"Stupid people are not necessarily hateful. In fact, some stupid people are quite nice." - David Low
***
Christians have no right to wear cross at work, says Government
"Ministers will argue that because it is not a “requirement” of the Christian faith, employers can ban the wearing of the cross and sack workers who insist on doing so"
To justify this, one could use research which 'shows' that seeing the objects of another religion harms one; when psychic harm is taken to be real harm, the floodgates are opened.
For example, take this wonderful study:
Christmas trees 'make non-Christians feel excluded'
"Non-Christians feel less self-assured and have fewer positive feelings if a Christmas tree was in the room... Christians, however, did report feeling more guilt when a tree was in the room, which, claim the researchers, suggests the holidays can be stressful...
"I don't think it's really going to undermine anyone's experience of Christmas to tone it down. We're not suggesting 'no Christmas' or 'no Christmas displays at all,' but in contexts where we really do value respecting and including diversity in terms of religion, the safest option is not to have these kinds of displays""
The best way to be inclusive and diverse, then, is to do nothing - so you don't offend anyone.
If exposure to manifestations of homosexuality raises some people's blood pressure, should we avoid such manifestations?
Even someone on the Sikh Philosophy Network was dismissive:
"One wonder what would happen if subjects were tested on a variety of other things that might make them feel excluded. After all, McGill University philosopher Charles Taylor, an expert on the 'politics of recognition,' says, we're all members of one minority or another.
It got me wondering about other things that can get people into a mood of feeling they don't belong.
Like being among university grads and not having a bachelor's degree. Going solo to a party where most people are couples. Being Somalian while living in a neighbourhood of ethnic Chinese. Being a female on a mostly male soccer team. Having a mental illness among people who are emotionally stable. Walking on a beach full of men and women with sculpted bodies. Being a boy at an elementary school where 19 out of 20 teachers are female. Working at a minimum-wage coffee shop job serving well-off Vancouverites...
It suggest a hyper-sensitivity on behalf of non-Christians, treating them as "victims" of so-called mainstream culture. Curiously enough, as a religion writer I almost always find, anecdotally, that Sikhs, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists are highly enthusiastic people about Christmas, which has become a giant secular holiday as much as a Christian one. These religiously active minorities sometimes seem to like Christmas's public trappings more than Christians themselves"
L'origine de Bert
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The perils of taking psychic harm to be real harm: even Christmas Trees are harmful
Post ID: 9020992107716034093
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Quotes - 14th August 2010
"The misery of being exploited by capitalists is nothing compared to the misery of not being exploited at all." - Joan Robinson
***
[Me: She wants a guy smarter than her] I'm not that smart [Me: You don't have to be smart. Just smarter than her]
When someone pops the cock, you should smell the cock. [Someone: Cork. You girls want to smell the CORK?]
[On getting whipped cream and chocolate sauce as a present] Sex toy. What did I say about it. (toys, them)
She's a seductress... [Me: Did you bang her?] I'm not that kind of guy [Someone: Got Second Base?] No. Wait...
I knew it from my girlfriend. My fiancée. My wife. (know about it)
I don't gossip one. I only factually report stuff.
I just want a simple life... I want to live in Geneva [Someone: The $20,000 camera set]... [Someone else: Why don't you use a point-and-shoot?] It doesn't do what I need
Women like having periods. It makes them feel good... It lets them know they're not pregnant
Do you want to leave a tip? [Someone else on the waiter behind someone: Do you want to ask that question later?]
I am seriously considering doing a Masters so I don't have to say I'm from SMU
Heels are like foot-binding for the 21st century
I saw a plastic surgery ad in Korea... 'Small face, Pretty breasts'... [Someone: Are you sure they didn't mean 'Pretty face, Small breasts'?]
T-shirts are body hugging [Me: Girl-cut T-shirts are body hugging]
[On boyfriend shirts] What if you have a really fat boyfriend?
[On Jakarta] I haven't been there yet. Everyone keeps telling me not to go.
The dramas that we import from Australia are all sleazy. That is my conclusion from one week of watching TV at home.
There are different types of philosophy. [In] KI they argue about arguing for the point of arguing.
They were really good guard chickens, you know.
I'm getting a game for my friend [Me: Who is your friend?] It's a guy, so it doesn't work
[Me: You should download my CAP Calculator] It's well-used
This guy, no offence, with a ponytail. Pasty skin, with a weird accent... And he's not effeminate [Me: You rather he were effeminate?] Cos then I can say he's gay [Me: Gays get a free pass huh]
[On the SDU magazine] It's always ugly women. They need some busy hussies on the cover.
[On the Zoroastrian cemetery] They should just renovate it a bit and rent it out to lovers [Me: You want to make out in a cemetery?]
[On Bukit Timah Road] The Bridge of Love... I got together with my first girlfriend there... I have gotten more mature, less romantic [since then]
[Someone: I want to be rich] [Me: She has an option not open to us] ... that is the nuclear option, only when you have nothing else [Me: I'm not talking about prostitution, you know]
[On cooking Indomee] You have to let me cook it. I figured out the timing. 3 minutes 45 seconds. No more, no less... You throw away the water, you keep a little bit and put it back
I was wearing my 6 inch heels... [Me: I think 6 inches is the average length of the human penis] [Someone: I thought it eas 10]
[To me] To a lot of people, he is like your kind... Too smart
English is my second language... Anything longer than 2 syllables in Bahasa is difficult for me. [Me: Isn't Bahasa your native language?] I have no native language.
Gays are happy... I've never met a happy lesbian in my life, who didn't have a point to make
What I told my mother. You don't have to understand them. They don't even understand themselves... Hormones go here, they do this. Hormone go there, they do that.
I'm a jerk, but I'm not an ass... I'm an asshole, not a bastard
My Facebook status on 'Pregnancy cures menstrual cramps' was surprisingly popular... My next one: 'Decapitation cures headaches'
[On the Island of doom] During my time Pegasus was the zhabor company. So the P stood for something else also.
[Me: You don't always get what you deserve...] I hope I don't get what I deserve. I'll be in Somalia.
I only talk about 3 things. Women, sex and politics. And food... I don't even talk about cars
The moment you hesitate, you're lost. The Game is not for pussies... [On me] He's being a pussy for refusing to play the Game
They have their hands all over me... They're all skanks. Every one of them is a skank. Everyone who has grown up in a western country... American girls are the skankiest.
A tailored suit and a tailored shirt make a man.
[On me in Where the Hell is Matt] I thought it was a woman
[On job hazards] My dreams, I see numbers. The Excel [spreadsheet] scrolling
Goa is a vice town. You can get anything there.
Fight FIBUA in Changi Hospital... The skeleton army [will] come out
Ginseng. Ren2 Shen1. Bu3 Quan2 Shen. Red wine... Red blood cells [Me: Then what about white wine?] White blood cells
In Secondary School, those Sec 4 n, Sec 4 e girls, once it's their birthdays, okay. [Someone: I need to pay your school a visit]
[On being the only straight guys in a hotel suite] When you enter a pub as a girl, people check you out from head to toe. First time in my life, I got checked out from head to toe... 'They are straight. Please leave them alone'. They were disappointed
Egg tart got cow inside meh? [Someone: Got egg mah]
How was Snow White rescued, from the Seven Dwarves? [Someone: You from which kindergarten ah]
Singaporean men have no competitive edge [Someone: So you prefer ah tiongs and ah nehs?]
***
[Me: She wants a guy smarter than her] I'm not that smart [Me: You don't have to be smart. Just smarter than her]
When someone pops the cock, you should smell the cock. [Someone: Cork. You girls want to smell the CORK?]
[On getting whipped cream and chocolate sauce as a present] Sex toy. What did I say about it. (toys, them)
She's a seductress... [Me: Did you bang her?] I'm not that kind of guy [Someone: Got Second Base?] No. Wait...
I knew it from my girlfriend. My fiancée. My wife. (know about it)
I don't gossip one. I only factually report stuff.
I just want a simple life... I want to live in Geneva [Someone: The $20,000 camera set]... [Someone else: Why don't you use a point-and-shoot?] It doesn't do what I need
Women like having periods. It makes them feel good... It lets them know they're not pregnant
Do you want to leave a tip? [Someone else on the waiter behind someone: Do you want to ask that question later?]
I am seriously considering doing a Masters so I don't have to say I'm from SMU
Heels are like foot-binding for the 21st century
I saw a plastic surgery ad in Korea... 'Small face, Pretty breasts'... [Someone: Are you sure they didn't mean 'Pretty face, Small breasts'?]
T-shirts are body hugging [Me: Girl-cut T-shirts are body hugging]
[On boyfriend shirts] What if you have a really fat boyfriend?
[On Jakarta] I haven't been there yet. Everyone keeps telling me not to go.
The dramas that we import from Australia are all sleazy. That is my conclusion from one week of watching TV at home.
There are different types of philosophy. [In] KI they argue about arguing for the point of arguing.
They were really good guard chickens, you know.
I'm getting a game for my friend [Me: Who is your friend?] It's a guy, so it doesn't work
[Me: You should download my CAP Calculator] It's well-used
This guy, no offence, with a ponytail. Pasty skin, with a weird accent... And he's not effeminate [Me: You rather he were effeminate?] Cos then I can say he's gay [Me: Gays get a free pass huh]
[On the SDU magazine] It's always ugly women. They need some busy hussies on the cover.
[On the Zoroastrian cemetery] They should just renovate it a bit and rent it out to lovers [Me: You want to make out in a cemetery?]
[On Bukit Timah Road] The Bridge of Love... I got together with my first girlfriend there... I have gotten more mature, less romantic [since then]
[Someone: I want to be rich] [Me: She has an option not open to us] ... that is the nuclear option, only when you have nothing else [Me: I'm not talking about prostitution, you know]
[On cooking Indomee] You have to let me cook it. I figured out the timing. 3 minutes 45 seconds. No more, no less... You throw away the water, you keep a little bit and put it back
I was wearing my 6 inch heels... [Me: I think 6 inches is the average length of the human penis] [Someone: I thought it eas 10]
[To me] To a lot of people, he is like your kind... Too smart
English is my second language... Anything longer than 2 syllables in Bahasa is difficult for me. [Me: Isn't Bahasa your native language?] I have no native language.
Gays are happy... I've never met a happy lesbian in my life, who didn't have a point to make
What I told my mother. You don't have to understand them. They don't even understand themselves... Hormones go here, they do this. Hormone go there, they do that.
I'm a jerk, but I'm not an ass... I'm an asshole, not a bastard
My Facebook status on 'Pregnancy cures menstrual cramps' was surprisingly popular... My next one: 'Decapitation cures headaches'
[On the Island of doom] During my time Pegasus was the zhabor company. So the P stood for something else also.
[Me: You don't always get what you deserve...] I hope I don't get what I deserve. I'll be in Somalia.
I only talk about 3 things. Women, sex and politics. And food... I don't even talk about cars
The moment you hesitate, you're lost. The Game is not for pussies... [On me] He's being a pussy for refusing to play the Game
They have their hands all over me... They're all skanks. Every one of them is a skank. Everyone who has grown up in a western country... American girls are the skankiest.
A tailored suit and a tailored shirt make a man.
[On me in Where the Hell is Matt] I thought it was a woman
[On job hazards] My dreams, I see numbers. The Excel [spreadsheet] scrolling
Goa is a vice town. You can get anything there.
Fight FIBUA in Changi Hospital... The skeleton army [will] come out
Ginseng. Ren2 Shen1. Bu3 Quan2 Shen. Red wine... Red blood cells [Me: Then what about white wine?] White blood cells
In Secondary School, those Sec 4 n, Sec 4 e girls, once it's their birthdays, okay. [Someone: I need to pay your school a visit]
[On being the only straight guys in a hotel suite] When you enter a pub as a girl, people check you out from head to toe. First time in my life, I got checked out from head to toe... 'They are straight. Please leave them alone'. They were disappointed
Egg tart got cow inside meh? [Someone: Got egg mah]
How was Snow White rescued, from the Seven Dwarves? [Someone: You from which kindergarten ah]
Singaporean men have no competitive edge [Someone: So you prefer ah tiongs and ah nehs?]
Post ID: 6557091793867860022
Monday, June 07, 2010
Quotes - 7th June 2010
"They always talk who never think." - Matthew Prior
***
Quotes:
I came from Cedar. Like half the people were butches.
This official... When the King became older he turned to the Ws. Wine and Women... The official was very sad. He moved to the mountain... He threw himself from the mountain to the river. I thought he was talking about the Dumpling Man... There are a lot of this kind f people [in Chinese history]... After you listen to this sort of story, you also want to fight for your country.
Gabbie, I miss your thingy. [Me: Err] Your handkerchief
G spot... Goal post
Now we're gambling [Someone: Gambling is at least $2 {in bets} one]
[Me to a female friend: Paizuri is something you can't do] Is it gay sex? [Me: No] Does it involve a penis? [Me: No. Paizuri is titty-fucking] [Someone: What's that?] [Me: You're better off not knowing]
He told his sister he had a friend getting married during Christmas [so he couldn't travel]. I was so touched. I went home and told my mother
[To a guy] Did you cut your hair? I wouldn't say it if you were a girl, but I think it looked better before. [Me: Women don't appreciate honesty] It's called tact.
[On someone's knowing what a fascinator is] How do you know this sort of things? [Me: That's usually the sort of thing people tell me] (thing)
Hi. [Me: You look like an Ah Lian] What an opener.
[On why he runs away] This is my thought process. If a girl likes me, then there must be something really fucked up with her mind.
[On the Lady Shri Ram College] LSR is a girls' school. So when you search for pictures on Google you get a lot of funny things.
[Me: How do you know 'creampie' ah?] [20 year old girl] General knowledge lah!
[Me: Does she have a beau already?] *Incomprehension* [Me: A paramour?] *Continued incomprehension* [Me: A romantic interest?] *Comprehension*
[On a Jap girl] She walks like a local girl... [Me: How do Japanese girls walk? More demurely.
Your greatest responsibility in life is to make things better for your kids than they were for you
See, that's the problem with being a guy. You don't even know what a girl means when she says 'no' these days
[Me: Why is playwriting under EN and not TS?] I don't know. Because Theatre people are shit.
I should have worn heels... This skirt need heels. It's too long. [Me: Then short skirt no need heels?] Short skirt plus heels is skanky. Your parents never teach you ah?
[Me: Are you going to pay me back on the spot?] Yeah. But not in cash... [Me: Then in services?]
Most girls don't have any sort of career ambitions... Most of my friends just want to get married and be happy
Filipino girls will do anything in bed. That's why all the Caucasian men -
[Me: I am bigger than you] Confirmed. [Me: You used to be bigger] That was in uni. Then I lost a lot of weight. I'm sorry. [Me: Why're you apologising to me?] I don't know
没有男的 in our group. 好的 taken 了. 烂的不见了.
[On his wedding] We're inviting mostly students, so we don't expect angbaos [Someone: Thanks for the hint]
No Lady Gaga on a wedding day.
There're only 3 guys [who're going to be there] [Me: Men like women, women like women] Nobody likes guys
[Me: I told people, the next time, racial harmony day, I'll come in a loincloth] No, you're not wearing a loincloth to our wedding
[On a SMS] 'How to say "happy birthday" in German' [Someone: Can't he Google it] [Me: Why don't you give him {the words for] 'fuck you']
Just had dessert, eat sambal?
[Someone on advocado being expensive: Why don't you ask your parents to bring some?] My parents' bag is reserved for instant noodles [Me: These Indonesians]
From her side, almost all of them are vegetarian... These food scientists
I'm starting to realise that all the eligible guys are either attached or married [Me: As a good economist you should know that markets tend to clear]
I met 2 pickpockets... [Someone: You said hi?]
[Me: You know that TWG is a scam right] It's a Singapore brand [Me: That's not why it's a scam]
[Me] The best gift you can give to your child - American citizenship
Did you have dinner? [Someone: I had salad] I'm sorry, that doesn't count as dinner
[Me: Is it true brown sugar is sweeter?] I don't go for minahs. [Me: Black sugar? White sugar?...] Girls outside Singapore are more mature... [In Singapore] whine whine whine
[On 'The Secret' Meetup] There are a lot of cheap lays... [Someone: You just have to tell them - 'yesterday I was thinking about...']
You're just trying to be a nice guy [Someone: I don't have to try. I am a nice guy]
You want tea?... You can have mine [Me: I do not feel like exchanging bodily fluids today] Let me know when you do
I think Frigid Girl is very interesting. Because she is so Frigid
I actually have a greater respect for New Media papers than Sociology papers. Anybody on the street can write a Sociology paper.
There's a reason it's called the Political Science department. It's all about politics.
***
Quotes:
I came from Cedar. Like half the people were butches.
This official... When the King became older he turned to the Ws. Wine and Women... The official was very sad. He moved to the mountain... He threw himself from the mountain to the river. I thought he was talking about the Dumpling Man... There are a lot of this kind f people [in Chinese history]... After you listen to this sort of story, you also want to fight for your country.
Gabbie, I miss your thingy. [Me: Err] Your handkerchief
G spot... Goal post
Now we're gambling [Someone: Gambling is at least $2 {in bets} one]
[Me to a female friend: Paizuri is something you can't do] Is it gay sex? [Me: No] Does it involve a penis? [Me: No. Paizuri is titty-fucking] [Someone: What's that?] [Me: You're better off not knowing]
He told his sister he had a friend getting married during Christmas [so he couldn't travel]. I was so touched. I went home and told my mother
[To a guy] Did you cut your hair? I wouldn't say it if you were a girl, but I think it looked better before. [Me: Women don't appreciate honesty] It's called tact.
[On someone's knowing what a fascinator is] How do you know this sort of things? [Me: That's usually the sort of thing people tell me] (thing)
Hi. [Me: You look like an Ah Lian] What an opener.
[On why he runs away] This is my thought process. If a girl likes me, then there must be something really fucked up with her mind.
[On the Lady Shri Ram College] LSR is a girls' school. So when you search for pictures on Google you get a lot of funny things.
[Me: How do you know 'creampie' ah?] [20 year old girl] General knowledge lah!
[Me: Does she have a beau already?] *Incomprehension* [Me: A paramour?] *Continued incomprehension* [Me: A romantic interest?] *Comprehension*
[On a Jap girl] She walks like a local girl... [Me: How do Japanese girls walk? More demurely.
Your greatest responsibility in life is to make things better for your kids than they were for you
See, that's the problem with being a guy. You don't even know what a girl means when she says 'no' these days
[Me: Why is playwriting under EN and not TS?] I don't know. Because Theatre people are shit.
I should have worn heels... This skirt need heels. It's too long. [Me: Then short skirt no need heels?] Short skirt plus heels is skanky. Your parents never teach you ah?
[Me: Are you going to pay me back on the spot?] Yeah. But not in cash... [Me: Then in services?]
Most girls don't have any sort of career ambitions... Most of my friends just want to get married and be happy
Filipino girls will do anything in bed. That's why all the Caucasian men -
[Me: I am bigger than you] Confirmed. [Me: You used to be bigger] That was in uni. Then I lost a lot of weight. I'm sorry. [Me: Why're you apologising to me?] I don't know
没有男的 in our group. 好的 taken 了. 烂的不见了.
[On his wedding] We're inviting mostly students, so we don't expect angbaos [Someone: Thanks for the hint]
No Lady Gaga on a wedding day.
There're only 3 guys [who're going to be there] [Me: Men like women, women like women] Nobody likes guys
[Me: I told people, the next time, racial harmony day, I'll come in a loincloth] No, you're not wearing a loincloth to our wedding
[On a SMS] 'How to say "happy birthday" in German' [Someone: Can't he Google it] [Me: Why don't you give him {the words for] 'fuck you']
Just had dessert, eat sambal?
[Someone on advocado being expensive: Why don't you ask your parents to bring some?] My parents' bag is reserved for instant noodles [Me: These Indonesians]
From her side, almost all of them are vegetarian... These food scientists
I'm starting to realise that all the eligible guys are either attached or married [Me: As a good economist you should know that markets tend to clear]
I met 2 pickpockets... [Someone: You said hi?]
[Me: You know that TWG is a scam right] It's a Singapore brand [Me: That's not why it's a scam]
[Me] The best gift you can give to your child - American citizenship
Did you have dinner? [Someone: I had salad] I'm sorry, that doesn't count as dinner
[Me: Is it true brown sugar is sweeter?] I don't go for minahs. [Me: Black sugar? White sugar?...] Girls outside Singapore are more mature... [In Singapore] whine whine whine
[On 'The Secret' Meetup] There are a lot of cheap lays... [Someone: You just have to tell them - 'yesterday I was thinking about...']
