Assorted jumbled thoughts on religion through the week:
Just why are we supposed to follow all the rules that this God has supposedly laid out? Do we have any obligation to do so in the first place? A common argument cited is that our compliance is a matter of free will, but then this isn't strictly true, because the price of disobedience is eternal torment, so it is not a choice made out of free will, but under duress. However, this does not address the issue of *why* this God wants us to do certain things. Does he want to control us, to order our lives? Is his instinct to control so strong that he condemns all those who refuse to be slaves to him to eternal torment? Children who disobey their parents may not get a new Playstation 2 (or X-box, if you prefer), but their parents certainly don't cut off their food supply or throw them onto the streets.
This God's divine plan is commonly cited, in an effort to stop us questioning his supposed benevolence. If children are eviscerated in gory accidents that He could have easily prevented, we are told that it is part of his divine plan. However, if all has been determined, why the need to pray? Since this God knows what is going to happen, and has a plan for what is to happen, who are we to pray for World Peace, when it will never come unless He wants it? Since He is assumed to be able to see into the future and into the past, he already knows what is going to happen and this cannot change - which raises more questions about the imprudent decisions made by this God which, with his foresight, he should have avoided, like why he created Man knowing that he'd damn himself, and why he tempted Adam and Eve by telling them about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil even though he knew they'd eat from it.
"Experiences" are an integral part of the religious experience, to show adherents the power of their God. However, why do these experiences seem to be available for so many religions? Does that mean that all of their Gods have power? Heck, even atheists or agnostics have weird dreams, or Out Of Body Experiences. People with brain damage are also known to have experienced strange and wonderful sensations. Do these experiences come from this God, then?
My essay is targeted at a general audience, those who have never questioned their faith (or lack thereof) much, not at those with degrees in theology or divinity. If you're well read, you might not find much new here, though I think I did come up with some small insights.
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proofs" - Carl Sagan. Why, then, do people drop the standards of proof for religion? Is it because they are misty eyed for the rewards of the afterlife, and drop any prudent objections that might be made? Why is the instinct to question suddenly muffled when the issue of religion comes up? Perhaps people do not *dare* to venture there, for it is where even Angels fear to tread. Maybe I should start my own cult, with me as the God. I can do as much (the power of hypnotherapy and demagoguery), and at least I don't require adherence to an outdated moral code.
If this God is there, and he is so good, why is that that more people do not recognise and see him? Why does he hide himself so much, and make himself out to be imperfect? Why is it that people find him imperfect? Surely, if he is the epitome of perfection, none of his flaws would be glimpsed, and his perfection and goodness would be as obvious as the sum of 1 and 1 being 2. On the contrary, an objective analysis of the evidence - without prior prejudices, preconceptions or assumptions, reveals that this God is, at best, indifferent to us, if he does exist. For every miracle, there is a tragedy, for every uplifting moment, a period of depression and despair and for every improbable fortuitous coincidence, an unbelievable spate of bad luck.
In the Bible, God is recorded to have shown his power freely, but it seems that in recent years he has become less powerful now. In 1 Kings 18:17-40, Elijah invoked him to set a pile of wet wood ablaze, to show that Baal was a false God. [NB: What happened to "free will" here, then, since he showed the priests of Baal his unmistakable power?]. Or how about the Fish and Loaves, which fed hundreds (though, strangely enough, none of these hundreds recorded this miracle independently)? What gives? Why is it that major, incontestable shows of his power are not visible nowadays? Many claim to have seen "signs" from him - but what makes them so sure that these "signs" were not natural occurences, or figments of their imagination? I can claim that this God gave me a sign that I was to massacre all the blondes in the world, but would this claim hold water? Perhaps if fiery words were written in the sky in front of millions, but what if the "sign" came in the form of a divine conviction that I found?
It seems that the more successful religions play on people's guilt, despair, hope and naivete (in suitable proportions, of course)
Some statistics show that there are 850 million agnostics/atheists - it is the fourth largest "religion" in the world (and that doesn't count statutory theists who are de facto agnostics/atheists). Perhaps it is this God's plan that so many do not know him, since many of these 850 million gave him a chance, but found nothing.
People say that God is Good, and we can see it from what he does. However, this begs the question of the definition of "good". Is God good because he does good things (which then subjects him to an external moral law, just as we all supposedly are subject to his), or are the things he does defined as good? But then if this God advocated murder, rape, arson, killing of hermaphrodites and 8 month old fetuses and the like, would we then say these things were good? [Note: Saying that he wouldn't define these things as good is *not* an acceptable counter. I could also say that he wouldn't define homosexuality to be bad.] And you wonder why I hate meta-physics.
The notion of sin and redemption is questionable. Why can't this God simply forgive everyone and not send them to eternal torment, if he is so good, vast and benevolent. The reparte is that he loved us so much that he sent his son as a "sacrifice", but then it seems he sacrificed a part of himself - to himself, for he is the one who determines, by setting the criteria, whether someone goes to heaven or to hell. The analogy is that someone takes away $10 from you, gives you $1 back, and tells you that you're supposed to be happy.
Why does God not send his missionaries to the heart of Africa, then? Does he want to condemn more people to hell?
There are many more troubling points of doctrine but I try not to address them here because I don't want to steal too much and want original (or at least independently arrived-at) content. Please visit some of the sites below for more pressing questions.
Atheists are often asked to prove that there is no God, and since it is hard to do so (and the proofs are contentious), theists claim that this God does exist. However, If I were to claim that malign silicon based lifeforms lay under the surface of Pluto, and that since no one could disprove me, I was correct, I would be laughed out of the room, since though my assertion would be impossible to prove, there would be no evidence backing me up. Similarly, the burden of proof should be on the theists, for the default state is that there is no God, so the prosecution has to prove its case instead of the defence; what theists currently do is akin to judging people guilty until proven innocent.
Interesting material on Catholics' conservatism regarding reproduction from http://www.uctaa.org/Essays/meditations/med015.html: "I do not personally accept this morality - particular with respect to women's reproductive issues. In fact, the Catholic Church's teachings on this matter only date back to 1869 and Pope Pius IX. Along with his declaration of papal infallibility, and his approval of the doctrine of immaculate conception, he declared that human life began at conception. In my view, absolutely wrong on all three issues.
In fact, if we go back 2000 years - it was believed at the time when Christ was supposed to have been born that life began a full week AFTER birth - at circumcision. And this was the traditional Jewish belief - and was the Christian belief for hundreds of years after. As evidence, I point to the calendar. Why - if it is based on the birth of Christ - is the birth date set at 25 December? Because the calendar is not based on the birth of Christ - it is based on the date of circumcision - exactly one week later which is 1 January. And to quote the Catholic Encyclopedia on the issue of the Feast of Circumcision "He was, as St. Paul says, 'made under the law'". Under the law as it was at that time that's when he was made - or became accepted as part of the human race."
Personally I think that abortion is bad and should be avoided as much as possible, but in many cases it is necessary to avoid greater sorrow. Abortion is not really murder per se unless the fetus is able to survive outside of the womb by itself, for until then it is a parasite, leeching off the mother. It is doubtful whether a fetus, especially in its early stages of development, is even sentient. Simply put, a potential person is not a person.
Countless anecdotes abound of how people have tried to search for this God, but somehow, he has ignored them. Could it be part of his divine plan, then? Perhaps - just like Ebola.
Some people argue against drugs because they create dependence. Doesn't religion create a dependence? Just like love?
Why is it acceptable, in many modern societies, to discriminate against peopel based on their sexual orientation? Race, language, gender, religion are mostly unacceptable bases, but somehow treating gays differently is alright. Hell, it's harder to change your sexual orientation than your religion.
Implications of Perfection submitted by Sphere
If God is perfect then God cannot change.
If God cannot change then God cannot interact with the rest of existence.
If God cannot interact with the rest of existence then there is no way we can ever interact with God.
If we cannot interact with God then we can never know anything about God.
If we can never know anything about God we can treat God as non-existent from our viewpoint.
http://www.uctaa.org/Essays/meditations/med035.html
"God fights on the side with the best artillery." - Napoleon Bonaparte. Is it any surprise that the world as we know it seems to function as it would even without a God?
I think that encouraging conservativism in sexual life is bad. A healthy physical relationship is part and parcel of any vibrant marriage, and straitjacketing yourself with outmoded practices is a recipe for disaster.
God is supposed to not be overt in his attempts to search for and touch us because he grants us free will. However, what about those looking for him (and not finding)? It is more like stumbling blindly in the dark. It's not that they don't want to find this God, but that they cannot find him.
I personally find the idea of the Greek and Roman Gods more appealing. For one, they had human flaws and were imperfect, thus reflecting the imperfection of our world and of life - much more believable, on the whole. Worship was on a strictly contractual basis - you sacrificed to Zeus and he struck your enemy with lightning. You could choose not to believe in them, and they would not blame you for it.
The intellectual dishonesty of many Christians is rather infuriating. They purport to want to debate, but then they define the parameters such that their flawed conclusions inevitably follow, and when I question the assumptions, they ignore me. Grr.
Miracles:
How about 'magic'? Here, I refer not to cheap parlour tricks, but to seemingly incedulous feats, like those performed by David Copperfield. Surely going through the Great Wall of China, making the Statue of Liberty disppear and flying could not be pulled off with mere sleight of hand? And I think no one in his right mind would accuse magicians of being aided by the Devil, so it must be illusion. If even something like "flying" is achievable, mere tongues pale in comparison.
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur C. Clarke
One argument for God's existence is that if he hadn't set the scientific constants of the Universe to the value that they are, and hadn't created the conditions on this earth for us to arise, we never would have existed, and so we know he exists. This reasonable sounding proposition actually has it the wrong way around. Consider what happens if there is no God and the scientific constants and conditions are wrong - life as we know it would not have evolved. The very fact that we are around to ponder the existence of God shows that, somehow, all the conditions were right for us to arise.
Alternatively, our existence could have been a matter of chance. Most people would say it is impossible for a fair coin flipped 100 times to come up heads each time, but this truly is possible according to the laws of probability. Just because something is improbable does not mean that it is impossible. Just consider how many planets there are in the Universe - 100 billion galaxies alone are visible to modern telescopes, and the true total is likely much higher. In each galaxy, there are hundreds of billions of stars. Even assuming a one in a million chance of a star system having a planet, and each star system having one and only one planet, one can calculate that there are at least 10,000,000,000,000,000 (Ten million, billion) planets in the universe. It would be sheer arrogance to proclaim that life could not have evolved on other planets - and our conception of "life" is of carbon-based, water consuming life. Who's to say that other forms of life - crystalline or sillicoid, say, could not have evolved? The same logic can apply for multiple or parallel Universes.
The Ten Commandments are commonly held to be a clear guideline for believers. However, this God himself seems to have compelled his faithful to break many of them.
The Church's opposition to birth control and abortion has serious implications. Its opposition to condoms and the Pill means that women have no control over their reproductive systems; the Rhythm Method is famous for its inaccuracy, and anyhow it violates the spirit of the prohibition of birth control. Worse, not allowing men to use condoms means that Sexually Transmitted Diseases infect and kill more people, especially in Third World countries. And on abortion - how about rape victims, or mothers who have AIDS and don't want their children to be born as one of the living dead, with parents who will soon die and be unable to care for them? Some statistics show, too, that the risk of a woman dying from an abortion is lower than that of her dying in childbirth. Something to think about, indeed. Lastly, the evidence against abortion in the Bible is tenuous as best, according to one insightful explanation: http://www.elroy.net/ehr/abortion.html
The Catholic Church expounds on how we should live our lives, but hasn't its moral high ground been eroded over the ages? Besides the atrocities it has committed in God's name, it has had many corrupt, debauched Popes, not to mention the current spate of child abuse by paedophilic priests and Pius XII's collaboration with the Nazis.
I suspect that, if there is a God, he'd be amused at what everyone is trying to do for him, each claiming that only their way is correct.
It seems most people who become disillusioned with religion come up with the same few points. Maybe it's because these points are valid, forceful and ring true :)
The danger with being obsessed with eradicating sin is that the person tries hard to look for sin everywhere. Thus, everything becomes a sin, and he is trapped in a vicious circle. The more he purges his perceived sin, the more obsessed he becomes and he tries to wring yet more 'sin' from his life.
Which sort of good God would allow children to be born spastic?
Someone: "how shall i put it - it's easy to be sceptical and to draw a lot of hedonistic, 21st-century materialist kids / adolescents into a diatribe of "religion of bullshit".
sitting down and trying to figure out an alternative and what it all means is a lot harder - and a lot more mature."
Me: "that's true - inasmuch as it is easier to just tear down religion
but just because something is hard doesn't mean it should be done
morality can come from humans, and not from God
I do recognise that that is a valid question
but the mechanics of fusion power are valid too! (and infinitely more useful)
you don't see me rushing to solve that problem. it's a lack of both aptitude and interest
here I lack mostly interest in the morality issue"
L'origine de Bert
Sunday, April 20, 2003
Hah! We actually made it.
Top 100 April Fool's Day Jokes Of All Time
#64: Y2K Solved
In 1999 the Singapore Straits Times reported that a 17-year-old high school student had one-upped all the major software corporations of the world by creating a small computer program that would easily solve the Y2K bug. The camera-shy C student had supposedly devised the program in twenty-nine minutes while solving an algebra problem for his homework. His family and a technology consulting group were reportedly forming a joint venture named 'Polo Flair' in order to commercialize the discovery. They anticipated achieving revenues of $50 million by the end of the year. Numerous journalists and computer specialists contacted the Straits Times, seeking more information about the boy genius and his Y2K cure. One journalist even wanted to know if the boy would be willing to appear on TV, despite the fact that he was camera shy. Unfortunately the boy and his ingenious program didn't exist. Quick-witted readers would have noticed that 'Polo Flair' was an anagram for 'April Fool.'
Top 100 April Fool's Day Jokes Of All Time
#64: Y2K Solved
In 1999 the Singapore Straits Times reported that a 17-year-old high school student had one-upped all the major software corporations of the world by creating a small computer program that would easily solve the Y2K bug. The camera-shy C student had supposedly devised the program in twenty-nine minutes while solving an algebra problem for his homework. His family and a technology consulting group were reportedly forming a joint venture named 'Polo Flair' in order to commercialize the discovery. They anticipated achieving revenues of $50 million by the end of the year. Numerous journalists and computer specialists contacted the Straits Times, seeking more information about the boy genius and his Y2K cure. One journalist even wanted to know if the boy would be willing to appear on TV, despite the fact that he was camera shy. Unfortunately the boy and his ingenious program didn't exist. Quick-witted readers would have noticed that 'Polo Flair' was an anagram for 'April Fool.'
