"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." - Robert Benchley

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I wasn't intending to do a post until at least after I finished some work due tomorrow, but this is very interesting:

My sources informed me of a very amusing incident that has been captured for posterity on Webcast. Students and Staff of the Premier Institution of Social Engineering may view the following incident on webcast: (ask me for details).

Lecturer: Okay, the next example, I think we will do it after the break. Alright, but before you go for your break, the surprise is not here yet, alright, so let me do something first.

Lecturer: Okay, what happen is that there's a guy... who liked a girl very much. And this girl, is in this class. *stirrings from audience*

Lecturer: Okay, but she doesn't know about it. *laughs from audience and chuckles from lecturer* So it can be any, any one of you alright. Okay, don't, don't be too worried. The guy is not me. *riotous laughter from audience*

Lecturer: Okay, this guy is quite shy, so he want me to show this Powerpoint to the girl. *flashes Powerpoint slide* Where is ***? Maybe he's too shy to come out. Ah, okay anyway actually the guy is not that shy after all. He's going to, he's going to come out and present a prower (Ed: flower) to the girl. *cheers and claps from audience*

*guy gives flowers and audience claps*

Lecturer: Okay, you should go for your break. Leave them alone. *laughs from audience*

***

Someone: hey you know i never knew there were so many people in singapore who looked like the asian prince
i dont know alot of indians look like the asian prince complete with the mullet and moustache

Me: ooh where who

Someone: i dont know who the guy is ...but you can try looking in little india
chances are 1 in 3

Me: hahahhaha
got mullet meh

Someone: got!!


Someone: i have found the reason why ghosts cause electrical failure and cold spots. in order for any action/behaviour to take place, energy is required, ghosts dont eat, so they draw energy from surroundings. my guess is that they draw heat energy from the surroundings in order to manifest physically.

at the same time, for some strange reason, which i havent tot of yet, they are a changing magnetic field, and according to faraday ( i think) a changing magnetic field creates electrical current, which overloads the existing electric field causing a black out


Someone: she [my friend] told me that her students celebrate their 16th birthdays by shouting loudly "I'm LEGAL!" at their bday parties

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Ban the frilly skirts please!

"What is going on with fashion you guys? I keep seeing thirteen year old girls running around with their butts hanging out of their one inch frilly skirts. It's freaking me out! I'm at Target shopping the other day and I see two gorgeous bodies standing next to me practically half naked and I think to myself, "wow, I wonder if these girls are 'professionals' and suddenly they turn around and I instantly feel sick. They are barely thirteen…running around the store giggling and laughing about nothing and anything—they can't control their laughter—they're kids! I try to forget this experience, but a few days later Paul and I go to the mall and the frilly skirts and barely legal shorts are by the dozen! It makes me so furious that their parents are allowing them to leave the house dressed that way—and we wonder why there are so many perverts out there. Hollywood bimbo, Paris Hilton, is to blame and I hope this fad passes quickly before teen pregnancy sky rockets in the next few years. There are enough single mothers in this world. Bless their hearts that they try so hard to be everything for their kids to make up for their mistake, but it's just not enough! I object to teen nudity in public!"

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riolene: just wanted to put something down i realized recently on christianity, or religion as a whole. if you read 1984, doesn't goldstein's book ring up shades of God in it?

"At the apex of the pyramid comes Big Brother. Big Brother is infallible and all-powerful. Every success, every virtue, every victory, all knoweldge, all wisdom, are held to issue directly from his leadership and inspiration. Nobody has ever seen Big Brother. He is a face on the hoardings, a voice on the telescreen..."

now substitute God into Big Brother. :) so yeah. have faith in your own beliefs, and never let them be shaken. :)


666 ELS sequence found in Bible Code in text of King James New Testament.

"Guess whose name appears connected to SATAN if you use the newly discovered BIBLE CODE or ELS (Equidistant Letter Spacing) Code?

Using an ELS sequence of 666 to research the King James Version of the New Testament. A very famous historial figure appears directly connected to SATAN at the ELS sequence of 666.

The Torah was the first religious work analyzed to see if the ELS Code was valid. Remarkable discoveries of hidden ELS codes were indeed found in the Torah.

This is what you will find at an ELS sequence for SATAN in a King James Version of the New Testament.

Is this the HIDDEN NAME of the FALSE PROPHET who is SATAN?

As you can see Jesus Christ connects directly to the word SATAN in a ELS of the KJV of the NT at an ELS sequence of 666.

Is Jesus the deceiver? The False Prophet?

When questioned by the Rabbi's, are your works miracles from SATAN, he never denied they were. He never directly called himself GOD or even the Son of God in the NT. And the last thing he said was that he was THE MORNING STAR in Revelations 22:16

Look up Lucifer in a collegiate level dictionary. Does MORNING STAR appear as an AKA of Lucifer... Was he???"

I love these arcane mathematical formulae using which you can make the text say anything you like. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!


voctir was receiving Christian spam forwards, so I dug this up from my archive of links to send him:

An atheist on Judgment Day - "If it is a choice between oblivion and an eternity with a monster like you, I gladly choose oblivion"
A most touching and moving story. I wonder what I would do in a hypothetical scenario such as this. Incidentally, a good story to forward people who keep sending you Christian spam.
Addendum: Mirrored since the original site has gown down

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Compassionate conservatives? Uh, not exactly - "It's not that Terri Schiavo's champions don't mind killing the disabled. But these other deaths are kept on a different ledger, recorded as inconsequential losses, written off as the cost of doing business with a lean, mean healthcare budget. These are obscure, lonely deaths, mostly ignored by the media. Religious zealots don't pay much attention to euthanasia rendered by budget cuts. The slow, quiet, deadly creep of negligence lacks the drama to inflame the political leadership the way the plight of Terri Schiavo transformed them into Christian crusaders."

Aliens: why they are here - "Ever since the end of the Second World War, there have been sightings of objects flying across the sky in a way no human craft has been known to do, and in recent decades such experiences of extraterrestrial visitation have swelled into reports of alien abduction. Large numbers of seemingly unremarkable and well-balanced people claim to have been removed from the earth by aliens. It would seem that such a perplexing and large-scale phenomenon requires an explanation."

A Nontrivial Manifesto - "Flip through an average textbook or article, and you are likely to come across one of these insinuating taunts: "Obviously . . .," "After some simple algebra . . .," "An easy derivation shows . . .," "It should be clear that . . . ." A student reading the book for the first time may not find the derivation in question nearly so clear as the subtext: "If you don't understand this immediately, your ineptitude for physics must surely exceed that of a rutabaga." However, no word in the physicist's vocabulary exudes more contempt and scorn than the obnoxious "trivial." We use this word with reckless abandon: "The proof is trivial." "Trivial algebra yields . . ." "I assigned just a few trivial problems this week." No other word better exemplifies how the jargon of our trade can be so condescending. I will grant that unlike the other terms I have just indicted, "trivial" can have a technical mathematical meaning: the uninteresting solution to a differential, matrix, or other equation. However, most of the times we invoke this word, we have no such excuse, and even in those technical contexts we can come across as pompous."

StarWars.com has put up the Clone Wars series on its website, and finally people outside North America are being allowed to view it. Undoubtedly this is to stir up excitement for Revenge of the Sith. Though I still loathe the Samurai Jack style of animation, and indeed modern cartooning in general.