You're just trying to be a nice guy [Someone: I don't have to try. I am a nice guy]
You want tea?... You can have mine [Me: I do not feel like exchanging bodily fluids today] Let me know when you do
I think Frigid Girl is very interesting. Because she is so Frigid
I actually have a greater respect for New Media papers than Sociology papers. Anybody on the street can write a Sociology paper.
There's a reason it's called the Political Science department. It's all about politics.
Post ID: 5698419227687104361
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Les citations - le 15 avril 2010
"Language is the source of misunderstandings." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
***
She's going to do things with - Je suis choqué
[On a picture of a guy in a car speeding towards a tree] He's stealing the car. [Teacher: After economics you should study psychology]
[Me: Je suis malade] Because of women, right?
[On handphone use] ***, are you planning my assassination? Very suspicious.
[Student: The writing part, will it be the same as before?] How much are you willing to pay?... As you know, I am the only teacher at Alliance that you can bribe [Student 2: Whatever it takes] [Student 3: Do you accept cards?] [Student 4: I will cancel the assassination]
[On a test] Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept victimes potentielles. Parfait.
The last letter you will ever write to your friends and family. We are so considerate at Alliance, as you can see.
[On a proposed bribe] $5 I hardly pay my char kway teow (can hardly pay for)
[On the test] For the rest, I recommend you to revise - everything (that you) [Student: Especially what?] Especially everything
[On the test] You will suffer. And I will enjoy as much as you suffer (your suffering)
[On his narration of a passage from the CD] Is it better? Is it worse? The same? [Student: Worse] I'm sorry for my bad French accent
[On speaking in whole sentences] I prefer when you waste more saliva and say the whole sentence.
En général, les singapouriens préferent habiter dans des maisons ou dans des appartements ? ... Et les français ? [Student: Chateau] Non
[Student: On l'achète ou pas ?] Be careful. Because what you said was 'We kill it or not?' or 'We kill him or her or not?'
Protestation ? [Student: Can we do it after the break?] You're being very French
[Teacher: R-a-n-g-e-r] Can you spell that in English? [Student 2: Ranger]
[Me: Je suis malade encore] Pourquoi tu es malade? [Me: Je ne sais pas] Les femmes. Les femmes.
I'm sure you're lying. We have a new device at Alliance. Le polygraphe.
Metz est infâme. C'est horrible... Il fait froid... Paysages... The best you can do in Metz is to leave the city as soon as possible
[Teacher: Tu préfère habiter en ville ou à la campagne ?]... [Me: À la campagne... Parce que - le CAP... Common Agricultural Policy... The farmers get a lot of money] Are you having a fever?
[Student on a video zooming in on scenery: Can like that ah?] It's not me. It's the TV. We are not that advanced at Alliance.
[Student on identifying a weird object on the TV screen: Chateau]... [Me: Lamppost?] Why not a Merlion?
[Concernant 2 vieux hommes] Qui est le plus sexy?
[Professeur: Quel casquette ?] Une casquette rose. Je ne suis pas gai.
[On describing a video but not talking about pants] According to you those guys wear no pants [Me: We can't see the pants] [Student: Peut-être] New fashion
Tu est chaud ? [Male student: Non] Pas encore
[Me: Il est un homme blanc] Ah. A white man. You mean 'ang moh' right?... Occidental... Caucasian... It reminds us of prehistory
[Teacher: Elle regarde la fenêtre.] [Me: Elle regarde la fenêtre de la porte] Wah lao
[On Pétanque] This is our mahjong
[[On the French] They have a song for everything, except white suits... Paper on the floor [has a song too]
[Me on an Alliance event: There's free wine and cheese. Who pays for this?] Us.
They are not on top of the car. You are not in Mexico here.
What did you say ***? I heard 'shit' [Student: 'Yay'] [Student 2: He said it in Chinese] I can see that my Chinese is going to improve
[Moi, concernant les questions à poser aux Parisiens: Détestez-vous les Anglais ?] C'est une très bonne idée
[Me practising asking each other questions: Quel est votre âge ?] Of course you can invent. I prefer old people. For you to practise your numbers.
[Teacher: Poser une question.] [Student: Bonjour] Bonjour. [Student: Ça va ?] Ça va. [Student: C'est fini]
Où habitez-vous à Paris? [Student: Un chateau]... Vous habitez à Notre Dame ? 'Je suis riche'
[On an 'ordeal'] The first 10 minutes I thought she was speaking Italian
[On an 'ordeal'] I didn't know what was sujet until the break. I thought it was a country... Who is 'sujet'?
Je suis polonais. Polonaise.
[Student: Je ne chômage pas] Je ne chômage pas ? Je ne chômage pas ? Je ne chômage pas ? [Student: Je ne suis chômage] Do you want more homework?
[On Britanny] This is the exception. It is the only region without cheese
[Teacher on a hexagon on the board: Ça, que c'est ?] La France. Exactement.
[Concernant Bretagne] [Si] vous adorez la pluie... [n'est pas de soleil,] c'est la destination parfaite
Paris, c'est pas exactement la France... Orchard, c'est pas exactement Singapour
[Professeur: Quel est le taux de chômage en France, en ce moment?] Cent pourcent
[On silence in class] Do you understand me? I don't hear anything.
[Moi: Une femme qui a 29 ans, c'est une 'fille'?] Oui. 30 ans - *secouant la tête*
[Doing a Jeopardy style exercise] 'Malo, Malo Declas' [Me: Je m'appelle Bond, James Bond]
[Professeur: Guyone est très important pour France, et Europe.] Fromage ? [Professeur: Totalement différent.]
[On ceux] In order to explain that, I will need a few handphones please. [Student: *keeps his*]
[On 120 Days of Sodom, The Movie] It's banned here? It's on TV in Poland. Much later. After the news. After the kids' stuff.
Une question un peu inquisitive - *Girl's name*, combien de paires de chausseures as-tu ? [Me: Haven't you asked us that before? Yes, but she was not here
Gabriel? [Me: Ça m'est t'égal] You don't care. Sorry to the question.
Les tatouages. You just don't understand because it is an English word pronounced by the French.
[Me: Le style nu ?]... ***. Il est le style nu ?... [Student: Peut-être pour toi] (lui)
Le style singapourien. Le short. Le t-shirt. Les sandales... I'm not criticising. I'm describing.
Je porte un jean... Un jean jean (bleu)
Vous allez décrire un collègue... Not me, otherwise I'm going to blush.
[On the exercise] Let's write about him. 'Il n'est pas sympa'
[Student: La personne est très gentil. Et son français est très bien.] It's me? You're not supposed to describe the teacher
[On her tudung] ***, je pense que ses cheveux sont rouges, non ? [Student: Peut-être] Les cheveux verts à lundi.
[Student: La personne porte un t-shirt orange...] Guantanamo colours style.
[On why there is no Mandarin onomatopoeia for a cock's crow] They don't have time to make the sound before they are eaten
'Available'. It's not a French word. ***, tu es available ce soir?... 'Busy'. New French word. [Me: C'est anglicisme]
[On il a arrivé] Utilisez avoir, c'est inacceptable. You saw that 8 months ago [Me: That's why we forgot] Une bonne justification
Une action ou une situation ? [Student: Situation] Donc. Donc. Donc. Donc. Donc. [Student: L'imparfait] Merci.
[On the last lesson] I think we should start today with a test [Student: Let's have a party instead] It will be an unforgettable experience. I want you to be marked forever
How did you know it [aller] was an exception [in the conditional]? [Teacher: Because he studied] [Student in question: I guessed]
[Student: Je venirai] Ce, c'est espagnol. N'est pas français
*** [Student: Yes?] You're allowed to say 'oui'
Quelle est ta profession idéale ? [Me: Je voudrais séduire des femmes et prendre ses d'argents] (argents)
Quel est ton rêve ? [Student: Je n'ai pas de rêve] I'm going to cry... [Student 2: Je voudrais rencontrer Lady Gaga]
Quelles sont ses préoccupations ? [Student 1: Tigres indes] [Student 2: Crocodiles en afrique] (indiens)
[On someone's pronunciation] 'Je n'ai pas d'argent'. I heard 'I do not have a joint of marijuana'
[Me: Femme de ménage ?]... [Teacher: Cleaning lady] You pervert [Me: What?!]
[Moi: Je voyagerais à Côte d'Ivoire] Pour parler français ? [Moi: Pour trouver les diamants]... [Pour donner à] les femmes ? [Moi: Je n'ai pas de femme dans ma vie] [Tu peux les chercher] en Côte d'Ivoire [Moi: Les femmes en Côte d'Ivoire ont les diamants encore] [Pas toutes les femmes] (en, ont déjà les diamants)
[Me: Killer litter] For cats?
C'est mon appartement. C'est ma chein [Student: *kicks*] Non !
[Student on a drawing of her house plan: Vous habitez seule ?] J'habite avec ma sœur. [Me: Mais il y a 3 lits] I have 2 sisters.
80% des personnes habitent à HDB. Où habitent 20% des personnes autres ? [Student 1: Dans la rue] [Student 2: Officialement, il n'y a pas des personnes sans habite]
À Singapour, il y a plus de sacs de Louis Vuitton qu'il y a 10 ans
Utilisez trois phrases... 'C'est une ville aussi agréable que Vladivostok' [Me: What city don't you like?] [Student: KL lah]
Get a French girlfriend lah. Then you can practise everyday. Sweet nothings.
Life would not be fun without exceptions.
Les stéréotypes de la France ? [Moi: Les français boivent du vin tous les jours ?] Ce n'est pas stéréotype. C'est vrai.
Pour devenir électri'chien [Professeur: électricien]
[Pour donner les conseils] 'Pour trouver un travail, ce n'était pas facile. Je n'avais pas de diplôme' [Moi: J'ai marié un acteur célèbre] (je me suis mariée)
Passé composé ou l'imparfait?... 'That's how everything started' [Student: Oh] English! Yay!
[On a job interview] Vous parlez français aussi ? [Student: Un peu] You have to lie
[On interviewing as a secretary] Que'est-ce qui vous aimez?... [Me: J'aime faire du café]
[Concernant le travail] J'aime bien commencer très tôt et finir très tôt [Moi: J'aime bien commencer très tard et finir très tôt]
[On Medishield] You can't take it out until you die
I [will] drill you until you ingest and digest the mechanism (memorise)
Je suis pas du tout de féministe... Are there many feminists in Singapore? The Charter is pretty strong... In France the kids go half-half. In France it was like this [like Singapore] 15 years ago. Now the guys are speaking up for their rights.
***
She's going to do things with - Je suis choqué
[On a picture of a guy in a car speeding towards a tree] He's stealing the car. [Teacher: After economics you should study psychology]
[Me: Je suis malade] Because of women, right?
[On handphone use] ***, are you planning my assassination? Very suspicious.
[Student: The writing part, will it be the same as before?] How much are you willing to pay?... As you know, I am the only teacher at Alliance that you can bribe [Student 2: Whatever it takes] [Student 3: Do you accept cards?] [Student 4: I will cancel the assassination]
[On a test] Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept victimes potentielles. Parfait.
The last letter you will ever write to your friends and family. We are so considerate at Alliance, as you can see.
[On a proposed bribe] $5 I hardly pay my char kway teow (can hardly pay for)
[On the test] For the rest, I recommend you to revise - everything (that you) [Student: Especially what?] Especially everything
[On the test] You will suffer. And I will enjoy as much as you suffer (your suffering)
[On his narration of a passage from the CD] Is it better? Is it worse? The same? [Student: Worse] I'm sorry for my bad French accent
[On speaking in whole sentences] I prefer when you waste more saliva and say the whole sentence.
En général, les singapouriens préferent habiter dans des maisons ou dans des appartements ? ... Et les français ? [Student: Chateau] Non
[Student: On l'achète ou pas ?] Be careful. Because what you said was 'We kill it or not?' or 'We kill him or her or not?'
Protestation ? [Student: Can we do it after the break?] You're being very French
[Teacher: R-a-n-g-e-r] Can you spell that in English? [Student 2: Ranger]
[Me: Je suis malade encore] Pourquoi tu es malade? [Me: Je ne sais pas] Les femmes. Les femmes.
I'm sure you're lying. We have a new device at Alliance. Le polygraphe.
Metz est infâme. C'est horrible... Il fait froid... Paysages... The best you can do in Metz is to leave the city as soon as possible
[Teacher: Tu préfère habiter en ville ou à la campagne ?]... [Me: À la campagne... Parce que - le CAP... Common Agricultural Policy... The farmers get a lot of money] Are you having a fever?
[Student on a video zooming in on scenery: Can like that ah?] It's not me. It's the TV. We are not that advanced at Alliance.
[Student on identifying a weird object on the TV screen: Chateau]... [Me: Lamppost?] Why not a Merlion?
[Concernant 2 vieux hommes] Qui est le plus sexy?
[Professeur: Quel casquette ?] Une casquette rose. Je ne suis pas gai.
[On describing a video but not talking about pants] According to you those guys wear no pants [Me: We can't see the pants] [Student: Peut-être] New fashion
Tu est chaud ? [Male student: Non] Pas encore
[Me: Il est un homme blanc] Ah. A white man. You mean 'ang moh' right?... Occidental... Caucasian... It reminds us of prehistory
[Teacher: Elle regarde la fenêtre.] [Me: Elle regarde la fenêtre de la porte] Wah lao
[On Pétanque] This is our mahjong
[[On the French] They have a song for everything, except white suits... Paper on the floor [has a song too]
[Me on an Alliance event: There's free wine and cheese. Who pays for this?] Us.
They are not on top of the car. You are not in Mexico here.
What did you say ***? I heard 'shit' [Student: 'Yay'] [Student 2: He said it in Chinese] I can see that my Chinese is going to improve
[Moi, concernant les questions à poser aux Parisiens: Détestez-vous les Anglais ?] C'est une très bonne idée
[Me practising asking each other questions: Quel est votre âge ?] Of course you can invent. I prefer old people. For you to practise your numbers.
[Teacher: Poser une question.] [Student: Bonjour] Bonjour. [Student: Ça va ?] Ça va. [Student: C'est fini]
Où habitez-vous à Paris? [Student: Un chateau]... Vous habitez à Notre Dame ? 'Je suis riche'
[On an 'ordeal'] The first 10 minutes I thought she was speaking Italian
[On an 'ordeal'] I didn't know what was sujet until the break. I thought it was a country... Who is 'sujet'?
Je suis polonais. Polonaise.
[Student: Je ne chômage pas] Je ne chômage pas ? Je ne chômage pas ? Je ne chômage pas ? [Student: Je ne suis chômage] Do you want more homework?
[On Britanny] This is the exception. It is the only region without cheese
[Teacher on a hexagon on the board: Ça, que c'est ?] La France. Exactement.
[Concernant Bretagne] [Si] vous adorez la pluie... [n'est pas de soleil,] c'est la destination parfaite
Paris, c'est pas exactement la France... Orchard, c'est pas exactement Singapour
[Professeur: Quel est le taux de chômage en France, en ce moment?] Cent pourcent
[On silence in class] Do you understand me? I don't hear anything.
[Moi: Une femme qui a 29 ans, c'est une 'fille'?] Oui. 30 ans - *secouant la tête*
[Doing a Jeopardy style exercise] 'Malo, Malo Declas' [Me: Je m'appelle Bond, James Bond]
[Professeur: Guyone est très important pour France, et Europe.] Fromage ? [Professeur: Totalement différent.]
[On ceux] In order to explain that, I will need a few handphones please. [Student: *keeps his*]
[On 120 Days of Sodom, The Movie] It's banned here? It's on TV in Poland. Much later. After the news. After the kids' stuff.
Une question un peu inquisitive - *Girl's name*, combien de paires de chausseures as-tu ? [Me: Haven't you asked us that before? Yes, but she was not here
Gabriel? [Me: Ça m'est t'égal] You don't care. Sorry to the question.
Les tatouages. You just don't understand because it is an English word pronounced by the French.
[Me: Le style nu ?]... ***. Il est le style nu ?... [Student: Peut-être pour toi] (lui)
Le style singapourien. Le short. Le t-shirt. Les sandales... I'm not criticising. I'm describing.
Je porte un jean... Un jean jean (bleu)
Vous allez décrire un collègue... Not me, otherwise I'm going to blush.
[On the exercise] Let's write about him. 'Il n'est pas sympa'
[Student: La personne est très gentil. Et son français est très bien.] It's me? You're not supposed to describe the teacher
[On her tudung] ***, je pense que ses cheveux sont rouges, non ? [Student: Peut-être] Les cheveux verts à lundi.
[Student: La personne porte un t-shirt orange...] Guantanamo colours style.
[On why there is no Mandarin onomatopoeia for a cock's crow] They don't have time to make the sound before they are eaten
'Available'. It's not a French word. ***, tu es available ce soir?... 'Busy'. New French word. [Me: C'est anglicisme]
[On il a arrivé] Utilisez avoir, c'est inacceptable. You saw that 8 months ago [Me: That's why we forgot] Une bonne justification
Une action ou une situation ? [Student: Situation] Donc. Donc. Donc. Donc. Donc. [Student: L'imparfait] Merci.
[On the last lesson] I think we should start today with a test [Student: Let's have a party instead] It will be an unforgettable experience. I want you to be marked forever
How did you know it [aller] was an exception [in the conditional]? [Teacher: Because he studied] [Student in question: I guessed]
[Student: Je venirai] Ce, c'est espagnol. N'est pas français
*** [Student: Yes?] You're allowed to say 'oui'
Quelle est ta profession idéale ? [Me: Je voudrais séduire des femmes et prendre ses d'argents] (argents)
Quel est ton rêve ? [Student: Je n'ai pas de rêve] I'm going to cry... [Student 2: Je voudrais rencontrer Lady Gaga]
Quelles sont ses préoccupations ? [Student 1: Tigres indes] [Student 2: Crocodiles en afrique] (indiens)
[On someone's pronunciation] 'Je n'ai pas d'argent'. I heard 'I do not have a joint of marijuana'
[Me: Femme de ménage ?]... [Teacher: Cleaning lady] You pervert [Me: What?!]
[Moi: Je voyagerais à Côte d'Ivoire] Pour parler français ? [Moi: Pour trouver les diamants]... [Pour donner à] les femmes ? [Moi: Je n'ai pas de femme dans ma vie] [Tu peux les chercher] en Côte d'Ivoire [Moi: Les femmes en Côte d'Ivoire ont les diamants encore] [Pas toutes les femmes] (en, ont déjà les diamants)
[Me: Killer litter] For cats?
C'est mon appartement. C'est ma chein [Student: *kicks*] Non !
[Student on a drawing of her house plan: Vous habitez seule ?] J'habite avec ma sœur. [Me: Mais il y a 3 lits] I have 2 sisters.
80% des personnes habitent à HDB. Où habitent 20% des personnes autres ? [Student 1: Dans la rue] [Student 2: Officialement, il n'y a pas des personnes sans habite]
À Singapour, il y a plus de sacs de Louis Vuitton qu'il y a 10 ans
Utilisez trois phrases... 'C'est une ville aussi agréable que Vladivostok' [Me: What city don't you like?] [Student: KL lah]
Get a French girlfriend lah. Then you can practise everyday. Sweet nothings.
Life would not be fun without exceptions.
Les stéréotypes de la France ? [Moi: Les français boivent du vin tous les jours ?] Ce n'est pas stéréotype. C'est vrai.
Pour devenir électri'chien [Professeur: électricien]
[Pour donner les conseils] 'Pour trouver un travail, ce n'était pas facile. Je n'avais pas de diplôme' [Moi: J'ai marié un acteur célèbre] (je me suis mariée)
Passé composé ou l'imparfait?... 'That's how everything started' [Student: Oh] English! Yay!
[On a job interview] Vous parlez français aussi ? [Student: Un peu] You have to lie
[On interviewing as a secretary] Que'est-ce qui vous aimez?... [Me: J'aime faire du café]
[Concernant le travail] J'aime bien commencer très tôt et finir très tôt [Moi: J'aime bien commencer très tard et finir très tôt]
[On Medishield] You can't take it out until you die
I [will] drill you until you ingest and digest the mechanism (memorise)
Je suis pas du tout de féministe... Are there many feminists in Singapore? The Charter is pretty strong... In France the kids go half-half. In France it was like this [like Singapore] 15 years ago. Now the guys are speaking up for their rights.
