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Sunday, August 01, 2004

Quote of the Post: "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." - Unknown

Random Playlist Song: Edward Elgar - Unaccompanied part-songs op.26-1 - The Snow (University of Nebraska Women's Chorale)

***

The email I sent to elgar.org in mid-May asking about the lyrics of The Snow (since I only ever sang the desecrated Chinese translation) finally was replied to. Apparently it'd "resurfaced from under a pile of others".

The Snow

O snow, which sinks so light,
Brown earth is hid from sight,
O soul, be thou as white,
As white as snow

O snow, which falls so slow,
Dear earth quite warm below;
O heart, so keep thy glow,
Beneath the snow.

O snow, in thy soft grave
Sad flow’rs the winter brave;
O heart, so soothe and save,
as does the snow.

The snow must melt, must go,
Fast, fast as water flow.
Not thus, my soul, O sow
Thy gifts to fade like snow.

O snow, thou’rt white no more,
Thy spark’ling too, is o’er;
O soul, be as before,
Was bright the snow:

Then as the snow all pure,
O heart be, but endure;
Through all the years full sure,
Not as the snow.


                                  C. Alice Elgar

Actually the Chinese desecration translation we sung wasn't too bad. But just imagine, say, the Chinese national anthem sung in Swahili. Good though the translation might be, it still wouldn't be right.

***

It seems that I am not the only one faced with NUS sian-ness syndrome (one reason why entries have been scarce of late). Aine puts it best:

"Don't make me go back to school, please.
You know that feeling you get when you spend six to seven months basically doing nothing but playing and dabbling and wishing in a random way for something to do, and then you look up and realise that you do have something to do and it's starting soon but you don't really know if you want it to? I'm having that feeling now. Yeah."

It's worse if you've been relatively inactive intellectually for 32 months, and have been feeling anti-social recently. I suppose it'll get better after school starts.

***

Tosser:

"I dislike wearing clothes designed for females only because they tend to be uncomfortably tight... I appear to one of the last female acquaintances of my age group still hanging on to comfort as the foremost axiom of attire, the rest having long succumbed to peer and hormonal pressures."

What a rare and spunky soul.

Female fashion is such a hoot. The only thing I have to worry about is ties. Damn ties.

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"

***

Pseudo-personality test

I remember being given something almost exactly like this by Mr Hogan in Sec 1 during an Oral Communications class. The course was supposed to be conducted by a Denyse Tessensohn, whose book we were forced to buy, but we rarely saw her so it was left to the other teacher, Mr Hogan, to fill in most of the time, and he was much better and more entertaining than her. Of course, Melvin Tay screwed up the test by giving answers like: "I saw 2 Indian lesbians chasing each other around a coconut tree", so the test didn't bode very well for him.

I was actually going to spoof it, but the test was so silly (and the results to vaguely connected to your answers) that I decided that it was already a subtle spoof of itself and personality tests in general. So I present, in its stead, the Oreo Personality Test:

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.


Your Personality:

1. "The whole thing."
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. "One bite at a time."
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.

3. "Slow and Methodical."
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every-thing you do to the point of being anal-retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. "Feverous Nibbles."
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. "Dunked."
Every one likes you because you are always up-beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. "Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie."
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. "Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie."
You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care - you got yours.

8. "Just the cookie, not the inside."
You enjoy pain.

9. "I just like to lick them, not eat them."
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. "I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies."
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prim.

***

Turning the tables on Nigeria's e-mail conmen - "Our ministry was founded in 1774 by a wonderful lady by the name of Betsy Carrington... a test she had to remove the top part of her clothes and paint the top half of her body and breast with the red Masai war-paint as a gesture of faith and belief to them so that they would accept her and trust her. She was almost immediately accepted by them and was one of the most trusted westerners known at that time. As a qualification to enter the Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast, all followers must go through the initiation procedure"
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