My brother in law and sister, after having seen Star Wars II on the opening day at 12:30am in the morning, and where everyone clapped when the movie started and when Yoda appeared, no handphones rang and some girl came dressed as Padme (with white skin tight jumpsuit), went to see it a second time and brought me.
Luckily, this time the crowd was 'normal'! Yeh. None of the crazy fans who will queue for weeks for tickets or who make fan films. And I bet none of them have watched any of the films more than 10 times, unlike this boy who proudly told Alec Guiness that he'd watched the original 100 times and was promptly scolded.
Assorted scribblings:
- Why is everyone the apprentice of everyone else?
- The Maori couldn't suppress hid down under accent. Pity. Lucky all his progeny were not trained to speak like him.
- It's very obvious who Sidious is. When I first saw his hologram in Episode I, I knew straightaway.
- The level of technology went down in the 20 or so years between Episodes I and II and IV-VI. The stormtroopers lost their nice gunships and AT-AT transports. Of course, this has nothing to do with the 20 or so years that passed in real life between the making of these 2 trilogies.
- I hope Jar Jar dies a horrible death in Episode 3
- How come there are so few Jedi? And then they all got killed. How sad.
- Making C3PO Anakin's creation was not a good idea. Breaks the continuity, as neither show any signs of recognition in the 2nd trilogy
- What did they have Kenny Baker around for? Isn't R2D2 now fully non-human? Unless he makes the electronic noises himself
- If the Jedi let the Sith creep up on them like that, they deserved to have been exterminated!
- Political correctness is so evident. The new (Elected - bah) Queen of Naboo is Indian. Jango's a New Zealander. And some people have the cheek to complain about racism! But then they're species-ist. Aliens are all humanoid except for one guy with no legs but a snake's tail instead. Better than Babylon 5.
Why is Star Wars so popular? Even Not So Screwed Up Girl, who professes to hate it - "i think star wars is the most overrated, tacky bundle of scifi movies to spawn a following. i find the effects distasteful, the plots cheesey and characters ridiculous.", says she will watch it if she has the time.
My brother-in-law kept calling me his Padawan during lunch, so I poked him in the tummy. At other times, he's been scratching me on the nape of my neck like I'm some cat. The next time, if he treats me like a cat, I'll treat him like I was a cat (ignoring him, scratching him and hissing at him)!
I saw Dr Pepper in Liberty Plaza Singapore. And Dr Diet Pepper too. Ugh. And Diet Mug Root Beer! Wonder how the last tastes.
L'origine de Bert
Sunday, May 19, 2002
Bookout post:
Restored Post
This past week passed very fast, perhaps because it was very slack except for some unnameble activity. Which some guy, a lucky disruptee, elsewhere has seen fit to write about, so I'll just link you there :)
During our Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, people were very bored, so they started catching insects and other lifeforms in a ziploc bag. I saw a giant centipede, a worm and a giant spiders in the bag the first time. A while later, the spider was out of the bag and lying on a stone platform, unable to move. Apparently it'd been stung by the centipede and was paralysed. Later, the giant centipede was given company by a lizard, more spiders and smaller centipedes.
The people I was sitting with, however, chose to spend out time less destructively. We discussed cartoons, of the 80s especially (ahh, the joy of nostalgia). And for some reason Power Rangers came into the picture, and some of them liked Kimberly, my nickname-sake.
We had a big spring cleaning, which we should have done when we first moved in. The amount of dust we cleaned out was unbelievable. During the activity, I very cleverly smashed my handphone screen by holding the phone in the same hand as a brush and whacking the brush on the floor to get rid of the dust. Increasing my level of euphoria, my father sent it in for servicing already and I can't find my guarantee card, so I'll probably have to fork out $150 for the repair. Oh well, at least my slave pittance increases by at least $110 from July 1st.
In response to Folie's appeals for material to pin on the noticeboard, somebody brought a 2002 Pullout Calender from an asian edition of Penthouse magazine (with no nudity though). Attempts to cover the word "Penthouse" with liberal application of a black marker proved futile, however, and even if anything else had been put up on the board - it lies bare to this day, Saturday May 18th 2002, I'm not sure if the calender would have gone up.
Sargunan blasted Indian music through some speakers and within minutes, 2-3 Indians had come down from the upper floors and were grooving along.
We're supposed to do pullups before lunch and dinner, but for 3 weeks, we hadn't done any. Until Saturday lunch, when my pathetic attempts were as futile as ever.
Zhang's wife gave birth on sunday night/monday morning and the SAF gave him 3 days paternity leave, usable within 8 weeks. I suggested taking 1 of them on stretcher carrying day and one on river crossing day :)
Willie is the darling of the Bruneian girls so we all make fun of him :) He also brought in a Gameboy Colour which he plays at night. Actually I've also seen a Gameboy Advance, but I'm not sure whose it is.
People seem to have a FHM library - the American edition, the Malaysia edition (which I'm told sucks and is uninteresting) and back issues of the Singapore edition. Competition to loan from this library is intense.
A kitten got run down by some guy. As I was marching, I saw it on the road - the eyeballs were bulging out, the skin at the back was split and the internal organs were visible. And there was meat on the road. Ugh. The mother was mewing loudly for a few days after that. So much for cats being smart.
5 people ordered supper from Daniel Ng who was coming back from Attn C. His bag was full, so he carried the booty in his hands, and was promptly caught. All of them signed extra duties. Oh well.
Someone brought a CD in and it's been playing all week. I've tentatively called it "The most irritating dance music of all time". Ahhhh!
During our field camp we won't need to wear camo, it's 4 days and 3 nights but effectively ~72 hours as we arrive in the afternoon and depart in the afternoon, it's held on flat land and best of all we will get portable toilets (those plastic structures you see at outdoor functions)!.
Our company quartermaster is only PES B! And he sometimes puts a funky hairband in his hair. Oh, and he's Tony Tan's son. Or at least he said that he was. Whether he was joking or was trying to trick gullible looking me is the question.
For a change, during Tuesday's night off, I went to eat dinner with Steven and Daniel, at Pastamania at Scotts. It's very good for the price!
Joshua was reading FHM and he happened to mention that the girl there was the Yellow Ranger (and commented that she was hot). Looking at the article, who did I see but Cerina Vincent, whom you can see on Power Rangers Lost Galaxy on weekends on Channel i at 6:30, playing an buxom native of Mirinoi. Ooo, from Power Rangers to FHM :)
We were discussing our camp and apparently it was a World War II hospital, as can be told from the architecture. For one, the plumbing was apparently obsolete by 1975.
Apparently SAF canteens are supposed to serve health food. What a joke, look at ours! The noodles ooze oil as you pick them from the plate.
I realise that I've been free of the flu for quite a while! I think I've finally shaken off the Tekong Flu virus - and it *is* a virus, because SMM is a hell of a lot dirtier and older than Tekong. Either that or it's a curse placed by the malay villagers who used to live there.
The cookhouse food may suck but one thing they're reasonably competent in making is omelettes. Yum. Also, we had a superb nightsnack on monday night - puff pastry filled with red bean paste. However, the fish is apparently so bad that even the cats will not deign to touch it. Newest euphemism - "Mutton Bombay". Not as bad as "Chicken Kleo", served during Joshua's TSS time though :) Someone said that SISPEC has the best food in the SAF because the people there train hard. Which explains why our food is so sucky :)
Someone played "My Heart Will Go On" over the speakers and everyone started singing along. It was so bad, I took the earplugs from my webbing and wrapped a towel around my head.
While I was sleeping, some bloody bastard hanged my polar bear from a hanger with transpore tape. The result being that when I removed the tape, however carefully, some of the fur from around the neck came out. I don't mind if they "play" with me, but only scum bully soft toys! When the previously mentioned "garang" sergeant found out (he happened to ask after the polar bear), he knocked everyone down and said he didn't want this sort of thing happening in his platoon so I think we're not going to sabotage each other anymore. Much.
The Medical Officer Conversion Course (MOCC) trainees have an interesting way of singing their marching songs - not very loud, but clipped and precisely.
Looking through my sms inbox, I found that 2 of them have been there rather long. One dates from 26/3 and contains advice on downgrading from Filbie :) The other was from Andrew, sent before he left (16/2), an extract from Psalms 27:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?"
Actually I prefer Psalm 23.
One of the malays in my bunk came up to me and said that he felt that calling "Canadian 2 for 1 Pizza" "Malay 2 for 1 Pizza" was rather racist. I don't actually see why - 90% of the people who work there are Malay, so what's wrong with an affectionate name (even if they do burn their pizzas)? If I called it "Long Haired Blondes' Pizza", no one'd be offended.
Latest people to pop up in SMM: Matthew Seah, who's recovering from some ligament op (ouch! My condolences!) and is due to be a service medic (lucky guy!) and Mr Kamal, my history teacher for the latter half of J2, who'd returned for reservist!
Mr Kamal: "Your website still running, with all your teachers' slipups?"
Me: "... All my sergeants' slipups"
Some woman from NUH came down to talk to us to urge us to donate blood so they could extract platelets to save the life of this 22 year old Chinese girl. This is all well and good, but what I don't understand is why they came down specially just to save 1 person - shouldn't this come under a more general blood donation drive which would save more than 1 person?
The new camp will have 8 trainees to each bunk. That's 1/4 the load of my bunk now! Oh well, they've an SOC ground nearby.
Apparently now some A level people also go to the pest buster vocation ("Public Health Assistant"), which entails undergoing a 5 week course, and where the instructors are Lance Corporals. I want also!
Everytime my platoon mates talk about female instructors or, hell, any female, the first thing they will mention or discuss is whether she looks good, whether she "can make it". This is very sad, and it just shows how screwed up the male gender is. I only hope that it's because slavery exacerbates their primal instincts, and normally they won't behave that way.
Our IV this week was interrupted by something unusual - there was a snake in the training shed, coiled around the roofbeams. It was green and rather long and had black rings along its length. The last I saw before going down to the mess tentage, the sergeants were posturing with a stick. I don't think they're actually trained in snake catching :) After that little scare, we had to resume practice (unfortunately). This week the Yakult Straw (1.77mm thick if I remember right) was inserted into me by my buddy. And he's really good, as in other aspects of the medic vocation. I didn't even *cry* this time. Of course, not being poked at the wrist did help :) As did the support from friends around and my mumbling and singing. I must learn more songs suitable to be sung acapella by only 1 part, and memorise longer tracts. I'm blessed :)
Next week is going to be very tiring. Monday - transportation of casualties with and without stretchers. Wednesday - loading onto vehicles and helicopters. Friday - crossing of water obstacles. Ugh! No wonder our book in timing's 9:30pm.
Some of my platoon mates thought I looked like a golfer. Wth.
Every saturday morning we fall in to go for breakfast, and every saturday morning, without fail, the sergeants will not be around because they are all sleeping! Grr. Anyhow we took advantage of their absence and half of us (including me) ran back to our bunk to sleep (advisable especially considering the length of the queue).
Zhang brought in food for us to thank us for being so supportive of him during the time of his baby's birth - Old Chang Kee Curry Puffs and Polar Egg Tarts. Interestingly, there were "Nutrition Facts" on the side of the Curry Puff boxes, which rather amused me.
Heard: One guy who's now in Gryphon was raped by another recruit. The rapist went to jail. Also heard: "apparently DB is quite nice now. relatively. they don't carry sandbags anymore. its more like jail with PT every few days. eat sleep. fun."
Seeing my scribblings, someone said my writing was messy and I could become a doctor. Gah.
Quotes:
"[Muslim on the tudung issue] Next time I start my own religion. Go to school wear underwear. (I'll, They'll go, wearing)"
"[On the 4th Batman movie] The latest one was Batman and Friends right."
"I think normal guys' hands are not big enough for her top... [Someone else: She's an E, she's an E. She's 32E]... It's natural... [SOmeone else: This is called saggy breasts] (???)"
"[Greeting a Second Sergeant] Good evening Sir... Good evening Staff... Good evening Sergeant. [Sergeant: Call me Mister. Good morning mister.] Good evening Mister. [Sergeant: Good evening, carry on.] [Other sergeant: ORD personnel]"
"Your earlobes. I love your earlobes, Gabriel."
"[On sports medicine and the Bruneians] You see, now they are starting to catch mosquito, very boring. (mosquitoes, the lesson's)"
"Like acupuncture, you use the needle to poke the nerves (pressure points)"
"[On playing with a lighter] Roy, what are you doing? Before we move, [you] try to burn the camp down."
"It's better to have a rifle than not to have a rifle. Otherwise you look so cock standing by the side of the road doing this. [Mimes pointing rifle]"
"Combat rations is nice to eat one. I like to eat combat rations... [But the] Course Commander force me to eat fresh rations. (are, eat, will force)"
"[On bra pulling] The girls in my secondary school used to do that to each other. [Mimes pulling someone's shirt and letting go] After PE lesson they'll come back and do that, in front of the guys."
"What is the first [method of disease] prevention?... Wear clean clothes everyday. How many days you wear your uniform already?... Just now in the company audit I almost fainted. I don't know how the 2 ladies can stand it. (have you worn)"
"Other than certain people, I'm sure our Bruneian friends bathed before the lecture. [Trainee: Standing order{s say we cannot bathe during office hours}]... When I was a trainee you know how many times a day I bathe?"
"The medic is always very well liked, because if he earns the trust of the PC, if he earns the trust of the sect com, then he has the authority to say, this soldier is not feeling well [and should not train]"
"[On behaviour modification] It's up to you to encourage them not to smoke. And not to get non-smokers to smoke."
"[On our reluctance to hang clothes on the lines] Monkey will not steal your clothes lah (The monkey)"
"[On unhygienic food] You want to get MC, go and take canteen food"
"[On fake sore eyes, pretended conjunctivitis, faked by rubbing soapy water into the eys] Some cases, they will isolate you in the sick bay, until you recover, then they send you back. These are for the cases like fake sore eyes. They go and IV you, let the medic practice his IV. IV won't kill you one, just don't flush."
"[On me] Not to say you, but you don't have the attitude to keng one"
Restored Post
This past week passed very fast, perhaps because it was very slack except for some unnameble activity. Which some guy, a lucky disruptee, elsewhere has seen fit to write about, so I'll just link you there :)
During our Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, people were very bored, so they started catching insects and other lifeforms in a ziploc bag. I saw a giant centipede, a worm and a giant spiders in the bag the first time. A while later, the spider was out of the bag and lying on a stone platform, unable to move. Apparently it'd been stung by the centipede and was paralysed. Later, the giant centipede was given company by a lizard, more spiders and smaller centipedes.
The people I was sitting with, however, chose to spend out time less destructively. We discussed cartoons, of the 80s especially (ahh, the joy of nostalgia). And for some reason Power Rangers came into the picture, and some of them liked Kimberly, my nickname-sake.
We had a big spring cleaning, which we should have done when we first moved in. The amount of dust we cleaned out was unbelievable. During the activity, I very cleverly smashed my handphone screen by holding the phone in the same hand as a brush and whacking the brush on the floor to get rid of the dust. Increasing my level of euphoria, my father sent it in for servicing already and I can't find my guarantee card, so I'll probably have to fork out $150 for the repair. Oh well, at least my slave pittance increases by at least $110 from July 1st.
In response to Folie's appeals for material to pin on the noticeboard, somebody brought a 2002 Pullout Calender from an asian edition of Penthouse magazine (with no nudity though). Attempts to cover the word "Penthouse" with liberal application of a black marker proved futile, however, and even if anything else had been put up on the board - it lies bare to this day, Saturday May 18th 2002, I'm not sure if the calender would have gone up.
Sargunan blasted Indian music through some speakers and within minutes, 2-3 Indians had come down from the upper floors and were grooving along.
We're supposed to do pullups before lunch and dinner, but for 3 weeks, we hadn't done any. Until Saturday lunch, when my pathetic attempts were as futile as ever.
Zhang's wife gave birth on sunday night/monday morning and the SAF gave him 3 days paternity leave, usable within 8 weeks. I suggested taking 1 of them on stretcher carrying day and one on river crossing day :)
Willie is the darling of the Bruneian girls so we all make fun of him :) He also brought in a Gameboy Colour which he plays at night. Actually I've also seen a Gameboy Advance, but I'm not sure whose it is.
People seem to have a FHM library - the American edition, the Malaysia edition (which I'm told sucks and is uninteresting) and back issues of the Singapore edition. Competition to loan from this library is intense.
A kitten got run down by some guy. As I was marching, I saw it on the road - the eyeballs were bulging out, the skin at the back was split and the internal organs were visible. And there was meat on the road. Ugh. The mother was mewing loudly for a few days after that. So much for cats being smart.
5 people ordered supper from Daniel Ng who was coming back from Attn C. His bag was full, so he carried the booty in his hands, and was promptly caught. All of them signed extra duties. Oh well.
Someone brought a CD in and it's been playing all week. I've tentatively called it "The most irritating dance music of all time". Ahhhh!
During our field camp we won't need to wear camo, it's 4 days and 3 nights but effectively ~72 hours as we arrive in the afternoon and depart in the afternoon, it's held on flat land and best of all we will get portable toilets (those plastic structures you see at outdoor functions)!.
Our company quartermaster is only PES B! And he sometimes puts a funky hairband in his hair. Oh, and he's Tony Tan's son. Or at least he said that he was. Whether he was joking or was trying to trick gullible looking me is the question.
For a change, during Tuesday's night off, I went to eat dinner with Steven and Daniel, at Pastamania at Scotts. It's very good for the price!
