Word of the day: "sematic" (not semantic, dis donc)
My recent congressus cum diaboli has had an interesting coda (mayhaps an antistrophe?) - I received a phone call from Merril Lynch HR people proffering me more job details. Now, the conversation that followed was the most fucked up career-search dialogue I've ever had, managing to edge out even the hypocritical GIC interview in 2002 for top spot.
Was interviewed by two people (as evinced by the jagged bursts of white noise every few seconds) - a nasal-voiced woman who just *sounds* like she has Vicks Vaporub all over her nostrils (some kinaesthesia effect of the speakerphone?) and a snooty, but tired-sounding man.
Towards the end of the conversation, I could not resist and made a sudden lunge across the table (tearing some pelvic muscle in the process) to get a notepad and pencil to capture for posterity some of the corncucopia of Human Resource gems flowing from these two people.
Highlights
Female: "Currently there's no set career path progression for client support officers within merrilll lynch although we hope to have one soon."
Female: "You will be rotated among a pool of front line financial consultants - some of them may be willing to mentor you and help you progress but most prefer a more hands off approach where you stick to the administrative and operational work."
Female: "Usually it takes up to 4-6 years before we can consider transferring you to other divisions."
Male: "There will be times when you have to sit in on behalf of the financial consultants at sales talks and market briefings to take notes while they're overseas talking to their clients. Don't worry, you're not expected to understand it."
Male: "You can probably pick up everything about this job within 1 year."
Female: "Not a lot of analytical thought is required; it's mostly processing and administrative support."
Female: "We're not trying to dissuade you from taking up a position with us."
Male: "Your current job sounds far more interesting than what we're offering."
And finally, the crème de la crème. The pièce de résistance:
Female: "You may have to run personal errands on behalf of the manager you're assigned to."
Me: "Like helping them photocopy documents or send mail?"
Female: "More like collecting laundry."
Long pause followed, as I struggled to maintain the principles of inner balance and the Ni To Ichi Way of Strategy which held me back from screaming over the phone, "YOU NEARLY CAUSED ME TO CRASH INTO FIERY AUTOMOTIVE DEATH DUE TO DRIVING AT BREAKNECK SPEED (again) BY TO GET HOME EARLY AND PREPARE FOR THIS BECAUSE YOU SCHEDULED A PHONE INTERVIEW AT THIS FUCKED UP HOUR AND YOU COME HERE AND SPEW THIS SHIT TO ME????"
Male (interjecting helpfully): "Not all the managers will expect you to do things like this, of course."
*fatalistically* At the end I ramped up my "expected pay" quotation to SGD$3800 and asked for a relocation allowance. They politely responded that they had some other candidates to consider and they would get back to me on that.
At least I can tell people that I told m. lynch to go fuck itself.
In light of my recent attempt at an unholy pact with the Adversary in exchange for a job, I've come up with several possible theological implications, all unpleasant.
a) Satan/Lucifer/Belial/Asmodeus/Shaitan/Old Nick/Sammael ("The Bad Guy") isn't as powerful as YHWH, the He who is called I Am, the Alpha and the Omega, the Lord of Hosts ("The Man"), who has righteously struck down my job search with His mighty hand. Fuck. This might be a prelude to more smiting ahead.
b) The Bad Guy has withdrawn his offer because I haven't stumped up enough on my end; maybe I have to explicitly sign some kind of legal documentation promising my eternal soul - but despite all the DIY instructions from Saint Cyprian's book or the Key of Solomon and wasting lot of paint and (other people's) bodily fluids, I haven't been able to contact Him directly or any of His authorised agents to finalise the details.
Alternately He might require a few more goats, souls, or old Transformers figurines; but I can't afford goats, no one will lend me souls, and I'm NOT parting with my Optimus Prime. Immortal soul, yes. First-edition Red Optimus Prime, no.
c) The Bad Guy is as unwilling as The Man when it comes to providing any form of earthly gratification; probably because the former knows that what passes for my immortal soul is already a done deal, so why pay for what's already yours?
And as for the latter, what can you expect from Someone who created a whole species of flawed beings, regularly ships them to an eternity of suffering in fire for falling prey to the myriad natural flaws He built into them, and, to top it off, allowed them to literally nail His only begotten Son's ass to the wall?
(Angst intermezzo: My only actual conversation with God (whether literal, hallucinated, paraphrased, or otherwise, you decide for yourself.
As the Lord said to me once: "In you the seed of Adam is doubly shamed. And all the laws
of life defiled. Yet even such a soul as yours may yet be saved by true repentance. Foreswear your sins and return to My fold. And all will be as new again, all sins forgiven, all wrongs undone. This is your final path to forgiveness."
To Him I said, "I am what You have made me. So be it."
And I refused to kneel.)
d) The Bad Guy is as impotent as The Man when it comes to providing any form of earthly gratification - either by virtue of non-existence (Dammit! The atheists were right! So much for "friendly agnosticism"...) or some unfathomable restraints on their miracle-dispensing ("rules of the game") - and that my fate is totally in my own dysfunctional, incompetent hands - ie. I'm screwed.
e) It's all part of some subtle, morally inscrutable, ineffable (that lovely word which Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett use to great effect in Good Omens, one of the greatest pieces of eschatological writing extant) plan by either The Man or The Bad Guy (at this tessellated level of causation it doesn't really matter Who's responsible) and anything I do or say is simply a manifestation of being a pawn slid across a giant gameboard - and the whole pact concept is moot; pawns aren't in a position to negotiate.
AAAGGHH.
And, yes, Gabriel, if you could get me a new job we could work out a reasonable veneration-for-employment-assistance deal of sorts. However, an acceptable job would have to be *way* superior to the pretty low benchmark (mondo understatement) the above has set.
L'origine de Bert
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Word of the day: "velleity"
Was having a conversation with religious friend: "I've been praying like fuck for a new job." (Lots of bizarrre conversations lately. Must be the influence of all the movies -
I've watched Van Helsing, House of Sand & Fog, Starsky & Hutch, Secret Window, Jiang Hu, Doraemon: The Movie and Kill Bill Vol 2 in the space of 2 weeks)
Religious friend: "Yes, but who've you been praying TO?"
Me: "Anyone who'll get me a new job."
That conversation got me thinking.
So I stole 2 metal "6"s and a "9" from the 16th and 19th floor lift lobbies of my office and, on my cubicle wall, have put up a 666 in front of a picture of the X-(Wo)man Phoenix in flames (her flame wreathed face looks out through the circle in the middle 6). This was to pledge my allegiance to the Lord of Darkness, the Adversary, the Prince of Lies, etc etc. if he will get me a new job.
As I told my friend when semi-legally manipulating profits for the bank last quarter: "Morality doesn't matter when you're already in Hell."
*disingenuous shrug*
Well, one thing i'm certain of, it's not Heaven.
Had a phone interview with Merill Lynch about a week after the 666.
And this new babe joined my department recently. She's hot, and it's ironic that she's the most bimbotic and sexual of the new recruits, but also the smartest and the most hard-working.
While showing me her tattoo, I asked her "do you spit or swallow?" (the question came about naturally in the course of conversation - as I said, I have weird conversations)
She answered: "I only swallow for those guys I like, and I don't like you that much. Yet."
Is that a good sign? Do I have to break out canine/goat/human sacrifice to get the Infernal One to stump up more largesse?
But basically all of this potentially demonstrates that I've been looking to the wrong deity/pantheon/alignment for support all this while.
In any event:
a) Absolutely nothing to lose (immortal soul? HAH!)
b) If I'd known consorting with Ye Powers of Darknesse could have such a demonstrably positive effect on my life, I'd have done so ages ago.
c) Besides, God might make a counter-offer. Hopefully it'll be a meaningful one that doesn't involve renunciation, penance, suffering, or post-mortem salvation. I want the goods NOW!
Was having a conversation with religious friend: "I've been praying like fuck for a new job." (Lots of bizarrre conversations lately. Must be the influence of all the movies -
I've watched Van Helsing, House of Sand & Fog, Starsky & Hutch, Secret Window, Jiang Hu, Doraemon: The Movie and Kill Bill Vol 2 in the space of 2 weeks)
Religious friend: "Yes, but who've you been praying TO?"
Me: "Anyone who'll get me a new job."
That conversation got me thinking.
So I stole 2 metal "6"s and a "9" from the 16th and 19th floor lift lobbies of my office and, on my cubicle wall, have put up a 666 in front of a picture of the X-(Wo)man Phoenix in flames (her flame wreathed face looks out through the circle in the middle 6). This was to pledge my allegiance to the Lord of Darkness, the Adversary, the Prince of Lies, etc etc. if he will get me a new job.
As I told my friend when semi-legally manipulating profits for the bank last quarter: "Morality doesn't matter when you're already in Hell."
*disingenuous shrug*
Well, one thing i'm certain of, it's not Heaven.
Had a phone interview with Merill Lynch about a week after the 666.
And this new babe joined my department recently. She's hot, and it's ironic that she's the most bimbotic and sexual of the new recruits, but also the smartest and the most hard-working.
While showing me her tattoo, I asked her "do you spit or swallow?" (the question came about naturally in the course of conversation - as I said, I have weird conversations)
She answered: "I only swallow for those guys I like, and I don't like you that much. Yet."
Is that a good sign? Do I have to break out canine/goat/human sacrifice to get the Infernal One to stump up more largesse?
But basically all of this potentially demonstrates that I've been looking to the wrong deity/pantheon/alignment for support all this while.
In any event:
a) Absolutely nothing to lose (immortal soul? HAH!)
b) If I'd known consorting with Ye Powers of Darknesse could have such a demonstrably positive effect on my life, I'd have done so ages ago.
c) Besides, God might make a counter-offer. Hopefully it'll be a meaningful one that doesn't involve renunciation, penance, suffering, or post-mortem salvation. I want the goods NOW!
Post ID: 108438128442708423
Since Gabriel is still in semi-Achaean mode - well, I was talking to a friend about the Odyssey.
I commented: "Fucking odysseus gets to wander the mediterranean for years fucking Callisto (Later realised it was Calypso, not Callisto. Callisto was one of Zeus' dryad bitches) and Circe, while Penelope has to sit in her room and weave just to keep the chee hong bastards out of her bed."
Friend: "WHAT?? Odysseus slept around?"
Me: "Didn't you read the book?"
He showed me the book he had read - it was a sanitised, Penguin-for-children's book.
Me: "NEVER FUCKING READ ABRIDGED TEXTS!!"
My friend (staunch Christian) took it very personally. In fact he sms-ed me yesterday: "let's go watch troy and see that bastard odysseus.
I commented: "Fucking odysseus gets to wander the mediterranean for years fucking Callisto (Later realised it was Calypso, not Callisto. Callisto was one of Zeus' dryad bitches) and Circe, while Penelope has to sit in her room and weave just to keep the chee hong bastards out of her bed."
Friend: "WHAT?? Odysseus slept around?"
Me: "Didn't you read the book?"
He showed me the book he had read - it was a sanitised, Penguin-for-children's book.
Me: "NEVER FUCKING READ ABRIDGED TEXTS!!"
My friend (staunch Christian) took it very personally. In fact he sms-ed me yesterday: "let's go watch troy and see that bastard odysseus.
Post ID: 108438078197251371
Interesting conversation of the day:
My colleague reza came up to me and asked me: "how old were you when you stopped buying toys?"
me: "erm. last year i bought some lego. does that count?"
reza: "was it duplo?"
me (giving frosty stare): "if you must know, it was technics. i was trying the programming module thing with a friend. anyway, why do you ask?"
reza: "you know the Anduril?"
me: "yeah, aragorn's sword. narsil reforged."
reza: "anyway, when LoTR first came out, i saw an anduril for sale at toys' r us. it makes clanging sounds when you press one button and swishing sounds when you press another. when i first saw it, i wanted to buy it, but i hesitated. then the next time i went back there, it was gone."
me: "riiight"
reza: "anyway, my wife saw one for sale the other day and.."
me: "your wife knows you want to buy a toy sword?"
reza: "my wife supports my lunacy, yes."
me: "well it's your money."
reza: "so anyway, i bought the sword, and i brought it back and was playing with hakim (his 2 year old son). hakim can really grab, and he was brandishing the sword and clicking the buttons."
me: "and what did your wife say?"
reza: "well, she played with the sword too"
me: "... there are so many bad inneundos i can make about your wife playing with your sword. and pressing the buttons to make your sword go swoosh and clang."
reza: "yeah man. Who's your Elessar, huh? Who's your Elessar!!!"
me: "you just spoiled my masturbation session for the day."
reza: "anyway, i was thinking of buying stinger for hakim.."
me: (doing bazooka motions with hand)
reza: "no lah! the sword the hobbit uses!"
me: "OH. Sting! well, that's a good idea. you can spar with your kid. teach him the Jedi code."
reza: "it's not a lightsaber"
me: "semantics. anyway, you get the point, teach your kids to fight evil, show them that sometimes one must take the sword to fight, not out of sadism, but out of sad necessity. and that sometimes some problems can only be solved by steadfastly chopping off someone's head."
reza: "yeah.. that way when he hits kindergarden instead of bothering me with: "da, someone bully me" it'll be, "da, can i borrow your sword?". That's upbringing, man. and i can teach him and his sister (three years old) to fight evil together as siblings!"
me: "Anyway, i just want you to know i wholeheartedly support you still buying a toy for youself as this age. *pauses* aren't you glad you came to me for affirmation instead of someone normal?"
My colleague reza came up to me and asked me: "how old were you when you stopped buying toys?"
me: "erm. last year i bought some lego. does that count?"
reza: "was it duplo?"
me (giving frosty stare): "if you must know, it was technics. i was trying the programming module thing with a friend. anyway, why do you ask?"
reza: "you know the Anduril?"
me: "yeah, aragorn's sword. narsil reforged."
reza: "anyway, when LoTR first came out, i saw an anduril for sale at toys' r us. it makes clanging sounds when you press one button and swishing sounds when you press another. when i first saw it, i wanted to buy it, but i hesitated. then the next time i went back there, it was gone."
me: "riiight"
reza: "anyway, my wife saw one for sale the other day and.."
me: "your wife knows you want to buy a toy sword?"
reza: "my wife supports my lunacy, yes."
me: "well it's your money."
reza: "so anyway, i bought the sword, and i brought it back and was playing with hakim (his 2 year old son). hakim can really grab, and he was brandishing the sword and clicking the buttons."
me: "and what did your wife say?"
reza: "well, she played with the sword too"
me: "... there are so many bad inneundos i can make about your wife playing with your sword. and pressing the buttons to make your sword go swoosh and clang."
reza: "yeah man. Who's your Elessar, huh? Who's your Elessar!!!"
me: "you just spoiled my masturbation session for the day."
reza: "anyway, i was thinking of buying stinger for hakim.."
me: (doing bazooka motions with hand)
reza: "no lah! the sword the hobbit uses!"
me: "OH. Sting! well, that's a good idea. you can spar with your kid. teach him the Jedi code."
reza: "it's not a lightsaber"
me: "semantics. anyway, you get the point, teach your kids to fight evil, show them that sometimes one must take the sword to fight, not out of sadism, but out of sad necessity. and that sometimes some problems can only be solved by steadfastly chopping off someone's head."
reza: "yeah.. that way when he hits kindergarden instead of bothering me with: "da, someone bully me" it'll be, "da, can i borrow your sword?". That's upbringing, man. and i can teach him and his sister (three years old) to fight evil together as siblings!"
me: "Anyway, i just want you to know i wholeheartedly support you still buying a toy for youself as this age. *pauses* aren't you glad you came to me for affirmation instead of someone normal?"
Post ID: 108438058574571417
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
The Riddle of the Self by Feliks Mikhailov - "The book you are now coming to the end of has been entirely devoted to how the problem of the human soul, of consciousness has been posed throughout the history of man's knowledge of himself. We have seen that the essence of the problem does not lie in whether the human brain is capable or incapable of reacting to external influences. The essence of it is why and how a human being can know the essence of things that exist outside him... quite simply, the problem of creativity."
For a long life, choose prose not poetry- "On average, poets lived 62 years, playwrights 63 years, novelists 66 years, and non-fiction writers lived 68 years... Female poets were much more likely to suffer from mental illness (eg, be hospitalised, commit suicide, attempt suicide) than any other kind of writer, and more likely than other eminent women... I've dubbed this the 'Sylvia Plath effect'."
Brahms the Freethinker - "He wrote the popular Ein deutsches Requiem (A German Requiem, 1867), but was careful to select only those biblical lyrics that relate to this life and to those who grieve. The Requiem starts with 'Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted,' and avoids talk of eternal salvation... With the title A German Requiem he intended to convey that this is not the liturgical requiem mass in Latin, nor a German translation of it, but a personal testament, a requiem. Brahms avoided dogma in the piece for the same reason . . . even if the words come from the Bible, this was his response to death as a secular, skeptical, modern man."
Heartless Bitches International
The Heartless Manifesto
Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)
Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?
Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?
Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?
Does the sight of an incredibly handsome man turn you off, cause so many of them have room-temperature IQ's, and obnoxious or non-existent personalities?
Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?
Are you fed up with women who feel they HAVE to be in a "Relationship" in order to be whole, and will sacrifice their self-esteem and personal growth in order to avoid being on their own?
Are you tired of men and women who are emotional children, and won't accept responsibility for their actions or behavior?
Do you want to SMACK women who play "helpless" just to gain male attention and stroke male egos?
Have you run out of sympathy for your Female friends who continually whine about how awful MEN ARE, but then they keep dating the same kind of ASSHOLES, over and OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!?
Are you fed up with your Male friends who are looking to date a woman with the appearance of a supermodel, and yet they continually whine about how "women don't like nice guys - they only want good-looking assholes"???
Do the words "If you REALLY loved me...." turn your heart to ice??!!!
Do you retch in response to "The Rules", and laugh uproariously at "The Code"?
