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Meesa gonna kill you!

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Saturday, January 17, 2004



...


How Satan is propping up Bush's war on terror - An obsession with the devil, born out of personal experience, explains why so many fundamentalist Christians believe that Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were working together In actuality the feature says little about Saddam and Osama. Enlightening nonetheless

Officer Murphy Is Screaming - God and the Problem of Suffering in Paul Verhoeven’s Robocop "I can't decide if this is ultra-elaborate satire or not". Unfortunately, looking at the other articles on the site, I'm inclined to believe the latter.

I thought MP3/WAV to MIDI convertors were quite good, but after some grappling with them, I am very disheartened. In related news, you won't believe how hard it is to find Power Rangrs WAVs these days.


Search Requests:

rgs pinafore sports bra - I went to see what else this gets you, and found one site where someone ranted: also bought 2 sports bra... the stupid saleswoman so dumb lorz! anyway dint wanna buy the one with the thing inside... make your that thing look so big... eeew... *hints at hippo* i want to make mine smaller lorz.. the person said it was like what? size 32 or something.. sheesh... disgusting lor... i dunno why some ppl like ... I thought big was good. Singaporeans are weird.

schoolgirl give rectal thermometer - I'm sure they love getting em up the ass. Never knew that this would happen when I recounted how I had to shove one up someone...

rape of nankan - I take offence, for I am a great fan of Wo-Hen Nankan, the one and only Asian Prince!

2003 guestbook of top mechanic in turkey - Maybe he won an award.

steven spielberg bipolar disorder - He has it? Or he made a movie about it?

bestiality noticeboard - A noticeboard dedicated to animal on human sex? Whee.

jilat puki - I doubt malay porn sites are very prevalent. (This means "Lick my pussy" in Malay btw)

"Neverwinter Nights" AND "Nude Portraits" - I can't believe people still want their adventurers running around without so much as a cloak.

FACES OF DEATH OFHOLLYWOOD - If Hollywood ever makes a movie based on "Faces of Death", I will swoon.

ah beng tudung - Never shall the twain meet.

anne coulter braless pics - Someone has a thing for naked female right wing fanatics.

Gay geppers - Erm.

photos on how to clean your anus in european style of toilets - I never knew that Europeans had a different way of cleaning up after defecation. And to think this came from Google India.
On faith:

The philosopher Ronald de Sousa once memorably described philosophical theology as "intellectual tennis without a net," and I readily allow that I have indeed been assuming without comment or question up to now that the net of rational judgment was up. But we can lower it if you really want to. it's your serve. Whatever you serve, suppose I return service rudely as follows: "What you say implies that God is a ham sandwich wrapped in tinfoil. That's not much of a God to worship!" If you then volley back, demanding to know how I can logically justify my claim that your serve has such a preposterous implication, I will reply: "Oh, do you want the net up for my returns, but not for your serves? Either the net stays up, or it says down. If the net is down, there are no rules and anybody can say anything, a mug's game if there ever was one. I have been giving you the benefit of the assumption that you would not waste your own time or mine by playing with the net down."

Now if you want to reason about faith, and offer a reasoned (and reason-responsive) defense of faith as an extra category of belief worthy of special consideration, I'm eager to play. I certainly grant the existence of the phenomenon of faith; what I want to see is a reasoned ground for taking faith seriously as a way of getting to the truth, and not, say, just as a way people comfort themselves and each other (a worthy function that I do take seriously). But you must not expect me to go along with your defense of faith as a path to truth if at any point you appeal to the very dispensation you are supposedly trying to justify. Before you appeal to faith when reason has you backed into a corner, think about whether you really want to abandon reason when reason is on your side. You are sightseeing with a loved one in a foreign land, and your loved one is brutally murdered in front of your eyes. At the trial it turns out that in this land friends of the accused may be called as witnesses for the defense, testifying about their faith in his innocence. You watch the parade of his moist-eyed friends, obviously sincere, proudly proclaiming their undying faith in the innocence of the man you saw commit the terrible deed. The judge listens intently and respectfully, obviously more moved by this outpouring than by all the evidence presented by the prosecution. Is this not a nightmare? Would you be willing to live in such a land? Or would you be willing to be operated on by a surgeon who tells you that whenever a little voice in him tells him to disregard his medical training, he listens to the little voice? I know it passes in polite company to let people have it both ways, and under most circumstances I wholeheartedly cooperate with this benign arrangement. But we're seriously trying to get at the truth here, and if you think that this common but unspoken understanding about faith is anything better than socially useful obfuscation to avoid mutual embarrassment and loss of face, you have either seen much more deeply into this issue than any philosopher ever has (for none has ever come up with a good defense of this) or you are kidding yourself (The ball is now in your court.)

