Bookout post:

Restored Post

When we last left our beleaguered heroes, they were smouldering under a regimen of late bookouts, early bookins, enforced wearing of prisoners' uniform when entering and exiting the prison and numerous other restrictions. On Sunday, we got a Lights Off timing of 10pm. More serious, though, was an attempt to remove our canteen and smoking breaks (so smoking would only be permitted before and after Office Hours) for the week. However, the canteen vendors protested, as it would mean the loss of more than half their customers. Furthermore, if they'd closed for the week, the officers would not be able to have their breakfast and would become miffed. So after a day and a half, these 2 privileges were restored (though I see not how smoking has anything to do with the canteen vendors). Actually I think the withdrawal of all our privileges/rights (however you see them) might've disqualified them from the ISO certification, but then none of us would be able to tell ISO, or we'd be charged. How deliciously ironic. However, all restrictions are lifted as of Sunday night, and we don't need to book in the verify MCs anymore. Best of all, we can now bring handphones in! Took them 2 1/2 weeks but it's finally done. Tis the end of an era! SMM is the last SAF camp to allow the lowest of the low (trainees in this case) to bring in handphones. No chargers though. In Tekong they explained that away by claiming that they didn't want to overload the generators, blowing them and causing a prolonged blackout but now their true colours are revealed! They just want to save money.

When we're milling around waiting to go to the parade square for our first parade, we always see schoolgoers who are late for school. Due to its proximity, RJ students are the most common sight. Interestingly, so far we've not seen any RJ boys - it's all RJ girls. However, as I recall, girls did not make an overwhelming proportion of the latecomer crowd at RJ. Then again, it's probably because those people we see are -so- tardy that they'll miss even the last bits of morning assembly.

The lectures we get are mostly shit. The lecturers are uninteresting, conduct lectures uninterestingly (there's a difference), speak badly (both in method of delivery and English) but worst of all, they teach the wrong material! One lecturer was going on about how humans can store starch. Wth. We're not plants.

What a dispatch rider told Joshua and Guan Hong when they were living in "Heaven" (Headquarters, Medical Corp - near Gleneagles), on being a slave: "You pay me peanuts, you get a monkey".

The ever efficient SAF has finally given us our E-mart credit. Actually I was beginning to think it wouldn't come till our 1 year anniversary (of the beginning of our servitude). Now I can get new socks.

My bunk mates find it hard to believe that I hold a junior black belt in Taekwando. Hell, even I find it hard to believe.

Someone uses a New Town Secondary School exercise book, and I saw that the school song talks about Queenstown in Queensway. Now that they've moved, I wonder if they've changed the school song.

Some people ignore bothersome insects and other menacing organisms (Seeing a giant spider during area cleaning, I urged Kumar to kill it since he was wearing boots and I was in PT shoes. He just sweeped it into the grass. One more giant spider to torment us in the bunk!). Some people kill them. And some people use their lighters to burn them. The stench is unbearable!

Folie's attempts to imitate my yelps (uttered when I trip, am poked or the like) are pathetic. As are (in a different sense) people's attempts to elicit the yelps from me.

Some people came to sell us Newsweek, again, at a "SAF" price. This coming barely 2 weeks after Time tried, I have to wonder about the intelligence of the scheduling. Anyhow, everybody was very happy because they got to ogle the 2 women whom the company sent down (the man was just there to hand out pens and forms). Later I was forced to listen to their descriptions and revelations, because they were talking so loudly, I couldn't help but overhear. Apparently they thought one had a good figure and wide breasts, and the other was wearing a G-string, which could be seen because of their tight pants. Gosh, they're bored and really too deprived. I'd have thought FHM and Maxim would satisfy them, but apparently lot. Actually I suspect Righteous International sent those 2 women on purpose, and I think more people subscribed to Newsweek and the other periodicals on offer than subscribed to Time (and this considering Time had attacked first).

I think my platoon's quite lucky. We have the most reasonable sergeants, and we're not punished for little or no reason. And our bunks can be locked to keep out prying eyes! :)

Because of the scare of last week, I noticed a significantly greater number of people using the public phone (Yes, the most God forsaken one in the camp, even). I got profuse thanks from this guy who was calling his girlfriend as I let him chatter on while I was content to sit on the steps and meditate on life (Not anticipating the high demand for the phone, I'd neglected to bring along the Economist to read while waiting).

The nicest and smartest Malay in my bunk drinks beer! The transcript of the exchange will reveal more than any tract of reported speech I could write so:

"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"

Apparently, in real life, you don't shock people with the Automatic External Defibrilator (AED - I hope I got the spelling correct, also known as the machine with the 2 metal pads which in movies and TV shows, you place on the chests of patients with no pulse to shock their hearts), if they indeed have no pulse. And their bodies do not jerk. So much for the accuracy of the media!

Some people actually want to bring in food, but they're scared that the food will be ravaged by a certain group of people - "[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]."

Section 9 has a kettle, so they can drink hot drinks and eat instant noodles. Yeh.

My monthly pittance has gone up by $37.50. I wonder how much they managed to deduct in miscellaneous fees this time.

The pseudo-on-the-ball sergeant gave us his version of morning exercise again. It is tough in the extreme. Supposedly it's based on what Navy Seals do, except that they do 10 sets and we do only 3. But that's bad enough, erk. One set consists of: Burpees, 10 counts of 10 (2 counts doing a jumping jack, 2 counts doing a pushup and 2 counts thrusting the legs outwards and then back in after you've come up from the pushup) It does say something that he just stands at the side and shouts, "down", "change" or "not loud enough". I wouldn't mind doing the exercises all that much if he actually *did* them with us.

We were asked to write what we wanted to be displayed on our nametags in future. I contemplated "Agagooga" but this is supposed to be for my future work, so. Damn.

When people go to the canteen, they always buy the same old drinks. Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I decide to sample the less tried ones. So far, I'm the only one I've seen so far drinking F&N Orange, Soursop and Coconut. Pokka Carrot Juice has been bought by only one person (not me, I hate carrot juice!). However, this policy backfired on me when I decided to try 'Oldenlandia Water', which was highly recommended by the Uncle and was supposed to be very "cooling". It was horrible, and when I let other people try it, no one liked it either. The only reason why he still keeps it in stock is because he drinks it! Apparently he had a flu that morning and drank 2 cans. By the afternoon he was alright.

The Malays were ogling at Maxim's 100 Sexiest Women supplement one night. I thought that was Haram and they liked their women wrapped up! :)

As if the smoke from the smoking corner at the corner of the bunk wasn't enough, one night the Malays set up another smoking corner in the middle of the bunk. I don't mind that much if they (the smokers, not just the Malays) smoke in the day, if they have no smoking break, and if they keep to the existing smoking corner which is at the very corner of the bunk, concealable by opening the cupboard door and beside the window besides. However, smoking in the mornings/evenings or after lights off, when they can just walk outside to smoke in the former case, and when they could've smoked a few minutes earlier, is just infuriating. Not to mention hazardous to health - before lights off I can go outside to breathe uncontaminated air, but after I am forced to become a passive smoker for a few hours. And coupled with the LOUD, BAD, MALAY music (that's 3 strikes against it :0), which was on until 3am, and the incessant loud chatter and laughing, it was very hard to sleep that night. But at least my bunk mates do not smoke in the toilet (that I know of), not only choking the others but occupying the cubicle - we have 3 cubicles for about 60 people.

For the second week in a row, IV was on a Thursday. It was our first 16 gauge needle live practice. The needles are the sizes of Yakult straws, and apparently the 16g leaves a permanent scar. Oh thank you, SAF, for mutilating me! I just hope the scars aren't too visible, and are just light spots on darker skin at most. I think they should ship in pigs or cows for us to do our IV practice. Or better yet, use the very-free TSS! Well this time, I was poked by the previously mentioned sergeant. However, the professional poking was balanced by the fact that he poked me at my wrist (because he couldn't find the vein elsewhere, he said). Maybe I should try putting on some weight at my wrists to reduce the pain. He actually tried to trick me that he was using a 20g on me, but feeling the pain, and seeing the hole left after withdrawal, the truth was evident :) 1 down, 6 to go...

Kumar was asked to go for a MOE Local Teaching Scholarship interview. He tells us he wants to teach in RGS because the girls are "mature mentally and physically". Right. He should have gone for his interview in his smelly uniform, which he again wore the whole week. He even wore it to bookout. The people on the bus must have died.

More disgusting tales: Khairul went out one night to pee. Only thing is, his toilet was hte grass patch beyond the stairs beside our bunk. Yuck.

During our immensely boring (in terms of waiting) Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, one guy got a scenario involving menstrual cramps. Well done!

Roe was flabbergasted at seeing my snack bag. There's actually a lot more at home but I think the quantity I have at camp is more than sufficient to last a week, especially since the wolverines have stopped attacking!

Someone brought a guitar in, and people were playing and singing badly. As someone else put it, their acapella singing is bad enough, but when coupled with bad playing.

Every night, Iskandar will walk up to me and ask, "Do you want to pump iron or do you want to run tonight?". And everytime my answer will be "What do you think?". I wonder if he'll ever give up.

Some people have really disgusting toilet habits - toilet bowls are left unflushed, and people don't lift up the toilet seat before shooting, leaving urine all over the seat! I think before I use the seated toilet the next time, I'll jet the seat first.

As I walked out of camp, I saw this guard at the gate whose nametag said 'Mohammad'. Well done. What's the distinguish him from the other 75% of Muslim males named Mohammad?


Quotes:

"[On my proclivity to bring in Marks and Spencer food] Your mother works at Marks and Spencer ah? Or your father owns the shop?"

"[On Chris' drill commands, issued in a professional-sounding tone] Eh, this is not National Day Parade lah"

"I want to get an M16. How much does it cost at the E-mart?"