Have you HAD IT with people telling you that you are TOO LOUD, TOO ASSERTIVE, or TOO OPINIONATED?
Do you wish you had a button that said: "Thank you for sharing, now SHUT UP and quit Whining!" ????
Do you ever get tired of those whiners and their online "journals"? Or the guys who hit on you and you politely decline, and they keep pestering you and pestering you, and pestering you like some obnoxious, festering, pus-filled sore, until you finally have to WHAP them over the head with a VERY LARGE CLUE-BY-FOUR (tm)....?
Do you feel like you might as well "get hung for a sheep as a lamb", because no matter how POLITELY you try to turn down some guy's advances, you invariably get called a "Bitch"?
If you answered YES to all of the above, then Heartless Bitches International wants YOU. Heartless Bitches is now recruiting! Join up and be proud to use phrases like:
"Keep it in your pants, asshole"
"Oh why don't you just masturbate and get over it!?"
"No, you can't watch."
"Wah, fuckin', Wah."
Search referrals:
sports bra raffles girls - They're not very interesting since they're limited to 3 colours.
sexiest RJC girls
+"zao geng" +rape - When you're raped you don't zaogeng. It's not in the definition.
islamic sheer stockings - ???
+"nanyang girls" +sleeveless - Are there any other sort?
free calls from starhub prepaid hack
lyrics "you touch my tralala" - I am the top result for this. Haha
Sar-vivor Rap legal download - I don't think Gurmit Singh bothers collecting royalties. It's a "community" project after all.
sexy rgs girl - Some would say that is an oxymoron.
scgs cramps uniform - It gives cramps? Too tight, maybe?
iraq heart & minds picturs - Picturs (sic) of people's hearts and minds?
"licking method" sex
r@ygold internet codes explained - They have codes for that?
thoughtless breakups sex pictures
revealing acjc photos
" Quoting Liberals " - Beats quoting conservatives.
power rangers 1991 morphers - MMPR started in 1993!
SCGS uniform
SCGS bitch - I'm the top result for both of these search queries. Why am I so disturbed?
Pictures of HDB Rubbish Bin - People look for weird things.
nus-girls - Hahaha.
For a long life, choose prose not poetry- "On average, poets lived 62 years, playwrights 63 years, novelists 66 years, and non-fiction writers lived 68 years... Female poets were much more likely to suffer from mental illness (eg, be hospitalised, commit suicide, attempt suicide) than any other kind of writer, and more likely than other eminent women... I've dubbed this the 'Sylvia Plath effect'."
Brahms the Freethinker - "He wrote the popular Ein deutsches Requiem (A German Requiem, 1867), but was careful to select only those biblical lyrics that relate to this life and to those who grieve. The Requiem starts with 'Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted,' and avoids talk of eternal salvation... With the title A German Requiem he intended to convey that this is not the liturgical requiem mass in Latin, nor a German translation of it, but a personal testament, a requiem. Brahms avoided dogma in the piece for the same reason . . . even if the words come from the Bible, this was his response to death as a secular, skeptical, modern man."
Heartless Bitches International
The Heartless Manifesto
Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)
Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?
Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?
Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?
Does the sight of an incredibly handsome man turn you off, cause so many of them have room-temperature IQ's, and obnoxious or non-existent personalities?
Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?
Are you fed up with women who feel they HAVE to be in a "Relationship" in order to be whole, and will sacrifice their self-esteem and personal growth in order to avoid being on their own?
Are you tired of men and women who are emotional children, and won't accept responsibility for their actions or behavior?
Do you want to SMACK women who play "helpless" just to gain male attention and stroke male egos?
Have you run out of sympathy for your Female friends who continually whine about how awful MEN ARE, but then they keep dating the same kind of ASSHOLES, over and OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!?
Are you fed up with your Male friends who are looking to date a woman with the appearance of a supermodel, and yet they continually whine about how "women don't like nice guys - they only want good-looking assholes"???
Do the words "If you REALLY loved me...." turn your heart to ice??!!!
Do you retch in response to "The Rules", and laugh uproariously at "The Code"?
Have you HAD IT with people telling you that you are TOO LOUD, TOO ASSERTIVE, or TOO OPINIONATED?
Do you wish you had a button that said: "Thank you for sharing, now SHUT UP and quit Whining!" ????
Do you ever get tired of those whiners and their online "journals"? Or the guys who hit on you and you politely decline, and they keep pestering you and pestering you, and pestering you like some obnoxious, festering, pus-filled sore, until you finally have to WHAP them over the head with a VERY LARGE CLUE-BY-FOUR (tm)....?
Do you feel like you might as well "get hung for a sheep as a lamb", because no matter how POLITELY you try to turn down some guy's advances, you invariably get called a "Bitch"?
If you answered YES to all of the above, then Heartless Bitches International wants YOU. Heartless Bitches is now recruiting! Join up and be proud to use phrases like:
"Keep it in your pants, asshole"
"Oh why don't you just masturbate and get over it!?"
"No, you can't watch."
"Wah, fuckin', Wah."
Search referrals:
sports bra raffles girls - They're not very interesting since they're limited to 3 colours.
sexiest RJC girls
+"zao geng" +rape - When you're raped you don't zaogeng. It's not in the definition.
islamic sheer stockings - ???
+"nanyang girls" +sleeveless - Are there any other sort?
free calls from starhub prepaid hack
lyrics "you touch my tralala" - I am the top result for this. Haha
Sar-vivor Rap legal download - I don't think Gurmit Singh bothers collecting royalties. It's a "community" project after all.
sexy rgs girl - Some would say that is an oxymoron.
scgs cramps uniform - It gives cramps? Too tight, maybe?
iraq heart & minds picturs - Picturs (sic) of people's hearts and minds?
"licking method" sex
r@ygold internet codes explained - They have codes for that?
thoughtless breakups sex pictures
revealing acjc photos
" Quoting Liberals " - Beats quoting conservatives.
power rangers 1991 morphers - MMPR started in 1993!
SCGS uniform
SCGS bitch - I'm the top result for both of these search queries. Why am I so disturbed?
Pictures of HDB Rubbish Bin - People look for weird things.
nus-girls - Hahaha.
Post ID: 108436071158623035
Exercise Minotaur - A Journal (Part 2)
General Comments
The good thing about Europe is that you have Fanta. It is too strong to drink on a daily basis, but taken once in a while, it is quite refreshing. Europe also has Nutella, though Root Beer is sadly unknown.
Unlike the NZ lamb we get in Singapore, Greek lamb doesn't smell much. Maybe it's their diet.
Many of the dinners that were pre-paid for weren't very good, but the meals we paid for ourselves - even if it was at restaurants chosen beforehand by the guide - were delicious. Moral of the story: Don't go on tours which provide all of your meals.
A rule I came up with in Plaak (Prague) - hotels with names starting with "Hotel" are lousier than those which place the "Hotel" word at the end. Eg "Hotel Artis". The reason for this is that placing the word "Hotel" at the front gives it an air of class that they cannot otherwise aspire to, and need more desperately than better hotels. This rule seemed to apply for Greece, and seems to apply for Singapore too (Hotel 81)!
Greece is a very mountainous country, and you can only appreciate that when travelling through it by land. Even then, airconditioned buses hardly give you an idea of the experiences of the poor travellers of Pericles' time, but at least you can see why city states arose and persisted.
I was (un)fortunate enough to witness the symptoms of compulsive photo-taking disorder during the trip - all 3 females in their 20s were fond of taking pictures of all sorts of things: flowers, fruits, pine cones and worst of all - each and every one of their meals (okay maybe 1 of them didn't record *all* her meals for posterity, but the other 2 seemed to).
Aircons in Greek hotels all suck. The only aircon which could produce cold air during the trip was in Art Pythia Hotel, Delphi, because there was no central airconditioning, each room being equipped with its own individual unit, with a normal remote like those found in homes. Perhaps the managements disabled the compressors to save on electricity bills, or to prevent hapless guests freezing themselves outside the summer months.
I was thinking of getting some icons for 2 religious friends of mine (Tim and Ger), then I remembered that they were Roman Catholics, and getting them Greek Orthodox icons would be a blasphemy sufficient to get them excommunicated. Pity :)
At many places in Greece, they sold calenders with "beautiful women of Greece" (half nude, going by the cover). One place had a calender with erotic scenes from Greek pottery. Even more popular were playing cards with erotic scenes from Greek pottery, labelled "the best souvenir from Greece". A few places had cards with scenes of hardcore pornography on them, but those didn't have the same charm as the pottery ones. Besides, you wouldn't be able to concentrate on your poker game. But then maybe they're used for strip poker.
A group of 6 - 3 pairs - of 20+ year olds were incredibly close, even though they didn't know each other before the trip, even linking tables during meal times. It must be a generation thing.
Day 3 - May 3rd - Thermopylae-Kalambaka-Meteora
On the third day, we started on our Land Tour of Greece. This day had the longest drive - some 6 hours in total, for we travelled to Kalambaka in Northern Greece. On the way there, we stopped at Thermopylae, where a monument to Leonidas and the Spartans stood (the guide told us that it was a Greek soldier that betrayed them to the Persians, but I remembered that it was a shepherd. I did some research later and some sources mention a shepherd, while others just call him a Greek traitor.). I was holding out a faint hope that the memorial would be the ancient one that read: "Go, stranger, and to Lacedaemon tell/That here, obeying her behests, we fell.", but instead it was a modern monument raised in 1955. There was also another monument at the same site - one to the Boetians, the guide said, but no one bothered about that one (and I can't find out anything about it either). Later, I found out that there was also a monument at the spot where the Greeks made their last stand. Oh well.
After lunch in Kalambaka, we went to see the rocks and monasteries of Meteora. In one of the rocks, there was a cave (the Cave of Dulhiani, or something) hung with many coloured cloths. We were told that in summer, young men and boys from the villages will try to ascend to it, and the one who reaches there first and takes a cloth will be accorded some special status for the rest of the year.
We viewed all 6 of the monasteries and nunneries from afar, but visited only one - the Monastery of Great Meteoron. Prior to 1929 (?), the only means of ascent was by clambering onto a rope thrown from above (the rope was supposedly replaced only when it broke - "God's will"), but there is now a staircase. Inside were such interesting things as a charnel house, housing the skulls of deceased monks, and a church with Byzantine and Byzantine-style icons and frescos.
Before we could buy anything from the monastery, we were quickly shuffled to a shop in the plains below which gave the various tour guides some commission and offered us Ouzo (a Greek alcoholic drink made from grape resin, about 40% alcohol by volume) for free. I was intending to sample some, in my quest to prove to myself that all alcohol tastes Vile, but the smell alone made me feel like puking, so I witheld myself. We were then checked into our hotel in Kalambaka. Having already walked through the town after lunch, my father and I decided to rest before dinner, and take our walk later.
After dinner, I bought a Meteora T-shirt at a shop for 7 Euros, but a whitish dandruff-like film seems to be peeling from it as I type this, so maybe I got conned. After that, we returned to our hotel room, which had been transformed to a furnace. It seems that the helpful management had switched the central airconditioning to heater mode from aircon mode around dinner time. Like typical Singaporeans, we had left the aircon on on "high". The rest was history, and we ended up opening both the doors to the corridor outside and the balcony to air the room, and commiserating with the other members of our tour group, who were having similar experiences.
Day 4 - May 4th - Delphi
In the morning, somewhat later than the previous day, we left for Delphi. Lunch was at a restaurant near Delphi, where as an appetizer, I had cabbage leaves stuffed with rice and meat (not bad, but a touch too salty and too meaty). My main course was swordfish fillet - huge and very fresh, though it was too bouncy and heavy (not in a filling sense) for me. My father claimed the cooking wasn't too good, but it was fine by me. For dessert I had baklava. Greek baklava isn't as sweet as Arabic baklava, but it is too dry. It is also served in the shape of slices of cake rather than the arabic round tarts.
In the shop of the restaurant was a gorgeous golden-brown coloured Cocker Spaniel. He was friendly till I took my camera out to try to get a shot of him, whereupon he started running away from me, eventually hiding behind a chair. The staff explained that he was afraid of cameras. Oh well.
After lunch, we visited the museum at Delphi. This one wasn't closed. Not totally, at least, but most of the collection was not on display due to only one room being open for viewing. At least the Bronze Charioteer was there.
We proceeded, then, to the archaeological site. At its entrance was displayed a list of queer rules. Apparently in Greece, some actions are forbidden on archaeological sites. They include: taking "improper" pictures, singing, making loud noises, "to introduce food" (whatever that means - the image I have is of releasing Killer Tomatoes to devour the Temple of Apollo) and entering the site in a bathing suit. This reminded me of the list of SAF Contraband for servicemen returning from overseas.
After our guide Marisa had given us a tour of the main ruins at Delphi, she gave us 30 minutes to explore the site - possibly going up to the theater - and to take photos, cautioning us not to go to the Stadium as it would take too long and we'd visit Olympia the next day, which had a better stadium anyway. Naturally, I wanted to see what the stadium looked like, and ended up nearly dying on the long treak up (Yet again. It's something I tend to do when overseas).
After leaving the site, we had a look at what remained of the (now dry) purification spring and the less-crowded Sanctuary of Athena, then returned to Delphi for dinner, during which there was a man playing piano in a mediocre fashion (but it was better than nothing).
The aircon in the room worked (finally) but the bath tub was tiny - my knees were curled to my chest when I got in. They'd have been better off constructing a shower instead.
Day 5 - May 5th - Patras-Olympia
On Wednesday, we drove out of Delphi to its port of Nafpaktos (aka Lepanto). The suspension bridge bridging the Gulf of Corinth wasn't ready yet, so we took a ferry. The winds buffeting us during our short ~20min mini-cruise were a bit chilly, but I did not deign to put on my jacket. To questions of, "Aren't you cold?", I replied with my usual answer: "I find the cold invigorating", but after a while even I couldn't take it anymore and went inside.
On arrival at the opposite shore, we drove to Patras and had a short stop, visiting the Cathedral of St. Andreas (St Andrew). It's a 20th century construction, and as I recall, some parts still haven't been decorated, but it was glorious to behold anyhow. The cathedral contained the relics of St Andrew as well as some pieces of the Double Cross on which he was crucified, but I have my doubts about their veracity - after all, during the Middle Ages, enough pieces of "the True Cross" were floating around to reconstruct more than one, and with the number of finger bones at various holy places, some saints apparently had 2 left hands.
We then continued on our journey to Olympia. It was amusing to learn that the Olympic flame is actually lit on an altar in front of the temple of Hera in a re-enactment of a pagan ceremony If the fundies find Pokemon satanic, I wonder what they'll think of this!
After that we proceeded to the Temple of Zeus. I was heartbroken to see the pitiful remains of what once housed one of the canonical Wonders of the Ancient World. (*insert optional rant about the transience of man, and how our modern wonders will likewise disintegrate, and how we all suck and should treasure life. Add angst to taste*)
I have now seen 1 Wonder of the Ancient World (or what remains of it, anyway). 1 down, 6 to go. The Colossus is gone, hauled off on the backs of 900 camels. Herostratus burned down the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. Some people doubt the existence of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and I doubt Iraq will be safe for many years to come. The Pharos lies in the sea off Alexandria and I can't dive. But the Pyramids (or more specifically, the Great Pyramid of Khufu/Cheops) are still there, albeit missing their crowning limestone glory. And I've seen the partial reconstruction of the Mausoleum in the British Museum, so that's a half-count.
After our visit, we were bused to Europa hotel - the best hotel we stayed in during our trip. Suffice to say that it was highly recommended by the Frommers guidebook. We had some time before dinner, but my father didn't want to walk to the town of Olympia, so I went alone.
Europa hotel, though good, was far from the town of Olympia, so much so that the reception provided a map for guests. On the map, it didn't look too bad, but when I took the route, I found that it was down a hill. Along the way, my foot crashed into the lid of a rubbish cart that was lying on its side, causing me no end of pain. Also, dogs in houses adjoining the road kept barking at me (they were the unfriendliest dogs in Greece).
I spent a short time spent walking around Olympia town and buying 2 souvenirs/gifts. There was an interesting bookshop selling CDs of Byzantine music and a book on the mysteries of Rhea and Orphism. Another had Barbie-style dolls of Aphrodite, Artemis, Poseidon and others whose names I couldn't make out from the Greek letters. Eeks!
After that, I returned to the hotel. It was hell. The inclines were probably the steepest I'd ever seen, and I had to stop for breath more than once. By the time I reached my room, I was so drained I collapsed on the bed.
At dinner, there was a group of Koreans at the table beside us. Besides bringing their own seaweed to the meal, they also had a guy giving out green chilis. Wth?!
After dinner, I loitered around the lobby for a while, seeing if anyone was going down to the town, so I could share a cab up with them. Seemingly, everyone was deterred by the slope, so in the end I ended up talking to someone else on the tour, with whom I later discovered that we shared a mutual friend, and who has read my blog before. My infamy precedes me. For all I know, one day I'm going to run into the Brazillians who used to ask me for cyber-BDSM on ICQ.
Praise from the critics (on Part 1 of the Exercise Minotaur journal):
"thge greece entry so far is short, sweet and full of pointed observations and dry wit that is characteristic of the gabriel seah prose.
it's one of the finest examples of your work"
[Ed: Added cyber-BDSM and Delphi bath tub comments, 12/05]
General Comments
The good thing about Europe is that you have Fanta. It is too strong to drink on a daily basis, but taken once in a while, it is quite refreshing. Europe also has Nutella, though Root Beer is sadly unknown.
Unlike the NZ lamb we get in Singapore, Greek lamb doesn't smell much. Maybe it's their diet.
Many of the dinners that were pre-paid for weren't very good, but the meals we paid for ourselves - even if it was at restaurants chosen beforehand by the guide - were delicious. Moral of the story: Don't go on tours which provide all of your meals.
