BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, British Gas boss 'horrified' by force-fitted meters - "‘Do you accept another point made by another Centrica boss which is it would be irresponsible for them to simply allow customers to rack up more and more debt? After all these prepayment meters were introduced to avoid energy companies cutting people off, which, some years ago led to the tragic death of people, who simply had no way of turning on the heating at all even though they were freezing’
‘Look I'm not saying that we should forever stop prepayment meters ever to ever being, um uh, installed but what's clear is that the system is is is just not working… think there is a a long-term question for our country about whether people should be cut off from heat and power in any circumstances. We do not cut people's water supplies off. In other countries including for EDF customers in France they will always get a minimum amount of power and I think that is a debate our country needs to have because you know we are one of the richest countries in the world’"
Bills will just go up for everyone else to cross-subsidise bills for those who refuse to pay
Iran slaps couple with 10-year prison sentences for dancing in front of landmark in Tehran - "An Iranian court has handed jail sentences of over 10 years each to a young couple for dancing in front of one of Tehran's main landmarks, activists said on Tuesday. Astiyazh Haghighi and her fiance Amir Mohammad Ahmadi, both in their early 20s, had been arrested in early November after a video went viral of them dancing romantically in front of the Azadi Tower in Tehran. Haghighi did not wear a headscarf in defiance of the Islamic republic's strict rules for women, while women are also not allowed to dance in public in Iran, let alone with a man."
NSFW Washing Machine : Unexpected
Meme - "Mom, can sleep with you? Im scared...!"
"No, I can't risk the monster following you into my room and killing me."
Meme - "I completely changed the recipe and now it sucks!
Crissyboo86: "Carrots have waaaaaay to much sugar so replaced them with shredded kale. Cake turned out rather nasty so two stars. Unsure what went wrong but its to dry also."
Betty Crocker Brand Response: "We'd definitely recommend preparing this recipe as written, as the carrots provide much needed texture and moisture.""
BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, New powers to stop Protest - "‘My daughter is late to school. You are messing with children's education because you are selfish’
‘I've counted. There are 18 police officers on the scene now. There are currently five protesters still here. Each of them has got a hand that's glued to the floor’
‘I was actually due to be a pallbearer on my father's coffin along with my son and we both got that taken away from us’
‘I live in the area and I saw a couple of police officers that were standing above the M25, again wasting their time. They should be out patrolling streets looking after us’
‘Our government is acting completely unlawfully and has given us no other choice but to take this kind of action to even have this conversation’"
Iran sentences two women to death for 'corruption on earth' - "Two women have been sentenced to death in Iran on charges of "corruption on earth" and human trafficking over the last few days... Advocates and rights group took to social media to share pictures of the two women, saying they are LGBT rights activists and are innocent. The pictures could not be verified by Reuters. "Contrary to news published online, the sentenced have deceived and trafficked young women and girls out of the country by promising them educational and work opportunities, thus leading to the suicide of several of their victims"... "Corruption on earth" is a term Iranian authorities use to refer to a broad range of offences, including those related to Islamic morals. In March, Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei described homosexuality as part of a "moral deprivation" widespread in Western civilisation"
BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, Train cancellations and delays - "‘In the past train companies relied on drivers working overtime on their rest days. There is now no agreement to do this which is one reason, only one, but it is important, why Britain's railways are now much less reliable than those in war-torn Ukraine’"
BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, Three months of protests in Iran - "[On Sahand Nourmohammadzadeh] ‘He is only charged with uh uh removing a crash barrier and also setting a bin on fire and for that he has been found guilty of enmity against God and then later on sentenced to death’"
BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, Keir Starmer on reform plans, private schools and the single market - "‘Let's just recognize that the low growth in our economy has been going on for 12 years. It preceded Brexit, it preceded covid, and it preceded Ukraine. There is something fundamental about the way our economy works’...