"[To someone entering the lecture] Yes? Which planet are you from?... By the way, don't call me 'Sergeant Major' ever again. [Call me 'Staff']... You'll remind me of my time in infantry and I'll get upset."

"Who here smokes?... Roy, you don't smoke meh?... The face tells it all."

"[Zhang on me talking to Kumar, Vasu and Sargunan] Why are you intruding into this black gathering?"

"[On Entonox] If the guy is a laughing stock, he will laugh non-stop. (laughs easily)"

"[On SMM] This school, they charge people very easily. Come up with all the excuses to charge people one. (charges, They come, people)"

"Government fucked up, sergeant. That's why we're in [the] SAF (The government is fucked)"

"[On the contraband inspection] But I'm very impressed with [you know] what? [Mimes handphone]... [Claps from trainees] Serious... Nobody from my platoon got caught?... At least I train, thinking soldier, not idiots (soldiers)"

"[On many people not bringing their water bottles for Last Parade] Nevermind, later go down and drink 2 cups of Milo."

"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"

"[On Islam] Fucked up, stupid religion."

"[On the drinks vendor] Even Alan, everytime I see him, complain... 'Why never let them come for canteen break?' [He] Call up CSI. Don't know where he get the number from. (he complains, called, got)"

"[On the cookhouse's small portions] [If] They want to be so niao, I [will] go and put a weighing scale there."

"[On the cookhouse's high receptivity ratings, in the high 90s] I don't know why leh, I also put poor... I always put poor one (poor)"

"[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]. (will take, and I will, will put)"

"[On my anger at 16g scars] You're not going to be a model right... Don't worry, they can hide it, digital imagery... Photoshop."

"After lights off, don't use your handphones. I say again, don't use your handphones. Especially those cockenadens with the flashing antennas."

"[Mock command] Platoon, suka suka [Anyhow, cf normal use of 'cepat' - quickly] jalan [walk]"

"[On me] Don't be like a wolverine [and eat all his food]... You think he what, refrigerator ah?"

NB: In response to some comments posted for an earlier entry-

mannikin

n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]

Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University

Finally tried Pizza Hut's Stuffed Crust Pizza. This one had cheese baked on the crust itself too. The cheese overload is affecting my system! My brother in law says he'll never eat Pizza Hut again :) There was this Malay family which apparently didn't have enough - they were eating Burger King and KFC food at the same time too.

Later we went to pick my sister up from a dinner party. And we ended up waiting 1 1/2 hours. I was so pissed, I just got up and left at the end. It cost me $9.60 to take the cab home, but it was worth it. And I found a rather full pack of cigarettes on the back seat of the cab. The driver didn't smoke either, but he took the pack, maybe as a door gift of sorts for customers.

Okay. Confirmed my flight back on SQ 228 on Tuesday 18 June, arriving in singapore at 9.45pm.

Lyrics from Rebecca St. James' "Abba (Father)". I've been listening to her stuff on my Wow collection- powerful.
Abba (father)

Feeling like the eagle that rises
Flies above the earth and its troubles
Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below
But under his wings there's a stronger power

Oh Father - You are my strength
On you I wait upon

(Chorus)
You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high -- You are my Abba

Running in this race to the finish line
The only road for me is the narrow
Not gonna stop or even look to the side

When I fix my eyes on You Jesus
Oh Father - You are my strength
Now more than ever

(Chorus)

When you've run too far - and the road is long
Can't walk another mile - He is waiting
Hope in Him again - He'll renew you
Then you will rise gather up your wings and fly...

(Chorus)

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
He gives strength to the wary
To those who hope in Him
They will soar like eagles.
---

Ooh. Problem-based learning tutorial (case study of an old dehydrated lady who fell, broke her hip and was lying on the floor for 24 hours): I never knew sunken eyes was a symptom of dehydration- i'd always associated them with blackbirds who'd "been waiting for this moment to arise". (wry grin)

Aside, i left a message at 2am yesterday apologising to Ben for missing the birthday celebration (am on my way to find the birthday girl now- got Bradley Trevor Greive's "The meaning of life" for her) and he replied back with a cute message. I'll type it up here next time.

http://www.postcardgalaxy.com/cards/76950011.html

This is odd, to say the least. Speak about a greeting-for-all.

Dilemma on Friday. Birthday celebration of an ormondian (probably dinner at Chinatown) clashes with OCF, which as i have just found out, will be held in Janice's house in South Yarra. And if i miss su's birthday william will kill me. Arrrrggghh!!!

Details:
Birthday celebration in chinatown (middle of city): probably starts at 8pm, till late.

OCF cell group: Meet at uni tram stop at 5.30pm, proceed to house from there. Potluck dinner from 6 to 8-ish. Games from 8 to 8.30, then cell bible study and sharing from 8.30 to 10. More makan and chatting after 10.

(wrt the photo below) grins, so there -are- persons of wider girth than i, after all!
thanks for succumbing the dollar-fifty for my mango smoothie, gabriel. but the stench didn't just stem from female rafflesians; there were the sweaty, predominantly male soccer/basketball/softball players as well, yknow!

ps. jamin introduced me to this rj girl selling second-hand books at ora who looked a remarkable lot like you, andrew. (:

This is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!

http://ocsc.ormond.unimelb.edu.au/ow/gallery/Day_Three/DSCN1150.JPG

[Ed: This post has been edited to remove the image on Ormond College's servers to prevent page loading problems]

Ormond college. During orientation they were like, "Freshers! Jump into the river!" and all of us were stripping to our swimwear. Then after all that they told us it was illegal to swim in the river. So we had to wear everything again.

Is this offensive? Should i take it down?

After 6 years in a Raffles School, I've finally gone to an ORA games day! As usual, for reasons unknown, I was terribly amused.

My amusement was increased by my finding, standing behind Shiming, none other than Yaodong! And with his hair intact. Isn't he in BMT already?

Jamin and Aravind were hanging around. I also bumped into 2 of my J4 RI GEP seniors. I brushed past them and realised that they looked familiar. For some reason, they were incredibly amused on finding out that I was at SMM.

The mannikin in the RGS museum wearing the RGS uniform looks terribly freaky without hair, but worse, the sleeves are not folded!

I left after barely an hour there, both because wandering around alone was too sad even for the likes of me, and the overpowering stench of smelly girls in the canteen!

[NB: In response to some comments posted-

mannikin

n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]

Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University]

Bookout post:

Restored Post

Whenever people ask me how SMM is, I respond that it is good, relative to life elsewhere in the army, except for:

1) The no handphone rule
2) The bedbugs, mosquitoes and other monsters
3) The horrible food (the worst slop in the SAF probably goes to my camp)

and of course:

4) The weekly IVs

Well, it seems that we've finally tested the patience of our Company Senior Instructor for the last time / something bad, unrelated to us, happened to him that made him angry and crack.

Tuesday, we got hints of it. We had the usual talk about how the younger generation takes our security and prosperity for granted. Blah blah. Been there, done that.

On Friday, somebody lost his wallet, and still hadn't realised, after going through BMT at the very least, that in the SAF, if you lose something, you're never going to get it back. So he reported the loss, and on the pretext of searching for the wallet, the instructors turned our bunks upside down and took the opportunity to look for contraband (Mostly handphones, but a portable TV was found!). This served the dual purposes of deterring us from reporting lost items the next time, saving them loads of trouble, and getting people to do guard duties, saving them trouble choosing others, and satisfying their sadistic tendencies. Also, thanks to Mr Ass Man (as some of us call him), we did jumping jacks - 25 counts of 8, to weed out those who'd put their phones in their underwear. Of course, everyone had tucked them in tightly, so among the whole lot, only one Nokia battery fell out. And Mr Ass Man, ever considerate, gave us an lights off timing half an hour earlier - 10pm, for us to recover from our exertion. Nobody in my platoon got caught for contraband, though something much worse was discovered on someone (Hush!). Ahh, the kindness our instructor showed to us, giving us advance notice of the inspection by telling us they were checking for "bunk damages" (ahem). And Bruneians are very useful. They buy food back for you when they have a night off, you can hide in their bunk when you're pretend you're at Friday prayers but actually want to sleep and you can let them take care of your handphones! And in the end, the person probably didn't get his wallet back too. On a personal note, mine own personal communications device (just my luck. I bring it in on May Day and they check us. I'm jinxed!) was hidden in a place most ingenious. If I say so myself.

On Saturday, they went even crazier. They'd inspected the bunks in the morning, and some bunks' rubbish hadn't been brought down, and the bunks were generally not in standby condition. So they messed our bunks up themselves. My bunk was locked, so they vented their frustration by dumping a garbage bag full of garbage (and some mud, besides) at our door. On the pretext of that, and other miscellaneous things like people not coming back to endorse their MCs (those gotten over the weekend or during a night off) before going off for their sick rest (that policy is rather dumb, we all think), we had a mild torture session, many stand-by-beds, a bookout delayed till 2:10, a bookin brought up to 9pm (up from 10:30pm - in Units it's 11:59pm, and that means the time you enter the camp and not the time you report in a platoon in army T-shirt, shorts and shoes with a full waterbottle) and a withdrawal of our "privileges" - booking in/out is in Smart 4 from now on and we've no more nights off. They've probably lost their ISO certification by now! :) I wonder how many people are going to take an MC over this weekend.

And now, back to the roughly chronological narrative.

When I returned, there were the expected jibes about my hair. I got called "recruit". Bah. It's not that much shorter than Zhang's, and *he* doesn't get teased, though he does regret cutting his as short as it is too.

On Monday, I almost brought in my phone, but I backed out at the last minute. Other people bring theirs to Guard Duty and lectures, and I don't even bring mine in. Ahh, I think, if for nothing else, I'll bring mine in to spite the SAF.