--- Darwin's Dangerous Idea. Evolution and the Meanings of Life, by Daniel C. Dennett, pp 154-155


Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command? - Robert G. Ingersoll


1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.

2. Do not think it worthwhile to produce belief by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.

3. Never try to discourage thinking, for you are sure to succeed.

4. When you meet with opposition, even if it is from your family, endeavour to overcome it with argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.

5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.

6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do, the opinions will suppress you.

7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent than in passive agreement, for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.

9. Be scrupulously truthful even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.

10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise, for only a fool will think that is happiness.

- Bertrand Russell

Unfortunately, following them faithfully would probably lead one to ostracism

Thursday, January 15, 2004



Al Dente didn't use to levy a service charge. Now that they do, instead of printing new bill paper, they resort to cheapskate measures!



You will marry Wo-Hen Nankan. He is filthy rich and will take good care of you. You will get to be driven around in his fast cars and sexy vans. Plus, he has a vibrating hand. Congrats!!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla


caning for life.

Caning is a necessary and useful tool in the modern education of young children.

Errant children need to learn at a young age that misbehaviour or inadvertent mistakes may result in violence. On top of caning teachers should ridicule the children in front of the class so as to reduce their self-esteem. Phrases such as "you not so clever now are you?" and "ooh..I wouldn't' like to be your bottom?" are the particular types of comments which a teacher could use after a serious caning.

Should the caning be fatal, the teacher should immediately cane all the children in the class so as to remind them not to talk to the authorities. Another fatality may be used at this stage as an extra deterrent.

Having been a teacher in Kazakhstan for over 15 years, I have found the above techniques essential in maintaining respect for teachers despite the fact that class discussion is often curtailed. But then, there's nothing a good caning can't help! (a touch of caning humour).

I hope that these points have been useful and should you need to any further advice on specific caning techniques or situations in which caning is necessary (oh and there's lots) please do not hesitate to contact me.


Internet 'geek' image shattered

LONDON - The typical Internet user - far from being a geek - shuns television and actively socializes with friends, a study on surfing habits said on Wednesday.

The findings of the first World Internet Project report present an image of the average Netizen that contrasts with the stereotype of the loner "geek" who spends hours of his free time on the Internet and rarely engages with the real world.

Instead, the typical Internet user is an avid reader of books and spends more time engaged in social activities than the non-user, it says. And, television viewing is down among some Internet users by as much as five hours per week compared with Net abstainers, the study added.

"Use of the Internet is reducing television viewing around the world while having little impact on positive aspects of social life," said Jeffrey Cole, director of the UCLA Center for Communication Policy, the California university that organized the project.


Quoted by an anonymous person:

"Could you imagine a world without the internet? I know, it's pretty hard to think about. Instead of sitting on their asses in front of a computer screen people would go outside and experience what the world has to offer. People would create real relationships with other real people instead of making love to an instant messaging program. Sounds good huh? Wrong! The true purpose of the internet is keeping people like that out of the real world. Do you really want some role playing fetish fuck standing in line with you at the grocery store, or would you rather have them stored safely away in front of their computer screen, away from the rest of us? Would you rather have Counter-Strike nerds playing that stupid game for hours on end in their room, or do you want them out and about attempting to trip over third base with your daughter? The choice is obvious. For all that we curse the internet for, it is actually a blessing. It's a kind of prison for those too stupid or mentally unstable to escape it's suffocating grasp. I wouldn't have it any other way."


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand how to deal with women. Now, behavioural scientists have come up with an infallible merit/demerit system to help men manage. Remember, in the world of romance one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here's a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed [+1]
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows [0]
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets [-1]
You replace the toilet paper roll when it runs out [0]
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex [-1]
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom [-2]
You go out to buy her tampons [+5] in the snow [+8] but return with beer
[-5] and no tampons [-25]
You check out a suspicious noise at night [0] it turns out to be
nothing [0] it turns out to be something [+5] you pummel it with a
six iron [+10] it's her cat [-40]

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party [0]
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old university
drinking mate [-2] named Tiffany [-4] Who is a dancer [-10] With breast
implants [-18]

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday [0]
You buy a card and flowers [0] you take her out to dinner [0] you take her
out to dinner and it's not a sports bar [+1] Okay, it is a sports bar [-2]
and it's all-you-can-
eat night [-3] it's a sports bar all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colours of your favourite team [-10]