Post ID: 6263802647847213166
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
"The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection." - Henry Ward Beecher
***
Quotes:
[Student on his weekend: I downloaded music] Ah, tu as... l'activité illégale. Tu as le pirate.
[On going to the Singapore Expo] 'Je suis allée le palais des expositions' [Student: Cos it's so huge] [Student 2: So grand] As you know we use very nice words in French. (au)
Combien de paires de chaussures tu as? [Female student: I cannot count...] La société décadente [Male student: Cinq. Je suis garçon]
Combien de sac est-ce que tu as? [Female student: Dix plus...] [Male student: Une]
[On her weekend] C'est tout? [Student: Non.] Ah. Qu'est-ce que tu as fait? [Student: That's all]
You did lesson 29? [Me: Oui] You finished lesson 29? [Me: Oui] Any questions about lesson 29? [Student: Say yes]
You forgot about it for now. [Student: So it won't be tested...] But a few weeks ago I told you that tests are like women - unpredictable... Take out a piece of paper. For the test.
If you have more than 2 mistakes, je confisque la salade. [Student: *starts eating it*]
I don't care if the guy was bisexual... The guy was cloned.
[On a test submission] 'I like very much the French lady because they are so easy'... What kind of? Are you criticising my country?
[On a test submission] Spanish. 'Interesante!'
[Teacher: Voiture.] I used to be able to pronounce this correctly.
[On 'Mes dernières vacances'] I thought you hated Malaysia. [Me: Precisely. This is why] [Student 2: I wrote the same thing.]
[In French] A. Double P. R. E. N. D. R. E... [In English] Apprendre. [Student: See, isn't that easier?] Are you criticising the teacher, ***? Remember there is a test in a few weeks.
You're early today... [Female Student: Just for you... Like the French... I'm regularly irregular] That's an excellent definition of women. I've never heard a better definition in my life. I will pay you to repeat that.
[Student: Il est sept heures] Deuxième possibilité? [Me: Il est dix-neuf heures] Autres possibilités? [Student: Trick question...] [Female student: Men, always trying to trick] Discrimination.
[Teacher: Il sont assis où?] C'est quelque chose
[Me on 'les seins': I don't know why it's masculin] Because it belongs to men.
[Female student] The French. Very tricky. [Me: And you married one.] I got tricked into marrying one. By the time I found out it was too late.
[On a 10 digit phone number to be transcribed] I only have 0.
Please. 'Qu'est-ce que tu a faire'. No, because... [it] means you are dead. (?)
I'm ***... Not 'girl' [Me: You are the youngest one here] Then call you what, uncle? [Me: How about *** {who is 20 years older than me}?]
[Me: C'est tout?...] You're becoming addicted to my tests.
Madame? [Student: Qui?... It's like calling me 'Auntie'] Auntie, can we start?
[Student on the test: We have to translate?] What do you think you have to do? You give up [on] the test and I do [it] for you?
You are going to be good in bed tomorrow? That's the weather forecast?
[On a wrong expression] You don't know it in French. So you do it in Italian.
[On gender] Africa is a mess. Most likely you don't need to know. You [can] just remember 2 or 3 countries.
[On gender] Mongolia is big. It's one of the biggest countries in Asia. [Student: It's part of China] You say that to the people there. They will come after you.
[On England being feminine but the UK masculine {Great Britain is feminine}] They're not European, and we don't want them to be European. They are American. So you see, it makes sense.
This TV is not working. [Students: Yay.] [Me: On va sortir] [Student: Bonne soirée]
[On a muted video and, perhaps, my ideas] No, she is not a lesbian.
***
Quotes:
[Student on his weekend: I downloaded music] Ah, tu as... l'activité illégale. Tu as le pirate.
[On going to the Singapore Expo] 'Je suis allée le palais des expositions' [Student: Cos it's so huge] [Student 2: So grand] As you know we use very nice words in French. (au)
Combien de paires de chaussures tu as? [Female student: I cannot count...] La société décadente [Male student: Cinq. Je suis garçon]
Combien de sac est-ce que tu as? [Female student: Dix plus...] [Male student: Une]
[On her weekend] C'est tout? [Student: Non.] Ah. Qu'est-ce que tu as fait? [Student: That's all]
You did lesson 29? [Me: Oui] You finished lesson 29? [Me: Oui] Any questions about lesson 29? [Student: Say yes]
You forgot about it for now. [Student: So it won't be tested...] But a few weeks ago I told you that tests are like women - unpredictable... Take out a piece of paper. For the test.
If you have more than 2 mistakes, je confisque la salade. [Student: *starts eating it*]
I don't care if the guy was bisexual... The guy was cloned.
[On a test submission] 'I like very much the French lady because they are so easy'... What kind of? Are you criticising my country?
[On a test submission] Spanish. 'Interesante!'
[Teacher: Voiture.] I used to be able to pronounce this correctly.
[On 'Mes dernières vacances'] I thought you hated Malaysia. [Me: Precisely. This is why] [Student 2: I wrote the same thing.]
[In French] A. Double P. R. E. N. D. R. E... [In English] Apprendre. [Student: See, isn't that easier?] Are you criticising the teacher, ***? Remember there is a test in a few weeks.
You're early today... [Female Student: Just for you... Like the French... I'm regularly irregular] That's an excellent definition of women. I've never heard a better definition in my life. I will pay you to repeat that.
[Student: Il est sept heures] Deuxième possibilité? [Me: Il est dix-neuf heures] Autres possibilités? [Student: Trick question...] [Female student: Men, always trying to trick] Discrimination.
[Teacher: Il sont assis où?] C'est quelque chose
[Me on 'les seins': I don't know why it's masculin] Because it belongs to men.
[Female student] The French. Very tricky. [Me: And you married one.] I got tricked into marrying one. By the time I found out it was too late.
[On a 10 digit phone number to be transcribed] I only have 0.
Please. 'Qu'est-ce que tu a faire'. No, because... [it] means you are dead. (?)
I'm ***... Not 'girl' [Me: You are the youngest one here] Then call you what, uncle? [Me: How about *** {who is 20 years older than me}?]
[Me: C'est tout?...] You're becoming addicted to my tests.
Madame? [Student: Qui?... It's like calling me 'Auntie'] Auntie, can we start?
[Student on the test: We have to translate?] What do you think you have to do? You give up [on] the test and I do [it] for you?
You are going to be good in bed tomorrow? That's the weather forecast?
[On a wrong expression] You don't know it in French. So you do it in Italian.
[On gender] Africa is a mess. Most likely you don't need to know. You [can] just remember 2 or 3 countries.
[On gender] Mongolia is big. It's one of the biggest countries in Asia. [Student: It's part of China] You say that to the people there. They will come after you.
[On England being feminine but the UK masculine {Great Britain is feminine}] They're not European, and we don't want them to be European. They are American. So you see, it makes sense.
This TV is not working. [Students: Yay.] [Me: On va sortir] [Student: Bonne soirée]
[On a muted video and, perhaps, my ideas] No, she is not a lesbian.
Post ID: 4616721525134235943
Saturday, November 21, 2009
"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg
***
Quotes:
Pour se détendre... [Me: J'étudie français... ensuite j'ai la stress beaucoup]
How do you know my age? [Me: *points to class register*... Have you heard of the Christmas Cake Theory?...] *annoyed noise* [Me: It's okay. I see a ring.] *annoyed noise*
[On Tom Bombadil] Thank god they didn't show him in the movie, or I'd have died
[On Business Studies] I chose marketing, because you can say whatever you want
[On her babydoll fringe] I went for a talk with International Students and the woman asked, "Is anyone from China?" And she looked at me.
[On 'les deux hommes ont ouvert ses jambes'] At least you're studying beyond the book. [Me: Yeah. Sometimes I sexually harass my friend by sending her French pickup lines.]
[You do something] Avec ton ami, ton frère? [Student: Avec ton frère] You know my brother?
Singapore is a modern country. However there're still things which are very different in France or in Europe... Politically incorrect to put a picture in your resume... No name in your resume, it's just a number... Maybe if I carry African name, there're some people who don't like?... Maybe one day it will come [to Singapore] (have an, won't)
[On Singapore] If you compare with the countries around [the region], yes it's modern. If you compare with other countries it is not modern.
[On speed personality tests with questions asking the same thing in different ways] Your level of genuity (honesty)
Responsable de l'accueil! Pas manager. 'I'm the manager of the reception' 'Wow, how many people?' 'Me only'
[On some people in Singapore] La carte... 'President'. 'Wow!' 'How many people?' 'I'm by myself' (I don't employ anyone)
French people are lazy. I don't exaggerate... Le système en france... Le boulanger. You can make a good living.
Audacieux... some people really go to the edge of what is permitted... When you send your resume to a big company there are many resumes... They send a resume which is pale blue, so in the pile you see a blue line... People who send paper that is not A4. It doesn't fit in the pile... They try everything to be noticed. Some people send musical letters. When you open, 'wah wah wah'
'Vous voulez quoi'? 'You want what'?
Where can you not drink wine? [Student: In the train, in the church]
Elle a eu un an d'anglais à l'école mais elle ne peut pas dire un mot. She studied English for a year at school but she cannot speak a single word. Which is very likely, when you study Engish in France... [Me: At least we can speak a word of French] Very often it's English phobia. You do not want to learn English in France.
He reinstalled the Olympic Games (revived)
All the Latin countries. In Spain they do not want to speak English. In Latin America. In Africa... It was in Bei'gin. The conference was in Chinese and English... All the African delegation[s], being able to speak French but not English, they left. (Beijing)
[On the Olympics] Some countries, they are poor... Tell them: 'Get set, go!' 'Huh? Quoi?'
[On the Youth Olympics] They have to find people who speak French. It is extremely difficult. In August, all the French people are on vacation
[On homework] Pas panique. Some people are empty already.
[On 'oui, je l'ai mangée'] If it is femminin, even if it is avoir, you must add the extra e. [Student: *sotto voce* What the fuck] [Student 2: I knew that was coming]
I foe'cues on the second part (focus)
Comment réussir un interview: un entretien, pardon.
They learn by heart certain expressions, and they say it during the interview... C'est bizarre... Et n'est pas naturel.
If you want to be a manager in France, good luck. A lot of people don't want... it's very hard to move the immovable... [Student: Communist] N'est pas communist... People still shout at the boss... Manage what is unmanageable... They went to bomb the factory, because the trade union find, the agreement is not respected. They already destroyed half of the factory (them, found, was)
In the South of France, à Marseilles, people like to strike for the sake of striking. People find an excuse to strike.
11 or 12 years ago... CISCO. The people who guard the vans went on strike. Within 4 months, people attacked the vans with the bazooka... The people wanted more money... 2 vans. People won't know which one to shoot... Or they shoot both vans... You will explode with the van. They don't find you anymore, they find pieces of you... très violent... Les gangsters... They don't have a knife. They have a rifle. (a)
[On the Paris metro] The gang. They attack you at 1am... They have to find someone to kill. They [the drivers] go on strike. they want more protection. You have to pay the guard... They are wrong or they are right? [are they]
In Singapore, many times I hear people say 'ooh lala'. They sound ridiculous... Oh là là.
Qu'est-ce que c'est - 'ne quittes pas!' *claps hands* [Me: 'Don't dump me']
[On the test] I count on you to come. Not to skip it. Even if you fail, which is not possible, even if you fail, you can still continue.
[On the test] You have an oral. [Student: 1-by-1?] 3-by-3.
[On a test] I prepared a class of 12. Only 3 came. All the 3 didn't know about it. The next week, everyone came. 'I was sick'
Tu joues dans le film?... [Student: J'en fais beaucoup] Tu révé.
[Student: J'aime beaucoup de travail, mais je déteste -] Tu détestes des vacances?
Ever been to France before? [Student: Airport...] The most miserable airport you can imagine in the world.
Don't say 'je fesse' because that is 'my bottom'
[Me: Je veux lire du livre de Jean-Jacques Rousseau] En français? [Me: Oui] Bravo. That is hard, even for me.
Test is unpredictable. [It] Can be anytime. Don't think: 'Today there is a test. I will come late'. It can be at 9:45 [Ed: the class ends at 9:30] *laughs from class* You will not be laughing next time. (A)
How do you say 'rest' in Frence? [Me: Coucher?] Coucher is to have sex.
Tell me what you did during the last holiday. If you didn't do anything, you can lie. I don't care... It's not necessary to copy the sentences in lesson 19. I know them by heart.
You want a break now or a break later? Or no break? [Student: Not very French right] Ah ah!
[On grammar] This is like the rules in Singapore. Don't think, just apply.
[On grammar] The instructor is not a transvestite or bisexual.
Beaucoup. Not boo'koh. Boo'koh is a nice bottom.
[Me: Why is it chercheur and not rechercheur?] I don't know.
In case there are mistakes, one of you will do a striptease... [Student: There's only 1 person they want to see] [Only female: There's nothing to see, really] (if)
How much do you understand? [Student: Soixante pourcent.] [Student 2: Souxante pourcent. [Student 3: Moi aussi] [Me: Soixante-onze pourcent] C'est exact! [Me: Je suis statisticien]
I am pleased to inform you that in a few weeks you will have a test. A real one. 3 hours. [Student: Are you serious?] The teacher is always serious. Otherwise it will be unprofessional... Vous aurez une torture individuelle... If I have a camera now to take the picture (had, a)
'Pourquoi est-ce qu'elle est fatiguée?' [Me: Parce qu'elle a couché à ses amis.] Avec ses amis. [Student: Yuck] Autres raisons? *silence* Everyone wrote the same.
Tu as voyagé seul? [Student: Non] Jamais? [Student: I'm too young]
Tu préferes voyager organisation ou non-organisation? [Me: Non-organisation] Pourquoi? [Me: Je déteste {les} singapouriens... Autres choses? [Me: Ils sont kiasu] Shit, I don't know how to say that in French.
[Me on why Singaporeans like Bangkok: Les femmes sont belles] [Female student:] Les femmes [à singapour] sont belles aussi.
Le cheval... Le lapin. [Student: Yucks] Sorry, but the Chinese eat everything, okay. [Student: In China]
Tu n'est pas végétarien?... [Student: Carnivore] [Student 2: Carnivore] [Me: Omnivore] C'est précis
En france, a certain percentage mange cheval. Pourquoi? [Student: Le beaucoup {de} cheval.] *laughs from students* You stupid lah!... La personne beaucoup de cholestérol. Ne mange du bœuf... Mange le cheval. (Il y a)
Autre réponses? Everyone wrote the same. Fantastique.
[On a listening exercise] Petite dick? Vraiment. Really.
[On Cannes] C'est très très cher... Un café, soixante dollars.
[Student transforming 'on a mange' to past tense: On a se mangé.] You were eaten by cannibals.
Australie?... Masculin? Feminin? Unisexuel? Travesti?
The most important countries in Europe are female. [Student: Important? How do you know what's important?] Is Morrocco big? Is Vatican [City] big? [Student: Vatican? Where's that?]
Pas de logique. Bag. Should be female. It's male. Car. Should be male. It's female... Russian, it's even worse. Masculin, feminin. Et neutre.
[On L'Académie française] If you want to become one of these guys, you have to - how do I say - wait for one of them to die.
[On the second person singular losing the e in l'imperatif] C'est stupide. C'est ridicule. C'est absurde. Mais c'est français. Sorry... Stupidement, ridiculement, français.
Autres choses? Everyone wrote the same thing. Pouvoir la télépathie.
[Me on les conseils donnés aux vacanciers: Ne vous habillez pas à l'extérieur. Habillez vous dans votre chambre.] So you go naked in the streets.
[On someone writing about 'Luc'] Le personne qui parle est un homme ou une femme? [Me: Pas différent]... It depends on your sexual orientation. 'Luc'. She is in love with him. Probablement, c'est une femme.
Où restes tu, en vacances?... [Me: à les rues] Dans les rues.
[On a mistake] Non! Non! Non! [Student: I'm fine. Don't worry about me]
[Student: You're not teaching the next class right?] Unfortunately for you, I think I will continue. You are so unlucky, no?
What happened to you last week? [Student: Err, my girlfriend's birthday]... Merci. [Student: No choice]
[Student: Je me suis réveillée à six heures et demie.] Pour faire l'exercises français?
You look stressed [Student: Okay] I should take a photo of you... If you make a mistake, I [will] just scold you.
[Me: Je me suis reposé] Dans le bureau? [Me: Dans les toilettes] Combien de temps? [Me: Cinq minutes.]
Comment est-ce que vous partez en vacances? [Me: à pied] You will go very far.
[Student on survey results: Ils préfèrent la campagne et détestent - autres] *silence* C'est possible.
99 person't of the time (percent)
[Student on l'imparfait: Isn't yesterday in the past?] Yes. Don't- [Student 2: Think] *whisper* Just apply. Be a good Singaporean. [Student 2: Basket] Shut up.
'Ne vous achetez pas trop de choses.' How do you say [therefore,] give me your money.
[Teacher: Vous préferez partir à Singapour ou à l'étranger pendant vos vacances?] à Singapour! [Teacher: à Tampines?] à ma maison
[On the relief teacher] Her English is worse than my French.
Je déteste dormir mais j'aime coucher.
[Teacher: I want to know why you decided to study French, and not Spanish, or Italian.] Sounds nice
My husband's French. [Teacher: So no choice] So no choice.
[Teacher: Tu fais du sport?... C'est tout?] Huh? [Teacher: C'est tout?] I didn't come last week.
[Teacher: Quelles sont tes loisirs préférer?...] Étudier.
[On his weekend] Coucher. That's correct.
[Teacher on 'en': Tu bois du café?] It's easier to say yes.
[Teacher on vegetables eaten: Autres choses?] Lemon. [Student 2: Kiam cai]
Nous quittons notre appartement; il est trop buyant et très grand. [Teacher: C'est possible. Je préfér] Il est pas assez bruyant.
[Teacher: Any suggestions for the test?] Something simple
[Teacher: Is that alcohol?] I need it for your class.
***
Quotes:
Pour se détendre... [Me: J'étudie français... ensuite j'ai la stress beaucoup]
How do you know my age? [Me: *points to class register*... Have you heard of the Christmas Cake Theory?...] *annoyed noise* [Me: It's okay. I see a ring.] *annoyed noise*
[On Tom Bombadil] Thank god they didn't show him in the movie, or I'd have died
[On Business Studies] I chose marketing, because you can say whatever you want
[On her babydoll fringe] I went for a talk with International Students and the woman asked, "Is anyone from China?" And she looked at me.
[On 'les deux hommes ont ouvert ses jambes'] At least you're studying beyond the book. [Me: Yeah. Sometimes I sexually harass my friend by sending her French pickup lines.]
[You do something] Avec ton ami, ton frère? [Student: Avec ton frère] You know my brother?
Singapore is a modern country. However there're still things which are very different in France or in Europe... Politically incorrect to put a picture in your resume... No name in your resume, it's just a number... Maybe if I carry African name, there're some people who don't like?... Maybe one day it will come [to Singapore] (have an, won't)
[On Singapore] If you compare with the countries around [the region], yes it's modern. If you compare with other countries it is not modern.
[On speed personality tests with questions asking the same thing in different ways] Your level of genuity (honesty)
Responsable de l'accueil! Pas manager. 'I'm the manager of the reception' 'Wow, how many people?' 'Me only'
[On some people in Singapore] La carte... 'President'. 'Wow!' 'How many people?' 'I'm by myself' (I don't employ anyone)
French people are lazy. I don't exaggerate... Le système en france... Le boulanger. You can make a good living.
Audacieux... some people really go to the edge of what is permitted... When you send your resume to a big company there are many resumes... They send a resume which is pale blue, so in the pile you see a blue line... People who send paper that is not A4. It doesn't fit in the pile... They try everything to be noticed. Some people send musical letters. When you open, 'wah wah wah'
'Vous voulez quoi'? 'You want what'?
Where can you not drink wine? [Student: In the train, in the church]
Elle a eu un an d'anglais à l'école mais elle ne peut pas dire un mot. She studied English for a year at school but she cannot speak a single word. Which is very likely, when you study Engish in France... [Me: At least we can speak a word of French] Very often it's English phobia. You do not want to learn English in France.
He reinstalled the Olympic Games (revived)
All the Latin countries. In Spain they do not want to speak English. In Latin America. In Africa... It was in Bei'gin. The conference was in Chinese and English... All the African delegation[s], being able to speak French but not English, they left. (Beijing)
[On the Olympics] Some countries, they are poor... Tell them: 'Get set, go!' 'Huh? Quoi?'
