L'origine de Bert
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Links - 12th October 2013
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard Feynman
***
TRAVAIL – Le klingon plus utile professionnellement que l’espéranto | Le Gorafi.fr Gorafi News Network - "« Il y a de plus en plus de métiers où parler le klingon devient quasi indispensable. Les postes de traducteur à la NASA bien sûr, développeur de jeux vidéo ou encore animateur du Comic-Con en sont quelques exemples. » L’expert en recrutement souligne aussi les possibilités qu’offre la maîtrise du klingon pour ceux qui souhaitent entamer une carrière de scénariste sur Star Trek, même si le nombre de postes reste assez restreint dans ce secteur précis... « Nous souhaitions offrir à nos élèves les meilleurs armes possibles pour affronter le monde du travail avec efficacité. Et dans ce cadre là, le klingon se révèle bien plus judicieux que l’espéranto. C’est pourquoi nous avons remplacé tous nos cours de latin, de grec ancien ou d’espéranto par des modules de klingon »... président de l’association Entreprise-Espéranto... M. Clanchin insiste également sur l’aspect pratique bien réel du langage qu’il défend : « L’esperanto est une langue parlée dans plein d’endroits comme par exemple l’académie d’espéranto, le cercle des amis de l’espéranto ou encore les jeunesses espérantistes »... de plus en plus de traducteurs klingon-elfique sont recherchés par les entreprises qui souhaitent développer leur activité à l’international. A l’heure actuelle, cela ne concerne qu’une poignée de postes mais sur le long terme, ce sont des milliers d’emplois qui risquent bien d’être créés"
Is lesbian sex real sex? - "The sisterly ties imagined by Rich frayed very quickly. Disagreements among feminists over the politics of sexuality came to a head during the so-called feminist “sex wars” of the 1980s. Over the course of this decade, feminists—lesbian, bisexual, and straight— disagreed vehemently over sexual issues such as pornography, heterosexuality, butch/femme gender roles, and sadomasochism. After a decade of avoiding difficult sexual discussions, feminists found themselves embroiled in bitter debates over the borders between pleasure and danger and between politically correct and politically incorrect sex. Sex had become the defining issue for feminist politics. During the sex wars, some aspects of lesbian sexual culture—mainly butch/femme gender roles and sadomasochism—were criticized for allegedly imitating heterosexuality... In 1978, Gayle Rubin and Pat (now Patrick) Califia even founded the first lesbian-feminist organization dedicated to sadomasochism, Samois, which became instantly controversial, its members accused of eroticizing violence against women. At the end of the 1980s, another battle in the lesbian sex wars erupted, this time over dildo use. The arguments took a by-now familiar form. Some lesbians claimed that dildos and strap-ons were authentically lesbian; others decried their use as male-identified... lesbians still remain caught between two opposing mainstream stereotypes: the hypersexual (and hyperfeminine) lesbians of heterosexual entertainments and the asexual lesbians who bring a U-Haul to their second date"
Gillard's attack on men's ties didn't come out of the blue - "Long before the unbridled emotion of the misogyny speech and a full year ahead of the obvious overreach of the blue tie speech, Gillard was involved in a deliberate political and media strategy "focusing on women's issues", building a "narrative around the first female prime minister" and increasing her "profile in media consumed by women". The four-page document is a "Women's media strategy" compiled as a media unit brief by adviser Sally Tindall and dated May 22, 2012. Gillard initialled and dated it less than a fortnight later, on June 4, with handwritten notes including "please integrate into forward media plan". The plan goes into some detail about policy initiatives, media appearances and publicity stunts that could advance the women's strategy and objectives... most interesting is the way this document identifies the media tactics Gillard used to push her women's agenda - something that later morphed into the so-called gender wars. The briefing suggests: "Mamma Mia interview with Mia Freedman, followed by blog or Q&A on the website. This would include some social media in the lead up by key ministers and prominent women, encouraging people to ask questions." This idea was circled and marked "OK" and then taken up within days. Significantly, as we look back on the Gillard years in an historical context, this document demonstrates beyond doubt that Australia's first female prime minister deliberately and strategically sought to elevate and capitalise on "women's issues" for publicity and political gain. This was obvious to many observers at the time but denied by Gillard and Labor in government."
The Feminist Agenda! (and cynical political manipulation)
Women attack PM on gender | The Australian - "She also expressed disappointment at the implications of the Prime Minister's revival of gender politics in her speech at the launch of the Women for Gillard fundraising initiative last week. "I was disappointed because mixing up gender with policy is a bad idea," Senator Milne told Sky News's Australian Agenda. "When you try to roll these things together, as in that speech earlier this week, what you get is the notional view that you can't criticise a policy of a female leader without that being some sort of criticism of gender, and that's not the case." Ms Bishop accused Ms Gillard of using gender as a "shield and a sword" to silence criticism of her government, and argued women in Australia were not disadvantaged by their gender. "She is using this kind of claim and sexism generally as a defence against legitimate criticisms of her performance," Ms Bishop told the Ten Network's Meet the Press program. "Her own party are being bluffed into keeping her as their leader because if they seek to remove her on the grounds that she's lost respect or she's incompetent, then they'll be labelled as misogynists for removing Australia's first female prime minister"... "Julia Gillard will ultimately be judged not as a woman prime minister but as a prime minister, and whether or not she was a good prime minister and whether or not she ran a good government," he said."
Why the Danish mermaid is happier than the Singapore Merlion - "Danes believe that everyone deserves equal rights and opportunities. The term Janteloven means “you are not better than me”. From the bus driver to the corporate CEO, everyone takes pride in their work and does not feel inferior. Practising Janteloven relieves the pressure to acquire more materialistic symbols of success. Danes do not have “Tiger moms” who push their kids to choose professions that seem more respectable or well-paying. This allows many people to make a career out of their passion."
Comments: "What a slap in the face. Work life balance? Someone will take your lunch away, you know!"
"One of the rare occasions where "Janteloven" is referred to as a positive trait - we Danes mainly consider it prohibitory to initiative and entrepreneurship, as it rather goes "don't think you're better than me" and promotes collectivism over individualism to a degree that is by many considered unhealthy for society."
A Nightly Dinner Out That’s Like Therapy - NYTimes.com - "Mr. Rosen is 103 but he doesn’t look a day over 90. His mother died at 53 and his father at 70, but he says he feels fine and has had no major operations or health problems... “I haven’t eaten dinner home in many years,” said Mr. Rosen, who tried singles groups and other activities after his wife of 70 years, Lillian, died five years ago, when she was 95. But nothing brought him the comfort of a fine restaurant... Mr. Rosen said he would like to find a regular dining companion. A recent six-month fling with a 90-year-old woman he met at synagogue did not work out. “I’m still open to meeting someone,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he prepared to order coffee and dessert. “I still have the desire. That’s what counts.”"
Hey ‘Starry Night,’ Say ‘Cheese!’ - NYTimes.com - "These days, many museum visitors arrive with smartphones and the assumption that they have an inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of good photographs. Museum bans on picture-taking are practically unenforceable and are also obsolete. Art museums in America typically permit visitors to take (nonflash) photographs of works in a museum’s permanent collection but forbid pictures at temporary exhibitions. This prohibition is currently under review at many institutions, some of which have already dropped it. You don’t have to be a cultural alarmist to feel unsettled by the ubiquity of digital cameras in museums. As early as 1936, the German critic Walter Benjamin warned that cameras were instruments of distraction that impeded concentration and robbed art of its “aura”... the vogue for digital photography is a constructive development that, for the most part, enhances our experience of art... “We now routinely attempt to negotiate with all of our lenders to allow photography of their works while on display in the galleries. We have included that express permission in our own loan letters and contracts.” The change, he notes, should put an end to confrontations between guards and visitors. “It is far more important for our gallery attendants to focus on the safety of the works of art and our visitors than to have to constantly admonish our visitors, ‘No photographs!’”... When we photograph, e-mail, tweet and Instagram paintings, we capitalize on technological innovation to expand familiarity with an ancient form. So, too, we increase the visual literacy of this country. Much can be gained. Nothing can be lost. A photograph of a painting can no more destroy a masterpiece than it can create one"
Timothy Porter: Perverted hypnotist who tried to turn patient into sex slave is jailed - "War hero and self-taught therapist Timothy Porter made his patient fondle her breasts as he performed a sex act on himself while her three children slept upstairs. Jonathan Walker, prosecuting, told the court: “The defendant stated he was her master, she was his sexual slave.” When his victim was roused from hypnosis, she found him with his trousers down telling her to touch herself"
This shit works???
The Kenyan Daily Express: PHOTO of the Lady with the Longest Pubic Hair..ONLY 18-yr-olds and Above..
iPhone homeless scheme leads to chaos in Calif. - "Things turned sour outside an Apple Store in Southern California when a man's plan to hire the homeless to wait in line for anxiously awaited new iPhones resulted in an angry and mostly unpaid mob"
Pimp who forced teen to have sex with 100 customers convicted
Despite claims of patriarchy and rape culture, all the comments are from men calling for a harsher sentence (many of them prescribing castration)
Leopard print clothing banned at zoo as it 'confuses animals' - "Zookeepers noticed the trend for animal print clothing had caused animals to try to communicate with those wearing it or to run away in fear... Banned prints at Chessington World of Adventures Resort include:
– Zebra – Giraffe – Leopard – Cheetah – Tiger – Spotted Hyena – Striped Hyena – African Wild Dog...
'it's no wonder animals are getting confused when they see what looks like zebras and giraffes driving across the terrain in a 7.5 tonne truck'"
1 in 3 Japanese women want to be housewives: poll - "One in three young Japanese women wants to get married and be a full-time housewife, a government survey has showed, despite growing calls for increased female participation in the workforce. The poll, which quizzed more than 3,000 people aged 15-39, found 34% of unmarried women did not want to work when they settled down... potential husbands were on the whole less keen on the idea, with only one in five saying they wanted a future wife to stay at home all day."
Comment: "This poll shows how much smarter women really are. They've seen their worn-out (:() father coming home late every night from work (or " a meeting") and their worn-out (:)) mother coming home from aerobics or lunch with her "friend". The young girls know who has a happier life. I'd love to be a housewife. If I only had a uterus."
A lot of the commenters have wishful thinking and/or didn't read the article and claim 2/3 of Japanese women don't want to be housewives
***
TRAVAIL – Le klingon plus utile professionnellement que l’espéranto | Le Gorafi.fr Gorafi News Network - "« Il y a de plus en plus de métiers où parler le klingon devient quasi indispensable. Les postes de traducteur à la NASA bien sûr, développeur de jeux vidéo ou encore animateur du Comic-Con en sont quelques exemples. » L’expert en recrutement souligne aussi les possibilités qu’offre la maîtrise du klingon pour ceux qui souhaitent entamer une carrière de scénariste sur Star Trek, même si le nombre de postes reste assez restreint dans ce secteur précis... « Nous souhaitions offrir à nos élèves les meilleurs armes possibles pour affronter le monde du travail avec efficacité. Et dans ce cadre là, le klingon se révèle bien plus judicieux que l’espéranto. C’est pourquoi nous avons remplacé tous nos cours de latin, de grec ancien ou d’espéranto par des modules de klingon »... président de l’association Entreprise-Espéranto... M. Clanchin insiste également sur l’aspect pratique bien réel du langage qu’il défend : « L’esperanto est une langue parlée dans plein d’endroits comme par exemple l’académie d’espéranto, le cercle des amis de l’espéranto ou encore les jeunesses espérantistes »... de plus en plus de traducteurs klingon-elfique sont recherchés par les entreprises qui souhaitent développer leur activité à l’international. A l’heure actuelle, cela ne concerne qu’une poignée de postes mais sur le long terme, ce sont des milliers d’emplois qui risquent bien d’être créés"
Is lesbian sex real sex? - "The sisterly ties imagined by Rich frayed very quickly. Disagreements among feminists over the politics of sexuality came to a head during the so-called feminist “sex wars” of the 1980s. Over the course of this decade, feminists—lesbian, bisexual, and straight— disagreed vehemently over sexual issues such as pornography, heterosexuality, butch/femme gender roles, and sadomasochism. After a decade of avoiding difficult sexual discussions, feminists found themselves embroiled in bitter debates over the borders between pleasure and danger and between politically correct and politically incorrect sex. Sex had become the defining issue for feminist politics. During the sex wars, some aspects of lesbian sexual culture—mainly butch/femme gender roles and sadomasochism—were criticized for allegedly imitating heterosexuality... In 1978, Gayle Rubin and Pat (now Patrick) Califia even founded the first lesbian-feminist organization dedicated to sadomasochism, Samois, which became instantly controversial, its members accused of eroticizing violence against women. At the end of the 1980s, another battle in the lesbian sex wars erupted, this time over dildo use. The arguments took a by-now familiar form. Some lesbians claimed that dildos and strap-ons were authentically lesbian; others decried their use as male-identified... lesbians still remain caught between two opposing mainstream stereotypes: the hypersexual (and hyperfeminine) lesbians of heterosexual entertainments and the asexual lesbians who bring a U-Haul to their second date"
Gillard's attack on men's ties didn't come out of the blue - "Long before the unbridled emotion of the misogyny speech and a full year ahead of the obvious overreach of the blue tie speech, Gillard was involved in a deliberate political and media strategy "focusing on women's issues", building a "narrative around the first female prime minister" and increasing her "profile in media consumed by women". The four-page document is a "Women's media strategy" compiled as a media unit brief by adviser Sally Tindall and dated May 22, 2012. Gillard initialled and dated it less than a fortnight later, on June 4, with handwritten notes including "please integrate into forward media plan". The plan goes into some detail about policy initiatives, media appearances and publicity stunts that could advance the women's strategy and objectives... most interesting is the way this document identifies the media tactics Gillard used to push her women's agenda - something that later morphed into the so-called gender wars. The briefing suggests: "Mamma Mia interview with Mia Freedman, followed by blog or Q&A on the website. This would include some social media in the lead up by key ministers and prominent women, encouraging people to ask questions." This idea was circled and marked "OK" and then taken up within days. Significantly, as we look back on the Gillard years in an historical context, this document demonstrates beyond doubt that Australia's first female prime minister deliberately and strategically sought to elevate and capitalise on "women's issues" for publicity and political gain. This was obvious to many observers at the time but denied by Gillard and Labor in government."
The Feminist Agenda! (and cynical political manipulation)
Women attack PM on gender | The Australian - "She also expressed disappointment at the implications of the Prime Minister's revival of gender politics in her speech at the launch of the Women for Gillard fundraising initiative last week. "I was disappointed because mixing up gender with policy is a bad idea," Senator Milne told Sky News's Australian Agenda. "When you try to roll these things together, as in that speech earlier this week, what you get is the notional view that you can't criticise a policy of a female leader without that being some sort of criticism of gender, and that's not the case." Ms Bishop accused Ms Gillard of using gender as a "shield and a sword" to silence criticism of her government, and argued women in Australia were not disadvantaged by their gender. "She is using this kind of claim and sexism generally as a defence against legitimate criticisms of her performance," Ms Bishop told the Ten Network's Meet the Press program. "Her own party are being bluffed into keeping her as their leader because if they seek to remove her on the grounds that she's lost respect or she's incompetent, then they'll be labelled as misogynists for removing Australia's first female prime minister"... "Julia Gillard will ultimately be judged not as a woman prime minister but as a prime minister, and whether or not she was a good prime minister and whether or not she ran a good government," he said."
Why the Danish mermaid is happier than the Singapore Merlion - "Danes believe that everyone deserves equal rights and opportunities. The term Janteloven means “you are not better than me”. From the bus driver to the corporate CEO, everyone takes pride in their work and does not feel inferior. Practising Janteloven relieves the pressure to acquire more materialistic symbols of success. Danes do not have “Tiger moms” who push their kids to choose professions that seem more respectable or well-paying. This allows many people to make a career out of their passion."
Comments: "What a slap in the face. Work life balance? Someone will take your lunch away, you know!"
