Mount Kinabalu Trip
Day 4 (15/8) - Kota Kinabalu, Senai (Part 2)

Earlier in the day we'd seen one taxi whose whole roof was covered with Malaysian flags. They're really patriotic. Apparently Malaysian vehicles driving into Singapore are asked to remove any flags sticking out from them, though.

One shop in the shopping centre was selling the Sega Megadrive (16 bit!) for RM99. We can see how advanced the country is from this.

Then we walked over to a wet market.


Sea Cucumbers drying in the sun


Dock scenes


Goofing around


Market. Hum Sup Guy insisted I not eat anything with the Ais because the Ais would be dirty.


Huge Blue Fish in the restaurant we later had dinner in. I asked if it was sale. Pity it was not. Perhaps it would've satisfied Hum Sup Guy's prodigious appetite


For scale


Alleged healing miracles. God hates amputees. And doesn't do follow ups on those who've been healed (I swear there's something in my archives which I found very amusing about this person who was 'healed' and got off his wheelchair and walked, but later died from the strain).


Upside down banner. Maybe people can't read anyway, so it doesn't matter if the sign is upside down or the right side up.


"Lobster. Need we say more? the reason why we are so loved by seafood lovers thermidor or just simply baked with herb butter... Braised Red Mullethere (sic) are explosion of savours and savoir-fair (sic) technique to prepare the fish, feeling to get the lobster mousse ready and love to mix the entire ingredient, making ready the soul of the spices through dance of senses exaltation"
I thought it was Engrish, but it wasn't quite as charming.


'Keeping toilets clean is the responsibility of us all. Wow! Our toilets... an image of a healthy society. A+. Very Clean'

In Coffee Bean I heard the Evanescence song "Bring me to life" on Malaysian radio for the second time in 20 hours. The song is 4 years old and is rarely heard on Singaporean radio nowadays (as Frigid Girl, an Evanescence fan whose expertise I tapped, informed me. She also informed me: 'Oh my god, you're such a jerk'). Oh well, the country is always a few years behind the times.


Fried Prawns with Fried Garlic we had for dinner. You will notice that we got Small, Medium and Large prawns on the same plate. I have a feeling they charged us the Large size.


Bug on Hum Sup Guy's arm at dinner.

After dinner I walked into a Delifrance while the rest went shopping. The menu had no Malay, hurr hurr.


The organiser of the trip was a pseudo-Malaysian. Despite being fiercely loyal to Malaysia (and giving me evil looks whenever I rightly pointed out the country's many failings), he had lived in Singapore for all his life, didn't speak Malay, didn't dare eat street food ('that's for you. not for my seasoned stomach. i eat street food everywhere. [Except for the Ais Coconut] that's being sensible. i'd eat anything else') and later insisted that I was throwing away my 1 Ringgit coins into this KFC donation box when they'd been withdrawn from legal tender in December 2005 (and I'd been unable to palm them off at multiple places).


Plaque to mark the opening of the KFC at the airport. It was opened by the Deputy Chief Minister. Evidently its opening was a very special occasion, marking the coming of civilization to this backwater. I swear, in bolehland the jokes just write themselves.


MFTTW had told me that KFC in Malaysia was better than in Singapore ("must be the trans-fat"). So we did a taste test.


"KFC Original Recipe. Prepared with the Colonel's secret brand of 11 herbs & spices. We also have one other ingredient that sets us apart. Kualiti."


The results of the test: Bagus! Boleh! The chicken was moister and more flavourful, and I could taste more of the 11 herbs and spices besides salt (and maybe pepper). Even the fries were better: crispier and warmer. The coleslaw was as bad though. Although I am eating with my left hand, as this improves the taste of food (also, they didn't give us utensils and everyone else was using their hands), I use my left hand in Singapore as well, so this isn't the reason. Thus, I give it to coveted Malaysian Endorsement, which I last recall giving to a granita in Cinque Terra.

At the airport, 3/3 of the budget taxis were Protons but only 1/2 of the premier ones.


Frozen whole fish


Malay pickup lines in Lonely Planet

All the souvenirs and tourist information I saw on this trip spread the lie that Mount Kinabalu was the highest mountain in South East Asia. It is not - it is only the Third highest. The highest is Hkakabo Razi in Burma followed by Puncak Jaya in New Guinea.


'Malaysian Host. Macadamia nuts covered with chocolate'
As you can see, Malaysia has no respect for Intellectual Property. Now, there's nothing wrong with this per se, but if you want to pirate you have to do it honestly. Movies, games and applications are digital media, so pirated versions are identical to the originals. On the other hand, making a Hawaiian Host ripoff with palm oil coklat is disgusting (though at least there wasn't much palm oil - it was above soya soya lecithin on the ingredients list).

AirAsia has 'Xpress Boarding' to let people get on the plane first. I understand why you might want to get off the plane first if you didn't have any check in baggage, but why anyone might want to get on first (except for choosing their seats) is beyond me. Maybe it's for Malaysians who haven't flown before and are excited.

The information screen flashed 'final call' for our flight before the first call had even been made. Bah.

AirAsia's motto is 'Now everyone can fly'. They also have a pushcart selling AirAsia souvenirs on flights. Malaysians must be very deprived.


Refitted Dutch plane

Overall, I was impressed by AirAsia, and not only because it is easy to go beyond expectations when you don't expect very much. It is one of the few good things to come out of bolehland.


"Pasir Gudang. Kiting Capital Of The World"
Hurr hurr.


