The Mongols vs Covid

Bryan Mac on Twitter:

"Did previous civilizations deal with whiners like this?

"Man, we've gotta open the gates."
"We've been through this, Phil. The Mongols are still outside."
"But I've gotta harvest my turnips"
"MONGOLS" "Ugh. But we've been in here or WEEKS."
"That's how sieges work, Phil."
"But the Mongols have barely killed anyone in days."
"That's because of the walls, Phil."
"Are you sure? Maybe the Mongols aren't that dangerous."
"..."
"I'm just saying, how bad could it be. They can't kill ALL of us"
"That is literally the thing they do."
"But my turnips..." 

 

It's been over a year since this text beloved of covid hystericists went viral, and I saw someone just shared it again (to widespread approval).

Naturally, covid hystericists have learnt nothing after more than a year and their appetite for lockdowns is unsated.

 

Here're 2 more accurate ways this scenario would have played out - 1 historically accurate (to the Mongol era) and 1 relevant to covid.

      
Historically accurate:

"Man, we've gotta open the gates."

"We've been through this, Phil. The Mongols are still outside."

"But we're running out of food and the Mongols have promised clemency if we surrender. Half of our population has died of starvation and/or disease in the last few months, and the rest are hungry and/or sick. We've seen how cities that have resisted have been massacred to the last man. No one is coming to our aid and the Mongol army is growing stronger. Soon they will storm the walls and slaughter us all"

 

Relevant to covid:

"Man, we've gotta open the gates."

"We've been through this, Phil. The Mongols are still outside."

"But I've gotta harvest my turnips"

"MONGOLS"

"We're running out of food. If the Mongols don't get us, starvation will"

"MONGOLS"

"Actually, you keep shouting MONGOLS but we haven't seen them for weeks. How long are we going hide behind our walls?"

"You don't know that they aren't hiding behind the hills, ready to charge in and kill us all once we open the gates"

"But if we don't get more food, we're all going to die anyway"

"Are you heartless Phil? Think of all the people the Mongols will kill once they attack. Just another week more"

"But that's what you said last week"

"We follow the science! Our soothsayer has gutted a new cow and read its entrails. When the facts change, we change our minds"

"The other soothsayer disagrees"

"Oh he's a quack. We must protect our population at all costs"

"Well, all of you can starve if you want. I'm harvesting my turnips"

"Put Phil in prison!"