Feminist Advertising: SDN Postcard

"Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria." ― Naomi Wolf

***

Recently, I came across feminist rage over the following SDN postcard:


"Evolution. Gotta love it!"

The reverse (not fisked) reads:


"Follow your heart, not your checklist. Sharp dressing and good looks don't solve arguments - beauty is in someone who understands and evolves with you.

Love happens anywhere, everywhere. Give love a chance."

The list of charges:

potato-skins: This ad postcard by the Social Development Network (SDN aka a government-run dating agency here in Singapore) makes me so angry that I actually feel physically unwell.

I am going to have to do this in point form because I’m so angry and I will try to be coherent. These are my problems with it, and I’m no expert:

1) It imposes this ‘natural’ progression of an individual’s life. This view of what you should be doing but the nuclear family unit is a relatively modern phenomenon. Moreover this vision of heteronormality is one that has been determined by the government, not the individual.

2) This is not science, so don’t you dare use the word “evolution”. This is social engineering, not factual objective science.

3) What about the people who are not cis, straight or otherwise don’t fit into the male/female dichotomy of ‘mainstream’ society? Are my gay, trans, asexual (and so on) friends somehow less evolved than their cis and straight counterparts?

4) By being of majority age but single, I am somehow less evolved than my friends who are in relationships. This enrages me beyond words. My relationship status DOES NOTdetermine the value of my life. I will pay my taxes, I will contribute to society, I will make someone’s life a bit more interesting, I will stimulate the economy, I will be filial to my parents. But just because of one thing — I am not in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, either by choice or circumstance — I am worth less in the eyes of the government. I am less evolved. I am not a human being who is worth much.

5) Women are not gachapon machines. You do not put money into them and out pops a baby. So many factors determine whether couples choose to have a child/ren that aren’t just financial. It is demeaning and sexist and patriarchal and assumes that the couple’s natural place — the woman’s natural place — is to have children.

6) You do not determine what I do with my body. Not just as a woman, but as a human being. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

7) Because SDN is a government agency, these are being printed with taxpayer money. This vision of hetero-normality is being imposed on us, against our will, with our money.

That’s all I can think about and articulate right now, because I am just so angry. Shame on you, SDN. Shame on you, government.

#made by me #feminism #power and justice #social justice #singapore

mizhallelujah: When I first saw this, I actually thought it was some homophobic claptrap being circulated by Singapore’s equivalent of the religious right. You’re telling me this was printed and paid for by state money?

“Rage” doesn’t even being to articulate what I am feeling now. Good thing Viki managed to express my thoughts above because I want to do is to throw my keyboard into the screen. REPEATEDLY.

Nevermind that the SDN had hugely, disgustingly classist and frankly eugenic roots as an organisation that was started specifically to “encourage” university graduates to hook up with each other because oh noes we need our smart people to breed with other smart people and make smart babies BARF

# power and society; lgbtq; sexism; singapore; fuck you omg; seriously just fuck you


A few points they missed out:

- This postcard is ageist because it claims that older people are more evolved than younger
- The postcard is sexist because it shows that only men can evolve (notice the woman exists only to be a partner for the male)
- It is religiously insensitive, because not everybody believes in Evolution
- It's insensitive to left handers, because it privileges the rightward direction and associates it with progress (did you know left handed people used to be openly discriminated against within living memory? Or that they are more prone to post traumatic stress disorder [undoubtedly due to social discrimination]? Shocking!)
- It reinforces gender stereotypes with the male having short hair all his life and the female having longish hair (and wearing a skirt) Oh, my soul - how it hurts to be unable to see itself reflected even in such a simple postcard?! I am going to feel physically sick very soon.

As such, I have done a feminist re-imagining of this postcard:


(I was going to put "Gotta exist!" at the bottom, but that would be insensitive for people who want to commit suicide/the memory of people who have committed suicide as it would be coercing them into living)

Doesn't this make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and want to go out and get together with someone, and then make babies (or adopt them, for couples not consisting of a man and a woman, both fertile; or do absolutely nothing at all, for those who are happy being single)?

Of course, I'm not sure if this inclusive design would fit on a postcard. Perhaps it would, but the aspect ratio would be really off and the silhouettes would be so small one wouldn't know what the hell the postcard was about.

Assuming we worked through all the logistical issues, can you imagine the reception such a postcard would enjoy? I bet AWARE and feminists would be really happy, and would encourage the rest of the population to celebrate this inclusive work.