A rule I came up with in Plaak (Prague) - hotels with names starting with "Hotel" are lousier than those which place the "Hotel" word at the end. Eg "Hotel Artis". The reason for this is that placing the word "Hotel" at the front gives it an air of class that they cannot otherwise aspire to, and need more desperately than better hotels. This rule seemed to apply for Greece, and seems to apply for Singapore too (Hotel 81)!
Greece is a very mountainous country, and you can only appreciate that when travelling through it by land. Even then, airconditioned buses hardly give you an idea of the experiences of the poor travellers of Pericles' time, but at least you can see why city states arose and persisted.
I was (un)fortunate enough to witness the symptoms of compulsive photo-taking disorder during the trip - all 3 females in their 20s were fond of taking pictures of all sorts of things: flowers, fruits, pine cones and worst of all - each and every one of their meals (okay maybe 1 of them didn't record *all* her meals for posterity, but the other 2 seemed to).
Aircons in Greek hotels all suck. The only aircon which could produce cold air during the trip was in Art Pythia Hotel, Delphi, because there was no central airconditioning, each room being equipped with its own individual unit, with a normal remote like those found in homes. Perhaps the managements disabled the compressors to save on electricity bills, or to prevent hapless guests freezing themselves outside the summer months.
I was thinking of getting some icons for 2 religious friends of mine (Tim and Ger), then I remembered that they were Roman Catholics, and getting them Greek Orthodox icons would be a blasphemy sufficient to get them excommunicated. Pity :)
At many places in Greece, they sold calenders with "beautiful women of Greece" (half nude, going by the cover). One place had a calender with erotic scenes from Greek pottery. Even more popular were playing cards with erotic scenes from Greek pottery, labelled "the best souvenir from Greece". A few places had cards with scenes of hardcore pornography on them, but those didn't have the same charm as the pottery ones. Besides, you wouldn't be able to concentrate on your poker game. But then maybe they're used for strip poker.
A group of 6 - 3 pairs - of 20+ year olds were incredibly close, even though they didn't know each other before the trip, even linking tables during meal times. It must be a generation thing.
Day 3 - May 3rd - Thermopylae-Kalambaka-Meteora
On the third day, we started on our Land Tour of Greece. This day had the longest drive - some 6 hours in total, for we travelled to Kalambaka in Northern Greece. On the way there, we stopped at Thermopylae, where a monument to Leonidas and the Spartans stood (the guide told us that it was a Greek soldier that betrayed them to the Persians, but I remembered that it was a shepherd. I did some research later and some sources mention a shepherd, while others just call him a Greek traitor.). I was holding out a faint hope that the memorial would be the ancient one that read: "Go, stranger, and to Lacedaemon tell/That here, obeying her behests, we fell.", but instead it was a modern monument raised in 1955. There was also another monument at the same site - one to the Boetians, the guide said, but no one bothered about that one (and I can't find out anything about it either). Later, I found out that there was also a monument at the spot where the Greeks made their last stand. Oh well.
After lunch in Kalambaka, we went to see the rocks and monasteries of Meteora. In one of the rocks, there was a cave (the Cave of Dulhiani, or something) hung with many coloured cloths. We were told that in summer, young men and boys from the villages will try to ascend to it, and the one who reaches there first and takes a cloth will be accorded some special status for the rest of the year.
We viewed all 6 of the monasteries and nunneries from afar, but visited only one - the Monastery of Great Meteoron. Prior to 1929 (?), the only means of ascent was by clambering onto a rope thrown from above (the rope was supposedly replaced only when it broke - "God's will"), but there is now a staircase. Inside were such interesting things as a charnel house, housing the skulls of deceased monks, and a church with Byzantine and Byzantine-style icons and frescos.
Before we could buy anything from the monastery, we were quickly shuffled to a shop in the plains below which gave the various tour guides some commission and offered us Ouzo (a Greek alcoholic drink made from grape resin, about 40% alcohol by volume) for free. I was intending to sample some, in my quest to prove to myself that all alcohol tastes Vile, but the smell alone made me feel like puking, so I witheld myself. We were then checked into our hotel in Kalambaka. Having already walked through the town after lunch, my father and I decided to rest before dinner, and take our walk later.
After dinner, I bought a Meteora T-shirt at a shop for 7 Euros, but a whitish dandruff-like film seems to be peeling from it as I type this, so maybe I got conned. After that, we returned to our hotel room, which had been transformed to a furnace. It seems that the helpful management had switched the central airconditioning to heater mode from aircon mode around dinner time. Like typical Singaporeans, we had left the aircon on on "high". The rest was history, and we ended up opening both the doors to the corridor outside and the balcony to air the room, and commiserating with the other members of our tour group, who were having similar experiences.
Day 4 - May 4th - Delphi
In the morning, somewhat later than the previous day, we left for Delphi. Lunch was at a restaurant near Delphi, where as an appetizer, I had cabbage leaves stuffed with rice and meat (not bad, but a touch too salty and too meaty). My main course was swordfish fillet - huge and very fresh, though it was too bouncy and heavy (not in a filling sense) for me. My father claimed the cooking wasn't too good, but it was fine by me. For dessert I had baklava. Greek baklava isn't as sweet as Arabic baklava, but it is too dry. It is also served in the shape of slices of cake rather than the arabic round tarts.
In the shop of the restaurant was a gorgeous golden-brown coloured Cocker Spaniel. He was friendly till I took my camera out to try to get a shot of him, whereupon he started running away from me, eventually hiding behind a chair. The staff explained that he was afraid of cameras. Oh well.
After lunch, we visited the museum at Delphi. This one wasn't closed. Not totally, at least, but most of the collection was not on display due to only one room being open for viewing. At least the Bronze Charioteer was there.
We proceeded, then, to the archaeological site. At its entrance was displayed a list of queer rules. Apparently in Greece, some actions are forbidden on archaeological sites. They include: taking "improper" pictures, singing, making loud noises, "to introduce food" (whatever that means - the image I have is of releasing Killer Tomatoes to devour the Temple of Apollo) and entering the site in a bathing suit. This reminded me of the list of SAF Contraband for servicemen returning from overseas.
After our guide Marisa had given us a tour of the main ruins at Delphi, she gave us 30 minutes to explore the site - possibly going up to the theater - and to take photos, cautioning us not to go to the Stadium as it would take too long and we'd visit Olympia the next day, which had a better stadium anyway. Naturally, I wanted to see what the stadium looked like, and ended up nearly dying on the long treak up (Yet again. It's something I tend to do when overseas).
After leaving the site, we had a look at what remained of the (now dry) purification spring and the less-crowded Sanctuary of Athena, then returned to Delphi for dinner, during which there was a man playing piano in a mediocre fashion (but it was better than nothing).
The aircon in the room worked (finally) but the bath tub was tiny - my knees were curled to my chest when I got in. They'd have been better off constructing a shower instead.
Day 5 - May 5th - Patras-Olympia
On Wednesday, we drove out of Delphi to its port of Nafpaktos (aka Lepanto). The suspension bridge bridging the Gulf of Corinth wasn't ready yet, so we took a ferry. The winds buffeting us during our short ~20min mini-cruise were a bit chilly, but I did not deign to put on my jacket. To questions of, "Aren't you cold?", I replied with my usual answer: "I find the cold invigorating", but after a while even I couldn't take it anymore and went inside.
On arrival at the opposite shore, we drove to Patras and had a short stop, visiting the Cathedral of St. Andreas (St Andrew). It's a 20th century construction, and as I recall, some parts still haven't been decorated, but it was glorious to behold anyhow. The cathedral contained the relics of St Andrew as well as some pieces of the Double Cross on which he was crucified, but I have my doubts about their veracity - after all, during the Middle Ages, enough pieces of "the True Cross" were floating around to reconstruct more than one, and with the number of finger bones at various holy places, some saints apparently had 2 left hands.
We then continued on our journey to Olympia. It was amusing to learn that the Olympic flame is actually lit on an altar in front of the temple of Hera in a re-enactment of a pagan ceremony If the fundies find Pokemon satanic, I wonder what they'll think of this!
After that we proceeded to the Temple of Zeus. I was heartbroken to see the pitiful remains of what once housed one of the canonical Wonders of the Ancient World. (*insert optional rant about the transience of man, and how our modern wonders will likewise disintegrate, and how we all suck and should treasure life. Add angst to taste*)
I have now seen 1 Wonder of the Ancient World (or what remains of it, anyway). 1 down, 6 to go. The Colossus is gone, hauled off on the backs of 900 camels. Herostratus burned down the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. Some people doubt the existence of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and I doubt Iraq will be safe for many years to come. The Pharos lies in the sea off Alexandria and I can't dive. But the Pyramids (or more specifically, the Great Pyramid of Khufu/Cheops) are still there, albeit missing their crowning limestone glory. And I've seen the partial reconstruction of the Mausoleum in the British Museum, so that's a half-count.
After our visit, we were bused to Europa hotel - the best hotel we stayed in during our trip. Suffice to say that it was highly recommended by the Frommers guidebook. We had some time before dinner, but my father didn't want to walk to the town of Olympia, so I went alone.
Europa hotel, though good, was far from the town of Olympia, so much so that the reception provided a map for guests. On the map, it didn't look too bad, but when I took the route, I found that it was down a hill. Along the way, my foot crashed into the lid of a rubbish cart that was lying on its side, causing me no end of pain. Also, dogs in houses adjoining the road kept barking at me (they were the unfriendliest dogs in Greece).
I spent a short time spent walking around Olympia town and buying 2 souvenirs/gifts. There was an interesting bookshop selling CDs of Byzantine music and a book on the mysteries of Rhea and Orphism. Another had Barbie-style dolls of Aphrodite, Artemis, Poseidon and others whose names I couldn't make out from the Greek letters. Eeks!
After that, I returned to the hotel. It was hell. The inclines were probably the steepest I'd ever seen, and I had to stop for breath more than once. By the time I reached my room, I was so drained I collapsed on the bed.
At dinner, there was a group of Koreans at the table beside us. Besides bringing their own seaweed to the meal, they also had a guy giving out green chilis. Wth?!
After dinner, I loitered around the lobby for a while, seeing if anyone was going down to the town, so I could share a cab up with them. Seemingly, everyone was deterred by the slope, so in the end I ended up talking to someone else on the tour, with whom I later discovered that we shared a mutual friend, and who has read my blog before. My infamy precedes me. For all I know, one day I'm going to run into the Brazillians who used to ask me for cyber-BDSM on ICQ.
Praise from the critics (on Part 1 of the Exercise Minotaur journal):
"thge greece entry so far is short, sweet and full of pointed observations and dry wit that is characteristic of the gabriel seah prose.
it's one of the finest examples of your work"
[Ed: Added cyber-BDSM and Delphi bath tub comments, 12/05]
Post ID: 108427609742904380
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Today I was waiting for the 855 at the same time that the Lower Secondary students at CHIJ St Theresa's were filing out from school.
The mindless shrill chatter. The endless ditzy giggles. The ah lians. The ah beng boyfriend touching his CHIJ girlfriend's stomach after she'd unfastened her belt. And none was able to redeem the actions of the others (maybe in a few years, when they become less gawkish). Oh god. Now I know why my sister, who often took the bus at the same time as them, kept complaining.
Many of them got on my 855, and their stench permeated the bus. Fee fie foe fum, I smell a mass of untreated female bodies. Luckily, later on a woman with strong perfume sat in front of me, partially masking the odour.
Jade House Computing is no more, and has not been for quite a while. On the sacred ground where it once stood now towers Mystique beauty salon.
However, not far away are 2 shops selling pirated PC games CDs at $6 a piece. This is still higher than Jade's price at its apogee, but then the days when the only things in Singapore that were becoming cheaper year after year were pirated CDs have long ended. School boys can rejoice once more.
In Bishan is a shop selling bubble tea for as low as 80 cents. Blended ices go for more, at $1.20 a cup, but you get discounts on orders of 2 or more cups. The bubble has well and truly burst.
I caught the 2:30 show of Starsky and Hutch at Junction 8. This was not a good time to go, at least on a weekday, for it seemed that Couple Hour was underway, complete with groping.
luvACguys - "Enter into the wonderful and exhilarating world of luvACguys, here you can experience the sunny, always exciting and lovely world of cute boyish tanned handsome guys. This is the realm of paradise on earth where life is always happy, carefree and fun!!!"
Some extracts: "I regret not sitting with that cute spikey hair boy instead I go and sit with ugly people :(((( because I was too shy to sit with cute guys. But Cute boyish tanned handsome guys must always stick together forever!!!!!! I must spank myself!!!! CBTH guys you must always sit with your own kind, with guys like ME!!!!!!!!!!! And I must always sit with my own kind in the future!!!!!!! I MUST NOT!!! be shy when I see cute guys anymore!!!! CANNOT!!!!!! Cute boyish tanned handsome guys must always stick together forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AC guys I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh I can see logically now...it's the brillant, crisp, and good-as-new chunky thick fabric of a white T-Shirt on the body of a supernatural being! It has dark blue colour in the inner collar of the T-shirt! And it came with matching dark blue steam ironed pressed baggy trousers. If I have never truly believed in God I must now say that I really really do now! Oh God this is the best thing you have ever created in this whole world! SUCH POWER!!! SUCH POWER!!! God you must have sent your angels to reclaim your people at this end time!!! Oh God take me! Take me please!!!"
The mindless shrill chatter. The endless ditzy giggles. The ah lians. The ah beng boyfriend touching his CHIJ girlfriend's stomach after she'd unfastened her belt. And none was able to redeem the actions of the others (maybe in a few years, when they become less gawkish). Oh god. Now I know why my sister, who often took the bus at the same time as them, kept complaining.
Many of them got on my 855, and their stench permeated the bus. Fee fie foe fum, I smell a mass of untreated female bodies. Luckily, later on a woman with strong perfume sat in front of me, partially masking the odour.
Jade House Computing is no more, and has not been for quite a while. On the sacred ground where it once stood now towers Mystique beauty salon.
However, not far away are 2 shops selling pirated PC games CDs at $6 a piece. This is still higher than Jade's price at its apogee, but then the days when the only things in Singapore that were becoming cheaper year after year were pirated CDs have long ended. School boys can rejoice once more.
In Bishan is a shop selling bubble tea for as low as 80 cents. Blended ices go for more, at $1.20 a cup, but you get discounts on orders of 2 or more cups. The bubble has well and truly burst.
I caught the 2:30 show of Starsky and Hutch at Junction 8. This was not a good time to go, at least on a weekday, for it seemed that Couple Hour was underway, complete with groping.
luvACguys - "Enter into the wonderful and exhilarating world of luvACguys, here you can experience the sunny, always exciting and lovely world of cute boyish tanned handsome guys. This is the realm of paradise on earth where life is always happy, carefree and fun!!!"
Some extracts: "I regret not sitting with that cute spikey hair boy instead I go and sit with ugly people :(((( because I was too shy to sit with cute guys. But Cute boyish tanned handsome guys must always stick together forever!!!!!! I must spank myself!!!! CBTH guys you must always sit with your own kind, with guys like ME!!!!!!!!!!! And I must always sit with my own kind in the future!!!!!!! I MUST NOT!!! be shy when I see cute guys anymore!!!! CANNOT!!!!!! Cute boyish tanned handsome guys must always stick together forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AC guys I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh I can see logically now...it's the brillant, crisp, and good-as-new chunky thick fabric of a white T-Shirt on the body of a supernatural being! It has dark blue colour in the inner collar of the T-shirt! And it came with matching dark blue steam ironed pressed baggy trousers. If I have never truly believed in God I must now say that I really really do now! Oh God this is the best thing you have ever created in this whole world! SUCH POWER!!! SUCH POWER!!! God you must have sent your angels to reclaim your people at this end time!!! Oh God take me! Take me please!!!"
Post ID: 108427498879941502
Exercise Minotaur - A Journal (Part 1)
General Comments
After a traumatising experience on the East Coast of America 10 years ago, I'd sworn off conducted tours and was thus somewhat apprehensive about this one. In the end, it turned out well. Travelling with other people inevitably involves making compromises - the level of compromise depends on who you travel with.
The group I travelled with was small - 13, so they didn't even send a redundant Singapore guide, and all of them were English-understanding, even if they didn't speak it all the time. We had but one Chinese meal, though that was probably due to there being no Chinese restaurants outside Athens, and many meals were not paid for, so often we got to choose what we wanted to eat. We had sufficient time, mostly, to explore the various archaeological sites, though we were rushed through the museums; but then it was a Classical Tour, after all (though I do wonder why people went on it if they didn't know much about Greek history and mythology). There was even time given on 2 separate days to explore Athens by ourselves! The hotels weren't very good (except for Europa Hotel in Olympia), but I'm not very fussy about that, so.
My sister says that you shouldn't go on a tour with any agency located in Chinatown. I suppose that's as good a rule of thumb as any other.
Greek food is nice, and my father has rescinded his previous opinion of it being "dog food", but I can't imagine eating it 24/7. As always, Singapore is a gastronomical paradise.
There were many *huge* dogs in Greece, and most of them were placid and friendly (sleepy, rather). I didn't see as many cats, though, but those I did see were very fat.
Even though images taken by my camera look over-exposed on the LCD screen, in reality they aren't. As a result, the shots I deliberately under-exposed (quite a lot) look quite dark. !@#$%^&*() It's all Hwa's fault *mutter*
A lot of cars in Greece looked like Thera had just erupted over them. Greece may not be very rich, but surely it doesn't cost too much to wash your car weekly?
Mt Athos is a theocracy and women are banned? Wth?!
Day 1 - May 1st - Singapore-Dubia-Larnaca-Athens
The flights to and from Greece were on Emirates, on which I was flying for the first time. Somehow, I always seem to get flights on Islamic airlines - besides the all-time favourite Ma-laysia Airlines, I've also travelled on Gulfair and Royal Brunei Airlines. They've all been fine, since the crews are recruited internationally, except that they don't serve pork, and there're the bothersome announcements in a non-English language which no one listens to anyway. Oh, and Royal Brunei keeps prefacing each flight with "The Trouble Prayer", making travelling with them a most dangerous experience.
