I suppose when it comes to Shawn Ban, people are divided into one of two categories - one group thinks he rocks, and another thinks he sucks. I am pretty thick skinned, so I daresay I am able to enjoy his flair (sans any sports commentary) most of the time, even when I am the target of his acerbic pen (or keyboard).

Now, in his latest entertaining stunt, he has been telling the whole world that Melvin Tay is going with Suzanne Wong. This has prompted a letter of protest from the aforementioned, who has requested that it be sent to "many many people", which is why I will reproduce it below:

"Dear Friend,

My Name is Melvin Tay. I Know you may have heard some Nasty rumours about me perpetuated by a Boy named Shawn Ban, like I Love Soozie, but it isn't true. The rumours all started here http://www.eatmejusteatme.50g.com/131.htm - Last Paragraph
The next time somebody tells u something silly, go and find out the truth for yourself. Please send this message to many many people. May peace be with you."

I am just felled with laughter.


On a more serious note he, who scolded me for my interest in a certain unfortunate tragedy, has written many paragraphs coldly analysing it. How ironic.


Boy am I lucky I signed up for Pyxz when it was still free. It's gone from being free to costing $5 for a lifetime subscription to - now - $5 a month and $45 yearly.

Wah.

Sent to me by mail:


Dear [name of a boy],

It has come to my attention that you have been selected as a potential student of ACS(I). We are indeed pleased to welcome you to our big
family. However, there are a few improvements that have to be made for you to be qualified to be one of us.

Firstly, your physical appearance needs alteration. According to our school's tradition, our attire includes:

1. spiked hair
2. pants worn on the hips
3. almost completely hidden socks
4. shirts not tucked in properly etc.

Furthermore, you must have bushy eyebrows and tan skin to be eligible. Thus, we would appeal that you make this changes ASAP.

Secondly, other than outward appearance, what goes on inside is crucial as well. We adhere struictly to our 3 acts: Act Cool, Act Attitude
and Act Poser, stressing on poser-ism as the basis of our image.

Act cool: All ACSI students are required to be adept in pretending to be cool in the way bimbos will fall for the trick, even though it is obviously not the proper definition of "cool". We do not want our students to be cool but to ACT cool. This will include mannerisms like acting nonchalant and pompous that will create the false impression that ACSI guys are indeed very desirable and good looking.

Act attitude: Due to the fact that bimbos absolutely love attitudal guys, we emphasise strongly on pretending to have attitude in our boys. You
will hence have to act like a very bad person when you are in fact an insecure and deprived person.

Act poser: AS this is the trademark of our school, it will require no further explanation.

To adhere to our school's motto "The best is yet to be", we require you to stop getting good results in school especially in the area of literature, as this opposes our motto. You will hence need to go out more with bimbos, have fun, screw around and be less concerned with your studies.

Your Chinese grades need to be extremely poor and you will have to hate it a lot. In other words, you must forget all your roots and be a perfect banana. You are also required to be rich to avoid being ostracised and looked down upon in our school. More emphasis will also be put on sports to create the false impression that ACSI guys are all rounders.

We look forward to your joining our huge ACS family and we certainly do believe you have the potential, judging by your bimbo attracting
qualities prevalent in all our students. We believe that with more posing, despising Chinese and acting, you can definitely be an outstanding representation of ACSI.

yours sincerely,
Ong Teck Chin
Principal
Anglo Chinese School (Independent)


Luciferous Logolepsy - Dragging obscure words into the light of day

Making Over Mona Lisa - Botox, Collagen, Chemical Peel and Surgery!

Top 10 Most Fascinating Urinals

May the the buggers who spam my guestbook relentlessly with ads for online casinos, viagra and porn sites wake up to find cancerous boils and lesions swarming their noses!


A question pertinent a few years back: What is Ajinomoto made of?

It's always been my fantasy to crash the counters on SBS Super Buses telling you how many seats are left upstairs, by skipping the second-to-top-step which contains the sensor.

Asian Prince's competitor?

CDex is the best CD ripper I've ever used.


Last week's weekly post will be merged with next week's due to scarcity of material.

After listening to Trevor Pinnock and his English Concert and Chorus Oratorio quick and upbeat interpretation of Handel's Messiah for so long, it's odd to be forced to listen to something else, namely the slower and more ponderous version by the St. Petersburg State Academic Symphony Orchestra (since I do not feel like listening to my sister's CD version with a Boys' Choir singing the Sop part and Male Solos for Alto-Bass, and she probably has the CDs with her anyway). There seems to be life lacking in this version, the words roll awkwardly off their tongues while their accents are quite distinctive, I can pick out individual voices, the choir strains very often, I can't hear much joy or awe in parts like "And The Glory of The Lord", the Tenors sounded like they were yawning when singing "And He Shall Reign Forever And Ever" and in "For Unto Us A Child Is Born" and I *swear* they sung, "The Prince Of Piss". All in all, it sounds like a Senior Citizens' choir.

Okay, so I'm picky. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that they're Russians.


"Chopin's first Ballade is perhaps one of the most over-performed non-sonata works in piano repertoire. So here I add another one."

Haha.

Toon Olympics


"let's have a competition shall we?
let's go on IRC and see who can get the most no. of girl's hp in 1 hour"

!@#$%^&*()


[On NUS] "its strange lor...during a role play @ orientation e seniors all say engin guys freshies all look like e nerdy type and e gals all dunno how to dress up one...so sad" - I thought he'd have expected that.


Haha my "how not to sing the song" mp3 (TBS's horribly done version of John Rutter's "The Music's Always There With You") is available for download on Kazaa from someone, even though it was wiped from my own system. It will live on forever!


I feel drained. A sad life can be tiring.

It's strange when, sometimes, when I'm in camp I want to get out, yet when I'm out I want to go back in.