Unfortunately I was unable to be truly inclusive and include trans-gendered portrayals. Among other reasons, due to cis gender privilege, I was unable to think of a way to portray transsexuals in silhouette form. As such I regretfully announce that my feminist re-imagining is still trans-phobic.

Also, I was unable to find a silhouette of a little girl where she doesn't have long hair and is not wearing a skirt. As such I am reinforcing gender stereotypes. Think of all the little girls who don't wear skirts and/or don't have long hair who will see this reimagined postcard and get it in their mind that they are not real girls. Ditto for the silhouette of the woman. Oh, dear me!

Worse, to save space and avoid repeating myself, I didn't replicate every single progression series of silhouettes. There are now 2 series showing the life of a male who forms a couple but only one showing the life of a female who forms a couple (and she is lesbian). Quelle horreur ! And also, because I had to go and eat dinner, I was unable to do a series representing a female who gets into a heterosexual relationship, or a male single (since it is important to keep statistical equality so neither gender feels oppressed because of having one fewer series for them). Male privilege strikes again, privileging the male story (or history), and sidelining the female version (herstory).

I am also really ashamed that I was unable to find a usable silhouette of a proper lesbian couple, and was thus reduced to using two generic female figures. This dehumanises lesbians by reducing them to an abstract representation of their gender, instead of representing them as proper living human beings like the rest of the silhouettes.

I think I still failed in my mission and have been an agent of Bigotry. Ah well.

It thus falls to greater sorts (hopefully a lesbian who won't suffer from Straight Privilege and Male Privilege) to design an even more inclusive postcard and spend taxpayers' money promoting absolutely no cause at all, since we cannot oppress people by even encouraging them to do anything.

While I'm on my high horse, let me give a big FUCK YOU to the government of Singapore for determining what I do with my body. The Human Organ Transplant Act is a gross violation of my right to bodily integrity, because even though it's opt-out you're trying to coerce me into doing something with my body. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

At the same time, I condemn the National Healthy Lifestyle Programme for privileging a state-sanctioned conception of health and imposing it upon us with taxpayers' money, against our will.

Shame on you! Shame, shame, shame.

Conversations - 3rd April 2012

Me: but she's a bit two faced

Someone else: Two faced? How so
Am I two faced too?

Me: for one, she's a lawyer ;)

Someone else: Why r u so wary of her

Me: didnt I tell you wat happened

Someone else: Yes
But benefit of doubt?
Nevermind :)

Me: would you rather be stupid or evil?

Someone else: Evil

Me: so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she's evil ;)


Someone: amazing... after I checked the box for "Casual Sex" under the Looking
for section, I was inundated with messages on OK Cupid
hahahahahaha...

[Ed: the gender of the speaker should be clear]


Someone else: just went for another single depserate and notwanted event
it was very badly organised

we stayed at each table for about 10 minutes or so

its hard to get to know someone tt well
so i guess is primarily based on 1st impression

anyway most of the ladies r the type that most guys wouldnt even take a 2nd look at

the really "eligible" ones...1 or 2...would be swarmed after the event
as in
after the event offically ends

Me: 10 mins is quite long liao

aiyah dont be so shallow :P

Someone else: even though i had "managed expectations", there were only 2-3 tt really caught my attention

Me: hurr
is it just looks?

Someone else: when u have such a short attention given to each lady
what could u assess on
besides looks

likewise the most pressing qn the girls wanted to ask e guys to form an impression is "what do u work as?"

Me: actually they want to know how much you earn :P

Someone else: i noe
but they cannot ask this qn as a first qn

based on occupation, they can filter off those tt arent eligible

Me: sad.

try telling them you're a phd student
the ones who are still interested will be keepers =D


Me: aiyah most people's response when challenged is to insult

Someone: Yes, it seems to be the norm. He seems threatened easily.

Me: heh singaporeans are easily offended
then when they're offended, call police

Someone: hahahahaah
Self-importance,
self-righteous
and more.

Me: singaporeans think they have a right to be protected from offence

Someone: I remember once hanging up on a person who promptly called back
and asked do you know who I am?
I replied, no i don't and I hung up.

he called back again
asking if i knew who he was
and I said no and hung up

he continued calling for the next 3 hours.
I didn't know who the caller is. I hung up on him many more times.
I never did find out who that caller was incidentally.