[On the Youth Olympics] They have to find people who speak French. It is extremely difficult. In August, all the French people are on vacation
[On homework] Pas panique. Some people are empty already.
[On 'oui, je l'ai mangée'] If it is femminin, even if it is avoir, you must add the extra e. [Student: *sotto voce* What the fuck] [Student 2: I knew that was coming]
I foe'cues on the second part (focus)
Comment réussir un interview: un entretien, pardon.
They learn by heart certain expressions, and they say it during the interview... C'est bizarre... Et n'est pas naturel.
If you want to be a manager in France, good luck. A lot of people don't want... it's very hard to move the immovable... [Student: Communist] N'est pas communist... People still shout at the boss... Manage what is unmanageable... They went to bomb the factory, because the trade union find, the agreement is not respected. They already destroyed half of the factory (them, found, was)
In the South of France, à Marseilles, people like to strike for the sake of striking. People find an excuse to strike.
11 or 12 years ago... CISCO. The people who guard the vans went on strike. Within 4 months, people attacked the vans with the bazooka... The people wanted more money... 2 vans. People won't know which one to shoot... Or they shoot both vans... You will explode with the van. They don't find you anymore, they find pieces of you... très violent... Les gangsters... They don't have a knife. They have a rifle. (a)
[On the Paris metro] The gang. They attack you at 1am... They have to find someone to kill. They [the drivers] go on strike. they want more protection. You have to pay the guard... They are wrong or they are right? [are they]
In Singapore, many times I hear people say 'ooh lala'. They sound ridiculous... Oh là là.
Qu'est-ce que c'est - 'ne quittes pas!' *claps hands* [Me: 'Don't dump me']
[On the test] I count on you to come. Not to skip it. Even if you fail, which is not possible, even if you fail, you can still continue.
[On the test] You have an oral. [Student: 1-by-1?] 3-by-3.
[On a test] I prepared a class of 12. Only 3 came. All the 3 didn't know about it. The next week, everyone came. 'I was sick'
Tu joues dans le film?... [Student: J'en fais beaucoup] Tu révé.
[Student: J'aime beaucoup de travail, mais je déteste -] Tu détestes des vacances?
Ever been to France before? [Student: Airport...] The most miserable airport you can imagine in the world.
Don't say 'je fesse' because that is 'my bottom'
[Me: Je veux lire du livre de Jean-Jacques Rousseau] En français? [Me: Oui] Bravo. That is hard, even for me.
Test is unpredictable. [It] Can be anytime. Don't think: 'Today there is a test. I will come late'. It can be at 9:45 [Ed: the class ends at 9:30] *laughs from class* You will not be laughing next time. (A)
How do you say 'rest' in Frence? [Me: Coucher?] Coucher is to have sex.
Tell me what you did during the last holiday. If you didn't do anything, you can lie. I don't care... It's not necessary to copy the sentences in lesson 19. I know them by heart.
You want a break now or a break later? Or no break? [Student: Not very French right] Ah ah!
[On grammar] This is like the rules in Singapore. Don't think, just apply.
[On grammar] The instructor is not a transvestite or bisexual.
Beaucoup. Not boo'koh. Boo'koh is a nice bottom.
[Me: Why is it chercheur and not rechercheur?] I don't know.
In case there are mistakes, one of you will do a striptease... [Student: There's only 1 person they want to see] [Only female: There's nothing to see, really] (if)
How much do you understand? [Student: Soixante pourcent.] [Student 2: Souxante pourcent. [Student 3: Moi aussi] [Me: Soixante-onze pourcent] C'est exact! [Me: Je suis statisticien]
I am pleased to inform you that in a few weeks you will have a test. A real one. 3 hours. [Student: Are you serious?] The teacher is always serious. Otherwise it will be unprofessional... Vous aurez une torture individuelle... If I have a camera now to take the picture (had, a)
'Pourquoi est-ce qu'elle est fatiguée?' [Me: Parce qu'elle a couché à ses amis.] Avec ses amis. [Student: Yuck] Autres raisons? *silence* Everyone wrote the same.
Tu as voyagé seul? [Student: Non] Jamais? [Student: I'm too young]
Tu préferes voyager organisation ou non-organisation? [Me: Non-organisation] Pourquoi? [Me: Je déteste {les} singapouriens... Autres choses? [Me: Ils sont kiasu] Shit, I don't know how to say that in French.
[Me on why Singaporeans like Bangkok: Les femmes sont belles] [Female student:] Les femmes [à singapour] sont belles aussi.
Le cheval... Le lapin. [Student: Yucks] Sorry, but the Chinese eat everything, okay. [Student: In China]
Tu n'est pas végétarien?... [Student: Carnivore] [Student 2: Carnivore] [Me: Omnivore] C'est précis
En france, a certain percentage mange cheval. Pourquoi? [Student: Le beaucoup {de} cheval.] *laughs from students* You stupid lah!... La personne beaucoup de cholestérol. Ne mange du bœuf... Mange le cheval. (Il y a)
Autre réponses? Everyone wrote the same. Fantastique.
[On a listening exercise] Petite dick? Vraiment. Really.
[On Cannes] C'est très très cher... Un café, soixante dollars.
[Student transforming 'on a mange' to past tense: On a se mangé.] You were eaten by cannibals.
Australie?... Masculin? Feminin? Unisexuel? Travesti?
The most important countries in Europe are female. [Student: Important? How do you know what's important?] Is Morrocco big? Is Vatican [City] big? [Student: Vatican? Where's that?]
Pas de logique. Bag. Should be female. It's male. Car. Should be male. It's female... Russian, it's even worse. Masculin, feminin. Et neutre.
[On L'Académie française] If you want to become one of these guys, you have to - how do I say - wait for one of them to die.
[On the second person singular losing the e in l'imperatif] C'est stupide. C'est ridicule. C'est absurde. Mais c'est français. Sorry... Stupidement, ridiculement, français.
Autres choses? Everyone wrote the same thing. Pouvoir la télépathie.
[Me on les conseils donnés aux vacanciers: Ne vous habillez pas à l'extérieur. Habillez vous dans votre chambre.] So you go naked in the streets.
[On someone writing about 'Luc'] Le personne qui parle est un homme ou une femme? [Me: Pas différent]... It depends on your sexual orientation. 'Luc'. She is in love with him. Probablement, c'est une femme.
Où restes tu, en vacances?... [Me: à les rues] Dans les rues.
[On a mistake] Non! Non! Non! [Student: I'm fine. Don't worry about me]
[Student: You're not teaching the next class right?] Unfortunately for you, I think I will continue. You are so unlucky, no?
What happened to you last week? [Student: Err, my girlfriend's birthday]... Merci. [Student: No choice]
[Student: Je me suis réveillée à six heures et demie.] Pour faire l'exercises français?
You look stressed [Student: Okay] I should take a photo of you... If you make a mistake, I [will] just scold you.
[Me: Je me suis reposé] Dans le bureau? [Me: Dans les toilettes] Combien de temps? [Me: Cinq minutes.]
Comment est-ce que vous partez en vacances? [Me: à pied] You will go very far.
[Student on survey results: Ils préfèrent la campagne et détestent - autres] *silence* C'est possible.
99 person't of the time (percent)
[Student on l'imparfait: Isn't yesterday in the past?] Yes. Don't- [Student 2: Think] *whisper* Just apply. Be a good Singaporean. [Student 2: Basket] Shut up.
'Ne vous achetez pas trop de choses.' How do you say [therefore,] give me your money.
[Teacher: Vous préferez partir à Singapour ou à l'étranger pendant vos vacances?] à Singapour! [Teacher: à Tampines?] à ma maison
[On the relief teacher] Her English is worse than my French.
Je déteste dormir mais j'aime coucher.
[Teacher: I want to know why you decided to study French, and not Spanish, or Italian.] Sounds nice
My husband's French. [Teacher: So no choice] So no choice.
[Teacher: Tu fais du sport?... C'est tout?] Huh? [Teacher: C'est tout?] I didn't come last week.
[Teacher: Quelles sont tes loisirs préférer?...] Étudier.
[On his weekend] Coucher. That's correct.
[Teacher on 'en': Tu bois du café?] It's easier to say yes.
[Teacher on vegetables eaten: Autres choses?] Lemon. [Student 2: Kiam cai]
Nous quittons notre appartement; il est trop buyant et très grand. [Teacher: C'est possible. Je préfér] Il est pas assez bruyant.
[Teacher: Any suggestions for the test?] Something simple
[Teacher: Is that alcohol?] I need it for your class.
Post ID: 2458403930944547051
Friday, October 30, 2009
"A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500." - Benjamin H. Brewster
***
Quotes:
[On being an alibi] Gabriel, can you come home with me? I will pay you with something. [Me: That sounds dodgy. Especially since you're untying your dress]
Your pronunciation is quite good. [Me: Really? My sister says I have a Singlish accent...] You'll have no problems in Marseilles.
[Me: Is she chatting with her secret lover?] She doesn't have a secret lover. [Me: Argh. The point of a secret lover is to keep it secret]
[On a DOTA LAN party] It's because it's become an official sport that people are playing it now. [Me: That's quite sad]
[Someone: We need a gyroscope.] Eww. Isn't that the thing you put up your anus?... Bimbo moment
[On 叫我皇帝] Lucky in Singapore we don't have 'Call me Lee Kuan Yew'
Speaks in a very high voice. Very fair. No wonder all the guys like.
I've never met any guy who likes Japanese porn
My China friend came to Singapore to study. She said her English standard went down.
I realise all my ex-boyfriends had a thing for anal. [Me: All? Maybe that says something about you...]
[Me: I'm quite risk averse, and my time horizon isn't that long] You're getting married?
What XXX and I wanted to do was get a Tarsier, slit its throat and han it over his door... Keep the eyes open
[On relief teaching] I had students whipping themselves with canes... I'd usher them in and they would run out and cane each other
[On international dating] Taiwan, that one, a bit dangerous. She has a free trade policy... The rest are bilateral trade relations.
[On my taste in women] You like the prepubescent, undernourished dwarf.
Yay, I'm going to go home and watch Desperate Housewives. [Me: What shall I do?] Masturbate? [Me: *rolls eyes*]
[On what she saw outside the window] There's a lot of people out there [on the street]. [Me: You can shout at them. Then they'll come up here and beat you up. Sorry they'll come and beat me up.]
[Me on a Middle Eastern restaurant: Why are these places always so dimly lit?] So you can't see how grimy the carpet is.
[24 year old on marrying older men] I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too immature. [Me: I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too old.]
[Me on Singapore Idol: Where are all of these kids coming from?] From the birth canals of Singaporeans. I had to say that.
[On his Orientation camp] They're so young. [Me: I thought guys like young girls...] they're so immature and not full-bodied.
***
Quotes:
[On being an alibi] Gabriel, can you come home with me? I will pay you with something. [Me: That sounds dodgy. Especially since you're untying your dress]
Your pronunciation is quite good. [Me: Really? My sister says I have a Singlish accent...] You'll have no problems in Marseilles.
[Me: Is she chatting with her secret lover?] She doesn't have a secret lover. [Me: Argh. The point of a secret lover is to keep it secret]
[On a DOTA LAN party] It's because it's become an official sport that people are playing it now. [Me: That's quite sad]
[Someone: We need a gyroscope.] Eww. Isn't that the thing you put up your anus?... Bimbo moment
[On 叫我皇帝] Lucky in Singapore we don't have 'Call me Lee Kuan Yew'
Speaks in a very high voice. Very fair. No wonder all the guys like.
I've never met any guy who likes Japanese porn
My China friend came to Singapore to study. She said her English standard went down.
I realise all my ex-boyfriends had a thing for anal. [Me: All? Maybe that says something about you...]
[Me: I'm quite risk averse, and my time horizon isn't that long] You're getting married?
What XXX and I wanted to do was get a Tarsier, slit its throat and han it over his door... Keep the eyes open
[On relief teaching] I had students whipping themselves with canes... I'd usher them in and they would run out and cane each other
[On international dating] Taiwan, that one, a bit dangerous. She has a free trade policy... The rest are bilateral trade relations.
[On my taste in women] You like the prepubescent, undernourished dwarf.
Yay, I'm going to go home and watch Desperate Housewives. [Me: What shall I do?] Masturbate? [Me: *rolls eyes*]
[On what she saw outside the window] There's a lot of people out there [on the street]. [Me: You can shout at them. Then they'll come up here and beat you up. Sorry they'll come and beat me up.]
[Me on a Middle Eastern restaurant: Why are these places always so dimly lit?] So you can't see how grimy the carpet is.
[24 year old on marrying older men] I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too immature. [Me: I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too old.]
[Me on Singapore Idol: Where are all of these kids coming from?] From the birth canals of Singaporeans. I had to say that.
[On his Orientation camp] They're so young. [Me: I thought guys like young girls...] they're so immature and not full-bodied.
Post ID: 7071070383109366279
Friday, July 31, 2009
"Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed." - Blaise Pascal
***
Quotes:
All the Malays I know in Uni have Arab blood
[Me: How is XXX?] Lesbian. [Me: Thanks, I know.]
Her Malay friends are always late. Then they say 'Janji Melayu'... Malay Promises
[On his office] 90% male... [On the girls] Those who can make it, all but one are attached. Those who cannot make it, all not attached.
[Me on drinking at bars although it's more expensive: Guys can hit on you. It raises your self-esteem.] That only works for girls with low self esteem. [Me: Most girls have low self esteem] I don't deny that
Calcutta had the bombing last year. [Me: Last year was Mumbai. Calcutta was 07. Every year one city will be bombed. What city will be bombed in 09?]
Come work for EDB. You'll be in an environment surrounded by lots of young people. Who will die early of alcohol poisoning.
[Me on being called when busy: I like to pick up and let them listen. Then they go: 'what the hell?'] You're very evil.
[On his/her ministry] You must like helping people, and you don't see the results. [Me: Isn't that the case for the whole of government?]... In MOF, you can screw people over and see the results immediately.
I'm sure our GDP will be greatly boosted if there's some way of recording tuition receipts.
I'm getting very disillusioned with Malaysia [Me: Finally, you're seeing sense... I've been telling you that Malaysia is a piece of shit for years]
I've spent $500 on hawker food in the last week
[Me on his SDU experience: Are they all gold-diggers?] Let's just say the women there are very pragmatic... They're looking for husbands, not boyfriends.
Anyone going South? I'm going to take the LAST TRAIN. [Everyone: BYE]
I've a friend who's so black that when you take a picture of him, you can't see his face.
Women's studies majors are either very feminist or lesbian or very pretty.
[Me: Real Mexican food is different from what you find outside Mexico.] Real Mexican food gives you diarrhea.
I've never thought Singaporean men like boobs, but ever since I got bigger boobs I've noticed them staring a lot more
[On Japan] There was this old woman in front of me in the queue... Her bag had a tag which said 'What's up bitch?'
If you take away the choreography and people on stage, it's quite good... The music is okay.
It's the best musical I've seen this year [Me: Is it the only musical you've seen this year?]
Libertarianism is just filled with crazies of all stripes
[On buying 12 boxes of eclipse mints at the convenience store and not the supermarket] I have a terrible sickness [Me: It's called stupidity]
I prefer small breasts. [Me: Okay. What's your definition of small?] C and below.
[Me on eating long strands of ramen dangling from chopsticks in the air: Do you want me to feed you?] *points chopsticks up facing me* Read between the fucking lines. [Me: It's empty]
[Me: Bukkake is cold noodles with stuff on top of them.] What stuff? Women?
After I take them I will post them online. What else would I do with them? [Me: I hope you don't do that with your girlfriend's nude photos]
[Me on a transvestite who cannot go out in drag: Why doesn't he go to JB?] I think it's way too dangerous. If you go to JB in a BMW with Singapore plates. Dressed as a tranny.
She's my rubbish bin. [Me: I want a rubbish bin too.] No, she's mine!
[Me: What's your claim to fame?] [Someone: She does things with horses] That sounds very wrong.
[On my resting my head on someone's shoulder] They all very sweet, those two. [Someone: You didn't see him raping me]
[On a string of Mamee seasoning] However much I respect you, I thought you were bringing in a pack of condoms.
UD? I want to know what happened. [Me: Nothing happened.] Yah.
[On the NUS Engineering Western food uncle] I can't stand him, because he's more guai lan than me.
You burn through girls like you burn through modules. [Me: Girls burn through you like modules burn through you] [Someone: Okay, this is getting awkward] [Me: No, I'm enjoying it very much]
My hair is not that bad. [Me: But it's not that good either]
[Me on a fire alarm: I smell something burning] Maybe it's toast.
I've gained 2 kg since my relationship started. [Me: Why?] Because I'm pregnant.
[On SMU employment] Do you know why? The members of the Board of Directors have committed to hiring their graduates.
Vanaigrette (Vinaigrette)
Staffed Sea Cucumber in Homemade style (Stuffed)
***
Quotes:
All the Malays I know in Uni have Arab blood
[Me: How is XXX?] Lesbian. [Me: Thanks, I know.]
Her Malay friends are always late. Then they say 'Janji Melayu'... Malay Promises
[On his office] 90% male... [On the girls] Those who can make it, all but one are attached. Those who cannot make it, all not attached.
[Me on drinking at bars although it's more expensive: Guys can hit on you. It raises your self-esteem.] That only works for girls with low self esteem. [Me: Most girls have low self esteem] I don't deny that
Calcutta had the bombing last year. [Me: Last year was Mumbai. Calcutta was 07. Every year one city will be bombed. What city will be bombed in 09?]
Come work for EDB. You'll be in an environment surrounded by lots of young people. Who will die early of alcohol poisoning.
[Me on being called when busy: I like to pick up and let them listen. Then they go: 'what the hell?'] You're very evil.
[On his/her ministry] You must like helping people, and you don't see the results. [Me: Isn't that the case for the whole of government?]... In MOF, you can screw people over and see the results immediately.
I'm sure our GDP will be greatly boosted if there's some way of recording tuition receipts.
I'm getting very disillusioned with Malaysia [Me: Finally, you're seeing sense... I've been telling you that Malaysia is a piece of shit for years]
I've spent $500 on hawker food in the last week
[Me on his SDU experience: Are they all gold-diggers?] Let's just say the women there are very pragmatic... They're looking for husbands, not boyfriends.
Anyone going South? I'm going to take the LAST TRAIN. [Everyone: BYE]
I've a friend who's so black that when you take a picture of him, you can't see his face.
Women's studies majors are either very feminist or lesbian or very pretty.
[Me: Real Mexican food is different from what you find outside Mexico.] Real Mexican food gives you diarrhea.
I've never thought Singaporean men like boobs, but ever since I got bigger boobs I've noticed them staring a lot more
[On Japan] There was this old woman in front of me in the queue... Her bag had a tag which said 'What's up bitch?'
If you take away the choreography and people on stage, it's quite good... The music is okay.
It's the best musical I've seen this year [Me: Is it the only musical you've seen this year?]
Libertarianism is just filled with crazies of all stripes
[On buying 12 boxes of eclipse mints at the convenience store and not the supermarket] I have a terrible sickness [Me: It's called stupidity]
I prefer small breasts. [Me: Okay. What's your definition of small?] C and below.
[Me on eating long strands of ramen dangling from chopsticks in the air: Do you want me to feed you?] *points chopsticks up facing me* Read between the fucking lines. [Me: It's empty]
[Me: Bukkake is cold noodles with stuff on top of them.] What stuff? Women?
After I take them I will post them online. What else would I do with them? [Me: I hope you don't do that with your girlfriend's nude photos]
[Me on a transvestite who cannot go out in drag: Why doesn't he go to JB?] I think it's way too dangerous. If you go to JB in a BMW with Singapore plates. Dressed as a tranny.
She's my rubbish bin. [Me: I want a rubbish bin too.] No, she's mine!
[Me: What's your claim to fame?] [Someone: She does things with horses] That sounds very wrong.
[On my resting my head on someone's shoulder] They all very sweet, those two. [Someone: You didn't see him raping me]
[On a string of Mamee seasoning] However much I respect you, I thought you were bringing in a pack of condoms.
UD? I want to know what happened. [Me: Nothing happened.] Yah.
[On the NUS Engineering Western food uncle] I can't stand him, because he's more guai lan than me.