‘You've been emphasizing your policy on private schools putting VAT on fees… that's not bold is it compared to what Labour used to want to do which was to abolish private schools… The essential unfairness remains doesn't it? Which is that some children in the country have three times as much spent on their education as others’"
Leftist logic: achieve equality by hobbling higher achievers
When bumblebee try to steal your girlfriend - YouTube
One Of The Greatest April Fools’Day Pranks Ever Involved A Fake Volcanic Eruption - "On the morning of Monday April 1, 1974, the residents of Sitka, Alaska, noted something strange in the familiar sight of Mount Edgecumbe, a dormant volcano located at the southern end of Kruzof Island, Alaska. A menacing plume of black smoke was rising from the crater! Concerned residents called the police and firefighters and the Coast Guard commander radioed the Admiral in Juneau who ordered a chopper be sent out to investigate. As the Coast Guard pilot approached Mt. Edgecumbe, he peered down into the crater. But there was no lava to be found anywhere. Stacked in the cone of the volcano, burning with a greasy flame, was a huge pile of old tires. And spray-painted in the snow beside the tires, in 50-foot-high black letters, were the words "APRIL FOOL." The fake eruption of Mt. Edgecumbe was the work of a local prankster, 50-year-old Oliver "Porky" Bickar."
✨nephilim sys 💫💚💙 on Twitter - "April fools day is ableist. PERIOD. Full stop. End of story. It's manipulative. Lying to people to laugh at them is manipulative and ableist. Laughing at someone for not understanding a prank is ableist. Pranking someone is ableist. the entire thing, not just specific pranks. -🥑"
Blind hoarder discovers dead body of son 'missing' for 20 years upstairs amongst junk - "A blind hoarder who had always wondered what became of her son 20 years ago has discovered that he was lying dead upstairs the whole time. But because there was so much junk and bad smells in the house, she apparently had no idea... The chilling discovery was made on 15 September when a relative arrived at Rita Wolfensohn’s home in Midwood. Rita was in hospital and needed some things, and the relative was helping out... Police asked her about her son, and she talked as if he had simply moved out."
Meme - "Babe~. I'm pregnant. And you're the father"
"SERIOUSLY BABE?"
"It's a prank HAHAHAHAJA
Happy april fool's day babe"
"You mean you're not pregnant?"
"I mean you're not the father"
Brazilian woman prays to "Lord of the Rings" elf for years, mistaking it for saint - "Religious saints are often pictured in long flowing robes. They also occasionally don crowns on their heads. Saints have that in common with medieval royalty, the Wise Men and, it seems, elves from the “Lord of the Rings” movie franchise. So, when a Brazilian grandmother, named Dona Nely, received an Elrond figurine from her boyfriend as a gift one year, she simply assumed it was a saint -- Saint Anthony, to be exact -- and began praying to it nightly... “That’s when I saw it and asked, ‘Guys, does Saint Anthony have long hair?’” Brandão told CBS News. As it turns out, he doesn’t. Saint Anthony of Padua -- the patron saint of lost or stolen articles -- is either depicted with very short hair or bald with a ring of hair around his head."
Meme - Sir Toppenbottom
"Pardon me good sir, I wondered whether you would appreciate assistance in achieving orgasm this evening?"
"My desire is tentative. Do you expect to be compensated for these services?"
"No sir, I act out of charity alone."
"How gallant! Verily, your assistance would be most welcome. By what means do you intend to encourage my meatus to issue forth its seed?"
"It is my desire to imbibe your turgid phallus and fellate vigorously to the point of full release, ceasing only once gratification has been enjoyed to your complete satisfaction"
"Tally ho! Proceed henceforth. I shall prepare the bedchamber and eagerly await your arrival, kind stranger!"
Meme - "When family car decals get too real... *6 men in jail, woman, 11 kids*"
Meme - "Me: Boy oh boy, i'm thinking about buying a... *Google and Facebook listening*"
Meme - "Tesla now factors late night driving Into their safety score. I drove home from the airport at 3am and that one drive dropped my safety score from 97 to 94. My monthly premium went up by $30/month a couple days later. Simply because I drove late at night once. Not a fan."
Meme - Eize Basa @PonchoRebound: "[David Attenborough voice] "Though dulled with use and soon to be discarded, the aged shears still have one last vital role to play for the kitchen it has called home for almost a decade: freeing its young replacements from their zip-tied cradle. The circle of life continues.""
Facebook - "Yesterday, CHP officers observed a Delorean exceeding the maximum speed limit. Thankfully, Officer Tolen stopped the vehicle before it could reach 88 MPH! Upon closer inspection, it was determined the Delorean was not equipped with a Flux Capacitor. Whether you have 1200 horsepower or 1.21 gigawatts under the hood, please slow down or you may end up going “Back to Traffic Court”."
Meme - Motorcyclist: "Wear helmet. Helmet saves life" *no helmet*
Meme - "Nazgul!"
"Oh, wow. The N-word, really? Is it really that hard to just say Ringwraith?"
