(This post was broken off from the one above)
Newspeak Revisited: The Lexical Management of Political Discourse - "The State gets to decide whether you are a fundamentalist. Or a threat to national security. Or even, as George Yeo has coined, a 'counterfeit artist'. What this means is that Tang Liang Hong can be called a ‘Chinese chauvinist’, but the same accusation cannot be leveled against Lee Kuan Yew. A video made by polytechnic students and staff, on JB Jeyaretnam, is banned because it is a political video. On the other hand, a VHS tape of the National Day Parade does not qualify as one. Sintercom eventually closed down because it was on the verge of being gazetted as a political website. On the other hand, the Straits Times Interactive, probably one of the most political websites on the Internet, is merely a news provider."
Be that as it may, things seem to be getting better. Unless the hundred flowers that bloom are cut down like the poppies that grow too tall.
An atheist on Judgment Day - "If it is a choice between oblivion and an eternity with a monster like you, I gladly choose oblivion"
A most touching and moving story. I wonder what I would do in a hypothetical scenario such as this. Incidentally, a good story to forward people who keep sending you Christian spam
Additional Keywords: "an atheist in heaven", god, "in the eye", "the line"
Addendum: Mirrored since the original site has gown down
Existential depression in gifted individuals - "Why should such existential concerns occur disproportionately among gifted persons? Partially, it is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life. Other more specific characteristics of gifted children are important predisposers as well."
So now we know why intelligent people tend to be more dysfunctional.
Are you a good speller? - "You scored 18 out of a possible 23. Go to the top of the class. Either you're a natural orthographer, or you paid a lot of attention in school. Either way, you could make a fortune on the spelling bee circuit."
I swear I'd have gotten 1-2 more correct if not for the late hour *g*
Family's boycott extends to everything - "Three years ago, the Molina family sat at their kitchen table and decided to take a moral stand: They would no longer patronize any company which had connection to abortions, homosexual rights, pornography or any other objectionable cause. This month, the Molinas' decision finally reached its zenith, as their boycott now covers every product on the U.S. market... For entertainment they watch old Lassie movies on a VCR made by an obscure Korean company - the only electronics maker they could find that has no tie to immoral causes. When a reporter points out that Lassie is owned by Warner Studios, a supporter of dozens of liberal causes, Joe sighs, pulls the video from the machine and breaks it in two. The children run to their rooms and cry face-down on their Amish blankets."
"No compromises" - sounds like nw.t's professed life philosophy. Ahem.
TalkingCock comics: Bye, Sergeant Chee, Bye! and Apa Ini The MATrix?
I only vaguely get the latter. Too many Mat jokes: "Our world is ruled by Munjens! Sally Ye instead of Scorpions! Aaron Kwok instead of AC/DC!". Wth are Munjens?!
20 nabbed in prostitution sting -- 15 men dressed as women - "A prostitution sting in the midst of a near-blinding rainstorm early Saturday netted 20 arrests on the North Side -- including 15 men dressed as women, Chicago Police said."
Dialtones (A Telesymphony) - Mobile Phone Concert
German radio starts Klingon service - "The German international broadcaster Deutsche Welle (DW) is celebrating 10 years of its online service by adding a new language to the 30 it already publishes - Klingon."
SnackFoam's Gay Test - "You... could be gay! Want to find out? Click here to take the SnackFoam Gay Test!"
Egg Song - What thoroughly sick and warped mind came up with such a twisted song, set to the vilest animation possible, I cannot imagine. I suspect it is a devious plot by the Malaysians to make Singaporeans lust for the Eggs we're currently being deprived of.
How To Cook With Lava - "This is a good point to sit back, have a drink and watch the beautiful Lava as it flows in front of you."
Tootsie Roll Industries - The Licking Machine, And Other Scientific Curiousities - "A group of engineering students from Purdue University recorded that their licking machine, modeled after a human tongue, took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. They tried the same licking test on 20 volunteers and found that the average licks to the center were 252 licks."
The Mermaid Hunter - "This web site is dedicated to the World of Sea Sirens and Mermaids. Oh, they exist alright....this website will prove it. Within this site I will share 40 years of personal encounters with these creatures. To date, I have had over 150 such encounters"
His posed fakes aren't very well done. On the upside, he has pictures of nude "Sirens", "beautiful women who have been cursed by Herra (sic), wife of Zeus, to spend their lives on rocky islands around the world".
Tilted Mill team member game credits - "Before joining Tilted Mill, members of our team helped create some of the most important, successful and well-respected games out there, including: Mickey Saves the Day, Monster's Wreck Room Arcade, Barbie's Pet Rescue, Pitfall Harry"
Err...
Godot Aria Mubie M4150 (128MB) - MP3 player in the shape of a bear.
L'origine de Bert
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
Quote of the Post: "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." - Dave Barry
Random Playlist Song: Mozart - Serenade in D, K.250 'Haffner' - VII. Menuetto Trio I, Trio II (Mackerras)
***
Interestingly, one unintended consequence of the ever increasing cigarette prices in Singapore may be that illegal drugs are looking relatively less unattractive to the man on the street.
Also of interest: Drugs and inspiration - perhaps we will legalise drugs soon, since they help stimulate creativity!
Islamic banking strikes me as being sanctimonious.
Unlike present day economists, 7th century Muslim thinkers did not seem to fully understand the concept of opportunity cost, so prohibitions on charging interest and usury are present in the Koran. Of course, they are also present in the scriptures of People of the Book, but people of the other 2 religions have since managed to rationalise the charging of interest.
However, Islam has gone in the other direction and discovered other methods of carrying out transactions that are functionally equivalent to charging interest. For example, if a client wants to buy a house, instead of his taking our a loan, the bank buys the house and then either resells it to him at a higher rate (usually immediately), rents it to him for a time, at the end of which he becomes its owner or enters into joint ownership of the house with him, and gradually sell its stake to him. If someone wants to borrow money from the bank, instead of his being levied interest, he would be levied a service charge.
I am sure the prophet must be rolling in his grave at this violation of the spirit, even if not the letter, of Islamic principles.
Hoop earrings are amusing enough, but I recently saw the next step in their evolution: earrings employing the same principle as matryoshkas (Russian nesting dolls), with each hoop encompassing a smaller one in its turn. Intrigued, I carried out a survey to find out hoop earrings' appeal:
"goes with anything, and looks nice and just that little bit outstanding, unlike studs"
"easy for pple to hook them"
"i hate them myself. I think it makes people look like pirates. I'm prejudiced, aren't I?"
"to make one look like a cow."
"draws attention away from their inadequate facial features?"
"creates a space for one to hang their laundry(via a hanger)"
"its big and makes ur face look small?"
it's a trend
An even more cringe-inducing example of the sort of pidgin, bastardised patois of Chinese and English which people here speak, and take undue pride in for speaking "Mandarin": "Na4 ge4 lao3 shi1 expect us to know it like the back of our hand" (Translation: That teacher ~). And I thought "Jin1 tian1 de4 weather hen3 huai4" (Translation: Today's weather is very bad) was bad.
My neighbourhood has been invaded by the Evil Association of Chinese Moral Societies; outside a building near my house I saw a sign proclaiming that shophouse to be the home of : "Moral link (Telok Blangah Crescent)"
"One Russian is an anarchist, two Russians are chess players, three Russians are a revolution, and four Russians are the Borodin String Quartet" - some BBC commentator. Unfortunately I couldn't find the exact quote anywhere, but this version comes pretty close, I think.
"U always seem so jolly and bouncy... there's some sorta 'lilting' motion when U're walking. like U hafta lift ur tummy" - Wth.
***
State of the Union Address by George W Bush
This one is better than the speech by his father that I host, not least because it's a video instead of a wav, and more well joined to boot.
Partial Transcript:
"Every year, by law and by custom we meet here to threaten the world *standing ovation*
The American flag stands for corporate scandals, recession, stock market declines, blackmail, terror, burning with hot irons, dripping acid on the skin, mutilation with electric drills, cutting out tongues, and rape. *standing ovation*
Our first goal is to show utter contempt for the environment. I have sent you a compre- *applause* I have sent you a comprehensive energy plan to devastate communities, kill wildlife and burn away millions of acres of treasured forest. *applause* This government is taking unprecedented measures to protect our people and defend our homeland... We must offer every child in America 3 Nuclear Missiles. *standing applause*
To date, we have arrested or otherwise dealt with four hundred billion key commanders of Al-Qaeda, which is enlisting tens of thousands of new volunteers across America... One by one the terrorists are learning we are building a culture to encourage International Terrorism... *applause* And tonight I have a message for the people of Iraq. Go home and die.
[Full Transcript]
***
More ramblings from a SOC friend:
just to tell you i had a "supernatural" phenomenon when i was in the army, where i was lying on my bunk. i am sure i was awake at that time, and then i suddenly felt an unknown force pressing down on the left side of my face, that threatened to dislocate all the teeth on that side from the jaw, and that sensation carried on for around 2 minutes or so. i really thought ghosts did exist...and told my friend that a ghost sat on my face.
now i know better. it's something called "sleep paralysis" http://www.randi.org. sigh. how foolish i make myself sound sometimes.
dang. that experience really made me believe in ghosts, coupled with all the army ghost stories my army officer told me when i was in bmt.
i don't know how the army could have turned my mind into believing into anything.
the people there also explain how the ouija board works. i think we can conduct an experiment with one during our next atheists' meetup
i heard from my sis (fass grad 2 yrs ago) there was barely a whiff of them xtian fundamentalists in FASS...i know from personal experience that god's followers hover around the faculties of science and computing like houseflies.
i wondered with my sis why that was the case...when the more overtly religious are in science and computing and not in FASS...her opinion is that "for every lewis carroll there's a frederick nieztsche" and that there are more vocal atheists in FASS. do you confirm/deny this?
i just came up with another theory. over here, science/computing students are conditioned to be rote learners, while arts students are more independent thinkers. in science/tutorials here in SOC the tutor mumbles the answers, a few bright students ask a few questions while the rest try to stay awake and ask if the answers will be put up in IVLE (IMPORTANT TO US YOU KNOW! :) )...whereas in arts (i've cleared my g.e.m.) people actually form small groups to discuss.
Me: haha so arts encourages independent thought while science makes people spoonfed?
yes. that's why i conjecture that FASS will not yet be a hotbed for fundamentalism (yet!) and these fundies will have a hell of a fight ("crusade?" :) ) to convert independent-minded people.
can you imagine a philo tutorial in FASS on the topic "Is There a God?"...i can picture arguments from both sides in the tutorial room. in SOC i'll bet people think there's a standard answer somewhere to be uploaded into IVLE...or some bible-reader will whip out his holy book at the very question. i've never seen muslims read /carry their koran with them, though i don't agree with their religion, at least they're respectful.
the problem in FASS is nowhere near that of FAS and SOC, and, I believe, engineering.
i recommend you start your organisation in arts. and i'll welcome you with open arms should you (er, metaphorically speaking) spread your wings here to SOC!
[Corroboration from a FAS friend: in sci, there is a standard answer. you dun really get to see things from ur own perspective. arts u can bullshit ur way as long as u're convincing
its hard to question what is being thought coz u lack resources to prove otherwise
and more importantly, knowledge.]
Some might remember that some time ago I was talking about my intention to go for a talk purporting to show "scientifically why god exists and why jesus loves you". This was a golden opportunity - not only were they going to try to prove the existence (and love, no less) of a god, they were going to do it scientifically! So despite having lessons both before and after the talk, I rushed down to Science.
Sad to say, the speaker made next to no attempt at using the Scientific Method or Scientific Principles. Instead, she only rambled vaguely about such meta-physical questions as the remote probabilities of evolution, the world being as it is and so forth, and then proceeded to construct an agreement based on wishful thinking, like so: "My life would be very miserable and devoid of a moral benchmark without a loving god. Therefore there must be a loving god." She ended off by gushing about her god, offering the fallacious "Lord, Lunatic or Liar" trichotomy and revelling in his qualities according to Christian mythology. To her credit though, she did urge everyone in the audience to read and do research.
As expected, there was a Q&A session and I naturally said a few words. Interestingly, though, there were at least 2 other skeptics in the audience. One complained that the bible was subjective and not objective, and that we'd been promised a "scientific" talk, while another from the back of the LT quoted a verse about genocide from Numbers on his laptop, and asked if it was the true message of the christian god (the speaker mumbled something about 'context', of course).
So maybe a freethought club would be feasible, after all.
***
Our readings are unravelling our moral fibre and undermining the rock-solid foundations of our shared values! But then no one reads readings anyway.
Some quotes from Ch. 14, "The Role of the Intellectuals in Civil Society: Going Against the Grain" in State-Society Relations in Singapore, 2000:
"In Singapore today, the views of the independent intellectual receives no favour and if his views are critical of government power, his function is not recognized as legitimate. Such an intellectual is vilified on the grounds that his claim to the right of criticism is an alien tradition borne of Western liberal thought; that new states need more power not less, more stability not instability. Not even the minor degree of instability that is inevitable when political bargaining is permitted." (Chan 1976: 12-13)
"What then are the possible roles that the intellectual can play, in the context of a 'depoliticised' civil society?... They could become intellectual-politicians through political contest if they were prepared to ally themselves with the ruling leaders and prove their capabilities; or they could become mandarins of the established order in the civil service. These two groups of intellectuals may have difficulty maintaining that intellectual spirit of enquiry within those portals of power because their functions would be to help establish and achieve objectives and priorities set by the political party designed to perpetuate its power."
"What was at stake in the Michael Fay controversy?... the incident ought to have generated a debate on crime and punishment commensurate with the norms of a modern, civilized society and it should have been posed on behalf of fellow Singaporeans proscribed by the same laws... No public debate ensued as to whether caning could reform behaviour and deter negative repeat behaviour on that occasion... As a university law lecturer then, Tommy Koh had argued that the rehabilitation of criminals might be more fruitful and thus should be the priority rather than severe punishment such as caning. In the event, he was dismissed by Goh Keng Swee (then Deputy Prime Minister) along with those (such as myself) who supported Tommy Koh, as
'those soft-headed Western-educated liberals' at the then University of Singapore... Upon the introduction of mandatory caning for illegal immigrants, apart from questioning the brutality of such punishment for an essentially non-violent crime, MPs noted that the issue also involved the nation's longer-term interests - how we are perceived as a society by our neighbours... but a leading member of the party supporting the proposal rhetorically asked, 'What's a few strokes of the cane?' and the legislation was passed."