You burn through girls like you burn through modules. [Me: Girls burn through you like modules burn through you] [Someone: Okay, this is getting awkward] [Me: No, I'm enjoying it very much]
My hair is not that bad. [Me: But it's not that good either]
[Me on a fire alarm: I smell something burning] Maybe it's toast.
I've gained 2 kg since my relationship started. [Me: Why?] Because I'm pregnant.
[On SMU employment] Do you know why? The members of the Board of Directors have committed to hiring their graduates.
Vanaigrette (Vinaigrette)
Staffed Sea Cucumber in Homemade style (Stuffed)
Post ID: 592831916118762156
Thursday, July 16, 2009
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov
***
[NB: Due to a washing machine accident, 4 weeks of French quotes have been lost. But more will be forthcoming, so.]
Quotes:
[Written] Je ne mange pas de lunettes
En France, pour mon petit déjeuner, je mange du pain, du fromage de chèvre, et du Coca Cola.
Le passé composé... There are 6 past tenses in French. There are past tenses which the French do not use. Or do not use that often. They were used in the 18th century.
Sometimes I give a lecture... It takes 2 hours. I explain the mechanism of [the] accent.
I hear a lot of students. 'French language. So romantic. I feel very nice when I hear it'... Linguists have made it, so that it sounds very nice when pronounced... They have worked in such a way that it is not rough.
'J'ai perdu une douche'. You lost a shower. It's possible.
[On my objecting to 'Je suis Keiko'] You do not do poetry... Un peu romance.
I don't like to learn by hurt (heart)
[Me: So you can dîner dîner?] No. I understand your logic.
[On there being no word for supper] We don't have supper. It's linked to the season. When night falls at 5pm in the afternoon... During Winter and Fall people sleep earlier... When it is Summer... You eat something extra... and you eat an extra dessert later.
[On going beyond mono-syllabic responses] 'Tu aimes chocolat?' 'Oui' 'Tu habites à Bedok?' 'Non' How you want to learn French? Impossible.
[On leur petit amis] XXX, en générale, tu as payé ou il a payé? [XXX: Il payé] YYY, en générale, tu as payé ou il a payé? [YYY: Il payé] (Il a payé)
[On his outrageous French accent] I don't do it on purpose... Because I look Asian, there are some students who think there is something wrong with me. I'm not really French... If he's ang moh, people think it's a guarantee... 'If he's Asian, he has no French accent'
There's a stock exchange for flowers in Paris.
New York is very developed... You go to Oklahoma or Arizona, the No Man's Land.
There's always a bit of romance in the French video. I don't know why. They play with it, they juggle. (videos)
[On drilling] Passé composé with the verb avoir became for you such an easy thing... You never forget. I hope. At least not so early, not so easily.
[On il a -> a-t-il] Très simple. French language cheat a bit.
[On L'Académie française] You have to have a Nobel prize. Even if you have a Nobel prize, you need something on top of that... To be granted entry to the French Academy... Somebody who has written many books.
[On Devenir] Hulk... [Student: The green guy]... Devenir. [Me: Incredible?]
[Student: Je née mille neuf cent.] You look young... Who is your plastic surgeon. (Je suis née)
Tu as étudies à Saint Joseph Institution? [Student: Non! {Je ne suis pas} Garçon!]
XXX. [XXX: Shit...] Tu as née quel an? [XXX: Dix-neuf] Dux-neuf? Ooh la la.
XXX. [XXX: My god]. Ne 'my god'. 'Ahh!!!'
People tell me - French language is so romantic... 'Le français, son romantique'... Actually, *slight spit* I don't think so... it is pleasant to hear. It doesn't make the people romantic.
I always use this metaphor... You're in the year 1000, when nobody reads or writes. You're in this peaceful village... Suddenly, you have these strangers, when they come, they look so terrible, so fierce. The sound of their language is so crude... 'I'm scared of them'. The year 1000, nobody knows who is who. You hear their voice, their accent is rough... [You think that if the language sounds nice,] the people must be nice... Réalité... When you meet some high class British people *imitates accent* When they speak like this. 'These people, so arrogant'... You are influenced by the sound of the voice... That's why French people are so romantic, some British people are so high in the air.
La fête Nationale. En France, most of the people just want one more day to sleep... In the stadium, they just record. Every year they change one digit. It's the same.
[On La fête Nationale] Pas militaire... 'All our soldiers are strong!' No, no... Pas 'Oh! Wow!'... To show the strength of the country, it's not through the army. C'est obsolète... I hope there are no military people in this class. It's not a good image. If you go to the army, it means you cannot do anything else. [Me: *sotto voce* Sounds familiar] If you are a general, maybe you're a bit smart.
[On patriotism] Display French flags... Bien sûr, they are not my friends. I will try to avoid them... à Paris, you bring your little Singaporean flags, c'est bizarre... They disagree with this.
Who is it? [Student: Monsieur Claus] Le Père Noël... He still has a Finnish name, because he came from Finland... Santa Claus is not Finnish. He's American. Coming from Coca Cola.
In France, we have this sentence. If ever anyone asks you and you have to stay home... 'Je ne veux pas être une victime commerciale'
[Student: Restaurant Français. Au restaurant français] Avec un petit ami français? [Student: Oui] No wonder she loves French
Now I want to go bay'yond the meaning (beyond)
Elle me regarde. Nice... Elle me parle. Even better.
Téléphoner quelqu'un. En français, doesn't exist. If it exists, it's wrong.
[On l'impératif] It is not compulsory to have a strong tone of voice... If I say *soft voice* 'Oh, look at the bird outside', it is not a command... It is just a strong [piece of] advice.
Some students: 'Oui, oui, d'accord.' Le cour fini, 'Eh. Did you understand anything?'
[Me on 'Ne fumez pas': If you want to be rude, can you say... *writes* 'Ne fume pas'?] You can say something else also.
Slimming century (sanctuary)
[On 'no smoking'] To show to our teacher that we had started learning, we did this *adds a w*
L'esprit du contradiction... That's quite French... I would go further. It's very Latin... En Italie, en France, en Espagne, en Portugal... It's a national sport. Breaking the rules is good...C'est pourquoi les Anglais détestent les Français, détestent l'Italiens... Les Grecs détestent les Anglais... Je n'éxagère pas.
C'est important pour toi, Saint-Valentin? [Student: When is it?] She pretend not to know (pretends)
[On pronom objet direct et pronom objet indirect] Do not be terrified. It is much more simple than Chinese... You can do Chinese, you can do this.
[On regional accents and the proper prounciation of très bien] In Paris... If you want to pronounce it properly, people will ask you, 'Do you come from the countryside?]... If you go to Canada, people speak... Old French.
Immigrants tend to be very conservative in their roots... Although it is a Muslim country, the Chinese people in Malaysia are very keen in their roots (about)
You look like an office worker. [Me: That's because I *am* an office worker]
[On speaking Japanese in school] It's a good way of ostracising all the China freaks who hate Japan because of what happened long ago. [Me: I thought PRCs don't go to ACS] They don't. These are Singaporeans... They call us disloyal. [Me: Disloyal to what?... None of you were alive at the time]
[Teacher: Hier soir] I heard 'Jesus'
[Teacher on going for supper at Newton: Tu as payé deux cent dollar?] Gratuit. Je suis femme.
Maman jour. [Teacher: La fête des Mères]
[Teacher: Ça va?] Okay.
[Student 1: Quelle est ton problème] I want to be healthy [Teacher: *Points to 'Je suis trop grosse'*]... Je bois l'alcool. De vin. [Teacher: De vodka.] De vodka. [Teacher: De whiskey] De whiskey. Everything.
Je neh'm pas (n'aime)
***
[NB: Due to a washing machine accident, 4 weeks of French quotes have been lost. But more will be forthcoming, so.]
Quotes:
[Written] Je ne mange pas de lunettes
En France, pour mon petit déjeuner, je mange du pain, du fromage de chèvre, et du Coca Cola.
Le passé composé... There are 6 past tenses in French. There are past tenses which the French do not use. Or do not use that often. They were used in the 18th century.
Sometimes I give a lecture... It takes 2 hours. I explain the mechanism of [the] accent.
I hear a lot of students. 'French language. So romantic. I feel very nice when I hear it'... Linguists have made it, so that it sounds very nice when pronounced... They have worked in such a way that it is not rough.
'J'ai perdu une douche'. You lost a shower. It's possible.
[On my objecting to 'Je suis Keiko'] You do not do poetry... Un peu romance.
I don't like to learn by hurt (heart)
[Me: So you can dîner dîner?] No. I understand your logic.
[On there being no word for supper] We don't have supper. It's linked to the season. When night falls at 5pm in the afternoon... During Winter and Fall people sleep earlier... When it is Summer... You eat something extra... and you eat an extra dessert later.
[On going beyond mono-syllabic responses] 'Tu aimes chocolat?' 'Oui' 'Tu habites à Bedok?' 'Non' How you want to learn French? Impossible.
[On leur petit amis] XXX, en générale, tu as payé ou il a payé? [XXX: Il payé] YYY, en générale, tu as payé ou il a payé? [YYY: Il payé] (Il a payé)
[On his outrageous French accent] I don't do it on purpose... Because I look Asian, there are some students who think there is something wrong with me. I'm not really French... If he's ang moh, people think it's a guarantee... 'If he's Asian, he has no French accent'
There's a stock exchange for flowers in Paris.
New York is very developed... You go to Oklahoma or Arizona, the No Man's Land.
There's always a bit of romance in the French video. I don't know why. They play with it, they juggle. (videos)
[On drilling] Passé composé with the verb avoir became for you such an easy thing... You never forget. I hope. At least not so early, not so easily.
[On il a -> a-t-il] Très simple. French language cheat a bit.
[On L'Académie française] You have to have a Nobel prize. Even if you have a Nobel prize, you need something on top of that... To be granted entry to the French Academy... Somebody who has written many books.
[On Devenir] Hulk... [Student: The green guy]... Devenir. [Me: Incredible?]
[Student: Je née mille neuf cent.] You look young... Who is your plastic surgeon. (Je suis née)
Tu as étudies à Saint Joseph Institution? [Student: Non! {Je ne suis pas} Garçon!]
XXX. [XXX: Shit...] Tu as née quel an? [XXX: Dix-neuf] Dux-neuf? Ooh la la.
XXX. [XXX: My god]. Ne 'my god'. 'Ahh!!!'
People tell me - French language is so romantic... 'Le français, son romantique'... Actually, *slight spit* I don't think so... it is pleasant to hear. It doesn't make the people romantic.
I always use this metaphor... You're in the year 1000, when nobody reads or writes. You're in this peaceful village... Suddenly, you have these strangers, when they come, they look so terrible, so fierce. The sound of their language is so crude... 'I'm scared of them'. The year 1000, nobody knows who is who. You hear their voice, their accent is rough... [You think that if the language sounds nice,] the people must be nice... Réalité... When you meet some high class British people *imitates accent* When they speak like this. 'These people, so arrogant'... You are influenced by the sound of the voice... That's why French people are so romantic, some British people are so high in the air.
La fête Nationale. En France, most of the people just want one more day to sleep... In the stadium, they just record. Every year they change one digit. It's the same.
[On La fête Nationale] Pas militaire... 'All our soldiers are strong!' No, no... Pas 'Oh! Wow!'... To show the strength of the country, it's not through the army. C'est obsolète... I hope there are no military people in this class. It's not a good image. If you go to the army, it means you cannot do anything else. [Me: *sotto voce* Sounds familiar] If you are a general, maybe you're a bit smart.
[On patriotism] Display French flags... Bien sûr, they are not my friends. I will try to avoid them... à Paris, you bring your little Singaporean flags, c'est bizarre... They disagree with this.
Who is it? [Student: Monsieur Claus] Le Père Noël... He still has a Finnish name, because he came from Finland... Santa Claus is not Finnish. He's American. Coming from Coca Cola.
In France, we have this sentence. If ever anyone asks you and you have to stay home... 'Je ne veux pas être une victime commerciale'
[Student: Restaurant Français. Au restaurant français] Avec un petit ami français? [Student: Oui] No wonder she loves French
Now I want to go bay'yond the meaning (beyond)
Elle me regarde. Nice... Elle me parle. Even better.
Téléphoner quelqu'un. En français, doesn't exist. If it exists, it's wrong.
[On l'impératif] It is not compulsory to have a strong tone of voice... If I say *soft voice* 'Oh, look at the bird outside', it is not a command... It is just a strong [piece of] advice.
Some students: 'Oui, oui, d'accord.' Le cour fini, 'Eh. Did you understand anything?'
[Me on 'Ne fumez pas': If you want to be rude, can you say... *writes* 'Ne fume pas'?] You can say something else also.
Slimming century (sanctuary)
[On 'no smoking'] To show to our teacher that we had started learning, we did this *adds a w*
L'esprit du contradiction... That's quite French... I would go further. It's very Latin... En Italie, en France, en Espagne, en Portugal... It's a national sport. Breaking the rules is good...C'est pourquoi les Anglais détestent les Français, détestent l'Italiens... Les Grecs détestent les Anglais... Je n'éxagère pas.
C'est important pour toi, Saint-Valentin? [Student: When is it?] She pretend not to know (pretends)
[On pronom objet direct et pronom objet indirect] Do not be terrified. It is much more simple than Chinese... You can do Chinese, you can do this.
[On regional accents and the proper prounciation of très bien] In Paris... If you want to pronounce it properly, people will ask you, 'Do you come from the countryside?]... If you go to Canada, people speak... Old French.
Immigrants tend to be very conservative in their roots... Although it is a Muslim country, the Chinese people in Malaysia are very keen in their roots (about)
You look like an office worker. [Me: That's because I *am* an office worker]
[On speaking Japanese in school] It's a good way of ostracising all the China freaks who hate Japan because of what happened long ago. [Me: I thought PRCs don't go to ACS] They don't. These are Singaporeans... They call us disloyal. [Me: Disloyal to what?... None of you were alive at the time]
[Teacher: Hier soir] I heard 'Jesus'
[Teacher on going for supper at Newton: Tu as payé deux cent dollar?] Gratuit. Je suis femme.
Maman jour. [Teacher: La fête des Mères]
[Teacher: Ça va?] Okay.
[Student 1: Quelle est ton problème] I want to be healthy [Teacher: *Points to 'Je suis trop grosse'*]... Je bois l'alcool. De vin. [Teacher: De vodka.] De vodka. [Teacher: De whiskey] De whiskey. Everything.
Je neh'm pas (n'aime)
Post ID: 1339012757234620195
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
"I think Christian women are the most liberated women in the whole world. I love being under submission to my husband." - Tammy Faye Bakker
***
Quotes:
[On his relief teaching experience] Teaching is a good job for the boring and the simple-minded. Which is why women make great teachers.
We have the highest peacetime casualty rate of any airforce in the world. We love to crash our FA-18 Hornets into telephone poles in Sabah.
[On SOF] They all talk with their heads bobbing up and down and whispering
[On peer pressure] I teach this CHIJ girl. When her class cuts themselves, she cuts herself.
All girls are scheming. Point me [to] one girl who isn't scheming... We're like... Plan A. If not, Plan C... 'I just called her. I didn't do anything. She was standing in the pouring rain, I had to pick her up'. Fuck you.
My first year students, so innocent. From SCGS. Ask me - 'Why lit got so much porn?'... What is important in life? Sex and death.
[On John Dunn] I taught it for one whole year. I had a whole lot of fun.
[On Dance] The boys are more likely to succeed because they are more driven
I don't like a guy who spends so much time on his hair. [Me: You don't like guys who have better hair than you] Thanks
[Me on Oz: I've been there 6 times, and I might go a 7th this year] You've been there 6 times this year?
Is protein treatment sperms?... Yay! I'm so smart! *waves arms* (sperm)
We were saying, for the Oasis concert, the reason it was so short was they met some girls before the concert they wanted to bang.
[On cooking on exchange] I made myself fried rice one time and then I got food poisoning.
Berkeley students... They have this motivational speaker vibe... I'm idealistic. They're even worse.
MIT is damn slack... Your first year, all your modules [are] pass/fail... The best thing: you get 0 upon 100 for this module you get [a] B.
[On Greece] XXX described it as Malaysia... with Ang Mohs.
[On government tracking] There're people whose jobs is to read blogs? So fun.
[On me] Today he told me, what, he needs job stability. I asked him: 'Getting married ah?'
We asked for an intern. Me and my colleague proposed, we choose an intern with the same name as the boss.
[On email] I sent to my intern: 'Open for present'. [I put] work at the bottom.
[On Renci] The male assistant is more than a male assistant... [Me: They found porn on his computer] He was so traumatised
The COC saw me, he thought it was my second posting. Maybe I look too jaded.
[On being in public service] I realised I wasn't cut out to be a banker... There's more to life [Me: Like serving your country?]
[On public service] You're either the 马 or the 河马... MA, or High MA
There's no sacred ground. Later we'll talk about why some pple are more stuck up about opera than others.
We're so stuck up because we train so hard to get a piece of paper... If it's too easy... 'He's gone into musicals, death of a good musician'
[On the cost of staging an opera] First night, 350,000. Subsequent nights, 150,000... That's why we cant make money in the Arts. We need all of you to work hard and hold on to your jobs and give to the Arts.
Placido Domingo singing English, can die. Don't know what language it became.
***
Quotes:
[On his relief teaching experience] Teaching is a good job for the boring and the simple-minded. Which is why women make great teachers.
We have the highest peacetime casualty rate of any airforce in the world. We love to crash our FA-18 Hornets into telephone poles in Sabah.
[On SOF] They all talk with their heads bobbing up and down and whispering
[On peer pressure] I teach this CHIJ girl. When her class cuts themselves, she cuts herself.
All girls are scheming. Point me [to] one girl who isn't scheming... We're like... Plan A. If not, Plan C... 'I just called her. I didn't do anything. She was standing in the pouring rain, I had to pick her up'. Fuck you.
My first year students, so innocent. From SCGS. Ask me - 'Why lit got so much porn?'... What is important in life? Sex and death.
[On John Dunn] I taught it for one whole year. I had a whole lot of fun.
[On Dance] The boys are more likely to succeed because they are more driven
I don't like a guy who spends so much time on his hair. [Me: You don't like guys who have better hair than you] Thanks
[Me on Oz: I've been there 6 times, and I might go a 7th this year] You've been there 6 times this year?
Is protein treatment sperms?... Yay! I'm so smart! *waves arms* (sperm)
We were saying, for the Oasis concert, the reason it was so short was they met some girls before the concert they wanted to bang.
[On cooking on exchange] I made myself fried rice one time and then I got food poisoning.
Berkeley students... They have this motivational speaker vibe... I'm idealistic. They're even worse.
MIT is damn slack... Your first year, all your modules [are] pass/fail... The best thing: you get 0 upon 100 for this module you get [a] B.
[On Greece] XXX described it as Malaysia... with Ang Mohs.
[On government tracking] There're people whose jobs is to read blogs? So fun.
[On me] Today he told me, what, he needs job stability. I asked him: 'Getting married ah?'
We asked for an intern. Me and my colleague proposed, we choose an intern with the same name as the boss.
[On email] I sent to my intern: 'Open for present'. [I put] work at the bottom.
[On Renci] The male assistant is more than a male assistant... [Me: They found porn on his computer] He was so traumatised
The COC saw me, he thought it was my second posting. Maybe I look too jaded.
[On being in public service] I realised I wasn't cut out to be a banker... There's more to life [Me: Like serving your country?]
[On public service] You're either the 马 or the 河马... MA, or High MA
There's no sacred ground. Later we'll talk about why some pple are more stuck up about opera than others.
We're so stuck up because we train so hard to get a piece of paper... If it's too easy... 'He's gone into musicals, death of a good musician'
[On the cost of staging an opera] First night, 350,000. Subsequent nights, 150,000... That's why we cant make money in the Arts. We need all of you to work hard and hold on to your jobs and give to the Arts.
Placido Domingo singing English, can die. Don't know what language it became.
Post ID: 6971204024228709781
Saturday, May 02, 2009
"The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it." - Laurence J. Peter
***
Quotes:
[On 'teaching' and reading to each other] After your teacher finishes you will have a nice chance to take your revenge. Because she has to read to you now.
[On disputes] "C'est télé de ma mère!" Today, for the first time, we are promoting conflict.
Gabriel et Gabriel et Gabriel, the 3 Gs. The father's name is Gabriel, the director's name is Gabriel, the future son's name is also Gabriel.
There's no lift in the apartment... C'est bon pour la santé. It's good for health.
