"The happiest place on earth"

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

NDP:

They start with the pledge. Maybe they're afraid no one will remember it.

All the ads around the NDP broadcast are for local companies. Hurr hurr.

Perhaps I shall go for NDP one year dressed in black.

I hope no one wished the paratroopers "Break a leg".

The band people's costumes look very cheap - like they'll fall apart when you poke them.

Why is Chiam See Tong in white? Tsk.

LKY's shirt is totally transparent. Maybe he wears the same one every year.


I wonder how many of the people giving greetings from overseas are scholars.

The woman from London had a silent Ang Moh man standing next to her, hurr hurr.

They only had one greeting from Perth. Considering how many Singaporeans are there, the absolutely pathetic turnout is telling.


They're going to show us their "version of the Singapore Story, in 10 chapters". Why do I have the feeling someone will be crying.

The kids must be very sad this year. They have to do even more nonsense than in other years.

Sang Nila Utama has a very strange accent.

I'm glad they don't have the mutant multiracial lion anymore. The one-person lions are damn sad.

Why're they jumping the gun to the terrorist attack? Sang Nila Utama is still on stage!

Some of the kids died in the terrorist attack. At least their CPF is freed up now. Oh wait, kids don't have CPF...

Oh god, they mixed in Night on the Bare Mountain.

"Certainly, the audience are on the edge of their seats" - they looked very bored to me.

The flares the coast guard shoot at the "terrorists" keep missing. This shows you how incompetent they are.

The Chinook flies in to a bad Band rendition of Ride of the Valkyries. Ugh.

Since mines are activated by magnetic proximity, shouldn't the Chinook hovering so near one activate it?

The skit showing Part-Time Slaves being activated (the woman passing the wrong helmet to her man twice in a row) just shows you the high level of support our Singaporean Women have for Slavery.

The bagpipers look like they're all girls. Probably Singaporean sensibilities will be offended by seeing a guy in a kilt (skirt). The Scots are probably very pissed off at seeing girls in kilts.

The NDP video screen looks like Sauron's Eye.

"Very well-loved by the people" - description of S.R. Nathan. Luckily they didn't mention his second "election", only the first in 1999.

I wonder what will happen if some terrorist from a skyscraper shoots a bazooka missile through the flag born aloft by the Chinook.

The flag that flies during the inspection of the Guard of Honour looks torn and tattered, like some beach rag.

I'm amused that "NDP" is trending on Twitter. I wonder if it is more popular than #awaresg was.

#awaresg trended on Twitter! Is "trended" even a word?
#awaresg on Twitter - #1 spot!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
NDP on Twitter - #5 spot (7:20pm)

No one shouted "IA! IA!" during the salute.

The marching contingent must be damn pissed off at whoever made them march 3.2 km. Especially the poor guys with the colours.

The kids' marching is pathetic compared to the full-timers. Hell, even NTUC, PAP, Capitaland etc march better than them.

The leader of the Red Cross contingent was wearing heels. Wth.

I wonder if they sell DVDs of past NDPs.

The trishaw riders must be damn sad. They can't rip tourists off while participating in NDP.

Peranakans are participating in NDP for the first time. How appropriate - if they'd delayed much longer, they might not be able to anymore, having disappeared due to governmental policies trying to drive them extinct.

"Over here in the West, we have not one but two universities. All the best brains in Singapore are in the West"
Me: All the best brains in Singapore are overseas
TMM: Maybe it's a metaphor

Black and white videos. Oh god. Next someone is going to shout "Merdeka!" and then cry.

Interestingly, the 60s rock and roll segment would've been illegal in the 60s in the Real Singapore, as rock and roll was considered an import from the decadent West - the same reason jukeboxes were shut down all across the island.

The pole dancers are actually not bad. They must've improved after being slammed.

They brought in people from Kampung Buangkok. Just like the Peranakans. How appropriate. Maybe they lured them out so they could demolish the kampung while they weren't around. And they're gushing about how clean Singapore is - not like they've never ventured out of their kampung.

They didn't subtitle the Malay woman's Malay speech. So much for racial harmony. Then again, Malay *is* our National Language.

[Gap because I was frying prawn toast]

There was a little boy who said he wanted to be a pianist. FAIL!

One of them said he wanted to be a soldier when he grew up. News for you kid, all of you HAVE to be soldiers.

One of them should've said "When I grow up I want to migrate".

LKY's eyes were closed during the part about inclusiveness. Hah.

They released balloons into the sky. Now the environmental activists will complain.

The women from Soka have hideous balloons on their heads. They make them look like Medusa, or women with head cancer. And they're shaking their butts coyly - I thought being sexy was not a Buddhist virtue.

The boat with the globe zooming in looks like a garbage barge.

Hah, they showed Li Jiawei. She probably isn't een Singaporean anymore.

Our sports people are all female. Hah.

[Gap because I was taking out the ice wine]

People jumping for joy in front of an ERP gantry? Siao.

"Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!" - Sounds like a song about erectile dysfunction.

The one heading the creative team is a Colonel. Yeah right, I bet Ivan Heng did all the work.
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