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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

"The way to write American music is simple. All you have to do is be an American and then write any kind of music you wish." - Virgil Thompson

***

Someone on Florence Foster Jenkins: "i now have something to play when my neighbours start yelling at each other :)"


Sent via the feedback form: "Hey, whats the meaning of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"?"

Unfortunately, the person didn't leave his email address, so I will have to address the query here. This idiom means that well-intentioned actions can backfire with horrible results. Ergo, good intentions alone do not suffice to sanction a course of action.

***

Why is it impossible to find a non-slutty rendition of "Santa Baby"? Argh.

I can't seem to find one which has the right mix of class, suggestiveness and outright sluttiness *winkwink*-ness, and they all err on the side of the latter. Cynthia Basinet's is the closest I can find, probably because of it's 50s feel (which is why it's wrongly attributed to Marilyn Monroe), since we know society hadn't yet become so decadent in that decade.


Someone: "actually, I have heard one. but it was sung during a furniture advertisement"

Someone else: "was it even meant ot be non slutty. find some children's choir"

***

The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus (Reprinted from Al Franken's "Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them - A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right")

Thomas: Shouldn't you feed the lepers, Supply Side Jesus?

Supply Side Jesus: No, Thomas, that would just make them lazy.

James: Then shouldn't you at least heal them, Supply Side Jesus?

Supply Side Jesus: No, James, leprosy is a matter of personal responsibility. If people knew I was healing lepers there would be no incentive to avoid leprosy.

(...)

Supply Side Jesus: It is easier for a rich man to enter Heaven seated comfortably on the back of a camel, than it is for a poor man to pass through the eye of a needle! If you are prosperous on Earth, that means that God is rewarding your rugged individualism. If you are poor, it is a sign that God frowns on your reliance on handouts.

***

The Nice Guy

"The Nice Guy is an online comic strip (and a comic book...and hopefully soon to be a sitcom or major motion picture if we can sell out fast enough) about a guy named Jeff, his friends, and the trials and tribulations of being--YOU guessed it--a nice guy.

The hero of our tale, Jeff is "The Nice Guy". Women love to be his friend, but rarely seem to end up dating him. Cursed with involuntary decency, he often finds himself stepped on, taken advantage of, and yet remains hopeful that he'll one day find true love. Jeff lives with his two best friends, Frank and Peg, and is hopelessly in love his female friend Becki, who remains only that--his female friend...

Becki:
Turn-ons: Tattoos, aloofness, men who need saving

Turn-offs: Men who treat her with respect and open car doors and pay for dinner and don't sleep with her best friend

Becki prefers men who are completely bad for her. Addicted to bad boys, men she can "fix" and a wide variety of losers, Becki struggles through one bad relationship after the next, usually blaming herself for not being able to make it work. She's occasionally manic, often phobic, believes in never giving up on that light at the end of the tunnel, has self-esteem that's below sea level, and always knows she can count on Jeff to be there when things go wrong."


Uhh.
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