"The happiest place on earth"

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Saturday, March 15, 2003

Our cookhouse seems to be very taken with the merits of Minestrone soup for the times they have Pseudo-Western food. Well, it's minestrone in name only; it's been getting worse as time passes and now it's more like Cream of Tomato soup with noodles and chili. They should just have gone back to the previous fixation with Cream of Chicken.

It's very sad. Ever since I started imitating him, Kiong hasn't been laughing his inimitable laugh! How to describe it? It's starts as a rasping sound in the throat and then proceeds to sound like a vocal exercise I used to do during choir, one where you hit the top note and then glissando your way down.

An interesting consequence of my JC friends all either being Officers or in OCS, studying overseas, or downgraded (and many from both categories being in stayout, non-operational units) is that I seem to have cornered the market for English writing. So from time to time, I'm asked to smoke up something suitably impressive for someone's use. Somewhat flattering, actually, especially when I see people salivate over the results :) Oh dear, I better not grow too big for my boots.

Someone, as a joke, told me to tell someone else that he was cute, had kissable lips, was well hung and that he could blow him the whole day. The latter's response: "Tell him if he does that I'll go and fuck him... [realises his mistake] Tell him if he does that I'll go and whack him". Haha.

Many people in camp seem to have a powder fetish. I attribute this partly to the touting of the merits of powder during talks in BMT. I've always been skeptical about the benefits of applying powder, and the few times I -have- tried it have left me wanting. Especially repellent is Prickly Heat powder. Perhaps for the same reason people love to trick their mouth and tongues into thinking that they are on fire by eating foods with chili, people love to feel the vulgar, faux-cool/heat that comes from a liberal application of that wretched substance, which has a most vile odour about it, to boot. Those most guilty of this sin are Yongsiang and Melvin (who always has powder around his collar - tut tut). I wouldn't mind if people engaged in powder baths everyday, really, but the thing is all the powder emitted into the atmosphere inevitably lands on my artefacts. And I've no way of knowing where the powder was previously. For all I know it could have been caressing someone's gonads before landing on my bedsheet!


I realise that, apart from the Airport, I haven't seen a Starhub payphone anywhere for a long while. I wonder if they finally recognised the futility of the whole enterprise.

I was discussing our Chief Justice's sentences with someone, and neither of us could recall an instance where he didn't increase someone's sentence on appeal. Probably this is because such cases aren't reported, but I do think it's a little unfair to increase people's sentences just like that, especially when he doubles (or worse) their sentences. Appeal courts aren't supposed to punish you even harder than you have been.

I notice the police didn't arrest the "Lettuce Ladies" from PETA even though they didn't have a permit. Ahem.

I'm quite pissed out (even more than usual) with the tack that those companies offering Breast Enhancement services are taking nowadays. "Local men encouraging wives to take up bust enhancement program". I think we should boycott PrettiSlim and its PrettiBosom program!


The International Criminal Court is finally up. Of course, the USA is not participating because many lawmakers are unreasonably paranoid that the court will be used to persecute US soldiers. It's interesting to see how the USA has been paranoid in many regards, in cases like these. Usually it's only Communist Regimes that are this insecure and neurotic. This, combined with the arrogance coming from being the pre-eminent state in the world today, and the fear that some people are trying to put America down (some are, surely, but the paranoia exhibited is plain ridiculous) goes some way towards explaining much US foreign and domestic policy of dubitable utility.


Quotes:

[Me: Let me weight myself] Weigh yourself? Wait, this I must see.

[On my recording of someone's laughter] His laugh is even more bone-chilling

[On my recording of someone's laughter] It sounds, like Diablo

[On kicking the wall during Unarmed Combat to practice the sliding side kick] And now, gentlemen, I teach you how to vandalise the SAF property (I'll, SAF)

[Me: Your uniform looks very very fresh] It's always been. [Me: How do you keep it so radiant and vibrant?] Ask my maid.

GP car hai2 shi4 (Translation: or) admin vehicle? [Driver: GP car] Yes! Yes! [Sings] I love GP car

[On going somewhere on official business] Bye. I'm off to the zoo.

You can't come in. *** is masturbating.

[On my CPL rank being sewn on shoddily] Jialat. Yours is even worse than mine. Nevermind. This one is called, 'I fucking don't care'. Right? I respect you.

Derrick requests the pleasure of your presence in Room 4 [People start laughing]

[On my chocolate] I want! Can give me one?... Eee, what happened to the colour? (Can you)

You should aspire to be a spec [Specialist]. Then you can do important things like conducting warmups.
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