A friend's thoughts on Good Friday:

"seeing as today is a holiday of religious hooha, i will put forth some questions of utmost theological importance.
is it a good friday because jesus died?
who is the easter bunny?
why chocolate eggs?
did rabbits come from eggs?
did jesus look like a rabbit?
or maybe he liked eggs?
or chocolate?
did they even have chocolate back then?
you know, it sucks to be jesus, really. i mean, your dad's this whole control freak with anger management issues. your mum's got no sexual education knowledge to pass down, and she's got this other husband who's also kind of like your dad. but your real dad isn't into the commitment thing and your other human dad is so totally insignificant.

then you go to earth to be friendly and all that crap then people throw stones at you. and you can't even get any from mary magdalene who's probably the closest you ever got to a girlfriend. then all these people come and try to make you multiply bread like it's your only talent. i mean, nobody cares about you ! then, of course, they nail you to a cross.

i mean, it's all fine and dandy to be grunge and goth and all but after you die all these people make horrible websites in your name like 1-800-hello-god and they make you all black and kinda homo looking just so you can be politically correct.

it could even be the same bastards who put hindu and buddhist gods in disgusting sexual positions and sell them as household decorations in hotel lobbies.

i'm probably the most anti-christian person this side of serangoon but give jesus a break lah. he's just an easygoing dude trying to avoid family troubles and subconscious insecurities by making more friends and being as useful as possible. so let's all give him a hug, you know, since he died today and all. sucks to be him.

Word of the day: "opsimath"

Had a conversation with Gabriel two nights ago. He called from Brunei; clearly the tedium of serving President and country in faraway lands must have been getting to him. His monotonous, deadpan voice betrayed cracks in his usually placid shell; the damage of ennui no doubt exacerbated by the absence of access to the Net for weeks on end. I shudder at the prospect; it's to be cut off from the world's true hivemind, fount of useless knowledge, catalyst of instant communication, and last haven for the socially dysfunctional.

At any rate, he exhorted me to resume blogging again.

"Entertain my audience," he said

Me: "Andrew's doing a game enough job of it in your absence."

And our conversation ended abruptly there.

The ironic thing is that in the last six months, quite a lot has happened - certainly enough to have actively blogged about as a form of catharsis. At the very least, it would have helped arrest the mental deterioration I seem to be slipping into these days.

The problem is, those events have either been:

a) The angsty, emotional melodrama stereotyped events that cause me to gag blood whenever I read their ilk on other people's blogs - suicide attempt, relationship soap opera, destructively masochistic tendencies, slide towards alcoholism, bipolar depression, lots of anti-heroic brooding (all one needs is a cape whipping around one's limbs while gazing melancholically into the face of a thunderstorm while standing on the edge of a precipice), lurid descriptions of lucid dreams, major angst about dead end job, pittance pay and psychotic boss, bemoaning social withdrawal and inability to relate to other human beings, blinding waves of rage and injustice at hearing about wanker poseur fucktard educational failures getting great jobs or making piles of money effortlessly, followed by bold resolve to better oneself through further education, psychological self-help, positive thinking and greater human interaction, followed by cyclical decline into depression again, yada yada, all interspersed with song lyrics chosen for their mood-empathic value.

And it would be dead embarrassing next to Gabriel's dryly entertaining stories about NS bureaucracy and beating off dogs with a stick. And his cool links.

b) The type that form a "cultural" or "political" or "daily observations around me news column" kind of blog. Examples would be events surrounding our recent election, commentary on how well traffic is now that the NPE is up, this great sup kambing place I discovered behind the Honda showroom off Jalan Pudu, or the latest business shenanigans surroundong Proton, or lambent observations regarding the EC's cock-ups, or just some odd tangential rant about something I read in The Star - or Malaysian net punditry's current favourite bugabear; the various Khidmat Negara (Malaysian National Service) scandals - like this one:

Ghostbusters called in to exorcise NS camps
1:05pm Thu Apr 8th, 2004

Ghostbusters were called in to exorcise spirits at a national service training camp after two groups of youths claiming to have seen ghosts became hysterical, a report said today.

On Sunday night, 13 girls and three boys at a camp in southern Negeri Sembilan state went berserk and started screaming that their toilets were haunted, the New Straits Times said. They were hospitalised and discharged the next day.

The perceived hauntings continued with another four girls becoming hysterical late Tuesday after claiming to have seen the same apparitions in the toilets, the daily said.

Faith healer Abu Bakar Hassan and his assistants were summoned from Kuala Lumpur, and a camp instructor told the newspaper that Abu Bakar had "caught the spirits and thrown them into the sea." The group also spent time "cleansing" the area, he said.

The instructor said all the affected girls were having their periods when they became hysterical. There are 508 trainees at the camp. - AFP

Menstruation. Always a great catalyst for the supernatural.

If any one wants to know what the Malaysian version of NS is like check here. It's not the total nightmare some of the opposition party demagogues make it out to be, but definitely it's not a three month OBS either.

Anyway, not entirely comfortable with becoming a "observations" or "politico" blog, mainly because that territory's been turfed out quite thoroughly by a variety of psuedo-intellectual liberals or rabid nationalistic types among the Malaysian blogs extant. And as uninhibited as I am about spewing my opinions, venom and vitriol in conversation, ICQ or even on the occasional newsboard, it feels.. unseemly to create another online ego shrine, whether it be of the "political awareness discussion group by people dissatisfied with the system seeking outlet for bitching" variety, or the cliched "bucolic life and all its attendant weirdnesses on the raw streets of KL from a urban professional's perspective." There are way too many sites dealing in this product, and a lot of weirdness to regale a reader with, but somehow to me, they would seem better told as a verbal anecdotes than as blog entries. But some of them are surprisingly good. (Check out this lotophagic here) Maybe it's just a subconscious sense of nicety - I've haven't really got anything to say, no sustained personal narrative of opinion that could keep a blog going; or maybe it's a certain embarrassed envy - knowing that I probably couldn't come up with anything better, so why bother.