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go out with a pal [0]
The pal is happily married [+1]
The pal is single [-7]
He drives a Ferrari [-10]
With a personalised number plate (GR8NBED) [-15]

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie [+2]
You take her to a movie she likes [+4]
You take her to a movie you hate [+6]
You take her to a movie you like [-2]
It's called Death Cop III [-3] Which features cyborgs that eat humans [-9]
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans [-15]

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable beer gut [-15]
You develop a noticeable beer gut & exercise to get rid of it [+10]
You develop a noticeable beer gut and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts [-30]
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." [-800]

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding
[-10]
You reply, "Where?" [-35]
You reply, "No, I think it's your bum"[-100]
Any other response [-20]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a
concerned _expression [0]
You listen, for more than 30 minutes [+5]
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience [+50]
Your mind wanders to last weekend's game and you suddenly hear her saying,
well, what do you think I should do ??" [-100]
You have fallen asleep [-200]

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk [-100]
You don't talk [-150]
You spend time with her [-200]
You don't spend time with her [-500]
You are seen to be enjoying yourself [GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!]

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Note to self: In future, for more than one reason, always set alarm clock whenever father says he'll take "15 minutes".


"I have always urged Christians to debate with a Muslim (and vice versa) to see how ludicrous the other's justifications are. You will then have a realization of how ludicrous your own justifications (rationalizations) are. Please do this."

"It is one thing to inherit the facial features, hair color, etc. from the parents but a totally different thing to inherit sin. To be consistent, don't you think if one inherits 'sin' or the Sanskrit equivalent of it 'Paapum', then one should inherit the opposite of it for which I know not the Biblical word but the Sanskrit word is 'Poonyum'. Which means, if my dad and mom were wonderful human beings who have accrued a great deal of poonyum, then I should inherit all of that, right? In the Christian view, if my parents have accepted Jesus, their sins are washed away and they have become 'perfect' enough to spend eternity in heaven. Automatically I should inherit their perfection. However, this 'positive inheritence' does not happen according to Christianity."

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Tales from the Medical Centre

One day when I was the Duty Medic, there was a need to send a patient to A&E. Now normally it is hard enough to find someone willing to go down to A&E, despite the lure of Civilisation and the opportunity to buy the New Paper and maybe even patronise the NUH food court, but this time it was worse, for this was no ordinary patient, but a transvestite/transsexual. Even though I found at least 3 people who were totally free, I could not find anyone who was willing to send him. I would have sent him myself, but I was on duty. In the end, his unit medic sent him even though he had something on later. It just goes to show that in modern Singaporean society, where discrimination based on someone's race, religion, language and gender are all politically incorrect, it's still acceptable to harbour unreasoning prejudices against those with sexual identities or orientations judged deviant. So much for us being a multi-racial society - it doesn't seem to have made us more tolerant (even on a superficial level) of differences beyond those drilled into us as being unacceptable. People fear what they do not understand and destroy what they fear.

Jonathan and Wang always like to shit together in adjacent cubicles. I suspect their bowel movements are synchronised, in the same way that the periods of females who always hang out together are synchronised.

People always like to leave the door of the Documentation Room open after they enter or leave it, despite frequent reminders (from me). This is especially irritating when I am the Duty Medic, since not only does hot air blow in, pesky insects (of both the 6-legged and 2-legged varieties) like to fly in to bother me. Luckily, the broom is long enough for me to use it to close the door, though it is rather tiring.

"Underpaid medical staff pinched drugs and supplies" - this was written about Tanzania, but I think it applied perfectly to the SAF as well

Stories from 42

A regular told us that in 25 years in the Army, the highest AWOL rate he's ever seen is in 42SAR currently. I think that speaks for itself, but would also like to wager that the attempted suicide rate is, similarly, also the highest that he has ever seen.

I left my cupboard lock's key inside the cupboard on Christmas Eve, since it was the lousy type of lock (Tri-Cycle, a blatant ripoff or Tri-Circle, which is really sad - pirating a China brand) which allows you to remove the key even if the lock is open. As a result, I was locked out. Valiant camp mates from all over my level came to help me break the lock on Sunday night, but they all failed despite attempting the widest range of lock-breaking methods known to Man - from a skeleton key to Arc of Fire sticks to Paramedic Scissors to an Entrenching Tool (ET) Blade and even the ET Blade, ET Stick and a helmet, all to no avail. Eventually the lock gave way the next morning after dilligent hammering on my part with a hammer and screwdriver. But at least we now know that Tri-Cycle locks are very strong.