Joshua was reading FHM and he happened to mention that the girl there was the Yellow Ranger (and commented that she was hot). Looking at the article, who did I see but Cerina Vincent, whom you can see on Power Rangers Lost Galaxy on weekends on Channel i at 6:30, playing an buxom native of Mirinoi. Ooo, from Power Rangers to FHM :)
We were discussing our camp and apparently it was a World War II hospital, as can be told from the architecture. For one, the plumbing was apparently obsolete by 1975.
Apparently SAF canteens are supposed to serve health food. What a joke, look at ours! The noodles ooze oil as you pick them from the plate.
I realise that I've been free of the flu for quite a while! I think I've finally shaken off the Tekong Flu virus - and it *is* a virus, because SMM is a hell of a lot dirtier and older than Tekong. Either that or it's a curse placed by the malay villagers who used to live there.
The cookhouse food may suck but one thing they're reasonably competent in making is omelettes. Yum. Also, we had a superb nightsnack on monday night - puff pastry filled with red bean paste. However, the fish is apparently so bad that even the cats will not deign to touch it. Newest euphemism - "Mutton Bombay". Not as bad as "Chicken Kleo", served during Joshua's TSS time though :) Someone said that SISPEC has the best food in the SAF because the people there train hard. Which explains why our food is so sucky :)
Someone played "My Heart Will Go On" over the speakers and everyone started singing along. It was so bad, I took the earplugs from my webbing and wrapped a towel around my head.
While I was sleeping, some bloody bastard hanged my polar bear from a hanger with transpore tape. The result being that when I removed the tape, however carefully, some of the fur from around the neck came out. I don't mind if they "play" with me, but only scum bully soft toys! When the previously mentioned "garang" sergeant found out (he happened to ask after the polar bear), he knocked everyone down and said he didn't want this sort of thing happening in his platoon so I think we're not going to sabotage each other anymore. Much.
The Medical Officer Conversion Course (MOCC) trainees have an interesting way of singing their marching songs - not very loud, but clipped and precisely.
Looking through my sms inbox, I found that 2 of them have been there rather long. One dates from 26/3 and contains advice on downgrading from Filbie :) The other was from Andrew, sent before he left (16/2), an extract from Psalms 27:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?"
Actually I prefer Psalm 23.
One of the malays in my bunk came up to me and said that he felt that calling "Canadian 2 for 1 Pizza" "Malay 2 for 1 Pizza" was rather racist. I don't actually see why - 90% of the people who work there are Malay, so what's wrong with an affectionate name (even if they do burn their pizzas)? If I called it "Long Haired Blondes' Pizza", no one'd be offended.
Latest people to pop up in SMM: Matthew Seah, who's recovering from some ligament op (ouch! My condolences!) and is due to be a service medic (lucky guy!) and Mr Kamal, my history teacher for the latter half of J2, who'd returned for reservist!
Mr Kamal: "Your website still running, with all your teachers' slipups?"
Me: "... All my sergeants' slipups"
Some woman from NUH came down to talk to us to urge us to donate blood so they could extract platelets to save the life of this 22 year old Chinese girl. This is all well and good, but what I don't understand is why they came down specially just to save 1 person - shouldn't this come under a more general blood donation drive which would save more than 1 person?
The new camp will have 8 trainees to each bunk. That's 1/4 the load of my bunk now! Oh well, they've an SOC ground nearby.
Apparently now some A level people also go to the pest buster vocation ("Public Health Assistant"), which entails undergoing a 5 week course, and where the instructors are Lance Corporals. I want also!
Everytime my platoon mates talk about female instructors or, hell, any female, the first thing they will mention or discuss is whether she looks good, whether she "can make it". This is very sad, and it just shows how screwed up the male gender is. I only hope that it's because slavery exacerbates their primal instincts, and normally they won't behave that way.
Our IV this week was interrupted by something unusual - there was a snake in the training shed, coiled around the roofbeams. It was green and rather long and had black rings along its length. The last I saw before going down to the mess tentage, the sergeants were posturing with a stick. I don't think they're actually trained in snake catching :) After that little scare, we had to resume practice (unfortunately). This week the Yakult Straw (1.77mm thick if I remember right) was inserted into me by my buddy. And he's really good, as in other aspects of the medic vocation. I didn't even *cry* this time. Of course, not being poked at the wrist did help :) As did the support from friends around and my mumbling and singing. I must learn more songs suitable to be sung acapella by only 1 part, and memorise longer tracts. I'm blessed :)
Next week is going to be very tiring. Monday - transportation of casualties with and without stretchers. Wednesday - loading onto vehicles and helicopters. Friday - crossing of water obstacles. Ugh! No wonder our book in timing's 9:30pm.
Some of my platoon mates thought I looked like a golfer. Wth.
Every saturday morning we fall in to go for breakfast, and every saturday morning, without fail, the sergeants will not be around because they are all sleeping! Grr. Anyhow we took advantage of their absence and half of us (including me) ran back to our bunk to sleep (advisable especially considering the length of the queue).
Zhang brought in food for us to thank us for being so supportive of him during the time of his baby's birth - Old Chang Kee Curry Puffs and Polar Egg Tarts. Interestingly, there were "Nutrition Facts" on the side of the Curry Puff boxes, which rather amused me.
Heard: One guy who's now in Gryphon was raped by another recruit. The rapist went to jail. Also heard: "apparently DB is quite nice now. relatively. they don't carry sandbags anymore. its more like jail with PT every few days. eat sleep. fun."
Seeing my scribblings, someone said my writing was messy and I could become a doctor. Gah.
Quotes:
"[Muslim on the tudung issue] Next time I start my own religion. Go to school wear underwear. (I'll, They'll go, wearing)"
"[On the 4th Batman movie] The latest one was Batman and Friends right."
"I think normal guys' hands are not big enough for her top... [Someone else: She's an E, she's an E. She's 32E]... It's natural... [SOmeone else: This is called saggy breasts] (???)"
"[Greeting a Second Sergeant] Good evening Sir... Good evening Staff... Good evening Sergeant. [Sergeant: Call me Mister. Good morning mister.] Good evening Mister. [Sergeant: Good evening, carry on.] [Other sergeant: ORD personnel]"
"Your earlobes. I love your earlobes, Gabriel."
"[On sports medicine and the Bruneians] You see, now they are starting to catch mosquito, very boring. (mosquitoes, the lesson's)"
"Like acupuncture, you use the needle to poke the nerves (pressure points)"
"[On playing with a lighter] Roy, what are you doing? Before we move, [you] try to burn the camp down."
"It's better to have a rifle than not to have a rifle. Otherwise you look so cock standing by the side of the road doing this. [Mimes pointing rifle]"
"Combat rations is nice to eat one. I like to eat combat rations... [But the] Course Commander force me to eat fresh rations. (are, eat, will force)"
"[On bra pulling] The girls in my secondary school used to do that to each other. [Mimes pulling someone's shirt and letting go] After PE lesson they'll come back and do that, in front of the guys."
"What is the first [method of disease] prevention?... Wear clean clothes everyday. How many days you wear your uniform already?... Just now in the company audit I almost fainted. I don't know how the 2 ladies can stand it. (have you worn)"
"Other than certain people, I'm sure our Bruneian friends bathed before the lecture. [Trainee: Standing order{s say we cannot bathe during office hours}]... When I was a trainee you know how many times a day I bathe?"
"The medic is always very well liked, because if he earns the trust of the PC, if he earns the trust of the sect com, then he has the authority to say, this soldier is not feeling well [and should not train]"
"[On behaviour modification] It's up to you to encourage them not to smoke. And not to get non-smokers to smoke."
"[On our reluctance to hang clothes on the lines] Monkey will not steal your clothes lah (The monkey)"
"[On unhygienic food] You want to get MC, go and take canteen food"
"[On fake sore eyes, pretended conjunctivitis, faked by rubbing soapy water into the eys] Some cases, they will isolate you in the sick bay, until you recover, then they send you back. These are for the cases like fake sore eyes. They go and IV you, let the medic practice his IV. IV won't kill you one, just don't flush."
"[On me] Not to say you, but you don't have the attitude to keng one"
Post ID: 76699281
Saturday, May 18, 2002
The Legend of Agagooga / On Blogging, and Slavery / Family Life / How not to set people off
Crys asked me what "Agagooga" was, and since I took the trouble to type it out, I present her for the first time, The Legend of Agagooga!
"Agagooga is a name I came up with for Mrs Lim Yau. She's the wife of Mr Lim Yau, an orchestra conductor, who's quite famous and has funny hair. Well, no one knows her real name. They only know her as Mrs Lim Yau.
If you probe a bit you'll find out she's Mrs Lim Soo Hiang. Removing even more of the mist, the name 'Quek Soo Hiang' appears.
However, this is but a facade! beneath this normal sounding name is one so hideous and horrible that the mere uttering of it will cause the seas to boil! The discoverer will be blasted with the power of the seals (Sub-saharan African in nature, from her homeland) that lock that name in its hiding place, never to be found, which is why I've never found out the rest of the name.
Agagooga is a code name for that, and part of that hideous name is indeed Agagooga. I fear to find out more.
RJ found out about this terrible secret in 1998, so it fired her as their choir conductor. HCJC found out in 2000 and she was booted out too. Li Hua Secondary School (He2 Gu3 Zhong1 Xue2) found out sometime and got rid of her too.
Ahh, woe is her.
Over time I grew fond of the name and adopted it for myself :)"
Updated YACCS commenting.
When people post to weblogs, it tends to be when they're feeling depressed. Consequently, reading the weblog tends to give the impression that the writer is terminally depressed and sits around all day dressed in murky colours sighing, reflecting and pontificating about the un-finer things in life and going to slash his or her wrists (or whatever exotic ways of suicide you can think of) anytime soon.
The bulk of my posts tend to be my bookout posts, which are not a good measure of my angst-quotient due to their covering of a week. They are ultra-long, which does deter people reading them, but, well, I've a lot to say. So my essays will continue. But if it says something about my mental state, people in camp ask me why I like to smile and laugh silently a lot, apparently at nothing.
Guan Hong today (Saturday): Why are you so quiet?
Me: Mood swings
Guan Hong: ... Your period.
Well, I think I'm getting more angsty nowadays. My sister always makes me and my brother in law do her dirty work and run errands for her, for example, dropping and picking up stuff and picking her up. My brother in law acquiesces because she cooks for him (the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!), and he lets her dominate him with her domineering personality (okay, so that's not the best of phrasing) as his submissive tendencies kick in. However, I'm not so readily made use of.
Today, after lunch, they woke me from my slumber (or half-slumber, as the case may be) in the back seat of the car to drop and pick up books from the Central Lending Library. My sister refused to get down, and tried to bribe me with a bubble tea. When that didn't work, she cited her knee pain (so you can walk all the way down to S-11 from the porch of the library, but you can't go up the significantly shorter distance to the library to drop and pick up books) because she was just too lazy to do it herself. My brother in law was driving, so he couldn't go and do it himself, so after repeated platitudes, he finally burst with a "You want me to hit you?" whereupon I exited the car with my bag (I came straight from camp) and took the 85 home. Well, as with last week, when I waited 1 1/2 hrs for her at her dinner party and took the taxi back myself, when we were home it was as if nothing had happened.
This is why my mother says: "Never ever get a woman like your sister." Not that one would ever want me, I'm very disobedient :) Hell, I defy even conventional norms like holding girls' bags.
I've finally told Screwed Up Girl to stop complaining to me about not having a boyfriend (being attached is neither a necessary nor sufficient precondition to lead a meaningful life) because it was starting to affect me and screw me up to. Yeh.
In other news, I committed a horrifying embarrassing faux pas earlier this week. Ugh. It's almost laughable in its idiocy and no, don't bother asking. I trust that the one who knows about it will keep mum *sheepish smile* Irritating people for fun and profit is never a waste of time!
GAH I was so distracted typing this entry that I forgot to watch Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. Lucky my brother in law reminded me 7 minutes into the show.
"Agagooga is a name I came up with for Mrs Lim Yau. She's the wife of Mr Lim Yau, an orchestra conductor, who's quite famous and has funny hair. Well, no one knows her real name. They only know her as Mrs Lim Yau.
If you probe a bit you'll find out she's Mrs Lim Soo Hiang. Removing even more of the mist, the name 'Quek Soo Hiang' appears.
However, this is but a facade! beneath this normal sounding name is one so hideous and horrible that the mere uttering of it will cause the seas to boil! The discoverer will be blasted with the power of the seals (Sub-saharan African in nature, from her homeland) that lock that name in its hiding place, never to be found, which is why I've never found out the rest of the name.
Agagooga is a code name for that, and part of that hideous name is indeed Agagooga. I fear to find out more.
RJ found out about this terrible secret in 1998, so it fired her as their choir conductor. HCJC found out in 2000 and she was booted out too. Li Hua Secondary School (He2 Gu3 Zhong1 Xue2) found out sometime and got rid of her too.
Ahh, woe is her.
Over time I grew fond of the name and adopted it for myself :)"
Updated YACCS commenting.
When people post to weblogs, it tends to be when they're feeling depressed. Consequently, reading the weblog tends to give the impression that the writer is terminally depressed and sits around all day dressed in murky colours sighing, reflecting and pontificating about the un-finer things in life and going to slash his or her wrists (or whatever exotic ways of suicide you can think of) anytime soon.
The bulk of my posts tend to be my bookout posts, which are not a good measure of my angst-quotient due to their covering of a week. They are ultra-long, which does deter people reading them, but, well, I've a lot to say. So my essays will continue. But if it says something about my mental state, people in camp ask me why I like to smile and laugh silently a lot, apparently at nothing.
Guan Hong today (Saturday): Why are you so quiet?
Me: Mood swings
Guan Hong: ... Your period.
Well, I think I'm getting more angsty nowadays. My sister always makes me and my brother in law do her dirty work and run errands for her, for example, dropping and picking up stuff and picking her up. My brother in law acquiesces because she cooks for him (the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!), and he lets her dominate him with her domineering personality (okay, so that's not the best of phrasing) as his submissive tendencies kick in. However, I'm not so readily made use of.
Today, after lunch, they woke me from my slumber (or half-slumber, as the case may be) in the back seat of the car to drop and pick up books from the Central Lending Library. My sister refused to get down, and tried to bribe me with a bubble tea. When that didn't work, she cited her knee pain (so you can walk all the way down to S-11 from the porch of the library, but you can't go up the significantly shorter distance to the library to drop and pick up books) because she was just too lazy to do it herself. My brother in law was driving, so he couldn't go and do it himself, so after repeated platitudes, he finally burst with a "You want me to hit you?" whereupon I exited the car with my bag (I came straight from camp) and took the 85 home. Well, as with last week, when I waited 1 1/2 hrs for her at her dinner party and took the taxi back myself, when we were home it was as if nothing had happened.
This is why my mother says: "Never ever get a woman like your sister." Not that one would ever want me, I'm very disobedient :) Hell, I defy even conventional norms like holding girls' bags.
I've finally told Screwed Up Girl to stop complaining to me about not having a boyfriend (being attached is neither a necessary nor sufficient precondition to lead a meaningful life) because it was starting to affect me and screw me up to. Yeh.
In other news, I committed a horrifying embarrassing faux pas earlier this week. Ugh. It's almost laughable in its idiocy and no, don't bother asking. I trust that the one who knows about it will keep mum *sheepish smile* Irritating people for fun and profit is never a waste of time!
GAH I was so distracted typing this entry that I forgot to watch Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. Lucky my brother in law reminded me 7 minutes into the show.
Post ID: 76690330
One of the reasons why I'm glad to be in Australia- it exports its "talent" to America.
(Taken from the Dame Edna Everage FAQ)
"Born Edna May Beazley, in the small outback town of Wagga-Wagga,
Dame Edna Everage started her career on December 19th in 1955, an
ordinary Australian housewife from Moonie Ponds, a Melbourne suburb,
sharing stories about her everyday life with small audiences.
Since then, she has become a Superstar and finally a global jet-setting
Megastar, hosting huge television and theatre shows with a gallimaufry
of very famous international guests, invariably ending with the
ritualistic grand finale of flying, waving and trembling gladioli.
~
Blessed with natural wisteria hair from birth, and impeded by her
ill (now late-) husband Norman Stoddard Everage, she continues to
bring her "priceless gifts of caring and sharing" to a global audience,
in what has been called "a riot of green spangles and diamante-trimmed
flyaway spectacles". For moral support she usually brings along her
old friend and bridesmaid, Madge Allsop.
~
Dame Edna has a dysfunctional family with three grown-up children:
Bruce, Valmai and Kenneth, and at least one grandchild, Bruce's
daughter Jasmin. According to her gynaecologist, Dame Edna is
"perfectly healthy and still able to have grandchildren".
With a flair for humble self-deification which surpasses even that
of Michael Jackson, Dame Edna lists "taking tea with Stephen Hawking"
as one of her hobbies."
~
http://www.xs4all.nl/~alife/dameedna.htm
~
http://hometown.aol.com/dameednapossum/
(Taken from the Dame Edna Everage FAQ)
"Born Edna May Beazley, in the small outback town of Wagga-Wagga,
Dame Edna Everage started her career on December 19th in 1955, an
ordinary Australian housewife from Moonie Ponds, a Melbourne suburb,
sharing stories about her everyday life with small audiences.
Since then, she has become a Superstar and finally a global jet-setting
Megastar, hosting huge television and theatre shows with a gallimaufry
of very famous international guests, invariably ending with the
ritualistic grand finale of flying, waving and trembling gladioli.
~
Blessed with natural wisteria hair from birth, and impeded by her
ill (now late-) husband Norman Stoddard Everage, she continues to
bring her "priceless gifts of caring and sharing" to a global audience,
in what has been called "a riot of green spangles and diamante-trimmed
flyaway spectacles". For moral support she usually brings along her
old friend and bridesmaid, Madge Allsop.
