More Search Referrals (divining the nature of humanity is enlightening indeed)

As usual I shall let most of these speak for themselves. You may comment on them if you wish.


raffles hall nus sex

saruman boob forum

consumer behaviour deodorant roll on Australia aerosol can

Proxomitron sharp nokia

use bittorrent ntu singapore - Not a very wise thing to do.

A&W Root Beer Stand Model Fold Up

hentai "deep voice" game

eric's growing paunch

"Hermione Hentai" -porn - But Hentai *is* porn (Xephyris, shut up)

Emma Watson tree naked

A&W ingredients headaches

"Neverwinter Nights" "weight gain"

HQ hental

nurse "give rectal" - I've given a rectal before. Does that count?

Female Cunt Shooting - It must be some game.

fiona xie bouncing boobs

JAP SEX WITH 8 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRLS VCD

pony girls bdsm

raffles institution guys masturbate - Why am I the first result for this on Yahoo?

toenail "ah lian"

act cute - The first result is a page analysing the USA's Patriot Act. Wth?!

"steven lim is a hunk"

singapore ah beng cheer

saf inefficient downgrade

sign up bukkake party germany audition

earlier inventions in opening durians

cursor hypnotic induction

Internet Explorer granny takes three ten inch dicks xxx - Why Internet Explorer?

singaporean apostate

Yao Ming height shoe size puberty

movie steven lim eyebrow plucker - I'll be the first to watch it.

frenulum tissue closed in a honey * * fashion

rubber penises athens opening ceremony

"Swee Shoon"

waiver for military service and self-mutilation

waffletown fried chicken - Mmm.

schoolgirl guestbook collection xxx

mass swim, nus, 2004

dawn zaogeng

weeping demon wah sound clip

"chij" "tight jeans"

sjsm blog kairen - Oddly enough, it didn't bring up his real blog.

"NUS hostels" sex

rgsyb - Interestingly enough, my old yearbooks site (intermittently down) is on the "Official blocklist of Information and Communications Technology Ministry of Thailand -- January 2004"

"uniform fetish" communist

"man playing piano""naked"

nus the sexiest leg contest

use of haram ingredients in islamic medicine

R@YGOLD MOM END SON - These people can't even spell

black leather wheel + pegs + S&M

jade-stone greenness paper

"dress like a girl" jews

"wearing gold chains" fetish porn

singapore schoolgirl zaogeng - Somehow I am the only result for this.

zlad gunther - Many people see the connection between them, I see.

malaysian sanitary vending machine franchise

singapore netball girls doing porn - I'm the 2nd for this result. Damnit.

e-mail address of people contact name chio in korea - "Hi. I'm very chio (even though as a Korean I don't use this word). Here's my email address. Please stalk me and ask me about my face job and implants."

samarkand "ali g"

what is the competitive advantages on Estée Lauder Beyond Paradise

"satan's beasts terrorists" - I see people still remember that psycho.

geraldine blog gabriel seah - Gah.

Play Game Online Michael Jackson's Moonwalker

serious neopets impact "primary school" teaching 2004

enid blyton slash fanfiction

Pope rollerblades

womens+olympics+2004+swimming+"see through"+revealing - Meanwhile: "So surely I'm not the only woman, whose sole reason for watching the Olympics is to perve on the hot European guys in speedos yeah? I mean, did you see those Greek synchronised divers who won gold?? A pair of damn fine asses. My husband had to keep mentioning - Honey close your mouth, you're drooling on the couch. Bring back nude Olympics I say."

molvanian idols - Zladko "Zlad" Vladcik will always be the man for me.

hwa chong stewardess

camp phoenix afghanistan sex OR fuck OR intercorse

rjc toilet

singapore KFC, 2353535

mexican eyebrow plucker

~clitoridectomy convent

"fashionable uniforms" school england - "Academic schools in Japan are appealing to fashion-conscious teenagers by introducing more styling uniforms. Attractive and fashionable uniforms can boost a school's enrollment."

rjc uniform fetish
vjc uniform fetish - The second came immediately after the first

+"qi gong" +"nocturnal emission"

pics of emma watson's dad

replica and display power ranger weapons

jailbait overclocking while anal

pics of women taking on long dong silver

commando missile batok

what do girls use to masterbate with - How about household items? (If you don't get the joke, never mind)

rabbi nazi "head shaved"

sexiest female shorts at Athens Olympics

horny young girls knee high socks

Redemption of Althalus personality tests - "You are David Eddings, the author of this book! All of your books are identical, yet idiots persist in buying them."

bathroom signs poems for septic tanks, no tampons

"saint philomena" bones male

compulsive-obsessive boys AND underwear

dan radcliffe's taste in girls girlfriend

fishbone diagram suicide

singapore flavoured condom ban - I'm sure Condomania sells some.

neoliberal homepage

funny things to say to girls

hentai na sic radical

Picture day by day week by week or month by month digital camera exericse or diet

bcg scar fetish

dangers of buying pirated media in malaysia - There are none.

gabriel seah and rjc - Gah.

NUS NTU SMU lousy universities

effects of sahaja bust cream

how can ENT problems and stamina be resolved by proper quran reading in arabic

njc barber blog

downloadable video of steven lim in singapore idol - I want!

schoolgirl loose socks photos

bandung_porn_film

Emma Watson's Thongs

bad pop music influences to malaysian teenager nowdays

pork in candlenut gravy

kokomo hernia center

Is it Haram to Watch Hentai in Islam

data entry jobs that you can do in your home that can gurantee you $ 800 a wee - Fat hope.

"alan turing" pedophilia

recipe for fried economy bee hoon

How to get rid of Bottlers on IRC

Lesbians Cadets Sent home from Argonaut

my doctor told me to eat a banana but it makes me sick

Emma Watson's brother

famous vietnamese singers wo hen nankan

girls posting nude pictures of themselves

how did Socrates contribute to the United States - I'm the top result. Yay.

porn videos teacher student talk in class rectal thermometer - So that's what the whole rectal thermometer thing is about.

When playing the "quickie cover all", the caller must announce the letter before each number

sikh boys dressing in baggy pants

scaphism -ringtones - For some reason a search for "scaphism" always turn up ringtones. Is there a group by that name?

carabinas bdsm

roman baths launceston nude

schoolgirl unwashed pe uniform - Yahoo Auctions

how to zaogeng - "There are two main ways to zaogeng - getting upskirted and getting downbloused. For the former, merely wear a skirt (preferably short), and sit heedless of etiquette. If you wish, you may try opening your legs a little but this is to be cautioned against, since the thrill is sometimes lost on the part of the viewer if they realise that the subject is zaogeng-ing on purpose. As for the latter, just wear a loose top, and stand near others so they can peer down it. Alternatively, bend down frequently to pick items up."

lin yucheng, spanish

Quote of the Post: "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." - David Lloyd George

Random Playlist Song: Jascha Heifetz - Partita #2 in Re Minor, BWV 1004 - Ciaccona

***

Quanxing sent me the following Army Posters:












Frankly, I could do better, even though my "graphics manipulation skills are limited to cutting and pasting, resizing and cropping" (see God's Billboards Parody. But I heartily applaud whoever made these for actually doing the deed :)

***

I like the following quotes from the latest Quotation series on the UCTAA page; even though I'm not a member of the UCTAA, being neither Apathetic nor Agnostic, I enjoy most of their meditations:

1. Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are God. Jean Rostand

4. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That unalterable rule applies both to God and man. John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton

7. Scientific education and religious education are incompatible. The clergy have ceased to interfere with education at the advanced state, with which I am directly concerned, but they have still got control of that of children. This means that the children have to learn about Adam and Noah instead of about evolution; about David who killed Goliath, instead of Koch who killed cholera; about Christ's ascent into heaven instead of Montgolfier's and Wright's. Worse than that, they are taught that it is a virtue to accept statements without adequate evidence, which leaves them a prey to quacks of every kind in later life, and makes it very difficult for them to accept the methods of thought which are successful in science.
J.B.S. Haldane

9. Our hope of immortality does not come from any religions, but nearly all religions come from that hope. Robert G. Ingersoll

10. We cannot hope for a society in which formal organized religion dies out. But we can stop behaving as if it was worthy of our collective respect. A.N. Wilson

11. Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly. Isaac Asimov

12. A believer is a bird in a cage, a free-thinker is an eagle parting the clouds with tireless wing. Robert G. Ingersoll

15. If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said no. Margaret "Stevie" Smith

16. The truths which God revealed have been overthrown by the truths which man has discovered. Lemuel K. Washburn

17. I like to browse in occult bookshops if for no other reason than to refresh my commitment to science. Heinz Pagels

18. The supernatural is the natural not yet understood. Elbert Hubbard

19. People everywhere enjoy believing things that they know are not true. It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves and taking responsibility for what they know.
Brooks Atkinson

20. Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)

Quote of the Post: "Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good." - Thomas Sowell (1993)

***

Someone: actually, your entire argument rests upon definition

Me: don't all arguments

Someone: no, in the sense that we cannot even define what a god is

Me: hahaha
an imaginary friend with superhuman powers

Someone: haha
i think i must've known god when i was in pri sch
and i presume your personal god is kimberly? satisfies the criteria ;)


A friend sent me this exchange:

Him: I don't think I got alot of meat... what about yours?
Me: Oh, hmm... guess I'm luckier. Mine's quite meaty. Heh (boyish toothy grin)
Him: Looks quite big leh, how do you handle it? (Looks with concern)
Me: Oh don't worry, it's cut. (Nods in assurance)
Him: Lemme have a look will you?
Me: (takes it out and points the tip at him) Here you go... see how its bulging? Always gets me excited.
Him: Wah! So big ar? Damn. I feel so shortchanged... mine is only a six incher, should have had yours...
Me: Hehe. Don't feel bad man, I'm kinda regretting having such a big one.
Him: Yar... I don't think I can fit it in my mouth also. (stares in wonder)
Me: Here, you wanna try? (lifts it with both hands and offers it to him) Careful not to stain your shirt... it's beginning to drip...