Post ID: 92891859
Saturday, April 19, 2003
After a long hiatus, I present these referrals without (much) comment:
zhuang yisa - He seems popular
flat mental nude lolita photos - ???
schoolgirl pinafore boys fetish
children's disgusting song lyrics
"chinese high" secondary 4 boy died - He did?
harmful effects of instant noodles - Supposedly they make your hair drop
"the worst school uniform" - River Valley, no doubt!
donation for a place in acjc - Well.
fruit feces week "hong kong" delicacy - !!!
japanese hentai game review invisible rape sister
+hentai +"turn based" +college +sex +download - They've some strange games out there
my name is kairen and i like britney spears - He says he does. Argh.
hot girls personal homepage (main site)
rgs raffles bondage
free hamtaro porn pics - Bestiality?! Argh.
rgs ankle socks
geraldine blogspot rjc - She's popular eh.
mt sinai sluts - Surely not Henry Park. So it must be RJ again!
alma mater chio rgs
ball point pen art by malay Singapore
zhuang yisa - He seems popular
flat mental nude lolita photos - ???
schoolgirl pinafore boys fetish
children's disgusting song lyrics
"chinese high" secondary 4 boy died - He did?
harmful effects of instant noodles - Supposedly they make your hair drop
"the worst school uniform" - River Valley, no doubt!
donation for a place in acjc - Well.
fruit feces week "hong kong" delicacy - !!!
japanese hentai game review invisible rape sister
+hentai +"turn based" +college +sex +download - They've some strange games out there
my name is kairen and i like britney spears - He says he does. Argh.
hot girls personal homepage (main site)
rgs raffles bondage
free hamtaro porn pics - Bestiality?! Argh.
rgs ankle socks
geraldine blogspot rjc - She's popular eh.
mt sinai sluts - Surely not Henry Park. So it must be RJ again!
alma mater chio rgs
ball point pen art by malay Singapore
Post ID: 92887458
Amid the millions of letters on SARS, some interesting ones on animal cruelty:
No cruelty in shark harvest
NOT all sharks are threatened with extinction. In fact, only two rare species are. Also, it is not true that cruel treatment is meted out when the fins are harvested.
At the 12th Meeting of the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (Cites) held in Santiago, Chile, from Nov 3-15 last year, it was stated that sharks, by and large, are not endangered with the exception of two - the whale shark (Rhincodin typus) and basking shark (Cetorhinus maximus) - included in Citses Appendix II which came into effect on Feb 13 in Singapore.
As far as our association is aware, these two species of sharks are hardly traded in Singapore. So there is no justification to raise a hue and cry about eating sharks' fin in Singapore. Sharks are often hauled in by a tuna/sword-fish fishing fleet and the normal method used by fishermen is to electrocute them with an electric rod if they are still alive before harvesting the fins and cleaning the stomach, then freezing them.
The major portion of meat is a valuable commercial product. It is stored in a huge refrigerator and is never discarded or thrown into the sea as alleged.
DANNY YIO
President
Singapore Marine and Land Products Association
Chickens suffer more than foie gras ducks
I HAVE followed with interest, but also a certain feeling of unfairness, recent letters to the Forum about foie gras (duck liver).
Ducks raised to produce duck liver (and magret, and leg confit) are over-fed (not by pump, air guns) for the last 12 days of their lives.
It is pure fantasy to describe their lives as an ordeal. Those poultry live in small farms, outside, and are treated in the best manner possible. Stress and mistreatment ruin the finished product.
The last few days of their lives are, however, not the most comfortable.
Pinpointing those ducks is extremely unfair. Comparing them to endangered species is dishonest. Naming the countries that are banning them is laughable: in those countries, millions of people eat in fast-food outlets every day.
Have you read anything about chickens, for example? They spend their 40-day short lives in a cage, they cannot move, their bones often break from sickness and weakness, they are fed with flour made of bones and unusable parts of chickens (it is called cannibalism), lowest-cost supplements and antibiotics, their beaks are cut so they do not harm themselves (tells you a lot about the mental health of the birds).
A scientist is currently proposing a genetically modified featherless chicken, easier to process. A lot more misery can be described.
We can agree that thousands of ducks have a rough time at the end of their lives. But before hitting on that industry, perhaps we should bring some attention to the billions of chickens whose short stay on earth is a constant torture.
PHILIPPE VO
Director
Classic Fine Foods Pte Ltd Singapore
All very reasonable sounding, but written by people with vested interests. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, though.
In contrast, this one pissed me off. Maybe I will finally get down to writing in:
Seeing red over new censorship proposals
I STRONGLY object to the new censorship rules proposed by the Censorship Review Committee.
Firstly, by allowing some previously banned materials or shows in, we are compromising our moral standards. This has serious implications for the values younger Singaporeans (including myself) will grow up with.
I respect the panel of academics, journalists, professionals and artists who are taking the trouble to review the censorship rules and proposing changes they see as liberating for a society like Singapore.
However, I would like to challenge the way such decisions were made. Were community groups consulted? How did the panel arrive at its proposed changes?
A society is shaped by popular culture. What kind of values are we suggesting to our young people if we allow racier shows like Sex In The City to air on television? It may have won an Emmy but the values that come across at the end of each episode are less than desireable.
I also want to question how the Censorship Review Committee is going to deal with shows that explicitly exploit images of women. I believe many shows that were censored are shows dealing with female nudity or themes relating to female sexuality.
How are we to ensure that Singaporean women's image will not be compromised by Western definitions?
Singaporean women have already been caught in so many debates regarding their sexuality. We do not need popular media to blatantly play out on a greater scale what men want to see in their fantasies.
[Name removed at the writer's request on 26/02/04]
The last mail pissed me off so much, I sent in a reply.
My sister says it's too ideological, and that I've to be more dispassionate. Everyone else says it's good, though I'm sure The Associate would have much to say!
Let's see if it's rejected, or how horribly mutilated it is if it's accepted :0
[Ed: This is the text of the letter I sent in:
'I refer to the letter "Seeing red over new censorship proposals", published in the Forum on Saturday, April 19th.
*** appears to be distressed over the proposed relaxing of censorship rules, and I am certain many Singaporeans are lamenting our declining moral standards.
However, just who defines these nebulous moral standards? Beyond certain broadly defined universal constants, like "Thou shalt not kill", "Thou shalt not lie" and the like, it is hard to find morals which all societies uphold. What is one man's meat is another man's poison - the Amish and the Taliban, for example, thought the naked ankles of women to be as immoral as most of us think the naked bosoms are. Morals change with time, too - just as most people today think both polygyny and polyandry 'immoral' and unjustified, our great grandparents would have viewed the increasingly risque beer posters with more than mild displeasure. Besides, it seems that the moral standards in Singapore, at least as far as movies are concerned, are that the mere flash of a nipple is deemed unsavoury, but it is perfectly fine for strapping males to gun down everyone in a room.
She also wonders what will happen to the young, who are vulnerable to influences. Regulators in more liberal countries have also pondered this, which is why attempts are made to restrict the young and impressionable from being influenced. For example, more explicit television shows are only permitted to be screened on television at late hours, when parents will likely be at home, parental locks are built into most televisions, and the viewing of pornography is restricted to those above 18. In any case, Singaporean youth are immsensely resourceful and curious, especially when it comes to the Internet. Does anyone have any illusions about what most young boys (and not a few young girls) laugh or giggle about during their whispered conversations? It is said that Forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter, especially to impetuous youth, so by imposing a blanket ban on everything some of us consider "undesirable", we are actually increasing their appeal. At the end of the day, it is up to parents to teach their children about the birds and the bees, but sadly most do not, leading them to seek out alternative sources and be "corrupted" (if you like).
Lastly, she is concerned about the image of women. However, the very show she reviles, Sex and the City, is about female empowerment. These women do not depend on men like Ally McBeal, but are financially and emotionally independent. Whatever men can do, they can do better.
Censorship in Singapore is justified by claiming that it reflects the views of a majority of Singaporeans. What if a majority of Singaporeans got it into their heads that bandanas should be banned as they are unsanitary? Would Singapore then outlaw it? I think not, for why should the majority be allowed to impinge on the freedom of a minority when the minority is not causing any trouble for others?
John Stuart Mill famously pronounced that, "Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign". The idea of censorship - of stopping mature adults from being exposed to new ideas because it's "not good for them" or society "disapproves", smacks of unreasoned, unjustified repression, and shows that the Powers That Be do not trust their own citizens, and condescend to blindfold them. Censors can not and should not be babysitters for mature adults. Besides, there is the problem of enforcement - does anybody doubt the availability of obscene VCDs in Singapore today? For a sobering lesson on the unfeasibility of puritanism, just look at the disaster that was Prohibition in the 1920s.
Simply, if you're offended by something, you can choose not to view it. Just as nobody is forcing you to watch the latest R(A) movie, nobody will be forcing you to watch 'Sex and the City' if you do not want to. If we can restrict the consumption of currently censored material to adults above 18 and keep its advertising subtle, as with R(A) movies presently, there is simply no reason why mature adults should be restricted from watching what they want. Ultimately, we cannot and should not try to impose our subjective "moral standards" on other people, for as the Golden Rule says - "Do not do unto others what you would not have others do unto you". Sadly, I do not think that Singaporeans are mature enough to accept greater freedom, so we will continue to have to let the vocal minority dictate what we should be able to watch. Nevertheless, I applaud the newly proposed guidelines on censorship, as they are a step forward in the right direction for a maturing nation.'
Added 26/02/04]
No cruelty in shark harvest
NOT all sharks are threatened with extinction. In fact, only two rare species are. Also, it is not true that cruel treatment is meted out when the fins are harvested.
At the 12th Meeting of the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (Cites) held in Santiago, Chile, from Nov 3-15 last year, it was stated that sharks, by and large, are not endangered with the exception of two - the whale shark (Rhincodin typus) and basking shark (Cetorhinus maximus) - included in Citses Appendix II which came into effect on Feb 13 in Singapore.
As far as our association is aware, these two species of sharks are hardly traded in Singapore. So there is no justification to raise a hue and cry about eating sharks' fin in Singapore. Sharks are often hauled in by a tuna/sword-fish fishing fleet and the normal method used by fishermen is to electrocute them with an electric rod if they are still alive before harvesting the fins and cleaning the stomach, then freezing them.
The major portion of meat is a valuable commercial product. It is stored in a huge refrigerator and is never discarded or thrown into the sea as alleged.
DANNY YIO
President
Singapore Marine and Land Products Association
Chickens suffer more than foie gras ducks
I HAVE followed with interest, but also a certain feeling of unfairness, recent letters to the Forum about foie gras (duck liver).
Ducks raised to produce duck liver (and magret, and leg confit) are over-fed (not by pump, air guns) for the last 12 days of their lives.
It is pure fantasy to describe their lives as an ordeal. Those poultry live in small farms, outside, and are treated in the best manner possible. Stress and mistreatment ruin the finished product.
The last few days of their lives are, however, not the most comfortable.
Pinpointing those ducks is extremely unfair. Comparing them to endangered species is dishonest. Naming the countries that are banning them is laughable: in those countries, millions of people eat in fast-food outlets every day.
Have you read anything about chickens, for example? They spend their 40-day short lives in a cage, they cannot move, their bones often break from sickness and weakness, they are fed with flour made of bones and unusable parts of chickens (it is called cannibalism), lowest-cost supplements and antibiotics, their beaks are cut so they do not harm themselves (tells you a lot about the mental health of the birds).
A scientist is currently proposing a genetically modified featherless chicken, easier to process. A lot more misery can be described.
We can agree that thousands of ducks have a rough time at the end of their lives. But before hitting on that industry, perhaps we should bring some attention to the billions of chickens whose short stay on earth is a constant torture.
PHILIPPE VO
Director
Classic Fine Foods Pte Ltd Singapore
All very reasonable sounding, but written by people with vested interests. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, though.
In contrast, this one pissed me off. Maybe I will finally get down to writing in:
Seeing red over new censorship proposals
I STRONGLY object to the new censorship rules proposed by the Censorship Review Committee.
Firstly, by allowing some previously banned materials or shows in, we are compromising our moral standards. This has serious implications for the values younger Singaporeans (including myself) will grow up with.
I respect the panel of academics, journalists, professionals and artists who are taking the trouble to review the censorship rules and proposing changes they see as liberating for a society like Singapore.
However, I would like to challenge the way such decisions were made. Were community groups consulted? How did the panel arrive at its proposed changes?
A society is shaped by popular culture. What kind of values are we suggesting to our young people if we allow racier shows like Sex In The City to air on television? It may have won an Emmy but the values that come across at the end of each episode are less than desireable.
I also want to question how the Censorship Review Committee is going to deal with shows that explicitly exploit images of women. I believe many shows that were censored are shows dealing with female nudity or themes relating to female sexuality.
How are we to ensure that Singaporean women's image will not be compromised by Western definitions?
Singaporean women have already been caught in so many debates regarding their sexuality. We do not need popular media to blatantly play out on a greater scale what men want to see in their fantasies.
[Name removed at the writer's request on 26/02/04]
The last mail pissed me off so much, I sent in a reply.
My sister says it's too ideological, and that I've to be more dispassionate. Everyone else says it's good, though I'm sure The Associate would have much to say!
Let's see if it's rejected, or how horribly mutilated it is if it's accepted :0
[Ed: This is the text of the letter I sent in:
'I refer to the letter "Seeing red over new censorship proposals", published in the Forum on Saturday, April 19th.
*** appears to be distressed over the proposed relaxing of censorship rules, and I am certain many Singaporeans are lamenting our declining moral standards.
However, just who defines these nebulous moral standards? Beyond certain broadly defined universal constants, like "Thou shalt not kill", "Thou shalt not lie" and the like, it is hard to find morals which all societies uphold. What is one man's meat is another man's poison - the Amish and the Taliban, for example, thought the naked ankles of women to be as immoral as most of us think the naked bosoms are. Morals change with time, too - just as most people today think both polygyny and polyandry 'immoral' and unjustified, our great grandparents would have viewed the increasingly risque beer posters with more than mild displeasure. Besides, it seems that the moral standards in Singapore, at least as far as movies are concerned, are that the mere flash of a nipple is deemed unsavoury, but it is perfectly fine for strapping males to gun down everyone in a room.