~
Dame Edna has a dysfunctional family with three grown-up children:
Bruce, Valmai and Kenneth, and at least one grandchild, Bruce's
daughter Jasmin. According to her gynaecologist, Dame Edna is
"perfectly healthy and still able to have grandchildren".
With a flair for humble self-deification which surpasses even that
of Michael Jackson, Dame Edna lists "taking tea with Stephen Hawking"
as one of her hobbies."
~
http://www.xs4all.nl/~alife/dameedna.htm
~
http://hometown.aol.com/dameednapossum/
Post ID: 76678907
Thursday, May 16, 2002
Uh. So much of my time is spent lurking on balderdash and other blogs.
~
Uh. I just got asked for a quote on the Ormond ball- "Uhh, it's very funky ... (anything else?) i'm at a loss for words." (buries face in hands).
~
Got asked about crushes for the 4th time in the last 2 days. This is weird.
~
Uh. I just got asked for a quote on the Ormond ball- "Uhh, it's very funky ... (anything else?) i'm at a loss for words." (buries face in hands).
~
Got asked about crushes for the 4th time in the last 2 days. This is weird.
Post ID: 76618248
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
From children of the moon
The sun gives us light, but the moon provides inspiration.
If you look at the sun without shielding your eyes,
you'll go blind. If you look at the moon without
covering your eyes, you'll become a poet.
--Serge Bouchard
The sun gives us light, but the moon provides inspiration.
If you look at the sun without shielding your eyes,
you'll go blind. If you look at the moon without
covering your eyes, you'll become a poet.
--Serge Bouchard
Post ID: 76573260
Problem-based learning... our fifth case and it's an introduction to skin cancer. Helloooooo Australia!
~
This is interesting. The children in "the others" who were sensitive to sunlight had xeroderma pigmentosum , as does the kid in my problem-based learning. And there i was rattling on and on about sunscreen during tutorial. Almost makes me feel guilty for trying to get a tan before coming here.
~
This is interesting. The children in "the others" who were sensitive to sunlight had xeroderma pigmentosum , as does the kid in my problem-based learning. And there i was rattling on and on about sunscreen during tutorial. Almost makes me feel guilty for trying to get a tan before coming here.
Post ID: 76573124
Just finished introduction to clinical medicine tutorial- unofficial, we practised taking medical histories based on the stimulated cases for next week's assessment. I'm going thru a pile of PBL stuff and where is everyone?? Don't wish to drag the books back to ormond.
I think i'm spending too much time on the net. Must mug must mug must mug!!
Oh no... just got a bad foreboding... if i get into ormond college choir and am on duty as backup singer in Swanston st. church of christ i'll literally spend the whole sunday singing.... saturday nites SSCoC practise, worship service in SSCoC- practise begins at 8am, services 9am and 11am, then ormond choir practises from 3pm thru to the chapel service at 7 to 8pm. Thankfully i'm a bass.
Everytime i go to grace chua's blog netscape crashes. Is it just me or what?
Sang the whole of yesterday (= (= (= =p
I think i'm spending too much time on the net. Must mug must mug must mug!!
Oh no... just got a bad foreboding... if i get into ormond college choir and am on duty as backup singer in Swanston st. church of christ i'll literally spend the whole sunday singing.... saturday nites SSCoC practise, worship service in SSCoC- practise begins at 8am, services 9am and 11am, then ormond choir practises from 3pm thru to the chapel service at 7 to 8pm. Thankfully i'm a bass.
Everytime i go to grace chua's blog netscape crashes. Is it just me or what?
Sang the whole of yesterday (= (= (= =p
Post ID: 76557675
Studied malay language elective in sec 1-sec 2. In retrospect, i liked it quite a lot, because it was something i could actively use in singapore and when i went back to malaysia, and because i liked learning malay and it was sorta like a cultural studies program, which made it all the more interesting. And i learnt a lot- much more than emm oh ee can hope to achieve with their "multi-ethnic cohesiveness tutorials" . Only One lesson was held out of the classroom- this hands-on cooking nasi lemak thingy. And i liked my classmates and distinctly remember cheng zhan gabbing all the recent gossip to me during classes. And Puan Rosenah and Cikgu Rizal and the other cikgu who looks fierce and has a monosyllabic name.
And rushing from school to the place near newton mrt (which wasn't so inconvenient, and there were those lovely kapok trees that rained seeds in cottony fibres in kapok pods) until it moved to the ugly bishan place. And running to and fro from ri boarding to moelc too!
And i had to go back to moelc to withdraw from malay in sec 3 when cikgu rizal cornered me- he had discovered to his dismay that only 2 ri guys were left studying malay in sec 3.
And rushing from school to the place near newton mrt (which wasn't so inconvenient, and there were those lovely kapok trees that rained seeds in cottony fibres in kapok pods) until it moved to the ugly bishan place. And running to and fro from ri boarding to moelc too!
And i had to go back to moelc to withdraw from malay in sec 3 when cikgu rizal cornered me- he had discovered to his dismay that only 2 ri guys were left studying malay in sec 3.
Post ID: 76557449
Monday, May 13, 2002
Sunday, May 12, 2002
Lyrics to Rebecca St. James' God (ref. Psalm 100 i think).
God
He made the night, he made the day;
Spread the earth upon the waters,
Made the heavens and the rain.
Look at the sky, see its design;
The very same Creator is the one who gave us life.
And what is man that He's mindful of us? We're merely clay in His hands.
And what am I that He loves me so much He would die? You know all i can say is...
(chorus)
It's God, truly God, can you see, can you hear, can you touch, can you feel?
It is God, truly God, I can't explain any other way 'cause it's God!
Inside us all there is a void; all mankind is searching for the one who fills the soul.
In Him there's hope, in Him there's life.
The world cries for a Saviour that's right before their eyes.
And what is man that He takes us in as His children to be His own?
And what are we that He wants to be our Father?
All that I can say is...
(chorus)
God
He made the night, he made the day;
Spread the earth upon the waters,
Made the heavens and the rain.
Look at the sky, see its design;
The very same Creator is the one who gave us life.
And what is man that He's mindful of us? We're merely clay in His hands.
And what am I that He loves me so much He would die? You know all i can say is...
(chorus)
It's God, truly God, can you see, can you hear, can you touch, can you feel?
It is God, truly God, I can't explain any other way 'cause it's God!
Inside us all there is a void; all mankind is searching for the one who fills the soul.
In Him there's hope, in Him there's life.
The world cries for a Saviour that's right before their eyes.
And what is man that He takes us in as His children to be His own?
And what are we that He wants to be our Father?
All that I can say is...
(chorus)
Post ID: 76458032
I'm resolving not to watch Chicago hope, ER, or any medical drama. It's bad enough that the field i'm intending to enter is one renown for *talking shop*, no waaay will overrun other things. (Hrmmm. Frasier shouldn't count. )
Some caramel-lers think i should redo my page, add images and do away with the black text on white background. Maybe.
I'm auditioning for the ormond college choir this tuesday afternoon!!
Sarah thinks I should get my ugly BCG scar removed. It's almost 2 cm in diameter and i blame its size on my swimming and my cousins peeling off the scabs =p . What do you think?
Some caramel-lers think i should redo my page, add images and do away with the black text on white background. Maybe.
I'm auditioning for the ormond college choir this tuesday afternoon!!
Sarah thinks I should get my ugly BCG scar removed. It's almost 2 cm in diameter and i blame its size on my swimming and my cousins peeling off the scabs =p . What do you think?
Post ID: 76457980
Yesterday, my brother in law had to get a new handphone (Nokia 5210, for an active [ahem] lifestyle. With "Extras" [read: Frills] which he'll never use), because the previous one'd corroded when my sister, not liking the smell of the car's air freshener, had placed it in the glove compartment, right beside the handphone, with the vent facing the phone. The silly things they do.
Went to House of Mao for lunch. They gave away our table so we were left waiting a while. It's very funny because they actually have a TV showing the propaganda films that were made during the Communist era, and the antics performed are really hilarious. And the waitresses with long hair all tie it up in silly looking pigtails.
Went to House of Mao for lunch. They gave away our table so we were left waiting a while. It's very funny because they actually have a TV showing the propaganda films that were made during the Communist era, and the antics performed are really hilarious. And the waitresses with long hair all tie it up in silly looking pigtails.
Post ID: 76453807
Bookout post:
Restored Post
When we last left our beleaguered heroes, they were smouldering under a regimen of late bookouts, early bookins, enforced wearing of prisoners' uniform when entering and exiting the prison and numerous other restrictions. On Sunday, we got a Lights Off timing of 10pm. More serious, though, was an attempt to remove our canteen and smoking breaks (so smoking would only be permitted before and after Office Hours) for the week. However, the canteen vendors protested, as it would mean the loss of more than half their customers. Furthermore, if they'd closed for the week, the officers would not be able to have their breakfast and would become miffed. So after a day and a half, these 2 privileges were restored (though I see not how smoking has anything to do with the canteen vendors). Actually I think the withdrawal of all our privileges/rights (however you see them) might've disqualified them from the ISO certification, but then none of us would be able to tell ISO, or we'd be charged. How deliciously ironic. However, all restrictions are lifted as of Sunday night, and we don't need to book in the verify MCs anymore. Best of all, we can now bring handphones in! Took them 2 1/2 weeks but it's finally done. Tis the end of an era! SMM is the last SAF camp to allow the lowest of the low (trainees in this case) to bring in handphones. No chargers though. In Tekong they explained that away by claiming that they didn't want to overload the generators, blowing them and causing a prolonged blackout but now their true colours are revealed! They just want to save money.
When we're milling around waiting to go to the parade square for our first parade, we always see schoolgoers who are late for school. Due to its proximity, RJ students are the most common sight. Interestingly, so far we've not seen any RJ boys - it's all RJ girls. However, as I recall, girls did not make an overwhelming proportion of the latecomer crowd at RJ. Then again, it's probably because those people we see are -so- tardy that they'll miss even the last bits of morning assembly.
The lectures we get are mostly shit. The lecturers are uninteresting, conduct lectures uninterestingly (there's a difference), speak badly (both in method of delivery and English) but worst of all, they teach the wrong material! One lecturer was going on about how humans can store starch. Wth. We're not plants.
What a dispatch rider told Joshua and Guan Hong when they were living in "Heaven" (Headquarters, Medical Corp - near Gleneagles), on being a slave: "You pay me peanuts, you get a monkey".
The ever efficient SAF has finally given us our E-mart credit. Actually I was beginning to think it wouldn't come till our 1 year anniversary (of the beginning of our servitude). Now I can get new socks.
My bunk mates find it hard to believe that I hold a junior black belt in Taekwando. Hell, even I find it hard to believe.
Someone uses a New Town Secondary School exercise book, and I saw that the school song talks about Queenstown in Queensway. Now that they've moved, I wonder if they've changed the school song.
Some people ignore bothersome insects and other menacing organisms (Seeing a giant spider during area cleaning, I urged Kumar to kill it since he was wearing boots and I was in PT shoes. He just sweeped it into the grass. One more giant spider to torment us in the bunk!). Some people kill them. And some people use their lighters to burn them. The stench is unbearable!
Folie's attempts to imitate my yelps (uttered when I trip, am poked or the like) are pathetic. As are (in a different sense) people's attempts to elicit the yelps from me.
Some people came to sell us Newsweek, again, at a "SAF" price. This coming barely 2 weeks after Time tried, I have to wonder about the intelligence of the scheduling. Anyhow, everybody was very happy because they got to ogle the 2 women whom the company sent down (the man was just there to hand out pens and forms). Later I was forced to listen to their descriptions and revelations, because they were talking so loudly, I couldn't help but overhear. Apparently they thought one had a good figure and wide breasts, and the other was wearing a G-string, which could be seen because of their tight pants. Gosh, they're bored and really too deprived. I'd have thought FHM and Maxim would satisfy them, but apparently lot. Actually I suspect Righteous International sent those 2 women on purpose, and I think more people subscribed to Newsweek and the other periodicals on offer than subscribed to Time (and this considering Time had attacked first).
I think my platoon's quite lucky. We have the most reasonable sergeants, and we're not punished for little or no reason. And our bunks can be locked to keep out prying eyes! :)
Because of the scare of last week, I noticed a significantly greater number of people using the public phone (Yes, the most God forsaken one in the camp, even). I got profuse thanks from this guy who was calling his girlfriend as I let him chatter on while I was content to sit on the steps and meditate on life (Not anticipating the high demand for the phone, I'd neglected to bring along the Economist to read while waiting).
The nicest and smartest Malay in my bunk drinks beer! The transcript of the exchange will reveal more than any tract of reported speech I could write so:
"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"
Apparently, in real life, you don't shock people with the Automatic External Defibrilator (AED - I hope I got the spelling correct, also known as the machine with the 2 metal pads which in movies and TV shows, you place on the chests of patients with no pulse to shock their hearts), if they indeed have no pulse. And their bodies do not jerk. So much for the accuracy of the media!
Some people actually want to bring in food, but they're scared that the food will be ravaged by a certain group of people - "[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]."
Section 9 has a kettle, so they can drink hot drinks and eat instant noodles. Yeh.
My monthly pittance has gone up by $37.50. I wonder how much they managed to deduct in miscellaneous fees this time.
The pseudo-on-the-ball sergeant gave us his version of morning exercise again. It is tough in the extreme. Supposedly it's based on what Navy Seals do, except that they do 10 sets and we do only 3. But that's bad enough, erk. One set consists of: Burpees, 10 counts of 10 (2 counts doing a jumping jack, 2 counts doing a pushup and 2 counts thrusting the legs outwards and then back in after you've come up from the pushup) It does say something that he just stands at the side and shouts, "down", "change" or "not loud enough". I wouldn't mind doing the exercises all that much if he actually *did* them with us.
We were asked to write what we wanted to be displayed on our nametags in future. I contemplated "Agagooga" but this is supposed to be for my future work, so. Damn.
When people go to the canteen, they always buy the same old drinks. Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I decide to sample the less tried ones. So far, I'm the only one I've seen so far drinking F&N Orange, Soursop and Coconut. Pokka Carrot Juice has been bought by only one person (not me, I hate carrot juice!). However, this policy backfired on me when I decided to try 'Oldenlandia Water', which was highly recommended by the Uncle and was supposed to be very "cooling". It was horrible, and when I let other people try it, no one liked it either. The only reason why he still keeps it in stock is because he drinks it! Apparently he had a flu that morning and drank 2 cans. By the afternoon he was alright.
The Malays were ogling at Maxim's 100 Sexiest Women supplement one night. I thought that was Haram and they liked their women wrapped up! :)
As if the smoke from the smoking corner at the corner of the bunk wasn't enough, one night the Malays set up another smoking corner in the middle of the bunk. I don't mind that much if they (the smokers, not just the Malays) smoke in the day, if they have no smoking break, and if they keep to the existing smoking corner which is at the very corner of the bunk, concealable by opening the cupboard door and beside the window besides. However, smoking in the mornings/evenings or after lights off, when they can just walk outside to smoke in the former case, and when they could've smoked a few minutes earlier, is just infuriating. Not to mention hazardous to health - before lights off I can go outside to breathe uncontaminated air, but after I am forced to become a passive smoker for a few hours. And coupled with the LOUD, BAD, MALAY music (that's 3 strikes against it :0), which was on until 3am, and the incessant loud chatter and laughing, it was very hard to sleep that night. But at least my bunk mates do not smoke in the toilet (that I know of), not only choking the others but occupying the cubicle - we have 3 cubicles for about 60 people.
For the second week in a row, IV was on a Thursday. It was our first 16 gauge needle live practice. The needles are the sizes of Yakult straws, and apparently the 16g leaves a permanent scar. Oh thank you, SAF, for mutilating me! I just hope the scars aren't too visible, and are just light spots on darker skin at most. I think they should ship in pigs or cows for us to do our IV practice. Or better yet, use the very-free TSS! Well this time, I was poked by the previously mentioned sergeant. However, the professional poking was balanced by the fact that he poked me at my wrist (because he couldn't find the vein elsewhere, he said). Maybe I should try putting on some weight at my wrists to reduce the pain. He actually tried to trick me that he was using a 20g on me, but feeling the pain, and seeing the hole left after withdrawal, the truth was evident :) 1 down, 6 to go...
Kumar was asked to go for a MOE Local Teaching Scholarship interview. He tells us he wants to teach in RGS because the girls are "mature mentally and physically". Right. He should have gone for his interview in his smelly uniform, which he again wore the whole week. He even wore it to bookout. The people on the bus must have died.
More disgusting tales: Khairul went out one night to pee. Only thing is, his toilet was hte grass patch beyond the stairs beside our bunk. Yuck.
During our immensely boring (in terms of waiting) Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, one guy got a scenario involving menstrual cramps. Well done!
Roe was flabbergasted at seeing my snack bag. There's actually a lot more at home but I think the quantity I have at camp is more than sufficient to last a week, especially since the wolverines have stopped attacking!
Someone brought a guitar in, and people were playing and singing badly. As someone else put it, their acapella singing is bad enough, but when coupled with bad playing.
Every night, Iskandar will walk up to me and ask, "Do you want to pump iron or do you want to run tonight?". And everytime my answer will be "What do you think?". I wonder if he'll ever give up.
Some people have really disgusting toilet habits - toilet bowls are left unflushed, and people don't lift up the toilet seat before shooting, leaving urine all over the seat! I think before I use the seated toilet the next time, I'll jet the seat first.
As I walked out of camp, I saw this guard at the gate whose nametag said 'Mohammad'. Well done. What's the distinguish him from the other 75% of Muslim males named Mohammad?