Me: hot dog?
Friend: yeap...... it's definitely not in that sense. Make a guess?
Me: subway sandwich
Friend: head on! wah... really food guru


Someone: btw your comments on [them] treating us like commodities are spot on. More like domesticated animals really. They even encourage us to inbreed.

Me: really? they keep having mixers?

Someone: Yes, and they openly say that they hope it will help to produce a new generation of scientists. And I have this suspicion the sports people are eagerly awaiting Susilo and Li's offspring.


Someone else on me pressing others' self destruct buttons: so it's some analogy for the indian nuclear standoff then. hahah. south asia is getting to me. 'pressing each other's buttons'

***

I used to use Dictionary.com for all my dictionary needs, not least because they had a bookmarklet making looking up words easy. Then, when they started coming up with ways to try to force users to pay for their premium service, I moved to Merriam-Webster and hacked out a similar bookmarklet for my purposes, based on the one on Dictionary.com.

Now, I've discovered The Free Dictionary, which provides the word searched for in context by showing how it is used in Classic Literary works. For pronunciation, though, Merriam-Webster is still better as they have WAV files of people pronouncing the words, albeit with an American accent and in an American fashion, and not for all words.

***

5 Gmail invites are still up for grabs.

***

Singapore not so straitlaced

"Prostitution is permitted. Indeed that's one of the great ironies of Asia: prostitution is permitted in Singapore but is illegal in Bangkok. But pimping, soliciting and streetwalking are not permitted. Pimping can attract stiff penalties including lengthy jail terms. But prostitutes who are registered are quite able to work in licensed brothels that operate openly in Singapore's Designated Red-light Areas (DRAs), of which there are about six in which as many as 400 licensed brothels operate. The principal DRAs are located in Geylang, Flanders Square, Keong Saik Road and Desker Road. Additionally, escort services and private callgirls are permitted... Prostitutes are required to register and carry a Yellow Card supplied by the Government. It is the same size and in the same style as a national identity card and carries the holder's photograph and thumb print. Card holders are required to submit to a health check every two weeks.

Prostitution is apparent even on Orchard Road. The Orchard Towers complex, right on Singapore's premier shopping strip, has earned the moniker The Four Floors of Whores. It's not a DRA, but you wouldn't know it. It has several discos that cater mostly to a Filipino crowd. Massage parlours and KTV lounges that specialise in mainland Chinese prostitutes also operate from the building.

The Singapore Government bans movies such as Eyes Wide Shut and Lolita on account of their "pornographic" content. It bans magazines such as Playboy too. And yet pornographic DVDs are readily available in the city's many red-light districts. Sex toys and pornographic magazines too are sold most evenings from lean-to stalls along Desker Road in Singapore's Little India district. Indeed, Desker Road is the only place in Asia that I've seen child pornography available for sale. This in a red-light district that's licensed by the Government.

Some point to widespread rumours in Singapore that a prominent local political figure maintains a boyfriend across the causeway in the Malaysian city of Johor Bahru as one reason for the apparent liberalisation.

But that is what happens when you have the tight media controls that the Singapore Government insists upon: people create their own news and are willing to believe anything once the established media has lost its credibility.

More likely, it all points to the lengths to which Singapore will go to stay afloat, given that it is a small economy that's feeling the heat. The Nation Party received almost no coverage in the Government-controlled local media, but it was reported widely in the region.

And that's exactly what the Singapore Government seems to want: to appear disapproving of all this to the point of keeping homosexual acts banned, while making money from it on the side as visitors flock in to attend the festivities. It's hypocritical of course. But in Singapore, hypocrisy, at least, is not a crime."


Meanwhile, everyone's favourite periodical got sued, on the basis of one or two glancingly snide remarks whose target had to be inferred. I wonder why Berlusconi and Mugabe don't bother suing them, given that they are much more heavily slammed, instead of being mentioned sarcastically.

Of course Hwa points out that they knew they were going to be sued when they published it, and were gunning for the publicity, but still I find it quite sad.

***

My senior, if he passes all his modules this term, will have done 19 modules in 3 semesters. Wth?!

The Cat in the Hat
by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95

The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetry in which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes and bold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably Green Eggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower With Mommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under the pseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freud in a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two young children understand their own frustrated sexuality.

The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through the window of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, a large tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, taunting the children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexual yearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to the most unlearned reader, the blatant references to the incestuous relationship the two share set the tone for Seuss' probing examination of the satisfaction of primitive needs. The Cat proceeds to charm the wary youths into engaging in what he so innocently refers to as "tricks". At this point, the fish, an obvious Christ figure who represents the prevailing Christian morality, attempts to warn the children, and thus, in effect, warns all of humanity of the dangers associated with the unleashing of the primal urges. In response to this, the cat proceeds to balance the aquatic naysayer on the end of his umbrella, essentially saying, "Down with morality; down with God!"

After poohpoohing the righteous rantings of the waterlogged Christ figure, the Cat begins to juggle several icons of Western culture, most notably two books, representing the Old and New Testaments, and a saucer of lactal fluid, an ironic reference to maternal loss the two children experienced when their mother abandoned them "for the afternoon". Our heroic Id adds to this bold gesture a rake and a toy man, and thus completes the Oedipal triangle.

Later in the novel, Seuss introduces the proverbial Pandora's box, a large red crate out of which the Id releases Thing One, or Freud's concept of Ego, the division of the psyche that serves as the conscious mediator between the person and reality, and Thing Two, the Superego, which functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and guilt. Referring to this box, the Cat says, "Now look at this trick. Take a look!" In this, Dr. Seuss uses the children as a brilliant metaphor for the reader, and asks the reader to re-examine his own inner self.

The children, unable to control the Id, Ego, and Superego, allow these creatures to run free and mess up the house, or more symbolically, control their lives. This rampage continues until the fish, or Christ symbol, warns that the mother is returning to reinstate the Oedipal triangle that existed before her abandonment of the children. At this point, Seuss introduces a many-armed cleaning device which represents the psychoanalytic couch, which proceeds to put the two youngsters' lives back in order.

With powerful simplicity, clarity, and drama, Seuss reduces Freud's concepts on the dynamics of the human psyche to an easily understood gesture. Seuss' poetry and choice of words is equally impressive and serves as a splendid counterpart to his bold symbolism. In all, his writing style is quick and fluid, making The Cat in the Hat impossible to put down. While this novel is 61 pages in length, and one can read it in five minutes or less, it is not until after multiple readings that the genius of this modern day master becomes apparent.

[JumboJoke]


This reminds me of what we used to do in Literature :) Maybe I should turn in stuff like this for my Writing Module next semester!

Editor's Note: Bonus blog post! This was originally drafted by He Who Must Not Be Named when I was lounging around at his house. He never got around to finishing it, unfortunately, so after much dawdling and indecision on his part, I have decided to post it as is, to give everyone an exclusive glimpse into the way HWMNBN drafts his dissertations, perchance to learn his arcane ways and befuddle everyone around.

It's kind of like Pompeii - this post is frozen at one moment in time, in the middle of the creative process that is nw.t's outputting of verbal diarrhea. Never will it achieve whatever potential it might have had. It has been neglected, forgotten, cast aside; like a most cruel act of coitus interruptus, it leaves one unfulfilled and hungering for more.

Who knows what colourful delphinium this post might have blossomed into? What awards might it have won for longwindedness and bombast? What manner of perspicacious dealings would have been revealed? What new heights of reconditeness would have been scaled? How much further would we, his gentle readers, have been brought in our quest to master the Seventh Circle of grandiosity?

Alas! Only the Gods will know the answers to these and other questions concerning the meaning of life and the grain harvest seven years hence.

***

[Original time and date of post: 8/8/04 - 4:24pm]


Word of the day: "aphresis"

Am currently languishing on the floor tapping on my new wireless keyboard while Gabriel lies facedown on my parquet floor (still alive and breathing like a beached humpback whale).

Over the last few days the sudden impulse to blog has attenuated sharply, mainly due to the disheartening feeling of rushing to the damned cybercafe after work each day, only to arrive with an hour left before closing - hardly sufficient for a meaningful blogalogue.

Anyway, despite my original intention to lovingly chronicle all the travails of setting up the newsest version of my Life, now that I've actually concluded most of the major elements (the capstone being the acquisition of a new PC and Internet access from home) I find that all I want to do is pornographically stroke the matte black aluminium Lian Li case that now occupies place of honour in my demesne. (well, it's still sideways on my floor at the moment, the innards exposeed to the atmosphere as I've not quite completed transferring my old files over yet, but ...)

However, as Gabriel is currently nagging me to provide extra content for his edification and amusement (and he's too indolent to blog about our little excursions - although I can't blame him at present as I have been treated to the glorious sight of him sprawled drunk on a few sips of Orange Baccardi Breezer giggling intermittently), I shall proffer a few random observations at free-association.

- So far I haven't seen a single person in my apartment complex. However, I have heard TV sounds and occasional glasses clinking. Very Haunted Mansion.

