Bookout post:

Restored Post

This past week passed very fast, perhaps because it was very slack except for some unnameble activity. Which some guy, a lucky disruptee, elsewhere has seen fit to write about, so I'll just link you there :)

During our Patient Assessment Model (PAM) test, people were very bored, so they started catching insects and other lifeforms in a ziploc bag. I saw a giant centipede, a worm and a giant spiders in the bag the first time. A while later, the spider was out of the bag and lying on a stone platform, unable to move. Apparently it'd been stung by the centipede and was paralysed. Later, the giant centipede was given company by a lizard, more spiders and smaller centipedes.

The people I was sitting with, however, chose to spend out time less destructively. We discussed cartoons, of the 80s especially (ahh, the joy of nostalgia). And for some reason Power Rangers came into the picture, and some of them liked Kimberly, my nickname-sake.

We had a big spring cleaning, which we should have done when we first moved in. The amount of dust we cleaned out was unbelievable. During the activity, I very cleverly smashed my handphone screen by holding the phone in the same hand as a brush and whacking the brush on the floor to get rid of the dust. Increasing my level of euphoria, my father sent it in for servicing already and I can't find my guarantee card, so I'll probably have to fork out $150 for the repair. Oh well, at least my slave pittance increases by at least $110 from July 1st.

In response to Folie's appeals for material to pin on the noticeboard, somebody brought a 2002 Pullout Calender from an asian edition of Penthouse magazine (with no nudity though). Attempts to cover the word "Penthouse" with liberal application of a black marker proved futile, however, and even if anything else had been put up on the board - it lies bare to this day, Saturday May 18th 2002, I'm not sure if the calender would have gone up.

Sargunan blasted Indian music through some speakers and within minutes, 2-3 Indians had come down from the upper floors and were grooving along.

We're supposed to do pullups before lunch and dinner, but for 3 weeks, we hadn't done any. Until Saturday lunch, when my pathetic attempts were as futile as ever.

Zhang's wife gave birth on sunday night/monday morning and the SAF gave him 3 days paternity leave, usable within 8 weeks. I suggested taking 1 of them on stretcher carrying day and one on river crossing day :)

Willie is the darling of the Bruneian girls so we all make fun of him :) He also brought in a Gameboy Colour which he plays at night. Actually I've also seen a Gameboy Advance, but I'm not sure whose it is.

People seem to have a FHM library - the American edition, the Malaysia edition (which I'm told sucks and is uninteresting) and back issues of the Singapore edition. Competition to loan from this library is intense.

A kitten got run down by some guy. As I was marching, I saw it on the road - the eyeballs were bulging out, the skin at the back was split and the internal organs were visible. And there was meat on the road. Ugh. The mother was mewing loudly for a few days after that. So much for cats being smart.

5 people ordered supper from Daniel Ng who was coming back from Attn C. His bag was full, so he carried the booty in his hands, and was promptly caught. All of them signed extra duties. Oh well.

Someone brought a CD in and it's been playing all week. I've tentatively called it "The most irritating dance music of all time". Ahhhh!

During our field camp we won't need to wear camo, it's 4 days and 3 nights but effectively ~72 hours as we arrive in the afternoon and depart in the afternoon, it's held on flat land and best of all we will get portable toilets (those plastic structures you see at outdoor functions)!.

Our company quartermaster is only PES B! And he sometimes puts a funky hairband in his hair. Oh, and he's Tony Tan's son. Or at least he said that he was. Whether he was joking or was trying to trick gullible looking me is the question.

For a change, during Tuesday's night off, I went to eat dinner with Steven and Daniel, at Pastamania at Scotts. It's very good for the price!

Joshua was reading FHM and he happened to mention that the girl there was the Yellow Ranger (and commented that she was hot). Looking at the article, who did I see but Cerina Vincent, whom you can see on Power Rangers Lost Galaxy on weekends on Channel i at 6:30, playing an buxom native of Mirinoi. Ooo, from Power Rangers to FHM :)

We were discussing our camp and apparently it was a World War II hospital, as can be told from the architecture. For one, the plumbing was apparently obsolete by 1975.