Quotes:
"[On my proclivity to bring in Marks and Spencer food] Your mother works at Marks and Spencer ah? Or your father owns the shop?"
"[On Chris' drill commands, issued in a professional-sounding tone] Eh, this is not National Day Parade lah"
"I want to get an M16. How much does it cost at the E-mart?"
"[To someone entering the lecture] Yes? Which planet are you from?... By the way, don't call me 'Sergeant Major' ever again. [Call me 'Staff']... You'll remind me of my time in infantry and I'll get upset."
"Who here smokes?... Roy, you don't smoke meh?... The face tells it all."
"[Zhang on me talking to Kumar, Vasu and Sargunan] Why are you intruding into this black gathering?"
"[On Entonox] If the guy is a laughing stock, he will laugh non-stop. (laughs easily)"
"[On SMM] This school, they charge people very easily. Come up with all the excuses to charge people one. (charges, They come, people)"
"Government fucked up, sergeant. That's why we're in [the] SAF (The government is fucked)"
"[On the contraband inspection] But I'm very impressed with [you know] what? [Mimes handphone]... [Claps from trainees] Serious... Nobody from my platoon got caught?... At least I train, thinking soldier, not idiots (soldiers)"
"[On many people not bringing their water bottles for Last Parade] Nevermind, later go down and drink 2 cups of Milo."
"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"
"[On Islam] Fucked up, stupid religion."
"[On the drinks vendor] Even Alan, everytime I see him, complain... 'Why never let them come for canteen break?' [He] Call up CSI. Don't know where he get the number from. (he complains, called, got)"
"[On the cookhouse's small portions] [If] They want to be so niao, I [will] go and put a weighing scale there."
"[On the cookhouse's high receptivity ratings, in the high 90s] I don't know why leh, I also put poor... I always put poor one (poor)"
"[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]. (will take, and I will, will put)"
"[On my anger at 16g scars] You're not going to be a model right... Don't worry, they can hide it, digital imagery... Photoshop."
"After lights off, don't use your handphones. I say again, don't use your handphones. Especially those cockenadens with the flashing antennas."
"[Mock command] Platoon, suka suka [Anyhow, cf normal use of 'cepat' - quickly] jalan [walk]"
"[On me] Don't be like a wolverine [and eat all his food]... You think he what, refrigerator ah?"
Restored Post
When we last left our beleaguered heroes, they were smouldering under a regimen of late bookouts, early bookins, enforced wearing of prisoners' uniform when entering and exiting the prison and numerous other restrictions. On Sunday, we got a Lights Off timing of 10pm. More serious, though, was an attempt to remove our canteen and smoking breaks (so smoking would only be permitted before and after Office Hours) for the week. However, the canteen vendors protested, as it would mean the loss of more than half their customers. Furthermore, if they'd closed for the week, the officers would not be able to have their breakfast and would become miffed. So after a day and a half, these 2 privileges were restored (though I see not how smoking has anything to do with the canteen vendors). Actually I think the withdrawal of all our privileges/rights (however you see them) might've disqualified them from the ISO certification, but then none of us would be able to tell ISO, or we'd be charged. How deliciously ironic. However, all restrictions are lifted as of Sunday night, and we don't need to book in the verify MCs anymore. Best of all, we can now bring handphones in! Took them 2 1/2 weeks but it's finally done. Tis the end of an era! SMM is the last SAF camp to allow the lowest of the low (trainees in this case) to bring in handphones. No chargers though. In Tekong they explained that away by claiming that they didn't want to overload the generators, blowing them and causing a prolonged blackout but now their true colours are revealed! They just want to save money.
When we're milling around waiting to go to the parade square for our first parade, we always see schoolgoers who are late for school. Due to its proximity, RJ students are the most common sight. Interestingly, so far we've not seen any RJ boys - it's all RJ girls. However, as I recall, girls did not make an overwhelming proportion of the latecomer crowd at RJ. Then again, it's probably because those people we see are -so- tardy that they'll miss even the last bits of morning assembly.
The lectures we get are mostly shit. The lecturers are uninteresting, conduct lectures uninterestingly (there's a difference), speak badly (both in method of delivery and English) but worst of all, they teach the wrong material! One lecturer was going on about how humans can store starch. Wth. We're not plants.
What a dispatch rider told Joshua and Guan Hong when they were living in "Heaven" (Headquarters, Medical Corp - near Gleneagles), on being a slave: "You pay me peanuts, you get a monkey".
The ever efficient SAF has finally given us our E-mart credit. Actually I was beginning to think it wouldn't come till our 1 year anniversary (of the beginning of our servitude). Now I can get new socks.
My bunk mates find it hard to believe that I hold a junior black belt in Taekwando. Hell, even I find it hard to believe.
Someone uses a New Town Secondary School exercise book, and I saw that the school song talks about Queenstown in Queensway. Now that they've moved, I wonder if they've changed the school song.
Some people ignore bothersome insects and other menacing organisms (Seeing a giant spider during area cleaning, I urged Kumar to kill it since he was wearing boots and I was in PT shoes. He just sweeped it into the grass. One more giant spider to torment us in the bunk!). Some people kill them. And some people use their lighters to burn them. The stench is unbearable!
Folie's attempts to imitate my yelps (uttered when I trip, am poked or the like) are pathetic. As are (in a different sense) people's attempts to elicit the yelps from me.
Some people came to sell us Newsweek, again, at a "SAF" price. This coming barely 2 weeks after Time tried, I have to wonder about the intelligence of the scheduling. Anyhow, everybody was very happy because they got to ogle the 2 women whom the company sent down (the man was just there to hand out pens and forms). Later I was forced to listen to their descriptions and revelations, because they were talking so loudly, I couldn't help but overhear. Apparently they thought one had a good figure and wide breasts, and the other was wearing a G-string, which could be seen because of their tight pants. Gosh, they're bored and really too deprived. I'd have thought FHM and Maxim would satisfy them, but apparently lot. Actually I suspect Righteous International sent those 2 women on purpose, and I think more people subscribed to Newsweek and the other periodicals on offer than subscribed to Time (and this considering Time had attacked first).
I think my platoon's quite lucky. We have the most reasonable sergeants, and we're not punished for little or no reason. And our bunks can be locked to keep out prying eyes! :)
Because of the scare of last week, I noticed a significantly greater number of people using the public phone (Yes, the most God forsaken one in the camp, even). I got profuse thanks from this guy who was calling his girlfriend as I let him chatter on while I was content to sit on the steps and meditate on life (Not anticipating the high demand for the phone, I'd neglected to bring along the Economist to read while waiting).
The nicest and smartest Malay in my bunk drinks beer! The transcript of the exchange will reveal more than any tract of reported speech I could write so:
"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"
Apparently, in real life, you don't shock people with the Automatic External Defibrilator (AED - I hope I got the spelling correct, also known as the machine with the 2 metal pads which in movies and TV shows, you place on the chests of patients with no pulse to shock their hearts), if they indeed have no pulse. And their bodies do not jerk. So much for the accuracy of the media!
Some people actually want to bring in food, but they're scared that the food will be ravaged by a certain group of people - "[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]."
Section 9 has a kettle, so they can drink hot drinks and eat instant noodles. Yeh.
My monthly pittance has gone up by $37.50. I wonder how much they managed to deduct in miscellaneous fees this time.
The pseudo-on-the-ball sergeant gave us his version of morning exercise again. It is tough in the extreme. Supposedly it's based on what Navy Seals do, except that they do 10 sets and we do only 3. But that's bad enough, erk. One set consists of: Burpees, 10 counts of 10 (2 counts doing a jumping jack, 2 counts doing a pushup and 2 counts thrusting the legs outwards and then back in after you've come up from the pushup) It does say something that he just stands at the side and shouts, "down", "change" or "not loud enough". I wouldn't mind doing the exercises all that much if he actually *did* them with us.
We were asked to write what we wanted to be displayed on our nametags in future. I contemplated "Agagooga" but this is supposed to be for my future work, so. Damn.
When people go to the canteen, they always buy the same old drinks. Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I decide to sample the less tried ones. So far, I'm the only one I've seen so far drinking F&N Orange, Soursop and Coconut. Pokka Carrot Juice has been bought by only one person (not me, I hate carrot juice!). However, this policy backfired on me when I decided to try 'Oldenlandia Water', which was highly recommended by the Uncle and was supposed to be very "cooling". It was horrible, and when I let other people try it, no one liked it either. The only reason why he still keeps it in stock is because he drinks it! Apparently he had a flu that morning and drank 2 cans. By the afternoon he was alright.
The Malays were ogling at Maxim's 100 Sexiest Women supplement one night. I thought that was Haram and they liked their women wrapped up! :)
As if the smoke from the smoking corner at the corner of the bunk wasn't enough, one night the Malays set up another smoking corner in the middle of the bunk. I don't mind that much if they (the smokers, not just the Malays) smoke in the day, if they have no smoking break, and if they keep to the existing smoking corner which is at the very corner of the bunk, concealable by opening the cupboard door and beside the window besides. However, smoking in the mornings/evenings or after lights off, when they can just walk outside to smoke in the former case, and when they could've smoked a few minutes earlier, is just infuriating. Not to mention hazardous to health - before lights off I can go outside to breathe uncontaminated air, but after I am forced to become a passive smoker for a few hours. And coupled with the LOUD, BAD, MALAY music (that's 3 strikes against it :0), which was on until 3am, and the incessant loud chatter and laughing, it was very hard to sleep that night. But at least my bunk mates do not smoke in the toilet (that I know of), not only choking the others but occupying the cubicle - we have 3 cubicles for about 60 people.
For the second week in a row, IV was on a Thursday. It was our first 16 gauge needle live practice. The needles are the sizes of Yakult straws, and apparently the 16g leaves a permanent scar. Oh thank you, SAF, for mutilating me! I just hope the scars aren't too visible, and are just light spots on darker skin at most. I think they should ship in pigs or cows for us to do our IV practice. Or better yet, use the very-free TSS! Well this time, I was poked by the previously mentioned sergeant. However, the professional poking was balanced by the fact that he poked me at my wrist (because he couldn't find the vein elsewhere, he said). Maybe I should try putting on some weight at my wrists to reduce the pain. He actually tried to trick me that he was using a 20g on me, but feeling the pain, and seeing the hole left after withdrawal, the truth was evident :) 1 down, 6 to go...
Kumar was asked to go for a MOE Local Teaching Scholarship interview. He tells us he wants to teach in RGS because the girls are "mature mentally and physically". Right. He should have gone for his interview in his smelly uniform, which he again wore the whole week. He even wore it to bookout. The people on the bus must have died.
More disgusting tales: Khairul went out one night to pee. Only thing is, his toilet was hte grass patch beyond the stairs beside our bunk. Yuck.
During our immensely boring (in terms of waiting) Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, one guy got a scenario involving menstrual cramps. Well done!
Roe was flabbergasted at seeing my snack bag. There's actually a lot more at home but I think the quantity I have at camp is more than sufficient to last a week, especially since the wolverines have stopped attacking!
Someone brought a guitar in, and people were playing and singing badly. As someone else put it, their acapella singing is bad enough, but when coupled with bad playing.
Every night, Iskandar will walk up to me and ask, "Do you want to pump iron or do you want to run tonight?". And everytime my answer will be "What do you think?". I wonder if he'll ever give up.
Some people have really disgusting toilet habits - toilet bowls are left unflushed, and people don't lift up the toilet seat before shooting, leaving urine all over the seat! I think before I use the seated toilet the next time, I'll jet the seat first.
As I walked out of camp, I saw this guard at the gate whose nametag said 'Mohammad'. Well done. What's the distinguish him from the other 75% of Muslim males named Mohammad?
Quotes:
"[On my proclivity to bring in Marks and Spencer food] Your mother works at Marks and Spencer ah? Or your father owns the shop?"
"[On Chris' drill commands, issued in a professional-sounding tone] Eh, this is not National Day Parade lah"
"I want to get an M16. How much does it cost at the E-mart?"
"[To someone entering the lecture] Yes? Which planet are you from?... By the way, don't call me 'Sergeant Major' ever again. [Call me 'Staff']... You'll remind me of my time in infantry and I'll get upset."
"Who here smokes?... Roy, you don't smoke meh?... The face tells it all."
"[Zhang on me talking to Kumar, Vasu and Sargunan] Why are you intruding into this black gathering?"
"[On Entonox] If the guy is a laughing stock, he will laugh non-stop. (laughs easily)"
"[On SMM] This school, they charge people very easily. Come up with all the excuses to charge people one. (charges, They come, people)"
"Government fucked up, sergeant. That's why we're in [the] SAF (The government is fucked)"
"[On the contraband inspection] But I'm very impressed with [you know] what? [Mimes handphone]... [Claps from trainees] Serious... Nobody from my platoon got caught?... At least I train, thinking soldier, not idiots (soldiers)"
"[On many people not bringing their water bottles for Last Parade] Nevermind, later go down and drink 2 cups of Milo."
"[Malay after eating Mee Goreng] Do you know what would be good now? A beer. [Me: I thought beer's Haram.] You know what is Haram? Haram is raping women. [Me: Then how about pork? Is eating pork Haram?] That's up to the individual, when you die, you answer to God. [Me: So same thing with beer.]"
"[On Islam] Fucked up, stupid religion."
"[On the drinks vendor] Even Alan, everytime I see him, complain... 'Why never let them come for canteen break?' [He] Call up CSI. Don't know where he get the number from. (he complains, called, got)"
"[On the cookhouse's small portions] [If] They want to be so niao, I [will] go and put a weighing scale there."
"[On the cookhouse's high receptivity ratings, in the high 90s] I don't know why leh, I also put poor... I always put poor one (poor)"
"[On how to safeguard their food if they bring any in] I take a blue pen, I write, extra ingredient: pork. [Other: I put a sticker on everything. 'Babi' {Malay for pig}]. (will take, and I will, will put)"
"[On my anger at 16g scars] You're not going to be a model right... Don't worry, they can hide it, digital imagery... Photoshop."
"After lights off, don't use your handphones. I say again, don't use your handphones. Especially those cockenadens with the flashing antennas."
"[Mock command] Platoon, suka suka [Anyhow, cf normal use of 'cepat' - quickly] jalan [walk]"
"[On me] Don't be like a wolverine [and eat all his food]... You think he what, refrigerator ah?"
Post ID: 76453542
NB: In response to some comments posted for an earlier entry-
mannikin
n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]
Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University
mannikin
n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]
Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University
Post ID: 76443593
Finally tried Pizza Hut's Stuffed Crust Pizza. This one had cheese baked on the crust itself too. The cheese overload is affecting my system! My brother in law says he'll never eat Pizza Hut again :) There was this Malay family which apparently didn't have enough - they were eating Burger King and KFC food at the same time too.
Later we went to pick my sister up from a dinner party. And we ended up waiting 1 1/2 hours. I was so pissed, I just got up and left at the end. It cost me $9.60 to take the cab home, but it was worth it. And I found a rather full pack of cigarettes on the back seat of the cab. The driver didn't smoke either, but he took the pack, maybe as a door gift of sorts for customers.
Later we went to pick my sister up from a dinner party. And we ended up waiting 1 1/2 hours. I was so pissed, I just got up and left at the end. It cost me $9.60 to take the cab home, but it was worth it. And I found a rather full pack of cigarettes on the back seat of the cab. The driver didn't smoke either, but he took the pack, maybe as a door gift of sorts for customers.
Post ID: 76433249
Saturday, May 11, 2002
Lyrics from Rebecca St. James' "Abba (Father)". I've been listening to her stuff on my Wow collection- powerful.
Abba (father)
Feeling like the eagle that rises
Flies above the earth and its troubles
Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below
But under his wings there's a stronger power
Oh Father - You are my strength
On you I wait upon
(Chorus)
You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high -- You are my Abba
Running in this race to the finish line
The only road for me is the narrow
Not gonna stop or even look to the side
When I fix my eyes on You Jesus
Oh Father - You are my strength
Now more than ever
(Chorus)
When you've run too far - and the road is long
Can't walk another mile - He is waiting
Hope in Him again - He'll renew you
Then you will rise gather up your wings and fly...
(Chorus)
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
He gives strength to the wary
To those who hope in Him
They will soar like eagles.
---
Feeling like the eagle that rises
Flies above the earth and its troubles
Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below
But under his wings there's a stronger power
Oh Father - You are my strength
On you I wait upon
(Chorus)
You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high -- You are my Abba
Running in this race to the finish line
The only road for me is the narrow
Not gonna stop or even look to the side
When I fix my eyes on You Jesus
Oh Father - You are my strength
Now more than ever
(Chorus)
When you've run too far - and the road is long
Can't walk another mile - He is waiting
Hope in Him again - He'll renew you
Then you will rise gather up your wings and fly...
(Chorus)
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
He gives strength to the wary
To those who hope in Him
They will soar like eagles.
---
Post ID: 76423073
Ooh. Problem-based learning tutorial (case study of an old dehydrated lady who fell, broke her hip and was lying on the floor for 24 hours): I never knew sunken eyes was a symptom of dehydration- i'd always associated them with blackbirds who'd "been waiting for this moment to arise". (wry grin)
Aside, i left a message at 2am yesterday apologising to Ben for missing the birthday celebration (am on my way to find the birthday girl now- got Bradley Trevor Greive's "The meaning of life" for her) and he replied back with a cute message. I'll type it up here next time.
Aside, i left a message at 2am yesterday apologising to Ben for missing the birthday celebration (am on my way to find the birthday girl now- got Bradley Trevor Greive's "The meaning of life" for her) and he replied back with a cute message. I'll type it up here next time.