"One of the rare occasions where "Janteloven" is referred to as a positive trait - we Danes mainly consider it prohibitory to initiative and entrepreneurship, as it rather goes "don't think you're better than me" and promotes collectivism over individualism to a degree that is by many considered unhealthy for society."
A Nightly Dinner Out That’s Like Therapy - NYTimes.com - "Mr. Rosen is 103 but he doesn’t look a day over 90. His mother died at 53 and his father at 70, but he says he feels fine and has had no major operations or health problems... “I haven’t eaten dinner home in many years,” said Mr. Rosen, who tried singles groups and other activities after his wife of 70 years, Lillian, died five years ago, when she was 95. But nothing brought him the comfort of a fine restaurant... Mr. Rosen said he would like to find a regular dining companion. A recent six-month fling with a 90-year-old woman he met at synagogue did not work out. “I’m still open to meeting someone,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he prepared to order coffee and dessert. “I still have the desire. That’s what counts.”"
Hey ‘Starry Night,’ Say ‘Cheese!’ - NYTimes.com - "These days, many museum visitors arrive with smartphones and the assumption that they have an inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of good photographs. Museum bans on picture-taking are practically unenforceable and are also obsolete. Art museums in America typically permit visitors to take (nonflash) photographs of works in a museum’s permanent collection but forbid pictures at temporary exhibitions. This prohibition is currently under review at many institutions, some of which have already dropped it. You don’t have to be a cultural alarmist to feel unsettled by the ubiquity of digital cameras in museums. As early as 1936, the German critic Walter Benjamin warned that cameras were instruments of distraction that impeded concentration and robbed art of its “aura”... the vogue for digital photography is a constructive development that, for the most part, enhances our experience of art... “We now routinely attempt to negotiate with all of our lenders to allow photography of their works while on display in the galleries. We have included that express permission in our own loan letters and contracts.” The change, he notes, should put an end to confrontations between guards and visitors. “It is far more important for our gallery attendants to focus on the safety of the works of art and our visitors than to have to constantly admonish our visitors, ‘No photographs!’”... When we photograph, e-mail, tweet and Instagram paintings, we capitalize on technological innovation to expand familiarity with an ancient form. So, too, we increase the visual literacy of this country. Much can be gained. Nothing can be lost. A photograph of a painting can no more destroy a masterpiece than it can create one"
Timothy Porter: Perverted hypnotist who tried to turn patient into sex slave is jailed - "War hero and self-taught therapist Timothy Porter made his patient fondle her breasts as he performed a sex act on himself while her three children slept upstairs. Jonathan Walker, prosecuting, told the court: “The defendant stated he was her master, she was his sexual slave.” When his victim was roused from hypnosis, she found him with his trousers down telling her to touch herself"
This shit works???
The Kenyan Daily Express: PHOTO of the Lady with the Longest Pubic Hair..ONLY 18-yr-olds and Above..
iPhone homeless scheme leads to chaos in Calif. - "Things turned sour outside an Apple Store in Southern California when a man's plan to hire the homeless to wait in line for anxiously awaited new iPhones resulted in an angry and mostly unpaid mob"
Pimp who forced teen to have sex with 100 customers convicted
Despite claims of patriarchy and rape culture, all the comments are from men calling for a harsher sentence (many of them prescribing castration)
Leopard print clothing banned at zoo as it 'confuses animals' - "Zookeepers noticed the trend for animal print clothing had caused animals to try to communicate with those wearing it or to run away in fear... Banned prints at Chessington World of Adventures Resort include:
– Zebra – Giraffe – Leopard – Cheetah – Tiger – Spotted Hyena – Striped Hyena – African Wild Dog...
'it's no wonder animals are getting confused when they see what looks like zebras and giraffes driving across the terrain in a 7.5 tonne truck'"
1 in 3 Japanese women want to be housewives: poll - "One in three young Japanese women wants to get married and be a full-time housewife, a government survey has showed, despite growing calls for increased female participation in the workforce. The poll, which quizzed more than 3,000 people aged 15-39, found 34% of unmarried women did not want to work when they settled down... potential husbands were on the whole less keen on the idea, with only one in five saying they wanted a future wife to stay at home all day."
Comment: "This poll shows how much smarter women really are. They've seen their worn-out (:() father coming home late every night from work (or " a meeting") and their worn-out (:)) mother coming home from aerobics or lunch with her "friend". The young girls know who has a happier life. I'd love to be a housewife. If I only had a uterus."
A lot of the commenters have wishful thinking and/or didn't read the article and claim 2/3 of Japanese women don't want to be housewives
Post ID: 6785323074418526224
It makes a better story
(Charles, a white man, has been charged with raping a black woman)
HENRY. Sit down.
(CHARLES sits.)
You want to tell me about Black folks? I’ll help you: O.J. Was guilty. Rodney King was in the wrong place, but the police have the right to use force. Malcolm X. was noble when he renounced violence. Prior to that he was misguided. Dr. King was, of course, a saint. He was killed by a jealous husband, and you had a maid when you were young who was better to you than your mother. She raised you. You’ve never fucked a black girl, but one sat near you in science class, and she was actually rather shy.
(pause)
CHARLES. …I would never say any of…
HENRY. You’re fucking A right you wouldn’t. Which is the purpose of the lesson. Do you know what you can say? To a black man. On the subject of race?
CHARLES. “Nothing.”
HENRY. That is correct.
(pause)
CHARLES. Black people can talk about Race.
HENRY. How about that.
CHARLES. (pause) I will do anything I can. To wipe the slate clean.
JACK. You cannot wipe the slate clean...
JACK. I would assume that you are guilty.
CHARLES. Why?
JACK. Because it makes a better story.
HENRY. World goes to sleep at night, Mr. Srickland. Wakes up and it needs two things. A cup of coffee and some vicious gossip.
CHARLES. And you can change the world.
HENRY. No one can change the world.
--- Race / David Mamet
HENRY. Sit down.
(CHARLES sits.)
You want to tell me about Black folks? I’ll help you: O.J. Was guilty. Rodney King was in the wrong place, but the police have the right to use force. Malcolm X. was noble when he renounced violence. Prior to that he was misguided. Dr. King was, of course, a saint. He was killed by a jealous husband, and you had a maid when you were young who was better to you than your mother. She raised you. You’ve never fucked a black girl, but one sat near you in science class, and she was actually rather shy.
(pause)
CHARLES. …I would never say any of…
HENRY. You’re fucking A right you wouldn’t. Which is the purpose of the lesson. Do you know what you can say? To a black man. On the subject of race?
CHARLES. “Nothing.”
HENRY. That is correct.
(pause)
CHARLES. Black people can talk about Race.
HENRY. How about that.
CHARLES. (pause) I will do anything I can. To wipe the slate clean.
JACK. You cannot wipe the slate clean...
JACK. I would assume that you are guilty.
CHARLES. Why?
JACK. Because it makes a better story.
HENRY. World goes to sleep at night, Mr. Srickland. Wakes up and it needs two things. A cup of coffee and some vicious gossip.
CHARLES. And you can change the world.
HENRY. No one can change the world.
--- Race / David Mamet
Post ID: 4795091801267972269
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Homosexuality in Saudi Arabia: De facto tolerance
"I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butt look smaller... and to make it harder for them to run away." - Amanda Bynes (as Viola Hastings, She's the Man)
***
The Kingdom in the Closet - Nadya Labi - The Atlantic
"“It’s a lot easier to be gay than straight here,” he had said. “If you go out with a girl, people will start to ask her questions. But if I have a date upstairs and my family is downstairs, they won’t even come up.”
Notorious for its adherence to Wahhabism, a puritanical strain of Islam, and as the birthplace of most of the 9/11 hijackers, Saudi Arabia is the only Arab country that claims sharia, or Islamic law, as its sole legal code...
The kingdom leaves considerable space for homosexual behavior. As long as gays and lesbians maintain a public front of obeisance to Wahhabist norms, they are left to do what they want in private. Vibrant communities of men who enjoy sex with other men can be found in cosmopolitan cities like Jeddah and Riyadh. They meet in schools, in cafés, in the streets, and on the Internet. “You can be cruised anywhere in Saudi Arabia, any time of the day,” said Radwan, a 42-year-old gay Saudi American who grew up in various Western cities and now lives in Jeddah. “They’re quite shameless about it.” Talal, a Syrian who moved to Riyadh in 2000, calls the Saudi capital a “gay heaven.”
This is surprising enough. But what seems more startling, at least from a Western perspective, is that some of the men having sex with other men don’t consider themselves gay...
In Saudi Arabia, “It’s easier to be a lesbian [than a heterosexual]. There’s an overwhelming number of people who turn to lesbianism,” Yasmin said, adding that the number of men in the kingdom who turn to gay sex is even greater. “They’re not really homosexual,” she said. “They’re like cell mates in prison”...
Many “tops” are simply hard up for sex, looking to break their abstinence in whatever way they can...
Many gay expatriates say they feel more at home in the kingdom than in their native lands...
In The History of Sexuality, a multivolume work published in the 1970s and ’80s, Michel Foucault proposed his famous thesis that Western academic, medical, and political discourse of the 18th and 19th centuries had produced the idea of the homosexual as a deviant type: In Western society, homosexuality changed from being a behavior (what you do) to an identity (who you are). In the Middle East, however, homosexual behavior remained just that—an act, not an orientation...
Yet a paradox exists at the heart of Saudi conceptions of gay sex and sexual identity: Despite their seemingly flexible view of sexuality, most of the Saudis I interviewed, including those men who identify themselves as gay, consider sodomy a grave sin...
Indeed, the Koran does not contain rules about homosexuality, says Everett K. Rowson, a professor at New York University who is working on a book about homosexuality in medieval Islamic society... "200 years ago, highly respected religious scholars in the Middle East were writing poems about beautiful boys”...
The gay men I interviewed in Jeddah and Riyadh laughed when I asked them if they worried about being executed. Although they do fear the mutawwa'in to some degree, they believe the House of Saud isn’t interested in a widespread hunt of homosexuals. For one thing, such an effort might expose members of the royal family to awkward scrutiny...
The power of the mutawwa'in is limited by the Koran, which frowns upon those who intrude on the privacy of others in order to catch them in sinful acts. The mandate of the Committee on the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice is specifically to regulate behavior in the public realm. What occurs behind closed doors is between a believer and God. This seems to be the way of the kingdom: essentially, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Private misbehavior is fine, as long as public decorum is observed... Few people in the kingdom, other than the mutawwa'in, seem to take the process seriously...
To be gay in Saudi Arabia is to live a contradiction—to have license without rights, and to enjoy broad tolerance without the most minimal acceptance...
A policy of official denial but tacit acceptance leaves space for change, the possibility that gay men will abandon their sinful ways... But as the Western conception of sexual identity has filtered into the kingdom via television and the Internet, it has begun to blur the Saudi view of sexual behavior as distinct from sexual identity... “They know if your favorite artist is Madonna and you listen to a lot of music, that means you are gay”... His father, a Saudi, threatened to kill himself, then decided that he couldn’t (because suicide is haram), then contemplated killing Radwan instead...
The expectation that Zahar would maintain a public front at odds with his private self is no greater than the expectations facing his straight peers... Most of the gay men I interviewed said that gay rights are beside the point. They view the downsides of life in Saudi Arabia—having to cut your hair, or hide your jewelry, or even spend time in prison for going to a party—as minor aggravations. “When I see a gay parade [in trips to the West], it’s too much of a masquerade for attention,” Zahar said. “You don’t need that. Women’s rights, gay rights—why? Get your rights without being too loud.”
Embracing gay identity, generally viewed in the West as the path to fuller rights, could backfire in Saudi Arabia. The idea of being gay, as opposed to simply acting on sexual urges, may bring with it a deeper sense of shame...
He tried to rally the community and encourage basic rights—like the right not to be imprisoned. But the locals took him aside and warned him to keep his mouth shut. They told him, “You’ve got everything a gay person could ever want.”"
Meanwhile in Singapore, activists are still hung up over 377A.
***
Saudi gays flaunt new freedoms: 'Straights can't kiss in public or hold hands like us'
"The paradox of Saudi Arabia is that while the executioner's sword awaits anyone convicted of the crime of sodomy, in practice homosexuality is tolerated.
"I don't feel oppressed at all," said one, a 23-year-old who was meeting in one of the coffee shops with a group of self-identified "gay" Saudi friends dressed in Western clothes and speaking fluent English. "I heard that after 11 September, a Saudi student who was going to be deported on a visa technicality applied for political asylum because he was gay," he added, provoking laughter from the others. "What was he thinking of? We have more freedom here than straight couples. After all, they can't kiss in public like we can, or stroll down the street holding one another's hand."
Saudi Arabia's domestic reform initiative, combined with the kingdom's eagerness to shed an international reputation for fostering extremism and intolerance, may even have some benefits for this strict Islamic society's gay community. Shortly after the attacks on America - most of the suicide-hijackers were Saudi nationals - a Saudi diplomat in Washington denied that the kingdom beheads homosexuals, while openly admitting that "sodomy" is practised by consenting males in Saudi Arabia "on a daily basis". Even the head of the notorious religious police has since acknowledged the existence of a local gay population.
The treatment of gay men here received international attention when an Interior Ministry statement reported in January 2002 that three men in the southern city of Abha had been "beheaded for homosexuality". The report provoked widespread condemnation from gay and human-rights groups in the West - and a swift denial from an official at the Saudi embassy in Washington, DC. Tariq Allegany, an embassy spokesman, said the three were beheaded for the sexual abuse of boys. He said: "I would guess there's sodomy going on daily in Saudi Arabia, but we don't have executions for it all the time."
A Riyadh-based Western diplomat, aware of the details of the case, confirmed the men were beheaded for "rape". "The three men seduced a number of very young boys and videoed themselves raping them. Then they used the recordings, and the fear the boys had of being exposed, to get the youngsters to recruit their friends," he said.
While homosexuality is illegal in Saudi Arabia, doubt surrounds specific punishment for it. Some gay foreigners were deported in the 1990s, "but no Saudi has ever been prosecuted for 'being a homosexual'...
In an unprecedented two-page special investigation, the daily newspaper Okaz said lesbianism was "endemic" among schoolgirls. It justified the article with a saying of the Prophet's wife Ayeshathat "there should be no shyness in religion". The article told of lesbian sex in school lavatories, girls stigmatised after refusing the advances of their fellow students, and teachers complaining that none of the girls were willing to change their behaviour.
Mr Ghaith dismissed a suggestion that he should send his "enforcers" to investigate"
***
The Kingdom in the Closet - Nadya Labi - The Atlantic
"“It’s a lot easier to be gay than straight here,” he had said. “If you go out with a girl, people will start to ask her questions. But if I have a date upstairs and my family is downstairs, they won’t even come up.”
Notorious for its adherence to Wahhabism, a puritanical strain of Islam, and as the birthplace of most of the 9/11 hijackers, Saudi Arabia is the only Arab country that claims sharia, or Islamic law, as its sole legal code...
The kingdom leaves considerable space for homosexual behavior. As long as gays and lesbians maintain a public front of obeisance to Wahhabist norms, they are left to do what they want in private. Vibrant communities of men who enjoy sex with other men can be found in cosmopolitan cities like Jeddah and Riyadh. They meet in schools, in cafés, in the streets, and on the Internet. “You can be cruised anywhere in Saudi Arabia, any time of the day,” said Radwan, a 42-year-old gay Saudi American who grew up in various Western cities and now lives in Jeddah. “They’re quite shameless about it.” Talal, a Syrian who moved to Riyadh in 2000, calls the Saudi capital a “gay heaven.”
This is surprising enough. But what seems more startling, at least from a Western perspective, is that some of the men having sex with other men don’t consider themselves gay...
In Saudi Arabia, “It’s easier to be a lesbian [than a heterosexual]. There’s an overwhelming number of people who turn to lesbianism,” Yasmin said, adding that the number of men in the kingdom who turn to gay sex is even greater. “They’re not really homosexual,” she said. “They’re like cell mates in prison”...
Many “tops” are simply hard up for sex, looking to break their abstinence in whatever way they can...
Many gay expatriates say they feel more at home in the kingdom than in their native lands...