We have been told that now Urgent Leave has to be applied for in person, and not by phone. This is most curious, for I had always believed that Urgent Leave was Urgent, and servicemen needing it could not afford to return to camp to apply for it. I wonder what will happen if in the future someone's father is dying and he is told to return to camp to apply for Urgent Leave, but while he does so, his father passes away. If that unfortunate eventuality comes to pass, I hope the requisite heads will roll.

It seems we are not allowed to sit on our beds in the morning, on pain of getting confinements. The bunk is a very dangerous place indeed, so I will resolve to leave it as soon as possible each morning.

The Unit Fitness Program is not conducted by 42SAR. We are told that the reason for this is that someone (who probably has nothing to do with the UFP in the first place) just had to make the stray comment that if the PTIs took us, there would be "no sense of belonging" (we'd rather not belong to 42, thank you very much), but I think another reason is that the Chief PTI realised that UFP had become the 42 Fitness Program, and that 42 had spoilt the market (because since after 42 men started joining in, those from HQ Armour didn't turn up anymore). We are all very sad that we're now to be trained by 42, since the training will inevitably be less imaginative (and thus more boring), more regimental and involving us doing a lot of silly, unnecessary things and less useful (since the PTIs are the experts at PT).

I notice that recently, the 42 cookhouse has cleaned up its act. Its food used to be really bad, getting worse when all three cookhouses decided to have cooks from each place taking turns to cook, but I think it has responded to complaints, probably to keep a "receptivity" rating of more than 90%, arrived at by some mystical formula involving the celestial movement of the signs of the zodiac. Nowadays it's edible most of the time, and they've even made up for the period when they used to skimp by providing 3 dishes for chicken rice instead of 4, as specified in their contract - by providing a bonus dish (Tau Kee) for their chicken rice on two occasions.

Bureaucracy is a great consumer of paper, and the SAF is no exception. Some might recall my previous rant about admin instructions, even for minor activities like company games, with one particularly farcical safety hazard - "Serviceman is hit by frisbee". This time, I saw the lesson plans for the Close Combat Training packages, and the whole stack was ridiculously thick. However, on closer inspection I found that all the lesson plans shared at least 95% of their content. I divine that much of this is done to cover people's asses, and to conform to ISO regulations (this devil hits yet again!), but I wonder if it does more harm than good, for the amount of paper wasted - not helped by idiots who print out all their email - is surely leading to deforestation. (Incidentally, our paper is provided by "SFI" - Sabah Forest Industries and I doubt any part of it is recycled, so I think the Dayaks are the ones suffering the impact of our bureaucracy) The SAF may get award after ISO 900X award, but it's not getting any credit from the WWF or related agencies.

Something is very wrong. Often, my uniforms start to become musty after only a day in my cupboard. Maybe a malodorous miasma, the scent of which I am at a loss to describe, wafts in from an unknown dimension, but it doesn't seem to affect non-No 4 clothing.

Miscellaneous Vignettes

In its bid to employ the destitute, the Ministry of Education is hiring extra cleaners for each school, so the students don't have to sweep the floor or empty the wastepaper basket anymore. Maybe they should help the destitute further by hiring them to do the area cleaning that we NSFs do now.

We are always told to go to our commanders if we've problems, but those who repeat this advice never consider (or at least never tell us that they do) that the commanders *are* the ones causing many of the problems.


Heelys - the shoes which have wheels at the back so you can "heel" along - seem to be very popular these days. Maybe I should get a pair and sprain my ankle.

It seems that whenever people say I've lost weight, I will turn out to have gained some.


Quotes:

[On being in the army for 10 months) All my linguistic structures are eroding (?)

[Before I draw his blood] Can I scream in pain? [Me: Your choice]

Do you know how many people have suggested giving me a vibrator or a dildo for Christmas or my birthday?

[On breaking my lock] This is from someone who has broken his lock 2 times. Let me show you the power of the paramedic scissors. *proceeds to fail*

My whole [JC] class stayout except for 2 persons [,including me]... fuck. (stays-out)

[Me: Don't you find it reassuring to have an arm on your shoulder?] Yes, but not your arm. [Me: Then whose arm?] Maybe some chiobu's arm, but not around my shoulder? [Me: Then where?] Nevermind.

[Someone: Is 'Scary Movie' scary or not?] Scary? You want to know what is scary? Then go to [the] company line.