"It remains unclear as to why a citizen 'must enter politics' in order 'to criticize the government' (Goh 1994) and submit to 'the dust and heat of the political arena' (Enright, 1969:138). A basic constitutional principle is at issue here. This is the individual citizen's right in a democratic, free and open society, short of intentionally libelous and slanderous comment in violation of the law or constitution, to comment on or criticize and call to account his elected government's performance and actions or, the right of lawfully-constituted groups of citizens in civil society to do the same without necessarily being members of a political party" (But the law and constitution could easily be changed or interpreted to disallow such)
"But politicking, dissent, contest and criticism are seen as somehow violations of the national 'Asian' value of harmony - seeking consensus rather than contention (on the assumption that the two are necessarily opposed in basic objectives). In taking on the role of the public intellectual in the circumstances, one could either elicit contempt for being 'theoretical' and out of touch with 'the realities', or attract suspicion for asserting non-conformist 'independent' views and being a source of 'bad' subversive ideas... As Chan has noted in her essay, 'speaking up and criticizing ruling power', is not 'only a Western tradition' (1975). One might add, corruption comes in more subtle forms than filthy lucre or simple nepotism. At its most subtle. it could even take the guise of virtue where a strong conviction of being right may in fact mask an arrogant, narrow complacency. So truth-seers and truth-tellers should always be around. Amartya Sen... [observed], 'Confucius did not recommend blind allegiance to the state... When Zilu asks him how to serve a prince, Confucius replied: 'Tell him the truth, even if it offends him.''"
"Traditional Asian societies lack the Western intellectual tradition of criticism as honest opinion. Constructive criticism is considered an oxymoron since criticism is seen as destructive disparagement, a form of disrespect that impugns the subject's honour. Like the virtue of tolerance, harmony has its potentially dark side."
Chapter 15: Civil Society and the Law in Singapore, is also very interesting, and mostly talks about the Constitution, the Law, and explores how 'Security', 'Public Order', 'Morality', 'Contempt of court and defamation' and 'General licensing' are used to greatly qualify freedom of speech, association and assembly here.
***
On Saturday I took part in the International Coastal Cleanup Day 2004. The USP Academic Symposium was on the same day too, but I'd signed up for the cleanup earlier, before the Symposium's date had been confirmed. Besides which, I didn't feel like pulling off another S-Cube just yet, and I'd been told of the governmental question-avoidance maneuver: paraphrase the pesky guy's question and then give an evasive or irrelevant answer while avoiding the question.
While some people got to go to Kallang and East Coast beach, the NUS contingent got to visit Sungei Buloh Nature Reserve and its mangrove swamp, and pick up all the rubbish that the Malaysians dump into the Straits of Johor and which float onto our shores; most of the food wrappers were of the sort only found in Malaysia (Malay brands, or all-Malay packaging), and we even dredged up a banner advertising Phase 1, 2 and 3 sales of a condominum project in Johor. Possibly the best catch of all was dredged up by another group - a Malaysian flag *cough*
Besides gathering rubbish, we gathered data on the rubbish. I was surprised to see, on the data sheet, "shotgun shells/wadding" (some people actually found washed up shotgun shells!), "tampons/tampon applicator" (who changes tamps beside the sea? Maybe the women living in kampongs. And what about sanitary pads, then?) and "55 gallon barrels" (what about 50 gallon barrels? Can I put them under that category?).
For some reason, I didn't get any emails with details about the event, so I was a little... unprepared. At least 3 guys brought their army boots, and 2 even brought their No 4 pants. Unfortunately, with the donning of the cursed slacks came the cursed mentality, or at least the Dark Tongue: we were told to "move out", "count strength" and "mount up" the bus. Grr.
Oh, and I also saw Ms Lian, my Sec 4 geography teacher who is teaching in VJC now. She asked if I was doing Geography and I quickly recoiled in semi-mock-terror. Heh.
I saw a poster advertising for a seminar: "TIME - The Islamic Management Experience. Learn how to manage your life the Islamic Way. How to cope with stress and problems. Learn new management skills". I wonder how many more things can be Islamised. What else is left? Islamic furniture placement? Islamic coffee brewing? Or even Islamic flower arrangement?
My wireless connection in school is often spotty, usually in Chatterbox. While other laptops can connect to the Wi-Fi basestation, I can't even detect the network or see its SSID. And apparently this also affects some other people with my model. Time to visit the service centre...
There was this funky lecturer who sat cross legged on the table (the big, long one in front) before the lecture started.
Quite a few people have been telling me that they've seen me around in school, but somehow don't come and say hello. Proof, I suppose, for my theory that everyone runs away from me!
In NTU, you can pay a sum to sign up to swim 10 laps in a pool - and get 2 ECA points. You can also do a mock IPPT to get ECA points. Bah.
It's amazing how many people use the SAF toiletries bag as a pencilbox.
Someone thought that the polar bears on my shirt were rats. (...)
Quotes:
One of my friends, he tried a breaching experiment. Not in the supermarket, but in the NUS canteen. He sat next to this girl... To make it worse, he asked: 'Can I try your food?'
My research, for example, when I did drugs. Sorry, when I researched drugs.
Because it was a dance drug, designer drug. I had to go out, party, stay up late. [Someone: Tough job]
How many people don't go to McDonalds?... [To a girl] You don't go to McDonalds. [Girl: It's fattening.]
the sustainance of our daily existence (sustenance)
[On a study of drug users] Try not to tell people in CNB about this, ok? Especially if you're a government spy.
[On her forthcoming first webcast lecture] I'm a little bit cameras-shy, I don't know how I will perform.
You can see me today and tomorrow. If you really like to see me you can see me on the webcast.
I'm thinking of setting up a... MSN chat. I can chat to you from Canada... I can chat with you if you have problems with your revision... I love technology... I want to make myself younger.
The slogan for Burger King is: 'It tay'ses better' (just tastes)
[On output decisions in perfect competition] You're going to enjoy this very much because this is what you see in real life.
The US Supreme Court is always taking Microsoft to court... they want to break down Microsoft. (Justice Department, up)
[On word limits] We can't just let everyone start an arms race, and people writing longer papers. That would be bad. (let people start)
I talk so much that I usually give stuff away, so it's wise to play to my weaknesses.
[On his 3-year-old daughter] The infantile habit of asking 'why'. Lots of philosophers have.
Actually I've to pause and tell a joke at this point, about my little daughter.
Here's a quote from another Plato dialogue called 'The Phaedrus'. You're learning that it's probably a dialogue in which Socrates talks to a guy named Phaedrus, and in fact that's what happens.
[Powerpoint Slide] I have a friend who left weapons in my car (care)
[On the composition of the atmosphere of the moons of Saturn, and Astronomy versus Anthropology] You're not tempted to make up an answer: 'Well, it's mostly cheese'.
People were looking less confused 5 minutes ago, and then I kept talking and now... Maybe I talked too long.
[On the mystery of Arago's Disc] I won't ask you immediately because I have a feeling that you might know, so let's keep the puzzle going.
[On speaking up in class] The main thing is that not every question is a trick question.
Cults are like family... Whatever you may say about cults, they are like families.
[On Charisma being the basis of power] If it were the only thing, then how come George Bush is President? In his case, it probably isn't knowledge either.
Don't you just love the smell of burning Sumatra rainforest? *sniffs* Ahh!
Sir, Sir - the one who is closing your eyes... Wake up now (his)
When I first came to NUS [I was amazed by how many regulations there were and] how often these regulations changed. I swore the University employed one person whose job it was to come up with a new rule everyday. It was his job to come up with a new rule everyday, or he wouldn't get his Christmas bonus.
Give one example of state terror. [Student: The Internal Security Act] It terrorises you.
Are there any questions up to now? I would be surprised if there were any, because I've been so clear.
You don't have to watch Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 to know that... What's not in the public record is what George Bush did when he was in the Air National Guard.
You're under arrest. Seriously, you're under arrest... Today it's illegal to be, wearing black pants. *realises he's wearing black pants*
[On a reporter's opinion on why no one in Singapore protested the Iraq War] She was going to write that Singaporeans only care about things like shopping and bartop dancing.
Everyone should come to this class wearing white shirts. Then I can't pick on you.
If any lecturer comes up to you in the classroom and tells you: 'I am the repository of all wisdom and knowledge', you should tell him to retire.
The bourgeoisie are an instrument of the state. I need to practise my French here. The bourgeoisie.
The last time I met someone who claimed to be a [fascist] was a man I met in a bar in Rome... I was 2 at the time. I'm so young.
What are you laughing about? *laughs weirdly* It's okay, you can laugh.
[On plagiarism and morality] Forget about morality... Even if you're an evil person. You'll get an F.
[On paraphrasing material from the lecture] It's no surprise to your tutor if your paper bears evidence that you've been to lecture. You don't need to footnote it.
I got a whole slew of emails late last night and early this morning. It seems that some people were up at 3 writing emails to me.
[On being closed for consultation till 4pm] Students always do their work at the last minute. Professors always do their work at the last minute.
[On a theory about lying] It's not completely wrong. John Mearsheimer is too smart to believe in something completely wrong. I've met him and I know that to be a fact.
McDonalds, being the bore'geese... the staff, being the pro'latrate (bourgeoisie, proletariat)
[On McDonalds] Isn't there a minimum wage in Singapore? [Me: There's no minimum wage in Singapore] [Tutor: There is no minimum wage in Singapore] It's exploitation!
We haven't established a repertoire with them (rapport)
[On interviewing Upper Secondary Malay Breakdancers] Because we were quite 'old', they were quite shy. They would talk to each other and giggle. It was quite girly, in a sense.
[On an observation of clubbers' skimpy dressing] One of the girls was just wearing a string across her back (what about her front?)
Intimacy: In such a close, confined environment as a club, you have more feasible contact than you ever bargained for... You're sending a message to the guys: 'just touch me' (physical)
[On skimpily dressed girls] All heads will be turning down to look at them (turning)
In case other groups try to find their troubles (make trouble)
[On clubbing] They say they are going there to chill out, to relax, but they go there to do intensive activities. (engage in)
They say they go there to relax, but then they drink. And drinking too much is not good for your health.
There are people who tarch, and there are people who want to be tarched. (touch, touched)
[On study of clubbing] Did you actually see girls saying: 'Touch me, touch me' (hear)
[On girls' skimpy dresses] Maybe it's hot in the club
[On me] Do you notice something in his hair? [Someone: What's that in your hair?!] [Me: It's so that I can go and stab people. *stabs first person*]
[On Wo-hen Nankan] He looks kind of pretty here. Without a moustache, he'd look like a girl.
[On a guy sitting on the floor in a weird position near the lecturer's bench] He seems to be practising Yoga.
[On Science girls] They're Chinese speaking, but they're not Ah Lians... At least Ah Lians look better.
[Me on something on her wrist: What is that?] It's to tie my hair. [Me: You have no hair to tie. I have more hair than you] Oh, you clip your hair. I have more clips - do you want flower ones? [Me: If they're not garish] I'll get one for you. Will you wear it? [Me: Maybe once or twice.]
[On some Sri Lankan leader with a hard-to-pronounce name, like all the others] Can we call him Charles?
boas / boo'ers (buoys)
Random Playlist Song: Mozart - Serenade in D, K.250 'Haffner' - VII. Menuetto Trio I, Trio II (Mackerras)
***
Interestingly, one unintended consequence of the ever increasing cigarette prices in Singapore may be that illegal drugs are looking relatively less unattractive to the man on the street.
Also of interest: Drugs and inspiration - perhaps we will legalise drugs soon, since they help stimulate creativity!
Islamic banking strikes me as being sanctimonious.
Unlike present day economists, 7th century Muslim thinkers did not seem to fully understand the concept of opportunity cost, so prohibitions on charging interest and usury are present in the Koran. Of course, they are also present in the scriptures of People of the Book, but people of the other 2 religions have since managed to rationalise the charging of interest.
However, Islam has gone in the other direction and discovered other methods of carrying out transactions that are functionally equivalent to charging interest. For example, if a client wants to buy a house, instead of his taking our a loan, the bank buys the house and then either resells it to him at a higher rate (usually immediately), rents it to him for a time, at the end of which he becomes its owner or enters into joint ownership of the house with him, and gradually sell its stake to him. If someone wants to borrow money from the bank, instead of his being levied interest, he would be levied a service charge.
I am sure the prophet must be rolling in his grave at this violation of the spirit, even if not the letter, of Islamic principles.
Hoop earrings are amusing enough, but I recently saw the next step in their evolution: earrings employing the same principle as matryoshkas (Russian nesting dolls), with each hoop encompassing a smaller one in its turn. Intrigued, I carried out a survey to find out hoop earrings' appeal:
"goes with anything, and looks nice and just that little bit outstanding, unlike studs"
"easy for pple to hook them"
"i hate them myself. I think it makes people look like pirates. I'm prejudiced, aren't I?"
"to make one look like a cow."
"draws attention away from their inadequate facial features?"
"creates a space for one to hang their laundry(via a hanger)"
"its big and makes ur face look small?"
it's a trend
An even more cringe-inducing example of the sort of pidgin, bastardised patois of Chinese and English which people here speak, and take undue pride in for speaking "Mandarin": "Na4 ge4 lao3 shi1 expect us to know it like the back of our hand" (Translation: That teacher ~). And I thought "Jin1 tian1 de4 weather hen3 huai4" (Translation: Today's weather is very bad) was bad.
My neighbourhood has been invaded by the Evil Association of Chinese Moral Societies; outside a building near my house I saw a sign proclaiming that shophouse to be the home of : "Moral link (Telok Blangah Crescent)"
"One Russian is an anarchist, two Russians are chess players, three Russians are a revolution, and four Russians are the Borodin String Quartet" - some BBC commentator. Unfortunately I couldn't find the exact quote anywhere, but this version comes pretty close, I think.
"U always seem so jolly and bouncy... there's some sorta 'lilting' motion when U're walking. like U hafta lift ur tummy" - Wth.