In The History of Sexuality, a multivolume work published in the 1970s and ’80s, Michel Foucault proposed his famous thesis that Western academic, medical, and political discourse of the 18th and 19th centuries had produced the idea of the homosexual as a deviant type: In Western society, homosexuality changed from being a behavior (what you do) to an identity (who you are). In the Middle East, however, homosexual behavior remained just that—an act, not an orientation...
Yet a paradox exists at the heart of Saudi conceptions of gay sex and sexual identity: Despite their seemingly flexible view of sexuality, most of the Saudis I interviewed, including those men who identify themselves as gay, consider sodomy a grave sin...
Indeed, the Koran does not contain rules about homosexuality, says Everett K. Rowson, a professor at New York University who is working on a book about homosexuality in medieval Islamic society... "200 years ago, highly respected religious scholars in the Middle East were writing poems about beautiful boys”...
The gay men I interviewed in Jeddah and Riyadh laughed when I asked them if they worried about being executed. Although they do fear the mutawwa'in to some degree, they believe the House of Saud isn’t interested in a widespread hunt of homosexuals. For one thing, such an effort might expose members of the royal family to awkward scrutiny...
The power of the mutawwa'in is limited by the Koran, which frowns upon those who intrude on the privacy of others in order to catch them in sinful acts. The mandate of the Committee on the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice is specifically to regulate behavior in the public realm. What occurs behind closed doors is between a believer and God. This seems to be the way of the kingdom: essentially, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Private misbehavior is fine, as long as public decorum is observed... Few people in the kingdom, other than the mutawwa'in, seem to take the process seriously...
To be gay in Saudi Arabia is to live a contradiction—to have license without rights, and to enjoy broad tolerance without the most minimal acceptance...
A policy of official denial but tacit acceptance leaves space for change, the possibility that gay men will abandon their sinful ways... But as the Western conception of sexual identity has filtered into the kingdom via television and the Internet, it has begun to blur the Saudi view of sexual behavior as distinct from sexual identity... “They know if your favorite artist is Madonna and you listen to a lot of music, that means you are gay”... His father, a Saudi, threatened to kill himself, then decided that he couldn’t (because suicide is haram), then contemplated killing Radwan instead...
The expectation that Zahar would maintain a public front at odds with his private self is no greater than the expectations facing his straight peers... Most of the gay men I interviewed said that gay rights are beside the point. They view the downsides of life in Saudi Arabia—having to cut your hair, or hide your jewelry, or even spend time in prison for going to a party—as minor aggravations. “When I see a gay parade [in trips to the West], it’s too much of a masquerade for attention,” Zahar said. “You don’t need that. Women’s rights, gay rights—why? Get your rights without being too loud.”
Embracing gay identity, generally viewed in the West as the path to fuller rights, could backfire in Saudi Arabia. The idea of being gay, as opposed to simply acting on sexual urges, may bring with it a deeper sense of shame...
He tried to rally the community and encourage basic rights—like the right not to be imprisoned. But the locals took him aside and warned him to keep his mouth shut. They told him, “You’ve got everything a gay person could ever want.”"
Meanwhile in Singapore, activists are still hung up over 377A.
***
Saudi gays flaunt new freedoms: 'Straights can't kiss in public or hold hands like us'
"The paradox of Saudi Arabia is that while the executioner's sword awaits anyone convicted of the crime of sodomy, in practice homosexuality is tolerated.
"I don't feel oppressed at all," said one, a 23-year-old who was meeting in one of the coffee shops with a group of self-identified "gay" Saudi friends dressed in Western clothes and speaking fluent English. "I heard that after 11 September, a Saudi student who was going to be deported on a visa technicality applied for political asylum because he was gay," he added, provoking laughter from the others. "What was he thinking of? We have more freedom here than straight couples. After all, they can't kiss in public like we can, or stroll down the street holding one another's hand."
Saudi Arabia's domestic reform initiative, combined with the kingdom's eagerness to shed an international reputation for fostering extremism and intolerance, may even have some benefits for this strict Islamic society's gay community. Shortly after the attacks on America - most of the suicide-hijackers were Saudi nationals - a Saudi diplomat in Washington denied that the kingdom beheads homosexuals, while openly admitting that "sodomy" is practised by consenting males in Saudi Arabia "on a daily basis". Even the head of the notorious religious police has since acknowledged the existence of a local gay population.
The treatment of gay men here received international attention when an Interior Ministry statement reported in January 2002 that three men in the southern city of Abha had been "beheaded for homosexuality". The report provoked widespread condemnation from gay and human-rights groups in the West - and a swift denial from an official at the Saudi embassy in Washington, DC. Tariq Allegany, an embassy spokesman, said the three were beheaded for the sexual abuse of boys. He said: "I would guess there's sodomy going on daily in Saudi Arabia, but we don't have executions for it all the time."
A Riyadh-based Western diplomat, aware of the details of the case, confirmed the men were beheaded for "rape". "The three men seduced a number of very young boys and videoed themselves raping them. Then they used the recordings, and the fear the boys had of being exposed, to get the youngsters to recruit their friends," he said.
While homosexuality is illegal in Saudi Arabia, doubt surrounds specific punishment for it. Some gay foreigners were deported in the 1990s, "but no Saudi has ever been prosecuted for 'being a homosexual'...
In an unprecedented two-page special investigation, the daily newspaper Okaz said lesbianism was "endemic" among schoolgirls. It justified the article with a saying of the Prophet's wife Ayeshathat "there should be no shyness in religion". The article told of lesbian sex in school lavatories, girls stigmatised after refusing the advances of their fellow students, and teachers complaining that none of the girls were willing to change their behaviour.
Mr Ghaith dismissed a suggestion that he should send his "enforcers" to investigate"
Post ID: 3942071970806303602
Monday, October 07, 2013
Ayn Rand vs Lord of the Rings
"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
- Kung Fu Monkey: Ephemera 2009 (7) / John Rogers
- Kung Fu Monkey: Ephemera 2009 (7) / John Rogers
Post ID: 3786293699174649525
Sunday, October 06, 2013
Links - 6th October 2013
“No one who has something original or important to say will willingly run the risk of being misunderstood; people who write obscurely are either unskilled in writing or up to mischief.” - Peter Medawar
Down with Hegel!
***
In Socrates' Wake: More advice to students: How to write a #$%* essay - "Always begin your essay along these lines: “Since the very dawn of time the problem of free will has been considered by many of the greatest and deepest thinkers in history.”"
Rise of male student support groups sparks row at British universities - "Male students are "manning-up", setting up men's groups to celebrate and explore the concept of masculinity amid accusations of sexism and gender stereotyping. Manchester University has created the first official MENS Society – Masculinity Exploring Networking and Support – despite outrage from critics who claim the existence of such a group undermines women's ability to speak out for equality... Men, who could feel pressured to "man-up" in a mixed gender environment, might feel less vulnerable discussing such issues in a male-only setting."
It's telling that feminists are such noisy critics of these
Twitter Bios and What They Really Say - NYTimes.com - "The Twitter bio is a postmodern art form, an opportunity in 160 characters or fewer to cleverly synopsize one’s professional and personal accomplishments, along with a carefully edited non sequitur or two. It lets the famous and the anonymous, athletes and accountants, surreal Dadaists and suburban dads alike demonstrate that they are special snowflakes with Wes Anderson-worthy quirks."
20 of the world's most clever Twitter bios - "As I scoured the Twitterverse for the most clever bios, I also found some pretty bad ones, too! But they are also funny in their own strange way. I don’t want to embarass anyone so I’ve removed the handles, but I couldn’t resist some of these clunkers:
- Fascinated by transactional nature of counterknowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate (but don’t engender) counter-public spheres"
Chinese give teachers most respect: survey - "Chinese respect teachers the most, while Singapore gives them the best salary, according to a latest survey... China is the only country where the majority rank teachers as holding the same social status as doctors. Over 70 percent of Chinese respondents believe students respect their teachers... About 50 percent of the respondents in China said they would encourage their child to become a teacher."
Scheduling Sex: The Secret to a Passionate Marriage? - "To practice Personal Integrity in your relationship, you are probably going to have to schedule sex, or at least commit to it X times per week. My husband and I have two young children and we both work more than full time, and yet we still promise each other that we will have sex twice per week. Sex is after all what distinguishes our relationship from a really good friendship. We honor that commitment, to differentiate our relationship, no matter what. Just to make sure we do, we have designed a "consequence" that we pay if we break our commitment: the next time we have sex, we have to have it outside of our warm, comfy bed. For some of you, this may be exciting, but I happen to love my cozy bed. What consequence would work well for you?"
Alleged pimp forced 15-year-old to have sex with 10 men a day in ‘high-end’ Richmond, B.C., apartment, court hears - "Mr. Moazami, now 29, would also bring around to various apartments a long-haired Chihuahua named Gucci. The dog was meant for the girls’ enjoyment, and as a manipulative device, according to witness testimonies. When the girls didn’t fall into line, he would hit the dog, step on its neck, threaten to kill it, court has heard."
22 Words | How to make people think you have a girlfriend with your right hand and Instagram [10 pics]
Read Sinead O'Connor's searing open letter to Miley Cyrus - "
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age. Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you... it’s sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with."
Comment: "Slut shaming, really? Do you even understand that term? Why don't you read some feminist literature besides Jezebel before you "pretend" to be PC and know what your talking about."
Who Takes the Lead Hand? Correlates of Handholding Position in Lesbian Couples - Journal of Homosexuality - "When couples hold hands, one partner must take the lead hand and the other the following hand position. As potential correlates or predictors of handholding positions within lesbian couples, we explored differences in height, age, income, who initiated the relationship, who usually initiates sexual intimacy, previous history of partnership with a male, and who has the most “say” in decision-making. Our data revealed only two significant variables: the taller partner was more likely to have the lead hand, and a woman who had previously been partnered with a male was more likely to take the trailing hand position."
There's a journal of homosexuality?
Real vampire website: Get turned into a vampire - "To get turned into a vampire you need to do a simple exchange of blood with a vampire. Even just a 1/4 teaspoon of blood is more than enough blood to turn you into a vampire... being a vampire, and the ability for you to get turned into a vampire is caused by an endogenous retrovirus... Vampires are everywhere. You don't have to go to any specific place to find a vampire, even a grocery store can be used to find a vampire. If you know how to recognize a vampire when you see one, then it will be almost as easy as finding a girlfriend or a boyfriend... Most people that claim to be a vampire, are not actually vampires. We refer to these people as posers, avoid these people if you want to get turned into a vampire. It is usually pretty easy to tell that they are fakes, common traits among posers are one or more of the following traits: 1. use white makeup to pretend to look pale, 2. fake fangs, 3. dress like hollywood vampires, 4. claim they don't need blood just energy, 5. claim to be over 100 years old. There is a group that calls itself the vampire community that is estimated to be 98% posers and the very few real vampires in that group aren't the ones that are running it."
Potential government shutdown: How would the U.S. media report on it if it were happening to another country? - "The typical signs of state failure aren’t evident on the streets of this sleepy capital city. Beret-wearing colonels have not yet taken to the airwaves to declare martial law. Money-changers are not yet buying stacks of useless greenbacks on the street."
Down with Hegel!
***
In Socrates' Wake: More advice to students: How to write a #$%* essay - "Always begin your essay along these lines: “Since the very dawn of time the problem of free will has been considered by many of the greatest and deepest thinkers in history.”"
Rise of male student support groups sparks row at British universities - "Male students are "manning-up", setting up men's groups to celebrate and explore the concept of masculinity amid accusations of sexism and gender stereotyping. Manchester University has created the first official MENS Society – Masculinity Exploring Networking and Support – despite outrage from critics who claim the existence of such a group undermines women's ability to speak out for equality... Men, who could feel pressured to "man-up" in a mixed gender environment, might feel less vulnerable discussing such issues in a male-only setting."
It's telling that feminists are such noisy critics of these
Twitter Bios and What They Really Say - NYTimes.com - "The Twitter bio is a postmodern art form, an opportunity in 160 characters or fewer to cleverly synopsize one’s professional and personal accomplishments, along with a carefully edited non sequitur or two. It lets the famous and the anonymous, athletes and accountants, surreal Dadaists and suburban dads alike demonstrate that they are special snowflakes with Wes Anderson-worthy quirks."
20 of the world's most clever Twitter bios - "As I scoured the Twitterverse for the most clever bios, I also found some pretty bad ones, too! But they are also funny in their own strange way. I don’t want to embarass anyone so I’ve removed the handles, but I couldn’t resist some of these clunkers:
- Fascinated by transactional nature of counterknowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate (but don’t engender) counter-public spheres"
Chinese give teachers most respect: survey - "Chinese respect teachers the most, while Singapore gives them the best salary, according to a latest survey... China is the only country where the majority rank teachers as holding the same social status as doctors. Over 70 percent of Chinese respondents believe students respect their teachers... About 50 percent of the respondents in China said they would encourage their child to become a teacher."
Scheduling Sex: The Secret to a Passionate Marriage? - "To practice Personal Integrity in your relationship, you are probably going to have to schedule sex, or at least commit to it X times per week. My husband and I have two young children and we both work more than full time, and yet we still promise each other that we will have sex twice per week. Sex is after all what distinguishes our relationship from a really good friendship. We honor that commitment, to differentiate our relationship, no matter what. Just to make sure we do, we have designed a "consequence" that we pay if we break our commitment: the next time we have sex, we have to have it outside of our warm, comfy bed. For some of you, this may be exciting, but I happen to love my cozy bed. What consequence would work well for you?"
Alleged pimp forced 15-year-old to have sex with 10 men a day in ‘high-end’ Richmond, B.C., apartment, court hears - "Mr. Moazami, now 29, would also bring around to various apartments a long-haired Chihuahua named Gucci. The dog was meant for the girls’ enjoyment, and as a manipulative device, according to witness testimonies. When the girls didn’t fall into line, he would hit the dog, step on its neck, threaten to kill it, court has heard."
22 Words | How to make people think you have a girlfriend with your right hand and Instagram [10 pics]
Read Sinead O'Connor's searing open letter to Miley Cyrus - "
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age. Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you... it’s sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with."
Comment: "Slut shaming, really? Do you even understand that term? Why don't you read some feminist literature besides Jezebel before you "pretend" to be PC and know what your talking about."
Who Takes the Lead Hand? Correlates of Handholding Position in Lesbian Couples - Journal of Homosexuality - "When couples hold hands, one partner must take the lead hand and the other the following hand position. As potential correlates or predictors of handholding positions within lesbian couples, we explored differences in height, age, income, who initiated the relationship, who usually initiates sexual intimacy, previous history of partnership with a male, and who has the most “say” in decision-making. Our data revealed only two significant variables: the taller partner was more likely to have the lead hand, and a woman who had previously been partnered with a male was more likely to take the trailing hand position."
There's a journal of homosexuality?
Real vampire website: Get turned into a vampire - "To get turned into a vampire you need to do a simple exchange of blood with a vampire. Even just a 1/4 teaspoon of blood is more than enough blood to turn you into a vampire... being a vampire, and the ability for you to get turned into a vampire is caused by an endogenous retrovirus... Vampires are everywhere. You don't have to go to any specific place to find a vampire, even a grocery store can be used to find a vampire. If you know how to recognize a vampire when you see one, then it will be almost as easy as finding a girlfriend or a boyfriend... Most people that claim to be a vampire, are not actually vampires. We refer to these people as posers, avoid these people if you want to get turned into a vampire. It is usually pretty easy to tell that they are fakes, common traits among posers are one or more of the following traits: 1. use white makeup to pretend to look pale, 2. fake fangs, 3. dress like hollywood vampires, 4. claim they don't need blood just energy, 5. claim to be over 100 years old. There is a group that calls itself the vampire community that is estimated to be 98% posers and the very few real vampires in that group aren't the ones that are running it."
Potential government shutdown: How would the U.S. media report on it if it were happening to another country? - "The typical signs of state failure aren’t evident on the streets of this sleepy capital city. Beret-wearing colonels have not yet taken to the airwaves to declare martial law. Money-changers are not yet buying stacks of useless greenbacks on the street."