There was this 'Uniquely Singapore' stand at Senai. Playing was a Chinese MTV about how Singapore is a tourism spot. I was also bowled over by 'Nature' being an attraction of Singapore warranting representation on the stand. Maybe the Zoo and Bird Park count.

As our taxi entered Singapore, we hit the police checkpoint after customs. The policeman took one look at me and decided to use us as training for their newbie ICA officers - we got searched. Hah. Seeing me, the newbies were probably praying they didn't find anything so they wouldn't have to write reports. And someone was trying to provoke them by saying stupid things (eg '[Dogs] can't find your porn' to hum suo guy] - maybe he wanted to be strip-searched.


Quotes:

How do you think they give out National Day tickets in Malaysia? [Me: Whoever bribes them the most lah]

[On cheap handphone batteries] Maybe the 'Nokia' is spelt 'Nooka' or something.

[On 2 1998 arcade machines on a pickup] Haven't you seen this before? [Someone: I haven't seen it being transported before.] Maybe they're just stealing it. (them)

musli (muesli)

[On xiang4 shen1] It's like when a ghost possesses you.

If you were made Prime Minister of Malaysia, what would you change? [Me: Merger with Singapore ah.] (Annexation by)
[Someone: Merger? If I were made PM of Malaysia I'd surrender unconditionally to Singapore]

your'lergy (eulogy)

Mount Kinabalu Trip
Day 4 (15/8) - Kota Kinabalu (Part 1)

When I woke up I had the most amazing pain. Even moving around slowly in bed was painful, not to mention turning about. Sitting up (and worse, standing up) was a struggle. Let's just say that if terminal cancer is like this, I am more convinced than ever that euthanasia is the way to go.

In the past, after exertion usually my feet hurt and at most I had some muscle soreness here and there which disappeared after I warmed up (an hour at most). This day I was limping around for the whole day (and many more after that). The worst were my thigh cramps (unprecedented, if not in location then at least in severity), but my calfs, lower stomach (this was odd, since it was more than a week after kayaking had injured those and coughing was unlikely to injure this area), arms (from using the hiking pole), neck and shoulders were cramping as well.

After a while, my condition improved from sheer agony to 'just' extreme pain. I was advised to stretch, but this sent fresh waves of torment through me, resulting in my manifesting 1 of my 2 reactions to unbearable pain - laughing (the other being crying). I laughed until my stomach hurt, which sent me into fresh throes. At this point the others came in and started exploiting me photographically.

Hum Sup Guy had gone out for breakfast and bought me 2 canai biasa (kosong) and 1 canai telur (egg) back. They raised my spirits (since canai is almost uniformly better than prata), even if they didn't soothe my muscles. However, they were far too much (since canai is bigger than prata) and I ended breakfast stuffed and unable to have lunch. Hum Sup Guy, of course, not being able to eat a lot, was able to pile on the food during lunch since he had had only 2 canai biasa.

After a forgettable dinner at a kopitiam (about typical Singapore kopitiam standards), we walked (or in my case, hobbled) around Kota Kinabalu.


The exhaust pipe of this car was extended and curved upwards. On it was mounted a HUGE Malaysian flag (as can be seen).

We walked into a shopping centre. Though I couldn't find any Malaysian Mannikins, I found a proto-Malaysian Mannikin:


It looks like it's on drugs. This must be why they used to censor Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in Malaysia. Maybe this is the stage before it becomes a full-blown Malaysian Mannikin.

Then we went to an exhibition of freaky animals (Hum Sup Guy got freaked out and left early). All of them came from Indonesia, though. Maybe Malaysia doesn't have any. Most of the exhibits had information panels in Malay and Chinese (a few only had Malay), and most had scientific names on them also. However, since I was unable to find any results on Google for some of the scientific names that I did take down, I have realised that the DAMN INDONESIANS were giving FAKE information.

English names are translated from the Chinese notices.


Albino chicken


4 legged snake ('Tiligua Gigas')


'Phitan Muelurues' (No results on Google)


'Iguana Iguana'


'Passer Domesticus' (This is actually the name for the House Sparrow)


Snake-head turtle


Alligator Crocodile Turtle


Pig head turtle ('Amyda Cartilagenea' - misspelling of 'Amyda Cartilaginea')


Chameleon Frog ('Litoria Caerulea')


Very Big Snake Head Turtle ('Cheldina Siebeniacki' - the first word is a misspelling of 'Chelodina'. The gods know what the second is)


Active Turtle (my name) ('Cheldina Parker' - the right name is 'Chelodina parkeri' and it's on the 2006 IUCN Red List of Threatened Species, hurr hurr)


2-tailed chameleon


Albino python


Satanic Bunnies


3-horned goat. The man said it fell sick and died while in Indonesia. We think they killed it and chopped off its head for easy transport.


'Don't miss it. The Unique Animal Show & Mummant' (Wth is a mummant?!)


Press clippings
'The exhibition's operator, Dr Haji M N Syafe I from Indonesia... claims to have the ability to detect diseases in people and says that he is a psychologist cum faith healer who has cured many'
'Dr Syafe disclosed that he also had the ability to detect diseases in people. A qualified medical doctor, Dr Syafe'i claimed to be a psychologist and faith healer who had cured many patients... the consultation fee for those seeking treatment is RM30'


Dodgy sign. He says he has an MBA too.


Quotes:

[On his team making the semi-finals] I'm so proud. I don't know how to describe it. [Me: I'm in such agony. I don't know how to describe it.]

[Me: 45 ringgit for rebonding and steaming!] Is that cheap? [Me: Yah, but then all your hair will drop out.]