Post ID: 76423016
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
http://www.postcardgalaxy.com/cards/76950011.html
This is odd, to say the least. Speak about a greeting-for-all.
This is odd, to say the least. Speak about a greeting-for-all.
Post ID: 76267804
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
Dilemma on Friday. Birthday celebration of an ormondian (probably dinner at Chinatown) clashes with OCF, which as i have just found out, will be held in Janice's house in South Yarra. And if i miss su's birthday william will kill me. Arrrrggghh!!!
Details:
Birthday celebration in chinatown (middle of city): probably starts at 8pm, till late.
OCF cell group: Meet at uni tram stop at 5.30pm, proceed to house from there. Potluck dinner from 6 to 8-ish. Games from 8 to 8.30, then cell bible study and sharing from 8.30 to 10. More makan and chatting after 10.
Details:
Birthday celebration in chinatown (middle of city): probably starts at 8pm, till late.
OCF cell group: Meet at uni tram stop at 5.30pm, proceed to house from there. Potluck dinner from 6 to 8-ish. Games from 8 to 8.30, then cell bible study and sharing from 8.30 to 10. More makan and chatting after 10.
Post ID: 76256983
(wrt the photo below) grins, so there -are- persons of wider girth than i, after all!
thanks for succumbing the dollar-fifty for my mango smoothie, gabriel. but the stench didn't just stem from female rafflesians; there were the sweaty, predominantly male soccer/basketball/softball players as well, yknow!
ps. jamin introduced me to this rj girl selling second-hand books at ora who looked a remarkable lot like you, andrew. (:
thanks for succumbing the dollar-fifty for my mango smoothie, gabriel. but the stench didn't just stem from female rafflesians; there were the sweaty, predominantly male soccer/basketball/softball players as well, yknow!
ps. jamin introduced me to this rj girl selling second-hand books at ora who looked a remarkable lot like you, andrew. (:
Post ID: 76254325
Sunday, May 05, 2002
This is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!
http://ocsc.ormond.unimelb.edu.au/ow/gallery/Day_Three/DSCN1150.JPG
[Ed: This post has been edited to remove the image on Ormond College's servers to prevent page loading problems]
Ormond college. During orientation they were like, "Freshers! Jump into the river!" and all of us were stripping to our swimwear. Then after all that they told us it was illegal to swim in the river. So we had to wear everything again.
Is this offensive? Should i take it down?
http://ocsc.ormond.unimelb.edu.au/ow/gallery/Day_Three/DSCN1150.JPG
[Ed: This post has been edited to remove the image on Ormond College's servers to prevent page loading problems]
Ormond college. During orientation they were like, "Freshers! Jump into the river!" and all of us were stripping to our swimwear. Then after all that they told us it was illegal to swim in the river. So we had to wear everything again.
Is this offensive? Should i take it down?
Post ID: 76183039
After 6 years in a Raffles School, I've finally gone to an ORA games day! As usual, for reasons unknown, I was terribly amused.
My amusement was increased by my finding, standing behind Shiming, none other than Yaodong! And with his hair intact. Isn't he in BMT already?
Jamin and Aravind were hanging around. I also bumped into 2 of my J4 RI GEP seniors. I brushed past them and realised that they looked familiar. For some reason, they were incredibly amused on finding out that I was at SMM.
The mannikin in the RGS museum wearing the RGS uniform looks terribly freaky without hair, but worse, the sleeves are not folded!
I left after barely an hour there, both because wandering around alone was too sad even for the likes of me, and the overpowering stench of smelly girls in the canteen!
[NB: In response to some comments posted-
mannikin
n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]
Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University]
My amusement was increased by my finding, standing behind Shiming, none other than Yaodong! And with his hair intact. Isn't he in BMT already?
Jamin and Aravind were hanging around. I also bumped into 2 of my J4 RI GEP seniors. I brushed past them and realised that they looked familiar. For some reason, they were incredibly amused on finding out that I was at SMM.
The mannikin in the RGS museum wearing the RGS uniform looks terribly freaky without hair, but worse, the sleeves are not folded!
I left after barely an hour there, both because wandering around alone was too sad even for the likes of me, and the overpowering stench of smelly girls in the canteen!
[NB: In response to some comments posted-
mannikin
n 1: a woman who wears clothes to display fashions; "she was too fat to be a mannequin" [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, fashion model, model] 2: a life-size dummy used to display clothes [syn: mannequin, manikin, manakin, form]
Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University]
Post ID: 76179508
Saturday, May 04, 2002
Bookout post:
Restored Post
Whenever people ask me how SMM is, I respond that it is good, relative to life elsewhere in the army, except for:
1) The no handphone rule
2) The bedbugs, mosquitoes and other monsters
3) The horrible food (the worst slop in the SAF probably goes to my camp)
and of course:
4) The weekly IVs
Well, it seems that we've finally tested the patience of our Company Senior Instructor for the last time / something bad, unrelated to us, happened to him that made him angry and crack.
Tuesday, we got hints of it. We had the usual talk about how the younger generation takes our security and prosperity for granted. Blah blah. Been there, done that.
On Friday, somebody lost his wallet, and still hadn't realised, after going through BMT at the very least, that in the SAF, if you lose something, you're never going to get it back. So he reported the loss, and on the pretext of searching for the wallet, the instructors turned our bunks upside down and took the opportunity to look for contraband (Mostly handphones, but a portable TV was found!). This served the dual purposes of deterring us from reporting lost items the next time, saving them loads of trouble, and getting people to do guard duties, saving them trouble choosing others, and satisfying their sadistic tendencies. Also, thanks to Mr Ass Man (as some of us call him), we did jumping jacks - 25 counts of 8, to weed out those who'd put their phones in their underwear. Of course, everyone had tucked them in tightly, so among the whole lot, only one Nokia battery fell out. And Mr Ass Man, ever considerate, gave us an lights off timing half an hour earlier - 10pm, for us to recover from our exertion. Nobody in my platoon got caught for contraband, though something much worse was discovered on someone (Hush!). Ahh, the kindness our instructor showed to us, giving us advance notice of the inspection by telling us they were checking for "bunk damages" (ahem). And Bruneians are very useful. They buy food back for you when they have a night off, you can hide in their bunk when you're pretend you're at Friday prayers but actually want to sleep and you can let them take care of your handphones! And in the end, the person probably didn't get his wallet back too. On a personal note, mine own personal communications device (just my luck. I bring it in on May Day and they check us. I'm jinxed!) was hidden in a place most ingenious. If I say so myself.
On Saturday, they went even crazier. They'd inspected the bunks in the morning, and some bunks' rubbish hadn't been brought down, and the bunks were generally not in standby condition. So they messed our bunks up themselves. My bunk was locked, so they vented their frustration by dumping a garbage bag full of garbage (and some mud, besides) at our door. On the pretext of that, and other miscellaneous things like people not coming back to endorse their MCs (those gotten over the weekend or during a night off) before going off for their sick rest (that policy is rather dumb, we all think), we had a mild torture session, many stand-by-beds, a bookout delayed till 2:10, a bookin brought up to 9pm (up from 10:30pm - in Units it's 11:59pm, and that means the time you enter the camp and not the time you report in a platoon in army T-shirt, shorts and shoes with a full waterbottle) and a withdrawal of our "privileges" - booking in/out is in Smart 4 from now on and we've no more nights off. They've probably lost their ISO certification by now! :) I wonder how many people are going to take an MC over this weekend.
And now, back to the roughly chronological narrative.
When I returned, there were the expected jibes about my hair. I got called "recruit". Bah. It's not that much shorter than Zhang's, and *he* doesn't get teased, though he does regret cutting his as short as it is too.
On Monday, I almost brought in my phone, but I backed out at the last minute. Other people bring theirs to Guard Duty and lectures, and I don't even bring mine in. Ahh, I think, if for nothing else, I'll bring mine in to spite the SAF.
The cookhouse likes to give fancy names to the food, probably to distract us from the bad taste. Seen on the menu before are dishes like: "Tasty Tientsin Cabbage" and "Imported Celery With Carrot". But pseudo-Western food takes the cake. On Friday we had "Chicken Chasseur" (Tomato sauce chicken), "Fish fillet ala Meuniere" (Lemon sauce deep fried fish) and "Vichy carrot" (Steamed carrots). This reminds me of the restaurant owner in Plaak who introduced one dish to us as "Tu2 Er3 Qi2 Bao1 Qing1 Cai4" (Turkey ? Green Vegetables). Anyhow, the receptivity ratings for April are out. There's been a total plunge of 6% across the 4 meals. Gasp. We've been speculating about the definition of receptivity recently, actually, and I think we have the answer - it measures the percentage of people who bother to collect their food (no matter how many throw all or most of it away later). So the rest hate the food so much that they go on a hunger strike, or refuse to collect the food, risking getting charged. The food's that bad! *Grin* On Monday the cookhouse boss had a bright idea, that of giving us peanut porridge for our night snack. Most people didn't take any, and when we went back to the bunk, I offered people a real nightsnack - the rest of my Carte d'Or Hazelnut Chocolate! And on Saturday, we got "Egg Mayonnaise" for breakfast. Not only was it hot, there was probably more butter than Mayo in the damn thing.
It's freaky. Yew Jin's heart is so close to his skin that, when he removes his shirt and looks straight ahead, you can see his heart beating.
When the Bruneians have a night off, they can come back at 2-3am. Gah.
I was marching by the training sheds on my way up from the most god-forsaken public phone in the camp on monday when I heard somebody playing the trumpet. Going up, I chatted a bit with the player. Turns out his bunk mates were complaining about his playing, so he moved to that relatively secluded spot.
On Tuesday, which was mega-lecture day (10 lectures in all!), Zhang and I were discussing computer games and it turns out we've played many of the same games. From the days of the computers with no hard disks and only 5.25 floppy drives, we've both played Alley Cat (well, who hasn't?), Way of the Bushido and Ninja. Pity he didn't have enough RAM for Darksun: Shattered Lands.
On Tuesday, one person liked shorts so much that he booked out in pants, then took them off to reveal the shorts once he was out of the gate.
Iskandar's modified dismissal cheer: Seek safe sex. Magic [Johnson]! [Cf original: Seek, save, serve. Medic!]
For a while, Folie was given to repeatedly singing, "You're wasting my time". Irritating. Lucky he's tired of it.
Guard duty on Wednesday was incredibly boring. And it was Labour Day too. Better than a weekend, though. Luckily, we'd all prepared ourselves suitably by starving our bodies of sleep the night before. I thought I'd clocked a respectable time by sleeping at 1:30am, but Guan Hong hit 2am and Yew Yew took the prize with a mind-shattering 4:00am. Again, I got the post of sentry. It's boring, but at least you don't have to walk. And I got a chair for 3 hours! The food was terrible - lunch was totally hot, and since the canteen wasn't open I couldn't satiate my hunger there. We had 2 sets of turnouts, the first consisiting of 4 turnouts and latter 3. And all this while, the fire picket people got to sleep, except for a brief spate of camp cleanup in the morning. Especially Steven, who was asleep almost all the time.
When you've nothing to do while on guard duty, you muse. So now I've recalled some stuff to add to my already overly long About Me page. While sitting at the guard post, I saw this guy across the road, riding on a motorised bicycle. You don't see many of those around: I can probably count the number I've seen on one hand, let alone the number of appendages on my body.
It seems Mr Kamal and Mr Lim are Combat Medics too. Ooo. They must be much better than inept me.
The HQ platoons have walkie talkies that look like handphones. I've no idea why.
On Thursday, the Medical Officer trainees came in, in the OCS Waiter attire, and they were issued with laptop bags. They looked rather odd marching in the white top and black pants, carrying their "laptops". And their drill wasn't very good either :) But their course is not as relaxed as some of us were led to believe - they've done some running, and we've seen them marching and running in long 4 with rifles high ported.
Hospitals all use the 20g needles (the one we've been using to practice IVs with), it's only the SAF which uses the 16g ones. Gah.
The Bruneian girls suggested giving me Entonox (pain relieving gas, 50% oxygen and 50% nitrous oxide) before IV to dull my pain. Heh.
I really suck at IV. I hate injections so much, yet I am so lousy at administering IVs. Of 4 attempts, I passed but 2, and the first 3 were on my dear buddy Guan Hong. And for the last, I had to jiggle in Joshua's flesh to find the vein. But I think I know why I'm so lousy - it's the anxiety factor, so if I calm down, I should be able to achieve a higher accuracy rate. I almost missed getting shot, but I was spotted in time. Wonder of wonders, I didn't even *cry* (a first!). There was just some leg movement and much heavy breathing. This amazing feat can be attributed to the very on-the-ball sergeant who was there all the time, employing the usual psyching tactics, like distracting me by talking to me, giving me a packet of Wide Open weave (WOW) to grasp in my left hand and trying to extract promises that I'd not make a sound or shed a tear. Of course, it didn't hurt that he took over from Kumar once the needle went in, so it was less painful. But for all his troubles, he still couldn't find my vein and had to withdraw without hitting blood. He's actually very nice, and he fights for welfare for us when he's around, but I still have a bad feeling about the combat phase.
Seeing the miracle of the soundless IV, my platoon mates commented that I "didn't scream". Well, if they thought my strangled cries of the previous weeks were screams, then they obviously had not heard me in my prime, like when:
- I had my BCG in Primary 6
- Jeremy whacked my festering BCG wound in Secondary 1 while Cheah Kum Lim was showing us around the RI Design Centre Art Gallery
- I was in the New Block in Sec 2 when Yong Chin stole my pencil case and ran off
- Wei Ling brought us to some installation dealing with lasers and Sanje pulled my hanky off my nose (Hey, I was weird even then, ok?)
Some of the Malays caught a giant spider and kept it for a while. It was as long as the distance between the tip of my middle finger and the area just past my wrist.
The smokers have started smoking in the bunk. And since my bed's near to the end where they smoke, I've to flee very often. The amount of smoking breaks they get seems more than adequate actually, but then I don't smoke, so.
Guan Hong likes my Marks And Spencer Honey Roast Ham flavour Crisps. Hehe.
Iskandar is also a fan of Sunny Bookshop. Mmm.
The canteen woman is very smart, she charges high prices for the items people want to eat. A hashbrown'll set you back $0.50, and a chicken wing $1!
Some of the female SAF uniformed staff come to camp in civilian clothes. Gah.
Chris' been proud of wearing 1 set of uniform per week, but the sergeant found out and he was told to change his set or sign one extra duty. Haha.
I kept wondering, on Friday, why I kept smelling Kumar and his indian smell. It turned out he'd been wearing the same set of uniform since Monday, through guard duty.
Something very disgusting happened on Friday. Fortunately, I did not witness it as I was slumbering, but from what I was told, Khairul, who always likes to parade naked in the bunk, went in front of Steven and started spanking his monkey. Steven proceeded to spray his anti-blister spray on Khairul's genitals and buttocks. Apparently they wanted to do it to me, but were sure that I'd cry and complain to the CO.
My food is always plundered by everyone else, because they're too lazy to bring in their own food. On Friday, I went to wash my ziploc back, and munificently let my bunk mates take some of my Ruffles, but when I returned, the packet had disappeared. Running outside, I was just in time to see the 6 Malays (the 8 in my bunk minus Iskandar and Raffie) finishing the chips, and I only got a few crumbs. And Saturday morning, I woke to Kumar apologising, giving me $5 and promising that they'd bring food in next week, as they had consumed my Wise Cottage Fries the night before. Because they had the decency to give me recompense, I'll not hoard my food. And this is all good stuff. As Chris remarked, the stuff I bring in can't be found in supermarkets. At least those that he goes to.
Apparently one of the instructors at SMM gained weight just to escape normal BMT. Hmm.
One thing I don't understand is why I always see RJ people around SMM. It's rather far to walk, and I'm not sure that they gain access to any new bus services.
Tim passed by my camp and he agrees it looks like a dump!
Quotes:
"[On my handphone] Just bring it in lah"
"Gabriel, I think you need to wear [a] bra already."
"[On my scribbling] Later [when you] ORD, you [can] go and write a comic. Confirmed funny one. (It'll definitely be funny)"
"Army, no need to be so garang one... I've learnt the art of slacking. See, now I also don't tie my boot lace already. (I don't, laces anymore)"
"[On my attempt at Mozart's Lacrymosa] Gabriel, you've such a sweet voice."
"[Khairuldin sings:] Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah, loolah. Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah loolah lay. [Someone else sings: No more Khairuldin!]"
"[On how to avoid getting my food stolen] All you need to do is bring a big bag of groceries and put pork in the centre."
"[On an instructor cursing] Use vulgar language. No more ISO already."
"[On a war] The regulars are behind. When all of you die, then we come out. (Only when, will)"
"[On a war] When the enemy invades, you're going to go, 'I'm [PES] C9, please do not shoot me."
"[On someone who was very bitter] I think he doesn't have a girlfriend. I think he can't get into the U, that's why he's so disappointed."
"[On 2 RJ girls we saw outside SMM] Judging by the tits, not more than 12 years old."
"[On starting IVs with a 20g needle] No, we just want you to get comfortable. [Trainee: Then next time start with 100 {gauge}]... Poke mosquito."
"[On the Medical Officer Conversion Course trainees] Bloody hell, they look like Waiters' Association like that. (the Waiters' Association)"
"[On our 10pm lights off timing] Primary school kids sleep later than us."
I've decided to remove "Slave" from my icq info to avoid being picked up by BDSM aficionados.
I wonder if they still have those gimmicky vending machines where you can "dial a drink" and which is an utter waste of money, both to install and to use, with no discernable benefits for either producer or consumer.