[On practicing French by talking to yourself] If you don't want to do it with a robot, you do it with a plant.
You all are English speakers. There is a French speaker, which is a little weaker. Be careful, don't develop a double personality... if you see some people at Orchard Road doing that, you know they are also students at Alliance... I want you to train your robot for next week. (who, split)
The best thing, about French is you see how it works when you are tired... When your system is giving up, how does your language hold up?... Conversation avec un homme fatigué... Conversation with a tired man, sometimes we want to talk to tired people.
Conversation avec une fille énergique. Salut! [Male student: Do I have to be a girl too?]
X... Xylophone. [Student: It's not in the book] When he said 'une fille publique', you didn't object... 'Give more'
Z [Student: Zebra] *All laugh* In French, we say Zèbre.
U. [Me: Une fille publique]... Une fille publique... 17th century term... We know where he gets his sources from. He's not happy with Taxi [the textbook]
[On à vélo] We also accept "en vélo". Because some people's bicycles are bigger.
[Student: Je vais à L'Alliance Française en voiture à Mama]... The Italian Big Mamma.
[Me: Je vais à la fac en ski] Which university is this? [Me: En Suisse] [Other student: Je vais à la cafeteria en roller] The dynamic team.
[On j'y but elle y] There's no contraction. It makes the language more interesting.
[On La Francophonie] Deux cent million... Even though there are: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six. 6 of you are very important in the community of 200 million people.
French is popular in Asia, useful in America and important in Europe.
There's a joke in French. 'Bonjour. Je m'appelle Jacques'... 'It's not your fault'
J'habite à Grand Château
Le principal is the English system... In France it's le proviseur. They won't understand le principal in France.
L'armoire. We have to be careful. Le morte is the dead. La mort is death. L'amour is love. All of these can be related to a cupboard.
Deuxième, troisième, quatrième. [Student 1: cinquième] Next. [Student 2: sixième] Next. [Student 3: septième] Then. [Student 4: huitième] [Student 5: neuvième] [Student 6: Vingtième]
[On sentence matching] 'I'm looking for a hotel in Bordeaux.' 'Go to Montmartre'... What do I know? Maybe there's a very good hotel agent in Paris.
There's no air-conditioning in your room. Maybe you want to take a taxi.
[On directions and confidence] If you're a travel agent, you cannot sound like you yourself are looking for the way.
After the test, you have one week of holidays. We have prepared a set of activities for you, so you don't forget French. [Student: Watch movie?] No, that's something you do with your Belgian girlfriend (reference to his earlier sentence making). We do not want to interfere.
[On the test] We don't want any SMS support. Our school system checks the toilets for secret devices... Make an IDD call to France for answers.
The conversation between X and Y did not sound like 2 people talking about the cinema and talking about Juliette Binoche. It sounded like 2 persons talking at the ICU... 'Next week they will remove all my bandages'
***
Quotes:
[On 'teaching' and reading to each other] After your teacher finishes you will have a nice chance to take your revenge. Because she has to read to you now.
[On disputes] "C'est télé de ma mère!" Today, for the first time, we are promoting conflict.
Gabriel et Gabriel et Gabriel, the 3 Gs. The father's name is Gabriel, the director's name is Gabriel, the future son's name is also Gabriel.
There's no lift in the apartment... C'est bon pour la santé. It's good for health.
[On practicing French by talking to yourself] If you don't want to do it with a robot, you do it with a plant.
You all are English speakers. There is a French speaker, which is a little weaker. Be careful, don't develop a double personality... if you see some people at Orchard Road doing that, you know they are also students at Alliance... I want you to train your robot for next week. (who, split)
The best thing, about French is you see how it works when you are tired... When your system is giving up, how does your language hold up?... Conversation avec un homme fatigué... Conversation with a tired man, sometimes we want to talk to tired people.
Conversation avec une fille énergique. Salut! [Male student: Do I have to be a girl too?]
X... Xylophone. [Student: It's not in the book] When he said 'une fille publique', you didn't object... 'Give more'
Z [Student: Zebra] *All laugh* In French, we say Zèbre.
U. [Me: Une fille publique]... Une fille publique... 17th century term... We know where he gets his sources from. He's not happy with Taxi [the textbook]
[On à vélo] We also accept "en vélo". Because some people's bicycles are bigger.
[Student: Je vais à L'Alliance Française en voiture à Mama]... The Italian Big Mamma.
[Me: Je vais à la fac en ski] Which university is this? [Me: En Suisse] [Other student: Je vais à la cafeteria en roller] The dynamic team.
[On j'y but elle y] There's no contraction. It makes the language more interesting.
[On La Francophonie] Deux cent million... Even though there are: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six. 6 of you are very important in the community of 200 million people.
French is popular in Asia, useful in America and important in Europe.
There's a joke in French. 'Bonjour. Je m'appelle Jacques'... 'It's not your fault'
J'habite à Grand Château
Le principal is the English system... In France it's le proviseur. They won't understand le principal in France.
L'armoire. We have to be careful. Le morte is the dead. La mort is death. L'amour is love. All of these can be related to a cupboard.
Deuxième, troisième, quatrième. [Student 1: cinquième] Next. [Student 2: sixième] Next. [Student 3: septième] Then. [Student 4: huitième] [Student 5: neuvième] [Student 6: Vingtième]
[On sentence matching] 'I'm looking for a hotel in Bordeaux.' 'Go to Montmartre'... What do I know? Maybe there's a very good hotel agent in Paris.
There's no air-conditioning in your room. Maybe you want to take a taxi.
[On directions and confidence] If you're a travel agent, you cannot sound like you yourself are looking for the way.
After the test, you have one week of holidays. We have prepared a set of activities for you, so you don't forget French. [Student: Watch movie?] No, that's something you do with your Belgian girlfriend (reference to his earlier sentence making). We do not want to interfere.
[On the test] We don't want any SMS support. Our school system checks the toilets for secret devices... Make an IDD call to France for answers.
The conversation between X and Y did not sound like 2 people talking about the cinema and talking about Juliette Binoche. It sounded like 2 persons talking at the ICU... 'Next week they will remove all my bandages'
Post ID: 7234806725334249611
Monday, April 27, 2009
"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." - Dave Barry
***
Quotes:
They had a Hay'gern Daze vending machine (Haagen Dazs)
[On social sex like social drinking and smoking] It's what happens when you're married.
I met this Egyptian guy... 'The fruit of the vine is evil... The Holy Koran does not say one thing about Kentucky Bourbon, though. Cheers!'
[On my hair] It looks like a mix between pudding bowl and Spock
[Me: Your legs are very pale. You should get out more.] My everything is very pale. [Someone: Are you an Albino?]
[Me: Open you damn thing] I hope you don't say that to your wife on your first night.
Can you imagine being beheaded while being assraped?
I've never knowingly gone after someone I've known is attached. [Me: I'm very proud of you] [nw.t: He hasn't stopped going after a girl after he found out she was attached] Yeah. [Me: I'm slightly less proud of you]
[To me] Have you met Annabel Chong? You should go and hook up with her.
I don't like the Québécois. To me their French sounds ugly. [Me: I'm sure to them your French sounds ugly. Actually to the French in France your French might sound ugly too.]
Hello my jaded senior. [Me: Hi] I wasn't talking to you [Me: I'm jaded also] Hello my jaded seniors.
[Me: Why are groupies always girls?]... I think it's because girls are more bo liao. Only girls are susceptible to being insane.
9 guys streaked in Temasek... [Me: You always walk around with your towel right] It's different. I've never dropped it.
[On the guys doing most of the cooking and dishwashing] This is called female mate choice. The guys who do this aren't the ones who will get laid.
When girls get angry, just say 'I'm sorry'. [Someone: 'I'm sorry, I won't do it again'] 'I'm sorry' I will do it again
[On Kokomo] It's quite a nice song. [Me: It's the song for seducing women with. Is it working on you all?]
You know in Lexicology... I should do the Lexicology of Gabriel Seah.
My face is so dirty. *eats lettuce* [Someone: I thought you were going to rub it on your face]
[On brown sugar] What's the sugar made of? [Someone: Sugar]
Goosepimple effect. When a piece is really good. [Me: So transcendental? In your words, they need to get laid.] Band people have very high sex drive, let me tell you.
I like the fact that the men are in the kitchen. [Me: Yeah, Singaporean women are useless]
[On someone with a high voice] When he was young he fell into a vat of liquid helium
You look at ***, he looks like he has a bomb on him. Who will mug him?
Do a lot of girls throw themselves at guys? [Someone: Have you ever been thrown on, Gabriel?] (Has anyone ever thrown herself at you)
[Me: You all heard about the RGS girl and the test tube right?] [Someone: How can we be your friends for 3 years and not know about it?] I don't know [Someone else: You're weird] In Year 1 and Year 2 I was very innocent. [Me and Someone (2): Yeah right]
I think sex is not bad... In KR there was a gang. 'There's a guy masturbating in his room'... Some china guy.
[On a hall sex scandal] She was moaning... He was saying something like 'I want to conquer your hairless area'
[Me: What does the winner of the bet (to lose 2kg) get?] A free meal.
[Me: I'm very proud of myself. I ironed 4 shirts today.] I'm very proud of myself. the maid ironed 4 shirts for me today. Economics of specialization. My time is better spent masturbating and watching Heroes.
[Me: Learning dance is a great way to meet women] It's a great way to meet a certain type of women. [Me: Well, if you're not fussy...] In Singapore, you have to be fussy. Let's just say that.
In Physics, when you don't understand something, you invent something... Dark matter.
I've been through one Methodist institution. That's what made me atheist. I think the secret to making more people atheist is more Methodist institutions.
The weirdest are those soci people. In school, so anti-government, anti-government. When they come out, all join ministries. [Me: That's cos no one else will employ them] 'I want to change the system' (they all)
***
Quotes:
They had a Hay'gern Daze vending machine (Haagen Dazs)
[On social sex like social drinking and smoking] It's what happens when you're married.
I met this Egyptian guy... 'The fruit of the vine is evil... The Holy Koran does not say one thing about Kentucky Bourbon, though. Cheers!'
[On my hair] It looks like a mix between pudding bowl and Spock
[Me: Your legs are very pale. You should get out more.] My everything is very pale. [Someone: Are you an Albino?]
[Me: Open you damn thing] I hope you don't say that to your wife on your first night.
Can you imagine being beheaded while being assraped?
I've never knowingly gone after someone I've known is attached. [Me: I'm very proud of you] [nw.t: He hasn't stopped going after a girl after he found out she was attached] Yeah. [Me: I'm slightly less proud of you]
[To me] Have you met Annabel Chong? You should go and hook up with her.
I don't like the Québécois. To me their French sounds ugly. [Me: I'm sure to them your French sounds ugly. Actually to the French in France your French might sound ugly too.]
Hello my jaded senior. [Me: Hi] I wasn't talking to you [Me: I'm jaded also] Hello my jaded seniors.
[Me: Why are groupies always girls?]... I think it's because girls are more bo liao. Only girls are susceptible to being insane.
9 guys streaked in Temasek... [Me: You always walk around with your towel right] It's different. I've never dropped it.
[On the guys doing most of the cooking and dishwashing] This is called female mate choice. The guys who do this aren't the ones who will get laid.
When girls get angry, just say 'I'm sorry'. [Someone: 'I'm sorry, I won't do it again'] 'I'm sorry' I will do it again
[On Kokomo] It's quite a nice song. [Me: It's the song for seducing women with. Is it working on you all?]
You know in Lexicology... I should do the Lexicology of Gabriel Seah.
My face is so dirty. *eats lettuce* [Someone: I thought you were going to rub it on your face]
[On brown sugar] What's the sugar made of? [Someone: Sugar]
Goosepimple effect. When a piece is really good. [Me: So transcendental? In your words, they need to get laid.] Band people have very high sex drive, let me tell you.
I like the fact that the men are in the kitchen. [Me: Yeah, Singaporean women are useless]
[On someone with a high voice] When he was young he fell into a vat of liquid helium
You look at ***, he looks like he has a bomb on him. Who will mug him?
Do a lot of girls throw themselves at guys? [Someone: Have you ever been thrown on, Gabriel?] (Has anyone ever thrown herself at you)
[Me: You all heard about the RGS girl and the test tube right?] [Someone: How can we be your friends for 3 years and not know about it?] I don't know [Someone else: You're weird] In Year 1 and Year 2 I was very innocent. [Me and Someone (2): Yeah right]
I think sex is not bad... In KR there was a gang. 'There's a guy masturbating in his room'... Some china guy.
[On a hall sex scandal] She was moaning... He was saying something like 'I want to conquer your hairless area'
[Me: What does the winner of the bet (to lose 2kg) get?] A free meal.
[Me: I'm very proud of myself. I ironed 4 shirts today.] I'm very proud of myself. the maid ironed 4 shirts for me today. Economics of specialization. My time is better spent masturbating and watching Heroes.
[Me: Learning dance is a great way to meet women] It's a great way to meet a certain type of women. [Me: Well, if you're not fussy...] In Singapore, you have to be fussy. Let's just say that.
In Physics, when you don't understand something, you invent something... Dark matter.
I've been through one Methodist institution. That's what made me atheist. I think the secret to making more people atheist is more Methodist institutions.
The weirdest are those soci people. In school, so anti-government, anti-government. When they come out, all join ministries. [Me: That's cos no one else will employ them] 'I want to change the system' (they all)
Post ID: 4813223466186293259
Friday, April 24, 2009
"It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave." - Homer
***
Quotes:
You're the only person I know of in Singapore who I can disagree with and not piss off
A lot of what activists do in Singapore is just active civic participation in other places.
Ça va?... Only if you're feeling well, then the class will start. (We will only start the class if you're feeling alright)
[On choosing 1, 10, 100 or 1000] All of you have just declared how many words you want to say in français
[On thinking] In America they go 'err'. In France they go 'uhh'.
Parler... We are 'er' specialists.
Le Pull. This one *points to La Poule* is [a] live chicken. We still want to buy our sweater... We nearly started buying chicken[s] in that shop.
Look at all these good students, seated with their books. Today, we will cross the barrier, and go somewhere else. In our minds.
[On the only girl present] It is very rare at Alliance to have boys dominating... So we will exploit her.
It is better for you to have your break now. Because you are going to conjugate [later]
Un arbre... À droite est un petite maison... Petite means small. It can also mean pretty... I didn't say mini. Petite maison.
[On drawing] Un petit chien, un petite chat... If you cannot use either, here's another option: un petite kangourou... out of the 3, nobody should have a tiger or what.
We have some nice names for dogs. Milou. [Female student: So cute! *squeals*] Midor. Half gold, half wolf.
[On practice] I would like you to label items in your home environment... Find a way. Don't get chased out.
We have all worked very hard. ***, not so hard. Come up.
When you make a mistake about numbers, it's a nice observation, students always miss by 10. (with)
[On referring to the textbook] Le look pastoral... You have the Bible open.
[To me] Your second sentence... You have what we call FSS. Foreign Speech Syndrome.
[Student: J'ai deux voitures bleue. Paul est mon ami] There's a link. I have 2 cars. Paul is my friend. Maybe Paul gave me 1 car.
If you say "J'aime chemise", we will think someone's name is chemise. Hi chemise.
[On repeating a phrase fast] [On a marker] Throw the pen down and sharply say 'I love Classical Music'
[Student: Vous être jolie] Where is the passion?
[Student: Je peux aller des toilettes] You are able to go to the toilet. [Student: I want to go to the toilet]
[Me: J'air dix pomme de terre] You want us to be impressed by that?
***, you will speak English to her. But she will ignore your English and only reply to you in French. This will train your brain to ignore the English.
We ignored this hostile language called English. One will start in English. The other will reply in French. Then one replies in French. Then the other replies in French. It means English has been defeated.
I have a feeling that an ambulance is coming. Someone has been stabbed... he only has a few words left. 'Je. Parle. Français'.
[Student, choosing to initiate the conversation: Why're you so late?] *laughs from everyone* [To the partner:] You give him power [by letting him start]. But at least he went beyond 'hi'.
If you're going to France, you better buy this [eau de toilette]. You better not buy this [eau des toilettes].
In 3 examples you had 3 wrong points of emphasis. Je peux aller aux toilettes. I can go to the toilet. Je peux alles aux toilettes. I can do a lot of things, including going to the toilet. [Student: Can I say 'J'ai besoin aller aux toilettes?'] You already have 3 options, you want a 4th one. Next time just say 'Excusez moi. Les toilettes'
What is the difference between the vécés et des toilettes? We will not go into that now.
[Student: Combien ça fait?] Wow. You were trying to do [it] without looking at the book. [Student: I was looking at the board]
[On introducing self to classmates] Bonjour. [Other student: Bonjour] Au revoir... [Teacher: ***, why don't you start with the girls?]
Cette robe bleue avec ces chaussures? Hum hum. [Teacher: No, not hum hum. Mmm mmm.
[Me in labelling stuff at home in French: I think I'll label stuff in the office] Me too. [Me: Home is for resting]
[Me doing the 'ignore English' exercise: Je ne parle {pas} anglais] Too bad.
***
Quotes:
You're the only person I know of in Singapore who I can disagree with and not piss off
A lot of what activists do in Singapore is just active civic participation in other places.
Ça va?... Only if you're feeling well, then the class will start. (We will only start the class if you're feeling alright)
[On choosing 1, 10, 100 or 1000] All of you have just declared how many words you want to say in français
[On thinking] In America they go 'err'. In France they go 'uhh'.
Parler... We are 'er' specialists.
Le Pull. This one *points to La Poule* is [a] live chicken. We still want to buy our sweater... We nearly started buying chicken[s] in that shop.
Look at all these good students, seated with their books. Today, we will cross the barrier, and go somewhere else. In our minds.
[On the only girl present] It is very rare at Alliance to have boys dominating... So we will exploit her.
It is better for you to have your break now. Because you are going to conjugate [later]
Un arbre... À droite est un petite maison... Petite means small. It can also mean pretty... I didn't say mini. Petite maison.
[On drawing] Un petit chien, un petite chat... If you cannot use either, here's another option: un petite kangourou... out of the 3, nobody should have a tiger or what.
We have some nice names for dogs. Milou. [Female student: So cute! *squeals*] Midor. Half gold, half wolf.
[On practice] I would like you to label items in your home environment... Find a way. Don't get chased out.
We have all worked very hard. ***, not so hard. Come up.
When you make a mistake about numbers, it's a nice observation, students always miss by 10. (with)
[On referring to the textbook] Le look pastoral... You have the Bible open.
[To me] Your second sentence... You have what we call FSS. Foreign Speech Syndrome.
[Student: J'ai deux voitures bleue. Paul est mon ami] There's a link. I have 2 cars. Paul is my friend. Maybe Paul gave me 1 car.
If you say "J'aime chemise", we will think someone's name is chemise. Hi chemise.
[On repeating a phrase fast] [On a marker] Throw the pen down and sharply say 'I love Classical Music'
[Student: Vous être jolie] Where is the passion?
[Student: Je peux aller des toilettes] You are able to go to the toilet. [Student: I want to go to the toilet]
[Me: J'air dix pomme de terre] You want us to be impressed by that?
***, you will speak English to her. But she will ignore your English and only reply to you in French. This will train your brain to ignore the English.
We ignored this hostile language called English. One will start in English. The other will reply in French. Then one replies in French. Then the other replies in French. It means English has been defeated.
I have a feeling that an ambulance is coming. Someone has been stabbed... he only has a few words left. 'Je. Parle. Français'.
[Student, choosing to initiate the conversation: Why're you so late?] *laughs from everyone* [To the partner:] You give him power [by letting him start]. But at least he went beyond 'hi'.
If you're going to France, you better buy this [eau de toilette]. You better not buy this [eau des toilettes].
In 3 examples you had 3 wrong points of emphasis. Je peux aller aux toilettes. I can go to the toilet. Je peux alles aux toilettes. I can do a lot of things, including going to the toilet. [Student: Can I say 'J'ai besoin aller aux toilettes?'] You already have 3 options, you want a 4th one. Next time just say 'Excusez moi. Les toilettes'
What is the difference between the vécés et des toilettes? We will not go into that now.
[Student: Combien ça fait?] Wow. You were trying to do [it] without looking at the book. [Student: I was looking at the board]
[On introducing self to classmates] Bonjour. [Other student: Bonjour] Au revoir... [Teacher: ***, why don't you start with the girls?]
Cette robe bleue avec ces chaussures? Hum hum. [Teacher: No, not hum hum. Mmm mmm.