Meme - Grace holland @thebiggestyee: "one time a woman with a medical alert wiener dog sat next to me on a plane and her dog kept alerting on me and she was like "not to be weird but you should get your heart checked out" and that's how i found out i had a mildly irregular heart beat"
Meme - "Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter."
This leaves out when liberals claim that sources are unreliable just because they say so, or that $1 in funding means there's a conflict of interest and the source is unreliable
Meme - "Start a business: $999 - too much
Buy a new iPhone: $999 - no problem
Healthy groceries: $100 - too much
Dinner & drinks: $100 - no problem
Watch Netflix: 2 hrs - 1 more episode
Learn a new skill: 2 hrs - no time
Life is about choices, stop blaming the "lack of opportunity."
Paul Joe McCoy: 1. You have to be extremely lucky to start a successful business for $999
2. We buy our phones on monthly installments of $27, and it's tough to afford that sometimes.
3. For a family of 4, reqular-ass groceries cost $100 or more. Healthy food is way more.
4. Folks who can regularly afford $100 for dinner and drinks are not struggling financially, They aren't the people you think you're talking to.
5. I can't speak for everyone, but I can't remember when I last had the time to watch 3 hours of television. Usually 30 minutes is pushing it.
6. If you can learn a new skill well enough to be useful in 2 hours, you either already knew how to do it, or are a child prodigy. Congratulations.
You idiots are completely delusional about the challenges poor and working class families face in America today."
Meme - Perry Noble: "Our new pens @thesecondchancechurch
'Stolen from Second Chance Church'"
A bear in Canada broke into a truck and guzzled a 'massive' amount of soda. It wouldn't drink the diet soda. - "Rosel owns a food truck and told the outlet she normally encounters bears in her remote area. Despite being diligent in never leaving food in the car overnight, she never imagined a bear would develop a sweet tooth for soda."
The Tibetan meaning of “Eat my Tongue.” {Dalai Lama} - "In Tibetan culture, it is common to see the old grandparents not only give a pop kiss to the small children, but also give a small candy or piece of food to children from their mouths – directly mouth to mouth. This may not be the norm of your culture, but this is commonly done. After the elder gives a pop kiss and a candy, since there is nothing left in their mouth, nothing left to give, they will say the phrase “Ok, now ‘eat my tongue” (not ‘suck,’ as His Holiness misspoke due to his less proficient English). The Tibetan phrase is “Che le sa”. They say that as in “‘ve given you all my love and the candy so that’s it-all that’s left to do is eat my tongue.” And itis a playful thing that the children know. This is not really done in the Lhasa region (capital of Tibet) so much, but it is more common in the Amdo region (where HH is from). However, it is definitely a Tibetan custom."
I shared this and a virtue signaller called me a pedophile
Relationships, Pranks and Kids: Thanks, I hate it - FML - "Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML"
Kids, Awkward and Funerals: Don't hate the player… - FML - "Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML"
Google over-hired talent to do ‘fake work’ and stop them working for rivals, claims former PayPal boss, Keith Rabois - "The thousands of layoffs in Big Tech are thanks to an over-hiring spree to satisfy the "vanity" of bosses at the likes of Meta and Alphabet, according to a member of the so-called PayPal Mafia. Speaking remotely at an event hosted by banking firm Evercore, Silicon Valley VC Keith Rabois said Meta and Google had hired thousands of people to do "fake work" to hit hiring metrics out of "vanity"... "There's nothing for these people to do —it's all fake work. Now that's being exposed, what do these people actually do, they go to meetings."... "People are watching Elon and Twitter and he's clearly setting an example — maybe it's an extreme example," Rabois said, before swiftly adding he would never bet against the Tesla mogul. Musk has always been a critic of apparent paper pushers. Silicon Valley veteran Marc Andreessen has previously claimed many tech firms are overstaffed, while taking to social media to criticize those in the "laptop class", which he describes as "Western upper-middle-class professionals who work through a screen and are totally abstracted from tangible physical reality and the real-world consequences of their opinions and beliefs.""
Damn Elon Musk firing people from Twitter!
Deer causes chaos after breaking into Melbourne home before becoming trapped
A Russian hiker's bid to remove a discarded fridge in Clementi Forest succeeds after a year; authorities reviewing processes - "For more than a year, a discarded refrigerator laying in the middle of Clementi Forest has vexed a Russian man with a deep love for nature, who has made it a personal crusade to rid the forest of the unsightly electronic waste. Mr Semenov Pavel Dmitrievich, 40, first stumbled upon the refrigerator while walking along a trail in the forest in March 2022, after his leg brushed against the object and he felt a sharp pain... During his most recent hike last week, Mr Semenov spotted the fridge again and said he felt “a bitter spiritual realisation” that he was right in realising the futility of his idea to report the issue on the OneService app."