She also wonders what will happen to the young, who are vulnerable to influences. Regulators in more liberal countries have also pondered this, which is why attempts are made to restrict the young and impressionable from being influenced. For example, more explicit television shows are only permitted to be screened on television at late hours, when parents will likely be at home, parental locks are built into most televisions, and the viewing of pornography is restricted to those above 18. In any case, Singaporean youth are immsensely resourceful and curious, especially when it comes to the Internet. Does anyone have any illusions about what most young boys (and not a few young girls) laugh or giggle about during their whispered conversations? It is said that Forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter, especially to impetuous youth, so by imposing a blanket ban on everything some of us consider "undesirable", we are actually increasing their appeal. At the end of the day, it is up to parents to teach their children about the birds and the bees, but sadly most do not, leading them to seek out alternative sources and be "corrupted" (if you like).
Lastly, she is concerned about the image of women. However, the very show she reviles, Sex and the City, is about female empowerment. These women do not depend on men like Ally McBeal, but are financially and emotionally independent. Whatever men can do, they can do better.
Censorship in Singapore is justified by claiming that it reflects the views of a majority of Singaporeans. What if a majority of Singaporeans got it into their heads that bandanas should be banned as they are unsanitary? Would Singapore then outlaw it? I think not, for why should the majority be allowed to impinge on the freedom of a minority when the minority is not causing any trouble for others?
John Stuart Mill famously pronounced that, "Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign". The idea of censorship - of stopping mature adults from being exposed to new ideas because it's "not good for them" or society "disapproves", smacks of unreasoned, unjustified repression, and shows that the Powers That Be do not trust their own citizens, and condescend to blindfold them. Censors can not and should not be babysitters for mature adults. Besides, there is the problem of enforcement - does anybody doubt the availability of obscene VCDs in Singapore today? For a sobering lesson on the unfeasibility of puritanism, just look at the disaster that was Prohibition in the 1920s.
Simply, if you're offended by something, you can choose not to view it. Just as nobody is forcing you to watch the latest R(A) movie, nobody will be forcing you to watch 'Sex and the City' if you do not want to. If we can restrict the consumption of currently censored material to adults above 18 and keep its advertising subtle, as with R(A) movies presently, there is simply no reason why mature adults should be restricted from watching what they want. Ultimately, we cannot and should not try to impose our subjective "moral standards" on other people, for as the Golden Rule says - "Do not do unto others what you would not have others do unto you". Sadly, I do not think that Singaporeans are mature enough to accept greater freedom, so we will continue to have to let the vocal minority dictate what we should be able to watch. Nevertheless, I applaud the newly proposed guidelines on censorship, as they are a step forward in the right direction for a maturing nation.'
Added 26/02/04]
Post ID: 92883333
So the time to change my blogskin has come.
Most skins on Blogskins.com suck. They're either too gaudy (maystar's skins), too garish, too similar looking, too bloated, or all of the above.
I like simplicity in itself, and so it has become the new skin :)
Most skins on Blogskins.com suck. They're either too gaudy (maystar's skins), too garish, too similar looking, too bloated, or all of the above.
I like simplicity in itself, and so it has become the new skin :)
Post ID: 92881187
One night, we were in the bunk when Mark came from next door and flicked a large grasshopper into our bunk with a piece of newspaper. I was inclined to kill it, but the rest (with the strange affection for animals that takes most males when they aren't torturing them) were disinclined, so Jason whisked it out of the door. I then took a broom and swept it - under the door of Mark's bunk - and scurried back to our bunk giggling. A while later, Mark came back with the grasshopper on the piece of newspaper, but we shouted at him not to do anything. He then went to the drivers' bunk and flicked it into there, then ran back to his bunk. I was going to go help them remove the grasshopper from their bunk, but the lights were off. The next day, we saw the giant grasshopper perched on the ceiling outside the drivers' bunk.
I've decided that those people who call me "Jiabao" will get one of a variety of unsavoury names, like "George", "Cesspit" and the like. Time to put this plan into action!
Since our bedsheets and pillowcases are being counted, we've brought in our own. It feels more like home now :)
I've printed out and scanned in some of the products of people's boredom when they are in the Treatment Room. Like that of Ah Beng carrying the stereo (someone pointed out that no one carries stereos around, and someone else said mats do that because it is cheaper and it looks "cool". Heh. I think they carry them so they can put then on the floor and breakdance!) And that of me (which looks horrible). Enjoy :) People's skills at Paintbrush (Windows 3.1 version) steadily increase with practice, and we daily discover things we never knew Paintbrush could do. A pity almost no one recognised the significance of the Zerowing dialogue, though.
I finally got down to writing "Sucks Bigtime" under the word "Army" printed in bold on one of my Army singlets. Yeh.
In one room, I found "Osama" brand 5m power tape (meauring tape). Wth?!
Yong Siang thought that Asian Prince was the same as Amy Jo Johnson, since both of them feature on my cupboard. Gah!!!
Ban Xiong has an amazing appetite for Crystal Jade's Xiaolongbao. Even I would eat only two, but he ordered 2 baskets on tuesday, so we each had 4. They are nice, though, as is the la mian :)
Apparently sometimes Kiong goes home to sleep on his nights off. Wah.
Someone wrote in to the forum to suggest that, during the SARS epidemic, SAF servicemen get stayout. Fine idea!
To save money, manpower and time, we now get food on weekends from the Muslim cookhouse. Dammit, I hate Malay food!
People love to keep the television on in the bunk, even when no one is watching it, a fact I discovered when I turned it off one night, to howls of protest. Apparently they have been weaned on a diet of background noise, and are unable to enjoy the Sound of Silence.
We had our first company run where we had to sing - ugh. Well, I was covering, but still, the noise brought back bad memories.
There was this colourful newsletter with absolutely no sensitive material in it at all pinned on a noticeboard, but it was rated "restricted". Wth.
Our 42SAR canteen's food stall - "All Ranks Canteen", has closed. I got a tip off from the mua chee man at 46SAR one day, and he said that they'd closed as they couldn'tp ay the rent. Later, I asked the people drinks stall, and they said that the people at the food stall had said they were going to "rest", and that they weren't allowed to sell any food. A few days later, while having a haircut, I asked the barber, who was quite close to the people at the food stall, and he corroborated what the mua chee man said. They indeed couldn't make any money. Feeling a little sorry for him (he had helped the food stall wash dishes for food, apparently), I gave him $2 this time (and besides, he did put in some effort this time round). The people at "All Ranks Canteen" might not have cooked very good food, but it *was* an additional place to go to, especially if, as it did once, the cookhouse cooked laksa (and only laksa) for dinner, and they were quite nice too, letting people buy food on credit. The auntie never did manage to con me into buying 3 chicken wings for $2 at 4pm, though, despire numerous efforts.
I saw a perfect birthday present for Wang. He's going to get it next week. Heh heh heh.
Things you learn: Beethoven's Ode to Joy is the European Union's official anthem.
The 'House of Humour' in Jurong Point has no humourous stuff, only screwed up stuff. What a misleading name!
I saw Lu Rui En [Ed: For the uninitiated, she is the ex-RJ student 1 year my senior who featured in the Singtel pod ad who meets a guy in a club and gives him her number, and has now forayed into Chinese pop] in 'Life!' one day and the thought struck me: Definitely A03! Kai says I'm right :)
I find it very interesting how well the mythologies and philosophies of Taoism (and attendent Chinese religions) and Buddhism blend. In Chinese myth and folklore, you can find the Jade Emperor and the Buddha co-existing cheek by jowl, and this is accepted without dissent by adherents of traditional Chinese religions.
Quotes:
screening roaster (roster)
[Forum letter on SARS and the Iraq war] During breaks, I turn on the television to relax for a while, only to find even more depressing and stressful news.
[On the TV show Duke of Mount Deer 2000 aka Lu4 Ding3 Ji4] All the girls will become his wives... [Someone: All the girls acting for more than 5 minutes will become his wives]
[On the phone while on weekend duty] Hello. Duty clerk here. How's your dinner? Na beh.
[To someone else] Wah your lan jiao [is] very smelly
[On someone] He's really not a bad person, except that he's bald
[On Hot Socks] Come to think of it, I've never seen any JC girls wear normal socks
I've decided that those people who call me "Jiabao" will get one of a variety of unsavoury names, like "George", "Cesspit" and the like. Time to put this plan into action!
Since our bedsheets and pillowcases are being counted, we've brought in our own. It feels more like home now :)
I've printed out and scanned in some of the products of people's boredom when they are in the Treatment Room. Like that of Ah Beng carrying the stereo (someone pointed out that no one carries stereos around, and someone else said mats do that because it is cheaper and it looks "cool". Heh. I think they carry them so they can put then on the floor and breakdance!) And that of me (which looks horrible). Enjoy :) People's skills at Paintbrush (Windows 3.1 version) steadily increase with practice, and we daily discover things we never knew Paintbrush could do. A pity almost no one recognised the significance of the Zerowing dialogue, though.
I finally got down to writing "Sucks Bigtime" under the word "Army" printed in bold on one of my Army singlets. Yeh.
In one room, I found "Osama" brand 5m power tape (meauring tape). Wth?!
Yong Siang thought that Asian Prince was the same as Amy Jo Johnson, since both of them feature on my cupboard. Gah!!!
Ban Xiong has an amazing appetite for Crystal Jade's Xiaolongbao. Even I would eat only two, but he ordered 2 baskets on tuesday, so we each had 4. They are nice, though, as is the la mian :)
Apparently sometimes Kiong goes home to sleep on his nights off. Wah.
Someone wrote in to the forum to suggest that, during the SARS epidemic, SAF servicemen get stayout. Fine idea!
To save money, manpower and time, we now get food on weekends from the Muslim cookhouse. Dammit, I hate Malay food!
People love to keep the television on in the bunk, even when no one is watching it, a fact I discovered when I turned it off one night, to howls of protest. Apparently they have been weaned on a diet of background noise, and are unable to enjoy the Sound of Silence.
We had our first company run where we had to sing - ugh. Well, I was covering, but still, the noise brought back bad memories.
There was this colourful newsletter with absolutely no sensitive material in it at all pinned on a noticeboard, but it was rated "restricted". Wth.
Our 42SAR canteen's food stall - "All Ranks Canteen", has closed. I got a tip off from the mua chee man at 46SAR one day, and he said that they'd closed as they couldn'tp ay the rent. Later, I asked the people drinks stall, and they said that the people at the food stall had said they were going to "rest", and that they weren't allowed to sell any food. A few days later, while having a haircut, I asked the barber, who was quite close to the people at the food stall, and he corroborated what the mua chee man said. They indeed couldn't make any money. Feeling a little sorry for him (he had helped the food stall wash dishes for food, apparently), I gave him $2 this time (and besides, he did put in some effort this time round). The people at "All Ranks Canteen" might not have cooked very good food, but it *was* an additional place to go to, especially if, as it did once, the cookhouse cooked laksa (and only laksa) for dinner, and they were quite nice too, letting people buy food on credit. The auntie never did manage to con me into buying 3 chicken wings for $2 at 4pm, though, despire numerous efforts.
I saw a perfect birthday present for Wang. He's going to get it next week. Heh heh heh.
Things you learn: Beethoven's Ode to Joy is the European Union's official anthem.
The 'House of Humour' in Jurong Point has no humourous stuff, only screwed up stuff. What a misleading name!
I saw Lu Rui En [Ed: For the uninitiated, she is the ex-RJ student 1 year my senior who featured in the Singtel pod ad who meets a guy in a club and gives him her number, and has now forayed into Chinese pop] in 'Life!' one day and the thought struck me: Definitely A03! Kai says I'm right :)
I find it very interesting how well the mythologies and philosophies of Taoism (and attendent Chinese religions) and Buddhism blend. In Chinese myth and folklore, you can find the Jade Emperor and the Buddha co-existing cheek by jowl, and this is accepted without dissent by adherents of traditional Chinese religions.
Quotes:
screening roaster (roster)
[Forum letter on SARS and the Iraq war] During breaks, I turn on the television to relax for a while, only to find even more depressing and stressful news.
[On the TV show Duke of Mount Deer 2000 aka Lu4 Ding3 Ji4] All the girls will become his wives... [Someone: All the girls acting for more than 5 minutes will become his wives]
[On the phone while on weekend duty] Hello. Duty clerk here. How's your dinner? Na beh.
[To someone else] Wah your lan jiao [is] very smelly
[On someone] He's really not a bad person, except that he's bald
[On Hot Socks] Come to think of it, I've never seen any JC girls wear normal socks
Post ID: 92879674
Everyone tells me that the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) and the Community Chest are filthy rich.
I don't know about the latter, but the former displays its wealth ostentatiously - apparently its premises are lavishly decorated, the temps are paid generously, and you can just see all the publicity they manage to drum up - even producing television shows. One wonders why so much cash and publicity is thrown at the NKF. In 2000, 81.1% of all deaths in Singapore were caused by (in descending order) Cancer, Ischaemic & Other Heart Diseases, Pneumonia, Cerebrovascular Disease (Stroke) and Injuries. (Source: http://www.moh.gov.sg/hfacts/hfacts-gen-pcd.html). As far as I know, kidney failure contributes little or nothing towards the progression of these diseases. I smell a massive misallocation of resources. Where does all the NKF money go to besides organising charity shows with expensive prizes (the top prize this time is $188,000 according to a leaflet I got)? And it's not like they don't have sponsors. I'm told that dialysis is expensive, so I did some research.
http://asp.grameen.com/kidneybangla/Dialysis.htm
Haemodialysis/Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis (CAPD)
The cost of haemodialysis is very high. Patient is dependent on machine for their life. The cost of dialysis per patient per year is approximately Tk. (Taka) 2,50,000.00/- (7,640.42 SGD). CAPD costs about as much.