Restored Post
Whenever people ask me how SMM is, I respond that it is good, relative to life elsewhere in the army, except for:
1) The no handphone rule
2) The bedbugs, mosquitoes and other monsters
3) The horrible food (the worst slop in the SAF probably goes to my camp)
and of course:
4) The weekly IVs
Well, it seems that we've finally tested the patience of our Company Senior Instructor for the last time / something bad, unrelated to us, happened to him that made him angry and crack.
Tuesday, we got hints of it. We had the usual talk about how the younger generation takes our security and prosperity for granted. Blah blah. Been there, done that.
On Friday, somebody lost his wallet, and still hadn't realised, after going through BMT at the very least, that in the SAF, if you lose something, you're never going to get it back. So he reported the loss, and on the pretext of searching for the wallet, the instructors turned our bunks upside down and took the opportunity to look for contraband (Mostly handphones, but a portable TV was found!). This served the dual purposes of deterring us from reporting lost items the next time, saving them loads of trouble, and getting people to do guard duties, saving them trouble choosing others, and satisfying their sadistic tendencies. Also, thanks to Mr Ass Man (as some of us call him), we did jumping jacks - 25 counts of 8, to weed out those who'd put their phones in their underwear. Of course, everyone had tucked them in tightly, so among the whole lot, only one Nokia battery fell out. And Mr Ass Man, ever considerate, gave us an lights off timing half an hour earlier - 10pm, for us to recover from our exertion. Nobody in my platoon got caught for contraband, though something much worse was discovered on someone (Hush!). Ahh, the kindness our instructor showed to us, giving us advance notice of the inspection by telling us they were checking for "bunk damages" (ahem). And Bruneians are very useful. They buy food back for you when they have a night off, you can hide in their bunk when you're pretend you're at Friday prayers but actually want to sleep and you can let them take care of your handphones! And in the end, the person probably didn't get his wallet back too. On a personal note, mine own personal communications device (just my luck. I bring it in on May Day and they check us. I'm jinxed!) was hidden in a place most ingenious. If I say so myself.
On Saturday, they went even crazier. They'd inspected the bunks in the morning, and some bunks' rubbish hadn't been brought down, and the bunks were generally not in standby condition. So they messed our bunks up themselves. My bunk was locked, so they vented their frustration by dumping a garbage bag full of garbage (and some mud, besides) at our door. On the pretext of that, and other miscellaneous things like people not coming back to endorse their MCs (those gotten over the weekend or during a night off) before going off for their sick rest (that policy is rather dumb, we all think), we had a mild torture session, many stand-by-beds, a bookout delayed till 2:10, a bookin brought up to 9pm (up from 10:30pm - in Units it's 11:59pm, and that means the time you enter the camp and not the time you report in a platoon in army T-shirt, shorts and shoes with a full waterbottle) and a withdrawal of our "privileges" - booking in/out is in Smart 4 from now on and we've no more nights off. They've probably lost their ISO certification by now! :) I wonder how many people are going to take an MC over this weekend.
And now, back to the roughly chronological narrative.
When I returned, there were the expected jibes about my hair. I got called "recruit". Bah. It's not that much shorter than Zhang's, and *he* doesn't get teased, though he does regret cutting his as short as it is too.
On Monday, I almost brought in my phone, but I backed out at the last minute. Other people bring theirs to Guard Duty and lectures, and I don't even bring mine in. Ahh, I think, if for nothing else, I'll bring mine in to spite the SAF.
The cookhouse likes to give fancy names to the food, probably to distract us from the bad taste. Seen on the menu before are dishes like: "Tasty Tientsin Cabbage" and "Imported Celery With Carrot". But pseudo-Western food takes the cake. On Friday we had "Chicken Chasseur" (Tomato sauce chicken), "Fish fillet ala Meuniere" (Lemon sauce deep fried fish) and "Vichy carrot" (Steamed carrots). This reminds me of the restaurant owner in Plaak who introduced one dish to us as "Tu2 Er3 Qi2 Bao1 Qing1 Cai4" (Turkey ? Green Vegetables). Anyhow, the receptivity ratings for April are out. There's been a total plunge of 6% across the 4 meals. Gasp. We've been speculating about the definition of receptivity recently, actually, and I think we have the answer - it measures the percentage of people who bother to collect their food (no matter how many throw all or most of it away later). So the rest hate the food so much that they go on a hunger strike, or refuse to collect the food, risking getting charged. The food's that bad! *Grin* On Monday the cookhouse boss had a bright idea, that of giving us peanut porridge for our night snack. Most people didn't take any, and when we went back to the bunk, I offered people a real nightsnack - the rest of my Carte d'Or Hazelnut Chocolate! And on Saturday, we got "Egg Mayonnaise" for breakfast. Not only was it hot, there was probably more butter than Mayo in the damn thing.
It's freaky. Yew Jin's heart is so close to his skin that, when he removes his shirt and looks straight ahead, you can see his heart beating.
When the Bruneians have a night off, they can come back at 2-3am. Gah.
I was marching by the training sheds on my way up from the most god-forsaken public phone in the camp on monday when I heard somebody playing the trumpet. Going up, I chatted a bit with the player. Turns out his bunk mates were complaining about his playing, so he moved to that relatively secluded spot.
On Tuesday, which was mega-lecture day (10 lectures in all!), Zhang and I were discussing computer games and it turns out we've played many of the same games. From the days of the computers with no hard disks and only 5.25 floppy drives, we've both played Alley Cat (well, who hasn't?), Way of the Bushido and Ninja. Pity he didn't have enough RAM for Darksun: Shattered Lands.
On Tuesday, one person liked shorts so much that he booked out in pants, then took them off to reveal the shorts once he was out of the gate.
Iskandar's modified dismissal cheer: Seek safe sex. Magic [Johnson]! [Cf original: Seek, save, serve. Medic!]
For a while, Folie was given to repeatedly singing, "You're wasting my time". Irritating. Lucky he's tired of it.
Guard duty on Wednesday was incredibly boring. And it was Labour Day too. Better than a weekend, though. Luckily, we'd all prepared ourselves suitably by starving our bodies of sleep the night before. I thought I'd clocked a respectable time by sleeping at 1:30am, but Guan Hong hit 2am and Yew Yew took the prize with a mind-shattering 4:00am. Again, I got the post of sentry. It's boring, but at least you don't have to walk. And I got a chair for 3 hours! The food was terrible - lunch was totally hot, and since the canteen wasn't open I couldn't satiate my hunger there. We had 2 sets of turnouts, the first consisiting of 4 turnouts and latter 3. And all this while, the fire picket people got to sleep, except for a brief spate of camp cleanup in the morning. Especially Steven, who was asleep almost all the time.
When you've nothing to do while on guard duty, you muse. So now I've recalled some stuff to add to my already overly long About Me page. While sitting at the guard post, I saw this guy across the road, riding on a motorised bicycle. You don't see many of those around: I can probably count the number I've seen on one hand, let alone the number of appendages on my body.
It seems Mr Kamal and Mr Lim are Combat Medics too. Ooo. They must be much better than inept me.
The HQ platoons have walkie talkies that look like handphones. I've no idea why.
On Thursday, the Medical Officer trainees came in, in the OCS Waiter attire, and they were issued with laptop bags. They looked rather odd marching in the white top and black pants, carrying their "laptops". And their drill wasn't very good either :) But their course is not as relaxed as some of us were led to believe - they've done some running, and we've seen them marching and running in long 4 with rifles high ported.
Hospitals all use the 20g needles (the one we've been using to practice IVs with), it's only the SAF which uses the 16g ones. Gah.
The Bruneian girls suggested giving me Entonox (pain relieving gas, 50% oxygen and 50% nitrous oxide) before IV to dull my pain. Heh.
I really suck at IV. I hate injections so much, yet I am so lousy at administering IVs. Of 4 attempts, I passed but 2, and the first 3 were on my dear buddy Guan Hong. And for the last, I had to jiggle in Joshua's flesh to find the vein. But I think I know why I'm so lousy - it's the anxiety factor, so if I calm down, I should be able to achieve a higher accuracy rate. I almost missed getting shot, but I was spotted in time. Wonder of wonders, I didn't even *cry* (a first!). There was just some leg movement and much heavy breathing. This amazing feat can be attributed to the very on-the-ball sergeant who was there all the time, employing the usual psyching tactics, like distracting me by talking to me, giving me a packet of Wide Open weave (WOW) to grasp in my left hand and trying to extract promises that I'd not make a sound or shed a tear. Of course, it didn't hurt that he took over from Kumar once the needle went in, so it was less painful. But for all his troubles, he still couldn't find my vein and had to withdraw without hitting blood. He's actually very nice, and he fights for welfare for us when he's around, but I still have a bad feeling about the combat phase.
Seeing the miracle of the soundless IV, my platoon mates commented that I "didn't scream". Well, if they thought my strangled cries of the previous weeks were screams, then they obviously had not heard me in my prime, like when:
- I had my BCG in Primary 6
- Jeremy whacked my festering BCG wound in Secondary 1 while Cheah Kum Lim was showing us around the RI Design Centre Art Gallery
- I was in the New Block in Sec 2 when Yong Chin stole my pencil case and ran off
- Wei Ling brought us to some installation dealing with lasers and Sanje pulled my hanky off my nose (Hey, I was weird even then, ok?)
Some of the Malays caught a giant spider and kept it for a while. It was as long as the distance between the tip of my middle finger and the area just past my wrist.
The smokers have started smoking in the bunk. And since my bed's near to the end where they smoke, I've to flee very often. The amount of smoking breaks they get seems more than adequate actually, but then I don't smoke, so.
Guan Hong likes my Marks And Spencer Honey Roast Ham flavour Crisps. Hehe.
Iskandar is also a fan of Sunny Bookshop. Mmm.
The canteen woman is very smart, she charges high prices for the items people want to eat. A hashbrown'll set you back $0.50, and a chicken wing $1!
Some of the female SAF uniformed staff come to camp in civilian clothes. Gah.
Chris' been proud of wearing 1 set of uniform per week, but the sergeant found out and he was told to change his set or sign one extra duty. Haha.
I kept wondering, on Friday, why I kept smelling Kumar and his indian smell. It turned out he'd been wearing the same set of uniform since Monday, through guard duty.
Something very disgusting happened on Friday. Fortunately, I did not witness it as I was slumbering, but from what I was told, Khairul, who always likes to parade naked in the bunk, went in front of Steven and started spanking his monkey. Steven proceeded to spray his anti-blister spray on Khairul's genitals and buttocks. Apparently they wanted to do it to me, but were sure that I'd cry and complain to the CO.
My food is always plundered by everyone else, because they're too lazy to bring in their own food. On Friday, I went to wash my ziploc back, and munificently let my bunk mates take some of my Ruffles, but when I returned, the packet had disappeared. Running outside, I was just in time to see the 6 Malays (the 8 in my bunk minus Iskandar and Raffie) finishing the chips, and I only got a few crumbs. And Saturday morning, I woke to Kumar apologising, giving me $5 and promising that they'd bring food in next week, as they had consumed my Wise Cottage Fries the night before. Because they had the decency to give me recompense, I'll not hoard my food. And this is all good stuff. As Chris remarked, the stuff I bring in can't be found in supermarkets. At least those that he goes to.
Apparently one of the instructors at SMM gained weight just to escape normal BMT. Hmm.
One thing I don't understand is why I always see RJ people around SMM. It's rather far to walk, and I'm not sure that they gain access to any new bus services.
Tim passed by my camp and he agrees it looks like a dump!
Quotes:
"[On my handphone] Just bring it in lah"
"Gabriel, I think you need to wear [a] bra already."
"[On my scribbling] Later [when you] ORD, you [can] go and write a comic. Confirmed funny one. (It'll definitely be funny)"
"Army, no need to be so garang one... I've learnt the art of slacking. See, now I also don't tie my boot lace already. (I don't, laces anymore)"
"[On my attempt at Mozart's Lacrymosa] Gabriel, you've such a sweet voice."
"[Khairuldin sings:] Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah, loolah. Tomorrow is my bookout day, loolah loolah lay. [Someone else sings: No more Khairuldin!]"
"[On how to avoid getting my food stolen] All you need to do is bring a big bag of groceries and put pork in the centre."
"[On an instructor cursing] Use vulgar language. No more ISO already."
"[On a war] The regulars are behind. When all of you die, then we come out. (Only when, will)"
"[On a war] When the enemy invades, you're going to go, 'I'm [PES] C9, please do not shoot me."
"[On someone who was very bitter] I think he doesn't have a girlfriend. I think he can't get into the U, that's why he's so disappointed."
"[On 2 RJ girls we saw outside SMM] Judging by the tits, not more than 12 years old."
"[On starting IVs with a 20g needle] No, we just want you to get comfortable. [Trainee: Then next time start with 100 {gauge}]... Poke mosquito."
"[On the Medical Officer Conversion Course trainees] Bloody hell, they look like Waiters' Association like that. (the Waiters' Association)"
"[On our 10pm lights off timing] Primary school kids sleep later than us."
I've decided to remove "Slave" from my icq info to avoid being picked up by BDSM aficionados.
I wonder if they still have those gimmicky vending machines where you can "dial a drink" and which is an utter waste of money, both to install and to use, with no discernable benefits for either producer or consumer.
Post ID: 76153273
The word of the day is: "bonistic"
I want to be the amygdala. Or the sylvan fissure. For you anatomy students, the amygdala may seem an obvious choice for me, but why the sylvan fissure? Perhaps this litle snippet will enlighten:
"It is well-known that electrical stimulation of the right temporal lobe (above the right ear and specifically in the sylvan fissure or laterus sulcus) produces visions of God, hearing beautiful music, seeing dead friends and relatives, even panoramic life reviews."
Yesterday, at work, the assistant manager launched into a three minute imploration during morning briefing. He waved his hands in the air and made his oratory in striding, mellifluous cadences. He concluded with: "... and as bankers and as human beings, PLEASE STOP TAKING THE PENS OFF MY DESK!"
I've lost a bit of weight, which sounds surprising, given that my physical regimen, rather sedentary to start with, has deteriorated further. I only go swimming about once a week these days, if at all lucky. However, the loss of weight may be attributed to stress, lighter meals(too fatigued to binge), and having to run back and forth from my desk to the photocopying machine. Not that my physique has(or ever will, methinks) shows any sign of Greek-godhood. Not even Greek-satyr or Greek-philosopher(some of whom had pretty good bods, if those statues at old Hellenic digs are accurate:) bod, damn it.
Most of the time, I actually have heavy breakfasts and dinners, and light lunches so that I don't get sleepy in the day. In addition, i don't have a fixed lunch time, and one in a while, NO lunch time, so generally it's better to get used to keeping things light.
During a bout of acutely neurotic introspection, I realise that I - invariably - eat either one of three things:
a) The exact same yong tau foo combination at the exact same stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 75% of the time.
(For those who really really *really* want to know - it's two fishballs, two fu pei(the fried crispy doufu skin thing), one liang dou fu,
three tau fu pok, and two fish-cakes, in curry soup.)
b) two chappatis and a garlic naan, at another stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 20% of the time
c) once in a rare while, i'll walk to another cornershop instead and have a chao kuay teow. 5% of the time
And for some reason, when I try to make myself eat something different, I can't bring myself to spend the mental energy needed to conceive of an alternative, make a decision, and actually carry it out. A sign of my increasing degeneration.
Lots of chio chicks at my bank this week, for some reason. Am mildly gratified at being able to ask them questions like, "How much do you want to withdraw?"
or(for some foreigners) "Is this a multiple-entry visa?", or, in the case of joint accounts, "Your husband can place a deposit with you."
I want to be the amygdala. Or the sylvan fissure. For you anatomy students, the amygdala may seem an obvious choice for me, but why the sylvan fissure? Perhaps this litle snippet will enlighten:
"It is well-known that electrical stimulation of the right temporal lobe (above the right ear and specifically in the sylvan fissure or laterus sulcus) produces visions of God, hearing beautiful music, seeing dead friends and relatives, even panoramic life reviews."
Yesterday, at work, the assistant manager launched into a three minute imploration during morning briefing. He waved his hands in the air and made his oratory in striding, mellifluous cadences. He concluded with: "... and as bankers and as human beings, PLEASE STOP TAKING THE PENS OFF MY DESK!"
I've lost a bit of weight, which sounds surprising, given that my physical regimen, rather sedentary to start with, has deteriorated further. I only go swimming about once a week these days, if at all lucky. However, the loss of weight may be attributed to stress, lighter meals(too fatigued to binge), and having to run back and forth from my desk to the photocopying machine. Not that my physique has(or ever will, methinks) shows any sign of Greek-godhood. Not even Greek-satyr or Greek-philosopher(some of whom had pretty good bods, if those statues at old Hellenic digs are accurate:) bod, damn it.
Most of the time, I actually have heavy breakfasts and dinners, and light lunches so that I don't get sleepy in the day. In addition, i don't have a fixed lunch time, and one in a while, NO lunch time, so generally it's better to get used to keeping things light.
During a bout of acutely neurotic introspection, I realise that I - invariably - eat either one of three things:
a) The exact same yong tau foo combination at the exact same stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 75% of the time.
(For those who really really *really* want to know - it's two fishballs, two fu pei(the fried crispy doufu skin thing), one liang dou fu,
three tau fu pok, and two fish-cakes, in curry soup.)
b) two chappatis and a garlic naan, at another stall in the hawker center. i eat this about 20% of the time
c) once in a rare while, i'll walk to another cornershop instead and have a chao kuay teow. 5% of the time
And for some reason, when I try to make myself eat something different, I can't bring myself to spend the mental energy needed to conceive of an alternative, make a decision, and actually carry it out. A sign of my increasing degeneration.