- If you want to open a bank account (especially as a foreigner), you have to get a phone line first. But it is extremely hasslesome to get a phone line without a bank account. Such are the Catch-22s of expatriate life.

- My beautiful new PC is now up and running (with thanks to Gabriel again for helping me set up the extremely heavy computer desk). This PC is the closest to the godlike ideal of gaming power that I've ever owned - unfortunately, 3 years into "adulthood" and I still haven't saved enough .... but at least we progress.

Specs:

Athlon 64 3200+
1GB of Kingston DDR400 RAM (CAS 2.50)
200GB Seagate SATA HDD (Unfortunately I couldn't find a Maxtor 200GB SATA anywhere... sigh)
Massive Thermaltake copper fan cooler with car beng type blue lights
Gigabyte GA-K8N Pro mobo
Albatron (never heard of the brand, but this video card is a budgetary constraint for now until I can afford a Radeon X800) Geforce FX 5700
Lovely lovely lovely Lian Li PC-61 black aluminium case.

I anticipate that my social life will now wither even further as I can now catch up on all those games that I haven't been able to play since my old video card gave up the ghost.

- I just told Gabriel as he lay supine on the floor that someone had forwarded me How Girls Waste Time and he immediately convulsed in high pitched squeals of delight. How sad that he has fallen so far as to addiction to his growing popularity. I anticipate that, one day, like Cobain, the moral dilemma of purity of art versus pandering to one's groupies (as he likes to call them) will drive him to throw himself off a building. Let us hope no one is passing underneath at the time.

- The TV that my landlord has provided is very irritating. It only has one A/V port with MONO sound input. To add insult to injury, when I got my SCV box top via cash and carry, I discovered that the stupid thing couldn't tune to the exact frequency for cable vision!!! In the end, I had to plug it in via A/V cable, which means that if I want to watch DVDs, I have to switch cables around. Damn it! (however, this irritation is palliated by the fact that I'll probably be watching DVDs on PC from now on)

- When I went to NUS, I was accosted by a Christian missionary while waiting at the bus stop (he must have heard us discussing Talmudic practices). I sent him packing with a quote from

-

-A certain friend of mine has been busily two-timing



Things to blog about:-Trip with Gabriel to NUS + observations-First week living alone again-The joys of Ikea shopping-The Catch-22 of needing a bank account to get a mobile phone + SCV, but not being able to open a bank account without a local contact number....-Observations about anal security guards and mile high compliance manuals in new workplace.-Scary evil new boss-Making faces during conference calls-Amusement that three of my old secondary schoolmates are actually in jail-The not so joys of having to rebuild life from scratch with regards to personal independence-Supper with Ivan near the Indian temple-preparation for all night chor tai dee sessions

Quote of the Day: "It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do." - Jerome K. Jerome

***

Not too long ago:

Mrs Chan (JC GP teacher): Where are you now?
Me: NUS - the premier institution of Social Engineering
Mrs Chan: You haven't changed.
Me: Is that good or bad?
Mrs Chan: I don't know


Meanwhile I'm being blamed for doing all sorts of "unethical" things that I never knew about. Gah.

***

NUS canteen food is cheap, but many - maybe even most - of the stalls give small servings. Besides cutting costs for the stallholders, who presumably aren't allowed to increase prices, this is also because:

1) People go to the canteen when they're bored, so this prevents over-eating.

2) Anorexic girls won't eat if the servings are too big

3) Anorexic or small-stomached girls can't finish their servings even if they do decide to eat

The power of the constituency mentioned in 2) and 3) is also the reason why the Arts and Business canteens have better food (so it is said) than the Science and Engineering ones; if the food sucks, they won't eat it. Which is also the reason why girls schools supposedly have good food, while RI was stuck with Monty's for 4 years.


I sat in for half of one of PaRaDoX's maths lectures; now I understand the pain that he has been going through over the past year. I had to concentrate very hard to figure out what words the lecturer was using, let alone to understand the Advanced Calculus that he was teaching. Hell, I think more people would have understood what he was saying if he had spoken in Chinese. So when I stumbled out of the LT after 45 minutes, I was reeling in shock, and my mind had been wiped even more effectively than it would if I had been reading Plato.

One surprising thing was the number of girls in the maths lecture, for they filled at least three quarters of the lecture theatre. Even assuming that most of the lecture skippers were guys, the girls would still fill two thirds of the LT. After all, the female gender generally always has problems with maths, so I would have thought that once it was no longer compulsory, they would no longer take it.


I was at Fuzion Smoothie Cafe in Prince George's Park Residences, where they make smoothies without ice, but instead with IQF (Individually Quick Frozen) fruits. While waiting for my order to be processed, I noticed that they advertised their smoothies as having "no sugar" and "no ice". I also noticed that they had a soft serve machine with a curiously ice-like slush swirling around in it.

My curiosity was piqued, and I asked the man at the counter what the stuff in the machine was. He replied that it was "fruit extract". On my pressing him, he conceded that it was fruit sugar to sweeten the smoothies. When I pointed out that fruit sugar was still sugar, he replied that there was no artifical sugar in the smoothies. Now, I don't know about saccharin, except that it isn't used much these days, but aspartame is hugely expensive, and only used when they need to advertise a product as low-calorie and/or sugar-free. In all other cases, people rather use natural sugar, not least because it tastes better. I then gave the man some examples of natural sugars: cane sugar, which is from sugar cane; beet sugar, which is from sugar beets and just as I was explaining about how high fructose corn syrup is also natural, he conceded my point.


Interesting Sociological studies:

1) A guy sat in a car and took notes while bank robbers used it for their robbery

2) A Lord Humphrey watched men having sex with other men in public bathrooms and tracked them down months later, pretending to be an insurance claims investigator, and found that most of them were married with children.


We watched a hilarious BBC interview with Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, the President of the Maldives, and all he could say to the correspondent's questions was: "It's not true", giving that bland reply even when faced with proof of his regime's human rights abuses, and so implying that the correspondent was lying about his observations.

Due to a clashing of timetables, my South Asia tutorial group is going to meet for a discussion next Monday. So boo hoo, there goes my free day. No matter - I shall view the webcast of my sole thursday lecture and declare it my free-day-in-lieu.

USP students can't vote in the Arts Club elections (which were a walkover, but even if they hadn't been, we still wouldn't have been able to vote), and this is enshrined in the constitution. It's no wonder we're forced to be elitist and hide in our little corners.

I should arrange to be Handsome Boy Steven Lim the Eyebrow Plucker's agent and get him to come down to NUS to pluck eyebrows. Then I cane take a 10% cut of his earnings.

Lots of people wear their JC and even Secondary School T-shirts to school. Unfortunately, I can't fit into those of mine which fall into the latter category.

Qiying says I am like Michael Moore in "the way [I] do things". Right. I thought it was because I look sloppy.

One advantage of watching webcasts is you can set the playback speed to "fast" and finish a 2 hour lecture in under 1 1/2.

People have suggested, in the past, that I write a book about my experiences as a slave. Now someone has suggested that I turn How Girls Waste Time into a book too. Heh.

We were shown a Tesla coil made by a 14 year old RI boy mostly from off-the-shelf materials and junk. Costing less than S$100, its sparks are more powerful than that of a commercial Tesla coil which costs US$1,000. My juniors are so outstanding :)

Friend: Do you live in hall?
Me: No, why?
Friend: *gestures at me* Just a random thought
Me: I customarily look sloppy

I saw a stall near the Arts Canteen selling "special" T-shirts for $2 each. On closer examination, they turned out to be the white-coloured, suspiciously-transparent Arts Orientation Week T-shirts. Great way to recoup costs!

It seems SMU has such fluffy sounding classes as "Analytical Skills" and "Creative Thinking". Ho ho. *ahem*

One guy in my tutorial group raised the point that most Philosophy professors are agnostic or atheist. Haha.

On Tuesday, I caught Gil Shaham playing with the SSO at the Esplanade, and I had the pleasure of the company of my favourite MEP student - PaRaDoX aka Francis.

Rossini - Overture to Semiramide

The night was opened by an overture, to act as a buffer for concert lategoers. It was rather dramatic for my tastes, but then I'm not really a fan of operatic tunes. The thing about the piece that stuck out was the way the brass overpowered the other instruments, especially the strings, and this was also evident in the later pieces. Quanxing also pointed out that the French Horns were off when they came in, but then I didn't play that instrument for 6 years, so.

Chen Gang/He Zhaohao - Butterfly Lovers Concerto

This piece was an interesting blend of West and East. It involved mainly western instruments (with a few odds and ends, like a gong and a tambourine) playing an interesting blend influenced by Chinese melodies. It was also in this piece that the star of the evening, Gil Shaham, appeared onstage, with noticeably less hair than in his picture for the program.

He was skilful enough, but struck me as being a show-off - not musically, but physically. His body language was overly confident, and the way he jerked his torso and limbs when ending his bars was especially irritating. Hell, just looking at the way he played annoyed me. It might be in vogue to express your emotions while playing, but surely it is possible to play without looking as if you are having an epileptic fit.

I want to be the gong player. Then I'd get paid for banging the gong a few times for the occasional piece.

Tchaikovsky - Violin Concerto in D major, Op. 35

This, placed at the end, was the highlight of the evening. So Quanxing came with a score of the piece, borrowed from the NUS library, to pick out the mistakes in the performance. Having a few mistakes is understandable, but according to Quanxing there were 3 distinct tempos during the song - one (rushing) when the orchestra was playing alone, one when the soloist was playing alone, and one (very slow, to avoid mistakes) when the soloist was playing with the orchestra. Not being so musically accomplished, I only noticed that there was something vaguely wrong, and when they played a part markes 'p' at 'f' volume. At least Gil Shaham dampened his movements a bit, so he wasn't so disconcerting to look at.