COST OF IPD
INTERMITTENT PERITONEAL DIALYSIS (IPD)
The cost of single IPD is approximately TK. (Taka) 7500.00/- only (Ed: 229.213 SGD Singapore Dollars) . In IPGMR this form of treatment is being offered free of cost.
http://www.sangstat.com/resource/solid_cost.asp
The cost of dialysis is US$45,000 to US$50,000 per year.
http://www.acponline.org/journals/annals/01aug97/aggressv.htm
For survivors who remained dialysis-dependent, we estimated outpatient costs of long-term dialysis as follows. In a comprehensive cost analysis comparing the costs of dialysis with the costs of transplantation, we estimated the total annual cost of dialysis to be $32 800 in 1989 dollars ($46 322 in 1994 dollars) (17). Because 41% of those costs were for inpatient care, we subtracted 41% from this figure to avoid double counting inpatient hospital costs. Therefore, we assumed that the annual outpatient cost would be $27 330 for survivors who required long-term dialysis.
I've no idea how much NKF charges its patients, and how much their costs are, as this information is suspiciously missing from its website, but you can access its balance sheet here: http://www.nkfs.org/finance/index.html. I wonder if anyone did a rigorous cost-benefit analysis of how this money is spent.
Counter points raised by others:
1. Maybe a reason not that many people die of kidney failure is that the NKF's efforts work.
2. Just because not that many people die from kidney failure doesn't mean that NKF is wastin money. Say there are 100 people with kidney failure and 1000 people with potential strokes: The money could just as well be channelled to helping the 100 people with kidney failure or 100 people out of the 1000 who have potential strokes
3. Just because you dun don't die from it doesn't mean it's not worth helping. [Ed: Yes, but shouldn't saving lives be a higher priority?]
4. Maybe the fact that money goes to NKF is because death from kidney failure is actually preventable. While most people who get strokes/heart attacks just fall down and die without warning
Only 57% of people polled recently disapproved of the selling of Playboy in Singapore. I'm pleasantly surprised, if still a little disappointed at Singaporeans' conservatism and prudishness. They're still not willing to trust each other as responsible adults, and get a perverse sense of satisfaction by imposing their odd moral notions on others.
The logic we have seems to be that if a majority of society disapproves of something, it should not be allowed. So hypothetically, if 57% of Singaporeans thought Islam should be banned, would it? Surely not. More likely, the ministers would flock to lament the lack of religious tolerance.
Strange that few lament the lack of emotional and social maturity.
The qigong guy (I assume it's the same as the previous one since the ad is similar) is advertising again! He's inviting people to hit his body parts at 3pm on Sunday, 3rd April at Geylang and he will use his "qi" to repel them and protect himself.
"Nam Wah Pai Qigong Demo"
"Have you ever seen a person attacked not move and yet his attacker is thrown off some distance away? (macrocosmic Energy Movement)"
"See the Master using his "Qi" energy to repel 8 strong men charging at him"
Wah. Sounds funky. I also want to learn how to harness cosmic energy.
I wonder why the TV show Duke of Mount Deer 2000 aka Lu4 Ding3 Ji4, currently showing on Channel U, is so popular. Maybe it's because all males want to have 7 wives :) A selection of pictures follows:
Group photo in the palace (ignore the nun)
All sitting on a wooden jetty dressed as tribeswomen
Mugshots
The one they killed off because Shu Qi was too expensive
I don't know about the latter, but the former displays its wealth ostentatiously - apparently its premises are lavishly decorated, the temps are paid generously, and you can just see all the publicity they manage to drum up - even producing television shows. One wonders why so much cash and publicity is thrown at the NKF. In 2000, 81.1% of all deaths in Singapore were caused by (in descending order) Cancer, Ischaemic & Other Heart Diseases, Pneumonia, Cerebrovascular Disease (Stroke) and Injuries. (Source: http://www.moh.gov.sg/hfacts/hfacts-gen-pcd.html). As far as I know, kidney failure contributes little or nothing towards the progression of these diseases. I smell a massive misallocation of resources. Where does all the NKF money go to besides organising charity shows with expensive prizes (the top prize this time is $188,000 according to a leaflet I got)? And it's not like they don't have sponsors. I'm told that dialysis is expensive, so I did some research.
http://asp.grameen.com/kidneybangla/Dialysis.htm
Haemodialysis/Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis (CAPD)
The cost of haemodialysis is very high. Patient is dependent on machine for their life. The cost of dialysis per patient per year is approximately Tk. (Taka) 2,50,000.00/- (7,640.42 SGD). CAPD costs about as much.
COST OF IPD
INTERMITTENT PERITONEAL DIALYSIS (IPD)
The cost of single IPD is approximately TK. (Taka) 7500.00/- only (Ed: 229.213 SGD Singapore Dollars) . In IPGMR this form of treatment is being offered free of cost.
http://www.sangstat.com/resource/solid_cost.asp
The cost of dialysis is US$45,000 to US$50,000 per year.
http://www.acponline.org/journals/annals/01aug97/aggressv.htm
For survivors who remained dialysis-dependent, we estimated outpatient costs of long-term dialysis as follows. In a comprehensive cost analysis comparing the costs of dialysis with the costs of transplantation, we estimated the total annual cost of dialysis to be $32 800 in 1989 dollars ($46 322 in 1994 dollars) (17). Because 41% of those costs were for inpatient care, we subtracted 41% from this figure to avoid double counting inpatient hospital costs. Therefore, we assumed that the annual outpatient cost would be $27 330 for survivors who required long-term dialysis.
I've no idea how much NKF charges its patients, and how much their costs are, as this information is suspiciously missing from its website, but you can access its balance sheet here: http://www.nkfs.org/finance/index.html. I wonder if anyone did a rigorous cost-benefit analysis of how this money is spent.
Counter points raised by others:
1. Maybe a reason not that many people die of kidney failure is that the NKF's efforts work.
2. Just because not that many people die from kidney failure doesn't mean that NKF is wastin money. Say there are 100 people with kidney failure and 1000 people with potential strokes: The money could just as well be channelled to helping the 100 people with kidney failure or 100 people out of the 1000 who have potential strokes
3. Just because you dun don't die from it doesn't mean it's not worth helping. [Ed: Yes, but shouldn't saving lives be a higher priority?]
4. Maybe the fact that money goes to NKF is because death from kidney failure is actually preventable. While most people who get strokes/heart attacks just fall down and die without warning
Only 57% of people polled recently disapproved of the selling of Playboy in Singapore. I'm pleasantly surprised, if still a little disappointed at Singaporeans' conservatism and prudishness. They're still not willing to trust each other as responsible adults, and get a perverse sense of satisfaction by imposing their odd moral notions on others.
The logic we have seems to be that if a majority of society disapproves of something, it should not be allowed. So hypothetically, if 57% of Singaporeans thought Islam should be banned, would it? Surely not. More likely, the ministers would flock to lament the lack of religious tolerance.
Strange that few lament the lack of emotional and social maturity.
The qigong guy (I assume it's the same as the previous one since the ad is similar) is advertising again! He's inviting people to hit his body parts at 3pm on Sunday, 3rd April at Geylang and he will use his "qi" to repel them and protect himself.
"Nam Wah Pai Qigong Demo"
"Have you ever seen a person attacked not move and yet his attacker is thrown off some distance away? (macrocosmic Energy Movement)"
"See the Master using his "Qi" energy to repel 8 strong men charging at him"
Wah. Sounds funky. I also want to learn how to harness cosmic energy.
I wonder why the TV show Duke of Mount Deer 2000 aka Lu4 Ding3 Ji4, currently showing on Channel U, is so popular. Maybe it's because all males want to have 7 wives :) A selection of pictures follows:
Group photo in the palace (ignore the nun)
All sitting on a wooden jetty dressed as tribeswomen
Mugshots
The one they killed off because Shu Qi was too expensive
Post ID: 92879542
Excellent article (though in a more secularised society like Singapore's, there's really nothing to come out of):
Coming Out - Atheism: The Other Closet
"The religious right have engaged an a war of words and slander against their greatest enemy: the logic and common sense of atheism. The Bible goes so far as to forbid contact with atheists (2 Corinthians 6:14), thereby stemming debate and preventing the incursion of logical, non-religious ideas entering the flock... Only a small portion of atheists are open (out of the closet) about their atheism, and as a result we are viewed as a much smaller percentage of the population than we really are. In other words, the legislators are paying less attention to us than they should. In still other words, the Christian Right are winning.
To me, one of the best components of atheism is the freedom of thought and mind. Prejudice against people of other sexes, races, or sexual preferences is rare, because most of such prejudice is religion-based and completely illogical. We argue with each other, thrive on debate, and feel like we're better people after we've been proven wrong. We do good because it's the right thing to do, not out of a selfish fear of eternal damnation or a need to "win points" with a deity... Since we are bound only by our disbelief, there are atheists with differing views on every political, economic, and social issue. I view this as a benefit which should serve as a model from which the rest of the world could learn. Atheists are united in diversity. We are moral, we are ethical, and we're tired of being defamed and maligned for our disbelief. Sound familiar?
The fact is, that there is nothing shameful about atheism. Rather, it should be viewed as a major accomplishment. Most people stick with the religion in which they were raised, never thinking or examining the reasons why. Those that switch religions (or sects of a particular religion) often never truly question the belief in a god. Those that do should be proud that they have searched and reached an educated conclusion, and so should you.
As an atheist, you have broken out of the cycle of doing what you're told because someone says God says so. You think for yourself, you are self reliant, and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions. Showing yourself is your next great decision.
Coming Out - Doing it.
Ok, so now you've decided/realized that you're an atheist, and you're about to tell the people you know about it. Exactly how is it done?
There are three simple rules to follow when coming out as an atheist, which I've found to be quite helpful.
1. Be confident. Don't come out by saying "I'm thinking that I'm having some doubts about religion." This will only invite people to try to "save you before it's too late." When you tell people, state it with no uncertain terms, in the present tense, and make sure to convey that you've come to an educated decision. Try something like "after a lot of soul searching and talking to a lot of people, I've decided to give up on religion" or "I've been an atheist for some time now, so I won't be going to church with you anymore."
Smile, be confident, and proud. This is an accomplishment not a shame. This is a good thing you want to share with your loved ones. If you convey this attitude, the people you are telling may receive these signals, which may make the situation go a little easier.
2. Be Compassionate. Yes, YOU be compassionate to THEM. Understand that the people you tell love you, and actually believe in God and their preachers' teachings. They are victims - just as you are - of the lies and falsehoods told by religious organizations, the only difference being they actually may believe those lies. They may express their emotions as anger, but a little education and steadfastness mixed with understanding may allow them to get over that hump quickly.
Make sure you tell your parents that they succeeded (instead of failed) in raising you as a person who makes his/her own decisions and does not follow blindly. They did a good job. Tell them you're happy, and, at the end, let it slip in that this is your decision and that they have no reason to be hurt or to judge you, and that you're grateful for their acceptance and love.
3. Hope for the Best, but prepare for the worst. The best is obviously "I'm an atheist too" or "so what" but don't count on it. As I said earlier, friends are easier than anyone else, and are less likely to reject you because of you atheism. I've lost potential friendships because of it, but never an established friend (even the most pious ones). However, be prepared for all the standard questions from "you're going to Hell" to "does this mean you pray to Satan" to "How could you do this to me?" from loved ones and family members.
The best defense for this is to have answers for questions at the ready. You know your people better than anyone, and are best suited for guessing what those questions might be. Below are some frequently-used statements and some suggested counterpoints for your reference:
* "Atheists have no morals, since they don't believe in God" - What a sad world it is when people can seriously say that humans need to fear eternal damnation in order to do good.
Humans have the idea of right and wrong imbedded in them by their own brains, as well as their upbringing and society. Atheists do good, not out of fear of reprisal, but because it's the right thing to do. We value family, society, culture, and, of course, freedom. Many of us will - and have - defend these values with our lives.
Examples:
o Slavery was not only acceptable 200 years ago, it was considered a good deed by many, and defended using the bible. The bible was also used to justify the Holocaust, the Crusades, and the Spanish Inquisition. This shows that the bible can be used to defend even the most immoral and unethical ideals, and is therefore not an adequate yardstick to measure moral or ethical behavior.
o Mention bad religious people. Remember that Hitler was a Catholic, and that Jeffrey Dahmer said grace before he ate his victims. Mention also that one need only open a newspaper to find yet another story about allegations against priests for sexual misconduct, often with children. Don't forget our good friends Jim Bakker (who swindled millions from his flock) and Jimmy Swaggart (asked for forgiveness only after being caught using prostitutes).
o Always couple these statements with the fact that, while atheists make up 8-10% of the population at large, we only make up 1% of the population in prison. I mean, think of it, what if 8-10% of the population (on top of all the religious criminals) decided it was OK to steal, rape, and murder? We'd have chaos! These will serve to prove that religion and ethical behavior are not even slightly related.
* "Atheists believe in evolution, but that doesn't answer as many questions as creationism"- Atheism is not a scientific theory, rather a lack of religion. We do believe in science, and that all questions will eventually be answered with science if they are not answered today, but we readily admit that not all answers are known to us right now. That is no reason, however, for inventing a fictional god to whom to give credit, especially when all it does is create more questions. Science has done well so far, giving theories regarding evolution, geological movement, and the Big Bang, all supported by evidence, but not necessarily endorsed by all atheists.
* "Atheists cannot know there is no God, since you cannot prove he doesn't exist" - Again, this is a two sided coin, but the theists are loathe to admit the other side. Atheists don't need to prove the non-existence of God, any more we need to prove the nonexistence of Zeus or Santa Claus. Can theists prove God over any alternatives? Of course not. Nobody can prove God exists, yet they will stand on their heads saying they're sure. Well, if they can be sure despite evidence to the contrary, we can be sure in light of evidence in support of atheism.
* "Atheists seek to remove religion from society, and to force all people to be atheists" - Absolutely wrong. We seek only the freedom for people to make their choice on their own, free of intervention from the government or public school system. We seek the freedom not to support religion through taxes, forced participation, or special privileges of any kind. That being said, your thoughts are your rights, and none of our business. Wear your jewelry, celebrate your holidays, and pray in your house, church, or in public if you like. Just don't force your religion on other people. That's what we're all about.
* "Atheists are so closed-minded, they can't see that miracles happen every day!" - Some people look for miracles where none exist (they never do). Allow me to put things in perspective: Someone's cancer going into remission is no miracle, but we can talk when disease suddenly disappears from the face of the earth overnight without help from medical science. Food getting through to a hungry village: human perseverance. Starvation vanishing from earth without a reason overnight: Miracle. One more time: A child is born - science; The spontaneous end of birth defects - Miracle. Got it?