In the SAF Ward, the most frequent visitors are from 42SAR, or rather from Armour... If I see [people from] 42, I always see [people from] Support [Company]

[Camp mate to me: I don't think you've ever commented on someone who's not lian] That's because if they're not lian they don't warrant comment

I, me, Law and Ban Xiong... 3 of us.

Can I withdraw blood? (have my blood drawn)

None of you volunteered to be in the army right?

[On 42SAR] I'm 25 years in the Army. I've never come across so many AWOL cases.

[On suicides in the army] Last time you see a lot of people jumping down... That's why now all the blocks shorter (saw, are shorter)

[On fighting in camp] If you are in a commander unit and you fight, that is another reason, because the CO encourage it (commando, fine, encourages)

Fight also you don't get caught lah. Fight, get caught - xiao kao. (If you want to fight, If you fight and)

Fighting is childish... Don't be like the Americans: Go around bombing everybody.

Safety is the most important... All the time, at the back of your mind (front)

[Christmas Card] Merry Xams & a Happy New Year (Xmas)

[Sign] endorse statue (status)

Ah lians? Please. I just want to find decent, exotic, non-chinese bips. (babes)

[Me: You all are shitting together again ah?] Standard. Eat together, shit together. [Me: Sleep together] Fuck you. (It's standard practise)

[On his Friendster list of 96] At least 20 of them are SC[GS]... All either SC of AC.
Got this by mail:

Subject: Best Images of the past year 2003

The photos below were voted by readers as the best images of the past year... 



  1. Swallowed whole
 
A rainbow trout fingerling peers out from the gullet of a northern pike at the Alaska Department of Fish & Game aquarium in Anchorage.



  2. A romp in Russia

A polar bear cub plays near his mother at the Moscow Zoo.



  3. Moonshot

Flying at nearly 35,000 feet, a jet passes over the disk of a winter half moon above Boston on Jan. 3 The jet leaves contrails in its wake due to the temperature difference between the hot engine exhaust and the cold
air.




  4. Red Square reflection

  The Kremlin's Spassky Tower and passers-by are reflected in the wet cobblestones of Moscow's Red Square on Feb. 13.



  5. A galaxy's sharp edge
 
An image produced by the Hubble Space Telescope, released March 1, shows a perfect "edge-on" perspective of the galaxy NGC 4013, with huge clouds of dust and gas extending above the galaxy's main disk.





  6. Light of the world

  This composite image shows what Earth looks like at night. City lights highlight developed areas of the planet.




  7.
Mother and child
 
  An ethnic Albanian refugee from Selce, Macedonia, and her child look through the window of a bus as they arrive in Prizren in Kosovo on March 27, after fleeing the fighting in Macedonia two days earlier.





  8. A useful lesson

A German Shepherd named Pepper sits with two endangered Bengal tiger cubs and a cougar cub, far right, at the home of veterinarian Rob Zammit outside Sydney, Australia.



  9. Great white whale

  A beluga whale swims in a tank at the Vancouver Aquarium.



10.Puppy love

  Crystal, a year-old black Labrador-Dalmatian mix, peers through a heart-shaped hole in a fence.



  11.The gathering storm
 
  Dark clouds roll over Blair, Neb., on May 9, bringing thunder and flashes of lightning.





  12. The little duckling who could

  Mallard ducklings wait their turn May 14 as a sibling struggles to make it up a curb in South Bend, Ind. The mother, who had already cleared the obstacle, flirted with traffic for 20 minutes before leading her offspring safely across the busy road.



 13. Mideast flare-up
 
  A Palestinian youth uses a slingshot to fire stones at Israeli soldiers from behind a barricade of burning tires May 23.



  14. Rainbow times two
 
  An afternoon storm brought a double rainbow over downtown Chillicothe, Ohio, on May 27.



  15. Fury from above

  Lightning ripples over the Bass Performance Hall in Fort Worth, Texas, on June 14.





16. Grand old night

Tanner Mann, 8, of Hortonville, Wis., gets a good seat on top of his mother's car July 4 for the fireworks show at Riverside Par
k in New London.





17.Un-bear-able heat

  Koluk the polar bear goes headfirst into the pool at the Albuquerque Rio Grande Zoo in Albuquerque, N.M., on July 15.





18. Stellar light show
 
From ground-based telescopes, the "ant nebula" resembles the head and thorax of a garden ant.

HOPE THAT YOU SAW ALL THE PICS... BECAUSE NOT ONE OF THEM SHOULD BE MISSED!!!

THEY'RE JUST TOO SPECTACULAR!!



Let them sing it for you - Write your own songs and have famous singers belt them out
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