The cookhouse likes to give fancy names to the food, probably to distract us from the bad taste. Seen on the menu before are dishes like: "Tasty Tientsin Cabbage" and "Imported Celery With Carrot". But pseudo-Western food takes the cake. On Friday we had "Chicken Chasseur" (Tomato sauce chicken), "Fish fillet ala Meuniere" (Lemon sauce deep fried fish) and "Vichy carrot" (Steamed carrots). This reminds me of the restaurant owner in Plaak who introduced one dish to us as "Tu2 Er3 Qi2 Bao1 Qing1 Cai4" (Turkey ? Green Vegetables). Anyhow, the receptivity ratings for April are out. There's been a total plunge of 6% across the 4 meals. Gasp. We've been speculating about the definition of receptivity recently, actually, and I think we have the answer - it measures the percentage of people who bother to collect their food (no matter how many throw all or most of it away later). So the rest hate the food so much that they go on a hunger strike, or refuse to collect the food, risking getting charged. The food's that bad! *Grin* On Monday the cookhouse boss had a bright idea, that of giving us peanut porridge for our night snack. Most people didn't take any, and when we went back to the bunk, I offered people a real nightsnack - the rest of my Carte d'Or Hazelnut Chocolate! And on Saturday, we got "Egg Mayonnaise" for breakfast. Not only was it hot, there was probably more butter than Mayo in the damn thing.

It's freaky. Yew Jin's heart is so close to his skin that, when he removes his shirt and looks straight ahead, you can see his heart beating.

When the Bruneians have a night off, they can come back at 2-3am. Gah.

I was marching by the training sheds on my way up from the most god-forsaken public phone in the camp on monday when I heard somebody playing the trumpet. Going up, I chatted a bit with the player. Turns out his bunk mates were complaining about his playing, so he moved to that relatively secluded spot.

On Tuesday, which was mega-lecture day (10 lectures in all!), Zhang and I were discussing computer games and it turns out we've played many of the same games. From the days of the computers with no hard disks and only 5.25 floppy drives, we've both played Alley Cat (well, who hasn't?), Way of the Bushido and Ninja. Pity he didn't have enough RAM for Darksun: Shattered Lands.

On Tuesday, one person liked shorts so much that he booked out in pants, then took them off to reveal the shorts once he was out of the gate.

Iskandar's modified dismissal cheer: Seek safe sex. Magic [Johnson]! [Cf original: Seek, save, serve. Medic!]

For a while, Folie was given to repeatedly singing, "You're wasting my time". Irritating. Lucky he's tired of it.

Guard duty on Wednesday was incredibly boring. And it was Labour Day too. Better than a weekend, though. Luckily, we'd all prepared ourselves suitably by starving our bodies of sleep the night before. I thought I'd clocked a respectable time by sleeping at 1:30am, but Guan Hong hit 2am and Yew Yew took the prize with a mind-shattering 4:00am. Again, I got the post of sentry. It's boring, but at least you don't have to walk. And I got a chair for 3 hours! The food was terrible - lunch was totally hot, and since the canteen wasn't open I couldn't satiate my hunger there. We had 2 sets of turnouts, the first consisiting of 4 turnouts and latter 3. And all this while, the fire picket people got to sleep, except for a brief spate of camp cleanup in the morning. Especially Steven, who was asleep almost all the time.

When you've nothing to do while on guard duty, you muse. So now I've recalled some stuff to add to my already overly long About Me page. While sitting at the guard post, I saw this guy across the road, riding on a motorised bicycle. You don't see many of those around: I can probably count the number I've seen on one hand, let alone the number of appendages on my body.

It seems Mr Kamal and Mr Lim are Combat Medics too. Ooo. They must be much better than inept me.

The HQ platoons have walkie talkies that look like handphones. I've no idea why.

On Thursday, the Medical Officer trainees came in, in the OCS Waiter attire, and they were issued with laptop bags. They looked rather odd marching in the white top and black pants, carrying their "laptops". And their drill wasn't very good either :) But their course is not as relaxed as some of us were led to believe - they've done some running, and we've seen them marching and running in long 4 with rifles high ported.

Hospitals all use the 20g needles (the one we've been using to practice IVs with), it's only the SAF which uses the 16g ones. Gah.

The Bruneian girls suggested giving me Entonox (pain relieving gas, 50% oxygen and 50% nitrous oxide) before IV to dull my pain. Heh.

I really suck at IV. I hate injections so much, yet I am so lousy at administering IVs. Of 4 attempts, I passed but 2, and the first 3 were on my dear buddy Guan Hong. And for the last, I had to jiggle in Joshua's flesh to find the vein. But I think I know why I'm so lousy - it's the anxiety factor, so if I calm down, I should be able to achieve a higher accuracy rate. I almost missed getting shot, but I was spotted in time. Wonder of wonders, I didn't even *cry* (a first!). There was just some leg movement and much heavy breathing. This amazing feat can be attributed to the very on-the-ball sergeant who was there all the time, employing the usual psyching tactics, like distracting me by talking to me, giving me a packet of Wide Open weave (WOW) to grasp in my left hand and trying to extract promises that I'd not make a sound or shed a tear. Of course, it didn't hurt that he took over from Kumar once the needle went in, so it was less painful. But for all his troubles, he still couldn't find my vein and had to withdraw without hitting blood. He's actually very nice, and he fights for welfare for us when he's around, but I still have a bad feeling about the combat phase.

Seeing the miracle of the soundless IV, my platoon mates commented that I "didn't scream". Well, if they thought my strangled cries of the previous weeks were screams, then they obviously had not heard me in my prime, like when:

- I had my BCG in Primary 6
- Jeremy whacked my festering BCG wound in Secondary 1 while Cheah Kum Lim was showing us around the RI Design Centre Art Gallery
- I was in the New Block in Sec 2 when Yong Chin stole my pencil case and ran off
- Wei Ling brought us to some installation dealing with lasers and Sanje pulled my hanky off my nose (Hey, I was weird even then, ok?)

Some of the Malays caught a giant spider and kept it for a while. It was as long as the distance between the tip of my middle finger and the area just past my wrist.

The smokers have started smoking in the bunk. And since my bed's near to the end where they smoke, I've to flee very often. The amount of smoking breaks they get seems more than adequate actually, but then I don't smoke, so.

Guan Hong likes my Marks And Spencer Honey Roast Ham flavour Crisps. Hehe.

Iskandar is also a fan of Sunny Bookshop. Mmm.

The canteen woman is very smart, she charges high prices for the items people want to eat. A hashbrown'll set you back $0.50, and a chicken wing $1!

Some of the female SAF uniformed staff come to camp in civilian clothes. Gah.

Chris' been proud of wearing 1 set of uniform per week, but the sergeant found out and he was told to change his set or sign one extra duty. Haha.

I kept wondering, on Friday, why I kept smelling Kumar and his indian smell. It turned out he'd been wearing the same set of uniform since Monday, through guard duty.

Something very disgusting happened on Friday. Fortunately, I did not witness it as I was slumbering, but from what I was told, Khairul, who always likes to parade naked in the bunk, went in front of Steven and started spanking his monkey. Steven proceeded to spray his anti-blister spray on Khairul's genitals and buttocks. Apparently they wanted to do it to me, but were sure that I'd cry and complain to the CO.

My food is always plundered by everyone else, because they're too lazy to bring in their own food. On Friday, I went to wash my ziploc back, and munificently let my bunk mates take some of my Ruffles, but when I returned, the packet had disappeared. Running outside, I was just in time to see the 6 Malays (the 8 in my bunk minus Iskandar and Raffie) finishing the chips, and I only got a few crumbs. And Saturday morning, I woke to Kumar apologising, giving me $5 and promising that they'd bring food in next week, as they had consumed my Wise Cottage Fries the night before. Because they had the decency to give me recompense, I'll not hoard my food. And this is all good stuff. As Chris remarked, the stuff I bring in can't be found in supermarkets. At least those that he goes to.

Apparently one of the instructors at SMM gained weight just to escape normal BMT. Hmm.

One thing I don't understand is why I always see RJ people around SMM. It's rather far to walk, and I'm not sure that they gain access to any new bus services.

Tim passed by my camp and he agrees it looks like a dump!


Quotes:

"[On my handphone] Just bring it in lah"

"Gabriel, I think you need to wear [a] bra already."

"[On my scribbling] Later [when you] ORD, you [can] go and write a comic. Confirmed funny one. (It'll definitely be funny)"

"Army, no need to be so garang one... I've learnt the art of slacking. See, now I also don't tie my boot lace already. (I don't, laces anymore)"

"[On my attempt at Mozart's Lacrymosa] Gabriel, you've such a sweet voice."

"[Khairuldin sings:] Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah, loolah. Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah loolah lay. [Someone else sings: No more Khairuldin!]"

"[On how to avoid getting my food stolen] All you need to do is bring a big bag of groceries and put pork in the centre."

"[On an instructor cursing] Use vulgar language. No more ISO already."

"[On a war] The regulars are behind. When all of you die, then we come out. (Only when, will)"

"[On a war] When the enemy invades, you're going to go, 'I'm [PES] C9, please do not shoot me."

"[On someone who was very bitter] I think he doesn't have a girlfriend. I think he can't get into the U, that's why he's so disappointed."

"[On 2 RJ girls we saw outside SMM] Judging by the tits, not more than 12 years old."

"[On starting IVs with a 20g needle] No, we just want you to get comfortable. [Trainee: Then next time start with 100 {gauge}]... Poke mosquito."

"[On the Medical Officer Conversion Course trainees] Bloody hell, they look like Waiters' Association like that. (the Waiters' Association)"

"[On our 10pm lights off timing] Primary school kids sleep later than us."


I've decided to remove "Slave" from my icq info to avoid being picked up by BDSM aficionados.

