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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

"A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance." - Anatole France


I've a theory about frigid girls and chocolate. Chocolate tends to induce reactions in them that are much stronger than in non-frigid girls. This is one reason they can cope with frigidity.

As usual, my data collection was fraught with objections, complaints and other hiccups, but I persevered.

So far I've found 3 Frigid girls who have unnaturally strong reactions to chocolate, and only 1 who is ambivalent towards it. I also found 1 un-Frigid girl who has an unnaturally strong reaction to chocolate, but as all good logicians know:

1) A -> B
2) B
C) A

is the fallacy of affirming the consequent.

I must note at this juncture that the definition of frigidity is quite specific, referring to asexuality.

Also, all but one of the non-Frigid girls (at least 8, but I think I found 11 or 12) I've found are ambivalent to chocolate. Although this is not a deductive proof, it is at least reasonably strong inductive proof for the theory.

I was very touched by a fellow researcher who understood the pain of data frustration (gathering and analysing data): 'Er i dun eat chocs and i dun get orgasms. Hope it helps in your data collection'. Later this individual clarified that she meant it in the plural, so she fit in with my dataset after all.

One individual, though refusing to give a straight answer, pointed out that: 'U see those highly sex charged valley girls, they all seem to eat choc as an aphrodisiac lar...'. So maybe it's just the Singapore dataset.

One common objection was raised to my theory, most poetically composed by Noodles: 'U obviously havent shagged enough specimens'. My reply was that this is why I should go into academia, since I'm all theory and no practice. Besides which, lack of personal experience is not necessarily a crippling factor. It might be if I were giving instruction on the finer points of what one can do with one's fingers, but in this case, there are many modes of epistemology; as with How Girls Waste Time: observation, research, interviews and contributions. Indeed, I can argue that the lack of personal context gives me a detached view that aids my research - How Girls Waste Time wouldn't be half as long if I were female. I'm also following in the fine footsteps of Doctor Love!

If all this sounds dodgy, hey, at least it's more empirically grounded than the Reagan-Laffer curve, and I did more research for this than the "Girls who like Jap guys who look like girls are ugly" theory.


someone: i think there is a cultural angle to your chocolate thing. british girls seem to be much more emotional about chocolate than girls in other parts of the world... not sure if the chocolate fixation is more a western thing.]
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