For Economy class seats on Emirates flights, the controller for the personal entertainment system is stowed under the screen in the head of the seat in front of you. This is much more sensible than other airlines' locating them in the handrest of the seat. The in-flight entertainment is similar to what's available on other airlines, but Emirates has an interesting gimmick - cameras in the front and on the bottom of the aircraft, giving you something to look at when you tire of overly-censored movies.
Emirates also has funky special lifejackets for babies in cots, which can be seen in the safety vids.
The air hostesses are very naughty. When the plane gets off the ground, they take off their already-skimpy headgear, and put on blue aprons. Tut tut.
Observations aside, the only complaint I had about the Singapore-Dubai flight was the elbow room - or lack thereof. The flight was packed so fully that there seemed to be no empty seats - or at least none in my vicinity, and my seat was in between 2 others, giving me no breathing space.
The guy to my right set the radio to Bollywood music - at the highest volume setting, no less - and promptly fell asleep. On my left, my father had fallen asleep, and I didn't wish to wake him. Both of them had put their arms on the armrests - leaving me without a free armrest to put mine.
After a while, I got arm cramps, despite constantly adjusting my position from sitting down normally, to folding my arms on the head of my seat to stretching my arms onto the seat in front of me, to placing my arms on the seat in front of me and leaning forward. A headache accompanied the cramps, exacerbated, no doubt, by my prior ailments; cunningly cranking down the Bollywood music to a minimum volume by nudging the guy's touch-screen didn't help, for it remained audible. I was so agitated that I couldn't sleep on the flight at all.
A notice in the hotel we lodged in in Athens (Olympic Palace Hotel) informed us that the National Archaeological Museum (with the Mask of Agamemnon!!!) was closed till further notice. Many other museums throughout Greece were either closed till the Olympics for renovations or had only part of their collections on show (for the same reason). Oh well. That's what I get for not doing my research and for going before the Olympics. And museum closures is the reason it's good to have visited a museum with loot plundered from all over the world (the Louvre, British Museum, the Metropolitan Museum of Art etc)
I called home on arriving in the hotel room: the obligatory "we're safe and sound" call, but couldn't get through. A call to my brother in law's handphone revealed that he was using the line to talk to my sister. He then proceeded to tell my sister that I'd called, and repeated to her what I'd told him, despite my protestations; in disgust at his blatant wastage of money on IDD charges (for we do not all enjoy corporate subsidies on mobile phone bills), I hung up on him.
After a suitable interval spent resting, my father and I went to walk around Plaka - the touristy district of Athens. The Library of Hadrian was closed, but I got a good view from outside the grills. I was looking for a good vantage point from which to take pictures for a PhotoStitch of the Acropolis, but there was none in the crowded squares of Plaka. What I found, instead, was a group of people dressed in what tortillas would recognise as vaguely American Indian-ish outfits, performing awful music and hawking a music CD called "American Inka".
Dinner that night was at a Chinese restaurant - our sole Chinese meal in Greece. It wasn't bad, actually - the classique egg-drop/seaweed soup, sweet and sour fish, curried chicken, fried eggplant, something else I can't remember, fried noodles, white rice. Yes: for some reason we were given both white rice and fried noodles. The fried noodles were... unique. Instead of the normal Chinese fried noodles, what we got was spaghetti fried with onions and some black sauce - cheap to make but eminently tasty.
Day 2 - May 2nd - Athens
The second day opened with a visit to the Acropolis - among other things, we saw the Propylaea, the Odeum of Herodes Atticus, the Parthenon and the Erechtheion. What frustrated me to no end was that they'd totally dismantled The Temple of Athena Nike in 2002 for restoration work, so we didn't get to see it. I was looking for the rock which Poseidon struck when he and Athena were vying to become the patron God of Athens, but didn't find it (apparently it's in the Erechtheion, but the public wasn't allowed to wander in, so).
The Acropolis museum was open, thank god, but I was shocked to discover that the Caryatids supporting the porch of the Erechtheion are actually plaster casts, and not the originals! Gasp. Horror. Shock. Anyhow I'd always wondered how they could leave the Caryatids in the open, what with the pollution eroding them. Putting them in the museum behind a glass pane sounds like as good a way as any and leaving behind plaster casts, especially since one had been carted away by Lord Elgin already.
After we left the Acropolis, I took a detour to mount the Areopagus - the hill where St Paul is said to have preached to the Athenians. Right now, the Areopagus is a small patch of treacherously slippery and uneven white marble, so I assume that there was an error in translation or miscommunication, kind of like what happened to Schliemann with Nestor's drinking cup.
After the Acropolis, we were taken to see the Olympic Flame where it resided in the Panathenian stadium, then to Syntagma Square where we witnessed the changing of the guard. We were then unleashed upon the City of Athens.
My father didn't have any place he wanted to go, having kindly gone on the trip mostly just to accompany me, so I set the agenda. The Temple of Olympian Zeus was nearby, so I trekked there. Interestingly, it was free to enter (as were all the other sites we visited on that day) as it was National Monument Day, or something like that. Only 16 of the original 104 Corinthian columns survive (and one is in pieces, lying on its side) but nonetheless it is impressive, in the Roman tradition of grandeur, though somehow typically souless (though that is probably due to the survival only of the columns). I then went looking for Hadrian's Arch, but found it with difficulty - for it was covered from head to toe in scaffolding.
After that, we walked to the Roman Agora, which contained the Tower of the Winds (Horologion of Andronicos) and a few ruins. The Ancient Agora, which we walked to later, was much more extensive and impressive, with such structures as the Hephaisteion (the only roofed temple remaining in Greece, so I was told) and the Byzantine Church of the Holy Apostles (restored). Naturally, the Ancient Agora's museum was under renovation for the Olympics, but at least some sculptures were left outside. While at the Ancient Agora, I was bored, so I went exploring - and ended up exhausting myself climbing to the foot of the Areopagus, while my father rested on a bench in the shade.
The last stop of the day was Kerameikos Cemetery - the official cemetery of Athens till late Roman times. I couldn't find the museum, probably as it - along with a part of the site - was cordoned off and closed, but at least I got to walk the Sacred Way of the cemetery. After that, we were done with walking the streets for a day, and trying to make our way to Monastiraki station, somehow ended up to the north, at Omonia station, and took a train back to Syntagma Square, whence we returned to the hotel. We were both tired, so I bought dinner back - a turkey ham sandwich from Everest, a sandwich shop, and a Greek Chicken Pita meal from McDonalds, which was delectable. Unlike my normal practice, though, I didn't have a McFlurry, nor did I have one in Greece.
The Athens Metro
At a flat 0.70 Euros per trip, the Metro was cheap, especially compared with prices in Greece in general. It was new, and the subway cars remind me of those in New York.
The archaeological findings from the construction works were displayed in some Metro stations. Nothing to write home about - the best bits were probably carted off to museums, but the drab amphorae and clay pipes added a nice touch to the otherwise drab stations.
Places I would like to return to Greece to visit one day:
Marathon, Plataea, Delos, Corinth, Chaeronea/Chaironeia (the stone lion!), Mount Olympus (if only to eat ambrosia, drink nectar and thus become immortal), Thessalonica, Knossus, Rhodes, Sparta, Thera
This ranks, of couse, in my priority list, at about the same level as ironing my own clothes and cleaning out my room thoroughly.
Coming at some point in the future - Part 2...
General Comments
After a traumatising experience on the East Coast of America 10 years ago, I'd sworn off conducted tours and was thus somewhat apprehensive about this one. In the end, it turned out well. Travelling with other people inevitably involves making compromises - the level of compromise depends on who you travel with.
The group I travelled with was small - 13, so they didn't even send a redundant Singapore guide, and all of them were English-understanding, even if they didn't speak it all the time. We had but one Chinese meal, though that was probably due to there being no Chinese restaurants outside Athens, and many meals were not paid for, so often we got to choose what we wanted to eat. We had sufficient time, mostly, to explore the various archaeological sites, though we were rushed through the museums; but then it was a Classical Tour, after all (though I do wonder why people went on it if they didn't know much about Greek history and mythology). There was even time given on 2 separate days to explore Athens by ourselves! The hotels weren't very good (except for Europa Hotel in Olympia), but I'm not very fussy about that, so.
My sister says that you shouldn't go on a tour with any agency located in Chinatown. I suppose that's as good a rule of thumb as any other.
Greek food is nice, and my father has rescinded his previous opinion of it being "dog food", but I can't imagine eating it 24/7. As always, Singapore is a gastronomical paradise.
There were many *huge* dogs in Greece, and most of them were placid and friendly (sleepy, rather). I didn't see as many cats, though, but those I did see were very fat.
Even though images taken by my camera look over-exposed on the LCD screen, in reality they aren't. As a result, the shots I deliberately under-exposed (quite a lot) look quite dark. !@#$%^&*() It's all Hwa's fault *mutter*
A lot of cars in Greece looked like Thera had just erupted over them. Greece may not be very rich, but surely it doesn't cost too much to wash your car weekly?
Mt Athos is a theocracy and women are banned? Wth?!
Day 1 - May 1st - Singapore-Dubia-Larnaca-Athens
The flights to and from Greece were on Emirates, on which I was flying for the first time. Somehow, I always seem to get flights on Islamic airlines - besides the all-time favourite Ma-laysia Airlines, I've also travelled on Gulfair and Royal Brunei Airlines. They've all been fine, since the crews are recruited internationally, except that they don't serve pork, and there're the bothersome announcements in a non-English language which no one listens to anyway. Oh, and Royal Brunei keeps prefacing each flight with "The Trouble Prayer", making travelling with them a most dangerous experience.
For Economy class seats on Emirates flights, the controller for the personal entertainment system is stowed under the screen in the head of the seat in front of you. This is much more sensible than other airlines' locating them in the handrest of the seat. The in-flight entertainment is similar to what's available on other airlines, but Emirates has an interesting gimmick - cameras in the front and on the bottom of the aircraft, giving you something to look at when you tire of overly-censored movies.
Emirates also has funky special lifejackets for babies in cots, which can be seen in the safety vids.
The air hostesses are very naughty. When the plane gets off the ground, they take off their already-skimpy headgear, and put on blue aprons. Tut tut.
Observations aside, the only complaint I had about the Singapore-Dubai flight was the elbow room - or lack thereof. The flight was packed so fully that there seemed to be no empty seats - or at least none in my vicinity, and my seat was in between 2 others, giving me no breathing space.
The guy to my right set the radio to Bollywood music - at the highest volume setting, no less - and promptly fell asleep. On my left, my father had fallen asleep, and I didn't wish to wake him. Both of them had put their arms on the armrests - leaving me without a free armrest to put mine.
After a while, I got arm cramps, despite constantly adjusting my position from sitting down normally, to folding my arms on the head of my seat to stretching my arms onto the seat in front of me, to placing my arms on the seat in front of me and leaning forward. A headache accompanied the cramps, exacerbated, no doubt, by my prior ailments; cunningly cranking down the Bollywood music to a minimum volume by nudging the guy's touch-screen didn't help, for it remained audible. I was so agitated that I couldn't sleep on the flight at all.
A notice in the hotel we lodged in in Athens (Olympic Palace Hotel) informed us that the National Archaeological Museum (with the Mask of Agamemnon!!!) was closed till further notice. Many other museums throughout Greece were either closed till the Olympics for renovations or had only part of their collections on show (for the same reason). Oh well. That's what I get for not doing my research and for going before the Olympics. And museum closures is the reason it's good to have visited a museum with loot plundered from all over the world (the Louvre, British Museum, the Metropolitan Museum of Art etc)
I called home on arriving in the hotel room: the obligatory "we're safe and sound" call, but couldn't get through. A call to my brother in law's handphone revealed that he was using the line to talk to my sister. He then proceeded to tell my sister that I'd called, and repeated to her what I'd told him, despite my protestations; in disgust at his blatant wastage of money on IDD charges (for we do not all enjoy corporate subsidies on mobile phone bills), I hung up on him.
After a suitable interval spent resting, my father and I went to walk around Plaka - the touristy district of Athens. The Library of Hadrian was closed, but I got a good view from outside the grills. I was looking for a good vantage point from which to take pictures for a PhotoStitch of the Acropolis, but there was none in the crowded squares of Plaka. What I found, instead, was a group of people dressed in what tortillas would recognise as vaguely American Indian-ish outfits, performing awful music and hawking a music CD called "American Inka".
Dinner that night was at a Chinese restaurant - our sole Chinese meal in Greece. It wasn't bad, actually - the classique egg-drop/seaweed soup, sweet and sour fish, curried chicken, fried eggplant, something else I can't remember, fried noodles, white rice. Yes: for some reason we were given both white rice and fried noodles. The fried noodles were... unique. Instead of the normal Chinese fried noodles, what we got was spaghetti fried with onions and some black sauce - cheap to make but eminently tasty.
Day 2 - May 2nd - Athens
The second day opened with a visit to the Acropolis - among other things, we saw the Propylaea, the Odeum of Herodes Atticus, the Parthenon and the Erechtheion. What frustrated me to no end was that they'd totally dismantled The Temple of Athena Nike in 2002 for restoration work, so we didn't get to see it. I was looking for the rock which Poseidon struck when he and Athena were vying to become the patron God of Athens, but didn't find it (apparently it's in the Erechtheion, but the public wasn't allowed to wander in, so).
The Acropolis museum was open, thank god, but I was shocked to discover that the Caryatids supporting the porch of the Erechtheion are actually plaster casts, and not the originals! Gasp. Horror. Shock. Anyhow I'd always wondered how they could leave the Caryatids in the open, what with the pollution eroding them. Putting them in the museum behind a glass pane sounds like as good a way as any and leaving behind plaster casts, especially since one had been carted away by Lord Elgin already.
After we left the Acropolis, I took a detour to mount the Areopagus - the hill where St Paul is said to have preached to the Athenians. Right now, the Areopagus is a small patch of treacherously slippery and uneven white marble, so I assume that there was an error in translation or miscommunication, kind of like what happened to Schliemann with Nestor's drinking cup.
After the Acropolis, we were taken to see the Olympic Flame where it resided in the Panathenian stadium, then to Syntagma Square where we witnessed the changing of the guard. We were then unleashed upon the City of Athens.
My father didn't have any place he wanted to go, having kindly gone on the trip mostly just to accompany me, so I set the agenda. The Temple of Olympian Zeus was nearby, so I trekked there. Interestingly, it was free to enter (as were all the other sites we visited on that day) as it was National Monument Day, or something like that. Only 16 of the original 104 Corinthian columns survive (and one is in pieces, lying on its side) but nonetheless it is impressive, in the Roman tradition of grandeur, though somehow typically souless (though that is probably due to the survival only of the columns). I then went looking for Hadrian's Arch, but found it with difficulty - for it was covered from head to toe in scaffolding.
After that, we walked to the Roman Agora, which contained the Tower of the Winds (Horologion of Andronicos) and a few ruins. The Ancient Agora, which we walked to later, was much more extensive and impressive, with such structures as the Hephaisteion (the only roofed temple remaining in Greece, so I was told) and the Byzantine Church of the Holy Apostles (restored). Naturally, the Ancient Agora's museum was under renovation for the Olympics, but at least some sculptures were left outside. While at the Ancient Agora, I was bored, so I went exploring - and ended up exhausting myself climbing to the foot of the Areopagus, while my father rested on a bench in the shade.
The last stop of the day was Kerameikos Cemetery - the official cemetery of Athens till late Roman times. I couldn't find the museum, probably as it - along with a part of the site - was cordoned off and closed, but at least I got to walk the Sacred Way of the cemetery. After that, we were done with walking the streets for a day, and trying to make our way to Monastiraki station, somehow ended up to the north, at Omonia station, and took a train back to Syntagma Square, whence we returned to the hotel. We were both tired, so I bought dinner back - a turkey ham sandwich from Everest, a sandwich shop, and a Greek Chicken Pita meal from McDonalds, which was delectable. Unlike my normal practice, though, I didn't have a McFlurry, nor did I have one in Greece.
The Athens Metro
At a flat 0.70 Euros per trip, the Metro was cheap, especially compared with prices in Greece in general. It was new, and the subway cars remind me of those in New York.
The archaeological findings from the construction works were displayed in some Metro stations. Nothing to write home about - the best bits were probably carted off to museums, but the drab amphorae and clay pipes added a nice touch to the otherwise drab stations.
Places I would like to return to Greece to visit one day:
Marathon, Plataea, Delos, Corinth, Chaeronea/Chaironeia (the stone lion!), Mount Olympus (if only to eat ambrosia, drink nectar and thus become immortal), Thessalonica, Knossus, Rhodes, Sparta, Thera
This ranks, of couse, in my priority list, at about the same level as ironing my own clothes and cleaning out my room thoroughly.
Coming at some point in the future - Part 2...
Post ID: 108420489854011336
Monday, May 10, 2004
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
in amaritudine
loquor mee menti:
factus de materia,
cinis elementi
similis sum folio,
de quo ludunt venti.
Cum sit enim proprium
viro sapienti
supra petram ponere
sedem fundamenti,
stultus ego comparor
fluvio labenti,
sub eodem tramite
nunquam permanenti.
Feror ego veluti
sine nauta navis,
ut per vias aeris
vaga fertur avis;
non me tenent vincula,
non me tenet clavis,
quero mihi similes
et adiungor pravis.
Mihi cordis gravitas
res videtur gravis;
iocis est amabilis
dulciorque favis;
quicquid Venus imperat,
labor est suavis,
que nunquam in cordibus
habitat ignavis.