Even with this many quibbles, Quanxing gave him a standing ovation at the end, "for memorising 500 pages of the score". Though we were pissed off by the lack of an encore, as with the time Quanxing attended a concert with Anne-Sophie Mutter a few years back.


After the concert, Quanxing and I lined up to get Gil Shaham's autograph. Just in front of us in the queue was Andrew Lim (of Under One Roof fame). His hair was half-greyed, he was wearing a black Jewish skullcap, growing Jewish-style facial hair (not shaving so the sideburns flow into the beard and also merge with the moustache) and had white threads attached to his belt. Maybe he was going incognito so no one would recognise him, but his disguise didn't fool the sharp-eyed PaRaDoX! Meanwhile I suggested showing Gil Shaham the part in the SSO concert schedule book where Andrew Lim (sans facial hair and skullcap) was listing which concerts he had his eye on (but didn't shortlist his particular one).

When we finally got to get Gil Shaham's autograph, Quanxing commented on the lack of an encore, at which one of the two sweet young things flanking him interjected: "too tired". Bah. Later, as we walked to Lau Pa Sat for supper, we observed that, for all the security measures - policemen and bag checks, it would be incredibly easy to shoot Gil Shaham, since he was sitting with his back to a pane of glass, and there were bushes nearby in which a gunman could hide and still get a clear shot.

Last note from the night: As we were walking across the Esplanade Bridge, this trishaw zoomed past us - with a radio blasting ah beng techno music. Wth.

***

My friend was on ujournal.com - one of the many LiveJournal clones which set themselves up on different domains while no new features whatsoever, but still are bitches in requiring you to register to properly view your friends' journals, but it suddenly disappeared recently, and he doesn't have any backups on his hard drive.

I suggested using the Internet Archive Wayback Machine and Google's Cache to retrieve his entries, and it turned out that he'd disabled spidering in robots.txt.

This is called gey kiang (hokkien for trying to be too smart).


I gave away one gmail invite and then I got 6 more. Indeed, it is blessed to give :P

Meanwhile, people are selling gmail invites for $4-$20 on Yahoo Auctions. Bah.


Xiaxue gets 1500 hits per day, mostly from rabid fans and raving flamers, but I only get 108, mostly from people looking for schoolgirl porn and zaogengs. Boo hoo.

Quotes:

The fifth floor of AS3. Ah, and there's a nice young lady named Belle behind a mysteriously thick glass shield. They remade our office and it looks like a bank. I don't know why anyone thinks they would want to hold up a philosophy office, we don't have anything there. We have nothing of value, I don't know why anyone would want to rob us.

You can argue with people whether it's a heresy or not, but most things have.

Socrates: we know this guy by now, he's a joker.

That's what sophists do. They make you pay money to hang around with them and listen to them talk. It's nice work if you can get it.

That is: 'Gosh, I'm dumb. Hur hur hur.' Socrates is playing his dummy role the way he always does, just trying to get the other to lead with his, fist and knock him down (on and then use his fist)

[On his younger days at Taekwondo] His name was Master Lee, I think all Taekwondo Masters are [so named]

[On the Greek 'arete'] If you say things like: be excellent to each other, then that's like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

You can modular it (modulus)

I was forgetting all my physics for a moment; I've got a cold in my head.

Nominalism. You seem to have nominalist instincts. Unfortunately, I assigned you to read Plato.

How much time do we have? Probably none... I've made a big mess... Every week will be me spiralling into the mysteries of the universe.

[On holding the mic instead of clipping it to his shirt] I'll be a pop star instead. [When] You get closer to the mic, you get the 'real' feeling.

[On the Maldives] You can ge a daytrip around the Donis [traditional boats], which sounds very good.

[On Rajiv Gandhi in Sri lanka] One of the members of the Guard of Honour does something that Guards of Honour aren't supposed to do. He picks up his rifle and hits the Indian Prime Minister.

When I was doing my doctoral work... Changes in ritual behavior during funerals. I went to the highlands of Sulawesi... and I went to a lot of funerals. Not my own.

[On a sociological study] He was a reporter. There was a devil-worshipping cult in California - where else?... He was so successful [in infiltrating it] that they made him vice-devil.

[On breaking the law while doing sociological studies] If I get any more phone calls from the neighbourhood police precinct: 'Oh, this student is in your class...' 'I don't know him'

[On the Zimbardo Prison and Milgram Shock Experiments] Because of this, we don't do experiments anymore. Wouldn't it be fun to do this?

[On Sociological Experiments] We could take a bunch of babies, and leave them on a desert island, and see what happens.

[On Sociological Experiments] If you have a set place at the table, sit where your father sits.

[On Sociological Experiments] If you get on an elevator, and there's only one other person, you stand in opposite corners... Go and stand next to them. Be careful, if it's late at night they may think you're a masher (?)

[Deep, booming voice] Alright. I;ll use the voice if you're not quiet.

A few years ago, my mother-in-law, a very sweet lady from Oregon... went to a seafood restaurant, and all they had were squat toilets. It was a good experience for her. Cultural highlights. She still talks about that.

We found this plethoria of fishing objects (plethora)

Look: my ten dollar bill. It says 'ten dollars', has red ink... 'this note is legal tender'... Unfortunately no one agrees that the bills issued by the Monetary Authority of Todd have value.

A few years ago, many people in Singapore would have been offented by the thought of having sex before marriage. A lot of you probably do, looking at the Durex sales down at 7-11.

When I'm in Malaysia, my Singaporean friends will go: 'Those Malaysians are so lazy. All they know how to do is relax in their cam'poh'ng.' When I'm in Malaysia, my Malaysian friends will go: 'Those Singaporeans. They work work work work work.' (Kampongs)

[On out of date practice papers] Some day, when I'm locked in a room with nothing but a computer, maybe I'll take the time to correct all this, but it's just too boring for me to do it.

There are a lot of practice questions on my site. You can do them till your eyeballs fall off... Of course, they're not very fun to do, just between you and me, really.

[On encountering the right MCQ answer] Ah, that sounds really good. We'll put a little happy face by that one and go on and see whether any, ah, other happy faces compete with it.

Well. That's just a meaningless [answer]. I obviously get... answers like 'e' are nonsense because I get bored by the time I get to 'e'. And I'm so bored by my own question that I just come up with something like that, so.

[On MCQs on the consistency of statements with the passage] Socrates is gay. Good, that's consistent. That's just the sort of thing I might do, to upset people.

[On his cold] I'm really getting a low voice. Wow.

[On Greek comedy] There's really nothing in them but fart jokes.

Human beings like to collect action figures. It's a cultural universal.

[On not being able to find something if you don't know what it looks like] Like if I ask you to look for the Agabagga in this room.

The Pythagoreans... the strangest religion ecer to exist in the world. They were people who worshipped numbers. They were like people in a Star Trek episode.

[On a character in Ted Chiang's 'Division by Zero' who proves that 0 = 1] She goes a little bit mad at the end of the story.

You've all done so much maths that you can't possibly be astonished anymore... Cast your mind back to when you were a child, and might have been astonished by it.

You could figure out the number of inches to the sun... I knew how many miles it was. I learnt to multiply... I didn't know about significant digits at the time, so I got the wrong answer.

I'm actually doing my best to recreate the wonder of mathematics because we've all lost if after so many years.

Suppose you were siting there playing a chess game, and someone looked over your shoulder. 'Hey, you've just created a better DVD player'. Maths is like that. It's scribbles on paper.

The simple version is that the Pythagoreans believed that they were living in the Matrix. I love saying this.

[On the Meno] Socrates gives Euthyphro a theory of perception (Meno)

[On Gorgias] It's such a cool word... I'll give a speech and use 'effluvium' and people will think I'm smart.

I'm going to divide the class into groups of 3. 8 people per group. (3)

[On South Asia] Did you read the readings? No... Yes right? So how come everyone is like 'mujar', 'boogar'?

You all don't remember [what state seceded from Bangladesh in a 1971 civil war]. Someone said [the videos viewed during lectures were] 'heart-wrenching'. You only remember the woman singing [the song of sorrow].

[On Yaodong] He has the reputation of being the only one to masturbate in the open, in the college toilet.

[On a wizened RJ teacher] She's very amusing. You don't laugh with her, you laugh at her

When you get to a certain stage, most girls can't cook. Unless they're from *airy voice* MGS

Cherie as in Gabriel's friend? I have my own identity. Cherie as in your RJ schoolmate.

[On someone more unpopular than me] You're just freaky. He's freaky freaky.

[On her homework] Are you majoring in physics? [Me: Nice try, nice try]

[On South Asia] I took this module because I have no choice, and it's been quite fun because I've only gone for one lecture.

[On South Asia] I took this module because I like Bhangra music.

Mountbeaten (Mountbatten)

I was amazed because I was at a lingerie shop. Some of the boyfriends stayed outside... Was I supposed to stay outside?... No I went [there] alone.

[On an online publication] You can't put frivoloous stuff there, like poetry.

I haven't done maths for so long. I can't add, I can't multiply. [Someone: Are you in Arts?] Yeah [Someone: Good, then you have an excuse.]

I don't do my tutorials, so I have a lot of time.

[On audible screaming as we were walking across the Esplanade Bridge] Somebody just got raped on the boat or something.