***
State of the Union Address by George W Bush
This one is better than the speech by his father that I host, not least because it's a video instead of a wav, and more well joined to boot.
Partial Transcript:
"Every year, by law and by custom we meet here to threaten the world *standing ovation*
The American flag stands for corporate scandals, recession, stock market declines, blackmail, terror, burning with hot irons, dripping acid on the skin, mutilation with electric drills, cutting out tongues, and rape. *standing ovation*
Our first goal is to show utter contempt for the environment. I have sent you a compre- *applause* I have sent you a comprehensive energy plan to devastate communities, kill wildlife and burn away millions of acres of treasured forest. *applause* This government is taking unprecedented measures to protect our people and defend our homeland... We must offer every child in America 3 Nuclear Missiles. *standing applause*
To date, we have arrested or otherwise dealt with four hundred billion key commanders of Al-Qaeda, which is enlisting tens of thousands of new volunteers across America... One by one the terrorists are learning we are building a culture to encourage International Terrorism... *applause* And tonight I have a message for the people of Iraq. Go home and die.
[Full Transcript]
***
More ramblings from a SOC friend:
just to tell you i had a "supernatural" phenomenon when i was in the army, where i was lying on my bunk. i am sure i was awake at that time, and then i suddenly felt an unknown force pressing down on the left side of my face, that threatened to dislocate all the teeth on that side from the jaw, and that sensation carried on for around 2 minutes or so. i really thought ghosts did exist...and told my friend that a ghost sat on my face.
now i know better. it's something called "sleep paralysis" http://www.randi.org. sigh. how foolish i make myself sound sometimes.
dang. that experience really made me believe in ghosts, coupled with all the army ghost stories my army officer told me when i was in bmt.
i don't know how the army could have turned my mind into believing into anything.
the people there also explain how the ouija board works. i think we can conduct an experiment with one during our next atheists' meetup
i heard from my sis (fass grad 2 yrs ago) there was barely a whiff of them xtian fundamentalists in FASS...i know from personal experience that god's followers hover around the faculties of science and computing like houseflies.
i wondered with my sis why that was the case...when the more overtly religious are in science and computing and not in FASS...her opinion is that "for every lewis carroll there's a frederick nieztsche" and that there are more vocal atheists in FASS. do you confirm/deny this?
i just came up with another theory. over here, science/computing students are conditioned to be rote learners, while arts students are more independent thinkers. in science/tutorials here in SOC the tutor mumbles the answers, a few bright students ask a few questions while the rest try to stay awake and ask if the answers will be put up in IVLE (IMPORTANT TO US YOU KNOW! :) )...whereas in arts (i've cleared my g.e.m.) people actually form small groups to discuss.
Me: haha so arts encourages independent thought while science makes people spoonfed?
yes. that's why i conjecture that FASS will not yet be a hotbed for fundamentalism (yet!) and these fundies will have a hell of a fight ("crusade?" :) ) to convert independent-minded people.
can you imagine a philo tutorial in FASS on the topic "Is There a God?"...i can picture arguments from both sides in the tutorial room. in SOC i'll bet people think there's a standard answer somewhere to be uploaded into IVLE...or some bible-reader will whip out his holy book at the very question. i've never seen muslims read /carry their koran with them, though i don't agree with their religion, at least they're respectful.
the problem in FASS is nowhere near that of FAS and SOC, and, I believe, engineering.
i recommend you start your organisation in arts. and i'll welcome you with open arms should you (er, metaphorically speaking) spread your wings here to SOC!
[Corroboration from a FAS friend: in sci, there is a standard answer. you dun really get to see things from ur own perspective. arts u can bullshit ur way as long as u're convincing
its hard to question what is being thought coz u lack resources to prove otherwise
and more importantly, knowledge.]
Some might remember that some time ago I was talking about my intention to go for a talk purporting to show "scientifically why god exists and why jesus loves you". This was a golden opportunity - not only were they going to try to prove the existence (and love, no less) of a god, they were going to do it scientifically! So despite having lessons both before and after the talk, I rushed down to Science.
Sad to say, the speaker made next to no attempt at using the Scientific Method or Scientific Principles. Instead, she only rambled vaguely about such meta-physical questions as the remote probabilities of evolution, the world being as it is and so forth, and then proceeded to construct an agreement based on wishful thinking, like so: "My life would be very miserable and devoid of a moral benchmark without a loving god. Therefore there must be a loving god." She ended off by gushing about her god, offering the fallacious "Lord, Lunatic or Liar" trichotomy and revelling in his qualities according to Christian mythology. To her credit though, she did urge everyone in the audience to read and do research.
As expected, there was a Q&A session and I naturally said a few words. Interestingly, though, there were at least 2 other skeptics in the audience. One complained that the bible was subjective and not objective, and that we'd been promised a "scientific" talk, while another from the back of the LT quoted a verse about genocide from Numbers on his laptop, and asked if it was the true message of the christian god (the speaker mumbled something about 'context', of course).
So maybe a freethought club would be feasible, after all.
***
Our readings are unravelling our moral fibre and undermining the rock-solid foundations of our shared values! But then no one reads readings anyway.
Some quotes from Ch. 14, "The Role of the Intellectuals in Civil Society: Going Against the Grain" in State-Society Relations in Singapore, 2000:
"In Singapore today, the views of the independent intellectual receives no favour and if his views are critical of government power, his function is not recognized as legitimate. Such an intellectual is vilified on the grounds that his claim to the right of criticism is an alien tradition borne of Western liberal thought; that new states need more power not less, more stability not instability. Not even the minor degree of instability that is inevitable when political bargaining is permitted." (Chan 1976: 12-13)
"What then are the possible roles that the intellectual can play, in the context of a 'depoliticised' civil society?... They could become intellectual-politicians through political contest if they were prepared to ally themselves with the ruling leaders and prove their capabilities; or they could become mandarins of the established order in the civil service. These two groups of intellectuals may have difficulty maintaining that intellectual spirit of enquiry within those portals of power because their functions would be to help establish and achieve objectives and priorities set by the political party designed to perpetuate its power."
"What was at stake in the Michael Fay controversy?... the incident ought to have generated a debate on crime and punishment commensurate with the norms of a modern, civilized society and it should have been posed on behalf of fellow Singaporeans proscribed by the same laws... No public debate ensued as to whether caning could reform behaviour and deter negative repeat behaviour on that occasion... As a university law lecturer then, Tommy Koh had argued that the rehabilitation of criminals might be more fruitful and thus should be the priority rather than severe punishment such as caning. In the event, he was dismissed by Goh Keng Swee (then Deputy Prime Minister) along with those (such as myself) who supported Tommy Koh, as
'those soft-headed Western-educated liberals' at the then University of Singapore... Upon the introduction of mandatory caning for illegal immigrants, apart from questioning the brutality of such punishment for an essentially non-violent crime, MPs noted that the issue also involved the nation's longer-term interests - how we are perceived as a society by our neighbours... but a leading member of the party supporting the proposal rhetorically asked, 'What's a few strokes of the cane?' and the legislation was passed."
"It remains unclear as to why a citizen 'must enter politics' in order 'to criticize the government' (Goh 1994) and submit to 'the dust and heat of the political arena' (Enright, 1969:138). A basic constitutional principle is at issue here. This is the individual citizen's right in a democratic, free and open society, short of intentionally libelous and slanderous comment in violation of the law or constitution, to comment on or criticize and call to account his elected government's performance and actions or, the right of lawfully-constituted groups of citizens in civil society to do the same without necessarily being members of a political party" (But the law and constitution could easily be changed or interpreted to disallow such)
"But politicking, dissent, contest and criticism are seen as somehow violations of the national 'Asian' value of harmony - seeking consensus rather than contention (on the assumption that the two are necessarily opposed in basic objectives). In taking on the role of the public intellectual in the circumstances, one could either elicit contempt for being 'theoretical' and out of touch with 'the realities', or attract suspicion for asserting non-conformist 'independent' views and being a source of 'bad' subversive ideas... As Chan has noted in her essay, 'speaking up and criticizing ruling power', is not 'only a Western tradition' (1975). One might add, corruption comes in more subtle forms than filthy lucre or simple nepotism. At its most subtle. it could even take the guise of virtue where a strong conviction of being right may in fact mask an arrogant, narrow complacency. So truth-seers and truth-tellers should always be around. Amartya Sen... [observed], 'Confucius did not recommend blind allegiance to the state... When Zilu asks him how to serve a prince, Confucius replied: 'Tell him the truth, even if it offends him.''"
"Traditional Asian societies lack the Western intellectual tradition of criticism as honest opinion. Constructive criticism is considered an oxymoron since criticism is seen as destructive disparagement, a form of disrespect that impugns the subject's honour. Like the virtue of tolerance, harmony has its potentially dark side."
Chapter 15: Civil Society and the Law in Singapore, is also very interesting, and mostly talks about the Constitution, the Law, and explores how 'Security', 'Public Order', 'Morality', 'Contempt of court and defamation' and 'General licensing' are used to greatly qualify freedom of speech, association and assembly here.
***
On Saturday I took part in the International Coastal Cleanup Day 2004. The USP Academic Symposium was on the same day too, but I'd signed up for the cleanup earlier, before the Symposium's date had been confirmed. Besides which, I didn't feel like pulling off another S-Cube just yet, and I'd been told of the governmental question-avoidance maneuver: paraphrase the pesky guy's question and then give an evasive or irrelevant answer while avoiding the question.
While some people got to go to Kallang and East Coast beach, the NUS contingent got to visit Sungei Buloh Nature Reserve and its mangrove swamp, and pick up all the rubbish that the Malaysians dump into the Straits of Johor and which float onto our shores; most of the food wrappers were of the sort only found in Malaysia (Malay brands, or all-Malay packaging), and we even dredged up a banner advertising Phase 1, 2 and 3 sales of a condominum project in Johor. Possibly the best catch of all was dredged up by another group - a Malaysian flag *cough*
Besides gathering rubbish, we gathered data on the rubbish. I was surprised to see, on the data sheet, "shotgun shells/wadding" (some people actually found washed up shotgun shells!), "tampons/tampon applicator" (who changes tamps beside the sea? Maybe the women living in kampongs. And what about sanitary pads, then?) and "55 gallon barrels" (what about 50 gallon barrels? Can I put them under that category?).
For some reason, I didn't get any emails with details about the event, so I was a little... unprepared. At least 3 guys brought their army boots, and 2 even brought their No 4 pants. Unfortunately, with the donning of the cursed slacks came the cursed mentality, or at least the Dark Tongue: we were told to "move out", "count strength" and "mount up" the bus. Grr.
Oh, and I also saw Ms Lian, my Sec 4 geography teacher who is teaching in VJC now. She asked if I was doing Geography and I quickly recoiled in semi-mock-terror. Heh.
I saw a poster advertising for a seminar: "TIME - The Islamic Management Experience. Learn how to manage your life the Islamic Way. How to cope with stress and problems. Learn new management skills". I wonder how many more things can be Islamised. What else is left? Islamic furniture placement? Islamic coffee brewing? Or even Islamic flower arrangement?
My wireless connection in school is often spotty, usually in Chatterbox. While other laptops can connect to the Wi-Fi basestation, I can't even detect the network or see its SSID. And apparently this also affects some other people with my model. Time to visit the service centre...
There was this funky lecturer who sat cross legged on the table (the big, long one in front) before the lecture started.
Quite a few people have been telling me that they've seen me around in school, but somehow don't come and say hello. Proof, I suppose, for my theory that everyone runs away from me!
In NTU, you can pay a sum to sign up to swim 10 laps in a pool - and get 2 ECA points. You can also do a mock IPPT to get ECA points. Bah.
It's amazing how many people use the SAF toiletries bag as a pencilbox.
Someone thought that the polar bears on my shirt were rats. (...)
Quotes:
One of my friends, he tried a breaching experiment. Not in the supermarket, but in the NUS canteen. He sat next to this girl... To make it worse, he asked: 'Can I try your food?'
My research, for example, when I did drugs. Sorry, when I researched drugs.
Because it was a dance drug, designer drug. I had to go out, party, stay up late. [Someone: Tough job]
How many people don't go to McDonalds?... [To a girl] You don't go to McDonalds. [Girl: It's fattening.]
the sustainance of our daily existence (sustenance)
[On a study of drug users] Try not to tell people in CNB about this, ok? Especially if you're a government spy.
[On her forthcoming first webcast lecture] I'm a little bit cameras-shy, I don't know how I will perform.
You can see me today and tomorrow. If you really like to see me you can see me on the webcast.
I'm thinking of setting up a... MSN chat. I can chat to you from Canada... I can chat with you if you have problems with your revision... I love technology... I want to make myself younger.
The slogan for Burger King is: 'It tay'ses better' (just tastes)
[On output decisions in perfect competition] You're going to enjoy this very much because this is what you see in real life.
The US Supreme Court is always taking Microsoft to court... they want to break down Microsoft. (Justice Department, up)
[On word limits] We can't just let everyone start an arms race, and people writing longer papers. That would be bad. (let people start)
I talk so much that I usually give stuff away, so it's wise to play to my weaknesses.
[On his 3-year-old daughter] The infantile habit of asking 'why'. Lots of philosophers have.
Actually I've to pause and tell a joke at this point, about my little daughter.
Here's a quote from another Plato dialogue called 'The Phaedrus'. You're learning that it's probably a dialogue in which Socrates talks to a guy named Phaedrus, and in fact that's what happens.
[Powerpoint Slide] I have a friend who left weapons in my car (care)
[On the composition of the atmosphere of the moons of Saturn, and Astronomy versus Anthropology] You're not tempted to make up an answer: 'Well, it's mostly cheese'.
People were looking less confused 5 minutes ago, and then I kept talking and now... Maybe I talked too long.
[On the mystery of Arago's Disc] I won't ask you immediately because I have a feeling that you might know, so let's keep the puzzle going.
[On speaking up in class] The main thing is that not every question is a trick question.
Cults are like family... Whatever you may say about cults, they are like families.
[On Charisma being the basis of power] If it were the only thing, then how come George Bush is President? In his case, it probably isn't knowledge either.