I wonder if they still have those gimmicky vending machines where you can "dial a drink" and which is an utter waste of money, both to install and to use, with no discernable benefits for either producer or consumer.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The word of the day is: "bonistic"

I want to be the amygdala. Or the sylvan fissure. For you anatomy students, the amygdala may seem an obvious choice for me, but why the sylvan fissure? Perhaps this litle snippet will enlighten:

"It is well-known that electrical stimulation of the right temporal lobe (above the right ear and specifically in the sylvan fissure or laterus sulcus) produces visions of God, hearing beautiful music, seeing dead friends and relatives, even panoramic life reviews."

Yesterday, at work, the assistant manager launched into a three minute imploration during morning briefing. He waved his hands in the air and made his oratory in striding, mellifluous cadences. He concluded with: "... and as bankers and as human beings, PLEASE STOP TAKING THE PENS OFF MY DESK!"

I've lost a bit of weight, which sounds surprising, given that my physical regimen, rather sedentary to start with, has deteriorated further. I only go swimming about once a week these days, if at all lucky. However, the loss of weight may be attributed to stress, lighter meals(too fatigued to binge), and having to run back and forth from my desk to the photocopying machine. Not that my physique has(or ever will, methinks) shows any sign of Greek-godhood. Not even Greek-satyr or Greek-philosopher(some of whom had pretty good bods, if those statues at old Hellenic digs are accurate:) bod, damn it.

Most of the time, I actually have heavy breakfasts and dinners, and light lunches so that I don't get sleepy in the day. In addition, i don't have a fixed lunch time, and one in a while, NO lunch time, so generally it's better to get used to keeping things light.

During a bout of acutely neurotic introspection, I realise that I - invariably - eat either one of three things:

a) The exact same yong tau foo combination at the exact same stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 75% of the time.
(For those who really really *really* want to know - it's two fishballs, two fu pei(the fried crispy doufu skin thing), one liang dou fu,
three tau fu pok, and two fish-cakes, in curry soup.)

b) two chappatis and a garlic naan, at another stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 20% of the time

c) once in a rare while, i'll walk to another cornershop instead and have a chao kuay teow. 5% of the time

And for some reason, when I try to make myself eat something different, I can't bring myself to spend the mental energy needed to conceive of an alternative, make a decision, and actually carry it out. A sign of my increasing degeneration.

Lots of chio chicks at my bank this week, for some reason. Am mildly gratified at being able to ask them questions like, "How much do you want to withdraw?"
or(for some foreigners) "Is this a multiple-entry visa?", or, in the case of joint accounts, "Your husband can place a deposit with you."

Yaaaaaaay!!! My mum's here! My mum and my friends went out to shanghai dumpling kitchen for delicious variety of dumplings and noodles. Then went shopping at bridge road, mum bought a nice polyester waterproof jacket for A$70 for me.

(during lunch)
Albert: Did you know, there's a special knot they use when sewing cadavers?
Andrew (deadpans): I thought they just used a dead knot.
Albert: No, i don't think so... (attempts to describe how to tie the knot)
Andrew: Oh-uh-ohhh-oooh bad pun baaaaaaad pun......

Gabriel's gonna have a fit when he sees my obi-wan "you are xxx" quiz... =p

(Anonymous: The girls in SMU all dress up like they're going clubbing one!!)

*Wheeeee* I've always wanted to be Ewan McGregor as Obi-wan Kenobi. Isn't he soooo cooool!!!

Okay, so I tweaked 1 question after i got anakin skywalker the brat. So. Don't u dare say i'm a loser ... even if i am!! Hahahahahahahhaa

Which Star Wars character are you?

Welcome dom! Honoured by your participation.

My mum just came .... so glad! But she's sick. But we're going out with my bunch for lunch tomorrow! I'm very excited! And using so many exclamation marks doesn't bug me at all now!!!

Who wants to be temporal lobe?

I think the 4-lettered S word qualifies as vulgarity. I have enough of a dilemma just using "crap" (wince).

(wince wince wince) trying to feel better ... strangely sports helps (= . I feel like such an unfit blob, just running a couple of rounds after touch rugby and my calves started to cramp up.

Quizzes / Guard Duty

Ahhhhhhhhh! It's the invasion of the "you are xxx" quizzes. Evil! Evil!

I've guard duty tomorrow. Joy. My aim is to sleep a maximum of 4 hours tonight.

This is me! Yay oh yay!





which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

The word of the day is: "hamartia"

The schizophrenia deepens. Hello Dominic.

Gabriel and I had an argument the other day about whether "shit" was an expletive or not. Gabriel maintains that it isn't, and hence his justified use of it does not render his moral stance against vulgarity null and void. Personally, I feel "shit" would pass the reasonable test as a form of low-grade vulgarity, and hence his self-righteous aversion to profanity is undermined. Gabriel said that he uses it in a literal sense of the word(ie. as a colloquialism for feces), to which I countered that other synonyms exist such as doodoo, turd, mist, poop, duenge, kuso, guano, or caca which no one would consider vulgar.

We continue to exchange arguments of like mettle inside the one brain. Fellow lobes, join in the fight!

Today my senior took sick leave, and my relief officer was on study leave(for some banking certification). As a result, I had to wade through hordes of customers for 7 non-stop hours of hard-core banking. The marauding armies surged at me, threatening to overwhelm my meager defenses. It was us, the few, the proud, the non-malingering(1/3rd of our staff was out on leave of one kind of another, leaving us desperately short-handed). Us against the damn public!(Almost like being in government) Finally, I stood triumphant over a pile of steaming specimen cards and account passbooks! Ah, the sweet pyrrhic taste of victory, dampened only by having to lick and seal 150 letters to customers informing them about the massive savings to be made through our mortgage refinancing packages.
(I hope the glue on those envelopes isn't toxic)

My subscription to the Economist finally came through! Woohoo! I can now have something to read at lunch!(on the days I actually *have* lunch)

Profound insights elude me, so pretension is all I have in place of a life.

*slaps face, in the timed, futile hope that the nerves transmit the pain signals to other parts of our shared brain*

Gabriel, you shouldn't be too hard on those lobes of ours who decide to do things elsewhere. The collective approach to blogging has its drawbacks, and some people like to actually have *lives*(whatever those are). Either that, or maybe the medication's working on them better than it is for us.

To quote from my (real) diary: "I've given my life to a set of obsessions I'm no longer sure are noble; I might be willing to trade in my patented eccentricities for a normal life if there was anything about a normal life I could stand. I live an existence with no resources, allies, or goals, only an acute sense of everything wrong with the world."

If one of our personalities commits suicide, does it bring down the others with him? interesting moral dilemma. That would be one way to prove the matter one way or the other. Shotgun is handy, it leans temptingly at my desk. Albeit heavy, and difficult to cock. Mitiated only by the terrible embarrassment suicide is these days.

Guy Pearce: "How can I heal if I can't feel time?"

But then again, Doris Day: "If life gives you lemons, grab a tequila and make margaritas."

THOUGHTS CAN POP INTO YOUR HEAD INVOLUNTARILY. Like the occasional warped impulse to tear a baby's limb off. Or the sudden desire to do the Macarena *and* the funky monkey at the same time. (it's possible, although it's a reflection of poor planning)

Today, the phone at my desk kept playing the tune from Bridge over the River Kwai. I don't know why. It wouldn't stop. And other people could hear it, so I'm not entirely crazy.I hit every button on it, but it kept playing the tune. For 3 hours. Another officer suggested using a hammer. In the end, I ripped the phone from the line and threw it into the dustbin in a fit of rage, only to have my assistant manager berate me for poor anger control(seriously). I had to fish it out and plug it back in. Thankfully, mercifully, it remained silent. I almost believe in miracles now.

I'm male. Sort of. And army talk doesn't do anything for uniting me, other than my needing to learn it to communicate with some of you warheads.

Schumacher won the Spanish Grand Prix! (erm, was anyone expecting anyone else?)

Updated my homepage with newly scanned pix: http://www.geocities.com/marshmall0w/
The obstinate 3rd person Andrew just had to put this in after taking the quiz, it's so cuuuuute!


which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen

in a fit of typical feminine peevishness, i'm going to whine about how i'm being termed "a load of inactives". i'm working on the celery stick diet, ok?
don't think you should worry too much about it, gabby. mannerisms reflect one's current environment, i expect you'll slough the uncouth/ill-mannered alter-ego once you leave ns. consider: how often does one get the chance to spout such digit-curling, stomach-roiling expletives with such wild abandon, anyway? ;)

Would point out that thoughts can't pop into yr head involuntarily, but i'm in no mood to be The Associate -ed.

And Andrew finds pple with pretentious notions highly irritating. He is offended by people who assume too much.

*Points out that one inactive has her own blog, and a couple of others are in NS and don't spend as much time as u do online*

WooO! It's like having a new housemate!! *Bakes muffins and distributes them all round*

And u should know my stance on vulgarities. And no it isn't "use the phrase `rabbit killer` as little as possible".

I just went for a haircut and the idiot cut my hair almost as short as the Tekong barber would.

"female cadets are very.. unfeminine." - Yong Chin :)


Tze Li on my unhappiness about the taint of unclean thoughts:

"well i pride myself on not using vulgarities but that doesn't mean vulgarities hasn't popped up in my mind before. we can't really control our thoughts to perfection.

yea thoughts often just pop into our heads involuntarily. the best we can do to stay on the moral side of the line is not to act by those thoughts or speak them out. as long as we shove them away and not use them to hurt others, i guess it's good enough."

Words of wisdom :) And Engineer thinks they're okay if you don't vocalise them. Though Yaoi Girl points out that it's the intent behind the words, rather than the words themself. But then I never curse while having an image of flaming meteors raining into the person while his legs are be... Nevermind :)

They're getting more and more annoying and frequent, but I think I'll cope... Fuzzirat says it happens to him too, but it's getting better in his new camp. The SAF is evil, corrupting us so! Oddly enough, Charmian claims that guys become gentlemen once they come out of the army.