Post ID: 3872795264488629044
Multiple Identities and Tolerance
"All generalizations are dangerous, even this one." - Alexandre Dumas
***
Social Identity Complexity and Outgroup Tolerance
"As one step toward understanding the structure of multiple social identities, Roccas and Brewer (2002) introduced the concept of social identity complexity. The idea behind the complexity construct is that it is not only how many social groups an individual identifies with that matters but, more important, how those different identities are subjectively combined to determine the overall inclusiveness of the individual’s ingroup memberships. More specifically, Roccas and Brewer proposed that multiple social identities can be represented along a continuum of complexity and inclusiveness, reflecting the degree to which different identities are both differentiated and integrated in the individual’s cognitive representation of his or her group memberships. At the low end of the complexity dimension, the individual defines the ingroup as the intersection of all of his or her group identities, creating a single, highly exclusive identity category (e.g., female Republican college professors) whereby others who do not share all of the same memberships are effectively outgroup members. At the high end of the social identity complexity dimension, the individual recognizes that each of his or her group memberships incorporates a different set of people as ingroup members and the combined representation is the sum of all of these group identities—more inclusive than any one ingroup identity considered alone...
Roccas and Brewer (2002) also speculated that social identity complexity (as represented by perceived overlap among ingroup memberships) would be associated with tolerance for outgroups in general. Social identity complexity is based on chronic awareness of crosscategorization in one’s own social group memberships and those of others. A simple social identity is likely to be accompanied by the perception that any individual who is an outgroup member on one dimension is also an outgroup member on all others. In contrast, if an individual is aware that one of his ingroups only partly overlaps with any other of his ingroups, then we assume that he is also aware that some of his ingroup members have crossed group memberships: They are ingroup members on one dimension but are simultaneously outgroup members on others. Making salient that an outgroup member on one category dimension is an ingroup member on another decreases bias by comparison with instances where the latter information is not available (Gaertner, Dovidio, Anastasio, Bachman,&Rust, 1993).
There are a number of theoretical reasons why a complex representation of ingroup categorization should influence intergroup attitudes and behavior in ways that reduce bias and discrimination. First, cross-cutting distinctions make social categorization more complex and reduce the magnitude of ingroup-outgroup distinctions. According to social categorization theory (Deschamps& Doise, 1978; Vanbeselaere, 1991), processes of intracategory assimilation and intercategory contrast counteract each other when categories are cross-cutting. Thus, the effects of intercategory accentuation are reduced or eliminated and differences between groups are minimized (or no greater than perceived differences within groups). This undermines the cognitive basis of ingroup bias. Second, partially overlapping group memberships reduce the evaluative significance for the self of intergroup comparisons, thereby undermining the motivational base for intergroup discrimination (Vanbeselaere, 1991). Third, multiple group memberships reduce the importance of any one social identity for satisfying an individual’s need for belonging and selfdefinition (Brewer, 1991), again reducing the motivational base for ingroup bias.
Finally, principles of cognitive balance (Heider, 1958; Newcomb, 1963) are also brought into play when ingroups and outgroups have overlapping membership. When another person is an ingroup member on one category dimension but belongs to an outgroup in another categorization, cognitive inconsistency is introduced if that individual is evaluated positively as an ingroup member but is also associated with others who are evaluated negatively as outgroup members...
Overall, the findings from the present study provide considerable support for our thesis that a cross-cutting category structure and multiple social identities with awareness of ingroup diversity provide an effective formula for reducing intergroup prejudice...
Exclusive definitions of the ingroup would be promoted when individuals have a high need for certainty or cognitive simplification. If multiple, overlapping ingroupoutgroup distinctions increase uncertainty about whether to classify others as ingroup members, a simplifying strategy that limits ingroup membership to those who clearly meet all criteria for shared identity reduces that uncertainty... when individuals, or social systems, are threatened by psychological, economic, or political loss, social identities will be defined more exclusively (less complexly) than under low threat conditions"
In other words, identity politics and the obsession of third-wave feminism with segmenting people into ever-smaller (and mutually exclusive) interest groups (under the guise of "kyriarchy") leads to intolerance.
Strong (and exclusive) identities also lead to intolerance.
***
Social Identity Complexity and Outgroup Tolerance
"As one step toward understanding the structure of multiple social identities, Roccas and Brewer (2002) introduced the concept of social identity complexity. The idea behind the complexity construct is that it is not only how many social groups an individual identifies with that matters but, more important, how those different identities are subjectively combined to determine the overall inclusiveness of the individual’s ingroup memberships. More specifically, Roccas and Brewer proposed that multiple social identities can be represented along a continuum of complexity and inclusiveness, reflecting the degree to which different identities are both differentiated and integrated in the individual’s cognitive representation of his or her group memberships. At the low end of the complexity dimension, the individual defines the ingroup as the intersection of all of his or her group identities, creating a single, highly exclusive identity category (e.g., female Republican college professors) whereby others who do not share all of the same memberships are effectively outgroup members. At the high end of the social identity complexity dimension, the individual recognizes that each of his or her group memberships incorporates a different set of people as ingroup members and the combined representation is the sum of all of these group identities—more inclusive than any one ingroup identity considered alone...
Roccas and Brewer (2002) also speculated that social identity complexity (as represented by perceived overlap among ingroup memberships) would be associated with tolerance for outgroups in general. Social identity complexity is based on chronic awareness of crosscategorization in one’s own social group memberships and those of others. A simple social identity is likely to be accompanied by the perception that any individual who is an outgroup member on one dimension is also an outgroup member on all others. In contrast, if an individual is aware that one of his ingroups only partly overlaps with any other of his ingroups, then we assume that he is also aware that some of his ingroup members have crossed group memberships: They are ingroup members on one dimension but are simultaneously outgroup members on others. Making salient that an outgroup member on one category dimension is an ingroup member on another decreases bias by comparison with instances where the latter information is not available (Gaertner, Dovidio, Anastasio, Bachman,&Rust, 1993).
There are a number of theoretical reasons why a complex representation of ingroup categorization should influence intergroup attitudes and behavior in ways that reduce bias and discrimination. First, cross-cutting distinctions make social categorization more complex and reduce the magnitude of ingroup-outgroup distinctions. According to social categorization theory (Deschamps& Doise, 1978; Vanbeselaere, 1991), processes of intracategory assimilation and intercategory contrast counteract each other when categories are cross-cutting. Thus, the effects of intercategory accentuation are reduced or eliminated and differences between groups are minimized (or no greater than perceived differences within groups). This undermines the cognitive basis of ingroup bias. Second, partially overlapping group memberships reduce the evaluative significance for the self of intergroup comparisons, thereby undermining the motivational base for intergroup discrimination (Vanbeselaere, 1991). Third, multiple group memberships reduce the importance of any one social identity for satisfying an individual’s need for belonging and selfdefinition (Brewer, 1991), again reducing the motivational base for ingroup bias.
Finally, principles of cognitive balance (Heider, 1958; Newcomb, 1963) are also brought into play when ingroups and outgroups have overlapping membership. When another person is an ingroup member on one category dimension but belongs to an outgroup in another categorization, cognitive inconsistency is introduced if that individual is evaluated positively as an ingroup member but is also associated with others who are evaluated negatively as outgroup members...
Overall, the findings from the present study provide considerable support for our thesis that a cross-cutting category structure and multiple social identities with awareness of ingroup diversity provide an effective formula for reducing intergroup prejudice...
Exclusive definitions of the ingroup would be promoted when individuals have a high need for certainty or cognitive simplification. If multiple, overlapping ingroupoutgroup distinctions increase uncertainty about whether to classify others as ingroup members, a simplifying strategy that limits ingroup membership to those who clearly meet all criteria for shared identity reduces that uncertainty... when individuals, or social systems, are threatened by psychological, economic, or political loss, social identities will be defined more exclusively (less complexly) than under low threat conditions"
In other words, identity politics and the obsession of third-wave feminism with segmenting people into ever-smaller (and mutually exclusive) interest groups (under the guise of "kyriarchy") leads to intolerance.
Strong (and exclusive) identities also lead to intolerance.
Post ID: 1085674371807720092
Friday, October 04, 2013
On sensitivity to criticism
Bala Senthil Kumar's answer to Indians On Quora: Has India bashing become a fashion on Quora? - Quora
"You should see the bashing the USA gets.
But it is India and Indians that are sensitive about all the wrong things.
India deserves the bashing it gets no less than any other subject, but it also gets a ridiculous number of kudos for things that are not accomplishments of any kind.
If a culture gets bashed, it is also the reason why it needs to be examined and corrected, not unduly protected. If people have confidence in their culture and way of life why would they be sensitive to criticism?
India lacks confidence because its hypocrisy is easily exposed, and the bottom line - rank 119 on the Human Development Index cannot be missed.
Proud of "thousands of years of civilization", but not ready to accept a royal screw up in merely sixty odd years of being a nation?
No, it doesn't mean we only bash - Bala Senthil Kumar's answer to India: What makes Indian people so awesome?
But the difference is that i wouldn't have to post it here to assuage anybody's feelings if the subject weren't "India"."
"You should see the bashing the USA gets.
But it is India and Indians that are sensitive about all the wrong things.
India deserves the bashing it gets no less than any other subject, but it also gets a ridiculous number of kudos for things that are not accomplishments of any kind.
If a culture gets bashed, it is also the reason why it needs to be examined and corrected, not unduly protected. If people have confidence in their culture and way of life why would they be sensitive to criticism?
India lacks confidence because its hypocrisy is easily exposed, and the bottom line - rank 119 on the Human Development Index cannot be missed.
Proud of "thousands of years of civilization", but not ready to accept a royal screw up in merely sixty odd years of being a nation?
No, it doesn't mean we only bash - Bala Senthil Kumar's answer to India: What makes Indian people so awesome?
But the difference is that i wouldn't have to post it here to assuage anybody's feelings if the subject weren't "India"."
Post ID: 5525371207142646516
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Feminist Privilege and Capitalism
Feminisnt » Freedom of association: Unpacking the most invisible privilege knapsack
"One of the things I've been dealing with as I've been moving out of the sex industry is a longing for the shocking degree of freedom one has as a sex worker. Even if you're not fully running your own business the way I have been, sex workers generally have the ability to reject clients, to move to another strip club, find a new escort service, work for a different studio, and overall, set a much greater number of boundaries than your average worker. While that statement seems bizarre - how can you have "boundaries" if a stranger can see your naked body or is even having sex with you? - boundaries come in more forms than ones based on chastity.
With the vast, vast majority of jobs, a worker has very little control over their working environment, boss, coworkers, and upward mobility potential. A typical waitress doesn't show up to shifts only on days she feels like working, bouncing between various restaurants depending on which she prefers at the moment, the way a stripper might. A nurse knows he'll never be able to start his own hospital and declare himself its chief of surgery, unlike a porn star who works hard and invests his money in starting his own production company. For all the endless criticism lobbed at the sex industry for being a measure of last resort and misery, there's a huge and unrecognized amount of freedom in it, both freedom of association and the ability for your hard work to propel you upwards. The sex industry is the true "American dream," in that tenacity, hard work, and creativity can take a person (usually with no formal training and little startup capital) from poverty to the middle class more easily than any other industry.
One of the things I've been thinking about more lately is the issue of "association privilege," both how I've been lucky to have it as a sex worker, and how it remains perhaps the most invisible privilege. When framed in that way, it makes obvious a particularly strong correlation between the shrill lefty feminists who rail endlessly about how everyone is too "privileged," yet themselves possessing the privilege to choose their work environment, bosses/editors, and business/activist contacts. (I've long maintained that nothing is more indicative of privilege than spending all day on the internet picking fights with strangers about how privileged they are.) If someone wants to refuse to associate with anyone who isn't also a socialist feminist wannabe-academic that adorns their virtual spaces with Audre Lorde quotes and Foucault references, they can easily live in such a bubble. There are plenty of such bores in neighboring regions of the blogosphere. (Where all of these people make money remains a mystery. While I know that two big names in the sexy feminist scene have secret rich male partners/husbands who bankroll their lifestyles of being internet pesonas, I don't know how the others do it. NGO jobs? Sporadic paid writing gigs? Trust funds? Secret sex work?)
It all reminds me of a favorite section from a piece in The Atlantic a while back, which perfectly sums up the completely un-checked privilege that runs rampant among those who have declared themselves the enforcers of privilege-checking."
***
I Choose My Choice! - Sandra Tsing Loh - The Atlantic
"As you may have heard, some 50 years after Betty Friedan sprang us from domestic jail, we women … seem to have made a mess of it. What do we want? Not to be men (wrong again, Freud!), at least not businessmen—although slacker men, sans futon and bong, might appeal. In these post-Lisa-Belkin-New-York-Times-Magazine-“Opt-Out” years, we’ve now learned the worst: even female Harvard graduates are fleeing high-powered careers for a kinder, gentler Martha Stewart Living. Not only does the Problem Have a Name, it has its own line of Fiestaware!...
Is the mass media to blame (again!) for pushing women out of the workplace? Not so much. On our zeitgeist-setting TV shows, it’s only the housewives who are desperate. Work is fun! The Manhattan working gals of Sex and the City, whose days revolve chiefly around dishing over cocktails, are essentially ’50s suburban housewives, trophy wives of (in this case) glamorous if emotionally distant New York jobs—skyscraper-housed entities with good addresses and doormen that handsomely fund their lifestyles while requiring that they show up to service them only infrequently, in bustiers and heels. I want a vague job like the one Charlotte has, in the art gallery she never goes to; or the lawyer job Miranda has (charcoal suits and plenty o’ time for lunch with the gals); or Samantha’s PR gig, throwing SoHo loft parties and giving blow jobs to freakishly endowed men (actually, that’s the one job I don’t want); I want to spend my days like “writer” Carrie, lolling in bed in her underwear, smoking and occasionally updating her quasi-bohemian equivalent of a MySpace page...
Hirshman fires with both barrels (Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) at today’s mommies, who are so busy sniffing the Martha Stewart paint chips that they have forgotten Friedan’s exhortation to get out and change the world...
Hirshman considers all stay-at-home mothers fish in her barrel (think fish pedaling tiny aquatic bicycles). No target is too small: Hirshman even tears mercilessly into the sleep-deprived new mothers who’ve made the unfortunate decision to share their rambling thoughts on something called Bloggingbaby.com... But in fact, Hirshman insists, the problem starts well before motherhood. It begins when young women enter college and violate Hirshman’s No. 1 rule of female emancipation: “Don’t study art.”
Why aren’t the women who are outnumbering men in undergraduate institutions leading the information economy? “Because they’re dabbling,” she snaps. Here’s yet another Problem That Has a Name: Frida Kahlo.
... She leaves aside the matter of whether women driven to make piles of money are the same ones likely to incite meaningful social change. If the Harvard stay-at-home mom walked away from an attack-dog corporate-lawyer job with Exxon, I, for one, would rather see her playing tag and climbing trees. And although Hirshman did work as a lawyer (lawyer, along with doctor and judge, is the kind of high-degree, socially relevant job she approves of), she then became a professor of philosophy and women’s studies. (Call the White House! We have a professor of philosophy on the line!)
Not that being an academic isn’t a hell of a lot of fun; in fact, its very pleasantness contributes to a bias peculiar to members of the thinktankerati. So argues Neil Gilbert, a renowned Berkeley sociologist, in A Mother’s Work: How Feminism, the Market and Policy Shape Family Life. According to Gilbert, the debate over the value of women’s work has been framed by those with a too-rosy view of employment,
Many of them can set their own hours, choose their own workspace, get paid for thinking about issues that interest them, and, as a bonus, get to feel, by virtue of their career, important in the world...
To be sure, attacking feminist criticism as being the extended whine of a privileged, educated upper class is as old as … well, as bell hooks’s 1984 critique of Friedan’s Feminine Mystique: “[Friedan] did not tell readers whether it was more fulfilling to be a maid, a babysitter, a factory worker, a clerk, or a prostitute than to be a leisure-class housewife.” It’s a point that keeps having to be made, though...