As long as you have money you can get into SMU

Quote of the Post: "Design is not for philosophy - it's for life" - Issey Miyake

This is a plug for two things close to my heart: food, and conversations about food. Nonya Bong is a restaurant run by my godfather, and it serves peranakan (aka baba nyonya) food at reasonable prices. The setting is open-air, and they charge cheaper than most other peranakan eateries in Singapore (well, the competition amongst other cheap-and-good eateries in Balestier is another factor). Visit there if you have a chance. I miss peranakan food!!!

Nonya Bong Kitchen
432 Balestier Road #01-434, Public Mansion
Tel: 6251 3788
11.30am - 9pm
Closed 1st Mon of the month

Umami runs an absolutely yummy foodie blog, and her review of nonya bong is below.

http://umami.typepad.com/umami/2004/05/nonya_bong.html

I'm going to try umami's pasta ambrosia this weekend!

Random Playlist Song: Back in his arms again, Mark Schultz

***

Quote of the Post: "The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it." - Benjamin Disraeli

Random Playlist Song: Tchaikovsky - Violin Concerto In D (3) (Allegro Vivacissimo)

***

Someone: i'm rather brainfried at the moment so it'd be a bit of a mission to plow through one of your commentaries

Me: don't wory this goes under light reading

Someone: if liddat then not a Balderdash post anymore! on the other hand your writing hasn't reached the epic proportions of the Associate.

***

The Philosophy webcast has been fixed, so I can finally watch the second half of the lecture. And the ability to pause lets me take quotes down exactly, so I'm now very pleased.

Interesting question brought up:

“Six is a number perfect in itself, and not because God created all things in six days; rather the inverse is true, that God created all things in six days because the number is perfect [1 + 2 + 3], and it would remain perfect, even if the work of the six days did not exist.” - St. Augustine

Some would hold this to be a heresy: if a supreme being was forced to comply to a standard of mathematical perfection, that would imply that mathematical perfection is above that being.

However, the other line of thought is potentially heretical too: if a supreme being created standards of mathematical perfection, like so, then that would imply that when he created the world, he chose an arbitrary number of days in which to do it. So he was doing things for no reason.

More generally, this boils down to the question of whether supposedly omnipotent, perfect and/or omnibenevolent gods are held to some higher moral or logical benchmarks, or whether they themselves define said benchmarks. If they are to be held to the benchmarks, then they no longer rule supreme and wield absolute power. If they create the benchmarks, then they must be doing so arbitrarily, which leads one to wonder how we know that they re perfect. Thus, gods cannot be omnipotent, perfect and/or omnibenevolent at the same time, since for the latter two qualities to hold true, there must be some higher standard of perfection to hold them to.

Of course, apologists would fudge this logical contradiction by arguing that by definition, what their omnipotent, perfect and/or omnibenevolent gods do is perfect and/or good, but if this is not a case of begging the question, I don't know what is. "God is perfect because he defines himself to be perfect". Well done, and here's your PhD in divinity.

***

More musings on the Young Republic Yahoo Group:


A:

"When the religion openly instructs its members to defy the sensible rule of
law, it automatically puts itself at risk of reasonable state persecution.
For example, the Jehovah's Witnesses, a Christian cult, is illegal in
Singapore because their members refuse to serve national service."

WTF? Since when is a religiously principled objection to serving the state
(i.e. a religious form of anarchism) a defiance of "sensible rule of law"?
Is not rule of law based on equal application of the law, not only
application when it happens to suit your agenda? How does this justify
"reasonable" state persecution? ALL religions deserve to be equal under the
law. Just because you think a religion is bizarre or extreme does not mean
it can or should be persecuted. The romans used the fact that the eating and
drinking of a man (Christ)'s body and blood (however symbolically or
supernaturally) formed a central Christian rite to argue that Christianity
was degerate and therefore worthy of persecution. Does this mean their
persecution of Christians was justified?

If a religion instructs its devotees to perform human sacrifices and child
rape, then yes it should be constrained by law. But this is because this
would infringe on the rights of others (the harm principle). I fail to see
how JW's refusal to participate in NS infringes your rights in any way.


"How far then does this go? Is the right to peaceful demonstrations
inviolable? What about strikes? Or riots? Should people have the
unrestricted freedom to print anything they want in the papers or say what
they want on television? I think these are things that should not be
considered inviolable simply because they can result in many negative
repercussions for the society at large (and often, they can end up
encroaching on the rights of others)."

You have sadly imbibed Singapore's longstanding propaganda that
democracy=chaos, a view which is constantly propagated through the ST, which
for some obscure reason has suddenly upped the ante. I counted SIX
propaganda columns this week. But I digress. The democracy=chaos view is
rubbish. Peaceful demonstrations which are hugely disruptive (causing
traffic pileups is an inconvenience, not a massive disruption. If it makes
you late for work, boo-hoo) do not count as peaceful demonstations. They are
direct action. Now direct action is not an inviolable right. They are not
the core of democracy. Some countries (e.g. France) have a political
tradition of direct action. They are indeed a grey area -- since they
infringe on the rights of others, it is indeed a question of how far the
political culture of a country will tolerate them. But to conclude from this
that freedom of speech, protection of minorities etc etc as well as loyal
opposition, liberal institutions which constrain the power of govt, and a
robust civil society are not self-evidently good is wrong.

I mean, after Britain's winter of discontent, the power of unions to conduct
disruptive strikes and direct action was greatly curtailed by Miss Maggie.
Yet Thatcherite and post-Thatcherite Britain was and remains a democracy,
where the power of govt is limited by liberal institutions and where the ppl
have a chance to genuinely choose their govt. The media is free, not a
whiney lapdog of the govt.

I read recently Ian Buruma's excellent book ("Bad Elements", Vintage 2001)
on Chinese dissidents around the world. In his chapter on Spore ("Chinese
Disneyland"), he noted that it is bizarre and sad that in a sophisticated
modern city-state like Spore the benefits of freedom of speech are a matter
of contention. Indeed it is. Very very sad.

Let me put it across again. The benefits of democracy and liberalism are not
a grand illusion, to which literally thousands of intelligent and sincere
Americans, Japanese, Europeans, and Taiwanese wrongly and stupidly give
their allegiance. Democracy and political liberalism are responsible for
improving the lot of many many many of the ppl who have walked this earth
since 1945 and even before. PLEASE, before we flippantly come up with some
new 'insight' supposedly casting doubt on this system which has been so very
much a force for good, think on this.


B:

Every time this issue is raised, some moron is going to mutter "but what's the use of political liberty without economic prosperity?" Yes, sound economic policy can be mutually exclusive from political freedom. Political liberty does not necessarily entail the enforcement common-sense rules with regards to the protection of property
rights, economic freedom or a reasonably competent and fair bureaucracy and justice system. Yet for every China Malaysia or Singapore, there is a Myanmar, North Korea, Equatorial Guinea, Syria etc. Every one of the top 30 countries in the Human Development Index, with the sole exception of Singapore, has a healthy, functioning competitive democracy. Out of the top 55 countries which are regarded as having "high human development", only 7 countries have a score worse than Singapore when it comes to political freedom and civil liberties, as measured by www.freedomhouse.org ( these
are Cuba and Belarus, plus a sprinkling of oil sheikdoms like Bahrain and Kuwait. )

Singapore may not have needed too much democracy to get to her level of economic development today. But simply because Lee Kuan Yew and his successors pursued good policies doesn't mean that democracy is not justified. It only points to one conclusion- that a country needs good governance in order to succeed (duh!).

So the question which remains is what sort of system would best ensure that we will continue to have good government in the future? What if the current "top down" method of picking good people for government starts to falter? Ominously, with the eradication of any viable opposition to PAP rule, our political base is shrinking. There is seriously something wrong when our favourite pro PAP columnist Chua Mui Hoong wrote with remarkable indifference a few months ago that we should all pay more attention to what happens within the PAP, because well, whatever happens within that party affects all of us. But the problem is, the internal workings of the PAP remain largely non-transparent. And who exactly is going to check on the PAP's higher-ups? Your friendly neighbourhood RC chairman?

Singapore needs significant political reform to make this government much more accountable and much more democratic not because we would like to ape the west, but because it is necessary for us to preserve good governance. Without this process there will be no effective checks on the people in charge of the government. And if it just so happens that the choice in charge is incompetent or worse, we should be able to be able to peacefully kick him or her out of office. Which means that the members of parliament we elect to be our representatives cannot be yes-men or yes-women. And so on. This is how we would be able to maintain the integrity of the government.

It all boils down to attitudes to government. Let me end with a story. There is a doctor in jail in China today. He was responsible for revealing the truth with regards to the SARS situation in Beijing, and was shortly feted in the press after for defending the truth. A few months later, he was arrested for criticising the government with regards to its (mis)handling of the Tiananmen Crisis, during which hundreds of young people were murdered, jailed or tortured by the army and police. Is the Chinese government justified in making itself accountable in selective bits and pieces, while whitewashing its mistakes because it is inconvenient and embarrassing to do so? Think about it. And think about how Singapore can prevent any future government from descending to such humiliating lows.


A (in an unrelated comment):

At present, it is really not that difficult to downgrade. Many clerks, storemen, armourers, etc etc are very unproductive. It would be so much better if they were caring for the terminally ill, or minding the intellectually disabled, or visiting the elderly who live alone, giving extra coaching to underprivileged kids, that
sort of thing. So very much better for both society and the servicemen themselves. I don't know about other camps, but my camp certainly has an excess of manpower. Lots of ppl are deployed in menial tasks which if not for the excess manpower, no one would have thought of doing. (e.g. removing weeds from grassy patches. What is that point of that???) What a waste of youth and energy.

