When you can't live without bananas

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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Links - 28th March 2024

Hello Lifestyle Australia winners furious with money still owing on prizes and Red Frogs unpaid - "A young woman who won her dream car in a charity raffle was left devastated after the vehicle was repossessed just months later.  Hairdresser Amelia Conway, from the Victorian town of Colac, was scrolling through Facebook when she stumbled across a raffle for a Widebody Y62 Nissan Patrol, worth at least $100,000 due to custom modifications.  The giveaway company, Hello Lifestyle Australia, promised the winner the fully-kitted out four-wheel drive with all on-road expenses paid... Hello Lifestyle Australia even flew Amelia and her sister up to Queensland from Victoria so they could collect their new car.  But when she returned home, Amelia had to spend about $1,000 to make the car roadworthy, despite Hello Lifestyle Australia promising all on-road costs would be covered.  One of Amelia's friends suggested that she do a Personal Property Securities Register check as the win seemed too good to be true.  A $2 search on the Personal Property Securities Register allows consumers to check if any money is still owing on their possessions.  When Amelia finished the check, she found the vehicle still had money owing... Then the worst happened, with a man showing up at her property at about 8pm last Wednesday to repossess the vehicle...  The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission said anyone buying a lottery ticket should check the lottery's permit number before entering   Several other lottery ticket purchasers left reviews online claiming the company wouldn't let them cancel their membership, while others simply described Hello Lifestyle Australia as 'dodgy'... It's understood the company has since closed, with all its social channels, email addresses and website now unavailable."

The government’s planned ‘anti-troll’ laws won’t help most victims of online trolling - "some experts, including myself, believe removing anonymity won’t fix online toxicity anyway. The other real issue, ironically enough, is one of user safety. Yes, online anonymity gives trolls a mask to hide behind, but it also allows people to access support for addiction or mental health issues, for example, or for a young LGBTQI+ person in fear of real-world violence or disapproval to find a community online. Online anonymity can be a crucial shield for victims of domestic violence who want to avoid being found by their abusers.  Forcing social media companies to provide users’ details to a court also opens up the possibility of “abuse of process”. This is where the legal process itself is used as a form of intimidation and bullying or, worse, for an abuser to gain access to their victim. The government has assured us the policy will contain safeguards against this, but has provided no detail so far on how this will be achieved.  Finally, it’s worth noting that several of the highest-profile current plaintiffs in Australian defamation cases involving social media defamation are to be found among the government itself. So while it might sound cynical, we’re entitled to wonder whom this policy is really designed to help."

10 things I wish I’d known before deciding not to have kids at 45

I chose my marriage over having kids - "the success of our marriage is partly down to our child-free status. The fact is, many of the seemingly superficial pieces of our relationship that are actually integral to our continuing marital bliss — long, uninterrupted conversations, lots of personal freedom, a quiet, tidy house, the peace of mind that comes with having some savings in the bank — would be seriously compromised by bringing a child into the mix."

6 Toxic Habits in a Relationship People Think Are Normal - "1. The Relationship Scorecard
2. Dropping ‘clues’ and other passive-aggression
3. Holding the relationship hostage
4. Blaming the other person in the relationship for your own emotions
5. Displays of ‘loving’ jealousy
6. Buying solutions to relationship issues"

Meme - "Please Do Not Eat in the Library. The ants will get in. They will learn how to read. Then, they will get too smart. Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. So... the ants will turn evil and take over the world."
Meme - "Please do not eat in the library. The ants will get in and learn to read and get too smart and knowledge is power, but power corrupts so they'll turn evil and take over the world. Save us from the evil ant apocalypse!"

Meme - "My neighbor's cat, got our cat pregnant. I was joking with him that they would have to pay Child-Support. When I opened the door this morning; this is what I saw..
*Purina Cat Complete*: "Child support"

Meme - ali segel @OnlineAlison: "I just ordered Indian food and my door dash driver texted me like "hey u didn't order naan that's a bad call." I love him"

Lucas Lynch | Facebook - "Am I The only one who notices that the people who obsessively talk about “mental health“ and “self care“ the most tend to be in reality the most toxic narcissistic abusers? "
Likewise, those who keep talking about "be kind" are very unkind themselves

Kamila Valieva: Top sports court doesn’t believe Russian skater’s strawberry dessert defense - "The Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) ruled on Wednesday that Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva did not meet the burden of proof to overturn her four-year ban for testing positive for trimetazidine.  Valieva had suggested the prohibited substance was in her body because she ate a strawberry dessert her grandfather made for her on the same chopping board on which he crushed up his heart medication."