If all goes well, by the end of the day we'll have one more guest star on this blog! *Prods the load of inactives*

I wonder what my juniors have been doing:

"yes. i think your batch is the last civilised one. everyone else i've met from ri is a frothing caveman."

Bookout post:

Restored Post

The creepy crawlies are very irritating. We have bees flying around the ceiling lights in the morning. Grr.

Even after I'd handed over the post of Platoon I/C, I still had to do some of the work of the post. This week's i/c didn't know the Medic's Pledge, so I had to lead the company *again* on monday. Luckily it was raining on Friday morning, so I didn't have to strain my voice again. But apparently I was visibly joyful at not being the i/c anymore - people kept saying I looked very happy because of the load lifted off my shoulders.

This week's platoon i/c caused me a lot of trouble last week, making plenty of snide remarks from within the file and generally being a noisy nuisance. As a platoon mate puts it, "he either f***s you from the front of f***s you from the file". Being the i/c this week, he was a bit subdued but his glorious character still shone through. Next week he'll be back to normal and since we're all familiar with each other by now, he'll be busily making the i/c's life difficult again. Anyhow he wasn't that great as an i/c - for one, he dismissed us ('keluar baris') when we were lined in 3 long columns, as opposed to 3 long rows as it should be. But despite that and several other foul ups, few complained, at last not in front of him, probably due to the fact that the biggest complainers normally are him and his friend (who happens to have a shortened version of his name).

Because of my neglecting to secure a copy of my Hep B documentation, I had to go to Maju Camp for Hep B screening :( On monday, we all loaded up a tonner, and sat comfortably (there were only 12 or 13 people to the tonner, as opposed to the usual 20-30) for the ride to Maju. And when we arrived we were told, "Don't ask why, we're going back". Well done, efficient and well-run SAF.

During last Friday's guard duty, the rest of the company had a talk by the Course Commander. Apparently he told them that the Commanding Officer would be signing an indemnity form "in a few days", then we would all be able to bring mobile phones in. However, since the SAF has a warped sense of time (my ~$200 credit for buying SAF goods still hasn't arrived), and is ever efficient and well-run, we still haven't been given the green light (so they can stop hiding their phones in their dirty clothes and underwear) and might not till the end of the course!

Even after my 20kg net weight loss since enslavement, my veins are still invisible. Makes for jolly blood drawing sessions and IV practices. Well anyhow it's not due to fat, at least not solely or mainly - my sister has beautiful veins, according to a nurse who poked her before.

The drinks vendor at the canteen earns so much that he has a car. Gah.

I brought in my leopard Beanie Baby, "Sneaky" at the start of week 2. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I found that some guy with nothing better to do had mummified him with Wide Open Weave (WOW) and Transpore Tape. So I had to use my Paramedic Scissors to cut him loose. (...) I've since brought Sneaky back, but I hope nothing happens to the polar bear which I brought in Wednesday.

It's alleged I have a silly smile, like Teo Shiyi. Ahh!

Another advantage of sleeping on the floor - no bedbugs! Yes, I've experienced what, hitherto, was reserved for cautionary tales during Health Education lessons (or was it History lessons on our suffering forefathers?). Horrible. I've never seen them, but the bump is very big, and it itches horribly. Must be the foam mattresses we are given. So I'm marginally safer in this respect. But then, as someone pointed out, on the floor you've every other thing except bedbugs... Hope my polar bear doesn't get infected with any insects.

Someone who is a contract slave says that the food is about the same standard as when the SAF had NSmen cooks. So we're not that much removed from that generation's culinary sufferings.

On Tuesday, we waited again for our transport to Maju to be poked. While waiting, I bought a drink from the vending machine, and when I was done, I followed the instructions given on this sign:

"Go Green!
Recycle!

1) Please crush your cans and dispose them here

2) Do your bit to save Earth

3) Thanks for the good deed"

For my trouble, I was scolded by a corporal, who asked if I wanted him to pick the can up for me.

On reaching Maju camp, I was shocked to see the TSS (Temporary Support Staff) "YX Lau" (Jason Lau) and "G Yong" (Yong Gen) grinning at me, and saying "we'll be poking you [all] later". Though they weren't too thrilled at the prospect of having to hold me down while they worked. They and their lot gathered around me, but couldn't find any veins (as is usual), so luckily they let the real medic draw my blood. The rest of them were unfortunate, however, and most were poked at least twice, as the inept TSS "topo-ed" a lot. Steven, with very prominent veins, came out with 3 plasters, and we all chuckled.

There was a weighing scale at Maju Medical Centre, so I took the opportunity to weigh myself. 91.8kg with Boots, wallet and No 4. Not bad. And apparently my peripheral equipment weighs just under 2kg.

A thought that struck me on the way back from Maju: If a Malay or Indian illegitimate child is born, and they don't know the father's name, what do they call him/her?

After we came back from Maju, we had IV. Yeh, so I was poked twice in one day. Steven poked me in the left wrist. The left wrist, dammit, with little flesh to reduce the pain. It still hurts a little as I am typing this. But I feel quite bad myself because I failed 2 IVs on 2 people, the first through no fault of my own - no backflow came out even with the instructor's ministrations, and the second because I dislodged the catheter by pulling the needle out instead of pushing the catheter in. Now I'll do 2 next week. Oh well.

Tan Yew Yew's guide to picking oranges: Choose those with a big "navel" and preferably, the growth from the navel must extend outside it.

On Tuesday, our night off was burned when this guy from Time Magazine came down to try to sell us Time Magazine, at $0.90 off the subscription price. He offered us a choice of gifts. One was a Pooh Bear in fatigues (Eee!!!). Another was an overstock of a Life book - "Our Call to Arms", on Pearl Harbor. And the last was leftover phonecards from Time's 75th Anniversary (3 years haven't been enough to get rid of them apparently).

The Bruneians came back from one (of the millions) night off, and they had prata for the malays! Gah.

I've found a third person in my platoon who doesn't shave. Yeh!

After a canteen break, I was hiding behind the training shed and singing latin songs. Apparently I freaked some of the people out, as they thought that there was a little girl singing.

Every time we have a canteen break, I see the Malays eating Nasi Lemak. It seems they don't get tired of it, even after 3 weeks. I wonder if they'll still be eating it after another 8 weeks.

[Some of] The Malays also like to walk around naked in the bunk. It's really disgusting, the nonchalent way they do it - they've no sense of shame. And it led to someone making fun of their "peanuts" (ahem).

The food at SMM really "cannot make it", which is why you often see permstaff buying food back from outside (like Burger King). When it comes to survey time, some people put 2 chips in the "poor" slot. I think the workers have given up on us - one of them told the other, "bu4 yao4 kan4 le4. Ta1 men2 suo1 bu4 hao3 jiu4 shi4 bu4 hao3" - "Don't look [at what slot they're putting the chips into], if they think we're bad, we're bad". So we know why we've so many cats over there. Also, the vegetables at the cookhouse are perenially undercooked. Perhaps this is to make up for the overcooked vegetables at Tekong. At least we've had one good meal so far - Nasi Lemak on Tuesday night, with a chicken wing with pineapple and raisins (wah), and large onion omelette. We can't count on good food, though and so I brought in copious quantities of food in. I suspect one of my giant Carte d'Or Hazelnut bars got stolen, though. I'll have to lock everything in the cupboard next time!

The people who pop up. Arvindren OOCed from OCS and popped up in SMM as a TSS. He's to join the July course as a combat medic. Yeh.

I feel really silly. I'm the only idiot who didn't bring in a handphone, and no one's been caught yet (and indeed, may ever be).

It's quite sad, people were holding forth a discourse in the bunk on the breasts of the girls in FHM. Oh well.

I think slavery lowers our standard for jokes - even really crappy and lousy jokes elicit at least a chuckle from the lot of us.

They squeeze so much into us in just 5-6 weeks. Someone claims that we're actually doing a compressed 8 month course, but even if that isn't true, it is a great deal to study and absorb in such a short time. And we've a casualty aid test on monday, which may cause me to necessitate burning a weekend for a retest.

A female Bruneian cut the canteen queue and wasn't forcibly ejected. Gah. The Bruneians all have 5 digit army serial numbers, like slaves, and apaprently they all own cars.

We only have 2 compulsory water parades a day - before 5BX and during the last parade, and sometimes these are "drink beyond your point of thirst" affairs. Less water torture!

It was quite disgusting - 4 people were seated on a bed, gathered around this guy who was playing Muzak ringtones on his Samsung polyphonic ringtone phone, and some of them were shaking their heads with the music.

Our course is certified by the Justice Institute of British Columbia, Paramedic Academy. Unfortunately, the certificates have expired. Aww.

The sergeant who projects his "garang" aspirations on us (not fulfilling them himself, whether due to physical inability or something else) has given us bad feelings and deep fears about the combat phase and our future unit life. Ugh.

My bunk, bunk 1, is transformed into a gym at night! Dave puts on his black gloves and becomes a personal trainer, training people with pushups and dips. Ah, but that's not it. He brought in dumbbells and barbells. Woo.

Zhang and I were discussing the insidious effect that the army environment has, and we concur that: everytime something bad happens, the vulgarities spring unbidden to mind.


Quotes:

"[During Stand By Bed] This glove. For what? Sell chicken rice?"

"Why [did] you sign on? [Commando: I love my country.] You love the pay, don't bullshit."

"[Trainee while marching: Good afternoon Sir] Good afternoon, carry on, enjoy yourselves."

"[On me] Do all RJ people give that stupid smile?... Because both you and Teo Shiyi give that stupid smile."

"[To someone] Fuck you, don't talk to me about SISPEC. I hate that place."

"Everyday, the breakfast lunch and dinner here, cannot make it."

"Is it really that nice to smoke? Why does everyone like to smoke?"