Lots of chio chicks at my bank this week, for some reason. Am mildly gratified at being able to ask them questions like, "How much do you want to withdraw?"
or(for some foreigners) "Is this a multiple-entry visa?", or, in the case of joint accounts, "Your husband can place a deposit with you."
Post ID: 76150682
Thursday, May 02, 2002
Yaaaaaaay!!! My mum's here! My mum and my friends went out to shanghai dumpling kitchen for delicious variety of dumplings and noodles. Then went shopping at bridge road, mum bought a nice polyester waterproof jacket for A$70 for me.
(during lunch)
Albert: Did you know, there's a special knot they use when sewing cadavers?
Andrew (deadpans): I thought they just used a dead knot.
Albert: No, i don't think so... (attempts to describe how to tie the knot)
Andrew: Oh-uh-ohhh-oooh bad pun baaaaaaad pun......
Gabriel's gonna have a fit when he sees my obi-wan "you are xxx" quiz... =p
(Anonymous: The girls in SMU all dress up like they're going clubbing one!!)
(during lunch)
Albert: Did you know, there's a special knot they use when sewing cadavers?
Andrew (deadpans): I thought they just used a dead knot.
Albert: No, i don't think so... (attempts to describe how to tie the knot)
Andrew: Oh-uh-ohhh-oooh bad pun baaaaaaad pun......
Gabriel's gonna have a fit when he sees my obi-wan "you are xxx" quiz... =p
(Anonymous: The girls in SMU all dress up like they're going clubbing one!!)
Post ID: 76074493
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
*Wheeeee* I've always wanted to be Ewan McGregor as Obi-wan Kenobi. Isn't he soooo cooool!!!
Okay, so I tweaked 1 question after i got anakin skywalker the brat. So. Don't u dare say i'm a loser ... even if i am!! Hahahahahahahhaa
Which Star Wars character are you?
Okay, so I tweaked 1 question after i got anakin skywalker the brat. So. Don't u dare say i'm a loser ... even if i am!! Hahahahahahahhaa
Which Star Wars character are you?
Post ID: 76038774
Welcome dom! Honoured by your participation.
My mum just came .... so glad! But she's sick. But we're going out with my bunch for lunch tomorrow! I'm very excited! And using so many exclamation marks doesn't bug me at all now!!!
Who wants to be temporal lobe?
I think the 4-lettered S word qualifies as vulgarity. I have enough of a dilemma just using "crap" (wince).
(wince wince wince) trying to feel better ... strangely sports helps (= . I feel like such an unfit blob, just running a couple of rounds after touch rugby and my calves started to cramp up.
My mum just came .... so glad! But she's sick. But we're going out with my bunch for lunch tomorrow! I'm very excited! And using so many exclamation marks doesn't bug me at all now!!!
Who wants to be temporal lobe?
I think the 4-lettered S word qualifies as vulgarity. I have enough of a dilemma just using "crap" (wince).
(wince wince wince) trying to feel better ... strangely sports helps (= . I feel like such an unfit blob, just running a couple of rounds after touch rugby and my calves started to cramp up.
Post ID: 76038195
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Quizzes / Guard Duty
Ahhhhhhhhh! It's the invasion of the "you are xxx" quizzes. Evil! Evil!
I've guard duty tomorrow. Joy. My aim is to sleep a maximum of 4 hours tonight.
I've guard duty tomorrow. Joy. My aim is to sleep a maximum of 4 hours tonight.
Post ID: 75998262
Monday, April 29, 2002
The word of the day is: "hamartia"
The schizophrenia deepens. Hello Dominic.
Gabriel and I had an argument the other day about whether "shit" was an expletive or not. Gabriel maintains that it isn't, and hence his justified use of it does not render his moral stance against vulgarity null and void. Personally, I feel "shit" would pass the reasonable test as a form of low-grade vulgarity, and hence his self-righteous aversion to profanity is undermined. Gabriel said that he uses it in a literal sense of the word(ie. as a colloquialism for feces), to which I countered that other synonyms exist such as doodoo, turd, mist, poop, duenge, kuso, guano, or caca which no one would consider vulgar.
We continue to exchange arguments of like mettle inside the one brain. Fellow lobes, join in the fight!
Today my senior took sick leave, and my relief officer was on study leave(for some banking certification). As a result, I had to wade through hordes of customers for 7 non-stop hours of hard-core banking. The marauding armies surged at me, threatening to overwhelm my meager defenses. It was us, the few, the proud, the non-malingering(1/3rd of our staff was out on leave of one kind of another, leaving us desperately short-handed). Us against the damn public!(Almost like being in government) Finally, I stood triumphant over a pile of steaming specimen cards and account passbooks! Ah, the sweet pyrrhic taste of victory, dampened only by having to lick and seal 150 letters to customers informing them about the massive savings to be made through our mortgage refinancing packages.
(I hope the glue on those envelopes isn't toxic)
My subscription to the Economist finally came through! Woohoo! I can now have something to read at lunch!(on the days I actually *have* lunch)
Profound insights elude me, so pretension is all I have in place of a life.
*slaps face, in the timed, futile hope that the nerves transmit the pain signals to other parts of our shared brain*
Gabriel, you shouldn't be too hard on those lobes of ours who decide to do things elsewhere. The collective approach to blogging has its drawbacks, and some people like to actually have *lives*(whatever those are). Either that, or maybe the medication's working on them better than it is for us.
To quote from my (real) diary: "I've given my life to a set of obsessions I'm no longer sure are noble; I might be willing to trade in my patented eccentricities for a normal life if there was anything about a normal life I could stand. I live an existence with no resources, allies, or goals, only an acute sense of everything wrong with the world."
If one of our personalities commits suicide, does it bring down the others with him? interesting moral dilemma. That would be one way to prove the matter one way or the other. Shotgun is handy, it leans temptingly at my desk. Albeit heavy, and difficult to cock. Mitiated only by the terrible embarrassment suicide is these days.
Guy Pearce: "How can I heal if I can't feel time?"
But then again, Doris Day: "If life gives you lemons, grab a tequila and make margaritas."
THOUGHTS CAN POP INTO YOUR HEAD INVOLUNTARILY. Like the occasional warped impulse to tear a baby's limb off. Or the sudden desire to do the Macarena *and* the funky monkey at the same time. (it's possible, although it's a reflection of poor planning)
Today, the phone at my desk kept playing the tune from Bridge over the River Kwai. I don't know why. It wouldn't stop. And other people could hear it, so I'm not entirely crazy.I hit every button on it, but it kept playing the tune. For 3 hours. Another officer suggested using a hammer. In the end, I ripped the phone from the line and threw it into the dustbin in a fit of rage, only to have my assistant manager berate me for poor anger control(seriously). I had to fish it out and plug it back in. Thankfully, mercifully, it remained silent. I almost believe in miracles now.
I'm male. Sort of. And army talk doesn't do anything for uniting me, other than my needing to learn it to communicate with some of you warheads.
Schumacher won the Spanish Grand Prix! (erm, was anyone expecting anyone else?)
Post ID: 75958917
Updated my homepage with newly scanned pix: http://www.geocities.com/marshmall0w/
The obstinate 3rd person Andrew just had to put this in after taking the quiz, it's so cuuuuute!
which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen
which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen
Post ID: 75957003
Sunday, April 28, 2002
in a fit of typical feminine peevishness, i'm going to whine about how i'm being termed "a load of inactives". i'm working on the celery stick diet, ok?
don't think you should worry too much about it, gabby. mannerisms reflect one's current environment, i expect you'll slough the uncouth/ill-mannered alter-ego once you leave ns. consider: how often does one get the chance to spout such digit-curling, stomach-roiling expletives with such wild abandon, anyway? ;)
don't think you should worry too much about it, gabby. mannerisms reflect one's current environment, i expect you'll slough the uncouth/ill-mannered alter-ego once you leave ns. consider: how often does one get the chance to spout such digit-curling, stomach-roiling expletives with such wild abandon, anyway? ;)
Post ID: 75923844
*Points out that one inactive has her own blog, and a couple of others are in NS and don't spend as much time as u do online*
WooO! It's like having a new housemate!! *Bakes muffins and distributes them all round*
And u should know my stance on vulgarities. And no it isn't "use the phrase `rabbit killer` as little as possible".
WooO! It's like having a new housemate!! *Bakes muffins and distributes them all round*
And u should know my stance on vulgarities. And no it isn't "use the phrase `rabbit killer` as little as possible".
Post ID: 75920167
I just went for a haircut and the idiot cut my hair almost as short as the Tekong barber would.
"female cadets are very.. unfeminine." - Yong Chin :)
Tze Li on my unhappiness about the taint of unclean thoughts:
"well i pride myself on not using vulgarities but that doesn't mean vulgarities hasn't popped up in my mind before. we can't really control our thoughts to perfection.
yea thoughts often just pop into our heads involuntarily. the best we can do to stay on the moral side of the line is not to act by those thoughts or speak them out. as long as we shove them away and not use them to hurt others, i guess it's good enough."
Words of wisdom :) And Engineer thinks they're okay if you don't vocalise them. Though Yaoi Girl points out that it's the intent behind the words, rather than the words themself. But then I never curse while having an image of flaming meteors raining into the person while his legs are be... Nevermind :)
They're getting more and more annoying and frequent, but I think I'll cope... Fuzzirat says it happens to him too, but it's getting better in his new camp. The SAF is evil, corrupting us so! Oddly enough, Charmian claims that guys become gentlemen once they come out of the army.
If all goes well, by the end of the day we'll have one more guest star on this blog! *Prods the load of inactives*
"female cadets are very.. unfeminine." - Yong Chin :)
Tze Li on my unhappiness about the taint of unclean thoughts:
"well i pride myself on not using vulgarities but that doesn't mean vulgarities hasn't popped up in my mind before. we can't really control our thoughts to perfection.
yea thoughts often just pop into our heads involuntarily. the best we can do to stay on the moral side of the line is not to act by those thoughts or speak them out. as long as we shove them away and not use them to hurt others, i guess it's good enough."
Words of wisdom :) And Engineer thinks they're okay if you don't vocalise them. Though Yaoi Girl points out that it's the intent behind the words, rather than the words themself. But then I never curse while having an image of flaming meteors raining into the person while his legs are be... Nevermind :)
They're getting more and more annoying and frequent, but I think I'll cope... Fuzzirat says it happens to him too, but it's getting better in his new camp. The SAF is evil, corrupting us so! Oddly enough, Charmian claims that guys become gentlemen once they come out of the army.
If all goes well, by the end of the day we'll have one more guest star on this blog! *Prods the load of inactives*
Post ID: 75919121
Bookout post:
Restored Post
The creepy crawlies are very irritating. We have bees flying around the ceiling lights in the morning. Grr.
Even after I'd handed over the post of Platoon I/C, I still had to do some of the work of the post. This week's i/c didn't know the Medic's Pledge, so I had to lead the company *again* on monday. Luckily it was raining on Friday morning, so I didn't have to strain my voice again. But apparently I was visibly joyful at not being the i/c anymore - people kept saying I looked very happy because of the load lifted off my shoulders.
This week's platoon i/c caused me a lot of trouble last week, making plenty of snide remarks from within the file and generally being a noisy nuisance. As a platoon mate puts it, "he either f***s you from the front of f***s you from the file". Being the i/c this week, he was a bit subdued but his glorious character still shone through. Next week he'll be back to normal and since we're all familiar with each other by now, he'll be busily making the i/c's life difficult again. Anyhow he wasn't that great as an i/c - for one, he dismissed us ('keluar baris') when we were lined in 3 long columns, as opposed to 3 long rows as it should be. But despite that and several other foul ups, few complained, at last not in front of him, probably due to the fact that the biggest complainers normally are him and his friend (who happens to have a shortened version of his name).
Because of my neglecting to secure a copy of my Hep B documentation, I had to go to Maju Camp for Hep B screening :( On monday, we all loaded up a tonner, and sat comfortably (there were only 12 or 13 people to the tonner, as opposed to the usual 20-30) for the ride to Maju. And when we arrived we were told, "Don't ask why, we're going back". Well done, efficient and well-run SAF.
During last Friday's guard duty, the rest of the company had a talk by the Course Commander. Apparently he told them that the Commanding Officer would be signing an indemnity form "in a few days", then we would all be able to bring mobile phones in. However, since the SAF has a warped sense of time (my ~$200 credit for buying SAF goods still hasn't arrived), and is ever efficient and well-run, we still haven't been given the green light (so they can stop hiding their phones in their dirty clothes and underwear) and might not till the end of the course!
Even after my 20kg net weight loss since enslavement, my veins are still invisible. Makes for jolly blood drawing sessions and IV practices. Well anyhow it's not due to fat, at least not solely or mainly - my sister has beautiful veins, according to a nurse who poked her before.
The drinks vendor at the canteen earns so much that he has a car. Gah.
I brought in my leopard Beanie Baby, "Sneaky" at the start of week 2. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I found that some guy with nothing better to do had mummified him with Wide Open Weave (WOW) and Transpore Tape. So I had to use my Paramedic Scissors to cut him loose. (...) I've since brought Sneaky back, but I hope nothing happens to the polar bear which I brought in Wednesday.
It's alleged I have a silly smile, like Teo Shiyi. Ahh!
Another advantage of sleeping on the floor - no bedbugs! Yes, I've experienced what, hitherto, was reserved for cautionary tales during Health Education lessons (or was it History lessons on our suffering forefathers?). Horrible. I've never seen them, but the bump is very big, and it itches horribly. Must be the foam mattresses we are given. So I'm marginally safer in this respect. But then, as someone pointed out, on the floor you've every other thing except bedbugs... Hope my polar bear doesn't get infected with any insects.
Someone who is a contract slave says that the food is about the same standard as when the SAF had NSmen cooks. So we're not that much removed from that generation's culinary sufferings.
On Tuesday, we waited again for our transport to Maju to be poked. While waiting, I bought a drink from the vending machine, and when I was done, I followed the instructions given on this sign:
"Go Green!
Recycle!
1) Please crush your cans and dispose them here
2) Do your bit to save Earth
3) Thanks for the good deed"
For my trouble, I was scolded by a corporal, who asked if I wanted him to pick the can up for me.
On reaching Maju camp, I was shocked to see the TSS (Temporary Support Staff) "YX Lau" (Jason Lau) and "G Yong" (Yong Gen) grinning at me, and saying "we'll be poking you [all] later". Though they weren't too thrilled at the prospect of having to hold me down while they worked. They and their lot gathered around me, but couldn't find any veins (as is usual), so luckily they let the real medic draw my blood. The rest of them were unfortunate, however, and most were poked at least twice, as the inept TSS "topo-ed" a lot. Steven, with very prominent veins, came out with 3 plasters, and we all chuckled.
There was a weighing scale at Maju Medical Centre, so I took the opportunity to weigh myself. 91.8kg with Boots, wallet and No 4. Not bad. And apparently my peripheral equipment weighs just under 2kg.
A thought that struck me on the way back from Maju: If a Malay or Indian illegitimate child is born, and they don't know the father's name, what do they call him/her?
After we came back from Maju, we had IV. Yeh, so I was poked twice in one day. Steven poked me in the left wrist. The left wrist, dammit, with little flesh to reduce the pain. It still hurts a little as I am typing this. But I feel quite bad myself because I failed 2 IVs on 2 people, the first through no fault of my own - no backflow came out even with the instructor's ministrations, and the second because I dislodged the catheter by pulling the needle out instead of pushing the catheter in. Now I'll do 2 next week. Oh well.
Tan Yew Yew's guide to picking oranges: Choose those with a big "navel" and preferably, the growth from the navel must extend outside it.
On Tuesday, our night off was burned when this guy from Time Magazine came down to try to sell us Time Magazine, at $0.90 off the subscription price. He offered us a choice of gifts. One was a Pooh Bear in fatigues (Eee!!!). Another was an overstock of a Life book - "Our Call to Arms", on Pearl Harbor. And the last was leftover phonecards from Time's 75th Anniversary (3 years haven't been enough to get rid of them apparently).
The Bruneians came back from one (of the millions) night off, and they had prata for the malays! Gah.
I've found a third person in my platoon who doesn't shave. Yeh!
After a canteen break, I was hiding behind the training shed and singing latin songs. Apparently I freaked some of the people out, as they thought that there was a little girl singing.
Every time we have a canteen break, I see the Malays eating Nasi Lemak. It seems they don't get tired of it, even after 3 weeks. I wonder if they'll still be eating it after another 8 weeks.
[Some of] The Malays also like to walk around naked in the bunk. It's really disgusting, the nonchalent way they do it - they've no sense of shame. And it led to someone making fun of their "peanuts" (ahem).
The food at SMM really "cannot make it", which is why you often see permstaff buying food back from outside (like Burger King). When it comes to survey time, some people put 2 chips in the "poor" slot. I think the workers have given up on us - one of them told the other, "bu4 yao4 kan4 le4. Ta1 men2 suo1 bu4 hao3 jiu4 shi4 bu4 hao3" - "Don't look [at what slot they're putting the chips into], if they think we're bad, we're bad". So we know why we've so many cats over there. Also, the vegetables at the cookhouse are perenially undercooked. Perhaps this is to make up for the overcooked vegetables at Tekong. At least we've had one good meal so far - Nasi Lemak on Tuesday night, with a chicken wing with pineapple and raisins (wah), and large onion omelette. We can't count on good food, though and so I brought in copious quantities of food in. I suspect one of my giant Carte d'Or Hazelnut bars got stolen, though. I'll have to lock everything in the cupboard next time!
The people who pop up. Arvindren OOCed from OCS and popped up in SMM as a TSS. He's to join the July course as a combat medic. Yeh.
