Balderdash

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Hokkaido Trip
Day 1 (12/12) - Singapore-Narita-Handea-Chitose-Ainu Village (Part 1)

Unfortunately, on this trip I was on a guided tour. It wasn't too bad though, not being too rushed and having only one Chinese meal. There weren't any children above maybe 13 travelling with their parents though, and over the next few days I was reminded why.

My mother saw the reporting time wrongly and was kiasu about coming early, so we ended up arriving >2.5 hours before the reporting time.

At Changi I saw a flight codeshared between 4 airlines (to Brisbane, with Qantas, Jet, Air France and British Airways). This was the most I'd ever seen.

The automated clearance at immigration needs some work: it told me "Welcome to Singapore". Also, those at the entry point need to say "Welcome BACK to Singapore", since the gates can only be used by Singaporeans anyway.

The JAL pre-flight self-aggrandisement video (which is new, at least compared to May) was hilarious. It definitely beats being bored to tears with announcements made in bad English. They proclaimed that 'Safety is maintained by all 5 senses'; I pity the poor guy who has to taste engine oil. Another great line: 'Joy of watching an airplane take off'. Given how many flights some airports see, working in JAL must be an orgasmic experience. Perhaps the best bit, though, was the maintenance and ground service staff (the ladies who get to wear the pants, being second-class) waving to the airplane as it took off.

At Narita I saw a girl in a half-thigh length skirt, heels and no stockings (the weather was about 5-7 degrees, I think). I was muttering about the damn Japs, then I saw her Singapore passport. Singaporean girls are morons - wearing Uggs in Singapore, and this in Winter.

The new fingerprinting of all foreign visitors to Japan is silly. They want not just one but both fingerprints. The interface for taking your picture is colourful, in the typical Jap style, and flashes lines like: 'Ready?' and 'Thank you!'. To enhance cooperation, they should make it like Neoprint machines - if nothing else giving users a preview of what's taken would help picture taking.

The immigration officer asked me if I was in Japan for pleasure. How seedy-sounding. I'm not a Japanese businessman - I don't go to other countries to have orgies in hotels with prostitutes! Then the Customs Form asked me if I had any illegal or immoral items, or child pornography in my possession. No, I didn't have any Japanese pornography in my possession (they have 15 year olds in their porn mags, albeit clothed).

The toilet emits the sound of rushing water when you sit down to cover the noises you make while doing business (it sounded more like a noisy pipe). See, this is why there's global warming!

Your infant can watch you shit. I don't know what the metal pan is - maybe it's a target for your shit (or it's a sensor)

The disabled, babies, pregnant women, young children and the elderly are all happy, and no wonder - they have priority boarding!

The first enhanced Jap toilet bowl I'd ever seen. You flushed it by touching a metal panel on the wall. I don't know why. I couldn't figure out the deodoriser.

We then left Chitose airport for our lunch place.

Lunch - ramen

Advertisement - for the girl or for Hokkaido?

Accept no imitations

Bear and Seal meat. Mmm (I got 2 cans on a later day).

We then went to the Shiraoi Ainu Museum (Poroto Kotan), a replica of an Ainu village. It was appropriately called a Museum, since the Ainu long ago integrated into Jap society (the museum showed the Ainu as of 150 years ago), and the people there were actors.

Map of the area. They have a Top 100 waterfalls in Japan, Top 100 walking trails in Japan, Top 500 'best paths inviting to walk in Japan' and '100 Best Aromatic Scenery in Japan' (that place stank). Wth.