Further, in a development that would shock only today’s most radical feminists (where are those last two hiding? Buffalo?):
... Even providing a chilled martini at six o’clock and roast beef at seven to the legendary suburban alpha male of yore allowed most of one’s day to be fairly flexible. As for today’s poorer husbands, many of them are likely too tired from their job’s repetitious, socially invisible physical tasks—such as makin’ kahpies!—to continually oppress their wives...
Financial need is not the force behind women’s shift in the past 50 years from work in the home to work in the marketplace; rather, it is the desires of those who have made out like bandits in this new order, the tiny minority (3.5 percent in 2003) of women who earn $75,000 or more. Members of this occupational elite have created a host of cultural norms by which their far less privileged sisters—who, again, make up the vast majority of working women—feel they must abide. For Hirshman’s doctors, lawyers, judges, and professors, work has been terrific, so it’s no wonder they’ve advocated social change, imposing on society between the 1960s and the mid-1990s “new expectations about modern life, self-fulfillment, and the joys of work outside the home”...
Since the late 1990s, so-called family-friendly policies in Europe have been, as the Oxford sociologist Jane Lewis observes, “explicitly linked to the promotion of women’s employment in order to further the economic growth and competition agenda.” Women have achieved the freedom to join men on a more or less equal footing in the marketplace, which strengthens the notion that the only thing ultimately of value is one’s ability to turn a buck. The triumph of feminism, Gilbert reminds us (echoing those socially conservative men of the left, George Orwell and Christopher Lasch), has served the culture of capitalism...
From 1970 to 1990, a whopping 75 percent of Swedish jobs created were in the public sector … providing social welfare services … almost all of which were filled by women. Uh-oh. In short, as Gilbert points out, because of the 40 percent tax rate on her husband’s job, a new mother may be forced to take that second, highly taxed job to supplement the family’s finances; in other words, she leaves her toddlers behind from eight to five (in that convenient universal day care) so she can go take care of other people’s toddlers or empty the bedpans of elderly strangers. (As Alan Wolfe has pointed out, “the Scandinavian welfare states which express so well a sense of obligation to distant strangers, are beginning to make it more difficult to express a sense of obligation to those with whom one shares family ties.”)"
Funny, I thought housewives' lives were terrible and their work should be valued equally as that of working adults.
"One of the things I've been dealing with as I've been moving out of the sex industry is a longing for the shocking degree of freedom one has as a sex worker. Even if you're not fully running your own business the way I have been, sex workers generally have the ability to reject clients, to move to another strip club, find a new escort service, work for a different studio, and overall, set a much greater number of boundaries than your average worker. While that statement seems bizarre - how can you have "boundaries" if a stranger can see your naked body or is even having sex with you? - boundaries come in more forms than ones based on chastity.
With the vast, vast majority of jobs, a worker has very little control over their working environment, boss, coworkers, and upward mobility potential. A typical waitress doesn't show up to shifts only on days she feels like working, bouncing between various restaurants depending on which she prefers at the moment, the way a stripper might. A nurse knows he'll never be able to start his own hospital and declare himself its chief of surgery, unlike a porn star who works hard and invests his money in starting his own production company. For all the endless criticism lobbed at the sex industry for being a measure of last resort and misery, there's a huge and unrecognized amount of freedom in it, both freedom of association and the ability for your hard work to propel you upwards. The sex industry is the true "American dream," in that tenacity, hard work, and creativity can take a person (usually with no formal training and little startup capital) from poverty to the middle class more easily than any other industry.
One of the things I've been thinking about more lately is the issue of "association privilege," both how I've been lucky to have it as a sex worker, and how it remains perhaps the most invisible privilege. When framed in that way, it makes obvious a particularly strong correlation between the shrill lefty feminists who rail endlessly about how everyone is too "privileged," yet themselves possessing the privilege to choose their work environment, bosses/editors, and business/activist contacts. (I've long maintained that nothing is more indicative of privilege than spending all day on the internet picking fights with strangers about how privileged they are.) If someone wants to refuse to associate with anyone who isn't also a socialist feminist wannabe-academic that adorns their virtual spaces with Audre Lorde quotes and Foucault references, they can easily live in such a bubble. There are plenty of such bores in neighboring regions of the blogosphere. (Where all of these people make money remains a mystery. While I know that two big names in the sexy feminist scene have secret rich male partners/husbands who bankroll their lifestyles of being internet pesonas, I don't know how the others do it. NGO jobs? Sporadic paid writing gigs? Trust funds? Secret sex work?)
It all reminds me of a favorite section from a piece in The Atlantic a while back, which perfectly sums up the completely un-checked privilege that runs rampant among those who have declared themselves the enforcers of privilege-checking."
***
I Choose My Choice! - Sandra Tsing Loh - The Atlantic
"As you may have heard, some 50 years after Betty Friedan sprang us from domestic jail, we women … seem to have made a mess of it. What do we want? Not to be men (wrong again, Freud!), at least not businessmen—although slacker men, sans futon and bong, might appeal. In these post-Lisa-Belkin-New-York-Times-Magazine-“Opt-Out” years, we’ve now learned the worst: even female Harvard graduates are fleeing high-powered careers for a kinder, gentler Martha Stewart Living. Not only does the Problem Have a Name, it has its own line of Fiestaware!...
Is the mass media to blame (again!) for pushing women out of the workplace? Not so much. On our zeitgeist-setting TV shows, it’s only the housewives who are desperate. Work is fun! The Manhattan working gals of Sex and the City, whose days revolve chiefly around dishing over cocktails, are essentially ’50s suburban housewives, trophy wives of (in this case) glamorous if emotionally distant New York jobs—skyscraper-housed entities with good addresses and doormen that handsomely fund their lifestyles while requiring that they show up to service them only infrequently, in bustiers and heels. I want a vague job like the one Charlotte has, in the art gallery she never goes to; or the lawyer job Miranda has (charcoal suits and plenty o’ time for lunch with the gals); or Samantha’s PR gig, throwing SoHo loft parties and giving blow jobs to freakishly endowed men (actually, that’s the one job I don’t want); I want to spend my days like “writer” Carrie, lolling in bed in her underwear, smoking and occasionally updating her quasi-bohemian equivalent of a MySpace page...
Hirshman fires with both barrels (Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) at today’s mommies, who are so busy sniffing the Martha Stewart paint chips that they have forgotten Friedan’s exhortation to get out and change the world...
Hirshman considers all stay-at-home mothers fish in her barrel (think fish pedaling tiny aquatic bicycles). No target is too small: Hirshman even tears mercilessly into the sleep-deprived new mothers who’ve made the unfortunate decision to share their rambling thoughts on something called Bloggingbaby.com... But in fact, Hirshman insists, the problem starts well before motherhood. It begins when young women enter college and violate Hirshman’s No. 1 rule of female emancipation: “Don’t study art.”
Why aren’t the women who are outnumbering men in undergraduate institutions leading the information economy? “Because they’re dabbling,” she snaps. Here’s yet another Problem That Has a Name: Frida Kahlo.
Everybody loves Frida Kahlo. Half Jewish, half Mexican, tragically injured when young, sexually linked to men and women, abused by a famous genius husband. Oh, and a brilliantly talented painter. If I was a feminazi, the first thing I’d ban would be books about Frida Kahlo. Because Frida Kahlo’s life is not a model for women’s lives. And if you’re not Frida Kahlo and you major in art, you’re going to wind up answering the phones at some gallery in Chelsea, hoping a rich male collector comes to rescue you.
... She leaves aside the matter of whether women driven to make piles of money are the same ones likely to incite meaningful social change. If the Harvard stay-at-home mom walked away from an attack-dog corporate-lawyer job with Exxon, I, for one, would rather see her playing tag and climbing trees. And although Hirshman did work as a lawyer (lawyer, along with doctor and judge, is the kind of high-degree, socially relevant job she approves of), she then became a professor of philosophy and women’s studies. (Call the White House! We have a professor of philosophy on the line!)
Not that being an academic isn’t a hell of a lot of fun; in fact, its very pleasantness contributes to a bias peculiar to members of the thinktankerati. So argues Neil Gilbert, a renowned Berkeley sociologist, in A Mother’s Work: How Feminism, the Market and Policy Shape Family Life. According to Gilbert, the debate over the value of women’s work has been framed by those with a too-rosy view of employment,
mainly because the vast majority of those who publicly talk, think, and write about questions of gender equality, motherhood, and work in modern society are people who talk, think, and write for a living. And they tend to associate with other people who, like themselves, do not have “real” jobs—professors, journalists, authors, artists, politicos, pundits, foundation program officers, think-tank scholars, and media personalities.
Many of them can set their own hours, choose their own workspace, get paid for thinking about issues that interest them, and, as a bonus, get to feel, by virtue of their career, important in the world...
To be sure, attacking feminist criticism as being the extended whine of a privileged, educated upper class is as old as … well, as bell hooks’s 1984 critique of Friedan’s Feminine Mystique: “[Friedan] did not tell readers whether it was more fulfilling to be a maid, a babysitter, a factory worker, a clerk, or a prostitute than to be a leisure-class housewife.” It’s a point that keeps having to be made, though...
Employed women expressed a higher degree of enjoyment for shopping, preparing food, taking care of their children, and doing housework than for working at their jobs—an activity that was ranked at the next-to-lowest level of enjoyment, just above commuting to work.
Further, in a development that would shock only today’s most radical feminists (where are those last two hiding? Buffalo?):
When it came to interactions with different partners, the women ranked interactions with their children as more enjoyable than those with clients/customers, coworkers, and bosses.
... Even providing a chilled martini at six o’clock and roast beef at seven to the legendary suburban alpha male of yore allowed most of one’s day to be fairly flexible. As for today’s poorer husbands, many of them are likely too tired from their job’s repetitious, socially invisible physical tasks—such as makin’ kahpies!—to continually oppress their wives...
Financial need is not the force behind women’s shift in the past 50 years from work in the home to work in the marketplace; rather, it is the desires of those who have made out like bandits in this new order, the tiny minority (3.5 percent in 2003) of women who earn $75,000 or more. Members of this occupational elite have created a host of cultural norms by which their far less privileged sisters—who, again, make up the vast majority of working women—feel they must abide. For Hirshman’s doctors, lawyers, judges, and professors, work has been terrific, so it’s no wonder they’ve advocated social change, imposing on society between the 1960s and the mid-1990s “new expectations about modern life, self-fulfillment, and the joys of work outside the home”...
Since the late 1990s, so-called family-friendly policies in Europe have been, as the Oxford sociologist Jane Lewis observes, “explicitly linked to the promotion of women’s employment in order to further the economic growth and competition agenda.” Women have achieved the freedom to join men on a more or less equal footing in the marketplace, which strengthens the notion that the only thing ultimately of value is one’s ability to turn a buck. The triumph of feminism, Gilbert reminds us (echoing those socially conservative men of the left, George Orwell and Christopher Lasch), has served the culture of capitalism...
From 1970 to 1990, a whopping 75 percent of Swedish jobs created were in the public sector … providing social welfare services … almost all of which were filled by women. Uh-oh. In short, as Gilbert points out, because of the 40 percent tax rate on her husband’s job, a new mother may be forced to take that second, highly taxed job to supplement the family’s finances; in other words, she leaves her toddlers behind from eight to five (in that convenient universal day care) so she can go take care of other people’s toddlers or empty the bedpans of elderly strangers. (As Alan Wolfe has pointed out, “the Scandinavian welfare states which express so well a sense of obligation to distant strangers, are beginning to make it more difficult to express a sense of obligation to those with whom one shares family ties.”)"
Funny, I thought housewives' lives were terrible and their work should be valued equally as that of working adults.
Post ID: 5494877350545443545
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Why They Call It Work
"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." - G. K. Chesterton
***
Why They Call It Work
The halls are alive with the sound of carping. Last year, only 50% of U.S. workers were satisfied with their jobs, the lowest point yet in a steady decline that began in 1995, reports the Conference Board. And with the exception of a few anomalous years, job satisfaction in the United Kingdom has been dropping since 1991, according to research done at the University of Kent. Participants in these studies complained, among other things, about lack of personal fulfillment; “robotic,” meaningless work; work/life imbalance; insufficient acknowledgment of efforts; and lack of influence with supervisors.
Conventional wisdom blames such pervasive disgruntlement on poor leadership and lousy work environments. But have working conditions in the past decade really degenerated so much for so many? The decline in satisfaction has persisted in periods when employees have had tremendous leverage and when they’ve been lucky to have jobs at all. Moreover, the average worker spends more than two hours of each eight-hour workday surfing the Internet, conducting personal business, or just “spacing out.” That suggests many employees have autonomy and a manageable workload.
Maybe employees are dissatisfied because they have been taught to expect too much from their jobs. In the mid-1900s, organizational behaviorists concluded that great work environments would produce happy, productive workers. At the same time, humanists began arguing that work should be a vehicle for growth and self-expression. Those ideas became part of the conversation for companies and observers of companies, including management consultants and the business press. Employees, as a result, came to expect that their jobs would be satisfying and meaningful and that their employers would help them grow professionally and develop their “true potential.”
Such expectations represent a corporate ideal akin to the romantic ideal that guides some people in their quest for a mate. Those animated by the romantic ideal believe that they will someday find “the one” and embark upon a life of bliss untroubled by personal faults, limitations, and weaknesses. Fortunately, most mature adults eventually abandon that myth. Those who don’t not only are doomed to disappointment but make life miserable for their mates.
Similarly, employees animated by the corporate ideal believe in the existence of a “right” job that meets all the needs on their own, personalized versions of Maslow’s hierarchy. But even a good job in a good company is bound to produce disappointment. In time, these deluded souls will realize that the business is more interested in what they do than in who they are. They will be required to perform tasks they consider tedious or misconceived. They will find that their input is not always welcome. As a result, they will feel frustrated, disappointed, and demeaned.
Much misery could be avoided if employees held less-exalted ideals about work. Why does a job have to be meaningful and fulfilling? Isn’t it enough that work is simply worthwhile–which is to say worth the employee’s time, considering his or her circumstances? A former student of mine sells a remedy for irritable bowel syndrome, a job she doesn’t find particularly meaningful. But she does believe that for someone with her skills, experience, priorities, and goals, selling this product for this company is certainly worthwhile. Consequently, she believes that she has a good job. And she does. The pharmaceutical company she works for pays her a decent wage, provides good working conditions, and does not waste her time. That should be enough.
Employees should not demand that companies imbue their lives with meaning. Employers and employees have something the other needs. One of the keys to a mutually beneficial relationship is a realistic understanding of what that something is.
(The HBR List: Breakthrough Ideas for 2006 - 20. Why They Call It Work, E.L. Kersten)
***
Why They Call It Work
The halls are alive with the sound of carping. Last year, only 50% of U.S. workers were satisfied with their jobs, the lowest point yet in a steady decline that began in 1995, reports the Conference Board. And with the exception of a few anomalous years, job satisfaction in the United Kingdom has been dropping since 1991, according to research done at the University of Kent. Participants in these studies complained, among other things, about lack of personal fulfillment; “robotic,” meaningless work; work/life imbalance; insufficient acknowledgment of efforts; and lack of influence with supervisors.
Conventional wisdom blames such pervasive disgruntlement on poor leadership and lousy work environments. But have working conditions in the past decade really degenerated so much for so many? The decline in satisfaction has persisted in periods when employees have had tremendous leverage and when they’ve been lucky to have jobs at all. Moreover, the average worker spends more than two hours of each eight-hour workday surfing the Internet, conducting personal business, or just “spacing out.” That suggests many employees have autonomy and a manageable workload.
Maybe employees are dissatisfied because they have been taught to expect too much from their jobs. In the mid-1900s, organizational behaviorists concluded that great work environments would produce happy, productive workers. At the same time, humanists began arguing that work should be a vehicle for growth and self-expression. Those ideas became part of the conversation for companies and observers of companies, including management consultants and the business press. Employees, as a result, came to expect that their jobs would be satisfying and meaningful and that their employers would help them grow professionally and develop their “true potential.”