Don't you just love the smell of burning Sumatra rainforest? *sniffs* Ahh!
Sir, Sir - the one who is closing your eyes... Wake up now (his)
When I first came to NUS [I was amazed by how many regulations there were and] how often these regulations changed. I swore the University employed one person whose job it was to come up with a new rule everyday. It was his job to come up with a new rule everyday, or he wouldn't get his Christmas bonus.
Give one example of state terror. [Student: The Internal Security Act] It terrorises you.
Are there any questions up to now? I would be surprised if there were any, because I've been so clear.
You don't have to watch Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 to know that... What's not in the public record is what George Bush did when he was in the Air National Guard.
You're under arrest. Seriously, you're under arrest... Today it's illegal to be, wearing black pants. *realises he's wearing black pants*
[On a reporter's opinion on why no one in Singapore protested the Iraq War] She was going to write that Singaporeans only care about things like shopping and bartop dancing.
Everyone should come to this class wearing white shirts. Then I can't pick on you.
If any lecturer comes up to you in the classroom and tells you: 'I am the repository of all wisdom and knowledge', you should tell him to retire.
The bourgeoisie are an instrument of the state. I need to practise my French here. The bourgeoisie.
The last time I met someone who claimed to be a [fascist] was a man I met in a bar in Rome... I was 2 at the time. I'm so young.
What are you laughing about? *laughs weirdly* It's okay, you can laugh.
[On plagiarism and morality] Forget about morality... Even if you're an evil person. You'll get an F.
[On paraphrasing material from the lecture] It's no surprise to your tutor if your paper bears evidence that you've been to lecture. You don't need to footnote it.
I got a whole slew of emails late last night and early this morning. It seems that some people were up at 3 writing emails to me.
[On being closed for consultation till 4pm] Students always do their work at the last minute. Professors always do their work at the last minute.
[On a theory about lying] It's not completely wrong. John Mearsheimer is too smart to believe in something completely wrong. I've met him and I know that to be a fact.
McDonalds, being the bore'geese... the staff, being the pro'latrate (bourgeoisie, proletariat)
[On McDonalds] Isn't there a minimum wage in Singapore? [Me: There's no minimum wage in Singapore] [Tutor: There is no minimum wage in Singapore] It's exploitation!
We haven't established a repertoire with them (rapport)
[On interviewing Upper Secondary Malay Breakdancers] Because we were quite 'old', they were quite shy. They would talk to each other and giggle. It was quite girly, in a sense.
[On an observation of clubbers' skimpy dressing] One of the girls was just wearing a string across her back (what about her front?)
Intimacy: In such a close, confined environment as a club, you have more feasible contact than you ever bargained for... You're sending a message to the guys: 'just touch me' (physical)
[On skimpily dressed girls] All heads will be turning down to look at them (turning)
In case other groups try to find their troubles (make trouble)
[On clubbing] They say they are going there to chill out, to relax, but they go there to do intensive activities. (engage in)
They say they go there to relax, but then they drink. And drinking too much is not good for your health.
There are people who tarch, and there are people who want to be tarched. (touch, touched)
[On study of clubbing] Did you actually see girls saying: 'Touch me, touch me' (hear)
[On girls' skimpy dresses] Maybe it's hot in the club
[On me] Do you notice something in his hair? [Someone: What's that in your hair?!] [Me: It's so that I can go and stab people. *stabs first person*]
[On Wo-hen Nankan] He looks kind of pretty here. Without a moustache, he'd look like a girl.
[On a guy sitting on the floor in a weird position near the lecturer's bench] He seems to be practising Yoga.
[On Science girls] They're Chinese speaking, but they're not Ah Lians... At least Ah Lians look better.
[Me on something on her wrist: What is that?] It's to tie my hair. [Me: You have no hair to tie. I have more hair than you] Oh, you clip your hair. I have more clips - do you want flower ones? [Me: If they're not garish] I'll get one for you. Will you wear it? [Me: Maybe once or twice.]
[On some Sri Lankan leader with a hard-to-pronounce name, like all the others] Can we call him Charles?
boas / boo'ers (buoys)
Post ID: 109553444383008883
Sunday, September 19, 2004
My sister is returning to Singapore soon, and she wanted the recipes which she had downloaded from Usenet onto her old (and presumably spoilt) 1993 Macintosh PowerBook 180 which has lain unused since at least last millennium, so my brother in law was running around Sim Lim, hoping to find a wizened tinker who would possess the necessary skills the repair this antique.
I pointed out to him that even if anyone could retrieve data from its hard drive, it'd cost him a bomb, considering that data recovery rates for a normal HDD start at $300, so if all she wanted were her recipes, she could do better than to pay me $300 to sift through Google Groups's archives instead of this.
Unfortunately, no one had ever even *seen* a Powerbook 180, let alone possess the lost arcane lore required to retrieve data from its hard drive, but they were all quite excited at the prospect of seeing this artefact from a long-forgotten age that has since passed into the Realm of Legend. On the up side, we managed to get it started up:
Using the PS/2 ports as a point of reference, you should be able to guess how massive and brick-like the damn thing is
Pity about the cracked LCD
About This Macintosh: PowerBook 180. System Software 7.1, (C) Apple Computer, Inc. 1983-1993, Total Memory: 8,192k
Maybe we can get the Smithsonian to buy this baby...
I pointed out to him that even if anyone could retrieve data from its hard drive, it'd cost him a bomb, considering that data recovery rates for a normal HDD start at $300, so if all she wanted were her recipes, she could do better than to pay me $300 to sift through Google Groups's archives instead of this.
Unfortunately, no one had ever even *seen* a Powerbook 180, let alone possess the lost arcane lore required to retrieve data from its hard drive, but they were all quite excited at the prospect of seeing this artefact from a long-forgotten age that has since passed into the Realm of Legend. On the up side, we managed to get it started up:
Using the PS/2 ports as a point of reference, you should be able to guess how massive and brick-like the damn thing is
Pity about the cracked LCD
About This Macintosh: PowerBook 180. System Software 7.1, (C) Apple Computer, Inc. 1983-1993, Total Memory: 8,192k
Maybe we can get the Smithsonian to buy this baby...
Post ID: 109559952051176379
Friday, September 17, 2004
Quote of the Post: "Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?" - Philip G. Hamerton
***
Ponderable thought of the day: Malay males call each other "bruder", but no one calls Malay females "sistuh"
***
My favourite Engineer sends along this picture, on which she comments: "Disturbing how lecturer's jokes can be so lame..."
***
Someone on my retelling of a faux pas:
"?? that don't sound very malicious to me. but you've got a way with people."
Indeed I do, don't I? *g*
***
I used to use Miranda on my laptop for my ICQ-ing and MSN-ing needs, but I found that it choked up, and slowed to a crawl when too many messages came in/went out. Worse, it kept telling me that my messages were timing out, when in fact they were going through. The result of which was that some people got the same message from me 6 times, as I kept trying to resend my "timed out" messages.
Xephyris is still a big fan of it, but after my traumatic experience I've shifted to Trillian Pro. Maybe I shall use it on my desktop too.
***
solsetur on Boiled Coke in Traditional Chinese Medicine:
"coke is used by voodoo-medicine doctors in certain parts of the world. they do see 'miracles' happen afterwards, eg your ailing grandfather suddenly being able to leap around - which is probably the effect of all that sugar and who knows what present in coke.
I can't remember where I read this from. It was a very long time ago. In those parts of the world Coke is more than just a commercialised trendy drink - it has magical medicinal properties too. I laughed when I read it."
Maybe it's the cocaine. Ah, the power of psycho-somatic healing is wondrous indeed. I wonder if they credit Coke with spontaneous remission of cancer too.
***
An acquaintance got his letter published:
PRs and NS: A conflict of interest
Weekend • September 11, 2004
I REFER to Mindef's letter, "PRs can serve NS in other nation, but..." (Sept 10).
Instead of acknowledging the obvious conflict of interest, the response from Colonel Bernard Toh has repeated sections of Singaporean policy. The time will come when Singaporean PRs will have to decide between serving their NS obligations in different countries, for serving more than one is untenable.
Upon serving NS in Singapore, an oath of allegiance needs to be taken, where loyalty and allegiance is sworn to the Republic of Singapore. Why should a foreigner swear allegiance to a foreign state?
I hope that Colonel Toh will offer some insight into the policy regarding this conflict of interest, and if need be, set up a forum to resolve this issue.
Ho Joe-Han
***
Subject: weird number 11
11 has become to be a very interesting number. It could be a forced coincidence, but in any case this is interesting. You decide for your self:
1) New York City has 11 letters.
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W. Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence... (Could it be?)
Now here is what is interesting...
1) New York is the State # 11
2) The first plane crushing against the Twin Towers was flight 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers Adding this number gives 9+2=11.
4) Flight # 77 who also hit the towers, was carrying 65 passengers Adding this: 6+5=11.
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11. Adding this: 9+1+1=11
6) The date is equal to the emergency number 911. Adding this: 9+1+1=11
Now we have a very upsetting piece..
1) The total number of victims inside the planes are 254: 2+5+4=11
2) The day September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year: 2+5+4=11
3) After September 11, there are 111 days more to the end of the year.
4) The tragedy of 3/11/2004 in Madrid also adds to: 3+1+1+2+4=11.
5) The tragedy in Madrid happened 911 days after the tragedy of the Twin Towers.
Spooky!! Read on.....! This is really eerie,,,,, This is something to think about!
Since America is typically represented by an Eagle. Saddam and Bin Laden should have read up on their Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Quran, (the Islamic Bible).
Quran (9:11) -- For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
Note the verse number!!!!!
Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in the name "David Pawson!" I'm going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.
Wait a sec ... just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also has 11 letters! What am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me! ME! I can't believe it!
Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide! But no ..."PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters, too!
Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11 letters in "NOSTRADAMUS."
I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can't... 11 letters in "THE RED CROSS," can't trust them.
I would rely on self defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it, too! Can someone help?
Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't... "SEND ME EMAIL" has 11 letters....
Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING INSANE???" Eleven letters!!
Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though "I'LL DIE ALONE" has 11 letters....
Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day is July 4th ... 7/4 ... 7+4=11!
- Dave
PS. "IT'S BULLSHIT" has 11 letters also.
[See also: Snopes]
***
Friendly Feudalism: The Tibet Myth
In the Dalai Lama's Tibet, torture and mutilation---including eye gouging, the pulling out of tongues, hamstringing, and amputation--were favored punishments inflicted upon runaway serfs and thieves... Since it was against Buddhist teachings to take human life, some offenders were severely lashed and then "left to God" in the freezing night to die. "The parallels between Tibet and medieval Europe are striking," concludes Tom Grunfeld in his book on Tibet.
We are told that when the Dalai Lama ruled Tibet, the people lived in contented and tranquil symbiosis with their monastic and secular lords, in a social order sustained by a deeply spiritual, nonviolent culture, inspired by humane and pacific religious teachings. The Tibetan religious culture was the social glue and comforting balm that kept rich lama and poor peasant spiritually bonded together, to maintain those proselytes who embrace Old Tibet as a cultural purity, a Shangri-La.
One is reminded of the idealized imagery of feudal Europe presented by latter-day conservative Catholics such as G. K. Chesterton and Hilaire Belloc. For them, medieval Christendom was a world of contented peasants living in a deep spiritual bond with their Church, under the protection of their lords. Again we are invited to accept a particular culture on its own terms, which means accepting it as presented by its favored class, by those at the top who profited most from it. The Shangri-La image of Tibet bears no more resemblance to historic reality than does the romanticized image of medieval Europe.
***
Patient dies - " A 56-year-old patient [Jerome Saarines of Ottawa] using an oxygen tank in a room at the VA hospital near Maywood died Monday morning after the cigarette he was smoking ignited the tank Sunday"
Dog Wiggles Paw Free to Shoot Florida Man - "A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver's trigger."
Rowboat Veterans for Truth - "Friends and fellow countrymen, it's time to set the record straight. "General" George Washington is no war-hero... Rowboat Vets for Truth is here to share the real story, to correct the misleading use of our images, against our will, in paintings, woodcuts and pamphlets across the colonies. The Rowboat Vets for Truth will counter the outrageous claims made by Mr. Washington and the liberal printing presses in Boston and Philadelphia... It's time to set the record straight."
Can You Be a Pornstar? - "Think you've got what it takes to be a pornstar? We are now casting for 'Can You Be A Pornstar - Season 2!' Click Here to take your first step to $100,000.00 and an Adult Video Contract of your very own! Good Luck!"
Reality TV is getting weirder and weirder.
Torn on porn's net effect - "Pornography is good for people, the academic leading a taxpayer-funded study of the subject said yesterday... 'The surprising finding was that pornography is actually good for you in many ways,' Dr McKee said. 'When you look at people who are using it in everyday life, over 90 per cent report it has had a very positive effect.' Dr McKee said porn users reported it had taught them 'to be more relaxed about their sexuality' and marriages were healthier, while porn made people think about another person's pleasure and made them less judgmental about body shapes. 'The more we try and turn porn into something that's seen to be bad and has to be kept away from families, the more problems we might be causing for ourselves.'"
The Worst Jobs in History - "The history we are taught usually features the lives and times of the great and the good, of the haves and not the have-nots. But the famous aristocrats and monarchs could not have existed without the battalions of minions who performed the tasks that were beneath their masters. In this website, we take you on a journey through 2,000 years of British history and the worst jobs of each era."
Microsoft security chief uses Firefox - "Life is safer that way"
iPod Used In Domestic Homicide
Sun 'bomber' in Commons - "A Sun reporter could have blown up the House of Commons yesterday... Our man posed as a Commons waiter to smuggle in a fake bomb. He exposed shambolic security to get the job with bogus references. And just hours before Wednesday's Commons drama he even served Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott... Commons leader Peter Hain said last night The Sun had done MPs a favour by exposing lax security in Parliament. Mr Hain said: 'This confirms all my worst fears and why I have so determinedly pushed for much tighter security and modern professional procedures in the House. Frankly, The Sun has done the House a favour by exposing the amateurish and old-fashioned culture which is a threat to the very cockpit of our democracy.'"
Of course in Singapore he would have been arrested for trespassing and willful mischief instead of being thanked for his efforts to improve security.
