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I hate how everyone has to be shallow And deep- about anything and everything. And my life is mine- think very carefully before you tell me how to run it.
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Why doesn't anyone pick up the phone when i call?? (*cries eyes out*)
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I can't stand people who misquote "Mark 8:36- What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? ". I have issues with people who use the Holy Book out of context and for their own purposes.
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Message today at the 7pm service was about conflict and conflict resolution as detailed in Matthew 18:15 to 19. And i have a grudge to resolve with the music co-ordinator in SJSM in singapore- one that is giving me issues with serving in music ministry here. I just don't want to be hurt again and treated as if i didn't matter- oh wait, the latter was with the whole thing in general. One realizes that i wasn't perceived much as a member when the pastor calls all those going to study in in australia by name and conveniently leaves me out.
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I'd just Languish if i was confined to the ormond chapel service. Or any other service run along those lines. It's just... as my confirmation classes teacher Pierre leong (there i remembered his name!) said- in his opinion the only legitimate reason for leaving a church was if one didn't think one was learning from the teachings. Yes, i'm not happy with the teachings there. And i'm not comfortable with the way the service is structured.
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If i ever get in the college choir my sundays will be hectic as anything... rushing to a church service outside ormond, grabbing a bite from brunch, and choir prac starting at 3. Noo way will the chapel be my primary church.
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And what abt swanston st? I like it a lot. A lot. But to be involved in church, to be in circumstances where i'm not looking for the odd melb-uni-OCFer or so to say hi to .. c.f. sjsm.
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And all this conflicts with the reason my parents gave for leaving chapel of the holy spirit- that of power play and people they had conflicts with.
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I'm very grateful for the affirmations of all of u around me .... including abt my chances for the choir, and li ming's mentioning of a non-cell grp ocf-er who noticed me.
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(goes back to cry into his pillow)