Such expectations represent a corporate ideal akin to the romantic ideal that guides some people in their quest for a mate. Those animated by the romantic ideal believe that they will someday find “the one” and embark upon a life of bliss untroubled by personal faults, limitations, and weaknesses. Fortunately, most mature adults eventually abandon that myth. Those who don’t not only are doomed to disappointment but make life miserable for their mates.
Similarly, employees animated by the corporate ideal believe in the existence of a “right” job that meets all the needs on their own, personalized versions of Maslow’s hierarchy. But even a good job in a good company is bound to produce disappointment. In time, these deluded souls will realize that the business is more interested in what they do than in who they are. They will be required to perform tasks they consider tedious or misconceived. They will find that their input is not always welcome. As a result, they will feel frustrated, disappointed, and demeaned.
Much misery could be avoided if employees held less-exalted ideals about work. Why does a job have to be meaningful and fulfilling? Isn’t it enough that work is simply worthwhile–which is to say worth the employee’s time, considering his or her circumstances? A former student of mine sells a remedy for irritable bowel syndrome, a job she doesn’t find particularly meaningful. But she does believe that for someone with her skills, experience, priorities, and goals, selling this product for this company is certainly worthwhile. Consequently, she believes that she has a good job. And she does. The pharmaceutical company she works for pays her a decent wage, provides good working conditions, and does not waste her time. That should be enough.
Employees should not demand that companies imbue their lives with meaning. Employers and employees have something the other needs. One of the keys to a mutually beneficial relationship is a realistic understanding of what that something is.
(The HBR List: Breakthrough Ideas for 2006 - 20. Why They Call It Work, E.L. Kersten)
Post ID: 2576157125390648928
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Why are some feminists rude and defensive?
"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." - Woody Allen
***
Gabriel Seah's answer to Feminism: Why are some feminists rude and defensive? - Quora
Question Details: "Why do many feminists post curt and rude responses when their statements or arguments are questioned? One would normally assume a civilized and thought out responses for an argument, well, it doesn't seem to be so. In past 1.5 years, I have been blocked by 3 people, all feminists, who didn't have an answer to my statements (my statements were against stereotyping my ethnicity or pointing out their ignorance, not against their ideology).
Why are opposing arguments ignored or attacked?"
Me: "I too find that feminists in general are rude and defensive, but perhaps it is not feminists per se but people who openly (and loudly) identify as feminists, especially online, who are the problem. Since you mention 3 feminists blocked you, I'm assuming you encountered them online.
It is significant that even the centre-left British magazine New Statesman had an article on this (There’s no point in online feminism if it’s an exclusive, Mean Girls club) where the writer, who even praises Andrea Dworkin (despite her being deeply problematic; The Dworkin Whitewash) got burnt by online feminists, and there are good examples there of the harsh words that were directed her way.
Part of the reason is due to a phenomenon that rears its ugly head in other areas: the online disinhibition effect (basically people are nastier online; Online disinhibition effect)
However, it goes beyond that, since I've found feminists I know (or knew) in real life to be this way as well.
The three major reasons, I think, are strong identification with feminism, the assumption of infallibility and a Manichean worldview.
We all have multiple identities. Research on tolerance shows that "A simple social identity is likely to be accompanied by the perception that any individual who is an outgroup member on one dimension is also an outgroup member on all others" (Page on The5f). In this context, if one strongly identifies as feminist (and this identification is very important to one's identity), one will be less tolerant of non-feminists. People who openly (and loudly) identify as feminists are thus less tolerant of non-feminists (we see this elsewhere too, among militant atheists, religious fundamentalists and ideologues in general).
Next, feminists seem to be incapable of imagining that they are wrong. Thus, people who disagree with them are wrong, and it just remains to be determined whether they are wrong because they are ignorant (in which case "education" is the answer), trolling (in which case the correct response is to ignore the "trolls"; related: Gabriel Seah's answer to Trolling: Why are some people obsessed with trolls of both the real and imagined variety?) or evil (where the 'misogynist' gets verbal abuse hurled at him).
As for the last, a Manichean worldview is a strongly polarised one: you are either good or evil and there is no middle ground. If you disagree with feminists, you are not just wrong but evil (because the opposite of feminist is, obviously, misogynist) and thus worthy of being insulted. This is especially so if you are male (and thus part of the Patriarchy, and guilty by association). Women are generally let off more easily but not spared (e.g. Camille Pagilla, Christina Hoff Sommers, Sarah Palin).
I also suspect that the reflexive (automatic) attitude of going against stereotypes (feminists love to champion the breaking of stereotypes) is responsible: since stereotypically women are supposed to be nice and polite, female feminists (since most feminists are female) are nasty.
Postscript: Feminists being rude is part of a larger phenomenon: Liberals tend to be ruder than their counterparts on the other side of the spectrum (Compassionate Liberals and Polite Conservatives: Associations of Agreeableness With Political Ideology and Moral Values) and more likely to block those they disagree with (Study: Liberals more likely to block social-media friends over political differences). For a prime example of this, you can look at PZ Myers's blog (Pharyngula - Just another site) which is full of he and his fans insulting people they disagree with (for example every time libertarianism comes up, the comments section is full of people slamming them as "assholes")"
***
Gabriel Seah's answer to Feminism: Why are some feminists rude and defensive? - Quora
Question Details: "Why do many feminists post curt and rude responses when their statements or arguments are questioned? One would normally assume a civilized and thought out responses for an argument, well, it doesn't seem to be so. In past 1.5 years, I have been blocked by 3 people, all feminists, who didn't have an answer to my statements (my statements were against stereotyping my ethnicity or pointing out their ignorance, not against their ideology).
Why are opposing arguments ignored or attacked?"
Me: "I too find that feminists in general are rude and defensive, but perhaps it is not feminists per se but people who openly (and loudly) identify as feminists, especially online, who are the problem. Since you mention 3 feminists blocked you, I'm assuming you encountered them online.
It is significant that even the centre-left British magazine New Statesman had an article on this (There’s no point in online feminism if it’s an exclusive, Mean Girls club) where the writer, who even praises Andrea Dworkin (despite her being deeply problematic; The Dworkin Whitewash) got burnt by online feminists, and there are good examples there of the harsh words that were directed her way.
Part of the reason is due to a phenomenon that rears its ugly head in other areas: the online disinhibition effect (basically people are nastier online; Online disinhibition effect)
However, it goes beyond that, since I've found feminists I know (or knew) in real life to be this way as well.
The three major reasons, I think, are strong identification with feminism, the assumption of infallibility and a Manichean worldview.
We all have multiple identities. Research on tolerance shows that "A simple social identity is likely to be accompanied by the perception that any individual who is an outgroup member on one dimension is also an outgroup member on all others" (Page on The5f). In this context, if one strongly identifies as feminist (and this identification is very important to one's identity), one will be less tolerant of non-feminists. People who openly (and loudly) identify as feminists are thus less tolerant of non-feminists (we see this elsewhere too, among militant atheists, religious fundamentalists and ideologues in general).
Next, feminists seem to be incapable of imagining that they are wrong. Thus, people who disagree with them are wrong, and it just remains to be determined whether they are wrong because they are ignorant (in which case "education" is the answer), trolling (in which case the correct response is to ignore the "trolls"; related: Gabriel Seah's answer to Trolling: Why are some people obsessed with trolls of both the real and imagined variety?) or evil (where the 'misogynist' gets verbal abuse hurled at him).
As for the last, a Manichean worldview is a strongly polarised one: you are either good or evil and there is no middle ground. If you disagree with feminists, you are not just wrong but evil (because the opposite of feminist is, obviously, misogynist) and thus worthy of being insulted. This is especially so if you are male (and thus part of the Patriarchy, and guilty by association). Women are generally let off more easily but not spared (e.g. Camille Pagilla, Christina Hoff Sommers, Sarah Palin).
I also suspect that the reflexive (automatic) attitude of going against stereotypes (feminists love to champion the breaking of stereotypes) is responsible: since stereotypically women are supposed to be nice and polite, female feminists (since most feminists are female) are nasty.
Postscript: Feminists being rude is part of a larger phenomenon: Liberals tend to be ruder than their counterparts on the other side of the spectrum (Compassionate Liberals and Polite Conservatives: Associations of Agreeableness With Political Ideology and Moral Values) and more likely to block those they disagree with (Study: Liberals more likely to block social-media friends over political differences). For a prime example of this, you can look at PZ Myers's blog (Pharyngula - Just another site) which is full of he and his fans insulting people they disagree with (for example every time libertarianism comes up, the comments section is full of people slamming them as "assholes")"
Post ID: 7007755096091942508
Monday, September 30, 2013
Links - 30th September 2013
"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying." - Bertrand Russell
***
'Feminists are man-hating and unhygienic': How negative activists stereotypes remain barriers - "people were more motivated to adopt pro-environmental behaviors after reading the articles written by the ‘atypical’ or 'undefined' environmentalist, than the 'typical' activist. Psychologist Nadia Bashir and her team conclude: 'Unfortunately, the very nature of activism leads to negative stereotyping. 'By aggressively promoting change and advocating unconventional practices, activists become associated with hostile militancy and unconventionality or eccentricity. '[People] may be more receptive to advocates who defy stereotypes by coming across as pleasant and approachable.’"
Funny, I thought shouting at people was the best way to persuade them to your point of view
How Google Play DRM promotes piracy - "Jim O’Donnell was away in Singapore attending a library conference when he saw that his iPad’s Google Play app needed to be updated. In Google Play’s case, the app erases the books and re-downloads them once the app is updated. With almost 40 books in his library, he was suddenly unable to download them since Singapore isn’t an approved Google Play Books region."
How Selfies Are Ruining Your Relationships - "people who constantly share photos of themselves generally tend to have more shallow personal relationships. Admittedly, this won’t come as a huge surprise to regular Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram users, but now there’s data to support our nagging suspicions."
iOS 7 users destroy iPhones after fake waterproof advert - "In an emergency, a smart-switch will shut off the phone’s power supply and corresponding components to prevent any damage to your iPhone’s delicate circuitry"
What your email sign-off really means - "You can sign off with “regards”, which means, quite literally, “I have no regard for you at all”. Or you can use the more extreme “warmest regards”, which means, “never contact me again you insufferable bastard”. Then there’s “yours”, which means, “I don’t even know who you are or what you wrote to me about”, and its cousin, “yours sincerely”, which means, “you owe me money and I will make your life a living hell until I get it”."
Camille Paglia - 'I don't get along with lesbians at all. They don't like me, and I don't like them' - ""But the feminist culture-wars were at their height at that time," she says. "A lot of that's completely gone now. Some of the principal antagonists are dead, like Andrea Dworkin. Basically, what happened is that my side won that war. The younger women of the Nineties rose up and embraced this. I," she says, with a sudden spurt of generosity, "credit Madonna. For decades, feminism had rejected Hollywood, sex symbols and fashion magazines and so on. Younger women have no problem in reconciling beauty with ambitions as a professional woman"... "The plastic surgery issue is really looming," says Paglia when I raise it, "because girls in the US are getting it in their teens". She won't say they shouldn't, but then I didn't think she would. Paglia has been described as a "radical libertarian". She thinks people should be free, in the private realm, to do what they like. They should be free to take drugs if they want to, and enjoy porn if they want to. And they should certainly be free to change the way they look. "I believe," she says, "that everybody has the right to view his or her own body as a palette. However, I think intellectuals should at least try to be role models. I'm going to really try to avoid it unless I get to the point where I'm actually scaring the horses"... "I had no sex life," she says, "but I was writing a dissertation on sex"... The thing that shocked me most was how many of her views seemed to me like common sense. I agree with Camille Paglia that many feminists have underestimated the power of hormones in human behaviour and the creative power of sexual desire. I agree with her that many feminists have a Rousseau-ian view of human nature where they expect to be able to dress as they like, and go where they like, and drink as they like, and never come to harm. I agree that women who stay in abusive relationships are complicit in the violence. I even agree with her about the link between male obsession and achievement. I think it's quite possible that there is "no woman Mozart because there is no woman Jack the Ripper". And I absolutely agree about the damage postmodernism and its boring theories have done to culture and art... "The reason I was angry all the time was that Gloria Steinem and all those people, without reading my work, were saying all these horrible things against me. Woah!" she says. "I'm Italian, OK. So I went on the warpath.""
Honk if you like minorities: Vuvuzela attitudes predict outgroup liking - "the less participants liked vuvuzelas, the less positively they also tended to feel toward minority groups. Furthermore, respondents who liked vuvuzelas the least were also less generally open to change. These findings suggest that the vuvuzela controversy was about more than just a plastic trumpet – it was also an episode of differential ingroup/outgroup perceptions and a lack of openness to new things"
Every Sci-Fi Starship Ever*, In One Mindblowing Comparison Chart
A rare insight into Kowloon Walled City
Height and Male Attractiveness - "men without children are on average three cm. (1.2 inches) shorter than those with at least one child... The only age group with men that were not "significantly" taller than the childless group was men in their fifties. The authors credit that to the fact that these men entered the marriage market after World War II, when men were in short supply... These studies point to a "strong universal tendency" and need to be done in many different places. "A lot of people with good hearts really don't want to believe that something you're simply born with ... somehow has that much impact on your course in life. It's unfair, and yeah it is unfair, but it also tends to be true, and the more people that actually document this carefully, the better""
There’s no point in online feminism if it’s an exclusive, Mean Girls club - "Ever tried to engage with feminism on the internet? I’ve had to start differentiating between feminism – good honest feminism in all its manifestations from Luce Irigaray, to Greenham Common, to Andrea Dworkin and even (although the Lord knows, she’s not to my taste) Camille Paglia – and what I’ve started calling the Online Wimmin Mob. The latter is meant to sound insulting. Borderline misogynist if you like, and there’s a reason for that: the Online Wimmin Mob don’t seem to like feminism. There’s not much evidence that they like women very much. Perhaps this is the reason that they don’t want you to be a feminist either. If you try to join the club that they seem to believe they have seized control of, you too will be told that there are no vacancies. No room for you, with your “privilege”... The Online Wimmin Mob takes offence everywhere, but particularly at other women who are not in their little Mean Girls club, which has their own over-stylised and impenetrable language, rules and disciplinary proceedings. “Check your privilege!” This has become the rallying cry of the Mob when faced with a woman with whom they disagree... about 35 per cent of the world’s population has access to the internet. Everyone on Twitter is privileged. Everyone. Claiming “unprivileged” underdog status when you are in the top 35 per cent of the entire world makes you sound like the sort of annoying princess who screams that it’s just not fair and she hates you because she only got an iPhone and a pony for Christmas... “Checking your privilege” is about playing an inverted game of Top Trumps where the real message is that it’s not who you are but how you were born that determines whether what you have to say is worth listening to. It’s not a dissimilar message to that of your average bar room sexist – or transphobe for that matter - but so much more depressing coming from our own side... If you are a member of the Mob, you spend your evenings in noble pursuits. Namely, picking up on ill-considered comments on the internet (which are often, although admittedly not always, well-meant but made in ignorance) and encouraging all your mates to weigh in to beat up on the woman. Is this beginning to sound like an evening out with the patriarchy to anyone else?... anyone who thinks that anything can be achieved on Twitter at 2am has no business feeling superior to anybody."
But then, they do that to men too...
Why people who boast about their IQ are (generally) losers - "If Stephen Hawking wanted to brag about how clever he is, his IQ (however high it may be) would come a long way down the list of braggables like “I held the Lucasian chair in mathematics at Cambridge” or “I discovered Hawking radiation”... In contrast, it might still be worth bragging about your IQ if you haven’t achieved much"
Are Singaporean workers... expensive & entitled? - "Mr V. S. Kumar, managing director of local courier company Network Express Courier Services, says Singaporean workers only seem motivated just to do enough and have no qualms about dropping everything and leaving on the dot at 5.30pm every day. However, his staff from India, the Philippines and Vietnam are keen to stay back after office hours to learn new skills... "If you're talking about the ability to present their ideas, to communicate, then, in general, local PMETs are behind their Western counterparts. The differences might be down to culture and the respective education systems." When they do speak up, however, it is to demand things such as more work-life balance and faster promotions... he says a bit of perspective is needed: "Comparing the entire Singaporean workforce with this small select group of employees who left their home country to make it into another country to work here, naturally they would be more driven"... A recent survey of 6,000 university students here by consultancy Universum found that the main thing they want from their careers is work-life balance, beating job security, intellectual challenge and an international career."