The Catholic Version: Do pro-life policies reduce abortion? Or, Why Good Catholics can be Pro-Choice - "What happened when Poland banned abortions in the 1990s? If pro-life policies reduce abortion significantly, there would have been a spike in Poland's birthrate. But Poland's birth rate remained steady."
Wikipedia article on Singlish - "Is it: Used to form yes-no questions, generic like the French n'est-ce pas?, regardless of the actual verb in the sentence."
Fricatives? Phonemes? Acrolectal? Prosody? Argh! *boggle*
Bush Shoot-Out - I'm lousy. I can't even get past the first level on the lowest level of difficulty.
How to remove chewing gum - They should make all the MRT janitors read this one.
Kohlberg's Stages - "Lawrence Kohlberg (1927-1987) was a well-known theorist in the field of moral development. He posed moral dilemmas (e.g., Heinz Dilemma) to his subjects then asked questions to probe their reasons for recommending a specific course of action."
Free Music! - "Looking for classical recordings? Share these with your friends, link to me, spread the word! Everything you can get to from here is 100% copyable - it's produced independently of the RIAA, because we love music! This site primarily archives the concerts of the MIT Concert Choir and MIT Chamber Chorus."
Unfortunately, they're not very good. At least not in the few pieces I've heard.
28.571428571428573% of me is a huge nerd! How about you? - Someone: "i got exactly the same as u. this is a sham"
Weird game where you thwack little Cyclopic aliens. A variation of whack the mole.
***
Ponderable thought of the day: Malay males call each other "bruder", but no one calls Malay females "sistuh"
***
My favourite Engineer sends along this picture, on which she comments: "Disturbing how lecturer's jokes can be so lame..."
***
Someone on my retelling of a faux pas:
"?? that don't sound very malicious to me. but you've got a way with people."
Indeed I do, don't I? *g*
***
I used to use Miranda on my laptop for my ICQ-ing and MSN-ing needs, but I found that it choked up, and slowed to a crawl when too many messages came in/went out. Worse, it kept telling me that my messages were timing out, when in fact they were going through. The result of which was that some people got the same message from me 6 times, as I kept trying to resend my "timed out" messages.
Xephyris is still a big fan of it, but after my traumatic experience I've shifted to Trillian Pro. Maybe I shall use it on my desktop too.
***
solsetur on Boiled Coke in Traditional Chinese Medicine:
"coke is used by voodoo-medicine doctors in certain parts of the world. they do see 'miracles' happen afterwards, eg your ailing grandfather suddenly being able to leap around - which is probably the effect of all that sugar and who knows what present in coke.
I can't remember where I read this from. It was a very long time ago. In those parts of the world Coke is more than just a commercialised trendy drink - it has magical medicinal properties too. I laughed when I read it."
Maybe it's the cocaine. Ah, the power of psycho-somatic healing is wondrous indeed. I wonder if they credit Coke with spontaneous remission of cancer too.
***
An acquaintance got his letter published:
PRs and NS: A conflict of interest
Weekend • September 11, 2004
I REFER to Mindef's letter, "PRs can serve NS in other nation, but..." (Sept 10).
Instead of acknowledging the obvious conflict of interest, the response from Colonel Bernard Toh has repeated sections of Singaporean policy. The time will come when Singaporean PRs will have to decide between serving their NS obligations in different countries, for serving more than one is untenable.
Upon serving NS in Singapore, an oath of allegiance needs to be taken, where loyalty and allegiance is sworn to the Republic of Singapore. Why should a foreigner swear allegiance to a foreign state?
I hope that Colonel Toh will offer some insight into the policy regarding this conflict of interest, and if need be, set up a forum to resolve this issue.
Ho Joe-Han
***
Subject: weird number 11
11 has become to be a very interesting number. It could be a forced coincidence, but in any case this is interesting. You decide for your self:
1) New York City has 11 letters.
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W. Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence... (Could it be?)
Now here is what is interesting...
1) New York is the State # 11
2) The first plane crushing against the Twin Towers was flight 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers Adding this number gives 9+2=11.
4) Flight # 77 who also hit the towers, was carrying 65 passengers Adding this: 6+5=11.
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11. Adding this: 9+1+1=11
6) The date is equal to the emergency number 911. Adding this: 9+1+1=11
Now we have a very upsetting piece..
1) The total number of victims inside the planes are 254: 2+5+4=11
2) The day September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year: 2+5+4=11
3) After September 11, there are 111 days more to the end of the year.
4) The tragedy of 3/11/2004 in Madrid also adds to: 3+1+1+2+4=11.
5) The tragedy in Madrid happened 911 days after the tragedy of the Twin Towers.
Spooky!! Read on.....! This is really eerie,,,,, This is something to think about!
Since America is typically represented by an Eagle. Saddam and Bin Laden should have read up on their Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Quran, (the Islamic Bible).
Quran (9:11) -- For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
Note the verse number!!!!!
Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in the name "David Pawson!" I'm going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.
Wait a sec ... just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also has 11 letters! What am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me! ME! I can't believe it!
Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide! But no ..."PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters, too!
Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11 letters in "NOSTRADAMUS."
I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can't... 11 letters in "THE RED CROSS," can't trust them.
I would rely on self defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it, too! Can someone help?
Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't... "SEND ME EMAIL" has 11 letters....
Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING INSANE???" Eleven letters!!
Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though "I'LL DIE ALONE" has 11 letters....
Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day is July 4th ... 7/4 ... 7+4=11!
- Dave
PS. "IT'S BULLSHIT" has 11 letters also.
[See also: Snopes]
***
Friendly Feudalism: The Tibet Myth
In the Dalai Lama's Tibet, torture and mutilation---including eye gouging, the pulling out of tongues, hamstringing, and amputation--were favored punishments inflicted upon runaway serfs and thieves... Since it was against Buddhist teachings to take human life, some offenders were severely lashed and then "left to God" in the freezing night to die. "The parallels between Tibet and medieval Europe are striking," concludes Tom Grunfeld in his book on Tibet.
We are told that when the Dalai Lama ruled Tibet, the people lived in contented and tranquil symbiosis with their monastic and secular lords, in a social order sustained by a deeply spiritual, nonviolent culture, inspired by humane and pacific religious teachings. The Tibetan religious culture was the social glue and comforting balm that kept rich lama and poor peasant spiritually bonded together, to maintain those proselytes who embrace Old Tibet as a cultural purity, a Shangri-La.
One is reminded of the idealized imagery of feudal Europe presented by latter-day conservative Catholics such as G. K. Chesterton and Hilaire Belloc. For them, medieval Christendom was a world of contented peasants living in a deep spiritual bond with their Church, under the protection of their lords. Again we are invited to accept a particular culture on its own terms, which means accepting it as presented by its favored class, by those at the top who profited most from it. The Shangri-La image of Tibet bears no more resemblance to historic reality than does the romanticized image of medieval Europe.
***
Patient dies - " A 56-year-old patient [Jerome Saarines of Ottawa] using an oxygen tank in a room at the VA hospital near Maywood died Monday morning after the cigarette he was smoking ignited the tank Sunday"
Dog Wiggles Paw Free to Shoot Florida Man - "A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver's trigger."
Rowboat Veterans for Truth - "Friends and fellow countrymen, it's time to set the record straight. "General" George Washington is no war-hero... Rowboat Vets for Truth is here to share the real story, to correct the misleading use of our images, against our will, in paintings, woodcuts and pamphlets across the colonies. The Rowboat Vets for Truth will counter the outrageous claims made by Mr. Washington and the liberal printing presses in Boston and Philadelphia... It's time to set the record straight."
Can You Be a Pornstar? - "Think you've got what it takes to be a pornstar? We are now casting for 'Can You Be A Pornstar - Season 2!' Click Here to take your first step to $100,000.00 and an Adult Video Contract of your very own! Good Luck!"
Reality TV is getting weirder and weirder.
Torn on porn's net effect - "Pornography is good for people, the academic leading a taxpayer-funded study of the subject said yesterday... 'The surprising finding was that pornography is actually good for you in many ways,' Dr McKee said. 'When you look at people who are using it in everyday life, over 90 per cent report it has had a very positive effect.' Dr McKee said porn users reported it had taught them 'to be more relaxed about their sexuality' and marriages were healthier, while porn made people think about another person's pleasure and made them less judgmental about body shapes. 'The more we try and turn porn into something that's seen to be bad and has to be kept away from families, the more problems we might be causing for ourselves.'"
The Worst Jobs in History - "The history we are taught usually features the lives and times of the great and the good, of the haves and not the have-nots. But the famous aristocrats and monarchs could not have existed without the battalions of minions who performed the tasks that were beneath their masters. In this website, we take you on a journey through 2,000 years of British history and the worst jobs of each era."
Microsoft security chief uses Firefox - "Life is safer that way"
iPod Used In Domestic Homicide
Sun 'bomber' in Commons - "A Sun reporter could have blown up the House of Commons yesterday... Our man posed as a Commons waiter to smuggle in a fake bomb. He exposed shambolic security to get the job with bogus references. And just hours before Wednesday's Commons drama he even served Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott... Commons leader Peter Hain said last night The Sun had done MPs a favour by exposing lax security in Parliament. Mr Hain said: 'This confirms all my worst fears and why I have so determinedly pushed for much tighter security and modern professional procedures in the House. Frankly, The Sun has done the House a favour by exposing the amateurish and old-fashioned culture which is a threat to the very cockpit of our democracy.'"
Of course in Singapore he would have been arrested for trespassing and willful mischief instead of being thanked for his efforts to improve security.
The Catholic Version: Do pro-life policies reduce abortion? Or, Why Good Catholics can be Pro-Choice - "What happened when Poland banned abortions in the 1990s? If pro-life policies reduce abortion significantly, there would have been a spike in Poland's birthrate. But Poland's birth rate remained steady."
Wikipedia article on Singlish - "Is it: Used to form yes-no questions, generic like the French n'est-ce pas?, regardless of the actual verb in the sentence."
Fricatives? Phonemes? Acrolectal? Prosody? Argh! *boggle*
Bush Shoot-Out - I'm lousy. I can't even get past the first level on the lowest level of difficulty.
How to remove chewing gum - They should make all the MRT janitors read this one.
Kohlberg's Stages - "Lawrence Kohlberg (1927-1987) was a well-known theorist in the field of moral development. He posed moral dilemmas (e.g., Heinz Dilemma) to his subjects then asked questions to probe their reasons for recommending a specific course of action."
Free Music! - "Looking for classical recordings? Share these with your friends, link to me, spread the word! Everything you can get to from here is 100% copyable - it's produced independently of the RIAA, because we love music! This site primarily archives the concerts of the MIT Concert Choir and MIT Chamber Chorus."
Unfortunately, they're not very good. At least not in the few pieces I've heard.
28.571428571428573% of me is a huge nerd! How about you? - Someone: "i got exactly the same as u. this is a sham"
Weird game where you thwack little Cyclopic aliens. A variation of whack the mole.
Post ID: 109534096146821550
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Chinese Language Policies In Singapore
We are a group of students researching the impact of the declining standard of the Chinese language on society in Singapore as our Project Work assignment. The following survey is part of our research and we would appreciate your help in completing it.
The declining standard of Chinese has manifested itself in several education policies:
- The Chinese Language B Syllabus is an easier exam and syllabus studied by students who are struggling with the language.
- Requirements for taking Higher Chinese have been lowered to make it easier for able students to take the language at a higher level in hopes of producing a bilingual elite.
- University admission criteria have been altered, making it no longer compulsory to include Chinese results in admission scores.
- A new review committee has been set up to monitor and modify Chinese teaching methods in accordance with the ability levels of students.
We would like to know your opinions and views on these changes. Thank you.
Question 9: How would the policies affect you personally?
Answer: Others: I DO NOT TAKE CHINESE ANYMORE. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
***
More insights on what happens at night in the halls of our country's Premier Institution of Social Engineering:
Friend: the guys in my block are looking for girls to drag into the toilets to shampoo. all of us have to lock our doors. what the heck
it's some honour thing lah.... like why tchs guys don't want to get stripped during their birthdays
and it's very difficult to wash clean after tt cos they use A LOT of shampoo
Me: wah lao sounds like they go around raping girls... forcibly pinning them down etc
Friend: close
Witnessing this sounds like it would be more fun than being a voyeur!
We are a group of students researching the impact of the declining standard of the Chinese language on society in Singapore as our Project Work assignment. The following survey is part of our research and we would appreciate your help in completing it.
The declining standard of Chinese has manifested itself in several education policies:
- The Chinese Language B Syllabus is an easier exam and syllabus studied by students who are struggling with the language.
- Requirements for taking Higher Chinese have been lowered to make it easier for able students to take the language at a higher level in hopes of producing a bilingual elite.
- University admission criteria have been altered, making it no longer compulsory to include Chinese results in admission scores.
- A new review committee has been set up to monitor and modify Chinese teaching methods in accordance with the ability levels of students.
We would like to know your opinions and views on these changes. Thank you.
Question 9: How would the policies affect you personally?
Answer: Others: I DO NOT TAKE CHINESE ANYMORE. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
***
More insights on what happens at night in the halls of our country's Premier Institution of Social Engineering:
Friend: the guys in my block are looking for girls to drag into the toilets to shampoo. all of us have to lock our doors. what the heck
it's some honour thing lah.... like why tchs guys don't want to get stripped during their birthdays
and it's very difficult to wash clean after tt cos they use A LOT of shampoo
Me: wah lao sounds like they go around raping girls... forcibly pinning them down etc
Friend: close
Witnessing this sounds like it would be more fun than being a voyeur!
Post ID: 109509465663044570
Monday, September 13, 2004
Quote of the Post: "Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists." - John Kenneth Galbraith
***
Free wireless broadband for Starhub Mobile customers at Changi Airport. Yay.
"Come find out today scientifically why god exists and why jesus loves you at our talk... 14 september, 2pm, LT 27"
Heh heh. This is too good to resist. I love my informants.
***
By popular demand, more engineer jokes:
Blind Fire Fighters
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.
Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?
George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!
