"The happiest place on earth"

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Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Melvin has been put on the Unit Fitness Program as well, and his weight is also being monitored. I think this is really unfair, because unlike me, his BMI is only slightly above 25. Hell, many regulars are fatter than him. The sin that got him into this? Failing SOC. And in his case, I don't think 5BX, UFP or losing 500g of weight is going to help him any bit.

To build up our arm power, our CSM has decreed that all those in the UFP have to perform a certain exercise, which I shall describe shortly, three times a day - during 5BX, at 11:45 and at 5:00. The exercise involves a full water bottle and a stick, to which a length of comms cord is tied. The water bottle is tied to the comms cord, and we hold the stick out at chest level and turn it till the bottle is pulled up to reach the stick. How effective this is in training our pull-up ability, I don't know, but it can't be very much so.

We had a familiarisation shoot with the SAR 21. I was tired from UFP, 5BX, Company Runs, Overtime done to produce useless, superfluous, unnecessarily detailed statistics and such and only got 2/10 for one round. But there were others who got 1/10 or 0/10 :0

The flurry of activity in the SAF with regards to safety is useless. At the top levels, committees are convening and reviews are underway. People are coming down to check safety procedures more often. At at ground level, we are forced to implement more useless measures for show - for example, signing more forms so higher-ups are covered and taking ridiculously-easy tests on Training Safety Regulations (as if knowing the regulations means you'll follow them). Regardless of the final result, all they are doing is trying to ameliorate the symptoms and not attacking the root of the problem - the culture of the SAF. A culture which prizes rank over ability and intelligence. A culture of fear and regimentation. A culture which discourages thinking and encourages the blind following of orders, no matter how brainless or immoral. Ultimately, the culture and tradition, built up over 36 years, of an unnecessary conscription which enslaves the flower of our youth and proceeds to dehumanise them.

We shifted our bunks for the 2nd time in 5 months. And supposedly we're due to shift again in February. How gloriously efficient. When we moved in, our new bunk was dirty as hell. The areas under the beds looked like they'd been unswept for months. There were cigarettes strewn all around the bunk, giving me the impression that it was the 3rd smoking point on the 4th floor of HQ Company. There was hair everywhere, even in the drawers, leading us to suspect people had moonlighted as barbers. And all the tables and chairs were filthy. On the bright side, our new bunk is more spacious, having 4 fewer cupboards and 4 fewer beds and both fans are working so it is less hot, stuffy, humid and smelly, especially at night. Alvin is no longer sleeping with us, having shifted to another bunk, so we are no longer treated daily to the sight of the Television tuned to Chinese-dubbed anime like Card Captor Sakura at 6am in the morning, something I think we all hated but didn't have the heart to stop.

It seems I'm being arrowed incessantly for duty. This month I've done 2 weekends and 2 weekdays. I better not get *any* duty next month.

A puzzle I've been pondering over for a while: There are no Muslims in my unit, so why do we ALWAYS get Muslim Combat Rations when we go outfield?! I miss the pasta!

They have this "Positive NS Experience" dialogue coming up and apparently all those who have no complaints about NS and are generally going are happy. I want to go too, but they'll never send me. Oh well, I suppose the name of the thing says it all - they want to hear about Positive Experiences, so they can continue being deluded.

The organiser of our Games Day told us to be there at 7:45am. Our CRO (Company Routine Orders) told us to be there at 7:30am. And then our CSM brought the time back to 7:15am after that. In the end we waited till 7:45am for everyone to come anyway, and people like me had to drag themselves out of bed before 6 to reach Pasir Ris Park in time. "Rush to wait, wait to rush" indeed. What a waste of time.

During the Games Day we had Tug Of War, last held about a year ago. As usual, HQ won since we've all the fat people (though girth and tug of war ability are not exactly proportional). And as usual, we didn't win, even though we've the most people. We also got to vote on a new battalion T-shirt, in a typically inefficient SAF fashion, involving everyone in the battalion lining up behind their chosen design, resulting in indistinct lines and general pandemonium. The design that won overwhelmingly was one with a - get this - white horse (representing a "Bronco") on it. So 3 years after the White Horse system was scrapped in the SAF, we will have a whole battalion of White Horses!


I remember when Bayesian filtering first came out, people were crowing about how spam was finally defeated, since spammers rely on the contents of their emails to peddle their wares, and Bayesian filtering targets those very contents. Sadly, it seems spammers are wising up, and are either substituting funny characters for real letters (eg p0rn), breaking up or merging keywords (eg V-I-A-G-R-A, ParisHilton), adding nonsensical words into their message bodies (eg lqfnjiavljloianx, vkffrzy) or embedding images of their ads instead of having them in text form.

Brainless motivational poster: "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your mind off your goals". That might be the case, but whether or not you see them, obstacles are there. Burying your head in the sand like an ostrich is not going to make the obstacles go away. Isn't it better for you to proceed, aware of the obstacles and thus able to avoid or overcome them than proceed on like an over-optimistic, fool misled by too many motivational posters?

I think "Are You Hot?" marks a new low in Reality TV. Make that non-pornographic Reality TV, for I think Voyeur Dorm is at the next level. It's all wrestling's fault, I say, but at least in the WWE, they admit that it's scripted.

Me: Why do people watch wrestling if it's scripted?
Friend: Because the script is good.


Quotes:

42 loves you. [Me: If that is love, I don't want to know what hate is]

[On my troubles] I know it's painful lah, but what can we do? This is 42.

[Sign] Secular Engineering & Construction Pte Ltd

[On why Koi have reappeared in the RSM's pond] 42 is going downhill.

[On SIB - Special Investigation Branch - monitoring my blog] Wah. SIB must be very fun.

I am the Master Of Office. Don't doubt me.

You all have been briefted on how to do the clicking right. (briefed)

Where's the "Army Dream Girl?" [Someone: She's there what. *points to one side*]

[On our compiling useless, superfluous, unnecessarily detailed statistics] Does he also want to know whether they like cheese burgers or veggies burgers?

[On calling someone] Hi Sir, I'm at Ponderosa now, eating [a] buffet. [Me: Eating Ice Cream] What can you do about it?


Quote of the Day:

"Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum" (Lucretius, On The Nature Of Things)


Rejected Economist Letters (the identity of the person shall remain a mystery, to protect his identity):

Sir,

I protest against the comment that "Malaysia is probably now the most repressive country in non-communist South-East Asia, after Myanmar" (After Mahathir, Oct 30th). South of the border, there is at least one non-communist country which has almost no public demonstrations to speak of ( bar the occasional noisemaker in front of the Istana ); has no independent local mass media ( the government has the controlling stakes in both the big media companies); whose unions are led by government ministers; continues to use basically the same laws that Malaysia has to place people under arbitrary arrest- and indeed, has an even smaller opposition presence in parliament than its neighbour. When it comes to being "repressive", my country surely wins hands down. Perhaps Dr Mahathir did have a point about western media bias after all.
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