"The happiest place on earth"

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch." - Michael Friedman

***

Quotes:

[On visiting the Bible Belt] Get raped and left in a ditch? [Someone: Go with XXX] [XXX: If they rape me, I'll rape back]

[On Malays and thinking long term] When they want to date, they're very chivalrous in a way. [Someone: Very creepy, in a way]

All the CH foods taste good. Chocolate, champagne, cakes, char kway teow.

[Me: I should dig up all the atas carols...] As long as it's not in English.

Is this from Peaberry and Pretzel? [Someone: I don't taste Peaberry]

You actually want long hair? [Me: What do you think I've been doing the past 4 years?] Making a huge mistake?

Do you agree with my statement? Men cna work with men, men can work with women, but women cannot work with women. [Girl 1: Yes, I agree] [Girl 2: Yes, it's true]

[Me: Why are you so focused on Banking and Consulting?] [Female Friend:] I'm not focused on Banking. I just want to do something I like. One of them is adult entertainment. [nw.t: Performing or production?]

I don't treat you as a female... I treat females as 1 of 2 things. 1: sex or 2: a means to get sex. [Someone: I look at men the same way] [Me and nw.t: Err...]

You don't have to believe in anything. I don't believe in anything, but I'm on one of the moss management board (mosque's, boards)

[On JB] Guess how old she is? [Someone: Too young for me.]

[Me on children: I believe in not bringing suffering into the world] Both of you can adopt a kid. [Me: Err, I don't want to bring suffering into -my- world.]

I thought he was gay. [Me: Was he?] I realised he was just French

[On his law firm and pupils] 'We prefer you to do individual research'. Individual research, so some girls went to read Twilight.

[On Facebook] I figured if you delete people, they will know. Because of this thing called 'People you may know'. Sooner or later you'll show up. You need to block them.

British girls are slags. They sleep with everyone. [Me: Do they sleep with you?] No

[On interracial dating] What are the implications of your theory? [Me: You're screwed lah]

There're 3 things you want a woman to be - a main in the parlor, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom... The maid you can hire, the cook you can hire, the whore you can hire. [Me: Might as well outsource, more efficient]

I hope he's doing her. [Me: Which part of 'Frigid' do you not understand?] I hope he's doing her.

Given French girls are hot, but it's too much bloody trouble. You have to learn the language... I spent 6 months learning French and one and a half years flirting

Gabriel doesn't look Singaporean. You look like you're from the Northern part of China, not the Southern part.

[On Singaporean lab culture] Even my lab culture sucks. I don't know how they can sit there for 12 hours and not talk to each other. Bunch of fucked up assholes... I go there at 10am in the morning to get my laptop. One guy there watching porn... 37 year old, married.

There are people talking about your penis on Facebook. [Me: Huh? How come I don't know?!]

[Me on Progressives: What does Awareness do?] It makes people depressed. And leads to fatigue.

[On Gandhi sleeping in between teenage girls] If they're like Engin girls, then not much self control.

[On a Japanese girl] You play Truth and Dare with her, everything come out (comes)

[On abstinence] This is a drinking game. You have to have a drink [in front of you], even if you're not drinking

[On a rabbit] He looks like a bowling ball

[On off wine] I'll drink it. It's alcohol. [Me: So is mouthwash]
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