Via lata gradior
more iuventutis
inplicor et vitiis
immemor virtutis,
voluptatis avidus
magis quam salutis,
mortuus in anima
curam gero cutis.
ira vehementi
in amaritudine
loquor mee menti:
factus de materia,
cinis elementi
similis sum folio,
de quo ludunt venti.
Cum sit enim proprium
viro sapienti
supra petram ponere
sedem fundamenti,
stultus ego comparor
fluvio labenti,
sub eodem tramite
nunquam permanenti.
Feror ego veluti
sine nauta navis,
ut per vias aeris
vaga fertur avis;
non me tenent vincula,
non me tenet clavis,
quero mihi similes
et adiungor pravis.
Mihi cordis gravitas
res videtur gravis;
iocis est amabilis
dulciorque favis;
quicquid Venus imperat,
labor est suavis,
que nunquam in cordibus
habitat ignavis.
Via lata gradior
more iuventutis
inplicor et vitiis
immemor virtutis,
voluptatis avidus
magis quam salutis,
mortuus in anima
curam gero cutis.
Post ID: 108420418838485316
I recovered by the time I reached Greece but it seems Singapore's air is making me sick again. Or maybe it's the remnants of the Doxycycline *grumble*
Anyhow, pinched the following off someone's LJ. The answers to some of the questions could possibly be quite private, so I don't know how people can leave them in public comment spaces. If anyone cares to answer the questions, you can leave them in the comments space or email them to me :)
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal [Ed: Or blog. Or Xanga. Or blogdrive. Blah blah blah] and see what I say about you?
Medicine and Proselytizing
A legal question - "I think that psychics, astrologers, Tarot readers, etc. have legal limitations to what they can promise (in some countries at least). Is there or should there be a limit to what religions can promise?"
Into battle with Alexander - "Oliver Stone is turning the deeds of Alexander the Great into a sword and sandals epic. Historian Robin Lane Fox agreed to advise on period detail — just as long as he could lead the cavalry"
Anyhow, pinched the following off someone's LJ. The answers to some of the questions could possibly be quite private, so I don't know how people can leave them in public comment spaces. If anyone cares to answer the questions, you can leave them in the comments space or email them to me :)
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal [Ed: Or blog. Or Xanga. Or blogdrive. Blah blah blah] and see what I say about you?
Medicine and Proselytizing
A legal question - "I think that psychics, astrologers, Tarot readers, etc. have legal limitations to what they can promise (in some countries at least). Is there or should there be a limit to what religions can promise?"
Into battle with Alexander - "Oliver Stone is turning the deeds of Alexander the Great into a sword and sandals epic. Historian Robin Lane Fox agreed to advise on period detail — just as long as he could lead the cavalry"
Post ID: 108412506219724738
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Currently in Kalambaka, at the slopes of the monasteries of Meteora after a stroll through the streets following dinner.
The weather's cool, though not as invigorating as I would like.
To Delphi and the Oracle tomorrow. Mayhap, after imbibing the vision-inducing fumes of sulphur from the vents in the earth, I will gain Cassandra-like powers to fortell the future.
The weather's cool, though not as invigorating as I would like.
To Delphi and the Oracle tomorrow. Mayhap, after imbibing the vision-inducing fumes of sulphur from the vents in the earth, I will gain Cassandra-like powers to fortell the future.
Post ID: 108360629200969100
Friday, April 30, 2004
Responsorium: O Vis aeternitatis
Vis aeternitatis
que omnia ordinasti in corde tuo,
per verbum tuum omnia creata sunt
sicut voluisti,
et ipsum verbum tuum
induit carnem
in formatione illa
que educta est de Adam.
Vis aeternitatis
Vis aeternitatis.
--- Hildegard von Bingen, Canticles of Ecstasy
I hope I recover by the time I reach Greece.
Ugh.
Vis aeternitatis
que omnia ordinasti in corde tuo,
per verbum tuum omnia creata sunt
sicut voluisti,
et ipsum verbum tuum
induit carnem
in formatione illa
que educta est de Adam.
Vis aeternitatis
Vis aeternitatis.
--- Hildegard von Bingen, Canticles of Ecstasy
I hope I recover by the time I reach Greece.
Ugh.
Post ID: 108333579724638107
On Poor Suffering's last working day, I got him to attempt to draw my blood again. Valiantly, he aimed for a vein in my right cubital fossa (the inside of the elbow joint) but missed. In a supreme exercise of will, skill and concentration, he then aimed for the vein between the 3rd and 4th knuckles of my left hand, and despite the slow blood flow, it was a success! After 8 attempts on various occasions, my blood has finally been successfully drawn. As a side note, I must comment that it does hurt less when you're not writhing, shouting and screaming *shrug* The more times it's done, the less painful it is.
The men in the combat companies are all made to wake up at 530am, so they all end up going to the cookhouse at the same time and since the cookhouse doesn't have enough space to accommodate them all at the same time, everyone ends up sitting outside waiting for their turn. Seemingly, the thought to stagger the reveille and breakfast timings for greater efficiency has not occured to any of those in a position to decide these things, and those who suggest something of the sort are met with the old rebuff: "You are soldiers", which is implicitly translated to mean "You must do stupid things even if there is a better way to get the job done".
I went to Sungei Gedong's Emart and I was shocked, for it was the fullest that I've ever seen. Almost all the shelves were overflowing, and there must have been at least 6 full boxes of black socks (an item that hasn't been in stock for maybe a year). The reason for this cornucopia? Since April 1st, everyone has been required to use their MIW password for Emart credit purchases instead of signing for them, and I'm one of the few who know theirs. While I was there, there was a group of Warrant Officers who kept trying their passwords, only to be annoyed when the system rejected them, and astounded when mine worked. I suspect it's a measure ST Logistics implemented to save money after seeing SAF PT shoes on everyone from Secondary School Girls to Retirees.
Wise Jiax commented during BMT that "you will definitely develop a new branch of your personality. The question is whether it remains or not". I wonder if the changes have been so subtle or solely internalised that only I have noticed. I wonder how long it will take for the wounds that slavery, especially the last 10 months in 42, has inflicted on me to heal, or indeed if I can ever fully recover.
Innocence, once lost, can never be regained.
Quotes:
[Me: How many of your female friends cut their hair after breaking up or undergoing some great emotional change?] All
[On Exercise Minotaur] Bring back some World Cup Souvenirs [Me: World Cup? Don't you mean Olympics?]
[Me to someone on Exericse Minotaur] I'll get you a pickled olive
Dogs have penis ah? (penises)
Exercise Minotaur (Rough Plan)
Day 1 - Flight there, Athens
Day 2 - Athens Sightseeing (Acropolis, Parthenon, Temple of Nike Apteron etc)
Day 3 - Athens-Kalambaka (Thermopylae, monastries of Meteora)
Day 4 - Kalambaka-Delphi (Thessaly, Delphi)
Day 5 - Delphi-Olympia
Day 6 - Olympia-Athens (Mycenae, Corinth Canal)
Day 7 - Athens/Full day Island Cruise (Aegina, Poros, Hydra)
Day 8/9 - Athens, flight back (?)
Things I would also like to see: Crete and Knossus, Rhodes, Ephesus, Troy, Thebes, Sparta, Salamis, Delos, Thera
Raffles Junior College: Move and Groove
Pity I won't be able to attend this.
Law Question someone got for the written admissions test:
"Unconsential sex constitutes rape but according to singapore's criminal law, a husbad who has sex with his wife, regardless of whether it is against her will, is considered lawful. What are the arguments for and against this law and will you change the law? What are your reasons for doing/not doing so?"
So it turns out that what I told Sanje last time was wrong.
If this is the case (another holdover from our Victorian legal system, doubtless, together with caning and the Unnatural Sex law), what's to stop men raping their wives willy-nilly?
Announcement: If anyone has any popular and especially disingenuous inspirational stories, please send them to me, for I feel like writing another parody.
The men in the combat companies are all made to wake up at 530am, so they all end up going to the cookhouse at the same time and since the cookhouse doesn't have enough space to accommodate them all at the same time, everyone ends up sitting outside waiting for their turn. Seemingly, the thought to stagger the reveille and breakfast timings for greater efficiency has not occured to any of those in a position to decide these things, and those who suggest something of the sort are met with the old rebuff: "You are soldiers", which is implicitly translated to mean "You must do stupid things even if there is a better way to get the job done".
I went to Sungei Gedong's Emart and I was shocked, for it was the fullest that I've ever seen. Almost all the shelves were overflowing, and there must have been at least 6 full boxes of black socks (an item that hasn't been in stock for maybe a year). The reason for this cornucopia? Since April 1st, everyone has been required to use their MIW password for Emart credit purchases instead of signing for them, and I'm one of the few who know theirs. While I was there, there was a group of Warrant Officers who kept trying their passwords, only to be annoyed when the system rejected them, and astounded when mine worked. I suspect it's a measure ST Logistics implemented to save money after seeing SAF PT shoes on everyone from Secondary School Girls to Retirees.
Wise Jiax commented during BMT that "you will definitely develop a new branch of your personality. The question is whether it remains or not". I wonder if the changes have been so subtle or solely internalised that only I have noticed. I wonder how long it will take for the wounds that slavery, especially the last 10 months in 42, has inflicted on me to heal, or indeed if I can ever fully recover.
Innocence, once lost, can never be regained.
Quotes:
[Me: How many of your female friends cut their hair after breaking up or undergoing some great emotional change?] All
[On Exercise Minotaur] Bring back some World Cup Souvenirs [Me: World Cup? Don't you mean Olympics?]
[Me to someone on Exericse Minotaur] I'll get you a pickled olive
Dogs have penis ah? (penises)
Exercise Minotaur (Rough Plan)
Day 1 - Flight there, Athens
Day 2 - Athens Sightseeing (Acropolis, Parthenon, Temple of Nike Apteron etc)
Day 3 - Athens-Kalambaka (Thermopylae, monastries of Meteora)
Day 4 - Kalambaka-Delphi (Thessaly, Delphi)
Day 5 - Delphi-Olympia
Day 6 - Olympia-Athens (Mycenae, Corinth Canal)
Day 7 - Athens/Full day Island Cruise (Aegina, Poros, Hydra)
Day 8/9 - Athens, flight back (?)
Things I would also like to see: Crete and Knossus, Rhodes, Ephesus, Troy, Thebes, Sparta, Salamis, Delos, Thera
Raffles Junior College: Move and Groove
Pity I won't be able to attend this.
Law Question someone got for the written admissions test:
"Unconsential sex constitutes rape but according to singapore's criminal law, a husbad who has sex with his wife, regardless of whether it is against her will, is considered lawful. What are the arguments for and against this law and will you change the law? What are your reasons for doing/not doing so?"
So it turns out that what I told Sanje last time was wrong.
If this is the case (another holdover from our Victorian legal system, doubtless, together with caning and the Unnatural Sex law), what's to stop men raping their wives willy-nilly?
Announcement: If anyone has any popular and especially disingenuous inspirational stories, please send them to me, for I feel like writing another parody.
Post ID: 108332491067609646
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Weird Stories
Human Kleenex - Dubya uses someone else's sweater to clean his glasses during a commercial break on the David Letterman show. The nerve!
Teacher probed in assault resigns - "A Newton County alternative school teacher resigned this week after students threw... a 14-year-old classmate - out a first-floor window, allegedly at her direction.
She allegedly opened a window and encouraged the seven other students in her language arts class to toss their classmate out of the room. Several boys did.
The story, as described in the police report, is that Peoples had taken a picture of several of her students. When a student asked her why, Peoples allegedly said it was so she could 'show the world your ugly asses.'"
Scientist nabbed for SARS scam - Weldong Xu, 38, a former Dana-Farber researcher and Harvard University professor allegedly bilked 35 students, co-workers, friends and Internet pals out of $600,000 he claimed would help launch a SARS research institute in China. He used the money to invest in a questionable Nigerian business offer he received via e-mail that promised a $50 million profit. (A Harvard professor falling for the Nigerian scam? Now I've heard everything)
Bear bites boy; boy fights back - "15-year-old punches brown bear"
Robot clash reveals cultural divide - "The competitions seemed to break down along cultural lines. The Japanese robots reigned supreme when it came to sumo-wrestling, while the European teams showed off their skills on the football pitch. As for the American machines, they specialised in demolishing the living hell out of each other in one-on-one robot combat."
Islamic mobile now available for Lebanese consumers - "The high-tech flip-top does more than point devout users in the direction of Mecca from 5,000 cities worldwide. It also stores the entire Koran and is equipped with a Yamaha sound system that can be programmed to play the crooning Islamic call to prayer, or Azan, up to five times per day."
Weird Sites
Animal Yawns
"Cute" Bentos - There's a Powerpuff Girls one
Wing Music - "Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along. I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music."
I would sorely like to believe that this is a joke. *puke* Sorry, but her renditions are simply atrocious.
Misc
???? - Return of the Condor Heroes' text. Isn't this against copyright laws? Ah, but the Chinese never care much for copyright.
Affirmative Action Around the World - "Affirmative Action Around the World is exactly what its title announces: an empirical study of what the consequences really are, and really have been, in the five major nations in which "affirmative action"—the term now commonly used to denote ethnic preferences—has been long ensconced: India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Nigeria, and the United States."
A review of an interesting sounding book I will never get down to reading.
Tale of Villainy
Before I left for Brunei almost a month ago, I'd noticed my system startup had suddenly slowed down, and it would take at least half a minute for Windows XP to get past the logon screen. My father's account was similarly affected.
At first, I thought that this was one of the inevitable screwups introduced into Windows through my constant testing of new software. After my return, though, I noticed that many advertisements popups seemed to be manifesting themselves when I was using Mozilla, and some of them were even in the form of Shockwave Flash objects. At the same time, my father was complaining of the same problem, with a recurring ad popping up, warning of memory leaks and offering expensive software to plug them. Suspiciously, every time this ad would appear, the system would soon slow down and become unusable, with insufficient memory to even close extant windows.
Fortuitously, a Rundll dialog box popped up ever now and then, notifying me of an error with "c:\windows\system32\kzcom.cpy.dll". Some investigation revealed that it was signed by NicTech Networks Inc. I tried deleting it and its twin - kzcom.dll, but they were in use by the system. Searches for the errant DLL on Google revealed nothing, but searching "NicTech" brought me to a Computer Cops thread (http://computercops.biz/postt31836.html) which revealed the extent of NicTech's villany (including DLLs with randomly generated names so searching for the DLL name for aid would net no results) and more importantly, contained instructions for stoping NicTech's menace.
Is there no evil that Man is incapable of?
Ding Dong Song
Full music video for Ding Dong Song (NB: Link is unreliable)
"The video for the Ding Dong song is weird. Blurry lesbians having dry sex (nothing wrong there)...but then the bastard son of Freddie Mercury and a stereotypical 70s porn star starts singing about his ding dong. I had to cover my little sister's eyes."
"I liked The Ding Dong Song. It trod that line between satire and crapness rather well I thought. Esp when the video did that whole German cocaine disco mirror satin moustache and orgy thing.
Wunderbar.
And you can never have too many cork popping champagne pseudo crotch shots either. Except when it's in a Robbie Williams video."
It's hilarious. I can't stop laughing. At the end, just like in the flash game, the 2 girls start rubbing the champagne bottle and it explodes
But who is Freddie Mercury?
Human Kleenex - Dubya uses someone else's sweater to clean his glasses during a commercial break on the David Letterman show. The nerve!
Teacher probed in assault resigns - "A Newton County alternative school teacher resigned this week after students threw... a 14-year-old classmate - out a first-floor window, allegedly at her direction.
She allegedly opened a window and encouraged the seven other students in her language arts class to toss their classmate out of the room. Several boys did.
The story, as described in the police report, is that Peoples had taken a picture of several of her students. When a student asked her why, Peoples allegedly said it was so she could 'show the world your ugly asses.'"
Scientist nabbed for SARS scam - Weldong Xu, 38, a former Dana-Farber researcher and Harvard University professor allegedly bilked 35 students, co-workers, friends and Internet pals out of $600,000 he claimed would help launch a SARS research institute in China. He used the money to invest in a questionable Nigerian business offer he received via e-mail that promised a $50 million profit. (A Harvard professor falling for the Nigerian scam? Now I've heard everything)
Bear bites boy; boy fights back - "15-year-old punches brown bear"
Robot clash reveals cultural divide - "The competitions seemed to break down along cultural lines. The Japanese robots reigned supreme when it came to sumo-wrestling, while the European teams showed off their skills on the football pitch. As for the American machines, they specialised in demolishing the living hell out of each other in one-on-one robot combat."
Islamic mobile now available for Lebanese consumers - "The high-tech flip-top does more than point devout users in the direction of Mecca from 5,000 cities worldwide. It also stores the entire Koran and is equipped with a Yamaha sound system that can be programmed to play the crooning Islamic call to prayer, or Azan, up to five times per day."
Weird Sites
Animal Yawns
"Cute" Bentos - There's a Powerpuff Girls one
Wing Music - "Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along. I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music."
I would sorely like to believe that this is a joke. *puke* Sorry, but her renditions are simply atrocious.
Misc
???? - Return of the Condor Heroes' text. Isn't this against copyright laws? Ah, but the Chinese never care much for copyright.
Affirmative Action Around the World - "Affirmative Action Around the World is exactly what its title announces: an empirical study of what the consequences really are, and really have been, in the five major nations in which "affirmative action"—the term now commonly used to denote ethnic preferences—has been long ensconced: India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Nigeria, and the United States."
A review of an interesting sounding book I will never get down to reading.
Tale of Villainy
Before I left for Brunei almost a month ago, I'd noticed my system startup had suddenly slowed down, and it would take at least half a minute for Windows XP to get past the logon screen. My father's account was similarly affected.