Me: Perhaps if the Slave Masters have fewer slaves at their disposal, they will make better use of them. Manpower shortage my foot.

***

Friendster is suffering yet another rash of "forward this or be deleted" bulletin board posts again. So it behooves me to post a bulletin board post of my own:


Subject: bye bye Friendster

From: Mr. ALLEN SMITH

Friendster beta Admin. Dept.

Our Friendster system is getting too crowded! We
need stupid people to forward this to at least 20 other stupid people.

I know this seems like a large number, but we need
to find out how many brainless numbskulls are abusing their Friendster accounts and making both fools and pests of themselves. If you send this to at least 10 Friendster members, we will delete your account.

WARNING! We want to find out which idiots are actually stupid enough to fall for this. So if you are (ab)using your account, please pass this e-mail to every Friendster user that you can. IF YOU PASS this letter to anyone we will delete your account.

Sorry for this inconvenience. Because of the sudden rush of people signing up for Friendster and posting frankly ridiculous bulletin board messages and forwarding inane chain letters, it has come to our attention that we are running out of resources. We know who is logging in regularly and who isn't (so we don't need any old-fashioned 'spam everyone on your list with this hocus-pocus or you'll get deleted' nonsense), but have no way other than this to tell who forwards bulletins without even the slightest thought as to their plausibility.

So, within a month's time, anyone who forwards this BULLETIN with the exact subject heading will be deleted off our server. Please forward this BULLETIN so that we know you are annoying everyone else, and that we should thus delete you.

***

In case these are still in demand, I've another gmail invite lingering in my mailbox.

Avendesora, on the other hand, has 12!

Boo hoo. Of course this might be because I don't use my account.

Quote of the Post: "There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell

Random Playlist Song: King's Singers - John Dowland - Fine Knacks For Ladies

Fine knacks for ladies, cheap, choice, brave and new,
Good pennyworths but money cannot move,
I keep a fair but for the fair to view,
A beggar may be liberal of love.
Though all my wares be trash, the heart is true.

Great gifts are guiles and look for gifts again,
My trifles come as treasures from my mind,
It is a precious jewel to be plain,
Sometimes in shell the Orient's pearls we find.
Of others take a sheaf, of me a grain.

Within this pack pins, points, laces and gloves,
And divers toys fitting a country fair,
But in my heart, where duty serves and loves,
Turtles and twins, Court's brood, a heav'nly pair.
Happy the man that thinks of no removes.

***



Only in their dreams can possibly gay men be this close to me. *e**i*, a fan made this picture because he wishes to be this close to me. He "managed to put a picture of us together so you can see what our union would look like." Most possibly gay men faint when they get this close to me.

***

Plug for someone:

"we're a 4 person mixed a cappella group looking to add a high tenor singer. we're looking for someone with some singing experience, and can carry a good solo. contact edmund (94351998) to arrange for an audtion. if you know someone who might fit the bill, please help me pass this message to the person? thanks a lot."

***

Some academic literature on Sumo Wrestling:

"One big, fat guy tries to ground another big, fat guy or force him out of the ring in a match that can last as little as three seconds."

Heh heh.

***

Innovations in Technology Weekly Assignment 3:
1) Recreate any of Galvani’s experiments


I should go and get some frogs from the market place.

***

Comments on China's immaturity from someone whom I've not seen around for a long time:

It's cruel of everyone to back China in this Taiwan thing. China's so shittily big. They could do well enough without Taiwan, and Tibet and Uighur. Everyone's just scrambling to pick up the big baby's pacifiers because no one dares to hear the grotesquely overgrown little prince cry. I am forcibly reminded of Baba Yaga's monstrous son in Spirited Away. Why can't Taiwan just stay the way it is, happily democratic, violent-Cabinet-possessing, slutty politicians and all. Then again, if the tensions mean less of dented-forehead-Zhang Hui Mei then please aim those missiles at will. No, seriously, all China does with its rural provinces is grossly misallocate agricultural produce and bankrupt tonnes of farmers, and leave them to drown when the floods come. I wish Taiwan would keep up the pressure so that China feels bizarrely like they should let the other two go as a sort of concession to the tides of international opinion. More like trickles, though.

***

This is absolutely hilarious:

Moral Responsibility of A*STAR Scholars

Dear A*STAR Scholars,

As you embark on your new journey, I wish you the very best in your academic studies.

At the same time, I take this opportunity to remind you of your significant responsibilities as A*STAR scholars towards your sponsors and country.

As A*STAR scholars, you assume serious social and moral commitments when you, of your own free will, apply and decide to take up our scholarship. These commitments entail returning home on completion of your studies to contribute to the scientific research and economic capacity of Singapore to build a knowledge-based economy for ALL Singaporeans.

Accepting the prestigious A*STAR scholarship carries with it a high moral responsibility beyond the contractual and legal obligations. A*STAR draws on Singapore tax payers’ funds to provide the best undergraduate/graduate education and intellectual exposure to fully develop each scholar’s passion and potential. Each A*STAR scholarship is therefore a generous investment of capital, time and effort.

Receiving the prestigious A*STAR scholarship is an honour and opportunity. A*STAR Scholarships are highly competitive, with many equally qualified applicants going through a stringent selection process, from which only a privileged few are accepted.

Consequently, a scholar who breaks his or her bond is deliberately depriving a fellow young Singaporean of the best undergraduate/graduate education and a major change in his or her life’s path.

A*STAR takes a very serious view of any scholar who deliberately breaks his promise. We will not hesitate to publicly name irresponsible scholars who intentionally break their bonds for selfish interests. Being named as a bond-breaker will irrevocably affect one’s standing and reputation in society.

Make the best of your scholarship, understanding that your fellow Singaporeans are the sponsors of your special education. Study hard and expand your personal horizons, then come back to contribute and prove yourselves as worthy investments of Singapore.

With Best Wishes,

Prof Lam Khin Yong
Executive Director
A*STAR Graduate Academy


As someone comments: In classic PY fashion, this is a whole spiel on the Evils of Bond-breaking. But as I've always thought, if you treat scholars like commodities, expect them to behave like commodities.

***

On Jack Neo: Apart from his big-screen endeavours, Jack's "Comedy Night" has been a staple program till some time ago. It is both disturbing and inexplicable that a director/scriptwriter of Jack's supposed caliber has nothing better to offer apart from slapstick humour and heavily exaggerated stereotyping to generate laughter. He seems to have this obsession with cross-dressing, and is mostly recognised for his wild impersonations of a naggy HDB housewife (Liang Ximei "shang nao jing ah!") or as a libidinous grandmother who substitutes her verbal puncutations with breathless "hoo-hoo-hoo"s. Not satisfied, he also morphs his male cronies into buxom caricatured aunties with ridiculous hairdos, i.e. Moses Lim. *gasp*. Is progress too much to ask of Singapore's most famous director?

--- Extract from "The Ridge", a NUSSU publication


Someone told me that this (and Pioneer Magazine) were what you read in the toilet. This very amusing article saves it from that fate, though.


Someone: i hate jackoff neo, as an extension of my general disdain for the heartlands which he champions. it's heartlander erotica, and she's [Liang Po Po] the protagonist. she drools and makes too many jokes about the toilet

Me: That's libidinous meh

Someone: yeah


Someone else: cause it is a guy...who dress as a woman, a old one at that. if that arnt hornt i dont know what is


I'm sorry, but I fail to see how Liang Po Po is libidinous or prurient in any way. And "substitutes her verbal puncutations with breathless "hoo-hoo-hoo"s" is a little tortured. But the following line: "Not satisfied, he also morphs his male cronies into buxom caricatured aunties with ridiculous hairdos" is priceless!

***

!@#$%^&*()

Under the link to Hotlines, they have listed:

Choices 6274 1475
(930am - 530pm, Tue - Sat)
Homosexuality issues and sexual problems

I am officially offended by this homophobic service masquerading as a "hotline", and I fired out a mail:


I'm a NUS undergrad who happened across the NUSSU Hotline's links page. I was scanning through the list of hotlines and came across "Choices".

I would just like to point out that "Choices" is a pseudo-hotline with its own agenda. They pretend to help people with "problems" of alternate sexuality, but in reality they aim to convert all who do not cohere with their narrow, religiously-determined view of "normal" sexual orientation.

"Choices is a Christian ministry which proclaims a message of sexual wholeness to the community. The ministry seeks to assist those who desire to overcome homosexuality in their lives. Our aim is to restore their sexual identities to what God intends. We empower the individual to take responsibility in maintaining moral and relational wholeness." - Choices Website

In fact, it isn't even that successful in what it does; I'm told that most or at least a good deal of people who use its service, hoping to lead some semblance of a normal life, become more miserable and atavism (reversion to past behavior) soon sets in.

At the very least, it would be more helpful for any who learn about "Choices" from your page to know about its religious provenance (since it is, after all, run by a church) and its avowed mission.