Note: only good things are miracles, so volcanoes, tornadoes, and hurricanes don't count. Just for good measure, I also wanted to list some good questions to have as support for your reasoning to be an atheist. NOTE: These may start or worsen a fight, and are to be used sparingly. They are dangerous questions which can only be answered with "the lord works in mysterious ways" or the like. You also might get the old "you're asking questions about God, so you must believe in Him" speech. This is easily countered by saying that it's easier to prove the bible wrong using the bible itself, and that your arguments do not constitute an acknowledgement of God's existence any more than a discussion about Greek mythology would prove a belief in Zeus.
Use these only when you are sure of a congenial discussion, and be prepared to agree to disagree.
* If God is all-powerful, why did he take 6 days to create the universe, resting on the 7th? Why didn't he just snap his proverbial fingers and create everything all at once, and not need rest afterwards? Doesn't sound so all-powerful to me.
* If God knows the future, why does he make mistakes? He should have known he would regret the flood, and that Sodom and Gomora would be full of sinners, etc.
* Why does God need to be "served", and why can't we do it from heaven?
* Yes, we have free will, but God already knows who will sin, who will accept Him, etc, for all eternity (since he has perfect knowledge of the future). Why then, are we here? Why not just send our souls to Heaven or Hell, depending on what he knows we'll do?
* Why does God care if he is praised? He is this all-knowing, super being, why does he care if we mere humans give him credit for creating the universe?
* How can you justify the fact that this merciful, loving god is sending all non-Christians to Hell, no matter how good they are? Even those from before Christ was born went to hell. However, terrible people, including Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer, could go to Heaven if they repented before death.
* Why does this wonderful, forgiving God hold Adam's sin over all our heads? Why must we all pay for this by being permanent sinners? If God was so pissed, why didn't he just kill Adam and Eve and start over? Again, this is God's choice, so they're going to have to explain why God CHOOSES to hold this incredible grudge.
* Where did God come from? How did he get created? Why is it a valid argument to say that He "always existed", but an invalid argument to say the same thing about matter and energy?
Once you've both agreed to disagree, you've successfully outed yourself to that person. Avoid that awkward post discussion silence, making sure the discussion has completed, and not that the person to whom you are speaking is searching for words to continue. The best thing to do is change the subject to something positive, smile, and get on with your relationship with this person. S/he may need some time to adapt, but it will be made easier if you be yourself and show your happiness at being free of the closet.
Be a proud, open, honest atheist, not another closeted victim of the Christian Right."
Coming Out - Atheism: The Other Closet
"The religious right have engaged an a war of words and slander against their greatest enemy: the logic and common sense of atheism. The Bible goes so far as to forbid contact with atheists (2 Corinthians 6:14), thereby stemming debate and preventing the incursion of logical, non-religious ideas entering the flock... Only a small portion of atheists are open (out of the closet) about their atheism, and as a result we are viewed as a much smaller percentage of the population than we really are. In other words, the legislators are paying less attention to us than they should. In still other words, the Christian Right are winning.
To me, one of the best components of atheism is the freedom of thought and mind. Prejudice against people of other sexes, races, or sexual preferences is rare, because most of such prejudice is religion-based and completely illogical. We argue with each other, thrive on debate, and feel like we're better people after we've been proven wrong. We do good because it's the right thing to do, not out of a selfish fear of eternal damnation or a need to "win points" with a deity... Since we are bound only by our disbelief, there are atheists with differing views on every political, economic, and social issue. I view this as a benefit which should serve as a model from which the rest of the world could learn. Atheists are united in diversity. We are moral, we are ethical, and we're tired of being defamed and maligned for our disbelief. Sound familiar?
The fact is, that there is nothing shameful about atheism. Rather, it should be viewed as a major accomplishment. Most people stick with the religion in which they were raised, never thinking or examining the reasons why. Those that switch religions (or sects of a particular religion) often never truly question the belief in a god. Those that do should be proud that they have searched and reached an educated conclusion, and so should you.
As an atheist, you have broken out of the cycle of doing what you're told because someone says God says so. You think for yourself, you are self reliant, and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions. Showing yourself is your next great decision.
Coming Out - Doing it.
Ok, so now you've decided/realized that you're an atheist, and you're about to tell the people you know about it. Exactly how is it done?
There are three simple rules to follow when coming out as an atheist, which I've found to be quite helpful.
1. Be confident. Don't come out by saying "I'm thinking that I'm having some doubts about religion." This will only invite people to try to "save you before it's too late." When you tell people, state it with no uncertain terms, in the present tense, and make sure to convey that you've come to an educated decision. Try something like "after a lot of soul searching and talking to a lot of people, I've decided to give up on religion" or "I've been an atheist for some time now, so I won't be going to church with you anymore."
Smile, be confident, and proud. This is an accomplishment not a shame. This is a good thing you want to share with your loved ones. If you convey this attitude, the people you are telling may receive these signals, which may make the situation go a little easier.
2. Be Compassionate. Yes, YOU be compassionate to THEM. Understand that the people you tell love you, and actually believe in God and their preachers' teachings. They are victims - just as you are - of the lies and falsehoods told by religious organizations, the only difference being they actually may believe those lies. They may express their emotions as anger, but a little education and steadfastness mixed with understanding may allow them to get over that hump quickly.
Make sure you tell your parents that they succeeded (instead of failed) in raising you as a person who makes his/her own decisions and does not follow blindly. They did a good job. Tell them you're happy, and, at the end, let it slip in that this is your decision and that they have no reason to be hurt or to judge you, and that you're grateful for their acceptance and love.
3. Hope for the Best, but prepare for the worst. The best is obviously "I'm an atheist too" or "so what" but don't count on it. As I said earlier, friends are easier than anyone else, and are less likely to reject you because of you atheism. I've lost potential friendships because of it, but never an established friend (even the most pious ones). However, be prepared for all the standard questions from "you're going to Hell" to "does this mean you pray to Satan" to "How could you do this to me?" from loved ones and family members.
The best defense for this is to have answers for questions at the ready. You know your people better than anyone, and are best suited for guessing what those questions might be. Below are some frequently-used statements and some suggested counterpoints for your reference:
* "Atheists have no morals, since they don't believe in God" - What a sad world it is when people can seriously say that humans need to fear eternal damnation in order to do good.
Humans have the idea of right and wrong imbedded in them by their own brains, as well as their upbringing and society. Atheists do good, not out of fear of reprisal, but because it's the right thing to do. We value family, society, culture, and, of course, freedom. Many of us will - and have - defend these values with our lives.
Examples:
o Slavery was not only acceptable 200 years ago, it was considered a good deed by many, and defended using the bible. The bible was also used to justify the Holocaust, the Crusades, and the Spanish Inquisition. This shows that the bible can be used to defend even the most immoral and unethical ideals, and is therefore not an adequate yardstick to measure moral or ethical behavior.
o Mention bad religious people. Remember that Hitler was a Catholic, and that Jeffrey Dahmer said grace before he ate his victims. Mention also that one need only open a newspaper to find yet another story about allegations against priests for sexual misconduct, often with children. Don't forget our good friends Jim Bakker (who swindled millions from his flock) and Jimmy Swaggart (asked for forgiveness only after being caught using prostitutes).
o Always couple these statements with the fact that, while atheists make up 8-10% of the population at large, we only make up 1% of the population in prison. I mean, think of it, what if 8-10% of the population (on top of all the religious criminals) decided it was OK to steal, rape, and murder? We'd have chaos! These will serve to prove that religion and ethical behavior are not even slightly related.
* "Atheists believe in evolution, but that doesn't answer as many questions as creationism"- Atheism is not a scientific theory, rather a lack of religion. We do believe in science, and that all questions will eventually be answered with science if they are not answered today, but we readily admit that not all answers are known to us right now. That is no reason, however, for inventing a fictional god to whom to give credit, especially when all it does is create more questions. Science has done well so far, giving theories regarding evolution, geological movement, and the Big Bang, all supported by evidence, but not necessarily endorsed by all atheists.
* "Atheists cannot know there is no God, since you cannot prove he doesn't exist" - Again, this is a two sided coin, but the theists are loathe to admit the other side. Atheists don't need to prove the non-existence of God, any more we need to prove the nonexistence of Zeus or Santa Claus. Can theists prove God over any alternatives? Of course not. Nobody can prove God exists, yet they will stand on their heads saying they're sure. Well, if they can be sure despite evidence to the contrary, we can be sure in light of evidence in support of atheism.
* "Atheists seek to remove religion from society, and to force all people to be atheists" - Absolutely wrong. We seek only the freedom for people to make their choice on their own, free of intervention from the government or public school system. We seek the freedom not to support religion through taxes, forced participation, or special privileges of any kind. That being said, your thoughts are your rights, and none of our business. Wear your jewelry, celebrate your holidays, and pray in your house, church, or in public if you like. Just don't force your religion on other people. That's what we're all about.
* "Atheists are so closed-minded, they can't see that miracles happen every day!" - Some people look for miracles where none exist (they never do). Allow me to put things in perspective: Someone's cancer going into remission is no miracle, but we can talk when disease suddenly disappears from the face of the earth overnight without help from medical science. Food getting through to a hungry village: human perseverance. Starvation vanishing from earth without a reason overnight: Miracle. One more time: A child is born - science; The spontaneous end of birth defects - Miracle. Got it?
Note: only good things are miracles, so volcanoes, tornadoes, and hurricanes don't count. Just for good measure, I also wanted to list some good questions to have as support for your reasoning to be an atheist. NOTE: These may start or worsen a fight, and are to be used sparingly. They are dangerous questions which can only be answered with "the lord works in mysterious ways" or the like. You also might get the old "you're asking questions about God, so you must believe in Him" speech. This is easily countered by saying that it's easier to prove the bible wrong using the bible itself, and that your arguments do not constitute an acknowledgement of God's existence any more than a discussion about Greek mythology would prove a belief in Zeus.
Use these only when you are sure of a congenial discussion, and be prepared to agree to disagree.
* If God is all-powerful, why did he take 6 days to create the universe, resting on the 7th? Why didn't he just snap his proverbial fingers and create everything all at once, and not need rest afterwards? Doesn't sound so all-powerful to me.
* If God knows the future, why does he make mistakes? He should have known he would regret the flood, and that Sodom and Gomora would be full of sinners, etc.
* Why does God need to be "served", and why can't we do it from heaven?
* Yes, we have free will, but God already knows who will sin, who will accept Him, etc, for all eternity (since he has perfect knowledge of the future). Why then, are we here? Why not just send our souls to Heaven or Hell, depending on what he knows we'll do?
* Why does God care if he is praised? He is this all-knowing, super being, why does he care if we mere humans give him credit for creating the universe?
* How can you justify the fact that this merciful, loving god is sending all non-Christians to Hell, no matter how good they are? Even those from before Christ was born went to hell. However, terrible people, including Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer, could go to Heaven if they repented before death.
* Why does this wonderful, forgiving God hold Adam's sin over all our heads? Why must we all pay for this by being permanent sinners? If God was so pissed, why didn't he just kill Adam and Eve and start over? Again, this is God's choice, so they're going to have to explain why God CHOOSES to hold this incredible grudge.
* Where did God come from? How did he get created? Why is it a valid argument to say that He "always existed", but an invalid argument to say the same thing about matter and energy?
Once you've both agreed to disagree, you've successfully outed yourself to that person. Avoid that awkward post discussion silence, making sure the discussion has completed, and not that the person to whom you are speaking is searching for words to continue. The best thing to do is change the subject to something positive, smile, and get on with your relationship with this person. S/he may need some time to adapt, but it will be made easier if you be yourself and show your happiness at being free of the closet.
Be a proud, open, honest atheist, not another closeted victim of the Christian Right."
Post ID: 92878057
Not your everyday Teh Tarik Man
PRIZE-WINNING AGILITY: Norazlin performing his way to the RM10,000 first prize. He combined martial arts moves with his teh tarik skills, which included somersaulting while holding a full mug of tea and balancing on one leg atop a ladder.
As I always have chanted : Malaysia Boleh!
PRIZE-WINNING AGILITY: Norazlin performing his way to the RM10,000 first prize. He combined martial arts moves with his teh tarik skills, which included somersaulting while holding a full mug of tea and balancing on one leg atop a ladder.
As I always have chanted : Malaysia Boleh!
Post ID: 92877463
From He Who Must Not Be Named:
"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing (SatireWire.com) � Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing (SatireWire.com) � Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
Post ID: 92877394
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Sunday, April 13, 2003
We were cleaning the toilet one morning when Jason got into one of his moods, and started pulling my singlet and singing a Chinese love song. I then threatened to serenade him with madrigals :) I also saw Melvin cleaning the shower cubicles with the toilet bowl scrub - eeeeew. "What they don't know won't hurt them." Grr. While cleaning, I was also pondering why most people dislike toilet cleaning. Granted: It's wet and dirty, but it's much easier and faster than bunk cleaning. Of course, nothing beats the smoking point.
There was one night where they tried to pin down and stip Yong Siang 4 times, but didn't succeed even on the fourth try, with my semi-complicity. I'll put it down to bad teamwork.
On Tuesday, we had an outing to watch 'The Core' at Jurong Point. We managed to catch the shuttle bus, and Yaodong was on it! Only when we got to Jurong Point, he was still sleeping, and no one bothered to wake him up. We, being the last ones to get off the bus, crept off carefully so as not to disturb his slumber, and in the end the bus driver had to shout him awake. Oh well. A few days later, someone was telling me how he came in one night on a stretcher, but miraculously got up in the ambulance to talk to the medic and remove his mask, only to fall into a coma again once the ambulance reached Tengah Medical Centre, waking up again when the ambulance left for NUH and then falling into a coma again when they reached NUH. Why does he do all this, I wonder? Doesn't he realise it only makes people hate him?