At first, I thought that this was one of the inevitable screwups introduced into Windows through my constant testing of new software. After my return, though, I noticed that many advertisements popups seemed to be manifesting themselves when I was using Mozilla, and some of them were even in the form of Shockwave Flash objects. At the same time, my father was complaining of the same problem, with a recurring ad popping up, warning of memory leaks and offering expensive software to plug them. Suspiciously, every time this ad would appear, the system would soon slow down and become unusable, with insufficient memory to even close extant windows.
Fortuitously, a Rundll dialog box popped up ever now and then, notifying me of an error with "c:\windows\system32\kzcom.cpy.dll". Some investigation revealed that it was signed by NicTech Networks Inc. I tried deleting it and its twin - kzcom.dll, but they were in use by the system. Searches for the errant DLL on Google revealed nothing, but searching "NicTech" brought me to a Computer Cops thread (http://computercops.biz/postt31836.html) which revealed the extent of NicTech's villany (including DLLs with randomly generated names so searching for the DLL name for aid would net no results) and more importantly, contained instructions for stoping NicTech's menace.
Is there no evil that Man is incapable of?
Ding Dong Song
Full music video for Ding Dong Song (NB: Link is unreliable)
"The video for the Ding Dong song is weird. Blurry lesbians having dry sex (nothing wrong there)...but then the bastard son of Freddie Mercury and a stereotypical 70s porn star starts singing about his ding dong. I had to cover my little sister's eyes."
"I liked The Ding Dong Song. It trod that line between satire and crapness rather well I thought. Esp when the video did that whole German cocaine disco mirror satin moustache and orgy thing.
Wunderbar.
And you can never have too many cork popping champagne pseudo crotch shots either. Except when it's in a Robbie Williams video."
It's hilarious. I can't stop laughing. At the end, just like in the flash game, the 2 girls start rubbing the champagne bottle and it explodes
But who is Freddie Mercury?
Post ID: 108323989528227652
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I'm not a fan of his, in fact I haven't read any of his books, but I was mildly surprised to find out that Phillip K Dick was on drugs.
It seems many persons of prominence or talent are either dysfunctional or deviant (as judged by society), one way or another. For example, Alan Turing was gay (and committed suicide), Pee Wee Herman was arrested for jerking off at the South Trail Cinema (an XXX theatre), the Beatles were on drugs and Adlai Stevenson killed a 12 year old girl at a Christmas party (no, really).
Are dysfunction and deviancy side effects of genius and/or success, or a pre-requisite, I wonder?
HK Property Tycoon Says He Is Opposed To Political Change
"Chan also argued that because about half of the city's population is poorly educated and living in government-subsidized housing, expanding the number of popularly elected lawmakers would lead to it being dominated by those determined to expand welfare benefits."
Bah.
Me and my big mouth. I sent a message to Soulseek asking why I got 30.5 days of privileges free and they took them away from me.
Boo hoo.
Unusual Celebrity Deaths
My favourite ones (and this is only the first sixth of the list):
Sherwood Anderson - writer
1941 --- after swallowing a toothpick at a cocktail party he died of peritonitis on an ocean liner bound for Brazil.
Sir Francis Bacon
1626 --- pneumonia. He was experimenting with freezing a chicken by stuffing it with snow.
Kimberly Bergalis
1991 --- died of AIDS. She had contracted the disease from her dentist.
Salvatore "Sonny" Bono
1998 --- crashed into a tree while skiing.
Catherine the Great - Empress of Russia
1796 --- a stroke, while going to the bathroom.
Anton Joseph Cermak - mayor of Chicago
1933 --- assassinated by accident when riding with Franklin Roosevelt in motorcade.
Lucky I'm off tomorrow... I still feel sick, have no appetite and just now felt a bit cold, in a slight relapse of monday night's chills.
It seems many persons of prominence or talent are either dysfunctional or deviant (as judged by society), one way or another. For example, Alan Turing was gay (and committed suicide), Pee Wee Herman was arrested for jerking off at the South Trail Cinema (an XXX theatre), the Beatles were on drugs and Adlai Stevenson killed a 12 year old girl at a Christmas party (no, really).
Are dysfunction and deviancy side effects of genius and/or success, or a pre-requisite, I wonder?
HK Property Tycoon Says He Is Opposed To Political Change
"Chan also argued that because about half of the city's population is poorly educated and living in government-subsidized housing, expanding the number of popularly elected lawmakers would lead to it being dominated by those determined to expand welfare benefits."
Bah.
Me and my big mouth. I sent a message to Soulseek asking why I got 30.5 days of privileges free and they took them away from me.
Boo hoo.
Unusual Celebrity Deaths
My favourite ones (and this is only the first sixth of the list):
Sherwood Anderson - writer
1941 --- after swallowing a toothpick at a cocktail party he died of peritonitis on an ocean liner bound for Brazil.
Sir Francis Bacon
1626 --- pneumonia. He was experimenting with freezing a chicken by stuffing it with snow.
Kimberly Bergalis
1991 --- died of AIDS. She had contracted the disease from her dentist.
Salvatore "Sonny" Bono
1998 --- crashed into a tree while skiing.
Catherine the Great - Empress of Russia
1796 --- a stroke, while going to the bathroom.
Anton Joseph Cermak - mayor of Chicago
1933 --- assassinated by accident when riding with Franklin Roosevelt in motorcade.
Lucky I'm off tomorrow... I still feel sick, have no appetite and just now felt a bit cold, in a slight relapse of monday night's chills.
Post ID: 108316101999653733
He Who MUST Not Be Named:
'an amusing line from huntington's "Clash of Civilizations" (commenting on how lky and mahathir at one point were riding high on the "asian values" bandwagon as being superior to decadent western ways)
'"To East Asians, economic prosperity is proof of moral superiority. If at some point India supplants East Asia as the world's most rapidly developing economic area, the world should be prepared for extended disquisitions on the superiority of Hindu cutlure, the contributions of the caste system to economic development, and how by returning to its roots and overcoming the deadening Western legacy left by British imperialism, India finally achieved its proper place in the top rank of civilisations. Cultural assertion follows material success; hard power generates soft power.'
LONDON (Reuters) - Two Scottish teenage boys escaped a jail sentence for breaking into the tomb of one of Scotland's most violent noblemen and taking a skull to use as a ventriloquist's dummy.
Sonny Devlin, 17, and a 15-year-old boy who cannot be named for legal reasons, were put on probation for three and two years respectively under the ancient crime of "violation of sepulchre" -- the first such trial for over a century, newspapers said on Saturday.
Last June, the boys broke into the mausoleum of Sir George "Bloody" MacKenzie, a senior official of Charles II who died in 1691. He earned his nickname for his zealous persecution of Presbyterians.
The court heard the crime was motivated by "immature and drunken bravado more than anything sinister." The boys were accused of stealing the unidentified skull, using it "like a glove puppet" and then throwing it away.
In April last year, I commented:
More New Age management junk: Walmart calls its employees "associates" who "[share] in the company's prosperity". And of course, Singaporeans are being urged to learn from this - if you can't pay your employees decent wages, why not indulge in meaningless, cost-free measures!
I was reminded of this by something I read:
"A newly hired "associate", as Wal-Mart calls its employees, could earn as little as $8 an hour, some 20-30% less than unionised workers at rival supermarkets. Union members might also have benefits, such as health-care insurance... Among other suits, Wal-Mart's most recent class-action suits alleging violations of the Fair Labour Standards Act, including forcing employees to work 'off the clock' and failing to provide work breaks; eight further putative suits alleging that the firm failed to pay overtime; and a suit that could prove costly alleging discrimination against its female employees."
So much for "associates" who "[share] in the company's prosperity".
'an amusing line from huntington's "Clash of Civilizations" (commenting on how lky and mahathir at one point were riding high on the "asian values" bandwagon as being superior to decadent western ways)
'"To East Asians, economic prosperity is proof of moral superiority. If at some point India supplants East Asia as the world's most rapidly developing economic area, the world should be prepared for extended disquisitions on the superiority of Hindu cutlure, the contributions of the caste system to economic development, and how by returning to its roots and overcoming the deadening Western legacy left by British imperialism, India finally achieved its proper place in the top rank of civilisations. Cultural assertion follows material success; hard power generates soft power.'
LONDON (Reuters) - Two Scottish teenage boys escaped a jail sentence for breaking into the tomb of one of Scotland's most violent noblemen and taking a skull to use as a ventriloquist's dummy.
Sonny Devlin, 17, and a 15-year-old boy who cannot be named for legal reasons, were put on probation for three and two years respectively under the ancient crime of "violation of sepulchre" -- the first such trial for over a century, newspapers said on Saturday.
Last June, the boys broke into the mausoleum of Sir George "Bloody" MacKenzie, a senior official of Charles II who died in 1691. He earned his nickname for his zealous persecution of Presbyterians.
The court heard the crime was motivated by "immature and drunken bravado more than anything sinister." The boys were accused of stealing the unidentified skull, using it "like a glove puppet" and then throwing it away.
In April last year, I commented:
More New Age management junk: Walmart calls its employees "associates" who "[share] in the company's prosperity". And of course, Singaporeans are being urged to learn from this - if you can't pay your employees decent wages, why not indulge in meaningless, cost-free measures!
I was reminded of this by something I read:
"A newly hired "associate", as Wal-Mart calls its employees, could earn as little as $8 an hour, some 20-30% less than unionised workers at rival supermarkets. Union members might also have benefits, such as health-care insurance... Among other suits, Wal-Mart's most recent class-action suits alleging violations of the Fair Labour Standards Act, including forcing employees to work 'off the clock' and failing to provide work breaks; eight further putative suits alleging that the firm failed to pay overtime; and a suit that could prove costly alleging discrimination against its female employees."
So much for "associates" who "[share] in the company's prosperity".
Post ID: 108311699394290003
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Papa Smurf is a Communist
"I like most of my generation grew up watching the Smurfs. I loved them so much that I tuned in every Saturday mourning to see what crazy hy-jinx those lovable little blue creatures would get up to. It is just now that I have realized what I was really tuning into each and every Saturday morning was in actuality Communist Propaganda!! Yes that is correct, Papa Smurf and all of his little smurf minions are not the happy little characters Hanna Barbara would have us believe! The cartoon was really created by the Russian government in order to indoctrinate the youngest members of western society with communist beliefs and ideals thus destroying their resistance to the imminent Russian invasion that was to occur when this generation (my generation) grew up. Looking back, our resistance was not destroyed (only our happy childhood memories) but only due to the determination of other cartoons such as G.I. Joe and Richie Rich who's goal it was to instill in the children of the western world the morals and values of Capitalism."
Smurfian Society: "The Smurfs have no currency and every thing is shared equally between them. notice that all of the Smurfs dress exactly the same in the same standard issue white pants and hat. It is nearly impossible to tell one smurf from another. This demonstrated the idea of total equality and that every member of the society was as important as the others. The Smurfs made communism look like a great form of government because all of the Smurfs seemed happy and there was no poverty or any crime. This was a ploy of the communist creators of the Smurfs that was used to turn the North American children on to the idea of communism... The Smurfs put forth a definite anti-capitalism message in their shows. One need only look a value of certain Smurfs in the society to see this; Who was portrayed negatively on the show? greedy and vanity that's who! And why were these particular Smurfs frowned upon? Well Greedy took for himself and like to eat allot. Is that a reason to condemn him? I think not he still did allot of good for the society; he did cook for them all did he not!! The case of vanity is even more disturbing! Who do you think the smurf that wore a flower in his hair and looked in the mirror all day represented?? Vanity was a homosexual of course and he was constantly put down which taught the young generation of would be North American communists that homosexuality would not be tolerated in this society."
Papa Smurf: "I sure as hell don't remember Papa Smurf being elected leader nor was there ever an election to decide if he should remain leader. Stalin's appearance also highly resembles that of Papa Smurf. His beard may not be as perfect as that of Marx but look at that round face!!"
Brainy: "The most disturbing but solid proof that the Smurfs are communist propaganda is the striking resemblance that Brainy Smurf bears to Trotsky... His ideas always got him into trouble and I believe that if the show had been continued he would have eventually been assassinated as well."
Gargamel: "The comparison between Gargamel and the capitalists is as cut and dry as they come. Gargamel wanted to catch the "good happy little Smurfs" and boil them so they would turn into gold. Basically the communist creator of the Smurfs wanted to portray capitalists as evil bastards whose prime goal in life was the accumulation of wealth... Gargamel also had a Jewish look to him."
Freud's Views on the Sexual Instinct and Politics
find out more at atheists.meetup.com
Youtouchmytralala amuses me so much, I will link to it again:
Günther Branlutte
Quan Teng got 130s, even with the lousy mouse in MO Room 1! But I can get 89s at home.
The cheap Euro techno music is just so funny, and the way the guy tilts his head reminds me of my idol, Wo-Hen Nankan.
Anyhow, as I suspected, "You touch my Tralala" is a real song. It was from the 80s but apparently has just been re-released, with several even more sleasy remixes. I found it on Soulseek under the name "Ding Dong Song" by the artiste "Günther & the Sunshine Girls".
Other possible artists: Günther & the Sunshine Girls Rocks, Art Company, Phill & company
Transcription of Lyrics:
*Surreal, synthesiser intro*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding ding dong
*Irritating techno intro kicks up*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some love.
Dedededeep in the night, I'm looking for some fun,
Deep in the night i´m looking for some... *bleep*
*Sudden change of background beat and tune*
Sickly sweet, slutty female voice: You tease me, oh please me,
I want you - be my lovetoy
Come near me, don't hear (?) me,
I just can't get enough of you boy.
*Switch back to original tempo and background*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding dong
*Irritating drum refrain*
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some love.
Sickly sweet, slutty female voice: You tease me, oh please me,
I want you - be my lovetoy
Come near me, don't hear (?) me,
I just can't get enough of you boy.
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding dong
*Different techno refrain*
Muffled sickly sweet, slutty female voice: ding ding dong
Sexy male voice: Mm, my ding ding dong x 2
Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Mmm, my ding ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala (repeat last 2 lines ad infinitum, ad nauseum, with finale of single, pure note played in background without a beat)
And if you think that's funny, wait till you see the Music Video
I'm beginning to see a pattern in these Eurotrash songs.
My top 3 funniest songs of all time list now reads:
3) Cantaloop (Instrumental version)
2) E-Rotic - Max Don't Have Sex With Your Ex
1) Günther - Ding Dong Song
"I like most of my generation grew up watching the Smurfs. I loved them so much that I tuned in every Saturday mourning to see what crazy hy-jinx those lovable little blue creatures would get up to. It is just now that I have realized what I was really tuning into each and every Saturday morning was in actuality Communist Propaganda!! Yes that is correct, Papa Smurf and all of his little smurf minions are not the happy little characters Hanna Barbara would have us believe! The cartoon was really created by the Russian government in order to indoctrinate the youngest members of western society with communist beliefs and ideals thus destroying their resistance to the imminent Russian invasion that was to occur when this generation (my generation) grew up. Looking back, our resistance was not destroyed (only our happy childhood memories) but only due to the determination of other cartoons such as G.I. Joe and Richie Rich who's goal it was to instill in the children of the western world the morals and values of Capitalism."
Smurfian Society: "The Smurfs have no currency and every thing is shared equally between them. notice that all of the Smurfs dress exactly the same in the same standard issue white pants and hat. It is nearly impossible to tell one smurf from another. This demonstrated the idea of total equality and that every member of the society was as important as the others. The Smurfs made communism look like a great form of government because all of the Smurfs seemed happy and there was no poverty or any crime. This was a ploy of the communist creators of the Smurfs that was used to turn the North American children on to the idea of communism... The Smurfs put forth a definite anti-capitalism message in their shows. One need only look a value of certain Smurfs in the society to see this; Who was portrayed negatively on the show? greedy and vanity that's who! And why were these particular Smurfs frowned upon? Well Greedy took for himself and like to eat allot. Is that a reason to condemn him? I think not he still did allot of good for the society; he did cook for them all did he not!! The case of vanity is even more disturbing! Who do you think the smurf that wore a flower in his hair and looked in the mirror all day represented?? Vanity was a homosexual of course and he was constantly put down which taught the young generation of would be North American communists that homosexuality would not be tolerated in this society."
Papa Smurf: "I sure as hell don't remember Papa Smurf being elected leader nor was there ever an election to decide if he should remain leader. Stalin's appearance also highly resembles that of Papa Smurf. His beard may not be as perfect as that of Marx but look at that round face!!"
Brainy: "The most disturbing but solid proof that the Smurfs are communist propaganda is the striking resemblance that Brainy Smurf bears to Trotsky... His ideas always got him into trouble and I believe that if the show had been continued he would have eventually been assassinated as well."
Gargamel: "The comparison between Gargamel and the capitalists is as cut and dry as they come. Gargamel wanted to catch the "good happy little Smurfs" and boil them so they would turn into gold. Basically the communist creator of the Smurfs wanted to portray capitalists as evil bastards whose prime goal in life was the accumulation of wealth... Gargamel also had a Jewish look to him."
Freud's Views on the Sexual Instinct and Politics
find out more at atheists.meetup.com
Youtouchmytralala amuses me so much, I will link to it again:
Günther Branlutte
Quan Teng got 130s, even with the lousy mouse in MO Room 1! But I can get 89s at home.
The cheap Euro techno music is just so funny, and the way the guy tilts his head reminds me of my idol, Wo-Hen Nankan.
Anyhow, as I suspected, "You touch my Tralala" is a real song. It was from the 80s but apparently has just been re-released, with several even more sleasy remixes. I found it on Soulseek under the name "Ding Dong Song" by the artiste "Günther & the Sunshine Girls".
Other possible artists: Günther & the Sunshine Girls Rocks, Art Company, Phill & company
Transcription of Lyrics:
*Surreal, synthesiser intro*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding ding dong
*Irritating techno intro kicks up*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some love.
Dedededeep in the night, I'm looking for some fun,
Deep in the night i´m looking for some... *bleep*
*Sudden change of background beat and tune*
Sickly sweet, slutty female voice: You tease me, oh please me,
I want you - be my lovetoy
Come near me, don't hear (?) me,
I just can't get enough of you boy.