[Me in labelling stuff at home in French: I think I'll label stuff in the office] Me too. [Me: Home is for resting]
[Me doing the 'ignore English' exercise: Je ne parle {pas} anglais] Too bad.
Post ID: 4484254230739700000
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other." - Ann Landers
***
Quotes:
[Disclaimer: French transcriptions are less accurate than English ones]
Elle a quel âge? [Student: Dix-huit] Dix-huit potatoes?
[On French] You don't pronounce what you see. It's one of the rare language. Even in Asia... you pronounce all the letters (languages)
Sports are always masculine. [Me: What about netball?] [Student: That's a sport?] You always try to be.
[Student: How do we know which is masculine and which is feminine?] There's two answer I'm gonna tell you, ***. The first: 50/50. You try your luck (there're, answers, give)
Tu prefere la danse classique? La danse hip hop - yo?
[On speaking sensually] That's why you should continue. You can speak like a French poet, and charm all the ladies with your accent.
You can travel around the world without speaking a foreign language... You can become arrogant... Some French people wonder why you need to speak English... Travel to Asia, to Cambodia - though it is disappearing... I shouldn't say this, but it it a reality... I should praise France and [the] French Language all the time. I have to be objective (true)
The person who reintroduced the Olympic Games was French. He was a cheater, but he was French... He had a chauffeur for the marathon.
If you go to New England - Maine, Vermont... You can speak French. It is a recognised... a lot of people speak French. It is more difficult, or they think it is more difficult, than English. If you speak good French, 'You are an intellectual!'
[On a metric of development] The number of leave [days] you give to the people... The number of leave [days] you give to the people is 25, minimum. In my old company - 40. Only the rich country can afford this... In France, people just quarrel, argue over hairstyle. 'You take my gel this morning. I told you not to take my gel'... 'I didn't manage to buy my car. I'm so angry.'... This is a sign of [a] developed country (rich countries, hairstyles, took)
Even in Africa they can build a skyscraper of 80 floor... In France, people get angry if you call them during the mealtime at their company (storeys, their)
Moi aussi. What's moi aussi? [Student: Me too] Me too. Not me Australia. I've heard that before.
All the names finishing by I in Italy come from the North of Italy. Originally. (those with, ending with)
If you pass the test, you will get a certificate. And the certificate is not in chocolate. You can't eat it.
[On ACJC} Ton école mixed? Mixed ton prefer? 'Non.'
Tu jaime le photo? Le photo nature? Le photo Singapour? Le photo Monsieur [his name]?
Je père! I father. The French English.
[On why repeating lines doesn't work] RGS girl. Raffles Girls School girl. They have a little test. They introduce themselves very well. 'Son frère, sympa?' 'Huh?'
[On 'austriche'] There is no Ostrich Country.
Don't tell me 'okay okay'. Later, some student: 'You understand what he say?' (said)
Honestly, c'est difficile. If I have to speak Chinese I'll be dead already... I can't do the Chinese thing. All the 4 sounds [sound] the same.
In each country the cat doesn't meow the same way... It's strange... In French the cat speak[s] like this: 'Miaou!' In Singapore - 'Meow'... [You] can go further, it's very interesting actually. How does a dog bark in Singapore? [Student: 'Woof!']... If you go to Czechy... The dog[s] bark differently. [They] say 'Bawah'. C'est bizarre. In France - 'Ouaf' [Ed: Pronounced as Wah'f]... It sound according to the language we speak. The perception is different according to the language we speak naturally... Depends on where I am in the world. (How it sounds depends on)
How do you speak when someone hit or pinch you? [Student: Ouch!]... If you go to Orchard and hear 'Aïe!' [Ed: Pronounced 'Aye!'], French lah... If you hear 'Aouah!' [Ed: Pronounced 'Ow'wah] [Student: German] (shout, hits, pinches)
[On 'qu'est-ce que c'est'] Kids speak like this: 'C'est quoi?'... Kids internationally... In China, some Chinese, they speak to their children: 'Ba pao?'... It's definitely easier to say... If you want to speak like the kids, say 'c'est quoi?'
Watching cartoons when you learn a foreign language - not English cartoons of course... It is nothing shame (shameful)
[To a girl] Les fleurs de le fiancé? C'est bizarre. En France C'est possible... En Malaisie, c'est possible? [Student: *nods*]
You're too normal now, Gabriel. I don't want to talk to you and associate myself with you.
Qui est à ta droite? [Student: Nobody] La chaise. Bonjour!
[On il parle vs ils parlent] French or not French, it's impossible to tell the difference. If you tell me 'ill parlent' [Ed: Ils parlent], I'll know it's plural. And I'll also know you're not French.
[On linking the pronunciation of words] The link in the French language has not been made to make life difficult for the French learner
[On the feedback form] Those who stay with me in the class for the test, you know what to write.
[Teacher: Tu portes des lentilles?] I thought lentils.
[On what someone said about feeling blue] 'Le film de bleue'
[Teacher to someone wearing a white blouse: Tu aimes le blanc?] No
Tu aimes ma chemise? You can say no, I won't be offended... Just for her to be polite. 'Un peu'.
Je porte Jean au Orhn'dees *Writes 'Hang 10'* [Everyone: ORH!]
[On 'les baskets'] Sometimes the vocabulary is linked to social air'vent... In France, in the 70s... There weren't many choice of trainers. In the past, there were tennis shoes. In the past tennis was still super snob. You don't buy tennis shoes just like that... Most people bought basketball shoes (events, wasn't much choice in, snobbish)
For those I won't see again... A pleasure having you in my class. For the rest, you do Exercise Six. I [will] see you next week.
***
Quotes:
[Disclaimer: French transcriptions are less accurate than English ones]
Elle a quel âge? [Student: Dix-huit] Dix-huit potatoes?
[On French] You don't pronounce what you see. It's one of the rare language. Even in Asia... you pronounce all the letters (languages)
Sports are always masculine. [Me: What about netball?] [Student: That's a sport?] You always try to be.
[Student: How do we know which is masculine and which is feminine?] There's two answer I'm gonna tell you, ***. The first: 50/50. You try your luck (there're, answers, give)
Tu prefere la danse classique? La danse hip hop - yo?
[On speaking sensually] That's why you should continue. You can speak like a French poet, and charm all the ladies with your accent.
You can travel around the world without speaking a foreign language... You can become arrogant... Some French people wonder why you need to speak English... Travel to Asia, to Cambodia - though it is disappearing... I shouldn't say this, but it it a reality... I should praise France and [the] French Language all the time. I have to be objective (true)
The person who reintroduced the Olympic Games was French. He was a cheater, but he was French... He had a chauffeur for the marathon.
If you go to New England - Maine, Vermont... You can speak French. It is a recognised... a lot of people speak French. It is more difficult, or they think it is more difficult, than English. If you speak good French, 'You are an intellectual!'
[On a metric of development] The number of leave [days] you give to the people... The number of leave [days] you give to the people is 25, minimum. In my old company - 40. Only the rich country can afford this... In France, people just quarrel, argue over hairstyle. 'You take my gel this morning. I told you not to take my gel'... 'I didn't manage to buy my car. I'm so angry.'... This is a sign of [a] developed country (rich countries, hairstyles, took)
Even in Africa they can build a skyscraper of 80 floor... In France, people get angry if you call them during the mealtime at their company (storeys, their)
Moi aussi. What's moi aussi? [Student: Me too] Me too. Not me Australia. I've heard that before.
All the names finishing by I in Italy come from the North of Italy. Originally. (those with, ending with)
If you pass the test, you will get a certificate. And the certificate is not in chocolate. You can't eat it.
[On ACJC} Ton école mixed? Mixed ton prefer? 'Non.'
Tu jaime le photo? Le photo nature? Le photo Singapour? Le photo Monsieur [his name]?
Je père! I father. The French English.
[On why repeating lines doesn't work] RGS girl. Raffles Girls School girl. They have a little test. They introduce themselves very well. 'Son frère, sympa?' 'Huh?'
[On 'austriche'] There is no Ostrich Country.
Don't tell me 'okay okay'. Later, some student: 'You understand what he say?' (said)
Honestly, c'est difficile. If I have to speak Chinese I'll be dead already... I can't do the Chinese thing. All the 4 sounds [sound] the same.
In each country the cat doesn't meow the same way... It's strange... In French the cat speak[s] like this: 'Miaou!' In Singapore - 'Meow'... [You] can go further, it's very interesting actually. How does a dog bark in Singapore? [Student: 'Woof!']... If you go to Czechy... The dog[s] bark differently. [They] say 'Bawah'. C'est bizarre. In France - 'Ouaf' [Ed: Pronounced as Wah'f]... It sound according to the language we speak. The perception is different according to the language we speak naturally... Depends on where I am in the world. (How it sounds depends on)
How do you speak when someone hit or pinch you? [Student: Ouch!]... If you go to Orchard and hear 'Aïe!' [Ed: Pronounced 'Aye!'], French lah... If you hear 'Aouah!' [Ed: Pronounced 'Ow'wah] [Student: German] (shout, hits, pinches)
[On 'qu'est-ce que c'est'] Kids speak like this: 'C'est quoi?'... Kids internationally... In China, some Chinese, they speak to their children: 'Ba pao?'... It's definitely easier to say... If you want to speak like the kids, say 'c'est quoi?'
Watching cartoons when you learn a foreign language - not English cartoons of course... It is nothing shame (shameful)
[To a girl] Les fleurs de le fiancé? C'est bizarre. En France C'est possible... En Malaisie, c'est possible? [Student: *nods*]
You're too normal now, Gabriel. I don't want to talk to you and associate myself with you.
Qui est à ta droite? [Student: Nobody] La chaise. Bonjour!
[On il parle vs ils parlent] French or not French, it's impossible to tell the difference. If you tell me 'ill parlent' [Ed: Ils parlent], I'll know it's plural. And I'll also know you're not French.
[On linking the pronunciation of words] The link in the French language has not been made to make life difficult for the French learner
[On the feedback form] Those who stay with me in the class for the test, you know what to write.
[Teacher: Tu portes des lentilles?] I thought lentils.
[On what someone said about feeling blue] 'Le film de bleue'
[Teacher to someone wearing a white blouse: Tu aimes le blanc?] No
Tu aimes ma chemise? You can say no, I won't be offended... Just for her to be polite. 'Un peu'.
Je porte Jean au Orhn'dees *Writes 'Hang 10'* [Everyone: ORH!]
[On 'les baskets'] Sometimes the vocabulary is linked to social air'vent... In France, in the 70s... There weren't many choice of trainers. In the past, there were tennis shoes. In the past tennis was still super snob. You don't buy tennis shoes just like that... Most people bought basketball shoes (events, wasn't much choice in, snobbish)
For those I won't see again... A pleasure having you in my class. For the rest, you do Exercise Six. I [will] see you next week.
Post ID: 8046997458053199783
Sunday, March 01, 2009
"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist." - Harrison Ford, as Indiana Jones
***
Quotes:
[On her facial allergic reaction] It started in November. [Me: No wonder you haven't been posting photos since then.]
[On her flavoured condoms] You should try the mint one. [Me: What do you want me to do? Put it on my finger and- *mimes*]
I really can't recognise you. [Me: Sometimes I can't recognise myself]
How do females have oral sex without getting STDs? [Me: Dental Dam. *Demonstrates*] *Screams*
[On the reason for flavoured condoms] I never knew people gave oral sex with condoms on. I'm blown away by it.
If you were a boy you could bunk with me... [Someone else on declining even if he'd been open to it: I'm tired of sharing beds]... You're not sharing my bed.
Go and try you-duhs, not bad. (Udders)
[On Slumdog Millionaire] The gameshow host proves what your friend said about asking for directions in India... Even Indians have told me that
I told you about Jailbird's Valentine's Day plan right (Jailbait)
What did you do during NS? [Me: Suffer]
[To several girls at different times] Honesty is the greatest gift I can give you.
[On a dead goldfish being eaten by other fish] Oh my god, his eyeball is eaten out already. [Someone: That's why people like to eat the eyeball.]
Natalie, the one with a blog. [Someone: A lot of people have a blog] Yeah, the one with a blog... [Someone: The one who stage manages in a cheongsam]
How did she meet her husband? [Me: Myspace] [Someone: Better than Lucky Plaza]
Ask him to wake up at 4am and- [Someone: '放风筝' {Ed: Fly someone's kite}] [Someone else: It sounds nicer in Chinese]
[On a C-cup girl in a group phoot] The face very big right? [Someone else: Not just the face]
So if your dog mauls another dog, you pay [Someone: Yeah lah.] So it's like car insurance.
[Attached girl on Lohei] 快点结婚 [Ed: Get married quickly]
[On someone who delivered 2.5 years ago] Is she the pregnant girl?
What's she doing at IRAS? [Someone: Working lah]
[Me: Suria] What does it mean in Malay? [Someone: TV 3]
[On steamboar fishing net and induction cookier] XXX, can you hold it? Otherwise it'll vibrate. [Someone: Does it massage also?]
[On Committee of Supply] You guys are not on Standby? [Someone: What, in case of riots?]
I'm going for a Brazilian later. You're the only guy I feel comfortable telling.
[Teacher: Est étudiante?] I am a pigeon?
[Student on a + la -> en: You don't say 'Allah'.] No, never. You can, but it's wrong.
learn friend language (a foreign)
Idealistically I wake you up in the morning, 2 o'clock. Est sympa?... It's in you. (ideally)
Mas Selamat, il est sympa?
[Student: Il est étudiante.] He's half a man.
I knew a French guy... In Houston, we went to the supermarket together... Very strong French accent... He was looking [at] items, he said to the lady: "Allo, do you have ah'mer?... Your supermarket, you don't have ah'mer? It's incredible"... In French you never pronounce the H... He was looking for ham.
[On NTU professors] They tell me... Some Singaporean students who are good at calculation, they are not good at imagination. They often say Singaporean students have no imagination... In France, the teacher have to develop the imagination of the children... Psychologists have done studies of the children... It's not because I'm in a good mood, or I'm the Minister of Education... It has been proven in a lot of studies... If you don't develop it when you are small, you cannot catch up. That is why the school in France push children to develop their imagination (has, schools, imaginations)
[On learning languages] If you are very certain, and you think this is this, it's not possible... Many vocabulary, you will never find in the dictionary
I try to give you advices (advice)
Claudia habite à Vienne en Ostrich (Autriche)
[Teacher on Fred Vargas: It's from Portugal] That's a man's name. [Me: Not in Portugal]
[On being a Public, not Civil servant] Ministries versus stat boards. And I don't get discounts at Aloha.
Singaporean girls dress better than Malaysian girls, in general.
Ça va bien? Très bien. Let's stay positive, otherwise, it is not very nice... Bien; bien, merci; oui; merci; fantastique; super
[On 'tu as'] Next week I will hear 'Tuas'
[Student: If it's a couple: one man, one woman, what do you call them?] I'm sorry, it's like the Chinese. So unfair. Voisins.
If you understand everything at one shot, in your life, you'll have nothing to do.
Les parents et leur enfant. How many parents? [Me: At least 2... France is a very liberal place]
You tend to, and it is natural, to improve in your own language when you learn a foreign language. Because you make comparisons.
When I first came to Singapore, I was impressed that people in Singapore could remember the phone numbers at the first try. In France, no one can do it... They have 10 digits all the time... They have a length limit. After a certain number, you don't make the effort anymore.
***
Quotes:
[On her facial allergic reaction] It started in November. [Me: No wonder you haven't been posting photos since then.]
[On her flavoured condoms] You should try the mint one. [Me: What do you want me to do? Put it on my finger and- *mimes*]
I really can't recognise you. [Me: Sometimes I can't recognise myself]
How do females have oral sex without getting STDs? [Me: Dental Dam. *Demonstrates*] *Screams*
[On the reason for flavoured condoms] I never knew people gave oral sex with condoms on. I'm blown away by it.
If you were a boy you could bunk with me... [Someone else on declining even if he'd been open to it: I'm tired of sharing beds]... You're not sharing my bed.
Go and try you-duhs, not bad. (Udders)
[On Slumdog Millionaire] The gameshow host proves what your friend said about asking for directions in India... Even Indians have told me that
I told you about Jailbird's Valentine's Day plan right (Jailbait)
What did you do during NS? [Me: Suffer]
[To several girls at different times] Honesty is the greatest gift I can give you.
[On a dead goldfish being eaten by other fish] Oh my god, his eyeball is eaten out already. [Someone: That's why people like to eat the eyeball.]
Natalie, the one with a blog. [Someone: A lot of people have a blog] Yeah, the one with a blog... [Someone: The one who stage manages in a cheongsam]
How did she meet her husband? [Me: Myspace] [Someone: Better than Lucky Plaza]
Ask him to wake up at 4am and- [Someone: '放风筝' {Ed: Fly someone's kite}] [Someone else: It sounds nicer in Chinese]
[On a C-cup girl in a group phoot] The face very big right? [Someone else: Not just the face]
So if your dog mauls another dog, you pay [Someone: Yeah lah.] So it's like car insurance.
[Attached girl on Lohei] 快点结婚 [Ed: Get married quickly]
[On someone who delivered 2.5 years ago] Is she the pregnant girl?
What's she doing at IRAS? [Someone: Working lah]
[Me: Suria] What does it mean in Malay? [Someone: TV 3]
[On steamboar fishing net and induction cookier] XXX, can you hold it? Otherwise it'll vibrate. [Someone: Does it massage also?]
[On Committee of Supply] You guys are not on Standby? [Someone: What, in case of riots?]
I'm going for a Brazilian later. You're the only guy I feel comfortable telling.
[Teacher: Est étudiante?] I am a pigeon?
[Student on a + la -> en: You don't say 'Allah'.] No, never. You can, but it's wrong.
learn friend language (a foreign)
Idealistically I wake you up in the morning, 2 o'clock. Est sympa?... It's in you. (ideally)
Mas Selamat, il est sympa?
[Student: Il est étudiante.] He's half a man.
I knew a French guy... In Houston, we went to the supermarket together... Very strong French accent... He was looking [at] items, he said to the lady: "Allo, do you have ah'mer?... Your supermarket, you don't have ah'mer? It's incredible"... In French you never pronounce the H... He was looking for ham.
[On NTU professors] They tell me... Some Singaporean students who are good at calculation, they are not good at imagination. They often say Singaporean students have no imagination... In France, the teacher have to develop the imagination of the children... Psychologists have done studies of the children... It's not because I'm in a good mood, or I'm the Minister of Education... It has been proven in a lot of studies... If you don't develop it when you are small, you cannot catch up. That is why the school in France push children to develop their imagination (has, schools, imaginations)
[On learning languages] If you are very certain, and you think this is this, it's not possible... Many vocabulary, you will never find in the dictionary
I try to give you advices (advice)
Claudia habite à Vienne en Ostrich (Autriche)
[Teacher on Fred Vargas: It's from Portugal] That's a man's name. [Me: Not in Portugal]
[On being a Public, not Civil servant] Ministries versus stat boards. And I don't get discounts at Aloha.
Singaporean girls dress better than Malaysian girls, in general.
Ça va bien? Très bien. Let's stay positive, otherwise, it is not very nice... Bien; bien, merci; oui; merci; fantastique; super
[On 'tu as'] Next week I will hear 'Tuas'
[Student: If it's a couple: one man, one woman, what do you call them?] I'm sorry, it's like the Chinese. So unfair. Voisins.
If you understand everything at one shot, in your life, you'll have nothing to do.
Les parents et leur enfant. How many parents? [Me: At least 2... France is a very liberal place]
You tend to, and it is natural, to improve in your own language when you learn a foreign language. Because you make comparisons.
When I first came to Singapore, I was impressed that people in Singapore could remember the phone numbers at the first try. In France, no one can do it... They have 10 digits all the time... They have a length limit. After a certain number, you don't make the effort anymore.
Post ID: 2651346629576425805
Saturday, February 21, 2009
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." - Herman Wouk
***
Quotes:
[On Davidoff cigarettes] Dandruff
[Someone: What's Qui Tacet?] Silence means consent [Someone else: ... I'm not talking about age] Gag them before you...
[On Wesley] They have something called the Fuck Truck. It's the bus that goes to Harvard.
The Malaysian microwave oven... When I first moved into hall... When the Malaysian girl put the egg in the microwave oven, she put 15 minutes. It literally exploded. Even when you boil an egg you don't put 15 minutes.
Tell him about the Taiwanese night market. [nw.t: Fuck lah, there were more hot chicks than in the club.]