We had to clean the very dirty fans in our bunk, and one was directly above Yong Siang's bed. Even after I had put sheets of old newspaper on his bed, though, some of the dirt fell onto it, leaving black marks on the bedsheet and the others were saying that Yong Siang would kill me when he came back. After some consideration, I had a brainwave, and took one of many packets of SAF powder in one wooden shoe cupboard and sprinkled and rubbed powder onto the black spots, reasoning that this would make the black marks invisible. However, there were now obvious patches of cream on the white bedsheet, like it'd gotten vitiligo, so I proceeded to dump the whole packet of powder onto the bed so the splotches weren't obvious. Yong Siang loves powder anyway, so this wouldn't have been a problem for him. Later that night, Boon Huat came back and seeing Yong Siang's bed unoccupied, he took it with glee, it being the best bed due to its location directly under the fan. Since by then the lights were off and we were all sleeping, he didn't see the condition of the bed, so when he sat on it, *poof* went the powder. The next morning, when I awoke, there was a thick layer of powder on my wooden cabinet - Boon Huat had hit most of the powder from the bed, and much had gone onto my wooden cabinet.
The Printol company, Coventry Chemicals, hasn't produced any Printol for a while, apparently because they ran out of some ingredients, so we now have 'Sudol'. It is made by them too and comes in the same container, but it sucks. It has more than twice the concentration, is "toxic" rather than corrosive, and smells like sewage in concentrated form (at least Printol smells sorta nice and clean). The smell was so bad that after mopping the floor with it, I felt like fainting. :(
I did someone a favour by exchanging duties with him, taking Friday even though this week had a long weekend, since he said he had something to do. That was okay, but somehow, my company got an early release on Friday and fell out at 12pm, while the Medics left at 3 plus. Argh argh argh. Just my luck.
One poor guy reported sick for footrot but we had trouble getting his temperature, so I had to take his rectal temperature :( Luckily, it wasn't as traumatising (both for me and him) as I'd thought it would be.
Melvin dug up the old bottle of air freshener, so we tried to do the party trick of using it as a flamethrower. When we tried, however, the gas wouldn't light. "Non-flammable". Gah.
People love to play with the Treatment Room Screen Saver (but oddly, none other), mostly by inserting "Jiabao" into the Marquee text, so I went to move and rename the marquee file. Muahaha. I am 1337.
I was trying to recall the Seven Wonders of the World according to Herodotus, with Choo and Andrew, and dammit I could only remember six. The Pyramids were a no-brainer (though apparently it's only Khufu's which is the wonder), the Hanging Gardens of Babylon came easily, as did the Temple of Zeus at Olympia, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus (though I remembered it as the Mausoleum *of* Halicarnassus), the Colossus of Rhodes and the Lighthouse of Pharos in Alexandria. However hard I tried, though, I couldn't remember The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. Damn. I'm really losing my touch.
I finally went to ask one Corporal playing CS in the old E-learning centre how one could get to do that. Apparently one must be from the School of Armour to draw the key :( I thought the place belonged to the whole camp!
Even though we're out of BMT, we still have to obey commands as if we're dogs - "Up!", "Sit!" and the like. Nay, even dogs are better treated - they don't have to knock it down, and they get doggie biscuits when they obey. For us, we just have to move the moment we hear the barked commands - which is practically everyday. In fact, even in BMT it wasn't that bad - at most they'd do a sit-stand combo when we were slow. Sad indeed it is in the Army, when sadism masquerades as enforcing discipline, and regimentation is implemented for regimentation's sake.
I think, apart from off days and long weekends, a new type of off should be introduced - stay out. This will fill the last hole in the compensation of servicemen, and can be a minor reward. Current SOP personnel - too bad,
AETC is getting 6 days off per week of duty at Jurong Island. And Lenny had the nerve to complain!
More unhealthy ads: Slimming Sanctuary - "How do I measure my success? Inch by inch!" This is bad. Females will then take the size of their waistlines as a proxy for other measures of self-worth.
Chua Lee Hoong was bashed in the forum for her column, "Me? I'd rather save the money on". Aww. Personally, I find her columns less irritating - both in style and content - and one-sided nowadays, but they're still irksome most of the time.
Osim is advertising for a 'super dry steam cleaner'. Wth. How can steam be dry? Especially when it condenses.
Some Arabs were unhappy that the Iraqis didn't resist the 'coalition' (of but 2 major nations and 2 token ones). One even said that "I spit on them". Right. *They * weren't the ones who had to live under Saddam. And for all the hooha about the un-balanced coverage of American TV, Arab channels didn't show the scenes of jubilation in the country when Baghdad fell. Meanwhile, no one cares about the Congolese and they are relegated to a footnote in the news (if indeed, they are mentioned at all with SARS and Iraq and all)
A camp mate has seen the joys of Phoenix. Muaha (though I still prefer Mozilla). And some camp mates I showed the Happy Tree Friends too said it was "e3 xin1". Hehe.
In the lift with a woman and her two children:
Woman: Let gor gor go out first
Girl: Uncle lah, what gor gor
Gah! I'm not that old, am I?
Quotes:
I will integrate him later (interrogate)
I can't stand it when you call him 'Thunder Thighs'. It's so funny
[On my stomach] It's the 'no support' pillow. My head keeps sinking in
I'm very willing to receive arrows. You ask me, I won't reject you one (If you, you)
[On me] Ta1 xiao3 shi2 hou4 bu4 hui4 fei2 [Translation: When he was young, he wasn't fat] [Me: How do you know?] I went to your website [Me: Aiyah]
go for canteen break at the irreverent timings (breaks, irregular)
[Me: What do you think of our cookhouse?] Fucked up! [Me: Do you eat breakfast [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat lunch [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat dinner [there]?] Sometimes.
I want a PDA. Help me indent [one].
[On Carex Condoms] Zhe4 ge4 ni3 outfield yong4 de4 [Translation: You use these outfield] (!!!)
[Leans close to me] Let me give you a kiss, man. *muak* *muak* *muak* [Sees no reaction from me] You're a homosexual, man. You're a homosexual. [Me: Your breath stinks]
Suppose you tell your PC: I play 'Neopets'. Your PC is Lin Yucheng. 'Very good, very good. Have you heard of this program? Hunter-seeker?... Recommend you for OCS.'
There was one night where they tried to pin down and stip Yong Siang 4 times, but didn't succeed even on the fourth try, with my semi-complicity. I'll put it down to bad teamwork.
On Tuesday, we had an outing to watch 'The Core' at Jurong Point. We managed to catch the shuttle bus, and Yaodong was on it! Only when we got to Jurong Point, he was still sleeping, and no one bothered to wake him up. We, being the last ones to get off the bus, crept off carefully so as not to disturb his slumber, and in the end the bus driver had to shout him awake. Oh well. A few days later, someone was telling me how he came in one night on a stretcher, but miraculously got up in the ambulance to talk to the medic and remove his mask, only to fall into a coma again once the ambulance reached Tengah Medical Centre, waking up again when the ambulance left for NUH and then falling into a coma again when they reached NUH. Why does he do all this, I wonder? Doesn't he realise it only makes people hate him?
We had to clean the very dirty fans in our bunk, and one was directly above Yong Siang's bed. Even after I had put sheets of old newspaper on his bed, though, some of the dirt fell onto it, leaving black marks on the bedsheet and the others were saying that Yong Siang would kill me when he came back. After some consideration, I had a brainwave, and took one of many packets of SAF powder in one wooden shoe cupboard and sprinkled and rubbed powder onto the black spots, reasoning that this would make the black marks invisible. However, there were now obvious patches of cream on the white bedsheet, like it'd gotten vitiligo, so I proceeded to dump the whole packet of powder onto the bed so the splotches weren't obvious. Yong Siang loves powder anyway, so this wouldn't have been a problem for him. Later that night, Boon Huat came back and seeing Yong Siang's bed unoccupied, he took it with glee, it being the best bed due to its location directly under the fan. Since by then the lights were off and we were all sleeping, he didn't see the condition of the bed, so when he sat on it, *poof* went the powder. The next morning, when I awoke, there was a thick layer of powder on my wooden cabinet - Boon Huat had hit most of the powder from the bed, and much had gone onto my wooden cabinet.
The Printol company, Coventry Chemicals, hasn't produced any Printol for a while, apparently because they ran out of some ingredients, so we now have 'Sudol'. It is made by them too and comes in the same container, but it sucks. It has more than twice the concentration, is "toxic" rather than corrosive, and smells like sewage in concentrated form (at least Printol smells sorta nice and clean). The smell was so bad that after mopping the floor with it, I felt like fainting. :(
I did someone a favour by exchanging duties with him, taking Friday even though this week had a long weekend, since he said he had something to do. That was okay, but somehow, my company got an early release on Friday and fell out at 12pm, while the Medics left at 3 plus. Argh argh argh. Just my luck.
One poor guy reported sick for footrot but we had trouble getting his temperature, so I had to take his rectal temperature :( Luckily, it wasn't as traumatising (both for me and him) as I'd thought it would be.
Melvin dug up the old bottle of air freshener, so we tried to do the party trick of using it as a flamethrower. When we tried, however, the gas wouldn't light. "Non-flammable". Gah.
People love to play with the Treatment Room Screen Saver (but oddly, none other), mostly by inserting "Jiabao" into the Marquee text, so I went to move and rename the marquee file. Muahaha. I am 1337.
I was trying to recall the Seven Wonders of the World according to Herodotus, with Choo and Andrew, and dammit I could only remember six. The Pyramids were a no-brainer (though apparently it's only Khufu's which is the wonder), the Hanging Gardens of Babylon came easily, as did the Temple of Zeus at Olympia, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus (though I remembered it as the Mausoleum *of* Halicarnassus), the Colossus of Rhodes and the Lighthouse of Pharos in Alexandria. However hard I tried, though, I couldn't remember The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. Damn. I'm really losing my touch.
I finally went to ask one Corporal playing CS in the old E-learning centre how one could get to do that. Apparently one must be from the School of Armour to draw the key :( I thought the place belonged to the whole camp!
Even though we're out of BMT, we still have to obey commands as if we're dogs - "Up!", "Sit!" and the like. Nay, even dogs are better treated - they don't have to knock it down, and they get doggie biscuits when they obey. For us, we just have to move the moment we hear the barked commands - which is practically everyday. In fact, even in BMT it wasn't that bad - at most they'd do a sit-stand combo when we were slow. Sad indeed it is in the Army, when sadism masquerades as enforcing discipline, and regimentation is implemented for regimentation's sake.
I think, apart from off days and long weekends, a new type of off should be introduced - stay out. This will fill the last hole in the compensation of servicemen, and can be a minor reward. Current SOP personnel - too bad,
AETC is getting 6 days off per week of duty at Jurong Island. And Lenny had the nerve to complain!
More unhealthy ads: Slimming Sanctuary - "How do I measure my success? Inch by inch!" This is bad. Females will then take the size of their waistlines as a proxy for other measures of self-worth.
Chua Lee Hoong was bashed in the forum for her column, "Me? I'd rather save the money on". Aww. Personally, I find her columns less irritating - both in style and content - and one-sided nowadays, but they're still irksome most of the time.
Osim is advertising for a 'super dry steam cleaner'. Wth. How can steam be dry? Especially when it condenses.
Some Arabs were unhappy that the Iraqis didn't resist the 'coalition' (of but 2 major nations and 2 token ones). One even said that "I spit on them". Right. *They * weren't the ones who had to live under Saddam. And for all the hooha about the un-balanced coverage of American TV, Arab channels didn't show the scenes of jubilation in the country when Baghdad fell. Meanwhile, no one cares about the Congolese and they are relegated to a footnote in the news (if indeed, they are mentioned at all with SARS and Iraq and all)
A camp mate has seen the joys of Phoenix. Muaha (though I still prefer Mozilla). And some camp mates I showed the Happy Tree Friends too said it was "e3 xin1". Hehe.
In the lift with a woman and her two children:
Woman: Let gor gor go out first
Girl: Uncle lah, what gor gor
Gah! I'm not that old, am I?
Quotes:
I will integrate him later (interrogate)
I can't stand it when you call him 'Thunder Thighs'. It's so funny
[On my stomach] It's the 'no support' pillow. My head keeps sinking in
I'm very willing to receive arrows. You ask me, I won't reject you one (If you, you)
[On me] Ta1 xiao3 shi2 hou4 bu4 hui4 fei2 [Translation: When he was young, he wasn't fat] [Me: How do you know?] I went to your website [Me: Aiyah]
go for canteen break at the irreverent timings (breaks, irregular)
[Me: What do you think of our cookhouse?] Fucked up! [Me: Do you eat breakfast [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat lunch [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat dinner [there]?] Sometimes.
I want a PDA. Help me indent [one].
[On Carex Condoms] Zhe4 ge4 ni3 outfield yong4 de4 [Translation: You use these outfield] (!!!)
[Leans close to me] Let me give you a kiss, man. *muak* *muak* *muak* [Sees no reaction from me] You're a homosexual, man. You're a homosexual. [Me: Your breath stinks]
Suppose you tell your PC: I play 'Neopets'. Your PC is Lin Yucheng. 'Very good, very good. Have you heard of this program? Hunter-seeker?... Recommend you for OCS.'
Post ID: 92524589
Damn.
Someone beat me to spoofing God's Billboards.
Here are two of my own - the first 2 being tongue-in-cheek and the latter having more of a mentally provocative bent. Unfortunately, it's hard to evoke certain concepts (some meta-physical in nature) succinctly so I don't think I'll be able to make any to spark people into thinking about the meaning of life.
Someone beat me to spoofing God's Billboards.
Here are two of my own - the first 2 being tongue-in-cheek and the latter having more of a mentally provocative bent. Unfortunately, it's hard to evoke certain concepts (some meta-physical in nature) succinctly so I don't think I'll be able to make any to spark people into thinking about the meaning of life.
Post ID: 92517041
Saturday, April 12, 2003
Woah.
Lucky I signed up early.
Pyxz.com is now not free. It's cheap though at a one time fee of $5.
"# Excessive bandwidht (sic) usage applies tho accoutns create after April 8th 2003. Previous user accounts have been grandfathered since the service fee was not in place prior to this date.
# Customer agrees that bandwidth shall not exceed the 100 megabytes per day."
Ooh. Unlimited bandwith!!!
Arrogant Worms: Carrot Juice Is Murder
Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream
Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour,
I'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower"
Chorus
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!
Oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!
I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade
(is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......)
Power to the peas! Give peas a chance!
all we are saying, is give peas a chance
LOL
Lucky I signed up early.
Pyxz.com is now not free. It's cheap though at a one time fee of $5.
"# Excessive bandwidht (sic) usage applies tho accoutns create after April 8th 2003. Previous user accounts have been grandfathered since the service fee was not in place prior to this date.