(silence)
Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
The Lost Balloonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says,"Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 41 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 59 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going to. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
Engineers & Accountants on a Train
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but all three engineers cramed into a restroom and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decided to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
When they boarded the train, the three accountants cramed into a restroom and the three engineers cramed into another nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
***
"Dear Offended,
I do not suggest that I may have the privilege of viewing society from a more illuminating angle at all, but there is something that I have learned for myself over the years. I have learned that things/events/words are not offensive; it is the context in which things/events/words are used and accepted.
Why do I use the word “cripple” so readily? It’s partially the shock value, but it is mostly because I feel it is important to practice what I am explaining now. A person who calls me a cripple is not necessarily an asshole; it’s the way he uses it. Actually, I am all for free expression, especially if that expression is blatantly offensive. It makes the assholes stand out.
If you were to shine everything up and remove any potentially offensive bit from all humor, there would be no humor at all. Any joke, even the most innocent joke told by my seven year old niece, has a party being hurt either physically or emotionally. We laugh because it is the only way to express ourselves at the time, empathetic or not.
If you hide what is considered offensive in order not to offend but do nothing about its context, you empower that thing to be much more than it ever was. It’s like using a racial epithet. It’s not the word itself, it’s the racist asshole that’s using it."
(notice on It's a BK Holiday!, flash animation to the MP3 of "Ding Fried Are Done", some Burger King parody to the tune of Carol of the Bells)
***
"USP has an entire block at PGP!!
i guess they want u guys to fuck other scholars
whoops, i mean get to know other scholars"
Heh heh.
***
Free wireless broadband for Starhub Mobile customers at Changi Airport. Yay.
"Come find out today scientifically why god exists and why jesus loves you at our talk... 14 september, 2pm, LT 27"
Heh heh. This is too good to resist. I love my informants.
***
By popular demand, more engineer jokes:
Blind Fire Fighters
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.
Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?
George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!
(silence)
Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
The Lost Balloonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says,"Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 41 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 59 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going to. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
Engineers & Accountants on a Train
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but all three engineers cramed into a restroom and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decided to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
When they boarded the train, the three accountants cramed into a restroom and the three engineers cramed into another nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
***
"Dear Offended,
I do not suggest that I may have the privilege of viewing society from a more illuminating angle at all, but there is something that I have learned for myself over the years. I have learned that things/events/words are not offensive; it is the context in which things/events/words are used and accepted.
Why do I use the word “cripple” so readily? It’s partially the shock value, but it is mostly because I feel it is important to practice what I am explaining now. A person who calls me a cripple is not necessarily an asshole; it’s the way he uses it. Actually, I am all for free expression, especially if that expression is blatantly offensive. It makes the assholes stand out.
If you were to shine everything up and remove any potentially offensive bit from all humor, there would be no humor at all. Any joke, even the most innocent joke told by my seven year old niece, has a party being hurt either physically or emotionally. We laugh because it is the only way to express ourselves at the time, empathetic or not.
If you hide what is considered offensive in order not to offend but do nothing about its context, you empower that thing to be much more than it ever was. It’s like using a racial epithet. It’s not the word itself, it’s the racist asshole that’s using it."
(notice on It's a BK Holiday!, flash animation to the MP3 of "Ding Fried Are Done", some Burger King parody to the tune of Carol of the Bells)
***
"USP has an entire block at PGP!!
i guess they want u guys to fuck other scholars
whoops, i mean get to know other scholars"
Heh heh.
Post ID: 109500893915914377
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Quote of the Post: "There are only two ways of telling the complete truth - anonymously and posthumously." - Thomas Sowell
Random Playlist Song: Westminster Cathedral Choir - Schubert - The Lord is my Shepherd D706
Yay. Another of the songs that I've been looking for for the longest time is now within my grasp. Though I'm not fond of organ accompaniments, since the organ notes, already slightly muffled by their nature, tend to merge into indistinct clumps when you layer voices on top of them.
***
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said : "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my stepmother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother in-law of her father in-law.
Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grand father of my half brother.
This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my stepmother is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother in-law of my child whose stepsister is my father's wife. I am my stepmother's brother in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt [Ed: step-daughter-in-law actually], my son is my father's nephew [Ed: step-cousin-in-law actually] and I am my own GRANDFATHER [Ed: step-grandfather actually] !!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS.............................
Did I correct the familial relations properly?
This story is actually based on a song: I'm My Own Grandpa
***
A Rulebook for Arguments
(4) Use definite, specific, concrete language
Write concretely: avoid abstract vague, general terms. "We hiked for hours in the sun" is a hundred times better than "It was an extended period of laborious exertion."
NO:
For those whose roles primarily involved the performance of services, as distinguished from assumption of leadership responsibilities, the main pattern seems to have been a response to the leadership’s invoking obligations that were concomitants of the status of membership in the societal community and various of its segmental units. The closest modern analogy is the military service performed by an ordinary citizen, except that the leader of the Egyptian bureaucracy did not need a special emergency to invoke legitimate obligations. [This passage is from Talcott Parsons, Societies: Evolutionary an Comparative Perspectives (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1966), p. 56. I owe the quotation and the rewritten version which follows to Stanislas Andreski, Social Science as Sorcery (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1972), Chapter 6.]
Yes:
In ancient Egypt the common people were liable to be conscripted for work.
LOL. So much for academic writing - I doubt anyone who writes like in the latter style would be hired, really. It's just the conspiracy of using jargon to exclude others from your inner circle, really.
***
When she was in Egypt for her travel show, Zoe Tay went not only to the Great Pyramid of Khufu, but also the Step Pyramid of Zoser at Saqqara and the Bent Pyramid of Snefru at Dhashur. I'm impressed.
The PVC coated card that I ordered from Kah Keng and Kah Seng at the Science Foyer about 3 weeks ago has arrived! Now I can terrorise everyone with it!
Front
Back
Someone on Wo-hen Nankan:
I totally understand how you feel dude. And I know your secret. It's your mullet combine with your stache. And the shoulder pads... and the obscene vans... and the offensive shirt... and the kensas size ego... somehow, all these elements that are traditionally known to be nothing but bad taste all rolled together with the obscene ego suddenly becomes a new form of retro-chic, making you the sexiest man to the opposite sex, as well as some of the same sex.
it's kinda like a circle. when you go further back enough, you loop around go to the front. Yes, I'm totally jealous, screw you.
An observation about choristers: Many of them are nonchalent about non-modern music. A few of them start to like choral music, though usually only the pieces/genres that they're used to.
Some of them find that they have an affinity for modern acapella, which really is mostly a way of singing pop music without needing guitars and drums, so that's not really counted.
However, it seems that only those who have prior musical background like classical music. Ah well.
Got my ink from a company called "S-Trans". So far it's been ok, only occasionally not flowing properly, in which case I've to reprint the page. At least they delivered the goods, unlike sginkjets!
***
As a service towards the world at large, I am hosting the lyrics and mp3 of the unofficial song of the NUS USP: "That's what I call an education", by Don Shiau.
All I will say about this song is to quote someone else: "It's about everything it says it isn't about"
MP3
Don Shiau - That's What I Call an Education! (128kbps, 44khz, 1724kb)
Lyrics:
That's What I Call an Education!
Don Shiau
It's not about money
It's not about grades
It's not about mugging
It's not about brains
It's not about glamour
It's not about elites
It's not about power
Or how hard to compete
Chorus:
It's about diversity
Growing opportunities
Bounded only by imagination
Being in the USP
Building a community
Now that's what I call an education
It's not about money
It's not about bonds
It's not about how much
It's not about how long
It's not about ranking
It's not about power
It's not about living
In an ivory tower
(repeat chorus)
***
What Happened to the Political Sim? - "Read the reviews of countless recent strategy titles, and you’ll find a recurrent criticism: Their diplomatic systems lack depth. The very model of a modern AI general might be supremely challenging in other respects, but when it comes to negotiation, he’s monolithic and stupid. However, this is merely a symptom: The approach of developers to strategy gaming has become so focused on play dynamics that political simulations have all but vanished. Look at the latest batch of strategy releases, and one might think consumers want nothing but relentless action even in so-called brainy releases, and couldn’t give two hoots whether, say, Pope Julius II is depicted with his devious strategic imagination historically intact."
After watching nw.t play Hidden Agenda, I wanted to play it too so I emailed the author of Hidden Agenda, who said he'd send the game to anyone who asked, but I haven't gotten a response after many days.
Alice Law - "Learn Special Relativity and General Relativity with this program. The program shows in an extraordinary way, how and why occur these magical physics laws"
Mothers Against Maddox (mirror - original site here) - This is hilarious. As Maddox comments: "For years, I was under the impression that the only mother who wanted my site shut down was my own. I stand corrected"
Big Burger - "A 6 lb. Burger. Where's the beef? It's at a Pennsylvania pub that serves the world's biggest burger — weighing in at NINE lip-smacking pounds! That's no whopper — you can actually get this meat monster for $23.95, loaded with all the fixings: Two whole tomatoes, a half-head of lettuce, 12 slices of American cheese, a full cup of peppers, two entire onions, plus, a river of mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard."
2nd reason found to check woman's ring finger - "Women whose index fingers are shorter than their ring fingers are more likely to engage in casual sex, a McMaster University psychologist claims... The strongest indicator of high sexual activity, of the seven Clark studied, was the amount of money spent on alcohol."
And I wonder why I'm a teetotaller.
Research Randomizer - "Research Randomizer is a free service offered to students and researchers interested in conducting random assignment and random sampling."
I thought it was faking results for your assignments! *g*
Da Vinci mystery tour piques Paris - "Officials at St Sulpice are annoyed by the onslaught of visitors brandishing the novel and are angered by the book's distortion of history. Staff are so exhausted by demands for information about the Priory of Sion, which Brown links to the church, that they have hung a terse printed notice on a side wall: 'Contrary to the fanciful allegations in a recent best-selling novel, this is not the vestige of a pagan temple.'"
Singapore Political Dissidents (from Carl Parkes, Singapore Handbook, 1st edition, which I doubt is on sale here) - This excerpt has the stories of Chia Thye Poh ("near-holder of world’s record for political detention"), J.B. Jeyaretnam ("Singapore’s most defiant opposition figure"), Vincent Cheng and the Marxist Conspiracy ("few observers thought it possible that this loose collection of lawyers, Christian activists, and theatrical performers comprised some sort of Marxist conspiracy against the Singapore government"), Francis Seow and Chee Soon Juan ("fired by the university on charges that he had spent US$138 of university research funds to ship his wife's doctoral thesis to Pennsylvania State University"), and ends with 2 famous quotes on democracy and freedom, and a sycophantic mass media from MM which, for some reason, you never read in the Straits Times.
Random Playlist Song: Westminster Cathedral Choir - Schubert - The Lord is my Shepherd D706
Yay. Another of the songs that I've been looking for for the longest time is now within my grasp. Though I'm not fond of organ accompaniments, since the organ notes, already slightly muffled by their nature, tend to merge into indistinct clumps when you layer voices on top of them.
***
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said : "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my stepmother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother in-law of her father in-law.
Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grand father of my half brother.
This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my stepmother is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother in-law of my child whose stepsister is my father's wife. I am my stepmother's brother in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt [Ed: step-daughter-in-law actually], my son is my father's nephew [Ed: step-cousin-in-law actually] and I am my own GRANDFATHER [Ed: step-grandfather actually] !!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS.............................
Did I correct the familial relations properly?
This story is actually based on a song: I'm My Own Grandpa
***
A Rulebook for Arguments
(4) Use definite, specific, concrete language
Write concretely: avoid abstract vague, general terms. "We hiked for hours in the sun" is a hundred times better than "It was an extended period of laborious exertion."
NO:
For those whose roles primarily involved the performance of services, as distinguished from assumption of leadership responsibilities, the main pattern seems to have been a response to the leadership’s invoking obligations that were concomitants of the status of membership in the societal community and various of its segmental units. The closest modern analogy is the military service performed by an ordinary citizen, except that the leader of the Egyptian bureaucracy did not need a special emergency to invoke legitimate obligations. [This passage is from Talcott Parsons, Societies: Evolutionary an Comparative Perspectives (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1966), p. 56. I owe the quotation and the rewritten version which follows to Stanislas Andreski, Social Science as Sorcery (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1972), Chapter 6.]
Yes:
In ancient Egypt the common people were liable to be conscripted for work.
LOL. So much for academic writing - I doubt anyone who writes like in the latter style would be hired, really. It's just the conspiracy of using jargon to exclude others from your inner circle, really.
***
When she was in Egypt for her travel show, Zoe Tay went not only to the Great Pyramid of Khufu, but also the Step Pyramid of Zoser at Saqqara and the Bent Pyramid of Snefru at Dhashur. I'm impressed.
The PVC coated card that I ordered from Kah Keng and Kah Seng at the Science Foyer about 3 weeks ago has arrived! Now I can terrorise everyone with it!
Front
Back
Someone on Wo-hen Nankan:
I totally understand how you feel dude. And I know your secret. It's your mullet combine with your stache. And the shoulder pads... and the obscene vans... and the offensive shirt... and the kensas size ego... somehow, all these elements that are traditionally known to be nothing but bad taste all rolled together with the obscene ego suddenly becomes a new form of retro-chic, making you the sexiest man to the opposite sex, as well as some of the same sex.
it's kinda like a circle. when you go further back enough, you loop around go to the front. Yes, I'm totally jealous, screw you.
An observation about choristers: Many of them are nonchalent about non-modern music. A few of them start to like choral music, though usually only the pieces/genres that they're used to.
Some of them find that they have an affinity for modern acapella, which really is mostly a way of singing pop music without needing guitars and drums, so that's not really counted.
However, it seems that only those who have prior musical background like classical music. Ah well.
Got my ink from a company called "S-Trans". So far it's been ok, only occasionally not flowing properly, in which case I've to reprint the page. At least they delivered the goods, unlike sginkjets!
***
As a service towards the world at large, I am hosting the lyrics and mp3 of the unofficial song of the NUS USP: "That's what I call an education", by Don Shiau.
All I will say about this song is to quote someone else: "It's about everything it says it isn't about"
MP3
Don Shiau - That's What I Call an Education! (128kbps, 44khz, 1724kb)
Lyrics:
That's What I Call an Education!