He was peddling direct blind mass-emailing
and I said there are going to be laws on it in a few years time and I
find this to be a rather pointless exercise in pissing off potential
customers.

Speaking of offence,
two weeks ago
I said I find Siglap to be an urban sprawl and thus a suburban hell

I got flamed by a number in the *** group
who deemed that what I described as suburban hell is insensitive

they proceeded to call me low IQ and EQ in no uncertain terms
andm ore

Yes, you are right about them on offence.
Quite a funny thing to be offended about too.

Me: you disagree with me = you're dumb
you tell me that you disagree with me = you're insensitive

Someone: They would not agree to a contrary point of view.
or even allow it
which seems to be rather common.


Someone else: at the risk of betraying my own gender on international women's day, i think men tend to get ahead at work cos they dun take things so personally/ sweat the small stuff as much


Someone on Zhang Yimou's 'Flowers of War': it belongs to the old PRC genres of national humliation, foreign peril, foreign devil,

Something to do this Saturday

Alexis was pimping an event called Real Love Works 2012 (it's not supported by SDN but MCYS is behind it and anyway it's in the SDN spirit so I've tagged it as such).



At Punggol Waterway this Saturday from 5:30pm-7:30pm, entry to this event is billed as "Free for all in love".

Description of the event: "Come celebrate the excitement and joys of marriage with Marriage Central at the launch of Real Love Works. Stroll down Punggol Waterway in this fun and unique walk with meaningful couple activities from tying a love knot on the Heart of Marriage, harvesting the flower of love, to capturing memorable moments with our iPhone "Love Journal" app and more! Cuddle up close to your spouse as you watch the sunset together and enjoy an evening of smooth jazz featuring popular artistes."

Meanwhile the registration form just asks for:

"Name of Contact person
IC no.
Contact no.
Partner’s name
Partner's IC no.
Partner's Contact no."

It doesn't ask for gender, or say you to have to be married. So I'm now looking for a guy friend (one I already know, of course - preferably married, even) to go with!

Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true

After a long time without an SDN post, here comes one:

Say it with love, make time

"In this first of a three-part series, we explore marriage and family life expert Dr Gary Chapman’s bestseller The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts...

Danny* in his 30s, was not so vocal with expressing his love, while his date Lynn* in her 20s, wondered why Danny did not profess his love for her...

* - Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those being quoted"


I found this very funny because, as Dragnet puts it, "names have been changed to protect the innocent".

Or, alternatively, names are changed when people are embarrassed. Which possibly might be the case with a SDN publication...

Observations - 29th July 2011

"This is like deja vu all over again." - Yogi Berra

***

I was amused by the #whitepeoplestink Twitter hashtag.

Causing trouble - especially if you have special needs others must cater for - is an underrated form of power.

Amused at the parallels between Niemöller and domino theory.


Online articles with different titles and <title> tags are puzzling and annoying - I don't know which one to use to link to them

Wondering how many of the 'work from home' schemes involve spamming the Internet with godawful scam sites

Amused by Google Maps directions to "Jet ski across the Pacific Ocean 782 km"; http://is.gd/gjPzC


"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." ~ Homer Simpson

Many women have complex relationships with their mothers. A Freudian interpretation is half plausible

I saw a girl in miniskirt carrying a skateboard. How does that work? ("It does not have to work. It just has to happen.")


One SDN event calls "for Ladies and Gentlemen born in the 70s and 80s". That's a very wide range of ages (21 to 40), and a great way to exclude those older than 40!

Yet too long to quit your job & enjoy yourself. RT @spoonrabbit Life is too short to waste it listening to bullshit. Ugh. #fact

Interestingly, despite the propaganda there was only 1 documented incident, in 1944, of a German U-boat gunning the survivors of an attack. In contrast there were hundreds of cases where they instead provided assistance after torpedoing the boats.

Amused you can pass the JLPT without being able to speak OR write any Japanese at all.

Many many months ago I saw women-only parking lots at Furama Riverfront (maybe they're not there anymore). Someone said that "it would be really funny if these lots were parallel parking ones..."

Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, it's too long.
Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

"There's no sense in running away from your problems"
"Unless they are a lion"

Perhaps paternity uncertainty explains why people are closer to their mothers than fathers

Spam subjects:
"Big penis like a girl!"
"Big-penis is-like an expensive-car!"
i.e. Extravagant luxuries and not necessities?