# Customer agrees that bandwidth shall not exceed the 100 megabytes per day."
Ooh. Unlimited bandwith!!!
Arrogant Worms: Carrot Juice Is Murder
Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream
Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour,
I'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower"
Chorus
How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!
Oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!
I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade
(is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......)
Power to the peas! Give peas a chance!
all we are saying, is give peas a chance
LOL
Post ID: 92476147
Articles of Faith of the Apathetic Agnostic Church (The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic)
1. The existence of a Supreme Being is unknown and unknowable.
To believe in the existence of a god is an act of faith. To believe in the nonexistence of a god is likewise an act of faith. There is no evidence that there is a Supreme Being nor is there evidence there is not a Supreme Being. Faith is not knowledge. We can only state with assurance that we do not know.
2. If there is a Supreme Being, then that being appears to act as if apathetic to events in our universe.
All events in our Universe, including its creation, can be explained with or without the existence of a Supreme Being. Thus, if there is indeed a God, then that god has had no more impact than no god at all. To all appearances, any purported Supreme Being is indifferent to our Universe and to its inhabitants.
3. We are apathetic to the existence or nonexistence of a Supreme Being.
If there is a God, and that God does not appear to care, then there is no reason to concern ourselves with whether or not a Supreme Being exists, nor should we have any interest in satisfying the purported needs of that Supreme Being.
The Last Question
Isaac Asimov
Copyright (c) 1956 by Columbia Publications, Inc
Used without permission for educational use
"The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way..."
A most intriguing short story. With an unexpected and amusing end *g*
Meditation 84
An imaginary dialogue with an imaginary deity
As mentioned in previous Meditations, there are a number of billboards erected along America's highways, with some 20 different messages, all signed God. Following is an imaginary dialogue between GotB (God of the Billboards) and AD (Agnostic Driver,) using just the undedited words from those billboards for GotB's side of the conversation. Be amused, or be offended.
GotB: We need to talk.
AD: I don't think so. These billboards are more than enough. If you actually "talked," I'd probably think I was crazy. Just like most of those who claim you talk to them. Why should I listen to an unprovable invisible entity?
GotB: I don't doubt your existence.
AD: That's because I possess objective reality. You don't. Your attributes seem to be more imaginary than real. Humans really were not made in your image.
GotB: Don't make me come down there.
AD: Is that a threat? You like to make empty threats don't you. And some of your followers say you are a loving god.
GotB: I love you and you and you and you and...
AD: You have a strange way of showing it. It seems to me the love is demanded, not given. But enough of these signs. I have to concentrate on my driving.
GotB: Need directions?
AD: No thank you. I know where I'm going.
GotB: Follow me.
AD: As I said, I know where I'm going. And following the invisible won't get me there.
GotB: My way is the highway.
AD: Right; you've certainly marked it as yours with all these billboards you've excreted along the wayside.
GotB: Will the road you're on get you to my place?
AD: I hope not. I'm not planning on an accident. Though with this g@%d#@*# traffic...
GotB: Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.
AD: So you've fallen back into threat mode! If you really can influence rush hour, consider making it shorter. Then there will be a lot less swearing. Anyway, there are evils in the world that you should be more concerned with than the occasional curse.
GotB: What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?
AD: Oh I understand those three words alright. They say a lot about the personality your believers have given you. It is the words that follow them that I question. For example: "Thou shalt not kill." How many people did you order the Israelites to kill in the Old Testament? And that after you had given out the commandment. It really amounts to "Thou shalt not kill unless ordered by a voice in your head claiming to be god."
GotB: Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test.
AD: I've probably read more of it than most of your followers. As to the test, will the science questions be real? Or the ridiculous Genesis version?
GotB: Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding.
AD: No. The real question is why so many of your followers think the scientific theories of creation necessarily exclude god. Why can't they understand that while the creation story in Exodus is a myth, it maypossibly express an even more profound religious truth. Considering god working through science would be a much more intelligent religious view than that blindly accepted by the idiots who erected that sign in your name.
GotB: That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.
AD: Are you taking offence because I referred to certain of your followers as idiots? As long as they try to stuff their foolish religious views down my throat, they will never be loved by me. Not even liked! But other than applyingthat rule to them, I'll admit it is pretty good guidance. Too bad you didn't think of it first. But of course, your preachers claim in their sermons that you did.
GotB: Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.
AD: Before the game? Does this mean you've softened the fourth commandment? So you really are into sports? And which team is it that you really listen to the prayers of?
GotB: C'mon over and bring the kids.
AD: Catholic priests? Jehovah's Witness Elders? Do you really think I'd let the kids anywhere near a church?
GotB: Tell the kids I love them.
AD: Yeah - right! It's bad enough we have to protect them from your clergy...
GotB: Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.
AD: I don't think so. We don't accept that whole "wife as property" concept.
GotB: You think it's hot here?
AD: You really have to get those idiots who put up these billboards to change them with the seasons. It exposes the ineptness of it all when this particular sign is snow covered
I should spoof those highway billboards someday.
Lastly, a better essay than I'll ever write - short, sweet, lucid and to the point:
Why I Am Not A Christian, by Bertrand Russell
"What really moves people to believe in God is not any intellectual argument at all. Most people believe in God because they have been taught from early infancy to do it, and that is the main reason.
Then I think that the next most powerful reason is the wish for safety, a sort of feeling that there is a big brother who will look after you. That plays a very profound part in influencing people's desire for a belief in God. "
He doesn't touch on alleged 'experiences', though. This site does, though. Interestingly:
"epileptics have historically tended to be the people with the great mystical experiences. The Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, wrote of 'touching God' during epileptic seizures. Other religious figures from the past who may have been epileptic include S Paul, Joan of Arc, S Theresa of Avila and Emanuel Swedenhorg, the eighteenth-century founder of the New Jerusalem Church... Neurosurgeons who stimulate the limbic system during open-brain surgery say their patients occasionally report experiencing religious sensations. And Alzheimer�s disease, which is often marked by a loss of religious interest, tends to cripple the limbic system early on... anyone who still doubts the brain�s ability to generate religious experiences need only visit neuroscientist Michael Persinger at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ontario. Almost anyone can have a mystical experience just by wearing his magnetic hat. Persinger uses transcranial magnetic stimulation to induce all sorts of surreal experiences in ordinary people... For non-religious people, it is the feeling of a ghost, but religious types identify the presence as God."
Post ID: 92469033
OMG:
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Full monty military day experience - �0�1discount
Enjoy some heavy duty machine control with �0�1off the normal price
Ever fancied yourself at the controls of some serious military vehicles churning through mud, roaring up hills and possibly even running over a family saloon in a 55 ton Chieftain Main Battle Tank?
Can't wait to get your hands on an exhilarating experience? Give one of our experts a ring on 0870 241 6975 and you can book straight away.
What happens on the day?
This purpose built course with steep side slopes and deep mud pools will test your driving skills to the full. There are a variety of activities available on the day which usually include a 432 Armored Personnel Carrier, Snowcats, 548 Rapier Missile Launcher, Ferret Scout Vehicles, the Amphibious Stalwart and an Abbot 17 tone Gun Tank.
Please note we are acting as agents for 3rd party suppliers, please see our terms and conditions.
Offer of the Week at lastminute.com
Full monty military day experience - �0�1discount
Enjoy some heavy duty machine control with �0�1off the normal price
Ever fancied yourself at the controls of some serious military vehicles churning through mud, roaring up hills and possibly even running over a family saloon in a 55 ton Chieftain Main Battle Tank?
Can't wait to get your hands on an exhilarating experience? Give one of our experts a ring on 0870 241 6975 and you can book straight away.
What happens on the day?
This purpose built course with steep side slopes and deep mud pools will test your driving skills to the full. There are a variety of activities available on the day which usually include a 432 Armored Personnel Carrier, Snowcats, 548 Rapier Missile Launcher, Ferret Scout Vehicles, the Amphibious Stalwart and an Abbot 17 tone Gun Tank.
Also included are events such as target shooting or maybe even learn a few SAS skills. You will be awarded points for performance with the best driver of the day getting to crush a family saloon with your tank, an experience you will never forget.
When is it? Selected Saturdays throughout the year excluding December and January
Start Time: 9:00
Finish: 17:00 - 18:00
Where does the experience take place?
Northampton.
How long should I allow for this experience?
8 hours.
Are there any restrictions?
Minimum age 12
Maximum age 88
Minimum height 5ft
Maximum weight 125kg
Maximum chest measurement 50 inches.
What does the customer need to bring with them?
A towel and a change of clothing incase of wet weather. Please wear casual clothes.
About the instructors?
All instructors are professionally trained and offer a wealth of experience with heavy artillery vehicles.
Is there disabled access?
No.
Can friends and family come along to watch?
Yes - �pp, which includes a ride on a vehicle and lunch.
What about insurance?
Public Liability Insurance for �is included, along with all third party insurance for any vehicles or equipment used on the day. Personal Accident Insurance and cancellation cover for up to �000 is included. Details will be enclosed within your pack.
What happens when I book?
- Your presentation pack will be sent to you by first class post within 5 working days. Please allow 7 days for delivery during peak postal times
- Your full colour presentation gift pack will contain information about the experience, details of how to book, a personalised gift certificate and an open dated voucher valid for 9 months
- Booking a date couldn't be easier. After receiving your pack, simply telephone the number detailed in your information pack and they will do the rest
- It is advised that you book at least 4 weeks in advance, but sometimes last minute places are available
- Please note: delivery is by Royal Mail therefore lastminute.com cannot be held responsible for delays caused by the postal system
Please note we are acting as agents for 3rd party suppliers, please see our terms and conditions.
Post ID: 92465634
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Sunday, April 06, 2003
The cupboards in our Ops Room are named after girls. Just like the hills in our training area. I suppose this is so people can say things like "I'm on top of Jennifer", "We're attacking Jane now" and "I'm hugging Belinda". This goes to show how deprived NS guys really can be.
Yaodong came to report sick and was prescribed an IV. Unfortunately, he didn't let the medic poke him, so the MO had to come in and screw him, then poke him. Later, when the bag of fluid ran out, one of the Senior Medics went to remove the catheter and poke him again, instead of changing the bag. Everybody loves screwing Yaodong.
The SAF has implemented a new directive - everyone will have only one shot at range every year. I guess they finally figured out why they were losing so much money every year, both from the rounds and the marksmanship money *g* I'm just waiting for all the units in the BUC list to find loopholes, though the rule does seem rather airtight. Too bad IPPT and SOC don't cost them any money :(
Dannie laminated his status slip - PES C9L2 Perm, Ex-Running, Ex-Jumping, Ex-Drill Perm. GAH.
On our last night off in the month of March, almost all of us went out together, and we met up with Junxiong and Ming Kiat on the shuttle bus. Half of us were agitating for Fish & Co, while the other half claimed they were broke, thus proving the truth of the maxim that when you go out in a group of more than 2, one person will always be broke. At first they wanted to go to Long John Silver's, but later they suddenly walked into Pizza Hut (Yeech!). In the end, the price wasn't much less than what it'd have been at Fish & Co. Oh well. I guess people only like what they are familiar with. Later, we saw Henry at NTUC. He looks a little different, but still has the dark circles under his eyes that make him look like a drug addict, albeit our favourite drug addict :)
Later, we were in NTUC stocking up on provisions and people were looking for material in magazines to decorate the new book in / book out book. And someone *had* to make an Asian Prince reference:
Me: What we need is something tasteful.
Boon Wei: Like Asian Prince.
Me: *laughs semi-hysterically*
Yong Siang (in Chinese): In the future, don't make him laugh
Why does everyone like to make bad Asian Prince references?
Boon Wei also suggested, jokingly, no doubt (alas!), that we use some autopsy pictures from April's FHM magazine.
So on Tuesday, while I was waiting to book out, they were decorating the new book in / book out book, splashing tasteless pictures of semi-naked females all over its covers. I was fuming in bunk, waiting for them to be done so I could book out, when Prakash suggested that we sign the book first, before they finished decorating it. Damn. Why didn't *I* think of that? Anyhow when we traipsed down to the medical centre, I found that there were actually 2 pictures of males - one of a digitally simulated Bruce Lee and another of a topless beng with a stereo who reminded me of Jason - on the book in / book out book, and many of the pictures weren't totally just tasteless, gratuitous displays of female flesh after all, so I retracted my implicit threat to take pictures from rotten.com, or of Asian Prince, and paste them all over the book.
In the end, when I booked in on Wednesday night, I found that the pictures of females had been removed and replaced with drawings, in black and white, of something I can't quite describe. They looked like a fusion of several American Indian Totemic Creatures, but they were quite defined and not splashes of paint and so were not modern art.
I wonder why my mother always sits in the car when my father fetches me to camp. Is it so that she can nag, scold and admonish me? It certainly seems so. Perhaps it makes her feel better to relate anecdotes of dubious origin to attempt to shame me.
The season for Qing Ming is here and traffic's a killer on weekend mornings, so going to camp then is a drag. There are so many people bustling around the normally empty area, and so many cars parked along the side of the road. For some reason, it reminds me of a Malaysian Farmer's Market.
There was this sick Taiwanese show on Channel i when I last did Sunday duty. There were these 4 Lian looking 18 or 19 year old girls, the flower of Taiwan's youth, all with rebonded hair and in very Lian outfits, who'd been rated by people on a panel, and 'judges' in the studio had to guess their ratings as accurately as possible, while the girls' heights and weights were displayed in a sidebar at the side of the screen (at least it wasn't their 'vital statistics'). Later, the girls had to go out into the streets of Taipei and see how many guys were willing to give them their phone numbers, and the one with the most numbers won. And to end off, the girls did a catwalk (Point of information: Of the 4, 1 was totally inept, and another not very good). All in all, it just seemed like an excuse for males to ogle at females. Which is why hormonally charged Singaporean males in NS like to watch it.
Hamtaro is really intolerable! The TV happened to be on Channel i, and these humans were having a picnic, and they were shaking their heads to and fro merrily while singing the Hamtaro theme. The sheer horror of that caused me to run shrieking, with my hands over my ears, into the documentation room to hide from the gruesome sight.
I realised that anorexic girls can't donate blood since the criteria is that the donor has to weigh more than 50kg. One more advantage of being anorexic!