'Narcissist' Putin is given a history lesson of his own after Tucker Carlson interview - "Mongolia’s ex-president seems to have taken on a new vocation as a history teacher – and his first student is Vladimir Putin... Deciding to school him, politician Tsakhia Elbegdorj shared a map pointing out he has much to lose by relying on history for modern territorial claims. He posted on X: ‘After Putin’s talk. I found a Mongolian historic map. Don’t worry. We are a peaceful and free nation.’ The map showed a diminutive Russia in 1471, compared with now, due to the size of the Mongol empire, the largest the world has seen.  Once the heartland of an empire stretching to Europe under the grandiose rule of Genghis Khan, the territory also covered much of modern China, as well as Eurasia – and Ukraine. Elbegdorj, president from 2009 to 2017, regularly met with Putin and believes his reason for launching the invasion is the threat posed to his regime by an entirely democratic Ukraine – rather than any bizarre historical claim. In past interviews, he called the war leader ‘a narcissist’ and said he ‘fears a free Ukraine’ ‘I know Putin does not tolerate freedom,’ said the Mongolian politician last year. ‘I have sat with him on many occasions. He despises difference, and competition. He fears a free Ukraine. ‘As a narcissist, he could not allow a more successful and prosperous neighbour. ‘A free, democratic Ukraine could represent a grave danger for his regime.’ Elbegdorj’s map also served as a reminder to leader of the Chinese Communist Party, Xi Jinping, that Taiwan is also not up for grabs."

Meme - Tucker Carlson: "Mr. Sauron, why did you invade Gondor?"
Putin: "You see Tucker in order to truly understand the history of Sauron you must understand Morgoth. I'd like to walk you through the First Age for a brief moment. I'm assuming you've read the Ainulindalë?"

Meme - Tucker Carlson: "Okay, but what does that have to do with Gandalf sending a hobbit into Mordor?"
Putin: "l am just coming to that. You said you wanted a serious conversation, not a talk show. You see in the beginning, all the creations of Illuvatar, the Ainur, sang harmoniously, but not Melkor..."

Meme - "When you finish Duolingo and finally work up the courage to talk to native-speakers
Tyrion: For your baby. To eat.
Varys: She thinks you want to eat her baby."

Meme - "Oh no! That ship with all those people is sinking!"
"Help us!"
"Don't worry! I can save them!"
"Hooray!"
"I just need to kill one of you to activate my powers."
"Wait, what?"
Trolley Man "Wow this superhero sucks." - Stan Lee

Meme - "After half an hour trying to figure out this crazy haircut, I realized it's a coconut tree behind him."

Meme - "My sister asked me to watch her son yesterday... so I took him skydiving! *scared baby*"

Meme - Doctor: "SWITCH TO DECAF FOR A WHILE. THAT SHOULD HELP."
Carol: "I'LL REPLACE ALL OF THE OFFICE COFFEE WITH DECAF FOR MY CONVENIENCE."
*Pointy-Haired Boss, Alice, Dilbert and someone else passed out on floor*
Wally: "MUST... FIND... ANTIDOTE."

Meme - Brownnose Pup @messytalls: "Hehe. They can put me in a hospital and make me take pills but now I'm home and nobody can stop me from covering myself in shit :3"
"Things have been rough lately, I'm going to be okay but it might take a while, I hope you're all doing well and staying messy ^.^"
"Unfortunately, Brownnese Pup, otherwise known as Eric, has died due to over consumption of feces and lack of nutrients due to the cunspumption of feces, and died of the shock of eating feces."

Meme - The Meme Policeman: "This meme is being recycled once again, not realizing that David Koch died over 2 years ago, so there are no “Koch brothers” anymore. Technically there is another Koch brother still alive, but he was never a part of “the Koch Brothers.” At least they’ve updated this meme from when OD shared it last summer, and have now removed David’s picture, leaving only Charles (so maybe they are aware?)
▪️As for owning Manchin, the Koch network has lobbied against the “voting rights” bill, which included targeting Senators like Manchin, but they don’t fund him. In fact, if you look at the 2018 list of “Koch candidates” they backed Manchin’s opponent Patrick Morrisey via a Super PAC (albeit for only $5K).
▪️There’s this bizarre view among the left that Manchin is some sort of traitor, when it’s a miracle West Virginia even has a Democratic Senator. WV is a deep red state, in 2020 Trump received 68.5% compared to 29.7% for Biden. This is not a place where an ordinary Democrat could exist, it would be like California having a Republican senator.
▪️Without Manchin, WV could easily have a fire breathing conservative. Instead, they have a senator who sometimes votes with Democrats and sometimes doesn’t."
The Other 98%: "The Koch brothers still own a lot of real estate, but their best investment may be the Manchin they bought in West Virginia."
"FALSE"

Meme - Nimbo: "Taxi Driver remake but its an uber driver who becomes obsessed with an egirl, then signs up for a gym, abuses tren & becomes radicalized by seeing memes on the internet. He then grows disillusioned with the egirl & devoting his life to lifting weights & being racist on online."