Quote of the Post: "Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." - Groucho Marx

Random Playlist Song: Paganini - Concerto For Violin And Orchestra No. 2 In B Minor, Op. 7 - 'La Campanella' - 1. Allegro maestoso

***

Bollywood Hollywood

Some may recall that I toyed with the idea of going to Friday's USP D&D - Bollywood Hollywood - as a coconut tree. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, that idea did not take wing. For one, some people pointed out to me that coconut trees are slim, whereupon someone suggested that I go as the coconut (?!), though one person claimed that the coconut trees in Indian Movies are big. Devilzpagan, a "very big fan of Bollywood", said that nowadays they don't run around coconut trees, but instead dance on snow-capped mountains. But then everyone associates mountains with the Sound of Music, so no one would have gotten it. Another person suggested that since "costume parties are a waste of time", I should "just wear singlet and shorts and go there as a garang guni". Instead, I opted for a boring outfit (and incidentally, was not for once the least formally dressed). Aww.

I visited Quanxing's dorm room in the hope of sharing a cab down with his other friends. We set off a touch late, but we could still have made it on time. However, Quanxing had the bright idea of walking to South Buona Vista Road to hail a cab, instead of waiting at the PGP porch. As I observed, no taxis would go to South Buona Vista Road unless they were on call or fetching someone to PGP or the Science Park; in the first case we obviously would not get a cab and in the latter, smart people waiting at PGP would get onto the now-vacated cabs, so we wouldn't be able to flag them down. In the end, he got a cab by waiting at the NUH Taxi Stand, and we arrived there only an hour late, though fortunately before the dinner had started. Oh well. What's new when you have Quanxing around? Lalala.

Though it was billed as a "Dinner and Dance", there was no dance component. Just as well, since I can't dance. I was surprised by how so many people took the theme of the Dinner and Dance to heart - quite a lot of people dressed up in Indian Garb. It was more understandable for the girls, since girls always like to dress up (a gender defect, as I always say), but quite a lot of guys also came in all the fancy indian outfits of which I do not know the names for. It was quite weird to see people in Indian Clothing playing electric guitars, though. Maybe they should have changed to the sitar just for that night. One guy came as Santa Claus, sans beard and paunch, so good for him. But then Santa Claus outfits are a dime a dozen; no one makes coconut tree costumes.

The food, provided by Concorde Hotel, was good, with such interesting things as Bombay Lamb with Puri, and a Prata station with banana, durian, chocolate, peanut butter and cheese prata. A pity that there was no non-Halal section, though, since Melting Pot Cafe makes heavenly pork satay and pork chops. The tables were decorated with little shiny stars, which some of the girls in my group went to collect (...). Pretty, no doubt, but a few somehow landed on my prata, giving me no small amount of consternation and others no small modicum of amusement. As for the entertainment, well, it was entertaining in another sense. The skit had a Chinese Prata Boy and an Indian Fishball Noodles Uncle. Go figure. The one homage it did pay to Bollywood though, besides a cheesy love story tortured to fit a multi-racial, politically-correct Singaporean context, was at the end when a million people appeared out of nowhere and started dancing, so that was its sole saving grace.

Unsurprisingly, it seemed that most of the people at the D&D were freshman sitting with their Camp Orientation Groups. Not only did we get a $10 discount on the already admittedly cheap price of $35, but we got a ready-formed group to sit with, something very important if you're not a social butterfly who flits easily from social group to social group. And it helped when people were running around taking pictures with each other in all possible factorial combinations.

At the end of the day, I was quite pleased, since I got to fulfill one of my long-standing and perverted fantasies: pressing not one, but *two* girls' self-destruct buttons, though one was initially reluctant to let me touch hers. Yay.

Miscellaneous notes worthy of the ejaculation: "Gah!":

- Quanxing went around taking pictures with others - with a glass of white wine in his hand.
- I had a piece of watermelon snatched from under my nose

***

Perceptive readers will notice that at the end of each blog post, there is now an icon: , which lets you email said post to others.

Have fun abusing this feature.


It seems that I've come in eigth in a Blogspot Vocabulary Challenge for using 19 of a total of 133 words on Peter Schmies's Vocabulary Test (the winner used 38).

I'm so honoured :0

No doubt this site would have won flat out if an even larger and more obscure list of words had been chosen. So we can all blame He Who Must Not Be Named for using words so useless, bombastic and specific that no one knows what the hell they are.

Pfffffffth.


People tell me the funniest things:

I heard sthg interesting at spex gal some day. maybe u can add on to your lists of what girls do.

I was walking past these 2 girls. one was sitting on the floor, and one was sitting on the railing. then the one sitting on the floor looked up towards the one on the railing and said eeee I can see your underwear

funniest part was a girl and a girl.

***

An Argument

I've oft been told by learned friars,
That wishing and the crime are one,
And Heaven punishes desires
As much as if the deed were done.

If wishing damns us, you and I
Are damned to all our heart's content;
Come, then, at least we may enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment

- Thomas Moore


No, I don't understand what this means.

***

Wowbagger on PrimusEmpyrian's pooh-poohing of Physics since its Laws fail before the Big Bang and in a Black Hole:

"Prior to" the big bang is a meaningless notion --- there is no time
before the big bang.
And black holes do not necessarily violate the laws of physics ---
theories abound that negate the need for a singularity at the centre of
a black hole.


PrimusEmpyrian: You did not quote this which I had said previously: "I do not believe that just because Humans are on top of the food chain on Earth, it means that there are none above us."

Indeed. Humans feel lost without guidance, so they invent invisible friends. It happens with 6 year old kids, among others.

Alright. I do agree we can move on and talk about other (less incendiary) stuff.

There's no point trying to convince a member of the Flat Earth Society that the earth is flat. Or a Holocaust denier that millions of Jews really died.

Why would Yahoo block IP connections with too much activity?

To stop bandwith hogs.

I like the Latin Corner.

HOMINES QUOD VOLUNT CREDUNT
Men believe what they want to.

I couldn't agree more :)

In closing, I leave you with a quote (from me, sad to say):

"I saw the light
My eyes were uncovered
The Truth set me Free"

***

In response to my academics rant, some responded that I might not be used to the cessation of spoonfeeding. It's not so much the lack of spoonfeeding that irks me, but rather the seeming lack of structure and direction in teaching. I mean, we *are* paying a lot of money for their services. Unless we're just subsidising their research to pay for the pieces of paper we get after 3-4 years, in which case we might as well save our money and go totally into independent home study.


Visiting PaRaDoX's hostel room, I was reminded of why I don't want to stay in a hostel. Not only do I lack pull factors; I don't live far away from campus, and don't/won't get nocturnal action, but you have people blasting music from their speakers (or worse: Indians blasting Bhangra music), and alleged noise from people who *do* get nocturnal action.

I had my first non-USP tutorial, and before the tutorial we were all standing outside the classroom, since the door appeared locked. Then the tutor came and opened it. Gah. Damn NUS doors.

Apparently Sociology, English Literature and Political Science used to be considered dangerous disciplines and were monitored because they encouraged independent thought. Bah.

Though my leyden jar didn't work at home, it did in school. Ditto for another's failed leyden jars. Bah. Our combs are no match for the power of a PVC pipe.


Quotes:

One of the things that sociology likes to do is screw people's minds (screw with)

That's what the readings are trying to say, in that fancy spanzy language that they like to use when you go into University, when you go into academia.

[On the bad old days in Singapore] If people labelled you as a Marxist, you were definitely gone for (done)

[On changing the world] You can join certain NGOs if you think there are certain grievances [to address]. Or you can spread the gospel to your students at the end of the day.

[On elastic price elasticity of demand] If the marginal tax rate is 58%, the women: they would rather sit at the cafe and have tea

footware (footwear) (written)

[On Peru's poor's low price elasticity of demand for health care] If you increase the price of hospital services, a lot of these people, they would rather die than go to a hospital.

I believe you can measure you'tears (utils)

How are you going to decide how many units of babies to consume? (produce)

If the government just fly a helicopter, and drop money from the helicopter, you can pick some up and spend [it] (flies, drops) (?)

[End of lecture bell sounds at 5:45pm] Are you rushing for another class? [Many people: Yes] Are you sure?

[On Sociology] My elder sister did it and she said it was very interesting... But after [doing] the readings, I regret [taking it]

Plutorch (Plutarch) (written and spoken)

shealings (shillings)

electrify'cation (electrification)

is the strength of electricity argumented (augmented)

He used a silk tread (thread)

[On the Baby Bonus and attendant schemes] Don't you feel pressured into becoming a baby-making machine?... Do you want to have 5 kids? [Someone: Yeah]

[On the entertainment at the USP D&D] Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he started the 'woo hoo hoo' thing

[On Kimberly Hart] I like her too! She's so cool.

[On my offering to help them take photos] Wah, so chauvinistic (chivalrous/helpful)

Her name is called 'Jet' (is)

[Conducting a lucky draw] First up for grabs: we have Don's CDs. Number 49! [Number 49: Oh my god!]

[Me on a silly song: It's self-congratulatory emotional masturbation] Are you an Arts student? [Me: Yah] You'll excel in what you do.

I always enjoy riding Jet (...)

The PRCs make love damn loud (loudly)

[On some chio girl: What were you going to do with her tonight?] Fuck lah.

[On the entertainment at the USP D&D] Since when fishball uncle is indian one? (is the fishball noodles)

[On NUS's no alcohol rule] You look at it this way. All of the great breakthroughs: a lot of them come over drinks. Or people sitting around and talking. This is why NUS cannot make it... There's no buzz

[On NUS being on a hill] Maybe that's why they have a no alcohol rule: so drunk people don't roll down

Quote of the Post: "If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door." - Paul Beatty

Random Playlist Song: Palestrina - Missa Ecce Ego Johannes - Credo

***

!@#$%^&*()

After so much time spent playing Lionheart: Legacy of the Crusader, and enduring its increasing bugginess, it now freezes up when I've almost finished the game, and then dumps me back to the Desktop when I try to load a game.