There's this Roman Catholic Church Leader in the Philippines named Sin. So he's "Cardinal Sin". HAHAHAHA.
The Straits Times was interviewing this suicide-bomber-to-be and his name, as given by the PLO's military wing's leader as 'Mohamad'. Whee. So we have narrowed down his identity to being among the 75% of Muslim males called Mohammad.
I called M1's customer service and the person at the phone was a male. Finally! One small step for a man, one giant leap for man-kind.
People are fond of criticising criticism of others' (or their own) works by asking "Can you do better?". However, if this logic were to hold, almost no one would be able to criticise others, and movie, film, art and book critics would be out of a job. People rarely criticise and say that they can do better - so why challenge them? It is the prerogative of the creator to do his best, and of the critic to criticise fairly.
I'm reaching the big 20 this year. Scary.
Quotes:
[Me on an Adidas Blue Spaghetti Strap Tank Top: $41.90 for this? This is extortionate. This is exorbitant.] Who says? It can help you attract more guys to pay for you.
[Me on the new book in / book out book: What we need is something tasteful.] Like Asian Prince. [Me: *laughs semi-hysterically*] [Someone else (in Chinese): In the future, don't make him laugh]
[Me: I saw this very stupid video] Porn [Me: What?]
If I get an MMS phone, it must have a digital camera. [Someone: Upskirts] It's not the upskirts. [Someone: Downblouse] It's not the downblouse.
Yaodong came to report sick and was prescribed an IV. Unfortunately, he didn't let the medic poke him, so the MO had to come in and screw him, then poke him. Later, when the bag of fluid ran out, one of the Senior Medics went to remove the catheter and poke him again, instead of changing the bag. Everybody loves screwing Yaodong.
The SAF has implemented a new directive - everyone will have only one shot at range every year. I guess they finally figured out why they were losing so much money every year, both from the rounds and the marksmanship money *g* I'm just waiting for all the units in the BUC list to find loopholes, though the rule does seem rather airtight. Too bad IPPT and SOC don't cost them any money :(
Dannie laminated his status slip - PES C9L2 Perm, Ex-Running, Ex-Jumping, Ex-Drill Perm. GAH.
On our last night off in the month of March, almost all of us went out together, and we met up with Junxiong and Ming Kiat on the shuttle bus. Half of us were agitating for Fish & Co, while the other half claimed they were broke, thus proving the truth of the maxim that when you go out in a group of more than 2, one person will always be broke. At first they wanted to go to Long John Silver's, but later they suddenly walked into Pizza Hut (Yeech!). In the end, the price wasn't much less than what it'd have been at Fish & Co. Oh well. I guess people only like what they are familiar with. Later, we saw Henry at NTUC. He looks a little different, but still has the dark circles under his eyes that make him look like a drug addict, albeit our favourite drug addict :)
Later, we were in NTUC stocking up on provisions and people were looking for material in magazines to decorate the new book in / book out book. And someone *had* to make an Asian Prince reference:
Me: What we need is something tasteful.
Boon Wei: Like Asian Prince.
Me: *laughs semi-hysterically*
Yong Siang (in Chinese): In the future, don't make him laugh
Why does everyone like to make bad Asian Prince references?
Boon Wei also suggested, jokingly, no doubt (alas!), that we use some autopsy pictures from April's FHM magazine.
So on Tuesday, while I was waiting to book out, they were decorating the new book in / book out book, splashing tasteless pictures of semi-naked females all over its covers. I was fuming in bunk, waiting for them to be done so I could book out, when Prakash suggested that we sign the book first, before they finished decorating it. Damn. Why didn't *I* think of that? Anyhow when we traipsed down to the medical centre, I found that there were actually 2 pictures of males - one of a digitally simulated Bruce Lee and another of a topless beng with a stereo who reminded me of Jason - on the book in / book out book, and many of the pictures weren't totally just tasteless, gratuitous displays of female flesh after all, so I retracted my implicit threat to take pictures from rotten.com, or of Asian Prince, and paste them all over the book.
In the end, when I booked in on Wednesday night, I found that the pictures of females had been removed and replaced with drawings, in black and white, of something I can't quite describe. They looked like a fusion of several American Indian Totemic Creatures, but they were quite defined and not splashes of paint and so were not modern art.
I wonder why my mother always sits in the car when my father fetches me to camp. Is it so that she can nag, scold and admonish me? It certainly seems so. Perhaps it makes her feel better to relate anecdotes of dubious origin to attempt to shame me.
The season for Qing Ming is here and traffic's a killer on weekend mornings, so going to camp then is a drag. There are so many people bustling around the normally empty area, and so many cars parked along the side of the road. For some reason, it reminds me of a Malaysian Farmer's Market.
There was this sick Taiwanese show on Channel i when I last did Sunday duty. There were these 4 Lian looking 18 or 19 year old girls, the flower of Taiwan's youth, all with rebonded hair and in very Lian outfits, who'd been rated by people on a panel, and 'judges' in the studio had to guess their ratings as accurately as possible, while the girls' heights and weights were displayed in a sidebar at the side of the screen (at least it wasn't their 'vital statistics'). Later, the girls had to go out into the streets of Taipei and see how many guys were willing to give them their phone numbers, and the one with the most numbers won. And to end off, the girls did a catwalk (Point of information: Of the 4, 1 was totally inept, and another not very good). All in all, it just seemed like an excuse for males to ogle at females. Which is why hormonally charged Singaporean males in NS like to watch it.
Hamtaro is really intolerable! The TV happened to be on Channel i, and these humans were having a picnic, and they were shaking their heads to and fro merrily while singing the Hamtaro theme. The sheer horror of that caused me to run shrieking, with my hands over my ears, into the documentation room to hide from the gruesome sight.
I realised that anorexic girls can't donate blood since the criteria is that the donor has to weigh more than 50kg. One more advantage of being anorexic!
There's this Roman Catholic Church Leader in the Philippines named Sin. So he's "Cardinal Sin". HAHAHAHA.
The Straits Times was interviewing this suicide-bomber-to-be and his name, as given by the PLO's military wing's leader as 'Mohamad'. Whee. So we have narrowed down his identity to being among the 75% of Muslim males called Mohammad.
I called M1's customer service and the person at the phone was a male. Finally! One small step for a man, one giant leap for man-kind.
People are fond of criticising criticism of others' (or their own) works by asking "Can you do better?". However, if this logic were to hold, almost no one would be able to criticise others, and movie, film, art and book critics would be out of a job. People rarely criticise and say that they can do better - so why challenge them? It is the prerogative of the creator to do his best, and of the critic to criticise fairly.
I'm reaching the big 20 this year. Scary.
Quotes:
[Me on an Adidas Blue Spaghetti Strap Tank Top: $41.90 for this? This is extortionate. This is exorbitant.] Who says? It can help you attract more guys to pay for you.
[Me on the new book in / book out book: What we need is something tasteful.] Like Asian Prince. [Me: *laughs semi-hysterically*] [Someone else (in Chinese): In the future, don't make him laugh]
[Me: I saw this very stupid video] Porn [Me: What?]
If I get an MMS phone, it must have a digital camera. [Someone: Upskirts] It's not the upskirts. [Someone: Downblouse] It's not the downblouse.
Post ID: 92087318
A Bit Of Earth
from The Secret Garden
Archibald:
A bit of earth
She wants a little bit of earth
She'll plant some seeds
The seeds will grow
The flowers bloom
But is their bounty
What she needs
How can she chance
To love a little bit of earth
Does she not know
The earth is old
And doesn't care if
One small girl wants things to grow
She needs a friend
She needs a father
Brother, sister
Mother's arms
She needs to laugh
She needs to dance
And learn to work
Her girlish charms
She needs a home
The only thing she really needs
I cannot give
Instead she asks
A bit of earth
To make it live
She should have a pony
Gallop 'cross the moor
She should have a doll's house
With a hundred rooms per floor
Why can't she ask for a treasure
Something that money can buy
That won't die
When i'd give her the world
She asks, instead
For some earth
A bit of earth
She wants a little bit of earth
She'll plant some seeds
The seeds will grow
The flowers bloom
Their beauty just the thing she needs
She'll grow to love the tender roses
Lilies fair, the iris tall
And then in fall, her bit of earth
Will freeze and kill them all
A bit of earth, a bit of earth
A bit of earth, a bit of earth
I'm rather pissed off that I can't find a version of this that *isn't* sung by Charlotte Church. Her style is too operatic and is rather disgusting. Or maybe I've been influenced by my sister.
from The Secret Garden
Archibald:
A bit of earth
She wants a little bit of earth
She'll plant some seeds
The seeds will grow
The flowers bloom
But is their bounty
What she needs
How can she chance
To love a little bit of earth
Does she not know
The earth is old
And doesn't care if
One small girl wants things to grow
She needs a friend
She needs a father
Brother, sister
Mother's arms
She needs to laugh
She needs to dance
And learn to work
Her girlish charms
She needs a home
The only thing she really needs
I cannot give
Instead she asks
A bit of earth
To make it live
She should have a pony
Gallop 'cross the moor
She should have a doll's house
With a hundred rooms per floor
Why can't she ask for a treasure
Something that money can buy
That won't die
When i'd give her the world
She asks, instead
For some earth
A bit of earth
She wants a little bit of earth
She'll plant some seeds
The seeds will grow
The flowers bloom
Their beauty just the thing she needs
She'll grow to love the tender roses
Lilies fair, the iris tall
And then in fall, her bit of earth
Will freeze and kill them all
A bit of earth, a bit of earth
A bit of earth, a bit of earth
I'm rather pissed off that I can't find a version of this that *isn't* sung by Charlotte Church. Her style is too operatic and is rather disgusting. Or maybe I've been influenced by my sister.
Post ID: 92086069
Due to Bunny's endless coercion, I have finally finished Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game.
The book is quite adult-oriented, yet still approachable.
The kids are so precocious (even more so than Bunny), so much so that it's simply unreal, and I have trouble accepting that an 11 year old boy can save the world.
The characters are mostly male, but then Battle School sounds like something males would be more oriented towards.
It's quite sad to see how the kids are force grow up as they exploit the urges of the little boys to play soldier. They effectively have no childhood, and many of them become vicious monsters.
Irritating/funny quotes:
"I can't do a weekly column," Valentine said. "I don't even have a monthly period yet." (...)
"Early to bed and early to rise," Mazer intoned, "makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes."
Finally, something from Melvin Tay Poh Huat that isn't porn!
http://cartoonfile.163.com/source/42532/lang.swf
The book is quite adult-oriented, yet still approachable.
The kids are so precocious (even more so than Bunny), so much so that it's simply unreal, and I have trouble accepting that an 11 year old boy can save the world.
The characters are mostly male, but then Battle School sounds like something males would be more oriented towards.
It's quite sad to see how the kids are force grow up as they exploit the urges of the little boys to play soldier. They effectively have no childhood, and many of them become vicious monsters.
Irritating/funny quotes:
"I can't do a weekly column," Valentine said. "I don't even have a monthly period yet." (...)
"Early to bed and early to rise," Mazer intoned, "makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes."
Finally, something from Melvin Tay Poh Huat that isn't porn!
http://cartoonfile.163.com/source/42532/lang.swf
Post ID: 92077832
Why do people like inane quizzes so much? Here's a short one for all of you compulsive quiz do-ers:
1. How many quizzes of this nature have you ever done?
2. Are you sure? I bet you've lost count, haven't you?
3. Do you plan to forward this to everyone you know (and not a few you don't) and spam their mailboxes? Naughty, aren't you!
4. How much of your time have you frilled away answering these inane questions that, in one form or another, repeat endlessly?
5. Do you think anyone really cares what underwear you are wearing right now, or how many ticks live on your dog?
6. Think of a number, any number
7. Think of another number
8. Now think what the point of that exercise was
9. Do you feel fulfilled now, after finishing this pointless quiz?
1. How many quizzes of this nature have you ever done?
2. Are you sure? I bet you've lost count, haven't you?
3. Do you plan to forward this to everyone you know (and not a few you don't) and spam their mailboxes? Naughty, aren't you!
4. How much of your time have you frilled away answering these inane questions that, in one form or another, repeat endlessly?
5. Do you think anyone really cares what underwear you are wearing right now, or how many ticks live on your dog?
6. Think of a number, any number
7. Think of another number
8. Now think what the point of that exercise was
9. Do you feel fulfilled now, after finishing this pointless quiz?
Post ID: 92066677
Banana Jr. Series Computer
The Banana computer was first introduced in 1984, and was labeled as "Jr." to emphasize its affordability. This obscure computer system had a number of innovative hardware and software features. Many of these features were too far ahead of its time, and it had many shortcomings which ultimately doomed it to failure.
Notable features included:
* A fully graphical operating environment.
* A powerful word processing, spreadsheet, and management package.
* Powerful 32-bit CPU.
Speech recognition.
* User friendly interactive AI interface.
The shortcomings included:
* Some assembly was was required by end users. (Quite a bit of assembly actually)
* Reportedly the documentation for the 9000 model was shipped with the 6000 model causing some confusion.
* The interactive AI was very uncooperative. (This AI is now being used by Microsoft in Windows XP)
Problems with the self-portability features were suspected, but never proven, to be the cause of Banana Jr. owners often finding their kitchen appliances lying in front of their living room televisions.
The Banana Computer Company went out of business in April of 1985. Reportedly it was a painful demise for the company, losing $319 million in march alone. The chairman of the board did a swan dive out of a 63rd floor window after painting "capitalism sucks" across his chest. The brains behind the design of the Banana Jr. , Berke Breathed, reportedly went insane and became a cartoonist. The Banana Jr. was discontinued and the platform abandoned...
Read more...
Post ID: 92046648
◊◊ Things Computers Can Do In Movies ◊◊
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
6. Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard.
8. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)
9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.
10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)
11. All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards.
12. People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.
13. A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.
14. You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)
15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.
16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.
18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").
19. If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
20. Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)
21. Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.
22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".)
23. Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.
24. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.
25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.
26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001")
27. Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" an 3 results are returned.)
...author unknown.
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
6. Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard.
8. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)
9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.
10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)
11. All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards.
12. People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.
13. A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.
14. You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)
15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.
16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.
18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").
19. If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
20. Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)
21. Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.
22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".)
23. Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.
24. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.
25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.
26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001")
27. Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" an 3 results are returned.)
...author unknown.
Post ID: 92045949
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