated GIF of the Day: Twilight: A Synopsis

YouTube - "Censored Sprite Ad" Is Fake (But Fun)

"By the time we've made it, we've had it." - Malcolm Forbes

***

Human behavior and psychology is often divided into the rational and the irrational, but one area that is sometimes neglected is the non-rational.

One example is emotion. While emotions can be irrational, and can lead people to do irrational things, in and of themselves they are not necessarily irrational.

If I love someone, this may be emotionally driven and be a non-rational decision, but it is not irrational unless it leads to irrational thoughts or behavior.

Taking a larger view, emotions are a kind of preference. For example, if I prefer chocolate to vanilla ice cream, this has nothing to do with rationality (unless I prefer the taste of vanilla to chocolate, and there is no reason why my preferences would be reversed for ice cream).

We see a similar false dichotomy in morality, where moral and immoral are labels that are often thrown about, but the amoral (what is neither morally good or bad) is often neglected.

What, then, would qualify as irrational behavior or thinking?

One example would be a violation of transitivity. If I prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla ice cream, and vanilla ice cream to strawberry ice cream, I should prefer chocolate ice cream to strawberry ice cream.

Another would be a violation of means-end rationality. If I want to get to the next town which is 100km away and I have $20, it would be rational for me to take the bus rather than walk (unless I have a lot of time, am stingy etc).

At first glance this restrictive definition of irrationality would seem to discount most of what seems irrational, but you will probably find that a lot of behavior we commonly label irrational can be shown to be such - if you dig deep enough. However, most of us have better things to do (which is why we don't represent arguments in formal logic unless we're in Philosophy Academia).


Addendum:

Or, quoting Hume:

"Reason alone can never be a motive to any action of the will...

Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them...

A passion can never, in any sense, be called unreasonable, but when founded on a false supposition, or when it chuses means insufficient for the designed end"

"Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn't be religious people." - Doris Egan

***

AP: Tiger Woods Is Racist - He Only Cheats With White Women

"[AP] labeled the golfer racist not only for "declin[ing] to identify himself as black," but also because of "the race of the women" he's involved with.

On top of this, the AP made the case that America's fascination with Woods's philandering is only because he's cheating with white women...

Little attention has been given to the race of the women linked with the world's greatest golfer.

Except in the black community... Woods has declined to identify himself as black, and famously chose the term "Cablinasian" (Caucasian, black, Indian and Asian) to describe the racial mixture he inherited from his African-American father and Thai mother.

So Woods is wrong for not considering himself black even though he is one quarter Chinese, one quarter Thai, one quarter African-American, one eighth American Indian, and one eighth Dutch?

But there was yet more racial absurdity in this piece... blacks have historically fought against "white racist opponents of mixed marriage":

"But at the same time we still see him as a black man with a white woman, and it makes a difference," said Johnson Cooper, a 26-year-old African-American from New York City. "There's just this preservation thing we have among one another. We like to see each other with each other."

Wow! So, on the one hand, blacks have fought against "white racist opponents of mixed marriage." BUT, they're against black men marrying white women.

Not only did the AP miss this hypocrisy, it actually defended it:

The color of one's companion has long been a major measure of "blackness" — which is a big reason why the biracial Barack Obama was able to fend off early questions about his black authenticity.

"Had Barack had a white wife, I would have thought twice about voting for him," Johnson Cooper said.

Wow!

So if Michelle Obama was white, blacks wouldn't have voted for her husband?

Somehow the AP missed this racist hypocrisy as well.

Add it all up, and Woods is racist for cheating with white women, Americans are racist because they wouldn't be interested in this story if his mistresses were black, and it's okay for blacks to resent black men that are involved with white women.

Any questions?"


The original article doesn't actually level the implied accusations, but certainly it fails (or doesn't try very hard) to point out all the hypocrisies when blacks are slammed for not behaving or identifying as black.

"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority." - Thomas H. Huxley

***

From Storm, by Tim Minchin:

"If you must watch telly, you should watch Scooby Doo.
That show was so cool...
Because every time there was a church with a ghoul,
Or a ghost in a school,
They looked beneath the mask, and what was inside?
The fucking janitor or the dude who ran the water slide!

Because throughout history,
Every mystery ever solved,
Has turned out to be...
Not magic!"