Don Shiau
It's not about money
It's not about grades
It's not about mugging
It's not about brains
It's not about glamour
It's not about elites
It's not about power
Or how hard to compete
Chorus:
It's about diversity
Growing opportunities
Bounded only by imagination
Being in the USP
Building a community
Now that's what I call an education
It's not about money
It's not about bonds
It's not about how much
It's not about how long
It's not about ranking
It's not about power
It's not about living
In an ivory tower
(repeat chorus)
***
What Happened to the Political Sim? - "Read the reviews of countless recent strategy titles, and you’ll find a recurrent criticism: Their diplomatic systems lack depth. The very model of a modern AI general might be supremely challenging in other respects, but when it comes to negotiation, he’s monolithic and stupid. However, this is merely a symptom: The approach of developers to strategy gaming has become so focused on play dynamics that political simulations have all but vanished. Look at the latest batch of strategy releases, and one might think consumers want nothing but relentless action even in so-called brainy releases, and couldn’t give two hoots whether, say, Pope Julius II is depicted with his devious strategic imagination historically intact."
After watching nw.t play Hidden Agenda, I wanted to play it too so I emailed the author of Hidden Agenda, who said he'd send the game to anyone who asked, but I haven't gotten a response after many days.
Alice Law - "Learn Special Relativity and General Relativity with this program. The program shows in an extraordinary way, how and why occur these magical physics laws"
Mothers Against Maddox (mirror - original site here) - This is hilarious. As Maddox comments: "For years, I was under the impression that the only mother who wanted my site shut down was my own. I stand corrected"
Big Burger - "A 6 lb. Burger. Where's the beef? It's at a Pennsylvania pub that serves the world's biggest burger — weighing in at NINE lip-smacking pounds! That's no whopper — you can actually get this meat monster for $23.95, loaded with all the fixings: Two whole tomatoes, a half-head of lettuce, 12 slices of American cheese, a full cup of peppers, two entire onions, plus, a river of mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard."
2nd reason found to check woman's ring finger - "Women whose index fingers are shorter than their ring fingers are more likely to engage in casual sex, a McMaster University psychologist claims... The strongest indicator of high sexual activity, of the seven Clark studied, was the amount of money spent on alcohol."
And I wonder why I'm a teetotaller.
Research Randomizer - "Research Randomizer is a free service offered to students and researchers interested in conducting random assignment and random sampling."
I thought it was faking results for your assignments! *g*
Da Vinci mystery tour piques Paris - "Officials at St Sulpice are annoyed by the onslaught of visitors brandishing the novel and are angered by the book's distortion of history. Staff are so exhausted by demands for information about the Priory of Sion, which Brown links to the church, that they have hung a terse printed notice on a side wall: 'Contrary to the fanciful allegations in a recent best-selling novel, this is not the vestige of a pagan temple.'"
Singapore Political Dissidents (from Carl Parkes, Singapore Handbook, 1st edition, which I doubt is on sale here) - This excerpt has the stories of Chia Thye Poh ("near-holder of world’s record for political detention"), J.B. Jeyaretnam ("Singapore’s most defiant opposition figure"), Vincent Cheng and the Marxist Conspiracy ("few observers thought it possible that this loose collection of lawyers, Christian activists, and theatrical performers comprised some sort of Marxist conspiracy against the Singapore government"), Francis Seow and Chee Soon Juan ("fired by the university on charges that he had spent US$138 of university research funds to ship his wife's doctoral thesis to Pennsylvania State University"), and ends with 2 famous quotes on democracy and freedom, and a sycophantic mass media from MM which, for some reason, you never read in the Straits Times.
Post ID: 109487228309085893
Friday, September 10, 2004
Quote of the Post: "I know nothing about sex because I was always married." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Random Playlist Song: Handel - Joshua - Overture
***
Some Engineer jokes from the archives:
Q: What is the definition of an engineer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Two engineering students are walking across campus; one turns to the other and asks: "Hey, that's some cool bike. Where'd you get such a great bike?"
"Well, I'll tell you. I was out for a walk yesterday, minding my own business, when this beautiful woman rides up on this bike. She throws it to the ground, rips off all her clothes, and says, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nods approvingly. "Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
***
Since I was OCR-ing stuff for my mother's exam papers, I got down to scanning these too:
***
One of TalkingCock's less lame (and more funny) cartoons:
MEN IN WHITE
One day in a HDB estate...
Girl: AIYEE!
Mother: Ah Girl, what is it? Wha'ppen?
Girl: I... I just saw on this wep site... a political opinion!
Girl: ...B-but they don't exist in Singapore... do they?
Mother: I... I donno...
Mysterious Figure: They do, Ma'am, but they shouldn't. That's where we come in...
Girl: Who're you?
Mother: Wait... I... I've heard of you, b-but only in whispers... Y-you're...
Mother: MIW - Men In White
Crew Cut Man: That's right, Ma'am. We show up whenever someone witnesses something alien to Singapore...
Crew Cut Man: There are certain things people shouldn't know about for their own good and the good of the country...
Long Haired Man: Huh! This one's a dangerous one...
Long Haired Man: He doesn't even believe what's written in the Straits Times!
[more]
***
More tales of raunchy prurience from solsetur:
"Sheares hall is having 'Buaya' week, which is their version of the Angel Mortal
game. KH was telling us about his buaya (Angel) the other day during project discussion.
Tough luck."
***
"The sound of the harpsichord has been variously described as the ticking of a sewing machine (Ralph Vaughan Williams), a toasting fork on a birdcage (Percy Scholes), and two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof (Thomas Beecham)... the sound can be varied in ways which are simply not possible on any other keyboard, including the modern piano. Dramatic tonal changes can be made by switching manuals, adding extra "choirs" of strings, or applying a lute stop. This is particularly important since the harpsichord - unlike the piano - is very limited in its ability to vary dynamics (note volume) and articulation (note length)."
Someone from the other (wrong) side of the Iron Curtain on the new CO of 42SAR:
"Some guy called Bobby Lee. And his first name is not Robert. He gave a guy 3 extra for talking during his speech.
And his commander 7.
He also implemented weekend RT."
"u dont cut it it'll grow slower than usual
so the theory is that u should trim it a little
keeps ur hair in good health too"
Maybe I should rescind my vow not to let scissors touch my hair for the forseeable future.
Dilbert in a gray area social situation
Someone: i can quote you in my article man. give me a good quote
Someone: Gabriel, an avid user of P2P software, shares, "Ever since I started using file sharing, I've bought more CDs. But not everyone is like me, they're cheapskate."
Me: eh I didn't say that!
learning the first tool of the journalists' trade already, I see: misquoting others
Someone: you learn fast. next up, fabricating articles.
Random Playlist Song: Handel - Joshua - Overture
***
Some Engineer jokes from the archives:
Q: What is the definition of an engineer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Two engineering students are walking across campus; one turns to the other and asks: "Hey, that's some cool bike. Where'd you get such a great bike?"
"Well, I'll tell you. I was out for a walk yesterday, minding my own business, when this beautiful woman rides up on this bike. She throws it to the ground, rips off all her clothes, and says, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nods approvingly. "Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
***
Since I was OCR-ing stuff for my mother's exam papers, I got down to scanning these too:
***
One of TalkingCock's less lame (and more funny) cartoons:
MEN IN WHITE
One day in a HDB estate...
Girl: AIYEE!
Mother: Ah Girl, what is it? Wha'ppen?
Girl: I... I just saw on this wep site... a political opinion!
Girl: ...B-but they don't exist in Singapore... do they?
Mother: I... I donno...
Mysterious Figure: They do, Ma'am, but they shouldn't. That's where we come in...
Girl: Who're you?
Mother: Wait... I... I've heard of you, b-but only in whispers... Y-you're...
Mother: MIW - Men In White
Crew Cut Man: That's right, Ma'am. We show up whenever someone witnesses something alien to Singapore...
Crew Cut Man: There are certain things people shouldn't know about for their own good and the good of the country...
Long Haired Man: Huh! This one's a dangerous one...
Long Haired Man: He doesn't even believe what's written in the Straits Times!
[more]
***
More tales of raunchy prurience from solsetur:
"Sheares hall is having 'Buaya' week, which is their version of the Angel Mortal
game. KH was telling us about his buaya (Angel) the other day during project discussion.
So since I don't know who she is we've been passing presents through X (this other guy) and the other day apart from my gifts, I hugged X and told him that he must pass my hug and hug her.
So X did, came back, and after handing over all her presents told me that she returned the hug with a kiss. But no way was he going to kiss me so I better forget about 'getting' her kiss.
Shit. They told me she is quite chio.
Shit. She kissed X, that lucky idiot.
Shit. I could not get my kiss in the end because X refused to kiss me! X took advantage of my 'Buaya'!!!
Tough luck."
***
"The sound of the harpsichord has been variously described as the ticking of a sewing machine (Ralph Vaughan Williams), a toasting fork on a birdcage (Percy Scholes), and two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof (Thomas Beecham)... the sound can be varied in ways which are simply not possible on any other keyboard, including the modern piano. Dramatic tonal changes can be made by switching manuals, adding extra "choirs" of strings, or applying a lute stop. This is particularly important since the harpsichord - unlike the piano - is very limited in its ability to vary dynamics (note volume) and articulation (note length)."
Someone from the other (wrong) side of the Iron Curtain on the new CO of 42SAR:
"Some guy called Bobby Lee. And his first name is not Robert. He gave a guy 3 extra for talking during his speech.
And his commander 7.
He also implemented weekend RT."
"u dont cut it it'll grow slower than usual
so the theory is that u should trim it a little
keeps ur hair in good health too"
Maybe I should rescind my vow not to let scissors touch my hair for the forseeable future.
Dilbert in a gray area social situation
Someone: i can quote you in my article man. give me a good quote
Someone: Gabriel, an avid user of P2P software, shares, "Ever since I started using file sharing, I've bought more CDs. But not everyone is like me, they're cheapskate."
Me: eh I didn't say that!
learning the first tool of the journalists' trade already, I see: misquoting others
Someone: you learn fast. next up, fabricating articles.
Post ID: 109473455740788247
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Quote of the Post: "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." - Hunter S. Thompson
Random Playlist Song: Schubert - Impromptu in B flat major
***
Picture of the Day
Observe the vacuous, wide-eyed look on the faces of the people on the shirt. They're either hypnotised or on drugs.
Someone: "zombie kids, i say. that blank, emotionless stare from their cold, unblinking eyes :)
**** is breeding zombies!!!
all with terribly cheena hairstyles. and scrawny arms. and they all seem to be locked in a position as if they want the wind to disperse the sweat from their left armpits"
***
CampBabe 2004
"Join the Search for CampBabe 2004
The event which enlivened camp sites and kept our soldiers delighted is back!
CampBabe 2004 is jointly organized by SAFRA Radio and MIW to bring more refreshing programmes and see more joyful faces in camps this year.
In addition, the young, talented and aspiring female contestants are also given an opportunity to pursue a dream career as a DJ with SAFRA Radio Dongli 88.3FM, not to mention winning $5,000 worth of cash and prizes."
And you thought NS Idol was bad enough! No doubt the soldiers were "delighted", though, given how desperate most NS guys are. Most of them are either ugly, ah lian, or (most commonly) both.
Question: What's worse than 1 shrill, anorexic, chinese-speaking ah lian?
Answer: 12 of them!
Friend: kept our soldiers delighted is back!
more joyful faces in camps
SOUNDS LIKE COMFORT WOMEN!!
Brother in law: "Is this what my tax dollars are going to? CampBabe 2004? I want to protest!"
***
"In a faraway town, there is a barber who only shaves men that do not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?"
There is an easy solution to Russel's Paradox in this case.
"The oldest profession is also the oldest pretext for outraged moralising and unrealistic lawmaking devised by man." - My favourite periodical
Great product of the day: Australian 'Red Rock Deli' brand 'Honey Soy' flavour potato chips. Cooked in Sunflower Oil, they have as big a crunch as the chips from Kettle, and their taste is simply sublime.
***
The NUS Forum Co-op stocks a lot of interesting magazines:
Mother and Baby (must be a lot of teenage pregnancies)
Dogs Life
Animals and You (A pets magazine for tweens, aimed at Screwed Up Girls no doubt)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (for Screwed Up Girls who won't grow up)
Jughead's Double Digest (for guys who won't grow up)
Wine Spectator (to decide what to bring for drunken frat parties)
Guns and Ammo; Combat Handguns (in case someone gets so pissed off by the administration that they decide to do a Columbine)
Tattoos for Men; Tattoos for Women (so people can carve their exss names onto their arms)
Golf (for those in Law and Medicine)
Metal Maniacs (for Satanists)
Australian Linux Journal (PRC hackers)
International homes: for the best homes and lifestyles (to inspire people to study)
British railway modelling
Chai Wan Kon Astrology 2005 - welcoming the god of prosperity
Combat - the best in Martial Arts Coverage (Bullies)
For our last Sociology lecture, we were treated to something special. Not only did we have a "guest" lecturer (someone else from the department), but at some points the Tutorial Assistants snatched the mic from her, berated her for being boring, and launched into various skits on The Family and types of marriages; they covered monogamy (having one spouse but cheating on him/her), serial monogamy (having various spouses singly but in succession), polyandry and polygyny (which Masai women don't mind their husband practising because it means there are more people around to do the work: smearing the roof, clearing muck from the village and milking cows, especially if they're pregnant or have just given birth). Personally, I'm all for polyamory.
Probably the most fascinating thing we learned was the Nayar familial exception. No doubt others exist, but the lecturer probably chose this one because it was the most unusual, entertaining (yeah, most of us are stuck in our cultural paradigm) and extreme.
Anyhow: The Nayar are a tribe/group of castes who reside in the state of Kerala, India, along the Malabar Coast. In the past, the men trained as professional soldiers, and for much of the year they went off to fight wars on behalf of various warring factions, so most of the time they weren't around, which explains many peculiar characteristics of traditional Nayar society.
The Nayar are matrilineal (tracing descent through women), and not coincidentally, Nayar women are treated better than women in the rest of India. Instead of families, they had taravads (joint households), containing only people related by blood (ie no in-laws).
