Quotes:

[On a picture of someone in a spaghetti strap] What an interesting picture... Is she wearing clothes? [Student 2: You better hope she doesn't have a black man for a boyfriend, otherwise he'll come beat you]

hammar party (hammer) (written)

lighting party (lightning) (written)

Most of the people of his age, they have been rised (his, raised)

So there's a snow board effect (ball)

[On a hard question] Volunteer? *silence* This is the question which separates them men from the boys.

You look nervous. You're on the right track. Take your time. Looks good so far.

I asked everyone: 'Are girls weird?' Yes. [Me: Did you ask girls?] Yes. They all said yes.

Science people are very inconsiderate... Arts people - they ask you which floor you want... Science people - they just press their floor... I got hit by the [lift] door the other day.

[Me: If you didn't have fingers, would you wear gloves?] Yes. To cover up what I don't have.

Give me the crust [of your apple cobbler]. [Student 2: You haven't finished {our tiramisu}!] I ate half already. [Me: *finishes Tiramisu] [Student 3: High five! *hi-fives*]

[On the final exam] Not bad. It's my birthday. We can celebrate the end of the semester.

Today the dean wanted to talk to me. By special invitation. How can I say no? He's my boss.

[On fund-raising] They can rename all the rooms... Rename all the trees on the yard.

[Instructor: Have you walked in the footsteps of the urban poor?] We had food there [the slum] but it was brought [in] from outside.

[On entrepreneurship among the poor] They sell flowers, they sell water. For the young girls, they sell their body.

[On the pre-emption law in the US in the 19th century] The former squatters are no longer called 'squatters'. They are now called 'pioneers'.

[On moral hazard] They sell the property, they use the money to drink and have a party, then they go and squat again.

[Me: Someone accused me of committing atrocities. What the hell?!] Did you slay women and children?

[On Jstor search] Stalin's Message to Japan. How is this related to Food in Thailand?

Ooh. Let's come up with more soundbites so he can quote us.

[On jerking my head to hit people] Do it again. I like to watch. But not [when done] to us.

I am very disappointed in some of your colleagues... I make final very very severe. I give everyone A and B. It is not enough. Especially this girl... Insult teachers... This is unaccapetable... Girl. I don't know. 20 years old, behave as children. Strange... You should discipline the girl (coursemates, will make the, hard, Even though I gave, wasn't, but behaves like a child)

[On hypothetical quibbling for marks in an MCQ exam] It will be A-B-A-B. But the same person will come to me: 'I had in mind 'B'. I wrote 'C''.

Iso-experience lie (expenditure line)

If you are reasy to substitute 1 can of Coca Cola for 3 bottles of Pepsi Cola, what is the price difference of Coca Cola and Pepsi Cola? [Me: A lot because 1 can - 3 bottles]

per'zh'earl (Peugeot)

mer'sair'diss (Mercedes)

I'm going to study with *** at 4. [Student 2: Study what? Study ***?]

[To an Indian student] Are you from Chinese High? Apparently not.

[On "Divide: 1 / Wisdom: 52" in 'Don't Come Knocking' not being deliberate] It's always disappointing when you find out this sort of thing.

I like Hoe Garden (Hoegaarden)

[On the OkCupid 100 Point Sexual Purity Test] What is fisting?... I want to do it too! I want to do it too!... The survey... [Student 2: Usually 'it' means sex.]

You make fun of an Indian - the government doesn't have a problem with it. You make fun of a Chinese - the government doesn't have a problem with it. You make fun of an Malay - they think they're going to riot... It's racist.

[On the Kennedy School of Governance] You know what they said? Don't turn on the camera yet... One of the things the alumni were not happy about was the school was not teaching them things about the real world... 'What we need is 1) We need to improve oral communication skills, written communication skills.'