*Switch back to original tempo and background*
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding dong
*Irritating drum refrain*
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some fun
Deep in the night, I'm looking for some love.
Sickly sweet, slutty female voice: You tease me, oh please me,
I want you - be my lovetoy
Come near me, don't hear (?) me,
I just can't get enough of you boy.
Sexy male voice: Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Sexy male voice: Mmm, my ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala
Mmm, my ding dong
*Different techno refrain*
Muffled sickly sweet, slutty female voice: ding ding dong
Sexy male voice: Mm, my ding ding dong x 2
Oh, you touch my tralala
*Irritating techno rattle/turntable spin/random sound effect*
Mmm, my ding ding dong
Oh, you touch my tralala (repeat last 2 lines ad infinitum, ad nauseum, with finale of single, pure note played in background without a beat)
And if you think that's funny, wait till you see the Music Video
I'm beginning to see a pattern in these Eurotrash songs.
My top 3 funniest songs of all time list now reads:
3) Cantaloop (Instrumental version)
2) E-Rotic - Max Don't Have Sex With Your Ex
1) Günther - Ding Dong Song
Post ID: 108307756863445451
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Conversation with He Who Must Not Be Named about Knights of the Old Republic:
Me: aiyah 4000 earlier the tech is the same
lousy scientists
Him: the ebob hawk is a yt-1000. the millennium
falcon is a yt-1300, if you must know
i would say that tech hasn't improved that dramatically because thye've invented all there is to invent. once you figure out the star forge, you'll know what i mean.
but lightsabers in the future are supposed tobe more powerful. and they haven't quite got death stars yet:)
Me: star forge is even older tech right
hmm.
bah.
ah yes. even rare cortesian (did I get that right?) weaves cannot stop future lightsabers this is why we can't decapitate people with light sabers (boo hoo)
(it's just a cheapskate gameplay fudge. the mechanics of decapitation and slicing vibroblades in 2 were too hard to implement, so they resulted to this cheap fudge!)
Him: yes. bah. besides, who are we kidding?
scientific progression doesn't have to make sense if the galaxy's gone through several devastating galaxy-wide wars and has multiple civilisations wilth multiple tech levels.
well, you CAN decapitate people with light sabers in the future (and we've seenskywalker's hand getting cut off, AND darth vader getting a limb hacked unless you're saying the dark lord of the sith CAN'T affrod cortesian weave?)
i agree it's a cheap ploy against decapitation, but think about it, in the game, already melee weaponry is seriously overpowered (or should i say, ranged weaponry is seriously underpowered relative to melee). coding in jedi academy decapitation techniques would make it more unbalanced.
besides, the jedi way is not about decapitation of your foes. *righteously*
Me: yes but the republic and the jedi are presumably quite advanced unless there was an apocalyptic war, they should've advanced in 4000 years
you can run to close the distance so quickly... blasters are useless grenades too
Him: hard to say how advanced the jedi are. they don't even use ranged weaponry. and they're a monastic order focusing on jedi techniques; they don't even encourage the use of droids.
and they have advanced in some ways what. star destroyers. SUPER star destoyers. death stars.SUPER death stars. clone cylinders. shield ships. the katana fleet. that planet destroying sun crusher thing kyp durron flies in jedi academy. the galaxy gun in dark empire 2. the world-squishing gravity projection distorter in corellia in the black sun trilogy. the world devastators from dark empire 1.
hm, do i sense a certain general theme of scientific development in the star wars universe?
in fact, there would be at least two more apocalyptic wars: the Clone Wars, and the Sith WAr (the one with Exar Kun - no wait, KOTOR's just AFTER that),
re close the distance: two words- FORCE JUMP:)
stun grenades are okay. so are themral detonators. anything else is uselss. gas, plasma, cryoban, etc.. all USELESS
Me: no ranged weapons cos lightsabers can deflect the bolts or the force even
go watch star wars: clone wars haha
anyway the republic knows of blasters
the leviathan is big what! can destroy taris single handedly (at least that's the impression you get from the vid clip)
wth? I only know up to death stars. rest is extended universe. no idea
clone wars are just before new hope. I'm taking technology we see in TPM and AOTC
Him: Mandalorian repeating blaster which can, in the item description: "damage ship plating" (or was it my Jamoh Hogra's repeating blaster?) does a pitiful 10-15 points of damage compared to my fucking *Prototype* Vibroblade which can carve out 30-35points of damage on someone's hide.
yes, but primitive lousy blasters, if kotor is any comparison
it's a very old victory-class destroyer,actually. it LOOKS big; it's only about 1-1.5km long. unlike empire-class star destroyers which were 2.5km long.
TPM and AOTC are only just before new hope as well what.
Me: wth
how did you get the vibrablade to do so much damage?! the descrip doesn't say that much leh good vibrations ah
how do you know how big the leviathan is? or what class it is?
TPM and AOTC are before new hope but my point was about the apocalyptic events of the clone wars and its effect on technology
Him:
if you've seen a picture of a victory, you'd know the leviathan is obviously a customized victory - same way how the executor in return of the jedi is a "super" star destroyer
in 4000 years i'm sure some kind of devastating stih war happened. in fact, i'd point ou tthat hysperspace travle has been around for almost 100,000 years maybe there's a natural plateau beyond which technology can't develop further look at Dune:)
Me: aiyah 4000 earlier the tech is the same
lousy scientists
Him: the ebob hawk is a yt-1000. the millennium
falcon is a yt-1300, if you must know
i would say that tech hasn't improved that dramatically because thye've invented all there is to invent. once you figure out the star forge, you'll know what i mean.
but lightsabers in the future are supposed tobe more powerful. and they haven't quite got death stars yet:)
Me: star forge is even older tech right
hmm.
bah.
ah yes. even rare cortesian (did I get that right?) weaves cannot stop future lightsabers this is why we can't decapitate people with light sabers (boo hoo)
(it's just a cheapskate gameplay fudge. the mechanics of decapitation and slicing vibroblades in 2 were too hard to implement, so they resulted to this cheap fudge!)
Him: yes. bah. besides, who are we kidding?
scientific progression doesn't have to make sense if the galaxy's gone through several devastating galaxy-wide wars and has multiple civilisations wilth multiple tech levels.
well, you CAN decapitate people with light sabers in the future (and we've seenskywalker's hand getting cut off, AND darth vader getting a limb hacked unless you're saying the dark lord of the sith CAN'T affrod cortesian weave?)
i agree it's a cheap ploy against decapitation, but think about it, in the game, already melee weaponry is seriously overpowered (or should i say, ranged weaponry is seriously underpowered relative to melee). coding in jedi academy decapitation techniques would make it more unbalanced.
besides, the jedi way is not about decapitation of your foes. *righteously*
Me: yes but the republic and the jedi are presumably quite advanced unless there was an apocalyptic war, they should've advanced in 4000 years
you can run to close the distance so quickly... blasters are useless grenades too
Him: hard to say how advanced the jedi are. they don't even use ranged weaponry. and they're a monastic order focusing on jedi techniques; they don't even encourage the use of droids.
and they have advanced in some ways what. star destroyers. SUPER star destoyers. death stars.SUPER death stars. clone cylinders. shield ships. the katana fleet. that planet destroying sun crusher thing kyp durron flies in jedi academy. the galaxy gun in dark empire 2. the world-squishing gravity projection distorter in corellia in the black sun trilogy. the world devastators from dark empire 1.
hm, do i sense a certain general theme of scientific development in the star wars universe?
in fact, there would be at least two more apocalyptic wars: the Clone Wars, and the Sith WAr (the one with Exar Kun - no wait, KOTOR's just AFTER that),
re close the distance: two words- FORCE JUMP:)
stun grenades are okay. so are themral detonators. anything else is uselss. gas, plasma, cryoban, etc.. all USELESS
Me: no ranged weapons cos lightsabers can deflect the bolts or the force even
go watch star wars: clone wars haha
anyway the republic knows of blasters
the leviathan is big what! can destroy taris single handedly (at least that's the impression you get from the vid clip)
wth? I only know up to death stars. rest is extended universe. no idea
clone wars are just before new hope. I'm taking technology we see in TPM and AOTC
Him: Mandalorian repeating blaster which can, in the item description: "damage ship plating" (or was it my Jamoh Hogra's repeating blaster?) does a pitiful 10-15 points of damage compared to my fucking *Prototype* Vibroblade which can carve out 30-35points of damage on someone's hide.
yes, but primitive lousy blasters, if kotor is any comparison
it's a very old victory-class destroyer,actually. it LOOKS big; it's only about 1-1.5km long. unlike empire-class star destroyers which were 2.5km long.
TPM and AOTC are only just before new hope as well what.
Me: wth
how did you get the vibrablade to do so much damage?! the descrip doesn't say that much leh good vibrations ah
how do you know how big the leviathan is? or what class it is?
TPM and AOTC are before new hope but my point was about the apocalyptic events of the clone wars and its effect on technology
Him:
if you've seen a picture of a victory, you'd know the leviathan is obviously a customized victory - same way how the executor in return of the jedi is a "super" star destroyer
in 4000 years i'm sure some kind of devastating stih war happened. in fact, i'd point ou tthat hysperspace travle has been around for almost 100,000 years maybe there's a natural plateau beyond which technology can't develop further look at Dune:)
Post ID: 108290084616556957
The Combat Companies of 42SAR - the Cutting Edge.
Jaguar - With Force and Finesse
Kaffir - Thunder Through All
Lion - Firm and Fiery
Serval - Tour de Force
Pussy ('Paladin') - For Honour and Valor
He's got the look - "Girls, whether you like it or not, men will look at other women. It doesn't mean anything. It just means they appreciate beauty."
What can I do with CD-R discs that failed during writing? - a few interesting ideas.
Jaguar - With Force and Finesse
Kaffir - Thunder Through All
Lion - Firm and Fiery
Serval - Tour de Force
Pussy ('Paladin') - For Honour and Valor
He's got the look - "Girls, whether you like it or not, men will look at other women. It doesn't mean anything. It just means they appreciate beauty."
What can I do with CD-R discs that failed during writing? - a few interesting ideas.
Post ID: 108288230151327931
Warlock magazine #1, #2, #4 and #10 on Ebay - the current bid's £9.99. Just over a day left!
Once upon a time in Magnamund
Once upon a time, in the northern reaches of a far off world called Magnamund, there was a quiet monastery hidden in the woods. This monastery was the home of the Kai Warriors, who trained to protect their homeland from their ancient enemy, the Darklords. One fine morning, the monastery was suddenly attacked and destroyed by agents of the Darklords. There was one survivor, a monk who named himself "Lone Wolf". He decided to undertake the arduous journey to the capital, Holmgard, to warn the king.
After facing many dangers, Lone Wolf finally completed his journey. In a private audience with King Ulnar, he related the dreadful events that had transpired. King Ulnar informed Lone Wolf that he must undertake another dangerous quest: to journey to Durenor and recover the Sommerswerd, the only weapon that could ultimately defeat the Darklords.
However, despite the secrecy of the mission, word somehow leaked out. When it did, there was an ourcry from certain segments of the population. Pointy-headed academicians were quick to criticize the king for his "pre-emptive" action. A true resolution, they stated, could only be found by diplomatic means. The king was ridiculed, lambasted, and even burned in effigy. University professors worked up their well-meaning but easily brainwashed students into a frenzy. Thousands descended upon the capitol, chanting in protest. "Warmonger!" they cried. "Imperialist!" "Species-ist!" The movement quickly grew. It was especially popular among professors, students, writers, artists, actors, vegetarians, and the society for the medicinal use of Gallowbrush. These people were much more intelligent than the simple-minded peasants, merchants, shop owners, and citizens who still believed in antiquated notions such as good and evil. The king was ultimately deposed and replaced by the parliamentary "Order of Laumspur" party. "No to war, yes to healing" was their slogan. It was pretty catchy, judging by the number or people sporting pins on their tunics and all of the bumper stickers pasted on the back of carriages.
The elected leader of the new goverment was an eminent professor named Saul Stonecutter. His first act was to recall Lone Wolf from his mission and put him on trial as a "war criminal". The jury was deadlocked for weeks, but ultimately voted for a conviction, thanks in part to the compelling testimony of an individual named Vonatar. "I can't say that I condone the Darklord's attack on the Kai monastery," he stated, "Such acts are always regrettable. However, what the Kai Lords refused to understand was that it was years of their own repressive policies that ultimately led to the Darklords acting the way they did. I tried to talk some sense into them, but they banished me." Lone Wolf was sentenced to spend the rest of his days on the Daziarn Plane.
Ultimately, a "Magnamund Council" was created. This was comprised of many representatives from all over the world: Human, Darklordian, Helghastian, Giakian, Vordakian, Vassagonian, and many others. The problem was that not much was ever accomplished. Every time a new enemy ravaged and plundered a country, and military action seemed to be required, the idea was shot down by the Darklords, who used their veto power quite liberally.
THE END
Of course, we all know the real story of Lone Wolf. Such a ridiculous scenario could never really come to pass.
or COULD it????
Gaetano
From the gamebooks Yahoo Group.
Amusing, though the comparison is false.
Once upon a time in Magnamund
Once upon a time, in the northern reaches of a far off world called Magnamund, there was a quiet monastery hidden in the woods. This monastery was the home of the Kai Warriors, who trained to protect their homeland from their ancient enemy, the Darklords. One fine morning, the monastery was suddenly attacked and destroyed by agents of the Darklords. There was one survivor, a monk who named himself "Lone Wolf". He decided to undertake the arduous journey to the capital, Holmgard, to warn the king.
After facing many dangers, Lone Wolf finally completed his journey. In a private audience with King Ulnar, he related the dreadful events that had transpired. King Ulnar informed Lone Wolf that he must undertake another dangerous quest: to journey to Durenor and recover the Sommerswerd, the only weapon that could ultimately defeat the Darklords.
However, despite the secrecy of the mission, word somehow leaked out. When it did, there was an ourcry from certain segments of the population. Pointy-headed academicians were quick to criticize the king for his "pre-emptive" action. A true resolution, they stated, could only be found by diplomatic means. The king was ridiculed, lambasted, and even burned in effigy. University professors worked up their well-meaning but easily brainwashed students into a frenzy. Thousands descended upon the capitol, chanting in protest. "Warmonger!" they cried. "Imperialist!" "Species-ist!" The movement quickly grew. It was especially popular among professors, students, writers, artists, actors, vegetarians, and the society for the medicinal use of Gallowbrush. These people were much more intelligent than the simple-minded peasants, merchants, shop owners, and citizens who still believed in antiquated notions such as good and evil. The king was ultimately deposed and replaced by the parliamentary "Order of Laumspur" party. "No to war, yes to healing" was their slogan. It was pretty catchy, judging by the number or people sporting pins on their tunics and all of the bumper stickers pasted on the back of carriages.
The elected leader of the new goverment was an eminent professor named Saul Stonecutter. His first act was to recall Lone Wolf from his mission and put him on trial as a "war criminal". The jury was deadlocked for weeks, but ultimately voted for a conviction, thanks in part to the compelling testimony of an individual named Vonatar. "I can't say that I condone the Darklord's attack on the Kai monastery," he stated, "Such acts are always regrettable. However, what the Kai Lords refused to understand was that it was years of their own repressive policies that ultimately led to the Darklords acting the way they did. I tried to talk some sense into them, but they banished me." Lone Wolf was sentenced to spend the rest of his days on the Daziarn Plane.
Ultimately, a "Magnamund Council" was created. This was comprised of many representatives from all over the world: Human, Darklordian, Helghastian, Giakian, Vordakian, Vassagonian, and many others. The problem was that not much was ever accomplished. Every time a new enemy ravaged and plundered a country, and military action seemed to be required, the idea was shot down by the Darklords, who used their veto power quite liberally.
THE END
Of course, we all know the real story of Lone Wolf. Such a ridiculous scenario could never really come to pass.
or COULD it????
Gaetano
From the gamebooks Yahoo Group.
Amusing, though the comparison is false.
Post ID: 108288110111252029
[NB: For my Brunei post, kindly see the next post. Thank you.]
The Da Vinci Code
Melvin kindly lent me this book to supplement the ones I'd brought to Brunei. It was an intoxicating romp, but small things kept jarring in my mind, not least the improbable conspiracy theories and dubitable references and interpretations of cultural works. If the theories propounded were true, they would make a hell of a story, but since the author gets even some basic facts wrong, the veracity of said theories is even more questionable.
For example: "The Bible did not arrive by fax from heaven... The Bible is a product of man, my dear. Not of God. The Bible did not fall magically from the clouds. Man created it as a historical record of tumultuous times, and it has evolved through countless translations, additions and revisions. History has never had a definitive version of the book... Jesus Christ was a historical figure of staggering influence, perhaps the most enigmatic and inspirational leader the world has ever seen. As the prophesied Messiah, Jesus toppled kings, inspired millions and founded new philosophies... Understandably, His life was recorded by thousands of followers across the land... More than eighty gospels were considered for the New Testament, and yet only a relative few were chosen for inclusion - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John among them... The Bible, as we know it today, was collated by the pagan Roman emperor Constantine the Great. My dear, until that moment in history, Jesus was viewed by His followers as a mortal prophet... a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless. A mortal... Jesus' establishment as 'the Son of God' was officially proposed and voted on by the Council of Nicaea... a relatively close vote at that."
So far, so good, up till the last part - Constantine was not the one who collated the bible, and the definitive list of which gospels to include was not drawn up at Nicaea, but 42 years later in 367 AD by Athanasius, bishop of Alexandria.
Continuing,
"Constantine commissioned and financed a new Bible, which omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ's human traits and embellished those gospels that made Him godlike. The other gospels were outlawed, gathered up and burned."
Huh? Maybe he confused Constantine with Qin Shi Huang.