Apparently SAF canteens are supposed to serve health food. What a joke, look at ours! The noodles ooze oil as you pick them from the plate.

I realise that I've been free of the flu for quite a while! I think I've finally shaken off the Tekong Flu virus - and it *is* a virus, because SMM is a hell of a lot dirtier and older than Tekong. Either that or it's a curse placed by the malay villagers who used to live there.

The cookhouse food may suck but one thing they're reasonably competent in making is omelettes. Yum. Also, we had a superb nightsnack on monday night - puff pastry filled with red bean paste. However, the fish is apparently so bad that even the cats will not deign to touch it. Newest euphemism - "Mutton Bombay". Not as bad as "Chicken Kleo", served during Joshua's TSS time though :) Someone said that SISPEC has the best food in the SAF because the people there train hard. Which explains why our food is so sucky :)

Someone played "My Heart Will Go On" over the speakers and everyone started singing along. It was so bad, I took the earplugs from my webbing and wrapped a towel around my head.

While I was sleeping, some bloody bastard hanged my polar bear from a hanger with transpore tape. The result being that when I removed the tape, however carefully, some of the fur from around the neck came out. I don't mind if they "play" with me, but only scum bully soft toys! When the previously mentioned "garang" sergeant found out (he happened to ask after the polar bear), he knocked everyone down and said he didn't want this sort of thing happening in his platoon so I think we're not going to sabotage each other anymore. Much.

The Medical Officer Conversion Course (MOCC) trainees have an interesting way of singing their marching songs - not very loud, but clipped and precisely.

Looking through my sms inbox, I found that 2 of them have been there rather long. One dates from 26/3 and contains advice on downgrading from Filbie :) The other was from Andrew, sent before he left (16/2), an extract from Psalms 27:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?"

Actually I prefer Psalm 23.

One of the malays in my bunk came up to me and said that he felt that calling "Canadian 2 for 1 Pizza" "Malay 2 for 1 Pizza" was rather racist. I don't actually see why - 90% of the people who work there are Malay, so what's wrong with an affectionate name (even if they do burn their pizzas)? If I called it "Long Haired Blondes' Pizza", no one'd be offended.

Latest people to pop up in SMM: Matthew Seah, who's recovering from some ligament op (ouch! My condolences!) and is due to be a service medic (lucky guy!) and Mr Kamal, my history teacher for the latter half of J2, who'd returned for reservist!

Mr Kamal: "Your website still running, with all your teachers' slipups?"
Me: "... All my sergeants' slipups"

Some woman from NUH came down to talk to us to urge us to donate blood so they could extract platelets to save the life of this 22 year old Chinese girl. This is all well and good, but what I don't understand is why they came down specially just to save 1 person - shouldn't this come under a more general blood donation drive which would save more than 1 person?

The new camp will have 8 trainees to each bunk. That's 1/4 the load of my bunk now! Oh well, they've an SOC ground nearby.

Apparently now some A level people also go to the pest buster vocation ("Public Health Assistant"), which entails undergoing a 5 week course, and where the instructors are Lance Corporals. I want also!

Everytime my platoon mates talk about female instructors or, hell, any female, the first thing they will mention or discuss is whether she looks good, whether she "can make it". This is very sad, and it just shows how screwed up the male gender is. I only hope that it's because slavery exacerbates their primal instincts, and normally they won't behave that way.

Our IV this week was interrupted by something unusual - there was a snake in the training shed, coiled around the roofbeams. It was green and rather long and had black rings along its length. The last I saw before going down to the mess tentage, the sergeants were posturing with a stick. I don't think they're actually trained in snake catching :) After that little scare, we had to resume practice (unfortunately). This week the Yakult Straw (1.77mm thick if I remember right) was inserted into me by my buddy. And he's really good, as in other aspects of the medic vocation. I didn't even *cry* this time. Of course, not being poked at the wrist did help :) As did the support from friends around and my mumbling and singing. I must learn more songs suitable to be sung acapella by only 1 part, and memorise longer tracts. I'm blessed :)

Next week is going to be very tiring. Monday - transportation of casualties with and without stretchers. Wednesday - loading onto vehicles and helicopters. Friday - crossing of water obstacles. Ugh! No wonder our book in timing's 9:30pm.