I thought Singaporeans love to do OT for the sake of doing OT
***
'Feminists are man-hating and unhygienic': How negative activists stereotypes remain barriers - "people were more motivated to adopt pro-environmental behaviors after reading the articles written by the ‘atypical’ or 'undefined' environmentalist, than the 'typical' activist. Psychologist Nadia Bashir and her team conclude: 'Unfortunately, the very nature of activism leads to negative stereotyping. 'By aggressively promoting change and advocating unconventional practices, activists become associated with hostile militancy and unconventionality or eccentricity. '[People] may be more receptive to advocates who defy stereotypes by coming across as pleasant and approachable.’"
Funny, I thought shouting at people was the best way to persuade them to your point of view
How Google Play DRM promotes piracy - "Jim O’Donnell was away in Singapore attending a library conference when he saw that his iPad’s Google Play app needed to be updated. In Google Play’s case, the app erases the books and re-downloads them once the app is updated. With almost 40 books in his library, he was suddenly unable to download them since Singapore isn’t an approved Google Play Books region."
How Selfies Are Ruining Your Relationships - "people who constantly share photos of themselves generally tend to have more shallow personal relationships. Admittedly, this won’t come as a huge surprise to regular Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram users, but now there’s data to support our nagging suspicions."
iOS 7 users destroy iPhones after fake waterproof advert - "In an emergency, a smart-switch will shut off the phone’s power supply and corresponding components to prevent any damage to your iPhone’s delicate circuitry"
What your email sign-off really means - "You can sign off with “regards”, which means, quite literally, “I have no regard for you at all”. Or you can use the more extreme “warmest regards”, which means, “never contact me again you insufferable bastard”. Then there’s “yours”, which means, “I don’t even know who you are or what you wrote to me about”, and its cousin, “yours sincerely”, which means, “you owe me money and I will make your life a living hell until I get it”."
Camille Paglia - 'I don't get along with lesbians at all. They don't like me, and I don't like them' - ""But the feminist culture-wars were at their height at that time," she says. "A lot of that's completely gone now. Some of the principal antagonists are dead, like Andrea Dworkin. Basically, what happened is that my side won that war. The younger women of the Nineties rose up and embraced this. I," she says, with a sudden spurt of generosity, "credit Madonna. For decades, feminism had rejected Hollywood, sex symbols and fashion magazines and so on. Younger women have no problem in reconciling beauty with ambitions as a professional woman"... "The plastic surgery issue is really looming," says Paglia when I raise it, "because girls in the US are getting it in their teens". She won't say they shouldn't, but then I didn't think she would. Paglia has been described as a "radical libertarian". She thinks people should be free, in the private realm, to do what they like. They should be free to take drugs if they want to, and enjoy porn if they want to. And they should certainly be free to change the way they look. "I believe," she says, "that everybody has the right to view his or her own body as a palette. However, I think intellectuals should at least try to be role models. I'm going to really try to avoid it unless I get to the point where I'm actually scaring the horses"... "I had no sex life," she says, "but I was writing a dissertation on sex"... The thing that shocked me most was how many of her views seemed to me like common sense. I agree with Camille Paglia that many feminists have underestimated the power of hormones in human behaviour and the creative power of sexual desire. I agree with her that many feminists have a Rousseau-ian view of human nature where they expect to be able to dress as they like, and go where they like, and drink as they like, and never come to harm. I agree that women who stay in abusive relationships are complicit in the violence. I even agree with her about the link between male obsession and achievement. I think it's quite possible that there is "no woman Mozart because there is no woman Jack the Ripper". And I absolutely agree about the damage postmodernism and its boring theories have done to culture and art... "The reason I was angry all the time was that Gloria Steinem and all those people, without reading my work, were saying all these horrible things against me. Woah!" she says. "I'm Italian, OK. So I went on the warpath.""
Honk if you like minorities: Vuvuzela attitudes predict outgroup liking - "the less participants liked vuvuzelas, the less positively they also tended to feel toward minority groups. Furthermore, respondents who liked vuvuzelas the least were also less generally open to change. These findings suggest that the vuvuzela controversy was about more than just a plastic trumpet – it was also an episode of differential ingroup/outgroup perceptions and a lack of openness to new things"
Every Sci-Fi Starship Ever*, In One Mindblowing Comparison Chart
A rare insight into Kowloon Walled City
Height and Male Attractiveness - "men without children are on average three cm. (1.2 inches) shorter than those with at least one child... The only age group with men that were not "significantly" taller than the childless group was men in their fifties. The authors credit that to the fact that these men entered the marriage market after World War II, when men were in short supply... These studies point to a "strong universal tendency" and need to be done in many different places. "A lot of people with good hearts really don't want to believe that something you're simply born with ... somehow has that much impact on your course in life. It's unfair, and yeah it is unfair, but it also tends to be true, and the more people that actually document this carefully, the better""
There’s no point in online feminism if it’s an exclusive, Mean Girls club - "Ever tried to engage with feminism on the internet? I’ve had to start differentiating between feminism – good honest feminism in all its manifestations from Luce Irigaray, to Greenham Common, to Andrea Dworkin and even (although the Lord knows, she’s not to my taste) Camille Paglia – and what I’ve started calling the Online Wimmin Mob. The latter is meant to sound insulting. Borderline misogynist if you like, and there’s a reason for that: the Online Wimmin Mob don’t seem to like feminism. There’s not much evidence that they like women very much. Perhaps this is the reason that they don’t want you to be a feminist either. If you try to join the club that they seem to believe they have seized control of, you too will be told that there are no vacancies. No room for you, with your “privilege”... The Online Wimmin Mob takes offence everywhere, but particularly at other women who are not in their little Mean Girls club, which has their own over-stylised and impenetrable language, rules and disciplinary proceedings. “Check your privilege!” This has become the rallying cry of the Mob when faced with a woman with whom they disagree... about 35 per cent of the world’s population has access to the internet. Everyone on Twitter is privileged. Everyone. Claiming “unprivileged” underdog status when you are in the top 35 per cent of the entire world makes you sound like the sort of annoying princess who screams that it’s just not fair and she hates you because she only got an iPhone and a pony for Christmas... “Checking your privilege” is about playing an inverted game of Top Trumps where the real message is that it’s not who you are but how you were born that determines whether what you have to say is worth listening to. It’s not a dissimilar message to that of your average bar room sexist – or transphobe for that matter - but so much more depressing coming from our own side... If you are a member of the Mob, you spend your evenings in noble pursuits. Namely, picking up on ill-considered comments on the internet (which are often, although admittedly not always, well-meant but made in ignorance) and encouraging all your mates to weigh in to beat up on the woman. Is this beginning to sound like an evening out with the patriarchy to anyone else?... anyone who thinks that anything can be achieved on Twitter at 2am has no business feeling superior to anybody."
But then, they do that to men too...
Why people who boast about their IQ are (generally) losers - "If Stephen Hawking wanted to brag about how clever he is, his IQ (however high it may be) would come a long way down the list of braggables like “I held the Lucasian chair in mathematics at Cambridge” or “I discovered Hawking radiation”... In contrast, it might still be worth bragging about your IQ if you haven’t achieved much"
Are Singaporean workers... expensive & entitled? - "Mr V. S. Kumar, managing director of local courier company Network Express Courier Services, says Singaporean workers only seem motivated just to do enough and have no qualms about dropping everything and leaving on the dot at 5.30pm every day. However, his staff from India, the Philippines and Vietnam are keen to stay back after office hours to learn new skills... "If you're talking about the ability to present their ideas, to communicate, then, in general, local PMETs are behind their Western counterparts. The differences might be down to culture and the respective education systems." When they do speak up, however, it is to demand things such as more work-life balance and faster promotions... he says a bit of perspective is needed: "Comparing the entire Singaporean workforce with this small select group of employees who left their home country to make it into another country to work here, naturally they would be more driven"... A recent survey of 6,000 university students here by consultancy Universum found that the main thing they want from their careers is work-life balance, beating job security, intellectual challenge and an international career."
I thought Singaporeans love to do OT for the sake of doing OT
Post ID: 4660771199750227467
Saturday, September 28, 2013
On wanting to be grown up
“Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
--- On Three Ways of Writing for Children / CS Lewis
--- On Three Ways of Writing for Children / CS Lewis
Post ID: 2701172983337615741
Friday, September 27, 2013
Links - 27th September 2013
"Anthropology Without Science - "In the past, archaeologists and practicing and professional anthropologists have argued that the discipline as a whole has become dominated by cultural anthropologists, and has grown indifferent to their interests. More fundamentally, the dispute has brought to light how little common ground is shared by anthropologists who span a wide array of sub-specialties... "It’s become so dominated by, not so much humanistic scholars, but by scholars who are actively hostile" to science, said Raymond Hames, chair of anthropology at the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, and a cultural anthropologist who favors a scientific approach... Culturally centered interpretations must be subjected to empirical evaluation, even if doing so exposes anthropologists to charges of disrespecting local customs in favor of the "hegemonic" scientific method, he said. He described a hypothetical field study in which children being studied in a community were found to be dying of dysentery or cholera. "Are we to accept the local explanation that children are dying ... because someone is breaking a taboo and the gods are angry," he said, "or do we look to see how fecal matter is being introduced to the water supply?""
The colonizing, privileging, superior positionality of anthropology that continues to plague the discipline: saving children's lives from Cholera since 1885
And people get upset when Pinker asks the humanities to embrace science
No Science, Please. We're Anthropologists. - "Presumably, in the AAA's tradition, the promotion of the "public understanding of humankind" will include anything that is politically unoffensive to the AAA leadership, and nothing offensive. It's safe to assume the AAA will not be promoting the public understanding of how human behaviors evolved, especially if those human behaviors are anything that might make some or all humans look violent, greedy, harmful to the environment, or (worst of all) sexually dimorphic... I was reminded why anthropologists refer to the annual conference as "the meetings," plural: it's because they go and meet with their own actual disciplinary types, in separate groups, so that the real scientists don't have to deal too much with the fluff-head cultural anthropological types who think science is just another way of knowing. Not all cultural anthropologists are fluff-heads, of course. You can usually tell the ones who are fluff-heads by their constant need to look like superheroes for oppressed peoples, and you can tell the non-fluff-heads by their attention to data. But the non-fluff-head cultural anthropologists are feeling utterly beleaguered in this environment that actively denigrates science and consistently promotes activism over data collection and scientific theorizing... "If we purge science from our mission statement we lose our credibility, the ability to advocate for effective change, and hence our power to do good. We become just another special interest group." Hames brought up a useful example, namely the recent ruling in Florida allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. In that case, the judge considered the scientific evidence showing that same-sex couples can be just as good parents as opposite-sex couples. Wrote Hames to me, "Evidence-based advocacy trumps special interest group advocacy." So, even if most of what the AAA wants to do is advocacy rather than data-driven scholarship, why ditch science in that pursuit?... "The willingness of some anthropologists to relinquish any claim to doing science is symptomatic of the low self-esteem among many colleagues. They are happy not to be held to a high standard of rigor in their research and writing and pleased to be judged by the more open-ended and subjective standards of humanistic research""
Science's Humanities Gap - NYTimes.com - "In his recent sermon to humanists, “Science Is Not Your Enemy,” the psychologist Steven Pinker makes an impressive plea for humanists to pay more attention to science and urges them to an interdisciplinary approach that he thinks has been sadly lacking. His general point is surely right: specialists in any area are likely to benefit from acquaintance with relevant work beyond their disciplinary boundaries. But it seems to me that Pinker mistakes his audience. On this issue, it’s humanists who are the choir and scientists who need a call to grace... philosophers of mind — David Chalmers is a striking example — who work in cognitive science are typically highly trained in that discipline. Few cognitive scientists and neuroscientists have comparably strong backgrounds in philosophy of mind"
Comments: "I have been studying and performing research in physics since high school. During this time I have never stopped studying the humanities. Most scientists I know live the same way... I took several upper level humanities courses as an undergrad, but never saw linguistics students nor historians in my probability and statistics courses, which I consider to be a huge mistake."
"At my little liberal arts college, most of us non-Humanists encourage our students to take courses in English, History, Philosophy, etc. And the faculty in those areas do not reciprocate. When we're in meetings and social events, and a lit professor starts talking about books and writing, we all understand the discussion; but when the topic is Economics, or Physics, or Mathematics, the Humanists are clueless."
"When someone doesn't know who William Shakespeare is, it is perfectly natural, almost instinctual for a lot of people to then judge that person as stupid, uncultured, uneducated... idiotic. But it is perfectly acceptable in our society for people to have no idea why the sky is blue, a most basic of scientific questions."
"I do not know a single working neuroscientist who takes Chalmers seriously"
"As a history major many years ago I was constantly bombarded by attitudes of resentment and blame towards the science depts. Resentment for their bloated budgets, blame for their birthing of "Social Darwinism" (class/racism), high explosives, nuclear weapons, and all other manner of evil"
Ex-editor of NEJM tells how Big Pharma has corrupted academic institutions
Arts sector can boost Singapore's competitive edge: Yaacob - "The government recognises the importance of the arts sector in providing an edge to our competitiveness. As such we are committed to growing the opportunities in this sector, by providing both funding and infrastructure support”
Chinese turtle 'addicted to smoking' - "The turtle allegedly picked up the unhealthy habit last month when Tang tried to remove a chicken bone stuck in its belly. The painful process agitated the creature and it tried to bite Tang. He put a cigarette in its mouth instead. The pet immediately started puffing away at the cigarette and has been hooked on nicotine ever since. Tang claims that the turtle keeps following
him whenever he smokes, Global Times reported. He now hopes to find a way to help his pet kick the habit since he can’t afford buying cigarettes for both himself and the turtle"
Shanghai restaurants made 'addictive soup' by using poppy
Chinese gaming addict poisons family to be 'free' - "A week before the poisoning, the boy’s mother scared him by threatening that if he visited these cafés again, she would cut his hamstring. "I think he really bought it and carried a grudge""
Where To Find The Smartest Commenters On The Internet - "Internet comments get a lot of flak, but some may be more intellectually challenging than others. BuzzFeed gathered comments from 15 news websites and ran them through Online-Utility.org’s readability
calculator...
15. Huffington Post
14. TMZ
13. Gawker
12. The Daily Caller
11. Politico
10. Chicago Tribune
9. CNN
8. Los Angeles Times
7. Mother Jones
6. Breitbart
5. Slate
4. Washington Post
3. Fox News
2. New York Times
1. The Atlantic"
Contrary to stereotypes, Fox News has some of the best educated commenters
Inspirational Instagram Cards - "Finally, inspirational Instagrams that won't make you throw up in your mouth...
"love, means never having to clear your browser history."
"pain is just weakness leaving your body in much worse shape than it was before."
"a simile is the prettiest thing you can wear on your ugly FACE.""
Cops: Professor Filmed Student "Upskirt" Videos - "A college professor who used a camera pen to secretly film under the clothing of two students explained to police that he was attempting to gather evidence that one of the women “was not wearing undergarments,” which he thought was “inappropriate”... When asked about the occasions during which he “directed the camera pen at students’ breasts,” Samuelson “acknowledged that this activity was ‘inappropriate’”"
Danish scholar analyzes religious texts, Islam most ‘violence and aggression towards other faiths’ - "A Danish linguist has spent over three years analyzing ten religions basic texts and concludes that the texts of Islam stands out by encouraging terror and violence to a greater extent than in other religion. Danish linguist Tina Magaard, an analysit that questions Islam’s relation to terrorism, violence and holy war worked on the three-year research project... Imams Ahmed Abu Laban and Abdul Wahid Petersen, both of Copenhagen, is strongly resentful of language researcher’s analysis. Abu Laban, “I will not be captured in a single stupid, biased and dishonest research. Why waste time on someone who will create a delusional about Islam?” Petersen calls the analysis “something researcher hogwash ‘"
Unveiling the Truth: Why 32 Muslim Women Wear the Full-Face Veil in France - "Contrary to the usual stereotype of Muslim women who wear the face veil, the majority of women whose voices are heard are like any other French woman with active social lives: working, attending classes, seeing friends, eating out, playing sports, and actively engaging in local activities... The report reveals that since the debate on the face veil began, a large number of the women have experienced verbal and sometimes physical abuse, and as a direct result have preferred to limit their time spent outside the home."