David Kudler's answer to Why is Dumbledore bashing so common in the Harry Potter fandom? - Quora - "JK Rowling did something really, really challenging over the course of the seven-book series: she allowed the writing style of her books to shift as her point of view character matured. The first two books of the series are written very much in a Roald Dahl-like comic mood, reflecting Harry’s black-and-white, child’s view of the world. You have the mean Dursleys, the sweet, bumbling giant Hagrid, and of course, the saintly Dumbledore, who sweeps in to save the day and explain what just happened. Starting with Prisoner of Azkaban through Half-blood Prince, Rowling’s world follows Harry into adolescence. As he grows into his teens, Harry begins to perceive the world in more and more shades of grey. Griffindors can become Death Eaters. Slytherins (well, one Slytherin teacher) can be nice, if a bit hung up on celebrity. Nasty characters do things that evoke our sympathy (Draco in the bathroom or on the top of the Astronomy Tower) while characters we love (Sirius, the twins, Ron, Hermione, Molly, Ginny, and many more) do things that, frankly, aren’t exactly nice. By the end of the sixth book, Harry’s living in a world that’s much more John Le Carré than Roald Dahl — full of moral ambiguity. By the seventh book, he’s casting Unforgivable curses and doing whatever is needed to beat Voldemort. Anything goes. For Harry to be the hero of the series — not just Dumbledore’s man — he needs to do what we all do in order to grow up: he needs to see his (grand)father figure, Professor Dumbledore, for the flawed human being that he was. He needs to realize that Dumbledore wasn’t perfect — and then he needs to forgive him for it. That’s quite a lot to do in one YA book series. Not everyone learns to forgive their parents for being human. The other thing that Rowling did that created Dumbledore haters among some of the most avid Harry Potter fans is that she used him to withhold information until it was dramatically appropriate."
Meme - "Most embarrassing moment of my life"
"All players lay their phones on the table. Wait for the first person to receive a push notification. That person drinks"
"A sexual partner recently tested positive for an STD & is notifying you via our Anonymous Notification Tool to recommend you also get tested. For more..."
Rotny Ford on Twitter - "You have to come to terms with the fact that realistically in a post-apocalyptic world there's a 99% chance you'll die of diarrhea from drinking bad water and you will never get a chance to wear football armor and make a machete out of duct tape and a lawn mower blade or whatever"
'I Secretly Planted a Giant Sequoia Tree in My Mayor's Front Yard' - "In addition to claiming that he had planted dozens of redwood and sequoia trees around Redondo Beach, California, GoblinsStoleMyHouse also maintained that he was "beginning to get older" and that the vengeful planting had occurred roughly three years prior after he was engaged in a homeowner's dispute with the city. However, four months previously, he had described himself as a biology major (i.e., someone still in college), not an aging homeowner"
Meme - "I have a bot running buying and I selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the process with a computer program. I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn dicks while doing their job. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything completely out of order"""" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers. My normal trades are also in those pages so they can't just ignore everything. This costs me thousands of dollars every year. I make sure to send the invoices of how much all the processes cost me on top of the pallet so that whoever is in charge of it knows I'm wasting the equivalent of two months of his waging in asinine shit on top of his or her time."
Meme - "When you open a restaurant with SEO optimization in mind
Thai Food Near Me"
Meme - "Dear, we need to break up"
"What? Why??"
"No time to explain. Bye."
Parking lot: "SINGLE FEMALE DRIVER"
Meme - "Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle because she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad?"
Meme - "Apart from their profound philosophical disagreements, German Idealists and German Materialists can also easily be distinguished by their opposing stances on facial hair."
Meme - "I keep telling you guys I'm straight. Why doesn't anyone believe me?"
"How many minutes are in a ye-"
"525,600. Why?"
"Sure, you're straight."
Meme - "I Scream
Ben & Jerry & Mao's
OUR CONES DON'T "WAFFLE." HEH HEH HEH!
Burnt flag crunch, Socialist swirl, Michael Moore's S'mores, Secular Sundae, Chunky Surrender Monkey, Ho Chi Mint, French Vanilla, Chocolate Chip Tax Hike Dough
Innocent Kids
Shut up and scoop."