Maybe they closed Black Isle Studios because they came up with such a lousy game.


I decided to complain to Yahoo Groups about their constant locking me out with the message: "Yahoo! - 999 This page is currently unavailable: Unfortunately, we are unable to process your request at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try again later."

Predictably, they disavowed themselves of responsibility for the problem, blaming it on "a problem with the connection between your computer and our servers". They then suggested that I contact my ISP. To humour them, I did so, but SCV could not replicate the problem (at least not reliably) and said they were not blocking connections to Yahoo Groups. The person I spoke to on the phone expressed his personal helplessness with Yahoo Groups and suggested that I try again the next day.

I got back to Yahoo Groups and they claimed that they "were unable to replicate the issue you have described". That's rich, considering that I am hardly the only one experiencing this problem, as a cursory Google search will turn up. They then suggested that I switch browsers, clear my cache and history. Of course, none of these work.

It seems that Yahoo is blocking connections from IPs that evidence too much activity, since when I use a proxy server I can access Yahoo Groups just fine. So either some people are spoiling the market with programs like PGOffline (to download and archive messages from a Yahoo Group), or too many SCV users with IPs close to mine are/were trying to access Yahoo Groups at the same time.

***

OkCupid: tens of thousands of people (mostly girls actually) have uploaded photos

This is an interesting fact. Consider the following:

- Usually guys are more despo, and more likely to use services like these to make friends
- It's usually the guys who use these services more actively and message the girls. Witness how Friendster became a "chiobu locator" for desperate NS guys in Army Camps. Girls almost never message guys, unless they look very cute in their pictures.
- Girls don't like their pictures circulating around for random freaky guys to get off to

However, consider also the following factors mitigating those above:

- OkCupid has tons of dubious tests, which girls love to waste their time taking
- Those with Compulsive Photo-Taking Disorder usually like to display their photos - for their friends, if nothing else

Intriguing.

***

Dilbert Strip

Pointy-Haired Boss: I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings.

Pointy-Haired Boss: The first item on the agenda is... Ow, Ow! Legs to tired... MEETING ADJOURNED!!!

Wally: I always wondered what efficiency looked like.


Finally: management that works!

***

On my OG discovering my blog: "don't start pandering to the masses. your blog's the funniest cos it's brutally honest"

***

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

***

More comments by PrimusEmpyrian and my responses:

Absence of proof does not prove it is absent from existence. Many centuries ago, people believed in Flat Earth and the Earth being the center of the Universe. There was no proof of it being otherwise at that time.

No one knew of the existence of Bacteria and Viruses until recent times. So prior to that, they do not exist?

So I could just advance any manner of wild and illogical propositions, and you'd be forced to, if not agree, then to accept the possibility that they are not untrue. For example, that there are monsters under my bed which only come out when no adults are around. And for your information, some Ancient Greek thinker reasoned that the earth was round, from his observation that when a boat sailed into the harbor of Alexandria, its sail appeared before its hull.

Before the evidence for there being Bacteria and Virii was uncovered, it would probably have been reckless to assert that they existed. But my point still stands - if there's no evidence for something, there's no reason for anyone to proclaim its existence. If not, you might as well have killed yourself with Heaven's Gate. Or joined David Koresh in Waco.

If an object is outside the realm of reason and logic, it means it is NOT subject to the laws of reason and logic then.

What about a square circle? We're not talking about space and time, which are properties of existence, we are talking about abstract concepts. If they are not subject to reason and logic, I think it would be meaningless to talk about the concept of existence too. Anyhow I didn't say that gods are outside reason and logic, just that they defy reason and logic.

Just because it is reasonable and logical does NOT equate it is correct. There are logical fallacies aplently.

e.g.
If Yan can cook so can you.
Martin Yan is a man.
All men can cook like Martin Yan.

Thank you for demonstrating a logical fallacy. Unfortunately, this is neither reasonable, logical nor correct.

Examine the laws of phyiscs. It is constant everywhere. True? To a certain extent. It breaks down if you use it on Black Holes or prior to Big Bang. Is it wrong then? If the laws of physics can not measure the Big Bang nor Black Holes, then they must be false since the stated laws break down when measuring them.

If you found your Martin Yan logic plausible, I wouldn't be surprised if you found this plausible too. Physics recognises that it does not always apply. That does not make it false.

Same goes to religion/spiritual stuff. Humans will seek a purpose in life, contemplating the Universe, desiring guidances from the Higher Being(s).

How can you quantify something which is not tangible in nature?

What, that since the laws/precepts of religion have been shown to be wrong when applied to anything tangible and real, they are false? Can't say I disagree with you there.

Just because humans seek purpose in life and desire higher beings does not create either that purpose or higher beings to guide them. Wishful thinking is powerless.

I do not ask to quantify it, merely to see any proof of its existence. If it has no basis in objective reality, then it exists solely in people's minds. It is intangible simply because it is a flight of fancy.

In the broadest sense, religion is a spiritual matter, one may pray to the Solar God of the ZWAYRLt Tribe if they so believed or desired. :p They may also not pray to any if they so wished, of course. Perhaps there is no ONE religion, if you can comprehend all the religions in the world today, sit and mediate under a Bodhi Tree for 6 years, 6 months and 6 days, MAYBE you may reach Enlightenment, but that is another issue to discuss altogether.

I shall set myself up as a god, then, and people can pray to me, since religion is a spiritual thing. Ho hum.

Essentially, one of my main points is that you need to use logic and reason to weed out the false religions from the true ones (if any). If the result is that all of them are false, then too bad.

Really, this is getting more and more ridiculous.

***

Someone on a stern girl: she's probably fun when she's drunk. like my og mate vivien

Me: Aren't most people fun when drunk?

Someone: nooo. some are loud and obnoxious. others just pass out

***

Someone on why people hate the NUS administraton:


so here's some advice for you:

if you don't want to retake a module you don't want to retake, and yet you're so ill you can't even walk, get the heck up and crawl to the exam room, no matter how high your body temperature is, no matter whether you have the Ebola virus, TAKE THE PAPER AND RISK GETTING DISCIPLINED, or else you WILL retake the module next semester.

Matriculation day: they told me they lost my photograph
The entire mid-term break affair: now restored
Examination result: i fell sick during the SARs outbreak and had a fever. According to the NUS rules i was told not to sit for the paper and submit the "yellow form for special consideration" after seeing the university doctor, which i promptly did...then they failed me just because i didn't sit for that exam paper but consistently did my projects and assignments and had good results...i'll have to retake it next semester.

[Addendum: One can also add how FASS suddenly changed its policy on honours grading from taking only the grades of modules taken in the honours year to taking that of all four years, or how the bidding system leaves some people unable to graduate on time.]

***

Angulus Latinum - 'THE LATIN CORNER'

I like:

IMUS AD MAGUM OZI VIDENDUM, MAGUM OZI MIRUM MIRISSIMUM: We are going to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

UTINAM LOGICA FALSA TUAM PHILOSOPHIAM TOTAL SUFFODIANT!: May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

MACDONALDUS SENEX FUNDUM HABET. E-I-E-I-O. ET IN HOC FUNDO, NONNULLAS BOVES DOMESTICAS HABET. E-I-E-I-O. CUM MOO MOO HIC, CUM MOO MOO IBI. HIC UNA MOO, IBI UNA MOO, UBIQUE UNA MOO MOO. MACDONALDUS SENEX FUNDUM HABET. E-I-E-I-O: Old MacDonald has a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on this farm, he has some cows. E-I-E-I-O. With a moo moo here, with a moo moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo. Old MacDonald has a farm. E-I-E-I-O

MAGISTER MUNDI SUM!: I am the Master of the Universe!

VESCERE BRACIS MEIS!: Eat my shorts!

ESTNE VOLUMEN IN TOGA, AN SOLUM TIBI LIBET ME VIDERE?: Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just glad to see me?

ANTIQUIS TEMPORIBUS, NATI TIBI SIMILES IN RUPIBUS VENTOSISSIMIS EXPONEBANTUR AD NECEM: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

***

My Nutrasweetened soft drinks make huge mounds of foam! What gives? - "Coke, Pepsi, and the G.D. Searle company, the maker of NutraSweet, all deny any knowledge of the foam-producing properties you describe. However, scientific tests conducted at the legendary Straight Dope labs have proved conclusively that they do in fact exist. Moreover, it is clear that not only do NutraSweetened beverages produce more foam, but the foam lasts longer. The ecological significance of this development is too awful to contemplate."

Church invalidates girl's Communion - "The First Holy Communion made by 8-year-old borough resident Haley Waldman in April is considered invalid in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church since the Holy Eucharist she received did not contain any wheat... Haley was diagnosed with celiac disease, a genetic disorder in which the body’s immune system attacks the lining of the small intestines in response to a food protein called gluten — found in wheat, rye, oats, barley, and related grains."

Saudi police 'stopped' fire rescue - "Saudi Arabia's religious police stopped schoolgirls from leaving a blazing building because they were not wearing correct Islamic dress, according to Saudi newspapers."
After all, it was "for their own good".

Saudi Religious Police Say Barbie Is a Moral Threat - You could have Tudung Barbie. Or Burkha Barbie (hey, alliteration!).

nus-artsclub.org - Innocuous looking enough, but at the bottom you see links to: "kostenlos seitensprung, amateur teens and prostitution amsterdam"
Courtesy of the techno prince

Spamusement! - "Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!"