"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard

Random Playlist Song: Chopin - Etude Op 25 No 9 in G flat Major (Butterfly)

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The Sordid Story of SMU

"The true story is that one day a bunch of MIW were sitting around in the Vice-Chancellor's place having a drink. And one of them lamented that his super-smart, ultra-perfect son had qualified for NUS engineering but wanted to go to NUS business instead. And NUS business cut-off point (another national secret) had surged upwards in recent years.

And the group of them chatted about this phenomenon of all these bright kids going into something as stupid Undergrad Business... instead of that holiest of holies ENGINEERING...

So they decided to that in order to make NUS B-School less attractive to Singaporeans, they would have to destroy its brand. So NUS would have to lose its business school...

The NTU Dean pointed out... that if NTU lost its business school.... then all of a sudden.. you would have a gazillion male nerdy engineer dudes living in an ulu part of the island with no women at all...

No women = no babies = no future peasants!!!

And that was when the whole plan fell apart, so SMU was set up."

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Philip Yeo Sparks Surge in Sex Change Operations and Emigration

"“It’s true that we guys get whiny thanks to NS,” said Corporal (NSF) Choe Sai Kang, who is also contemplating an A*Star scholarship. “But that’s all you can do when you encounter stupidity and can’t do anything about it because if you do, you’ll kena DB. Anyway, if we’re whining about A*Star scholarship conditions even after doing NS, what does that say about A*Star except that they’re more condemned than the SAF? I guess that’s Singapore for you: they want us not only to face up to stupidity, they want us to like it too.”

Those who can’t bear changing their sex, have opted to change their nationality instead.

“After taking two years of shit for my country, not only is it not appreciated, I’m told they’d rather have foreigners who have never endured a single day for Singapore,” said Mr. Mohd Cabut bin Negara. “I wish I’d known earlier. If so, I’d have emigrated long ago so I can be the kind of person that Mr Yeo wants for Singapore.”

Meanwhile, a spokesman for A*Star has said that the hoopla has only proven Mr. Yeo’s point that Singapore men are whiny, thin-skinned girly men who can’t take unpleasantness.

“Yeah, right,” said Corporal Choe. “I really accept that criticism from someone who threatens to sue obscure bloggers for defamation.”"

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Mindjack - Piracy is Good?

"British satellite broadcaster SkyOne — part of NEWS Corp's BSkyB satellite broadcasting service — ran the premiere episode of the re-visioned 70s camp classic Battlestar Galactica... so three months would elapse between the airing of "33" in the UK, and its airing in the US. Or so it was thought...

The British aficionados of the series provided torrents for each episode within a few hours of each broadcast. Many fans in the US picked them up and watched them; so did many people in Australia.

While you might assume the SciFi Channel saw a significant drop-off in viewership as a result of this piracy, it appears to have had the reverse effect: the series is so good that the few tens of thousands of people who watched downloaded versions told their friends to tune in on January 14th, and see for themselves. From its premiere, Battlestar Galactica has been the most popular program ever to air on the SciFi Channel, and its audiences have only grown throughout the first series. Piracy made it possible for "word-of-mouth" to spread about Battlestar Galactica...

The pervasive culture of TV downloading leaves the producers of pre-produced television programs high and dry, receiving nothing of value for their work. But is this really true? The absolute, basic motivation of a TV producer is not money — though money is needed for production — but to gain and hold an audience's attention. TV producers want their programming to be watched as widely as possible — by everyone. That's what they care about, and that's all they care about, because, with viewers, everything else takes care of itself: audiences equal money."

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magic missile () - video

Cop: Your friend says you shot him with an arrow

Guy: No, my friend opened a booby-trapped chest and a Magic Missile booby trap set by goblin sappers - that is what hit him

Cop 2: The booby trap, which was you

Guy: No, he was trying to show me that he could duck out of the way of an arrow - of an arrow and I had to show him that a longbow at close range with a Magic Missile, uh, enchantment on it - there's no way to duck out of the way in -

Cop: So you rolled a 18 and then what happened?

Guy: I rolled a 18. He failed his saving throw [Cop: Ah] and then the arrow got him between where the greave adjusts

Cop: Ah, well there's only the 3 points you can tell

Later...

Guy: I live in a world of cold steel, and dungeons, and mighty foes, and

Cop: Oh, I live in a world of dungeons too. The dungeon where I'm taking you is called the Reno County Jail... You gonna love that

Cop 2: There's a dragon there named Nick the Grip and he's been - uh

Even later...

Guy: I'm wearing Boots of Escaping! I'm wearing Boots of Escaping! *Guy gets shot by a taser* I will call down a mighty reckoning on you!

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The Illusion of Racial Harmony? - "Upon hearing this, fellow conscript said that Malays ought to buck up and ‘prove themselves to the other races’. And he sincerely believed that it was the Malays fault. Most Singaporeans consider Malays to be lazy and that their relative poverty is their own fault. I used to think so too but at least I grew smarter and escaped from the government’s Chinese chauvinist rhetoric."

Three People Killed Over Role-Playing Game in Southeastern Brazil - "A 21-year-old man and his parents were killed after the man agreed to be murdered along with his family if he lost a murder-mystery role-playing game, local media reported Saturday"