Hm. After all that time, I've actually written a blog entry to explain why I don't (won't) blog regularly anymore. And that feeds my hypocrisy quota for the day. So I think I'll go back to answering questions on okcupid.com - I'm sure a 100% match is out there.

"Can't remember to forget you."

My sister's friend posted this cover letter while hunting for jobs:

"Dear Sir or Madam:

XXXX is a geek. We hate to admit it but all be it music or the latest gadgets, he loves them all. He spends his time reading up on articles like all those gizmos that we would normally not give the time of the day. Apparently he studied communications in university and spent time at Straits Times Interactive which he wrote and managed their web content. I guess that is rather geeky when he should have been out there doing something more 'macho'. Spoke to him sometime back and he claimed to be 'pop-culturally versed "GenX-er", inescapably immersed in the entertainment scene and the latest music and fashion trends', but seriously, he still wears his Weezer t-shirts out all the time. With someone like him, whose weakness is his CD collection and his iPod, I rather you not employ him. We been through that and sure do not want you to have to put up with his lousy sense of humor, his useless trivial, time reading up articles on the computer instead of porn and constant visits to the magazine store.

Sincerely,

Mum, Dad & Soon-to-be-Ex-Girlfriend"

The SOB managed to squeeze past over 2,000 applicants for a job at one of America's largest PR firms (S'pore office).

I'm torn between admiration and outrage.

Praise God! Doctor was okay with me not going down for clinical placement today. Hurrah for the juhasz's of the world!

Mussed around the firestation in the morning, took a nap till noon, did domestic chores and got myself to uni at 1.37pm to borrow the st. john's ambulance first aid handbook to have a read. Bumped into my dear coursemates there, accompanied them to city/lunch and did a few errands there... it says something of his values, his priorities when someone like G** just decides to forget spending his afternoon studying/playing/resting just to drive us around and have lunch with us and spend time with the likes of us... was incredibly touched by him.

Me? Every moment of my time is precious, and to be used wisely... as with everyone else. As important as they are, I don't want to use my coursework/commitments in uni (e.g. mandatory things like attending tutorials) to brush aside every other part of my life... as I have been doing for umpteen years. If i have been doing that, do come up to me and alert me of it.

Went to Luna park, st. kilda (the could-be-dodgy district with attitude, funk and great gelati) with some friends to watch a magic show- they're aiming to set a new guiness record for the world's longest magic show. It's to raise funds for the "brainwave centre" (neurological research/treatment centre) in the royal children's hospital- GO PAEDS!!!

I've got to wake up in 6 hours' time for tomorrow's programme. Have been assigned to a clinical placement with a general paractice in templestowe, but all the bus drivers in most of melbourne (i think) are on strike until 21 april, so the only viable way of getting to there from the city is to take a half-hour train to the nearest train station to that neighbourhood, and take a (very expensive) cab from the train station to the clinic. My senior (well he's a doctor now) recommended i call the doctor tomorrow morning, explain the situation to him and see if i don't have to go down. Think i'll do that (=.

Been reflecting (what's new? =P). And I realized that what Ravi Zecharias says is so true -
Meaningless does not come from being weary of pain/suffering, meaningless comes from being weary of pleasure... when after sampling pleasure after pleasure, you are left barren and empty.

1) Anything that refreshes you without distracting you from your ultimate goal is a legitimate pleasure.
And to know this makes things so much easier- once you know what your ultimate goal is.

2) Any pleasure that jeopardises the sacred right of another is an illicit pleasure.

3) Proverbs 25:16- if you find honey, eat just enough of it; too much, and you will vomit. And anyone, christian or buddhist, muslim or atheist, can attest to it. Any pleasure, however good, if not kept in balance, will distort reality or destroy appetite. Keep your life in balance- the best of sensual/emotional/intellectual pleasures will satisfy you the best for the short-term only.

and
1) Pleasure for pleasure's sake will leave you empty.-= must be a means, never an end to itself.
will fill in the rest tomrrow or later.

Back to a new week ... after two years in melbourne I have realized that I Like evenings at home. I take it as a luxury to be able to spend an evening lounging around, doing stuff, in the comfort of the knowledge that I don' t have to rush anything and nothing is further than 10 metres away from me (yes, my apartment is cosy-small). I don't hate spending nights out (and indeed in my first year i tried my best not to be at home any weekend night) but I appreciate the little things - cooking myself any dinner I feel like cooking, taking my time to wash up (i'm not sure my housemates appreciate that), opening up my books....

Quotation from a friend's blog:

"...Again, so what, now?

And all this in a stage whisper, you know, within the echo-y confines of your darkened room. It bothers me that I tend to agree, because what we're running from isn't hard work, but drudgery. We're the generation with the shortest attention span in history, and what we want are reasons to stay alive.

Because what we're trying to avoid isn't abject failure, but mediocrity.

So what're the promising children of tomorrow to do? Write about it in their blogs (how effing tragic)? Log on to Friendster and reassure themselves that they are deeply loved, 156 times over?"

I don't mind mediocrity... I would even look forward to a life like that, because there is security in such a life, and that is something I value. As long as my head is above the clouds, as long as my eyes are focussed on a point on the horizon, it doesn't matter if my feet are currently planted on mediocre ground I know I will finish somewhere in the distance, in my Canaan, in my promised land.