Later, when he starts gushing about the Little Mermaid, you *know* something is wrong:
"The Little Mermaid was a spellbinding tapestry of spiritual symbols so specifically goddess-related that they could not be coincidence; the painting in Ariel's underwater home was none other than seventeenth century artist Georges de la Tour's The Penitent Magdalene - a famous homage to the banished Mary Magdalene - fitting decor considering the movie turned out to be a ninety-minute collage of blatant symbolic references to the lost sanctity of Isis, Eve, Pisces the fish goddess, and repeatedly, Mary Magdalene. The Little Mermaid's name, Ariel, possessed powerful ties to the sacred feminine and, in the Book of Isaiah, was synonymous with 'the Holy City besieged.' Of course, the Little Mermaid's flowing red hair was certainly no coincidence either."
(See also: Dismantling The Da Vinci Code, The Last Word; The Da Vinci Con.)
The Song of Silver Frond
As I read this book, I was struck by a thought: Is it just me, or are all of Catherine Lim's books about Young Female Chinese in Singapore in the 1960s? Perhaps her books are popular in "The West" because it is novel to hear descriptions of said Females and Singapore in that era, and in Singapore because of their nostalgic value. It is a niche market.
Also, there's something about her style and literary elements that makes me take notice of them. Most authors are guilty of the same, but some people pull it off more disastrously than others (Read: David Eddings). Perhaps it's the way the supernatural is treated - in a tale set in the "Real World", naturalism should be adhered to more strictly. Or perhaps it is the awkward metaphors and similes Or maybe it's the interjections and the refrains, which lend the narrative a plodding value at times. Some find them charming, but I find that they weigh the story down. Perhaps an extract will illustrate my point:
"Her fate had led her to this man, and to this failure. Even as she raised her hand in bitter remonstrance, she bowed it in weary submission. Her mother, and her mother's mother, too, had said in their time, 'it is our fate,' submitting to a decree from heaven on high, rolling inexorably down the generations, that said to women, 'Endure'."
That said, I appreciated the description of the hypocrisy of the Chinese ritual of false modesty or reluctance in the face of equally false praise or entreaties, and how both parties then engage in a charade of equally insincere protestations and assertations.
The plot of the book is another issue, however. The book is a celebration of the joys of pedophilia, the thrill of courting an innocent virginal girl and the relish of corrupting hitherto untainted girlhood. Look past the romanticisation and surrealism and the book is about how a 65 year old chi go peh (Translation: Dirty Old Man) lusts after a pubescent, nay, a pre-pubescent 13 year old girl (for her menses have not even begun!) and seeks to deflower her, who is mentally as well as physically immature. If this story had taken place in modern times, there would be no joyous celebration of the power of love and how it transcends all barriers, but an arrest of the man on suspicion of statutory rape and a conviction for the crime of underage sex.
The Cretan Chronicles
I brought the first book of the series (I'm still looking for Book 3), Bloodfeud of Altheus, to Brunei and thus had ample opportunity to critique it. I must say that while I enjoy the novel premise of the book, it has many flaws.
For one, the gods often lapse into modern speech patterns. This is evidence of shoddy editing. Worse still is how Ares talks in short sentences like a cave man. It's no wonder that the series stopped at the third book.
The gameplay action known as "taking a hint" is fraught with problems. "Taking a hint" is a way of getting the character to perform a non-standard action - one not given in the text. This is an interesting idea, but ultimately a bad one, poorly implemented. How is the reader to know what the non-standard action will be?
Often, I found myself wanting to perform some seemingly obvious non-standard action, only to have my character do something entirely different or worse. For example, I was at Apollo's oracle in Delphi and when I took a non-standard action, they accused me of trying to steal Apollo's jewels! At other times, I was penalised for trying to take a non-standard action when none was written in by the authors and thus "trying to be ahead of my time", or being too "cautious", "wary", "cowardly" or "un-herolike" (how trying to take non-standard actions is being "cautious", "wary", "cowardly" or "un-herolike", I do not know).
Perhaps the worst is when the text gives you information about some aspect of Greek history and mythology and then penalises you for absolutely no reason. Case in point: I was in front of the Pythia and when I took a non-standard action, the text told me the history and lore of the Pythia, and then deducted honour from me and gave me shame points. I was supremely incensed.
The implementation is also inconsistent. Similar actions, taken during similar situations at different times in the adventure lead to results that are diametrically opposite - sometimes they are good, and the hero gets a boon, but sometimes he is penalised and awarded shame points.
At other times, the book is unfair to the reader. At one point, the Furies (strictly, the Greeks called them the Erinyes, but no one can remember that name anyay, so) are pestering this man who'd accidentally murdered his wife. Placating them with a sacrifice deducts a point of honour for perverting divine justice, but leaving the man to be attacked gets you 2 shame points. On second thought - this might be a subtle homage to Orestes for his murder of Clytemnestra, so maybe it can be forgiven.
And of course, there are the parts where things are left unresolved - something you're supposed to do doesn't get done but the text doesn't notice, for example. In most gamebooks, these are minor but in the Cretan Chronicles, somehow I noticed them.
The book also recycles not a few Greek myths and legends, so readers with a passing knowledge of some of them get an unfair advantage. For example, the book shamelessly reuses the tale of Hera posing as a crone and Jason (of Argonaut fame) carrying her across, except that it is Altheus who does the carrying this time. Furthermore, the recycling of Greek myths and legends leads to a confusing mess, for some myths that belong to different times in Greek mythology are now juxtaposed.
Despite all this, I liked the book. Maybe that tells you something about me.
What If?: The World's Foremost Military Historians Imagine What Might Have Been
I've barely started on this, but I've already read the contribution by Victor Davis Hanson, whose articles on the National Review I'm familiar with and which seem, to me, to myopically obsess about freedom for the Iraqis, ignoring socio-political history and complex realities. His chapter deals with the effect of the Battle of Salamis on the development of democracy, and he professes admiration for the Imperial Democratic ambitions of Athens (kind of how he supports the Imperial Democratic ambitions of the Neo-Cons, actually).
Reading his thoughts on how pivotal Salamis was, I can't help but note that his speculations and extrapolations seem too far-fetched. He claims that Salamis was the point where democracy shifted from being solely for rich landowners to being the domain of populists and the mob by proclaiming that the poor, knowing that they had saved the day at Salamis by rowing the Greek triremes, now demanded a greater role in Athenian democracy. Surely Salamis was a contributory factor, but I think that existing socio-economic trends were already moving democracy in that direction, as surely as the Greek poleis progressed from Monarchy to Aristocracy to Tyranny and finally to Democracy.
I remember attending a history talk in J2 on the 3 greatest military leaders of the millennium. I took issue with the speaker's points, I forgot about which leader, and after the talk approached him to point out that even if that leader had not been around, what he did would have been done by someone else. At this point, he launched into a tirade against Virtual History, as he claimed that we could not analyse his accomplishments that way, for that would be assuming that everything else would have stayed the same.
Too much virtual history is bad, yes, for people can end up speculating endlessly with little basis in reality. However, Virtual History in moderation lets us apply some scientific techniques to history's study - something which is quite important. It *is* called a soft science, after all.
Bad Ads
I saw what is possibly the worst ad in the world in Brunei. In it, mothers and children crowd a room for what seems to be an award ceremony. Suddenly, the winner of the "100% Attendance" award is announced. The jubilant child clutches his trophy. Meanwhile, the other mothers are all exclaiming about how no one has won that award before. Then the ad ends, revealing that it is promoting... Dettol.
Now, Dettol smells foul enough as it is, but now I have another reason not to use it (unless I absolutely have to, like in Brunei after my Body Shop Papaya Bath Gel got stolen).
They really should have a site featuring the worst ads from all around the world. I'm not sure if Adcritic.com still offers ads for viewing, but if it does it can take up the challenge.
Kickapoo
He Who Must Not Be Named has been caught making an astounding faux pas! Kickapoo Joy Juice is most assuredly *not* Malaysian in origin. It is made under license from the Monarch Beverage Company in Atlanta and was introduced to SEA in 1966, but according to the company it is only available in Malaysia, Brunei and Bangladesh (they seem to have left out Singapore). More's the pity.
The Da Vinci Code
Melvin kindly lent me this book to supplement the ones I'd brought to Brunei. It was an intoxicating romp, but small things kept jarring in my mind, not least the improbable conspiracy theories and dubitable references and interpretations of cultural works. If the theories propounded were true, they would make a hell of a story, but since the author gets even some basic facts wrong, the veracity of said theories is even more questionable.
For example: "The Bible did not arrive by fax from heaven... The Bible is a product of man, my dear. Not of God. The Bible did not fall magically from the clouds. Man created it as a historical record of tumultuous times, and it has evolved through countless translations, additions and revisions. History has never had a definitive version of the book... Jesus Christ was a historical figure of staggering influence, perhaps the most enigmatic and inspirational leader the world has ever seen. As the prophesied Messiah, Jesus toppled kings, inspired millions and founded new philosophies... Understandably, His life was recorded by thousands of followers across the land... More than eighty gospels were considered for the New Testament, and yet only a relative few were chosen for inclusion - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John among them... The Bible, as we know it today, was collated by the pagan Roman emperor Constantine the Great. My dear, until that moment in history, Jesus was viewed by His followers as a mortal prophet... a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless. A mortal... Jesus' establishment as 'the Son of God' was officially proposed and voted on by the Council of Nicaea... a relatively close vote at that."
So far, so good, up till the last part - Constantine was not the one who collated the bible, and the definitive list of which gospels to include was not drawn up at Nicaea, but 42 years later in 367 AD by Athanasius, bishop of Alexandria.
Continuing,
"Constantine commissioned and financed a new Bible, which omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ's human traits and embellished those gospels that made Him godlike. The other gospels were outlawed, gathered up and burned."
Huh? Maybe he confused Constantine with Qin Shi Huang.
Later, when he starts gushing about the Little Mermaid, you *know* something is wrong:
"The Little Mermaid was a spellbinding tapestry of spiritual symbols so specifically goddess-related that they could not be coincidence; the painting in Ariel's underwater home was none other than seventeenth century artist Georges de la Tour's The Penitent Magdalene - a famous homage to the banished Mary Magdalene - fitting decor considering the movie turned out to be a ninety-minute collage of blatant symbolic references to the lost sanctity of Isis, Eve, Pisces the fish goddess, and repeatedly, Mary Magdalene. The Little Mermaid's name, Ariel, possessed powerful ties to the sacred feminine and, in the Book of Isaiah, was synonymous with 'the Holy City besieged.' Of course, the Little Mermaid's flowing red hair was certainly no coincidence either."
(See also: Dismantling The Da Vinci Code, The Last Word; The Da Vinci Con.)
The Song of Silver Frond
As I read this book, I was struck by a thought: Is it just me, or are all of Catherine Lim's books about Young Female Chinese in Singapore in the 1960s? Perhaps her books are popular in "The West" because it is novel to hear descriptions of said Females and Singapore in that era, and in Singapore because of their nostalgic value. It is a niche market.
Also, there's something about her style and literary elements that makes me take notice of them. Most authors are guilty of the same, but some people pull it off more disastrously than others (Read: David Eddings). Perhaps it's the way the supernatural is treated - in a tale set in the "Real World", naturalism should be adhered to more strictly. Or perhaps it is the awkward metaphors and similes Or maybe it's the interjections and the refrains, which lend the narrative a plodding value at times. Some find them charming, but I find that they weigh the story down. Perhaps an extract will illustrate my point:
"Her fate had led her to this man, and to this failure. Even as she raised her hand in bitter remonstrance, she bowed it in weary submission. Her mother, and her mother's mother, too, had said in their time, 'it is our fate,' submitting to a decree from heaven on high, rolling inexorably down the generations, that said to women, 'Endure'."
That said, I appreciated the description of the hypocrisy of the Chinese ritual of false modesty or reluctance in the face of equally false praise or entreaties, and how both parties then engage in a charade of equally insincere protestations and assertations.
The plot of the book is another issue, however. The book is a celebration of the joys of pedophilia, the thrill of courting an innocent virginal girl and the relish of corrupting hitherto untainted girlhood. Look past the romanticisation and surrealism and the book is about how a 65 year old chi go peh (Translation: Dirty Old Man) lusts after a pubescent, nay, a pre-pubescent 13 year old girl (for her menses have not even begun!) and seeks to deflower her, who is mentally as well as physically immature. If this story had taken place in modern times, there would be no joyous celebration of the power of love and how it transcends all barriers, but an arrest of the man on suspicion of statutory rape and a conviction for the crime of underage sex.
The Cretan Chronicles
I brought the first book of the series (I'm still looking for Book 3), Bloodfeud of Altheus, to Brunei and thus had ample opportunity to critique it. I must say that while I enjoy the novel premise of the book, it has many flaws.
For one, the gods often lapse into modern speech patterns. This is evidence of shoddy editing. Worse still is how Ares talks in short sentences like a cave man. It's no wonder that the series stopped at the third book.
The gameplay action known as "taking a hint" is fraught with problems. "Taking a hint" is a way of getting the character to perform a non-standard action - one not given in the text. This is an interesting idea, but ultimately a bad one, poorly implemented. How is the reader to know what the non-standard action will be?
Often, I found myself wanting to perform some seemingly obvious non-standard action, only to have my character do something entirely different or worse. For example, I was at Apollo's oracle in Delphi and when I took a non-standard action, they accused me of trying to steal Apollo's jewels! At other times, I was penalised for trying to take a non-standard action when none was written in by the authors and thus "trying to be ahead of my time", or being too "cautious", "wary", "cowardly" or "un-herolike" (how trying to take non-standard actions is being "cautious", "wary", "cowardly" or "un-herolike", I do not know).
Perhaps the worst is when the text gives you information about some aspect of Greek history and mythology and then penalises you for absolutely no reason. Case in point: I was in front of the Pythia and when I took a non-standard action, the text told me the history and lore of the Pythia, and then deducted honour from me and gave me shame points. I was supremely incensed.
The implementation is also inconsistent. Similar actions, taken during similar situations at different times in the adventure lead to results that are diametrically opposite - sometimes they are good, and the hero gets a boon, but sometimes he is penalised and awarded shame points.
At other times, the book is unfair to the reader. At one point, the Furies (strictly, the Greeks called them the Erinyes, but no one can remember that name anyay, so) are pestering this man who'd accidentally murdered his wife. Placating them with a sacrifice deducts a point of honour for perverting divine justice, but leaving the man to be attacked gets you 2 shame points. On second thought - this might be a subtle homage to Orestes for his murder of Clytemnestra, so maybe it can be forgiven.
And of course, there are the parts where things are left unresolved - something you're supposed to do doesn't get done but the text doesn't notice, for example. In most gamebooks, these are minor but in the Cretan Chronicles, somehow I noticed them.
The book also recycles not a few Greek myths and legends, so readers with a passing knowledge of some of them get an unfair advantage. For example, the book shamelessly reuses the tale of Hera posing as a crone and Jason (of Argonaut fame) carrying her across, except that it is Altheus who does the carrying this time. Furthermore, the recycling of Greek myths and legends leads to a confusing mess, for some myths that belong to different times in Greek mythology are now juxtaposed.
Despite all this, I liked the book. Maybe that tells you something about me.
What If?: The World's Foremost Military Historians Imagine What Might Have Been
I've barely started on this, but I've already read the contribution by Victor Davis Hanson, whose articles on the National Review I'm familiar with and which seem, to me, to myopically obsess about freedom for the Iraqis, ignoring socio-political history and complex realities. His chapter deals with the effect of the Battle of Salamis on the development of democracy, and he professes admiration for the Imperial Democratic ambitions of Athens (kind of how he supports the Imperial Democratic ambitions of the Neo-Cons, actually).
Reading his thoughts on how pivotal Salamis was, I can't help but note that his speculations and extrapolations seem too far-fetched. He claims that Salamis was the point where democracy shifted from being solely for rich landowners to being the domain of populists and the mob by proclaiming that the poor, knowing that they had saved the day at Salamis by rowing the Greek triremes, now demanded a greater role in Athenian democracy. Surely Salamis was a contributory factor, but I think that existing socio-economic trends were already moving democracy in that direction, as surely as the Greek poleis progressed from Monarchy to Aristocracy to Tyranny and finally to Democracy.
I remember attending a history talk in J2 on the 3 greatest military leaders of the millennium. I took issue with the speaker's points, I forgot about which leader, and after the talk approached him to point out that even if that leader had not been around, what he did would have been done by someone else. At this point, he launched into a tirade against Virtual History, as he claimed that we could not analyse his accomplishments that way, for that would be assuming that everything else would have stayed the same.
Too much virtual history is bad, yes, for people can end up speculating endlessly with little basis in reality. However, Virtual History in moderation lets us apply some scientific techniques to history's study - something which is quite important. It *is* called a soft science, after all.
Bad Ads
I saw what is possibly the worst ad in the world in Brunei. In it, mothers and children crowd a room for what seems to be an award ceremony. Suddenly, the winner of the "100% Attendance" award is announced. The jubilant child clutches his trophy. Meanwhile, the other mothers are all exclaiming about how no one has won that award before. Then the ad ends, revealing that it is promoting... Dettol.
Now, Dettol smells foul enough as it is, but now I have another reason not to use it (unless I absolutely have to, like in Brunei after my Body Shop Papaya Bath Gel got stolen).
They really should have a site featuring the worst ads from all around the world. I'm not sure if Adcritic.com still offers ads for viewing, but if it does it can take up the challenge.
Kickapoo
He Who Must Not Be Named has been caught making an astounding faux pas! Kickapoo Joy Juice is most assuredly *not* Malaysian in origin. It is made under license from the Monarch Beverage Company in Atlanta and was introduced to SEA in 1966, but according to the company it is only available in Malaysia, Brunei and Bangladesh (they seem to have left out Singapore). More's the pity.
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