"恁娘: 原指對方的母親，現已變成用來罵人的粗俗語" - The Taiwanese Ministry of Education approves of this.
Also, there is a Wikipedia entry for "幹你娘". Very good.
Lastly, "ka-kī-lâng" comes out as "家己人", not "自己人"!


"Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML"

RT @bioanarchism went for outfield with vodka in one water bottle and plain water in the other. never felt better throughout the cold night

Goodluck "Friends" Centre - Would SDN approve?

"A book of quotations . . . can never be complete." - Robert M. Hamilton

***


(via Wanjun)

"Goodluck Friends Centre
www.goodluck.com.sg

A Classic Place for Professional Men & Pleasant Ladies

(unlimited introduction till marriage, strictly confidential)

Quality Control

Conditions to be a member with GOODLUCK
* Ladies must be neat and pleasant looking, with good disposition
* Men preferably must be with good income and moral character

** Apology: We sincerely apologise to those who are not qualified to enrol at our centre"

I am wondering which is more important for men: good income or moral character (since these are preferred but not mandatory, presumably at least one can be dropped)


I'm trying to decide if the website is better than the ad, with gems like:

"Mr Horatio Lee, our founder did some research on how to get a good amount of members that have the quality in them. For example, how to attract pleasant looking ladies and successful gentlemen into our pool"

"It's frequent for us to hear members calling us and say:

"Hi ! Mr Lee, the lady you introduced me..... She's so beautiful and cheerful. I really enjoy going out with her."

"Hello Mr Lee, the guy is so successful and gentlemanly. Thank you for introducing me such a nice guy.""

"Below are some references of our available members. The income figures being shown are being rounded off to the nearest figure.

Because of huge numbers, only 20% of our active members are available for viewing online."
(you can search for members by height, weight and income, and the listing shows if they have a car and/or house. Tellingly, all you see about them are statistics - there's no essay feature)

Singapore's Mail Order Bride Agency

"Love Bought Together" (from the SDN newsletter)

(this advertises their contest, "A Love Brought Together")


I have created a label called "sdn" to aggregate all my SDN posts!

Observations - 12th July 2010

"Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true." - Solomon Short

***

My last Observations post was in March. No wonder I have so much crap in my draft.


On the obsession with homosexuality: RT punslabyrinth: @gssq hahha.. it's the 'in' thing these days isn't it.. to the point that honestly as a non-homosexual i feel marginalised sometimes!

RT @yaarn "Then there are linguists out there who don't want to see these (minority) languages die because then they'll be out of a job"

When someone says you're "overintellectual", "pseudointellectual", "overanalyse" or "think too much", what they are really saying is "I don't know how to answer your question. I shall avoid it and try to distract you with a Jedi mind trick" or "answering your question makes me uncomfortable. I shall avoid it and try to distract you with a Jedi mind trick".

On summarising himself in discussion threads: "Unfortunately this sort of summary is often necessary as I will often lose track of the line of argument myself and after several posts back and forth, will find myself arguing over something completely unrelated to the original post, or worse, find my earlier position completely reversed in later posts without even realising it."

"What have you learnt from Japanese girls?"
bookshopbear: "That make-up solves many of life's problems for them."

It's ironic that Mandarin, literally the language of Mandarins, has become rebranded as what is literally "normal language" ("普通话").


Patriarchy is a reaction to female mate choice and paternity uncertainty.

I am amused that a lot of people (including most women who have expressed an opinion on the topic) think that female bosses are worse than male ones, but no one thinks males are worse.

Of the people I know or know of who are taking or took breaks from employment, only one is male (and he was studying for his CFA). This is definitely something that must be taken into account when examining the gender wage gap (it almost certainly also has interaction effects with childcare).

Besides possible comparative advantage in doing housework (a suggestion that, bizarrely but predictably, got denounced as "deeply misandrist"), another reason that might explain why women do more housework than men is that they are more fastidious, or have higher standards of hygiene. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find studies on this (note: studies, not rhetoric, or baseless popular magazine articles).


If you're race blind, you will offend racial sensitivities.

If you want a ‘safe’ environment, most likely you just want your views to be ‘safe’ from criticism.
Addendum: keywords - "same from critical", "safe from examination", "sarah silverman"

I wonder if someone has done a study of the "racism" and "fear" of the Other inherent in the US banning Kang Kong, Snakehead and Konnyaku Jelly.

Nature is not Destiny, but if you ignore Nature, you're headed for Disaster.


RT @markleggett I like your Tumblr. Did you really find all these pictures on the internet? You're so talented.

