- The risk of divorce after living together is 40 to 85% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together. In other words, those who live together before marriage are almost twice as likely to divorce than those who did not live together (Bumpass & Sweet 1995; Hall & Zhao 1995; Bracher, Santow, Morgan & Russell 1993; DeMaris & Rao 1992 and Glen 1990).
- If a couple abstains from sex before marriage, they are 29 to 47% more likely to enjoy sex afterward than those who cohabit . Sexual satisfaction rises considerably more after marriage (Hering 1994:4). More women cohabit than men, but men are more likely to cohabit serially (Bumpass & Sweet 1989; Teachman & Polanko 1990).
- Cohabiting women have rates of depression 3 times higher than married women (National Institute for Mental Health).
- Four out of every 10 cohabiting couples have children present and of children born to cohabiting couples, only 4 out of 10 will see their parents marry. Those who do marry experience a 50% higher divorce rate (Horn 1998).
- Marriage is the social glue that bonds fathers to their offspring. When marriage and fatherhood come unglued, father involvement weakens, with many dads disconnecting completely from their children.
He concludes: "If you are currently cohabiting with your partner, I urge you to get out of your comfort zone and signup for couple counseling or a marriage preparation course. You both deserve better then this."
Since my Han-inspired comment was so long, I decided to post it here:
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Benjamin Disraeli
I suspect spurious correlation.
In any case, most of the people who are committed will get married in the first place, rather than cohabitate. Thus, if you do not control for initial levels of commitment, the statistic doesn't mean very much. It's just like a study that shows that blacks are paid less than whites - neglecting to mention that 90% of the blacks in the study are poor and lowly educated. In fact, controlling for education, blacks earn as much as or more than whites, so one cannot conclude that they are discriminated against/dumber/less able. Of course, commitment is a hard thing to measure, but this is an important thing to remember. Other things to control for are attitudes to divorce (those willing to cohabitate are more likely to be willing to consider divorce in the first place) and past marriages (some cohabiters have been divorced before, which is why they distrust marriage).
Furthermore, why is divorce a bad thing? Staying in a loveless marriage just because you are married does a great injustice to both parties. In fact, staying married for the sake of the children might be worse if the parents hate or abuse each other. Far better to grow up in a loving single-parent household.
Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a system meant to promote love, commitment and a conducive environment for child rearing (if you are so inclined). If cohabitation can provide that - why not? Furthermore, signing a piece of paper does not prove commitment; any idiot can sign a contract, but to live up to it - without any chains holding him down to boot - is a true sign of commitment.
"I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married." - Queen Elizabeth I
Incidentally, polygyny was practised and endorsed by many renowned Old Testament figures. It was polyandry (with everything else) that they denounced as vile and practised by beasts.