Meme - "Sending you good vibes *vibrators*"

Meme - Sigmatic @sigmatic_: "just trying to make the teacher laugh and you get artistically mogged"
Naruto @NarutoVibe: "A student whipped up a Naruto drawing, and their teacher came back with Orochimaru"

Switzerland, US and Singapore are the best countries for building family wealth

Malaysia's top court strikes out some Islamic laws in landmark case - "Malaysia's top court on Friday declared unconstitutional more than a dozen Islamic laws enacted by the state of Kelantan, in a landmark decision that could affect similar sharia laws in other parts of the Muslim-majority country... A nine-member Federal Court bench, in an 8-1 decision, declared 16 laws in Kelantan's sharia criminal code "void and invalid", including provisions criminalising sodomy, incest, gambling, sexual harassment, and the desecration of places of worship... The case has sparked uproar among some conservative Muslim groups, who fear the challenge could undermine Islam or the sharia courts in Malaysia. Security was tight around the court complex in Malaysia's administrative capital, Putrajaya, as about 1,000 demonstrators gathered outside to protest the case. They prayed and chanted "God is great" as the judgement was delivered... After the judgement, Religious Affairs Minister Mohd Na'im Mokhtar said in a statement the government's Islamic authorities would take immediate steps to strengthen sharia courts, adding that the Islamic judiciary remained protected under the federal constitution... Nik Ahmad Kamal Nik Mahmod, a law professor at Malaysia-based Taylor's University, said Friday's decision could have a "domino effect" with sharia laws in other states likely to see similar challenges. "There is a need to rewind and reconsider the existing states’ jurisdiction on Islamic law," he said, adding that Malaysia's constitution should be amended to avoid conflicts between sharia and civil laws."

Meme - *Fellowship of the RIng*
- conspired to destroy a priceless artifact for political gain
- destroyed the tallest architectural marvel in Middle Earth
- killed the biggest employer in Middle Earth
- conspired to bring one of their own on the throne of Gondor
- drove a Balrog out of his natural habitat and killed him mercilessly
- brought the race of Orcs to the brink of extinction
- installed someone loyal to them to rule in Rohan
- a glorified terrorist group"

Meme - "When Disney purchases LOTR
"Somehow, Sauron has another ring.""

Meme - "Nobody cares. I fucked your mom"
"My mom is literally a jar of ashes buddy and it's still the wettest pussy you've ever gotten"
"That wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life."

Meme - "When you didn't get a happy valentine's form a girl all day
Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope"

Meme Elrond: "Cast it into the fire. Destroy it!"
Isildur: "No."
Trolley Problem: Kill one (1) human
SAURON WILL RETURN, KILLING TENS OF THOUSANDS IN A WORLD DESTROYING FUTURE WAR

Meme - "FRODO: 'WHY DIDN'T YOU MEET US?'
GANDALF: 'I'M SORRY FRODO. I WAS DELAYED' *ATM at night with 2 Thai girls*

Alternatives to r/toronto : askTO - "I got banned for not having post history in the sub.  When I asked how I was supposed to get post history without having post history I got muted."

Meme - Dilbert: "I’d like to start with a diagram. It’s a bunch of shapes connected by lines. Now I will say some  impressive words: synchronized incremental digital integrated dynamic e-commerce space. Any questions?"
"May I have a copy of your presentation?"
"The results of my experiment are disturbing."

Toronto man gets prison for ‘glory hole’ sex assaults - "On two separate occasions in 2020, Tony Sfeir tricked two men into believing they were talking to a woman online, and invited them over to his Toronto home to have anonymous sex through a hole in a sheet hanging in a doorway.   The ruse came to an end when the second man pulled the sheet down to find Sfeir cowering on the ground in a black wig, and he was later arrested.   Ontario Court Justice Cathy Mocha convicted the 33-year-old of two counts of sexual assault, given that the victims had been misled about the identity of their sexual partner."
Naturally, some people were victim-blaming
Too bad he wasn't smart enough to say he identified as a woman

Meme - "SAMSUNG
They took your removable battery
They took your IR blaster
They took your microsd slot
They took your headphone jack
They took your buttons
They cut a hole in your screen
They added 5 cameras you don't use
What's the next way phone manufacturers are going to make your experience better?"

Meme - "UNTITLED GOOSE COMIC
FATHER, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GOOSE? *Goose statue*
THIS GOOSE BEFRIENDED THE HUMANS. AS PUNISHMENT, THE GOOSE GODS TURNED HIM TO STONE. HE IS DOOMED TO SPEND ETERNITY IN THIS OLD LADY'S GARDEN, BEING DRESSED UP AGAINST HIS WILL IN HUMILIATING OUTFITS.
THIS IS WHY WE HISS AND POOP ALL OVER THE HUMANS' WORLD, RIGHT FATHER?
YOU HAVE LEARNED WELL, MY SON."