RT @greenteacup: Most of the time, listening to girls talking is like Twitter - Most tweets r pointless n redundant.
(Someone asked what my large number of Twitter followers meant)

If Chatroulette had been coded by a PRC Chinese, would it have become so popular and international, given the closed ecosystem that is the Chinese Internet?


Why Singapore abandoned "Goal 2010": PRCs can't play football.

The Northern Chinese incursion into Chinatown is ironically inauthentic.

Maybe they hire Filipinas in hospitals instead of PRCs because unlike in restaurants, here a miscommunication could literally kill you.

The effects of Slavery: instead of getting riled up over politico-social issues, men hunt down men who've been less screwed

RT @infernoxv: thinks it's appalling how singaporeans with their shite mandarin make fun of the way mainland chinese speak mandarin. example: and then hor 我去他的office的時候那個 clerk很 bitchy的咯,每次給我dirty look, 真是 cannot stand it!

RT @ahaspel: A police state should admit error occasionally and pardon a few prisoners; it persuades the populace that the rest are guilty.

All SDN events which have a surplus of one sex have a surplus of women. In other words, the slots for ladies are all taken and only guys can register. Hurr hurr.

More SDN events (June 2010)

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" - Woody Allen

***

Event 1:


"Make Yourself Irresistible to Successful Men

A dynamic and heartfelt workshop by Inqueenz Founder and ex-Beauty Queen, Genecia Luo who will share with the participants her personal journey of meeting and dating successful men. Learn from the insider on how to bring out your inner magnet and attract the Right Men!"

(I can't access the event on the SDN website, but that usually happens to me anyway)

From elsewhere, we learn that:

1) The one-hand-on-waist, one-leg-forward pose is supposed to be attractive



2) The event is for women only (SDN promotes Family Values!)

3) There is a corresponding event called "Make Yourself Irresistible to Successful Men! (For Females Only)"

I guess that that, by posing the corresponding question for women, answers the original question for men: to be Irresistible to Successful Men, be a Beautiful Woman; to be Irresistible to Beautiful Women, be a Successful Man.


Event 2:


"Show your enthusiasm and win great prizes by dressing as a Pixar animated character! You could come as a cowgirl, spaceman, chef, superhero or boy scout, as long as it is a Pixar film character. Imagination is your only limitation!"

I was tempted to register for this event and come as one of the following:


Rex (Toy Story)


Kevin (Up)


Remy (Ratatouille)

Sure, I wouldn't get any dates but it'd be fun!

SDN brings back Philosophy Night

Despite their last Philosophy Night was a failure, SDN is trying again!



Philosophy Night with Ten Thousand Angels

"How about a philosophy discussion night with Ten Thousand Angels ? This session is set in a Roman Catholic palace that makes our inspiration runs to the greatest height!...

Event Venue: Plaza Singapore, A place with Ten Thousand Angels."

Now I'm wondering what Roman Catholic palaces there are in Plaza Singapura.

Appropriately enough, the Heart Rating is only One Heart. Philosophy doesn't set the loins on fire!

Did SDN fail in this activity?

SDN banner:


"Sun and sea cement their friendship"

If it was only friendship, then they've failed in their mission!

"The computing field is always in need of new cliches." - Alan Perlis

***

Amusing SDU SDN events:


1) Philosophy Night

Description: "Stimulate your mind while you explore and discuss a selected topic with other intellectual singles. A philosopher will facilitate and provide guidance in the lively discourse. This event is for singles who like to engage in thinking and expressing their thoughts and ideas."

This was supposed to be on 12th February, but it got cancelled. Probably because Singaporeans (or at least SDN members) aren't intellectual enough. Or maybe because it cost $88 (do philosophers cost that much to hire?!)


2) Economics of Dating

Description 1 (as of 23rd February): "Enjoy an interactive afternoon with other singles! Find out answers to your pondering questions using economic principles and decode the language of love. Price includes signature drink, desserts and light refreshments."

Description 2 (as of today): "Find out answers to your pondering questions using economic principles and decode the language of love. We'll have a Guest Speaker - a Phd in Economics from Harvard University. Price includes signature drink, desserts and light refreshments."

This still seems to be on for 13th March. Possibly because it costs only $48 - economists are cheaper to hire than philosophers (consider too that presumably refreshments weren't included for the first event).

I still say you get better value with my Unemployment Theory of Relationships.