"[On me copying the sign urging us to recycle our cans] What are you copying?... Eh, don't be stupid eh. Copy my boot size also!... 'Today, I followed instructions on the board. Then I kenna fucked. The guy asked me, the can, waiting for him to throw?' (was I waiting for him to throw the can away)"

"[To Steve] Everyday, see you, never bathe... Jee bye, come back bunk, put some powder then sleep. You think field camp ah? (I never see you bathing, you come back to the, and then, this is field)"

"Hope that you have Hep B. Serious. Then you're excused IV, that means you can poke your buddy, [but] your buddy cannot poke you... Get AIDS. You cannot poke your buddy, your buddy cannot poke you."

"[On Hep B screening by TSS] That's the guy. It's this guy, fucking hell. That's the fucker who missed my vein."

"[On Hep B screening by TSS] They poke, draw blood. Three quarters full. Then, no blood... 'Sorry ah, sorry ah.' Then the other guy, 'Don't worry, it's not our blood.' (poked and drew, Till it was three, there was no more blood, guy said)"

"[On Hep B screening by TSS] We should bring [our] MOP here and shoot IOV here. Shoot on them. (MOPs)"

"[To me during Hep B screening] Fuck, how [do] you take IV? Next time [during] IV lessons [they] must tie you to a stretcher."

"[On not minding IVing someone, but not liking being IVed himself] It's like when you rape someone, you feel shiok, but when you kenna raped, you don't feel shiok."

"But Gabriel, seriously, I've never seen you with a hard on... It makes you wonder. [Goes on to make some comment about when I had wet underwear on and he couldn't see any outline]"

"[On specifics in bandaging of wounds] In your course, you must know this. In real life, I tell you, nobody cares."

"Next is the clavicle. You know where's the clavicle? It's this bone here. All the girls have this, very sexy."

"[Handphone rings] Na beh, all these girls. [Trainees protest] It's a guy lah, 'Desmond'."

"[On people in Units] They bastard you, they see the catheter, they scared already. You just whack one time... sadistic ah. (If they treat you badly, once)"

"Don't go and take the rectal thermometer and put it in the mouth."

"[On my polar bear] Gabriel, you gay ah?"

"I didn't know Nanyang Girls' School looks so nice, sia... Look at the clock. [Me: You're referring to the building right.] The building, not the girls - forget it."

"[On his drawing of a heart] Testicle, what? Take out yours and put it up here."

"[On dinner] Stayout personnel, if you all are not eating, make a motion of going down and coming back up."

"[On a blood donation drive] I donate sperm."

"Last batch, we had no female trainees, but the Miss CMC. Wah."

"In Singapore, you know why? All these people, they study too much already. You punish them too much, they write letter to minister to complain, then you're in trouble. (study, If you, they will, letters to the)"

"Why do you think the girls join army? [They're] Hopeless, can't find jobs outside."


Barry has just told me what the other letters of SISPEC stand for! So far I've only heard it referred to as "Suffer In Silence" but now I know it stands for "Suffer in Silence Plus Extra Confinement". Ahh. Yeah I'm slow.

Lyric quiz!!

I learnt to play this song a long, long time ago .... beautiful. Don't remember it on the airwaves in singapore though... maybe i was too young. And there's a key change in the song within these lyrics!

"A cold and friendless tide has found you
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down
I'll paint a ray of hope around you
Circling in the air, lighted by a prayer"

And no it's not Take 5 boyband stuff!

The word of the day is: "litote"

*primly*

Andrew, I'm glad that I inhabit the part of our brain that avoids boy-band songs like the plague. Although, frankly speaking, I hope the host body looks better than any of us.

How come all you other lobes of our multifurcated brain have fans?

History lesson.

a) Anzac Day is the Australian and New Zealand way of commemorating for themselves and the world that they can send young people to die in needless, mindless conflict like any other nation; although it's particularly embarrassing when your *first* major world conflict with heaps of casualties happens at the behest of a fat aristocrat sitting in Westminster(Gallipoli and Churchill, respectively)

b) It wasn't a war.. it was a Konfrontasi - as Sukarno so charismatically put it during a speech in Singapore - in front of C.K. Tang in the 60s. Indon commandos with bombs were captured off Changi and in Johor, for one, and Australian troops went in to carry out some recon and anti-insurgency work.. at behest of the Singaporean and Malaysian governments.

And finally, what have you got against the "dingy-cargo-pants-worn-out-moccassin-crusty-windbreaker" school of university dressing? Worked pretty well for me/us and I/we were there?:)

Identify the lyrics anyone? They came from a highly mortifying source (shudder)

http://www.teridianshadow.com Travis ho and linus tan have been working on this, it's terrific! Just caught the fabulous trailer!

Rudely awakened at 1.30pm by a call from tiffany that julia's birthday celeb (planned in a park) was called off due to the weather. Uh-oh, now everyone will think i'm a pig and spend all my time sleeping! I didn't sleep that much, woke up at 10.30 and read pratchett's witches abroad, then started on pier anthony's geis of a gargoyle ( imo PA sucks compared to TP ) and fell asleep reading it.

Also Trying to suppress gagging after today's lunch- sundried tomato and mushroom risotto. The alternatives were: sandwich bar (i already eat sandwiches every school day!), fries, pizza square, lasagna (anything has to be better than pasta here!), and unidentified greasy brown-black chunk of meat. Sushi looked tempting but I'd much rather walk down to a takeaway jap place to eat sushi.

Was very down on tuesday after my feedback interview with problem-based learning tutor... on the verge of skipping rest of the afternoon classes. Went to pig out- got a hot chocolate from Plush Sushi (it has a jap chef who specialises in good sushi/handrolls and it serves pretty good coffee/chocolate too!) and requested funky Paprika Powder! It really gives a boost to the flavour- and gave jiaming a shock when she tried it!

Want to go shopping for cool clothes down in melbourne central, plus more dressy stuff around there, and fleece things and raincoats and sports accessories down in smith street where the warehouses are. Then i keep on thinking how much i'm supposed to spend a week... and realise I usually blow it on weekends at one shot. Have got to reserve some money for a decent haircut this week. Am resolving not to degenerate into a perpetually cap-donning, dingy trackpants-dirty-sneakers-smelly-clothes campus lurker.

Just discovered computer terminals in the student union library are available for playing computer games!!! Now i'll have yet another distraction! But friday... maybe friday i'll go play badminton again.

I'm supposed to start on my next assignment. oh well, i shouldn't put it off.

Andrew gan

**

""Check it down

Dropping verbal bombs on the beat

Hoping that you people think

This sound is unique""

**

Gabriel Bus 165 is marginally more regular than 61. If i were you i'd probably just take a cab since i wouldn't be spending the measly allowance on anything else anyway.

I think i have a couple of those big pitchers that languish unused at home.. i'll have a look when i'm back.

And i'm working on the assumption that anything i blog would register on a very limited number of people (of whom I am obliged to add *swinging on a star apologies again!!!)

Today's Anzac day, national public holiday. It's a "bloody" holiday to commemmorate the violence committed by Australian and New Zealand armies- in world war 1 and 2, several regional conflicts and last in East Timor "peacekeeping".

Intrigued to learn a little about australian soldiers involved in a war between indon-esia and ma-laysia- "There was very little press coverage in Australia at the time, because of the sensitivity of the operations and the cross-border activities. The Australian troops were all sworn to secrecy about having entered Indonesian territory, and it was not until 1996 that the �invasion� was publicly admitted"

If we do turn out to be an MPD I volunteer to be host body!!

Andrew: it's spelled "jelak", not "gelak"

Pedantry satisfied.

The word of the day is: "encopresis"

Firstly, before I launch into the usual self-involved tirade, I would like to share something that a friend of mine pointed out; namely, that it was somewhat bizarre to have three separate diarists going into three separate narrative threads, with barely any recognition of each other's existence, other than an occasional footnote or aside.

As Gabriel points out, we're not trying to pad it out, we're just cohabiting a "platform for diversely deprived people". Still, in this day and age, everyone with net access can construct his or her own goddamned platform, complete with angsty pastel colours, and tasteful abstract images. What does it say about the three of us, with little in common, and under completely different lifestyle circumstances, crowding out our separate lives on one diary? To some uninitiated observer, we could very well be three aspects of a multiple personality disorder - who just happen to congregate on the same page. It's certainly plausible, although, from what I know of Andrew and Gabriel, I seriously hope that if we ARE an MPD, the host body isn't mine. [NB: The Associate and I have some history about multiple personalities]

As my friend puts it, "It's like sharing the house with a partially mobile piano bench with a nose for table scraps. It's like sharing a subway car with some derelict who you think is passed out, until you notice that his eyes are open, staring right at you, and you don't like what's lurking behind the pupils - then the lights go out. "

Hm. These metaphors a bit too cheem for me.

Anyway, the replacement security guard also bought it today. He was caught sleeping at the job, with his rifle next to him, which an observant customer noted to a teller(the armed guard sits in a chair just by the door to the back office behind the tellers section, which customers get a fairly clear view off through the transparent screen). My assistant manager was incensed by this, and the fact that it wasn't the first time this bastard had been chided for sleeping on the job in plain view, which, obviously wasn't good for our bank's public image. The security company sent a senior officer over to haul his somnambulant ass off, and he was replaced by the first garrulous armed guard in my tenure to date... this crusty old veteran who normally does CIT routine, rather than static building guard. (CIT: Cash-In-Transit - ie. escorting armoured vehicles on cash runs). He fits in perfectly with all the classic fantasy archetypes: think of David Gemmell's Druss or the classic grizzled veteran mercenary - with the seamed features, wiry, shoulder-set look of capability.. and the shotgun;) He's actually killed a robber before(shotgun blast to the head), and was quite cheerful about it, and having to be shipped out of Johor following the incident(as a necessary matter of policy against aggrieved vengeance-seekers, security guards who actually take a life in the course of duty are immediately reassigned outside the state). This bugger is the second person I know to have taken another human life(funnily enough, that makes both the people I know who've taken another human life Muslims - which I hope doesn't indicate something. *wryly*)

The new guard gave Hasan(the other garrulous security guard, and who has turned out over the months to be someone I can really talk to. Some day I shall dedicate a rant to his fascinatingly storied existence) a highly amusing lecture. It reminded me of something straight ouf of an old John Ford war movie, or some hard-core grilling shit. It went along these lines:

(The veteran) "So how long have you been a guard?"
(Hasan) "Three months"
"And how long more do you want to be a guard?"
"Don't know.. maybe a few more months"
"Why?"
"Well.. because I'm scared.. so many robberies now... not safe to be a guard"
"WHY??? DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE???" (delivered in this stentorian, Voice-From-Above thundering denunciation of Hasan's manliness, or lack thereof.)