Cecil Kelley criticality accident - Wikipedia - "A criticality accident occurred on December 30, 1958, at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in Los Alamos, New Mexico, in the United States. It is one of 60 known criticality events that have occurred globally outside the controlled conditions of a nuclear reactor or test, though it was the third such event that took place in 1958 after events on June 16 at the Y-12 Plant in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, and on October 15 at the Vinča Nuclear Institute in Vinča, Yugoslavia. The accident involved plutonium compounds dissolved in liquid chemical reagents; within 35 hours, it killed chemical operator Cecil Kelley by severe radiation poisoning."

Meme - "That license plate sounds like one hell of a good date.
BJ69 KFC"

Meme - "*Skydivers playing chess* Winner gets the parachute"

Meme - *Guy's T-shirt*: "I'm Very Vulnerable Right Now If Any Goth Girls Would Like To Take Advantage Of Me"

Meme - Remington Ph.D @DrRemingtonPHD: "🚨🇦🇱 African American male “pick up artist” guru goes to #Albania to pick up hot Eastern European girls; but all he ended up getting is called a “Ni***R” constantly and people wanted him to leave the premises and country.   #BlackHistoryMonth  #BlackedHistoryMonth #PickUpArtist"
"BLAXIT: Albania ls THE MOST RACIST COUNTRY I've Visited! They JUSTIFY Calling Us"

Madame Web Hits Record Low for Sony Spider-Man Movies at the Box Office - "Sony's latest superhero film grossed $17.6 million in the U.S. during its 3-day opening weekend and $25.8 million during a six-day period, per Variety, leading to the worst opening for any Spider-Man Universe movie, including the critically-panned vampire flick Morbius, which made $39.1 million in its three-day debut in 2022... it became the first Marvel-based movie since Fox's Fantastic Four reboot to not open at number one"

Madame Web Bomb Has Killed Sony’s Hopes for a Franchise - "“On Wednesday night, you could actually watch advance purchase sales declining in real time as buyers were refunding their tickets,” marvels a major theatrical chain executive. “It really says something when you’d rather have Shazam! 2 numbers.”...   “We’re not going to see another Madame Web movie for another decade-plus,” quipped one industry veteran. “It failed. Sony tried to make a movie that was a different type of superhero movie.”... Madame Web — directed and co-written by S.J. Clarkson and starring Johnson as a New York paramedic who develops psychic powers — seemingly took a wise approach: When there are capes and cowls on every metropolis corner, doesn’t it make sense to avoid the usual tropes and try for a more grounded-feeling suspense thriller with low-key charm? And moreover, make a superhero movie for women and young girls?  Except it didn’t work.   “I don’t know if women are enough to carry the box office here,” one veteran studio source outside of Sony says. Indeed, males make up 65 percent to 70 percent of the superhero audience in North America. In the case of Madame Web, the percentage of female viewers was still only 46 percent...   Interestingly, some Madame Web reviewers are earnestly making the case that the film could eventually find a second-life as a camp classic (the Los Angeles Times praised it as “the purest form of camp” and Slate raved, “It’s a travesty, a disaster … and I enjoyed the hell out of it”). While such backhanded compliments are hardly solace to Sony, there’s an argument to be made if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail big. Because there is actually something worse than a movie not succeeding: being forgettable."

'Madame Web' Writer Gets Publicly Humiliated After His Last 5 Films Display a Similar Lack of Quality - "Actress Dakota Johnson who plays Cassie Webb in the movie had admitted during an interview with The Wrap that the script underwent ‘drastic changes’ along the way. She mentioned that the changes that were made during the process were ‘more than usual expected’ amount for a movie. Johnson however did not detail the changes the script went through.  After her statement, it was pretty obvious for the fans to dig up the history of the writers who worked on the movie and they did. The duo Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless who joined Claire Parker and S.J. Clarkson for writing the script are known for writing scripts of Dracula Untold, The Last Witch Hunter, Gods of Egypt, Power Rangers and Morbius."

Meme - "OMG! Madame Webb is going to suck!"
"I know! Sony needs to give their rights back to Marvel!"
"Sydney Sweeney's sweater hams in latex?"
"Best movie since Endgame."

Dakota Johnson says she’ll never do a movie like Madame Web again - "she complained that films need to focus on being a good piece of art first, rather than being influenced by committees and algorithms... As for whether she's do anything like the flick again, Johnson was pretty clear in her views.  She went on: “But it was definitely an experience for me to make that movie. I had never done anything like it before. I probably will never do anything like it again because I don’t make sense in that world.  “And I know that now. But sometimes in this industry, you sign on to something, and it’s one thing and then as you’re making it, it becomes a completely different thing, and you’re like, Wait, what?”  She closed by adding while it's not great to be part of film that's being slammed everywhere, she does understand why."

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