I feel really silly. I'm the only idiot who didn't bring in a handphone, and no one's been caught yet (and indeed, may ever be).
It's quite sad, people were holding forth a discourse in the bunk on the breasts of the girls in FHM. Oh well.
I think slavery lowers our standard for jokes - even really crappy and lousy jokes elicit at least a chuckle from the lot of us.
They squeeze so much into us in just 5-6 weeks. Someone claims that we're actually doing a compressed 8 month course, but even if that isn't true, it is a great deal to study and absorb in such a short time. And we've a casualty aid test on monday, which may cause me to necessitate burning a weekend for a retest.
A female Bruneian cut the canteen queue and wasn't forcibly ejected. Gah. The Bruneians all have 5 digit army serial numbers, like slaves, and apaprently they all own cars.
We only have 2 compulsory water parades a day - before 5BX and during the last parade, and sometimes these are "drink beyond your point of thirst" affairs. Less water torture!
It was quite disgusting - 4 people were seated on a bed, gathered around this guy who was playing Muzak ringtones on his Samsung polyphonic ringtone phone, and some of them were shaking their heads with the music.
Our course is certified by the Justice Institute of British Columbia, Paramedic Academy. Unfortunately, the certificates have expired. Aww.
The sergeant who projects his "garang" aspirations on us (not fulfilling them himself, whether due to physical inability or something else) has given us bad feelings and deep fears about the combat phase and our future unit life. Ugh.
My bunk, bunk 1, is transformed into a gym at night! Dave puts on his black gloves and becomes a personal trainer, training people with pushups and dips. Ah, but that's not it. He brought in dumbbells and barbells. Woo.
Zhang and I were discussing the insidious effect that the army environment has, and we concur that: everytime something bad happens, the vulgarities spring unbidden to mind.
Quotes:
"[During Stand By Bed] This glove. For what? Sell chicken rice?"
"Why [did] you sign on? [Commando: I love my country.] You love the pay, don't bullshit."
"[Trainee while marching: Good afternoon Sir] Good afternoon, carry on, enjoy yourselves."
"[On me] Do all RJ people give that stupid smile?... Because both you and Teo Shiyi give that stupid smile."
"[To someone] Fuck you, don't talk to me about SISPEC. I hate that place."
"Everyday, the breakfast lunch and dinner here, cannot make it."
"Is it really that nice to smoke? Why does everyone like to smoke?"
"[On me copying the sign urging us to recycle our cans] What are you copying?... Eh, don't be stupid eh. Copy my boot size also!... 'Today, I followed instructions on the board. Then I kenna fucked. The guy asked me, the can, waiting for him to throw?' (was I waiting for him to throw the can away)"
"[To Steve] Everyday, see you, never bathe... Jee bye, come back bunk, put some powder then sleep. You think field camp ah? (I never see you bathing, you come back to the, and then, this is field)"
"Hope that you have Hep B. Serious. Then you're excused IV, that means you can poke your buddy, [but] your buddy cannot poke you... Get AIDS. You cannot poke your buddy, your buddy cannot poke you."
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] That's the guy. It's this guy, fucking hell. That's the fucker who missed my vein."
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] They poke, draw blood. Three quarters full. Then, no blood... 'Sorry ah, sorry ah.' Then the other guy, 'Don't worry, it's not our blood.' (poked and drew, Till it was three, there was no more blood, guy said)"
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] We should bring [our] MOP here and shoot IOV here. Shoot on them. (MOPs)"
"[To me during Hep B screening] Fuck, how [do] you take IV? Next time [during] IV lessons [they] must tie you to a stretcher."
"[On not minding IVing someone, but not liking being IVed himself] It's like when you rape someone, you feel shiok, but when you kenna raped, you don't feel shiok."
"But Gabriel, seriously, I've never seen you with a hard on... It makes you wonder. [Goes on to make some comment about when I had wet underwear on and he couldn't see any outline]"
"[On specifics in bandaging of wounds] In your course, you must know this. In real life, I tell you, nobody cares."
"Next is the clavicle. You know where's the clavicle? It's this bone here. All the girls have this, very sexy."
"[Handphone rings] Na beh, all these girls. [Trainees protest] It's a guy lah, 'Desmond'."
"[On people in Units] They bastard you, they see the catheter, they scared already. You just whack one time... sadistic ah. (If they treat you badly, once)"
"Don't go and take the rectal thermometer and put it in the mouth."
"[On my polar bear] Gabriel, you gay ah?"
"I didn't know Nanyang Girls' School looks so nice, sia... Look at the clock. [Me: You're referring to the building right.] The building, not the girls - forget it."
"[On his drawing of a heart] Testicle, what? Take out yours and put it up here."
"[On dinner] Stayout personnel, if you all are not eating, make a motion of going down and coming back up."
"[On a blood donation drive] I donate sperm."
"Last batch, we had no female trainees, but the Miss CMC. Wah."
"In Singapore, you know why? All these people, they study too much already. You punish them too much, they write letter to minister to complain, then you're in trouble. (study, If you, they will, letters to the)"
"Why do you think the girls join army? [They're] Hopeless, can't find jobs outside."
Barry has just told me what the other letters of SISPEC stand for! So far I've only heard it referred to as "Suffer In Silence" but now I know it stands for "Suffer in Silence Plus Extra Confinement". Ahh. Yeah I'm slow.
Restored Post
The creepy crawlies are very irritating. We have bees flying around the ceiling lights in the morning. Grr.
Even after I'd handed over the post of Platoon I/C, I still had to do some of the work of the post. This week's i/c didn't know the Medic's Pledge, so I had to lead the company *again* on monday. Luckily it was raining on Friday morning, so I didn't have to strain my voice again. But apparently I was visibly joyful at not being the i/c anymore - people kept saying I looked very happy because of the load lifted off my shoulders.
This week's platoon i/c caused me a lot of trouble last week, making plenty of snide remarks from within the file and generally being a noisy nuisance. As a platoon mate puts it, "he either f***s you from the front of f***s you from the file". Being the i/c this week, he was a bit subdued but his glorious character still shone through. Next week he'll be back to normal and since we're all familiar with each other by now, he'll be busily making the i/c's life difficult again. Anyhow he wasn't that great as an i/c - for one, he dismissed us ('keluar baris') when we were lined in 3 long columns, as opposed to 3 long rows as it should be. But despite that and several other foul ups, few complained, at last not in front of him, probably due to the fact that the biggest complainers normally are him and his friend (who happens to have a shortened version of his name).
Because of my neglecting to secure a copy of my Hep B documentation, I had to go to Maju Camp for Hep B screening :( On monday, we all loaded up a tonner, and sat comfortably (there were only 12 or 13 people to the tonner, as opposed to the usual 20-30) for the ride to Maju. And when we arrived we were told, "Don't ask why, we're going back". Well done, efficient and well-run SAF.
During last Friday's guard duty, the rest of the company had a talk by the Course Commander. Apparently he told them that the Commanding Officer would be signing an indemnity form "in a few days", then we would all be able to bring mobile phones in. However, since the SAF has a warped sense of time (my ~$200 credit for buying SAF goods still hasn't arrived), and is ever efficient and well-run, we still haven't been given the green light (so they can stop hiding their phones in their dirty clothes and underwear) and might not till the end of the course!
Even after my 20kg net weight loss since enslavement, my veins are still invisible. Makes for jolly blood drawing sessions and IV practices. Well anyhow it's not due to fat, at least not solely or mainly - my sister has beautiful veins, according to a nurse who poked her before.
The drinks vendor at the canteen earns so much that he has a car. Gah.
I brought in my leopard Beanie Baby, "Sneaky" at the start of week 2. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I found that some guy with nothing better to do had mummified him with Wide Open Weave (WOW) and Transpore Tape. So I had to use my Paramedic Scissors to cut him loose. (...) I've since brought Sneaky back, but I hope nothing happens to the polar bear which I brought in Wednesday.
It's alleged I have a silly smile, like Teo Shiyi. Ahh!
Another advantage of sleeping on the floor - no bedbugs! Yes, I've experienced what, hitherto, was reserved for cautionary tales during Health Education lessons (or was it History lessons on our suffering forefathers?). Horrible. I've never seen them, but the bump is very big, and it itches horribly. Must be the foam mattresses we are given. So I'm marginally safer in this respect. But then, as someone pointed out, on the floor you've every other thing except bedbugs... Hope my polar bear doesn't get infected with any insects.
Someone who is a contract slave says that the food is about the same standard as when the SAF had NSmen cooks. So we're not that much removed from that generation's culinary sufferings.
On Tuesday, we waited again for our transport to Maju to be poked. While waiting, I bought a drink from the vending machine, and when I was done, I followed the instructions given on this sign:
"Go Green!
Recycle!
1) Please crush your cans and dispose them here
2) Do your bit to save Earth
3) Thanks for the good deed"
For my trouble, I was scolded by a corporal, who asked if I wanted him to pick the can up for me.
On reaching Maju camp, I was shocked to see the TSS (Temporary Support Staff) "YX Lau" (Jason Lau) and "G Yong" (Yong Gen) grinning at me, and saying "we'll be poking you [all] later". Though they weren't too thrilled at the prospect of having to hold me down while they worked. They and their lot gathered around me, but couldn't find any veins (as is usual), so luckily they let the real medic draw my blood. The rest of them were unfortunate, however, and most were poked at least twice, as the inept TSS "topo-ed" a lot. Steven, with very prominent veins, came out with 3 plasters, and we all chuckled.
There was a weighing scale at Maju Medical Centre, so I took the opportunity to weigh myself. 91.8kg with Boots, wallet and No 4. Not bad. And apparently my peripheral equipment weighs just under 2kg.
A thought that struck me on the way back from Maju: If a Malay or Indian illegitimate child is born, and they don't know the father's name, what do they call him/her?
After we came back from Maju, we had IV. Yeh, so I was poked twice in one day. Steven poked me in the left wrist. The left wrist, dammit, with little flesh to reduce the pain. It still hurts a little as I am typing this. But I feel quite bad myself because I failed 2 IVs on 2 people, the first through no fault of my own - no backflow came out even with the instructor's ministrations, and the second because I dislodged the catheter by pulling the needle out instead of pushing the catheter in. Now I'll do 2 next week. Oh well.
Tan Yew Yew's guide to picking oranges: Choose those with a big "navel" and preferably, the growth from the navel must extend outside it.
On Tuesday, our night off was burned when this guy from Time Magazine came down to try to sell us Time Magazine, at $0.90 off the subscription price. He offered us a choice of gifts. One was a Pooh Bear in fatigues (Eee!!!). Another was an overstock of a Life book - "Our Call to Arms", on Pearl Harbor. And the last was leftover phonecards from Time's 75th Anniversary (3 years haven't been enough to get rid of them apparently).
The Bruneians came back from one (of the millions) night off, and they had prata for the malays! Gah.
I've found a third person in my platoon who doesn't shave. Yeh!
After a canteen break, I was hiding behind the training shed and singing latin songs. Apparently I freaked some of the people out, as they thought that there was a little girl singing.
Every time we have a canteen break, I see the Malays eating Nasi Lemak. It seems they don't get tired of it, even after 3 weeks. I wonder if they'll still be eating it after another 8 weeks.
[Some of] The Malays also like to walk around naked in the bunk. It's really disgusting, the nonchalent way they do it - they've no sense of shame. And it led to someone making fun of their "peanuts" (ahem).
The food at SMM really "cannot make it", which is why you often see permstaff buying food back from outside (like Burger King). When it comes to survey time, some people put 2 chips in the "poor" slot. I think the workers have given up on us - one of them told the other, "bu4 yao4 kan4 le4. Ta1 men2 suo1 bu4 hao3 jiu4 shi4 bu4 hao3" - "Don't look [at what slot they're putting the chips into], if they think we're bad, we're bad". So we know why we've so many cats over there. Also, the vegetables at the cookhouse are perenially undercooked. Perhaps this is to make up for the overcooked vegetables at Tekong. At least we've had one good meal so far - Nasi Lemak on Tuesday night, with a chicken wing with pineapple and raisins (wah), and large onion omelette. We can't count on good food, though and so I brought in copious quantities of food in. I suspect one of my giant Carte d'Or Hazelnut bars got stolen, though. I'll have to lock everything in the cupboard next time!
The people who pop up. Arvindren OOCed from OCS and popped up in SMM as a TSS. He's to join the July course as a combat medic. Yeh.
I feel really silly. I'm the only idiot who didn't bring in a handphone, and no one's been caught yet (and indeed, may ever be).
It's quite sad, people were holding forth a discourse in the bunk on the breasts of the girls in FHM. Oh well.
I think slavery lowers our standard for jokes - even really crappy and lousy jokes elicit at least a chuckle from the lot of us.
They squeeze so much into us in just 5-6 weeks. Someone claims that we're actually doing a compressed 8 month course, but even if that isn't true, it is a great deal to study and absorb in such a short time. And we've a casualty aid test on monday, which may cause me to necessitate burning a weekend for a retest.
A female Bruneian cut the canteen queue and wasn't forcibly ejected. Gah. The Bruneians all have 5 digit army serial numbers, like slaves, and apaprently they all own cars.
We only have 2 compulsory water parades a day - before 5BX and during the last parade, and sometimes these are "drink beyond your point of thirst" affairs. Less water torture!
It was quite disgusting - 4 people were seated on a bed, gathered around this guy who was playing Muzak ringtones on his Samsung polyphonic ringtone phone, and some of them were shaking their heads with the music.
Our course is certified by the Justice Institute of British Columbia, Paramedic Academy. Unfortunately, the certificates have expired. Aww.
The sergeant who projects his "garang" aspirations on us (not fulfilling them himself, whether due to physical inability or something else) has given us bad feelings and deep fears about the combat phase and our future unit life. Ugh.
My bunk, bunk 1, is transformed into a gym at night! Dave puts on his black gloves and becomes a personal trainer, training people with pushups and dips. Ah, but that's not it. He brought in dumbbells and barbells. Woo.
Zhang and I were discussing the insidious effect that the army environment has, and we concur that: everytime something bad happens, the vulgarities spring unbidden to mind.
Quotes:
"[During Stand By Bed] This glove. For what? Sell chicken rice?"
"Why [did] you sign on? [Commando: I love my country.] You love the pay, don't bullshit."
"[Trainee while marching: Good afternoon Sir] Good afternoon, carry on, enjoy yourselves."
"[On me] Do all RJ people give that stupid smile?... Because both you and Teo Shiyi give that stupid smile."
"[To someone] Fuck you, don't talk to me about SISPEC. I hate that place."
"Everyday, the breakfast lunch and dinner here, cannot make it."
"Is it really that nice to smoke? Why does everyone like to smoke?"
"[On me copying the sign urging us to recycle our cans] What are you copying?... Eh, don't be stupid eh. Copy my boot size also!... 'Today, I followed instructions on the board. Then I kenna fucked. The guy asked me, the can, waiting for him to throw?' (was I waiting for him to throw the can away)"
"[To Steve] Everyday, see you, never bathe... Jee bye, come back bunk, put some powder then sleep. You think field camp ah? (I never see you bathing, you come back to the, and then, this is field)"
"Hope that you have Hep B. Serious. Then you're excused IV, that means you can poke your buddy, [but] your buddy cannot poke you... Get AIDS. You cannot poke your buddy, your buddy cannot poke you."
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] That's the guy. It's this guy, fucking hell. That's the fucker who missed my vein."
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] They poke, draw blood. Three quarters full. Then, no blood... 'Sorry ah, sorry ah.' Then the other guy, 'Don't worry, it's not our blood.' (poked and drew, Till it was three, there was no more blood, guy said)"
"[On Hep B screening by TSS] We should bring [our] MOP here and shoot IOV here. Shoot on them. (MOPs)"
"[To me during Hep B screening] Fuck, how [do] you take IV? Next time [during] IV lessons [they] must tie you to a stretcher."
"[On not minding IVing someone, but not liking being IVed himself] It's like when you rape someone, you feel shiok, but when you kenna raped, you don't feel shiok."
"But Gabriel, seriously, I've never seen you with a hard on... It makes you wonder. [Goes on to make some comment about when I had wet underwear on and he couldn't see any outline]"
"[On specifics in bandaging of wounds] In your course, you must know this. In real life, I tell you, nobody cares."
"Next is the clavicle. You know where's the clavicle? It's this bone here. All the girls have this, very sexy."
"[Handphone rings] Na beh, all these girls. [Trainees protest] It's a guy lah, 'Desmond'."
"[On people in Units] They bastard you, they see the catheter, they scared already. You just whack one time... sadistic ah. (If they treat you badly, once)"
"Don't go and take the rectal thermometer and put it in the mouth."
"[On my polar bear] Gabriel, you gay ah?"
"I didn't know Nanyang Girls' School looks so nice, sia... Look at the clock. [Me: You're referring to the building right.] The building, not the girls - forget it."
"[On his drawing of a heart] Testicle, what? Take out yours and put it up here."
"[On dinner] Stayout personnel, if you all are not eating, make a motion of going down and coming back up."
"[On a blood donation drive] I donate sperm."
"Last batch, we had no female trainees, but the Miss CMC. Wah."
"In Singapore, you know why? All these people, they study too much already. You punish them too much, they write letter to minister to complain, then you're in trouble. (study, If you, they will, letters to the)"
"Why do you think the girls join army? [They're] Hopeless, can't find jobs outside."
Barry has just told me what the other letters of SISPEC stand for! So far I've only heard it referred to as "Suffer In Silence" but now I know it stands for "Suffer in Silence Plus Extra Confinement". Ahh. Yeah I'm slow.
Post ID: 75896995
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