This was followed by an incredibly learned lecture on security awareness, the importance of gut instinct, how to spot for tell-tale gun imprints underneath clothing, some thoughful abstract musing on the role of man in this uncertain, tumultous world, and culminating in an earthy conclusion about having seen it all in 23 years as a security guard.

Perhaps I should shift the focus of my future workplace rants away from security-guard related incidents:)

Oh, and in a final aperitif - the other male in my position within all of XXX bank's branches in the Klang Valley resigned. That means I'm the sole male PFC(Personal Financial Consultant) in the Klang Valley region(encompassing KL and Selangor). My assistant branch manager suggests the branch put up a plaque designating me an endangered species.

As my senior aptly puts it: "You are now The Last Panda."

!@#$%^&*()

I come back and I start griping. Argh.

I come back and find that the straw for my gigantic Dunkin Donuts drink pitcher (bought in 1994 when I was in the USA) , useful for pouring copious amounts of drink to sip slowly and complete with insulation, is *still* missing. On inquiry, I find that the straw had been the one given to me to consume the Thai coconut my mother gave me (which was very good, by the way). And it was reasonable to assume that the straw was disposable. So now my pitcher is useless without the straw. Argh. I wonder if they sell this sort of gigantic pitchers (preferably with insulation) over here. Oh Powers That Be, do leave a comment here if you can help me in my predicament!

[Update: I have plundered my Disneyfest straw. It's a bit too long and it's ridged, so orange pulp gets stuck in it, but it's better than nothing!]

The cab fare back was $7.90 including surcharge, and I saved at most half an hour. I think maybe I'll take the bus next time, and try my luck with the 165 instead of the 61. My brother in law has just kindly given me another $5, so I'll get to ride back tonight.

And lastly, I got poked twice yesterday. Because I neglected to acquire a copy of the documentation for my 1989 Hep B jab, I had to go for screening. On arriving at Maju, who should I find grinning at me but the likes of Yong Gen and Jason Lau. Wonderful. Luckily the real medic took my blood, as my vein was hard to locate. The Temporary Support Staff (TSS) like the aforementioned were horrible and kept "topo-ing", and most people had to be shot at least twice. Steven, the last, with beautifully prominent veins, was missed twice, sadly. And after that I had IV (I think Tuesday is the official IV day), and I got poked in the wrist by Steven, who had no one left to poke. The wrist, where flesh is scarce and consequently, injections hurt a lot. Ugh. And I failed my own attempt, so I've to do 2 next week.

And my parents are arguing about inconsequential things again.


On the bright side, even after my rant, I have 2 solid hours at home to slack. Yeh. Daniel and Steven asked me to go to a LAN shop to play counterstrike, but I think they'll gleefully ravish the food I will bring in later.

Hallo everyone!!!!

I would like to imagine aaaaall of my friends in singapore are reading this and following my activities and life here closely, but i know this is as far away from the truth as possible ... i can probably count the bloggers on balderdash like the dear owner gabriel, uh oh, i better use their nicks "the associate", "aureate", "flippant", kai ren. If you Are reading this and you're not mentioned here, do post or post a comment or tell me!!

Anyway on Saturday i was rudely awakened when albert called me about getting a present for julia, turned out to be eleven o'clock already. DId some study and met him (he was late as usual) to go shopping... eventually bought a big stuffed doggy (almost a metre in length). I bought bubble solution from toys r' us! Went down to crown, originally supposed to eat the buffet but it was a little more expensive than eating main courses from cafe grekko's so we went to the latter. Very fun, took lots of pictures, got to meet more chinese international/local students.

After dinner we went walking down the river to burn off the jelak food. Stopped by a street accordion player and asked her to play a few favourite songs, and gave some money. Then went to starbuck's for coffee stop. Thinking of going clubbing but apparently they need ID like driving licence or passport. All of us didn't have either so we couldn't, anyway some weren't very keen on clubbing. Went home.

Sunday morning I went horseriding with wanyan in ponylands under the uni horseriding club. It was drizzling, and i had to borrow this stinking dirty coat - wanyan said it reminded her of this exotic culinary expression she had just read in a book- "leather soup". Quite fun, i learnt how to control the horse, how to "rise to the trot"- basically adopting standing position then sitting then standing, by pushing off with yr toes in the stirrups. This is so you can stay in rhythm with the horse when it starts to trot. And my horse went into an almost-canter. She had a lovely name- "Pearl".

I went to sleep after the ride, had a headache because i had a helmet that was too small and compressing my temples.

At night I talked to my brother for 2 hours, then went to jiaming's house- she decided to cook dinner- all the asian food i never got to eat. The oddest mix of shows were on TV- notting hill, american pie (with all the explicit scenes), a period drama. Just managed to catch the last tram back down elizabeth street.

I can't remember doing anything special on monday.

And i told my brother and albert about gabriel's posting to medics... they want to know how you find having to inject other people.

I heard people in 1st yr med in monash uni already know how to draw blood.

oh you must scan in the rj yearbook. apparently i look like a mishmash of alot of rjcians, according to some people. what does vicki, the one who isn't vicki ha, look like?

Ooh, I feel so warm and fuzzy (really!) in a wunnerful sense inside, like poohbear on a honey high or uh cookie monster with a cookie jar....

Ann posted on caramel:
You know, Andrew, you were at Artists' Jam, on spiritual wings. Someone wrote, on the whiteboard:

Ack.--Andrew Gan (in spirit)

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!

I bought a SMAC (Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri) novel from the EMF in Holland Village. I just wonder if I'll ever get down to reading it, or if I'll ever see the other books in the series (this one is book 1 of 3).

More weird stuff.

Hope I get at least 2 nights off so I can come home and bum for 2 hours each time! Am I not sad? :) Hot nights on the town never appealed to me anyway, nor did pool. And it's too short for a movie.

The word of the day is: "threnody"

Spent weekend vegetating at home bonding over my large stack of "to-play" computer games and catching up on some VCDs an animes. Thankfully, my father is away in Australia this weekend, so I have been able to avoid the usual weekend-wasting sessions of family bonding, family lunches, family outings which cut into my valuable entertainment/privacy time. (Some might say my priorities are a little in(per)verted. Gruthokk to you all.) Managed to finish up Freedom Force, and am now in that terrible, ennui-pervasive period where I have to make the leap into another game - it's hard for me these days to really get immersed into a new game per se, and I find myself having to make the effort to actually pick one up, trudge through the learning curve, etc etc. Currently have reduced the pack down to Incoming Forces(light, mindless graphics-heavy shooter), Jedi Knight 2(extremely looong but good game, with funky lightsaber battles), Heroes of Might and Magic IV(although as a long-time HOMM purist, I find the new design revamp a tad.. unsettling) or Might and Magic IX(old-school RPG with new-school graphics). Either way, I have to get into one soon, otherwise I'll degenerate into another week of coming home, not having a game to eagerly anticipate continuing, and wasting a night staring at ICQ or news websites.

Shall make a final decision by tonight, after finishing Death to Smoochy(Edward Norton and Robin Williams; a "poisoned yet delectable bon bon of a movie that will appeal only to the darkest and most jaundiced of hearts"), and possibly Changing Lanes(Morgan Freeman, a good character actor, and Ben Affleck, who turns out to be capable of good character acting, in this movie). Maybe I should start in on Full Metal Panic as well, although once it's irrtiating to start on an anime series knowing that you haven't got the complete run(13 episodes to go). Also the *last* time I started a new anime series(last week, Vandread Second Stage); I somehow ended up watching all 26 episodes in an 11 hour marathon orgy of viewing. Perhaps I should go easy on my stimulation centers this weekend, and instead go for a one-shot movie, such as the Cowboy Bebop movie or Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust.

Basically, these days, I'm trying to find a compromise between my life, the all-pervasive sense of failure and my original stated philosophy of little victories and little stimulations - a simple job, simple pleasures, and the use of entertainment as a soporific against the shards of failed ambition and failed expectations. Also, they keep the recurring suicidal thoughts at bay. That, plus my inability to escape the visceral feeling that suicide these days has really gone out of fashion as a statement of intent - it seems to be less of an extreme, intense life-changing(or ending) action/emotional throb of suffering, but more of a ubiquitous cultural norm, like Levi's blue jeans and Sony Walkmans. The same goes for nihilism, Goth, Christianity, conservatism, liberalism, and wearing black.

After all, I need something to keep my inadequacies at bay, and what better way to buttress off depression, frustration and angst than by using sloth, indolent gratification, and media-generated self-indulgence? Using one weakness to compensate for another. Reminds me of the interesting moral paradox from Aristotle's Ethics(I think..) - imagine a person who is both misguided and indolent - he is misguided and thus has confused wrong and right, but is too indolent to perform his "moral duty"; ie, what he thinks is right. Hence, a good outcome is achieved since his indolence prevents him from acting misguidedly. Two wrongs DO make a right:)

And there; I've fulfilled the customary "angsting-on-a-blog" genuflection for the week.