Shoebox » CHUCK & BEANS (comic) - ""Here's to geeky girls!"
The colonizing, privileging, superior positionality of anthropology that continues to plague the discipline: saving children's lives from Cholera since 1885
And people get upset when Pinker asks the humanities to embrace science
No Science, Please. We're Anthropologists. - "Presumably, in the AAA's tradition, the promotion of the "public understanding of humankind" will include anything that is politically unoffensive to the AAA leadership, and nothing offensive. It's safe to assume the AAA will not be promoting the public understanding of how human behaviors evolved, especially if those human behaviors are anything that might make some or all humans look violent, greedy, harmful to the environment, or (worst of all) sexually dimorphic... I was reminded why anthropologists refer to the annual conference as "the meetings," plural: it's because they go and meet with their own actual disciplinary types, in separate groups, so that the real scientists don't have to deal too much with the fluff-head cultural anthropological types who think science is just another way of knowing. Not all cultural anthropologists are fluff-heads, of course. You can usually tell the ones who are fluff-heads by their constant need to look like superheroes for oppressed peoples, and you can tell the non-fluff-heads by their attention to data. But the non-fluff-head cultural anthropologists are feeling utterly beleaguered in this environment that actively denigrates science and consistently promotes activism over data collection and scientific theorizing... "If we purge science from our mission statement we lose our credibility, the ability to advocate for effective change, and hence our power to do good. We become just another special interest group." Hames brought up a useful example, namely the recent ruling in Florida allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. In that case, the judge considered the scientific evidence showing that same-sex couples can be just as good parents as opposite-sex couples. Wrote Hames to me, "Evidence-based advocacy trumps special interest group advocacy." So, even if most of what the AAA wants to do is advocacy rather than data-driven scholarship, why ditch science in that pursuit?... "The willingness of some anthropologists to relinquish any claim to doing science is symptomatic of the low self-esteem among many colleagues. They are happy not to be held to a high standard of rigor in their research and writing and pleased to be judged by the more open-ended and subjective standards of humanistic research""
Science's Humanities Gap - NYTimes.com - "In his recent sermon to humanists, “Science Is Not Your Enemy,” the psychologist Steven Pinker makes an impressive plea for humanists to pay more attention to science and urges them to an interdisciplinary approach that he thinks has been sadly lacking. His general point is surely right: specialists in any area are likely to benefit from acquaintance with relevant work beyond their disciplinary boundaries. But it seems to me that Pinker mistakes his audience. On this issue, it’s humanists who are the choir and scientists who need a call to grace... philosophers of mind — David Chalmers is a striking example — who work in cognitive science are typically highly trained in that discipline. Few cognitive scientists and neuroscientists have comparably strong backgrounds in philosophy of mind"
Comments: "I have been studying and performing research in physics since high school. During this time I have never stopped studying the humanities. Most scientists I know live the same way... I took several upper level humanities courses as an undergrad, but never saw linguistics students nor historians in my probability and statistics courses, which I consider to be a huge mistake."
"At my little liberal arts college, most of us non-Humanists encourage our students to take courses in English, History, Philosophy, etc. And the faculty in those areas do not reciprocate. When we're in meetings and social events, and a lit professor starts talking about books and writing, we all understand the discussion; but when the topic is Economics, or Physics, or Mathematics, the Humanists are clueless."
"When someone doesn't know who William Shakespeare is, it is perfectly natural, almost instinctual for a lot of people to then judge that person as stupid, uncultured, uneducated... idiotic. But it is perfectly acceptable in our society for people to have no idea why the sky is blue, a most basic of scientific questions."
"I do not know a single working neuroscientist who takes Chalmers seriously"
"As a history major many years ago I was constantly bombarded by attitudes of resentment and blame towards the science depts. Resentment for their bloated budgets, blame for their birthing of "Social Darwinism" (class/racism), high explosives, nuclear weapons, and all other manner of evil"
Ex-editor of NEJM tells how Big Pharma has corrupted academic institutions
Arts sector can boost Singapore's competitive edge: Yaacob - "The government recognises the importance of the arts sector in providing an edge to our competitiveness. As such we are committed to growing the opportunities in this sector, by providing both funding and infrastructure support”
Chinese turtle 'addicted to smoking' - "The turtle allegedly picked up the unhealthy habit last month when Tang tried to remove a chicken bone stuck in its belly. The painful process agitated the creature and it tried to bite Tang. He put a cigarette in its mouth instead. The pet immediately started puffing away at the cigarette and has been hooked on nicotine ever since. Tang claims that the turtle keeps following
him whenever he smokes, Global Times reported. He now hopes to find a way to help his pet kick the habit since he can’t afford buying cigarettes for both himself and the turtle"
Shanghai restaurants made 'addictive soup' by using poppy
Chinese gaming addict poisons family to be 'free' - "A week before the poisoning, the boy’s mother scared him by threatening that if he visited these cafés again, she would cut his hamstring. "I think he really bought it and carried a grudge""
Where To Find The Smartest Commenters On The Internet - "Internet comments get a lot of flak, but some may be more intellectually challenging than others. BuzzFeed gathered comments from 15 news websites and ran them through Online-Utility.org’s readability
calculator...
15. Huffington Post
14. TMZ
13. Gawker
12. The Daily Caller
11. Politico
10. Chicago Tribune
9. CNN
8. Los Angeles Times
7. Mother Jones
6. Breitbart
5. Slate
4. Washington Post
3. Fox News
2. New York Times
1. The Atlantic"
Contrary to stereotypes, Fox News has some of the best educated commenters
Inspirational Instagram Cards - "Finally, inspirational Instagrams that won't make you throw up in your mouth...
"love, means never having to clear your browser history."
"pain is just weakness leaving your body in much worse shape than it was before."
"a simile is the prettiest thing you can wear on your ugly FACE.""
Cops: Professor Filmed Student "Upskirt" Videos - "A college professor who used a camera pen to secretly film under the clothing of two students explained to police that he was attempting to gather evidence that one of the women “was not wearing undergarments,” which he thought was “inappropriate”... When asked about the occasions during which he “directed the camera pen at students’ breasts,” Samuelson “acknowledged that this activity was ‘inappropriate’”"
Danish scholar analyzes religious texts, Islam most ‘violence and aggression towards other faiths’ - "A Danish linguist has spent over three years analyzing ten religions basic texts and concludes that the texts of Islam stands out by encouraging terror and violence to a greater extent than in other religion. Danish linguist Tina Magaard, an analysit that questions Islam’s relation to terrorism, violence and holy war worked on the three-year research project... Imams Ahmed Abu Laban and Abdul Wahid Petersen, both of Copenhagen, is strongly resentful of language researcher’s analysis. Abu Laban, “I will not be captured in a single stupid, biased and dishonest research. Why waste time on someone who will create a delusional about Islam?” Petersen calls the analysis “something researcher hogwash ‘"
Unveiling the Truth: Why 32 Muslim Women Wear the Full-Face Veil in France - "Contrary to the usual stereotype of Muslim women who wear the face veil, the majority of women whose voices are heard are like any other French woman with active social lives: working, attending classes, seeing friends, eating out, playing sports, and actively engaging in local activities... The report reveals that since the debate on the face veil began, a large number of the women have experienced verbal and sometimes physical abuse, and as a direct result have preferred to limit their time spent outside the home."
Shoebox » CHUCK & BEANS (comic) - ""Here's to geeky girls!"
Post ID: 8095591891136118219
Women and Love
"She must either suffer or lie to herself. Most often she clutches at the straw of falsehood. She fancies that the man’s love is the exact counterpart of the love she brings to him; in bad faith she takes desire for love, erection for desire, love for a religion. She compels the man to lie to her: 'Do you love me? As much as yesterday? Will you always love me?' and so on. She cleverly poses her questions at a moment when there is not time enough to give properly qualified and sincere answers, or more especially when circumstances prevent any response; she asks her insistent questions in the course of a sexual embrace, at the verge of a convalescence, in the midst of sobs, or on a railroad platform. She makes trophies of the extorted replies; and if there are no replies, she takes silence to mean what she wishes; every woman in love is more or less a paranoiac"
"Il faut donc qu’elle souffre, ou qu’elle se mente. Le plus souvent, elle s’agrippe d’abord au mensonge. Elle imagine l’amour de l’homme comme l’exacte contrepartie de celui qu’elle lui porte ; elle prend avec mauvaise foi le désir pour de l’amour, l’érection pour le désir, l’amour pour une religion. Elle force l’homme à lui mentir : Tu m’aimes ? Autant qu’hier ? Tu m’aimeras toujours ? Adroitement, elle pose les questions au moment où le temps manque pour donner des réponses nuancées et sincères, ou bien où les circonstances les interdisent ; c’est au cours de l’étreinte amoureuse, à l’orée d’une convalescence, dans les sanglots ou sur le quai d’une gare qu’elle interroge impérieusement ; des réponses arrachées, elle fait des trophées ; et, faute de réponses, elle fait parler les silences ; toute véritable amoureuse est plus ou moins paranoïaque"
--- Le Deuxième Sexe (The Second Sex) / Simone de Beauvoir
Post ID: 8183374981723121563
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Amusing My Paper article on dating
Going dutch on first date a no-no
Acing that first date can be a tricky affair, especially when one is nervous and unsure of what to expect.
My Paper gets tips from image consultant Suzenne Zheng, founder and master trainer at First Impressions Image International, ahead of Saturday's Singles Forum, which is organised by the Social Development Network.
Why are first impressions important? Isn't it unfair to judge a person based on his appearance?
It should be (based on) more than the person's appearance. We all think that it is unfair to judge, but the problem is that we all do.
Research in psychology has found that you tend to make an impression on somebody in less than 30 seconds. It makes sense that, in these 30 seconds, when you are presenting yourself to the world, you present the best (side of yourself).
Tests show that it takes a further 20 encounters for someone to change their opinion of you.
Conventional dating wisdom says guys should be the one who is more proactive. Is this true?
The girl can make the first move too. A lot of guys need to be pushed. If a girl calls a guy up for coffee a week after the first date, it's a form of encouragement for him.
In this modern age, why not split the bill for a meal on the first date?
A girl must never allow a guy to go dutch on the first date. It doesn't matter which century we live in, chivalry must (not die).
For a marriage to work, a man must still be a man, and a woman must still be a woman. For example, you don't expect a couple to split the cost of a washing machine for their family home.
Talking to a date can be pretty daunting. What topics should one talk about on the first date?
You must be able to strike up a conversation (with your date).
You don't have to know everything, but you should be up to date with what's current. For example, the news headlines of the day, popular movies that people are talking about and songs that people are currently listening to.
Will women carrying branded bags on dates scare guys away?
In other countries, say, China, the guy may think that the girl is hard to maintain (should she carry a branded bag to a date).
In Singapore, guys don't think of it the same way. Most of us work and earn our own keep. If you want a branded bag, the guy expects you to be able to pay for it yourself.
He may give you branded gifts if he can afford it. But don't expect such things from the start.
GWENDOLYN NG
Catch Ms Zheng and other relationship gurus at The Singles Forum 2013, to be held at the Joyden Hall in Bugis+ at 9am on Saturday.
Registration fee costs $25 (inclusive of tea break and buffet lunch). Sign up for the forum at www.singlesforum 2013.com. Registration ends today.
Make a good first impression
AS THE saying goes, first impressions count.
And when it comes to dating, first impressions can either score you a second date or turn the other party off totally.
To make a good first impression, here's a list of things you need to take note of:
Women are put off by guys with oily hair, nasal hair that is showing, a long nail on the last finger and dirty shoes.
Men are turned off by women with messy hair. According to image consultant Suzenne Zheng, 90 per cent of guys like girls with long, straight black hair.
If getting a perm is your thing, you should go for romantic bouncy curls. Curls that look like Maggi noodles are a no-no.
Men like women in kitten heels or court shoes with 2cm heels.
Killer stilettos give off aggressive vibes that tend to scare men off. And although ballerina flats are comfy, guys feel that these shoes aren't feminine enough.
On the first date, women should consider wearing light make-up, meaning just powder, lipstick and a little eyeliner.
Dramatic false eyelashes may brighten those peepers, but guys don't like them.
***
A: "... a man must still be a man, and a woman must still be a woman."
Oh ok. She better start washing those clothes so she can start making dinner on time.
B: I do expect my husband and I to split the cost of the washing machine.
Me: I still don't understand who's supposed to pay for the washing machine
C: Or whatever society deems to be the "correct" qualities of a man or woman... we are, each of us, individuals, and should not taint ourselves with the pressure of conforming into our so-called "proper" gender archtypes...
Such an archaic way of thinking... what of the man who wants to stay at home and nurse his own child, or the female who prides her independence and wishes to earn her own living?
Petty things like money should not be the cause of concern for whether a marriage would work. What's important is commitment, the want to sacrifice, companionship... not if the man pays for the fucking washing machine... >.>
D: This thread is awesome. The deliberations over the payment of a washing machine!
Me: the thing about social interaction is that other people have expectations of your behavior. You can behave however you want but this may be misunderstood.
If everyone follows different social scripts this will probably lead to a worse outcome for most people (e.g. the 90% of guys who like long straight black hair, who we can roughly assume are happy to conform to "proper" gender stereotypes) even if a minority benefit. It's like purposely driving on the left side of the road when everyone else is driving on the right.
That said if people were more forthright/honest then different scripts would work, since you would know what the other person was thinking. Unfortunately the realm of inter-gender relations is fraught with games and intrigue, so having common scripts is a necessary evil.
Post ID: 2080149141511044180
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Pense à moi
Pense à moi
pense à nous deux
après nos au revoirs.
Ne m'oublie pas
où que tu ailles
promets-le-moi ce soir.
Quand l'instant
te semblera venu
de regagner ta liberté,
Glisse-moi de temps à autre
là, dans tes pensées.
Oh non, jamais nous n'avons cru l'amour
irréprochable et infini.
Mais un jour si tu t'éloignes,
pense à moi aussi.
Pense au temps où tout semblait facile.
Dis-toi qu'après la pluie demain jubile!
Pense à moi
qui me réveille,
si seule et sans espoir,
qui rêve et prie
qu'enfin le temps
t'arrache à ma memoire.
Revis ces jours,
repense à ces instants.
Les petits riens semblaient si doux.
Il ne sera pas un jour
Sans que je pense à nous...
Fleurs et fruits, tout n'a qu'un temps ici.
Les grands élans ne durent pas.
Mais veux-tu me le promettre?
Pense aussi...
À moi!
pense à nous deux
après nos au revoirs.
Ne m'oublie pas
où que tu ailles
promets-le-moi ce soir.
Quand l'instant
te semblera venu
de regagner ta liberté,
Glisse-moi de temps à autre
là, dans tes pensées.
Oh non, jamais nous n'avons cru l'amour
irréprochable et infini.
Mais un jour si tu t'éloignes,
pense à moi aussi.
Pense au temps où tout semblait facile.
Dis-toi qu'après la pluie demain jubile!
Pense à moi
qui me réveille,
si seule et sans espoir,
qui rêve et prie
qu'enfin le temps
t'arrache à ma memoire.
Revis ces jours,
repense à ces instants.
Les petits riens semblaient si doux.
Il ne sera pas un jour
Sans que je pense à nous...
Fleurs et fruits, tout n'a qu'un temps ici.
Les grands élans ne durent pas.
Mais veux-tu me le promettre?
Pense aussi...
À moi!
Post ID: 3110517335271195080
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