Where else would I be on New Year's Eve if not with my closest friends? [Someone: Geylang]
Can I join? [Me: You're not desperate what] [nw.t: And you're not a gentleman]
Girls are only for 2 things. One: For sex. Two: For more sex.
If you're good enough friends with an Eskimo, he'll let you fuck his wife.
[On gendered nouns and how the word sounds] In Italy, In France, 90% of the people who wear 'Ellesse' are women
Shopping is a speciality in Singapore
[Student: What do I do?] You spell your name. [Student: U M A] No. No. You spell it in French.
[On the full spelling of her Indian name] I forgot how to spell my father's name
Why French? My fiance is French
[On French] The pronunciation doesn't follow any logic... You can be as smart as you want [but it won't help].
When I first arrived, came to Singapore... The first time I had a class, I asked 'who is Angie'? (Ng)
When you learn the friend language (foreign)
[On 70] Now the serious thing start. 69 (things start)
[On recognising numbers] Usually I hear '86'. This is the first time [I hear]: 'caramel'
Many troubles and kerr'lair'mer'tais (calamities)
[Teacher: C'est ton nom ou ton premon?] Sounds the same
[Teacher on determining masculin or féminin: What did you hear?] I don't know. I look out for the 'il est' only.
I think it was *** who said 'Bonsoir' [Ed: Good evening] then I nearly fell.
[On why island nations have no gender] They are not French colonies?
[On sexism in language and plurals] It's unfair, I know. Elles sont. Only girls
ar'tuh'ree'sees (arthritis)
I don't know if it happened to you. You call someone... It's a man or a woman? If a strong voice tells you 'Je suis française': you say 'Bonjour madame'... If a little voice says 'Je suis français', you say 'Bonjour monsieur' (weak)
[On going too fast] Latter, later. Not so many things at a time. Otherwise you stop after 2 weeks (later)
This has nothing to do with smartness (intelligence)
The pronunciation in French is very important. It would be a pity if you learn French for 1 year, and you go to France, and you speak French, and they say 'Do you speak English'
[On joining words together when pronouncing] It was to ee'd the pace of the conversation (aid)
If you fly the... airlines, they don't link the words... It is not a contest... The purpose is to speak slowly so all the passengers understand.
[On gender] [Tape: Je suis français] [Student: Both.] Both? I don't know if it's possible to be both. Well, today it's possible.
How do you know [the gender]? [Student: Jacques] Okay, but it's not enough.
I have to tell you, when a child in France starts learning French, of course he gets confused at the beginning... his learning process is only based on intuition... It takes them a few years. If you can learn it in 1 year, that is very good... If you, after 3 years, you still don't know the verb 'to be'... 4 years [and] you still don't know how to count till 10, I'll tell you nicely, 'Maybe you should learn another language'
[On not getting a language] Former French President Jacques Chirac. He was a very good student when he was young. He started learning Sri Lankan. Sri Lankan or Pakistani... He gave up, because he couldn't get it. He started learning Russian and he was excellent in Russian (Sinhala?, Urdu?)
Le professeur. Even if you are a woman... There is a difference between the written language and the verbal language. Verbal language, you can say whatever you want... Probably in 20 years 'La professeur' will be in the dictionary. The intellectuals are not the ones who make the language... The ones who make the language are the ones in the street
He's Bel'german, she's Bel'german (German)
[On exceptions to 98% of countries ending with E being feminine] In the French, countries can be masculin and féminin. With the exception of Mexique. Zaïre - I think some of you don't even know where it is (French, or)
If the President of US, or the President of China comes to France, he will be on TV. I have never seen the Prime Minister of anybody of Singapore on TV.
Chypre, Malte. Some French people don't know where it is (they are)
When people say 'L'Amérique' they refer to [the] US. They don't refer to Canada.
***
Quotes:
[On Davidoff cigarettes] Dandruff
[Someone: What's Qui Tacet?] Silence means consent [Someone else: ... I'm not talking about age] Gag them before you...
[On Wesley] They have something called the Fuck Truck. It's the bus that goes to Harvard.
The Malaysian microwave oven... When I first moved into hall... When the Malaysian girl put the egg in the microwave oven, she put 15 minutes. It literally exploded. Even when you boil an egg you don't put 15 minutes.
Tell him about the Taiwanese night market. [nw.t: Fuck lah, there were more hot chicks than in the club.]
Where else would I be on New Year's Eve if not with my closest friends? [Someone: Geylang]
Can I join? [Me: You're not desperate what] [nw.t: And you're not a gentleman]
Girls are only for 2 things. One: For sex. Two: For more sex.
If you're good enough friends with an Eskimo, he'll let you fuck his wife.
[On gendered nouns and how the word sounds] In Italy, In France, 90% of the people who wear 'Ellesse' are women
Shopping is a speciality in Singapore
[Student: What do I do?] You spell your name. [Student: U M A] No. No. You spell it in French.
[On the full spelling of her Indian name] I forgot how to spell my father's name
Why French? My fiance is French
[On French] The pronunciation doesn't follow any logic... You can be as smart as you want [but it won't help].
When I first arrived, came to Singapore... The first time I had a class, I asked 'who is Angie'? (Ng)
When you learn the friend language (foreign)
[On 70] Now the serious thing start. 69 (things start)
[On recognising numbers] Usually I hear '86'. This is the first time [I hear]: 'caramel'
Many troubles and kerr'lair'mer'tais (calamities)
[Teacher: C'est ton nom ou ton premon?] Sounds the same
[Teacher on determining masculin or féminin: What did you hear?] I don't know. I look out for the 'il est' only.
I think it was *** who said 'Bonsoir' [Ed: Good evening] then I nearly fell.
[On why island nations have no gender] They are not French colonies?
[On sexism in language and plurals] It's unfair, I know. Elles sont. Only girls
ar'tuh'ree'sees (arthritis)
I don't know if it happened to you. You call someone... It's a man or a woman? If a strong voice tells you 'Je suis française': you say 'Bonjour madame'... If a little voice says 'Je suis français', you say 'Bonjour monsieur' (weak)
[On going too fast] Latter, later. Not so many things at a time. Otherwise you stop after 2 weeks (later)
This has nothing to do with smartness (intelligence)
The pronunciation in French is very important. It would be a pity if you learn French for 1 year, and you go to France, and you speak French, and they say 'Do you speak English'
[On joining words together when pronouncing] It was to ee'd the pace of the conversation (aid)
If you fly the... airlines, they don't link the words... It is not a contest... The purpose is to speak slowly so all the passengers understand.
[On gender] [Tape: Je suis français] [Student: Both.] Both? I don't know if it's possible to be both. Well, today it's possible.
How do you know [the gender]? [Student: Jacques] Okay, but it's not enough.
I have to tell you, when a child in France starts learning French, of course he gets confused at the beginning... his learning process is only based on intuition... It takes them a few years. If you can learn it in 1 year, that is very good... If you, after 3 years, you still don't know the verb 'to be'... 4 years [and] you still don't know how to count till 10, I'll tell you nicely, 'Maybe you should learn another language'
[On not getting a language] Former French President Jacques Chirac. He was a very good student when he was young. He started learning Sri Lankan. Sri Lankan or Pakistani... He gave up, because he couldn't get it. He started learning Russian and he was excellent in Russian (Sinhala?, Urdu?)
Le professeur. Even if you are a woman... There is a difference between the written language and the verbal language. Verbal language, you can say whatever you want... Probably in 20 years 'La professeur' will be in the dictionary. The intellectuals are not the ones who make the language... The ones who make the language are the ones in the street
He's Bel'german, she's Bel'german (German)
[On exceptions to 98% of countries ending with E being feminine] In the French, countries can be masculin and féminin. With the exception of Mexique. Zaïre - I think some of you don't even know where it is (French, or)
If the President of US, or the President of China comes to France, he will be on TV. I have never seen the Prime Minister of anybody of Singapore on TV.
Chypre, Malte. Some French people don't know where it is (they are)
When people say 'L'Amérique' they refer to [the] US. They don't refer to Canada.
Post ID: 4736877623524247848
Thursday, February 05, 2009
"Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis" - Robert Heilbroner
***
Quotes:
[nw.t]'s judgment is pretty suspect. 'Face okay but quite good body'... He says that about every girl
He's been married for 35 years... 'Do you know what's the secret of a successful marriage? Lie. Lie lie lie all the way [Me: Women don't appreciate honesty]
[On a church pastor and tithing] He pissed off the church people. Asked his congregation not to give 10%... the church admin, so they kicked him out
[Me: Apparently he doesn't want to be known as 'The Cock' anymore] So what does he want to be known as? 'The Vagina'? I guess being a short vagina is better than being a short cock.
Motherfucker. Some people are just so rude.
Minutemaid Limade (Limeade)
[Cock on a receipt given to him: It is not inside my fucking wallet... It is] This is what Oxford teaches you... [Cock: It only happens when I'm with you guys... You distract me]
I don't know one good-looking girl from Nanyang.
Billy Bombers Holland Village. The Billy Bombers from hell. I vowed never to go back again. [Me: But the milkshakes are heavenly] That's the only reason I've been back
My friend went to DB for 1 week. He was on duty, he shit his pants, he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. He drove home to change, when he came back the Duty Officer saw him through the security camera.
She says she studies Science for an hour a day, and she still fails. I think she's a liar. All little girls are liars. [Me: Because they're training to-] Exactly... 'Honey, I have a headache'... I swear, man, little girls, they start really young. Little boys just beat each other up. Little girls... Just ignore her, leaving her emotionally scarred for life. Little girls are vicious, I tell you. You know who's their first victim? Daddy.
[On simple girls] Do they mean 'simple' or 'simpleton'?
[On NDU] The first guy Out-Of-Coursed before he even got in.
There's a note of despair in your voice whenever you talk about your soul
Do you think we should stop discussing you like a piece of livestock? [JB: I don't mind] [Me: I should quote this] [JB: Oh shit. Okay I mind]
I like to keep my room very clean and well-organised. That turns me on.
Perestroika... Dunman High. They used to very Communist... The discipline person was assassinated, which was a good thing.
I'm not interested in school anymore. I'm interested in housework... Which detergent to buy.
Full prof. He drives a Corolla. We asked him why. He showed us the Excel sheet. Stochastic modelling... 2nd order differential. All the matrices... It's cheaper... The cheapest is not 1.6 litre but 1.8
For those of you who know PGP, PGP is basically a prison. Sorry... [On a pilot project] You can go to ANY floor at ANY time you like
[On hitching a train in East of Eden] So you shouldn't complain when you take public transport
[On being suan-ed] What do you say to a Victoria's Secret girl who's bigger than you?
[On Hooters] Let's go there after I've gotten my implants, show them my breasts. Fuck natural.
[On Lord of the Rings] A movie about walking
So. is [nw.t] making a play for Jailbait?... If it was another guy I'd say they were just hanging out, but it's [nw.t]
[Me on dirt in Rebel Without A Cause: I thought he was gonna rub it on her boobs or something.] You watch too much porn.
[Me on Rebel Without A Cause] If you want to get a girl, get her boyfriend killed
[On Chinese in California vs Singapore] They look prettier, taller.
***
Quotes:
[nw.t]'s judgment is pretty suspect. 'Face okay but quite good body'... He says that about every girl
He's been married for 35 years... 'Do you know what's the secret of a successful marriage? Lie. Lie lie lie all the way [Me: Women don't appreciate honesty]
[On a church pastor and tithing] He pissed off the church people. Asked his congregation not to give 10%... the church admin, so they kicked him out
[Me: Apparently he doesn't want to be known as 'The Cock' anymore] So what does he want to be known as? 'The Vagina'? I guess being a short vagina is better than being a short cock.
Motherfucker. Some people are just so rude.
Minutemaid Limade (Limeade)
[Cock on a receipt given to him: It is not inside my fucking wallet... It is] This is what Oxford teaches you... [Cock: It only happens when I'm with you guys... You distract me]
I don't know one good-looking girl from Nanyang.
Billy Bombers Holland Village. The Billy Bombers from hell. I vowed never to go back again. [Me: But the milkshakes are heavenly] That's the only reason I've been back
My friend went to DB for 1 week. He was on duty, he shit his pants, he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. He drove home to change, when he came back the Duty Officer saw him through the security camera.
She says she studies Science for an hour a day, and she still fails. I think she's a liar. All little girls are liars. [Me: Because they're training to-] Exactly... 'Honey, I have a headache'... I swear, man, little girls, they start really young. Little boys just beat each other up. Little girls... Just ignore her, leaving her emotionally scarred for life. Little girls are vicious, I tell you. You know who's their first victim? Daddy.
[On simple girls] Do they mean 'simple' or 'simpleton'?
[On NDU] The first guy Out-Of-Coursed before he even got in.
There's a note of despair in your voice whenever you talk about your soul
Do you think we should stop discussing you like a piece of livestock? [JB: I don't mind] [Me: I should quote this] [JB: Oh shit. Okay I mind]
I like to keep my room very clean and well-organised. That turns me on.
Perestroika... Dunman High. They used to very Communist... The discipline person was assassinated, which was a good thing.
I'm not interested in school anymore. I'm interested in housework... Which detergent to buy.
Full prof. He drives a Corolla. We asked him why. He showed us the Excel sheet. Stochastic modelling... 2nd order differential. All the matrices... It's cheaper... The cheapest is not 1.6 litre but 1.8
For those of you who know PGP, PGP is basically a prison. Sorry... [On a pilot project] You can go to ANY floor at ANY time you like
[On hitching a train in East of Eden] So you shouldn't complain when you take public transport
[On being suan-ed] What do you say to a Victoria's Secret girl who's bigger than you?
[On Hooters] Let's go there after I've gotten my implants, show them my breasts. Fuck natural.
[On Lord of the Rings] A movie about walking
So. is [nw.t] making a play for Jailbait?... If it was another guy I'd say they were just hanging out, but it's [nw.t]
[Me on dirt in Rebel Without A Cause: I thought he was gonna rub it on her boobs or something.] You watch too much porn.
[Me on Rebel Without A Cause] If you want to get a girl, get her boyfriend killed
[On Chinese in California vs Singapore] They look prettier, taller.
Post ID: 5372291286712181941
Sunday, January 11, 2009
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch." - Michael Friedman
***
Quotes:
[On visiting the Bible Belt] Get raped and left in a ditch? [Someone: Go with XXX] [XXX: If they rape me, I'll rape back]
[On Malays and thinking long term] When they want to date, they're very chivalrous in a way. [Someone: Very creepy, in a way]
All the CH foods taste good. Chocolate, champagne, cakes, char kway teow.
[Me: I should dig up all the atas carols...] As long as it's not in English.
Is this from Peaberry and Pretzel? [Someone: I don't taste Peaberry]
You actually want long hair? [Me: What do you think I've been doing the past 4 years?] Making a huge mistake?
Do you agree with my statement? Men cna work with men, men can work with women, but women cannot work with women. [Girl 1: Yes, I agree] [Girl 2: Yes, it's true]
[Me: Why are you so focused on Banking and Consulting?] [Female Friend:] I'm not focused on Banking. I just want to do something I like. One of them is adult entertainment. [nw.t: Performing or production?]
I don't treat you as a female... I treat females as 1 of 2 things. 1: sex or 2: a means to get sex. [Someone: I look at men the same way] [Me and nw.t: Err...]
You don't have to believe in anything. I don't believe in anything, but I'm on one of the moss management board (mosque's, boards)
[On JB] Guess how old she is? [Someone: Too young for me.]
[Me on children: I believe in not bringing suffering into the world] Both of you can adopt a kid. [Me: Err, I don't want to bring suffering into -my- world.]
I thought he was gay. [Me: Was he?] I realised he was just French
[On his law firm and pupils] 'We prefer you to do individual research'. Individual research, so some girls went to read Twilight.
[On Facebook] I figured if you delete people, they will know. Because of this thing called 'People you may know'. Sooner or later you'll show up. You need to block them.
British girls are slags. They sleep with everyone. [Me: Do they sleep with you?] No
[On interracial dating] What are the implications of your theory? [Me: You're screwed lah]
There're 3 things you want a woman to be - a main in the parlor, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom... The maid you can hire, the cook you can hire, the whore you can hire. [Me: Might as well outsource, more efficient]
I hope he's doing her. [Me: Which part of 'Frigid' do you not understand?] I hope he's doing her.
Given French girls are hot, but it's too much bloody trouble. You have to learn the language... I spent 6 months learning French and one and a half years flirting
Gabriel doesn't look Singaporean. You look like you're from the Northern part of China, not the Southern part.
[On Singaporean lab culture] Even my lab culture sucks. I don't know how they can sit there for 12 hours and not talk to each other. Bunch of fucked up assholes... I go there at 10am in the morning to get my laptop. One guy there watching porn... 37 year old, married.
There are people talking about your penis on Facebook. [Me: Huh? How come I don't know?!]
[Me on Progressives: What does Awareness do?] It makes people depressed. And leads to fatigue.
[On Gandhi sleeping in between teenage girls] If they're like Engin girls, then not much self control.
[On a Japanese girl] You play Truth and Dare with her, everything come out (comes)
[On abstinence] This is a drinking game. You have to have a drink [in front of you], even if you're not drinking
[On a rabbit] He looks like a bowling ball
[On off wine] I'll drink it. It's alcohol. [Me: So is mouthwash]
***
Quotes:
[On visiting the Bible Belt] Get raped and left in a ditch? [Someone: Go with XXX] [XXX: If they rape me, I'll rape back]
[On Malays and thinking long term] When they want to date, they're very chivalrous in a way. [Someone: Very creepy, in a way]
All the CH foods taste good. Chocolate, champagne, cakes, char kway teow.
[Me: I should dig up all the atas carols...] As long as it's not in English.
Is this from Peaberry and Pretzel? [Someone: I don't taste Peaberry]
You actually want long hair? [Me: What do you think I've been doing the past 4 years?] Making a huge mistake?
Do you agree with my statement? Men cna work with men, men can work with women, but women cannot work with women. [Girl 1: Yes, I agree] [Girl 2: Yes, it's true]
[Me: Why are you so focused on Banking and Consulting?] [Female Friend:] I'm not focused on Banking. I just want to do something I like. One of them is adult entertainment. [nw.t: Performing or production?]
I don't treat you as a female... I treat females as 1 of 2 things. 1: sex or 2: a means to get sex. [Someone: I look at men the same way] [Me and nw.t: Err...]
You don't have to believe in anything. I don't believe in anything, but I'm on one of the moss management board (mosque's, boards)
[On JB] Guess how old she is? [Someone: Too young for me.]
[Me on children: I believe in not bringing suffering into the world] Both of you can adopt a kid. [Me: Err, I don't want to bring suffering into -my- world.]
I thought he was gay. [Me: Was he?] I realised he was just French
[On his law firm and pupils] 'We prefer you to do individual research'. Individual research, so some girls went to read Twilight.
[On Facebook] I figured if you delete people, they will know. Because of this thing called 'People you may know'. Sooner or later you'll show up. You need to block them.
British girls are slags. They sleep with everyone. [Me: Do they sleep with you?] No
[On interracial dating] What are the implications of your theory? [Me: You're screwed lah]
There're 3 things you want a woman to be - a main in the parlor, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom... The maid you can hire, the cook you can hire, the whore you can hire. [Me: Might as well outsource, more efficient]
I hope he's doing her. [Me: Which part of 'Frigid' do you not understand?] I hope he's doing her.
Given French girls are hot, but it's too much bloody trouble. You have to learn the language... I spent 6 months learning French and one and a half years flirting
Gabriel doesn't look Singaporean. You look like you're from the Northern part of China, not the Southern part.
[On Singaporean lab culture] Even my lab culture sucks. I don't know how they can sit there for 12 hours and not talk to each other. Bunch of fucked up assholes... I go there at 10am in the morning to get my laptop. One guy there watching porn... 37 year old, married.
There are people talking about your penis on Facebook. [Me: Huh? How come I don't know?!]
[Me on Progressives: What does Awareness do?] It makes people depressed. And leads to fatigue.
[On Gandhi sleeping in between teenage girls] If they're like Engin girls, then not much self control.
[On a Japanese girl] You play Truth and Dare with her, everything come out (comes)
[On abstinence] This is a drinking game. You have to have a drink [in front of you], even if you're not drinking
[On a rabbit] He looks like a bowling ball
[On off wine] I'll drink it. It's alcohol. [Me: So is mouthwash]
Post ID: 5767652525740953329
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