"Anytime you can give the appearance of being a team player while making your co-workers look bad, you have done your job."

ah... i was posted to hq 4sab, signal company =) supposed to be a storeman... and now under training (by my upper-studies) to become the next store ic..
supposedly, ill be going for the storeman course in june or so, but at that time id noe almost everything bout storemanship (hehe actually now i already do more or less)..

my typical work day is quite nice..
0620: wake up
0630: breakfast parade (take attendence)
0650: go back bunk for area cleaning (sleep)
0745: first parade in no4
0800: start work
1000: canteen break
1030: continue work
1130: lunch break
1330: continue work
1500: canteen break
1530: continue work
1700: dinner break
1710: last parade
and thats it! mwahahahah =)

the work itself is pretty minimal too usually.. just loaning stuff, checking eq, maintainance etc..

the only prob now is that my unit is handling ndp (national day parade) this year, so got a LOT of work coming up..
and then shifting camp soon too! UGH. more work..
and another top secret activity that i cant say much about... =) just a lot of work..

handphones can be used all the time (silent mode during parades), and i charge my phone all over (in bunk or store usually)... =P

my company quite cool, got 4 platoons or so, but each platoon is roughly the size of a section in bmt =) (at least my store platoon and the hq platoon)..

my bunk overall is ok, but thats cos the fridge, tv and playstation makes up for the lousy cupboard, sponge matresses and lousy fans.. lucky we'r shifting soon hehehe =)

ah, takes me 45 min or more to reach an mrt station, so travelling out is a big bother.. i get 2 nights off a week (tues and thurs) but they only start next week since newcomers' first month cant take nights off, leave or off supposedly..

next week, i start a 2-week run of being duty storeman, meaning i wake up early, end late, do area cleaning for the store, stay in store during meals etc.. =(

oh well, i already have 1 day off (i think) credited cos we all worked very hard recently, and i heard our oc is going to give us another 3-5 days off for our efforts..!

ah, i like my unit a lot more than bmt!

being c9l2 is great too, during the brigade's live runs (on tues and thurs mornings), i dont need to run, warm-up is selective (i do if i want), and exercises all no need.. then cant do pushup, situp etc, ex guard duty, and a LOT of things.. as my upper-study said, everything i dont wanna do, no need to do. if they force u, just say ur back pain, then they cant do anything to u.. whee =)

[Ed:

I say you chao keng, you say I chao keng.
Actually, only Somchaya chao keng chao keng, hey!]

ah..
i realised that i havent been here for really really long.
so i shall update everyone on my current status =)
erm.. after i bathe.. hmm i got home a long time ago but havent bathed and its 1.30am.. ack!

lah di dah, i like my new unit quite a bit..

Bookout post:

Restored post

2 weeks down, 10 to go (with the last being a 2 day week)!

I was the Platoon I/C this week. Boy. Oh boy. Command, especially of the military sort, is just not for me - I'm too soft. My platoon mates (and even the Bruneians) commented that I often looked very mentally stressed. For some reason, the platoon was amused when I "hushed" them, and some decided to shout "hush" at various times, and mutter "hush puppies" at others. I don't really get it. They also said I'm longwinded. Also, "You're very comical as an i/c, although you don't know that" - Daniel. On the bright side, I was on MC for one day, had an off pass the next and was on guard duty one night, so I didn't have to be the i/c for that long :) Marching at the side of the platoon is cooler as you don't have hot bodies around, but you've to look out for superiors to greet.

We're starting to get into the rhythm of our course, but there's simply too much to study, in both theory and practical aspects. I missed the lesson on Bandaging of Wounds on Monday due to my MC, and wonder if I'll ever catch up. And I'm horrible with my hands, so I'm terrible at tying bandages and tourniquets.

I really do sweat a lot, and quite a few people have commented. Maybe it was the stress of being Platoon I/C this week. A sizeable number of people have been wearing just one set of Number 4 for the whole week - ugh - but I refuse to do that. Right now I think I'm going to go with 2 sets a week. Sounds disgusting, but such are our circumstances. And I hate wearing my jockey cap all the time!

I've been making do with public phones all week. As I predicted, no one bothers to march all the way down to the godforsaken one that I use (one of the 2-3 working phones there) - so far I've seen at most one other person on each day, so I've been able to chat merrily, for at least half an hour each day. Time to stock up on phonecards!

To this date, I've not actually drawn any of my slave (pittance) allowance. And prior to Tuesday night, I'd only gotten $200 from my parents since enlistment, so I've been living on hongbao money all the way :) When I casually mentioned this to my parents, I got $50 from each. Heh.

Lately, I've taken to sleeping on the floor. It's actually much cooler, though all manner of insects may crawl over you as you sleep.

On Tuesday, I went down for the PSC LMS (T) (I cannot be bothered to spell that out) scholarship interview. And I saw Kam Zhiming. Hahahaha. After the interview, I went down to RJ (yet again), in Number 4 for the first time, to get some stuff for the GP Application Question from Mrs Chan. I wonder how many people stared at me. Even though I took that little side trip, I still managed to finish everything and have lunch and booked in an hour earlier than I had to.

After I came back, we had our first IV (Intravenous Infusion). Erk. The catheter still hurts when it is embedded in the vein, so it's not just a quick "ant bite" (as injections are usually described - but what sort of ant?). For the first 3 IVs, we will be using the smaller needles (luckily). Because of the smaller needles, my response was quite muted - some strangled cries (not full voiced), no screaming and controlled writhing. I'm quite happy about my performance actually. And my buddy was very nice about it (for his trouble, I accidentally poked him in the wrist with the needle...). I just dread the larger needles, and it's terribly unfair - female trainees get to use the small needles for all their IVs.

We were finally knocked down - of all reasons, for some people making comments on how some of the permstaff were playing basketball while we were waiting for our computer lessons 2 storeys above.

A popular place to hide handphones is in your underwear - while you're wearing it. Ugh.

My brother in law gave me $10 as a taxi subisdy for my next night off! :)

Ever since I brought in my "Off!" insect repellent to spray every night, my sleep has not been interrupted by leg scratching sessions (though it has by wheezing and coughing bouts). However, some of the hardcore blood addicts still bite even if the repellent has been sprayed. Bloody buggers.

I saw and talked to my sec 4 classmate Tan Yong Chye Charles! Seems people pop up everywhere. He's learning to be a storeman in SMM. It's ironic - all the fit sportsmen get downgraded because of their injuries.

I think that the Recruits' Messes in BMTC are better furnished than the Officers, Warrant Offciers and Specialists' Mess here. Aww.

Kumar says the AJC uniform is thick, waterproof and fireproof as well. And he was surprised when I asked if the supplier was "Finest Fashion".

On Wednesday, Kumar and I were in the second shift of people guarding the MOPs and Fieldpacks in the training shed during lunch time. In the end, nobody relieved us so we spent 1 1/2 hr there while everyone else slept in the bunk.

It's really disgusting - I'd brought my singlet out to the drain to wring, and presumably as I wrung it, a giant spider crawled on. When I returned to the bunk, it crawled down my leg until I flicked it off with the singlet, whereupon it crawled under the bed. I thought I'd lost it, but later when I took my boots out to put on, it was lying motionless there. Daniel then came and stepped on it. And on the same day, our ceiling lights, for some reason, started attracting not only the usual flying insects but new guests - honeybees. Go figure. Stupid monsters.

We were supposed to have another night off on Thursday, but the whole of my bunk did not get to have it because apparently in the other bunks during area cleaning, many people were lying on the beds and complaining of chest pains. Our bunk only had 2 non-bunk cleaners present - one had just returned from the toilet, and I was cleaning up the ichor of the giant spider. Oh well. Later that day, before the night off, we saw one platoon get pumped in civvies - is that allowed?

Our latest computer lesson had a survey programmed in, with a box to collect comments. I doubt anyone reads what we might type in, though.

During Stand By Bed, some people didn't have any soap, so they split their buddy's bar into two and took one half. Too bad they got caught!

The whole of Friday was spent doing CPR. Suspiciously, all the mannikins in the CPR centre are female. The tests for CPR were rather hard, and I think quite a few people will have to come back on a future Sunday to retake the tests after failing. After CPR, I went off guard duty. No more carrying of rifles! Instead, prowlers walk around with truncheons and a searchlight (and don't need to don webbing either). Much help the truncheon will be against intruders. I had the sentry position, so I got to be blown by a powerful fan during each of my two 2 hour shifts. I got scolded for sitting down, while Frank on the previous shift got away with sleeping - flat on the ground with legs sticking out of the sentry post. Anyhow, Detail 3, the one I was in, is the worst as you get the least sleep: Before 10pm, they hold frequent turnouts to prevent you from sleeping so the only time you can sleep is after 10pm, but that is when detail 3 starts its work. So detail 3 gets a maximum of 4 hours of sleep while the other 2 details get up to 6 hours of sleep.

Someone bought a prawn cake (the fried dough fritter with a unshelled prawn stuck on top) and threw away the whole prawn, not just the shell. What a waste.


Quotes:

"Go back to bunk and tactically use your handphone."

"Why, today, all very excited? IV?"

"[On IV] Remember to put off your handphones before you start. [Trainee: Sergeant, no handphone] Don't bluff. (turn)"

"[On IV] Because of this, you want to AWOL?"

"We come here learn medic skill, not medic song (to learn, skills, not a)"

"[At 9:55am] Section 8, go for a 20 minute break. Come back at 10:45. How long is your break? [Trainees: 20 minutes]"

"[On the double decker beds] Please, those who sleep on top, don't fall off the bed"

"You know, you like unit man already. Everytime, [you want to go to the] 'bunk'. (you're like a)"

"Your POP... 24km route march, full battle order, stretcher and MOP... No lah."

"Saturday lunch is usually very nice one (nice)"