"It is of course not difficult for an imaginative person so to conjure up the Person of Christ before himself that the picture shall take a kind of sensuous distinctness... Someone thinks he sees Jesus Himself, and consequently begins to commune with Him. But what such a person communes with in this fashion is not Christ Himself but a picture that the man's own imagination has put together." - Wilhelm Herrmann, The Communion of the Christian with God

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Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet

"A church group offers a homosexual a new life in the closet.

It’s the Onion radio news, I’m Doyle Redland.

Three years ago, born again Christian Dennis Lindaman was a self described homosexual “party slut,” but now thanks to Reclamation Ministries, his homosexual yearnings are safely in the closet, and he’s entered into a tortured loveless marriage to fellow Christian Diane Lindaman.

“Jesus has given me a fresh start. When I lock myself in the bathroom with the light off, crying... for hours on end, I know he’s there watching over me, ready to condemn me to eternal hellfire if I give in to my ferocious unquenchable desire to make love to other men.”

Reclamation Ministries founder Reverend Henry Spotswood says “the closet of the Lord has room enough for even the most vile of homos.”

Doyle Redland, for the Onion Radio News - online at the Onion.com."

(Transcription from a comment at Truth Wins Out - ‘The Onion’ Radio Pokes Fun At ‘Ex-Gays’)