Some of my platoon mates thought I looked like a golfer. Wth.

Every saturday morning we fall in to go for breakfast, and every saturday morning, without fail, the sergeants will not be around because they are all sleeping! Grr. Anyhow we took advantage of their absence and half of us (including me) ran back to our bunk to sleep (advisable especially considering the length of the queue).

Zhang brought in food for us to thank us for being so supportive of him during the time of his baby's birth - Old Chang Kee Curry Puffs and Polar Egg Tarts. Interestingly, there were "Nutrition Facts" on the side of the Curry Puff boxes, which rather amused me.

Heard: One guy who's now in Gryphon was raped by another recruit. The rapist went to jail. Also heard: "apparently DB is quite nice now. relatively. they don't carry sandbags anymore. its more like jail with PT every few days. eat sleep. fun."

Seeing my scribblings, someone said my writing was messy and I could become a doctor. Gah.


Quotes:

"[Muslim on the tudung issue] Next time I start my own religion. Go to school wear underwear. (I'll, They'll go, wearing)"

"[On the 4th Batman movie] The latest one was Batman and Friends right."

"I think normal guys' hands are not big enough for her top... [Someone else: She's an E, she's an E. She's 32E]... It's natural... [SOmeone else: This is called saggy breasts] (???)"

"[Greeting a Second Sergeant] Good evening Sir... Good evening Staff... Good evening Sergeant. [Sergeant: Call me Mister. Good morning mister.] Good evening Mister. [Sergeant: Good evening, carry on.] [Other sergeant: ORD personnel]"

"Your earlobes. I love your earlobes, Gabriel."

"[On sports medicine and the Bruneians] You see, now they are starting to catch mosquito, very boring. (mosquitoes, the lesson's)"

"Like acupuncture, you use the needle to poke the nerves (pressure points)"

"[On playing with a lighter] Roy, what are you doing? Before we move, [you] try to burn the camp down."

"It's better to have a rifle than not to have a rifle. Otherwise you look so cock standing by the side of the road doing this. [Mimes pointing rifle]"

"Combat rations is nice to eat one. I like to eat combat rations... [But the] Course Commander force me to eat fresh rations. (are, eat, will force)"

"[On bra pulling] The girls in my secondary school used to do that to each other. [Mimes pulling someone's shirt and letting go] After PE lesson they'll come back and do that, in front of the guys."

"What is the first [method of disease] prevention?... Wear clean clothes everyday. How many days you wear your uniform already?... Just now in the company audit I almost fainted. I don't know how the 2 ladies can stand it. (have you worn)"

"Other than certain people, I'm sure our Bruneian friends bathed before the lecture. [Trainee: Standing order{s say we cannot bathe during office hours}]... When I was a trainee you know how many times a day I bathe?"

"The medic is always very well liked, because if he earns the trust of the PC, if he earns the trust of the sect com, then he has the authority to say, this soldier is not feeling well [and should not train]"

"[On behaviour modification] It's up to you to encourage them not to smoke. And not to get non-smokers to smoke."

"[On our reluctance to hang clothes on the lines] Monkey will not steal your clothes lah (The monkey)"

"[On unhygienic food] You want to get MC, go and take canteen food"

"[On fake sore eyes, pretended conjunctivitis, faked by rubbing soapy water into the eys] Some cases, they will isolate you in the sick bay, until you recover, then they send you back. These are for the cases like fake sore eyes. They go and IV you, let the medic practice his IV. IV won't kill you one, just don't flush."

"[On me] Not to say you, but you don't have the attitude to keng one"