Before a young girl first menstruated (between the ages of 7-12), she was ritually married, with a tali (gold ornament) being tied around her neck. She and her ritual husband then spent 3 days together in a hut. However, the man she "married" rarely consummated their marriage (unless she was near puberty), and sometimes she never saw him again. After the ritual marriage, she was free to sleep with anyone she wanted - of an equal or higher caste - and Nayar women had 3-12 "visiting husbands" at any one time, but if she conceived, someone (anyone) had to acknowledge the child (though he did not bear the responsibilities traditionally ascribed to fathers); "This they did by providing a fee of a cloth and some vegetables to the low caste midwife who attended the woman in childbirth. If no man of suitable caste would consent to make this gift, it was assumed that the woman had had relations with a man of lower caste or with a Christian or a Muslim. She must then be either expelled from her lineage and caste or killed by her matrilineal kinsmen" (The Nayars and the Definition of Marriage, Gough, 1959). The children had no fathers - at least not in the conventional sense of the word.
Unfortunately (or otherwise, as the case might be) in the 1990s, thanks to the Immoral Winds Blowing From The West and rampant Cultural Imperialism, fewer than 5% of the Nayars practised this form of familial relations.
"The Nayar are fascinating to anthropologists because they're the radical exception to the human tendency to control the sex and love lives of most women, in practice, and of most men, in principle."
It just goes to show (once again) that little, if anything, is "natural". Besides which, just because something (engaging in acts of physical aggression towards your enemies) is "natural" does not make it right, and just because something (going to the doctor) is "unnatural" does not make it wrong.
Someone with a (PRC?) accent approached me while I was walking by the Dragonboat booth and asked me if I'd like to join. Wth. Do I look like the type?!
I've seen a not insignificant number of guys wearing the grey "Army" T-shirt. Maybe I should dig up my "Army Sucks. Big Time" singlet and wear it.
For her 21st birthday, a friend got a My Little Pony figurine and a Barbie Doll. Why is it socially acceptable for females to retain the trappings of their childhood for disproportionately long amounts of time?!
In late August, some people from Sginkjets.com set up a stall near the Arts Canteen and hawked 3rd party ink cartridges for various printers. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, they'd run out of ink for my Canon S200SPx (apparently quite an old model). They took down my name, and promised that they'd contact me. 2 weeks later, there's been no word from them, despite a reminder email that I sent out a week or so ago. I am immensely pissed off.
Even with a self-declared free day, I'm down to half a free day per fortnight. Boo hoo.
Quotes:
At higher levels, you will use mathematics to prove [this]. For now, just trust me. It is correct.
You can use your medit save (Medisave)
[On the Baby Bonus] Is it possible to un-DINK the person? (couple)
It's all hundreds dollar note (hundred dollar notes)
This is for flate (freight)
[On doing the hard paper topic] Courage is a philosophical virture]
[On doing the easy paper topic] Go and do it, finish it, and go and play video games, while your neighbour is sweating it out over the family
Impromptu questions. You answer questions that are not in the tutorial, you get M&Ms. It works.
I'm a bit old, so when I hear SMS, I lose concentration.
I really enjoy Economics. I think it's the best subject in the world. Obviously: I'm doing my PhD in economics
I have been tasked by Professor *** to enthuse you guys [about Economics].
[Student on Opportunity Cost: Why is it that you don't consider the amount the person has to pay for University fees?] Because it [this module] is EC1101E.
'Use the supply and demand model to explain what happens to the equilibrium price and equilibrium quantity for prata in the following cases.' You guys know what prata is?
[On the Nayar exception] They stay together for 3 days. During the 3 days, you can play masak masak [Literal translation: Play at cooking. More general translation: Play around], whatever.
[On the Nayar exception] She doesn't have to have sex with her husband. Come on, she's 7!
[On his 'wife'] Marry her - 14 years. See? A bit sian. (I've married her for)
PhD right? Permanent head damage. Tao pai liao. Tao pai liaon [Translation: The head is spoilt]
You cannot say: 'Aiyoh, nice breasts. Marry lah.' You cannot say that, unfortunately.
[On some bad joke about love birds] You tell that to the girl you're dating, you get a swollen forehead, or other parts. Girls these days are very powerful. Ok lah, stop that [making bad jokes]
I didn't know that, you know. Singapore men go for flirtatious women. In that case, I should have quite a good chance.
What's that about peeling prawns? I came back to Singapore and everyone was talking about peeling prawns for men... Maybe it's sexy.
[On arranged marriage] Children are stupid. You leave it to them, they come back with any Tom, Dick or Harry. [Realises one of the TAs is named 'Harry'] Cannot cannot! Handsome harry. [Her name], [her name].
I was walking, walking along Boat Quay. And she emerged. My Indian Goddess... She said she was vegetarian, good right? Cheap... She only want hydrophonic vegetables! (wanted)
I am quite free, nothing to do, get married lah. Quite cute. Koochee, koochee [tickles "wife"'s cheeks]
***, wherefore art thou? [Searching look] (where)
Should she marry me? [Everyone: Nooooo...] You all [are] so cruel. Mid-term test you all die already. (You all will die for the mid-term test)
[On his 'wife'] I treated her like a queen and like a fine wine, she aged with time. Unfortunately I don't like wine, I like grape juice.
[On polygyny] You're probably wondering about the sleeping arrangement. We're not into the whole orgy thing... Day 1, he goes to her, he doesn't get satisfied. Day 2, he goes to me, he gets really tired. Day 3, he goes to her [a third wife], to cool down.
Polygyny is the best form of marriage... Do you know that at one time, Lee Kuan yew wanted to make it legal in Singapore?
Time for some girl power. [Whoops from girls in audience] Let me tell you about the best form of marriage: polyandry.
[On how Singaporean men propose] 'Hey, honey, shall we go register for a HDB flat?' So romantic right.
[On bride price] Someone in the village wanted to marry me. Then they heard: PhD from Harvard. Oh my god, cannot afford... Me: PhD from Harvard. But once she opens her mouth, the price goes down. [You] Must be quiet [to fetch a high bride price].
You can't have sex with everybody and anybody right? That's a wild dream everybody has.
[On herself] When you get home, you complain. Call the provost. 'She said she was Harvard-trained. How boring. Get her out.' Thank god. [I'm going to] Yale.
GSSQ. Kimberly. [Me: Nobody knows me by those names] I will announce it later. [Me: Thank you]
[On passing last year's AGM minutes] Let's go through this and achieve Nirvana.
We have a soft lunch of Chatterbox (launch)
[On herself] The show is not over until the fat lady sings
[Lecturer: Who rules the state?] Lee Kuan Yew.
[ On my sociological observation of dancers] Please lah, the way you talk: like they're some species
Random Playlist Song: Schubert - Impromptu in B flat major
***
Picture of the Day
Observe the vacuous, wide-eyed look on the faces of the people on the shirt. They're either hypnotised or on drugs.
Someone: "zombie kids, i say. that blank, emotionless stare from their cold, unblinking eyes :)
**** is breeding zombies!!!
all with terribly cheena hairstyles. and scrawny arms. and they all seem to be locked in a position as if they want the wind to disperse the sweat from their left armpits"
***
CampBabe 2004
"Join the Search for CampBabe 2004
The event which enlivened camp sites and kept our soldiers delighted is back!
CampBabe 2004 is jointly organized by SAFRA Radio and MIW to bring more refreshing programmes and see more joyful faces in camps this year.
In addition, the young, talented and aspiring female contestants are also given an opportunity to pursue a dream career as a DJ with SAFRA Radio Dongli 88.3FM, not to mention winning $5,000 worth of cash and prizes."
And you thought NS Idol was bad enough! No doubt the soldiers were "delighted", though, given how desperate most NS guys are. Most of them are either ugly, ah lian, or (most commonly) both.
Question: What's worse than 1 shrill, anorexic, chinese-speaking ah lian?
Answer: 12 of them!
Friend: kept our soldiers delighted is back!
more joyful faces in camps
SOUNDS LIKE COMFORT WOMEN!!
Brother in law: "Is this what my tax dollars are going to? CampBabe 2004? I want to protest!"
***
"In a faraway town, there is a barber who only shaves men that do not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?"
There is an easy solution to Russel's Paradox in this case.
"The oldest profession is also the oldest pretext for outraged moralising and unrealistic lawmaking devised by man." - My favourite periodical
Great product of the day: Australian 'Red Rock Deli' brand 'Honey Soy' flavour potato chips. Cooked in Sunflower Oil, they have as big a crunch as the chips from Kettle, and their taste is simply sublime.
***
The NUS Forum Co-op stocks a lot of interesting magazines:
Mother and Baby (must be a lot of teenage pregnancies)
Dogs Life
Animals and You (A pets magazine for tweens, aimed at Screwed Up Girls no doubt)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch (for Screwed Up Girls who won't grow up)
Jughead's Double Digest (for guys who won't grow up)
Wine Spectator (to decide what to bring for drunken frat parties)
Guns and Ammo; Combat Handguns (in case someone gets so pissed off by the administration that they decide to do a Columbine)
Tattoos for Men; Tattoos for Women (so people can carve their exss names onto their arms)
Golf (for those in Law and Medicine)
Metal Maniacs (for Satanists)
Australian Linux Journal (PRC hackers)
International homes: for the best homes and lifestyles (to inspire people to study)
British railway modelling
Chai Wan Kon Astrology 2005 - welcoming the god of prosperity
Combat - the best in Martial Arts Coverage (Bullies)
For our last Sociology lecture, we were treated to something special. Not only did we have a "guest" lecturer (someone else from the department), but at some points the Tutorial Assistants snatched the mic from her, berated her for being boring, and launched into various skits on The Family and types of marriages; they covered monogamy (having one spouse but cheating on him/her), serial monogamy (having various spouses singly but in succession), polyandry and polygyny (which Masai women don't mind their husband practising because it means there are more people around to do the work: smearing the roof, clearing muck from the village and milking cows, especially if they're pregnant or have just given birth). Personally, I'm all for polyamory.
Probably the most fascinating thing we learned was the Nayar familial exception. No doubt others exist, but the lecturer probably chose this one because it was the most unusual, entertaining (yeah, most of us are stuck in our cultural paradigm) and extreme.
Anyhow: The Nayar are a tribe/group of castes who reside in the state of Kerala, India, along the Malabar Coast. In the past, the men trained as professional soldiers, and for much of the year they went off to fight wars on behalf of various warring factions, so most of the time they weren't around, which explains many peculiar characteristics of traditional Nayar society.
The Nayar are matrilineal (tracing descent through women), and not coincidentally, Nayar women are treated better than women in the rest of India. Instead of families, they had taravads (joint households), containing only people related by blood (ie no in-laws).
Before a young girl first menstruated (between the ages of 7-12), she was ritually married, with a tali (gold ornament) being tied around her neck. She and her ritual husband then spent 3 days together in a hut. However, the man she "married" rarely consummated their marriage (unless she was near puberty), and sometimes she never saw him again. After the ritual marriage, she was free to sleep with anyone she wanted - of an equal or higher caste - and Nayar women had 3-12 "visiting husbands" at any one time, but if she conceived, someone (anyone) had to acknowledge the child (though he did not bear the responsibilities traditionally ascribed to fathers); "This they did by providing a fee of a cloth and some vegetables to the low caste midwife who attended the woman in childbirth. If no man of suitable caste would consent to make this gift, it was assumed that the woman had had relations with a man of lower caste or with a Christian or a Muslim. She must then be either expelled from her lineage and caste or killed by her matrilineal kinsmen" (The Nayars and the Definition of Marriage, Gough, 1959). The children had no fathers - at least not in the conventional sense of the word.
Unfortunately (or otherwise, as the case might be) in the 1990s, thanks to the Immoral Winds Blowing From The West and rampant Cultural Imperialism, fewer than 5% of the Nayars practised this form of familial relations.
"The Nayar are fascinating to anthropologists because they're the radical exception to the human tendency to control the sex and love lives of most women, in practice, and of most men, in principle."
It just goes to show (once again) that little, if anything, is "natural". Besides which, just because something (engaging in acts of physical aggression towards your enemies) is "natural" does not make it right, and just because something (going to the doctor) is "unnatural" does not make it wrong.
Someone with a (PRC?) accent approached me while I was walking by the Dragonboat booth and asked me if I'd like to join. Wth. Do I look like the type?!
I've seen a not insignificant number of guys wearing the grey "Army" T-shirt. Maybe I should dig up my "Army Sucks. Big Time" singlet and wear it.
For her 21st birthday, a friend got a My Little Pony figurine and a Barbie Doll. Why is it socially acceptable for females to retain the trappings of their childhood for disproportionately long amounts of time?!
In late August, some people from Sginkjets.com set up a stall near the Arts Canteen and hawked 3rd party ink cartridges for various printers. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, they'd run out of ink for my Canon S200SPx (apparently quite an old model). They took down my name, and promised that they'd contact me. 2 weeks later, there's been no word from them, despite a reminder email that I sent out a week or so ago. I am immensely pissed off.
Even with a self-declared free day, I'm down to half a free day per fortnight. Boo hoo.
Quotes:
At higher levels, you will use mathematics to prove [this]. For now, just trust me. It is correct.
You can use your medit save (Medisave)
[On the Baby Bonus] Is it possible to un-DINK the person? (couple)
It's all hundreds dollar note (hundred dollar notes)
This is for flate (freight)
[On doing the hard paper topic] Courage is a philosophical virture]
[On doing the easy paper topic] Go and do it, finish it, and go and play video games, while your neighbour is sweating it out over the family
Impromptu questions. You answer questions that are not in the tutorial, you get M&Ms. It works.
I'm a bit old, so when I hear SMS, I lose concentration.
I really enjoy Economics. I think it's the best subject in the world. Obviously: I'm doing my PhD in economics
I have been tasked by Professor *** to enthuse you guys [about Economics].
[Student on Opportunity Cost: Why is it that you don't consider the amount the person has to pay for University fees?] Because it [this module] is EC1101E.
'Use the supply and demand model to explain what happens to the equilibrium price and equilibrium quantity for prata in the following cases.' You guys know what prata is?
[On the Nayar exception] They stay together for 3 days. During the 3 days, you can play masak masak [Literal translation: Play at cooking. More general translation: Play around], whatever.
[On the Nayar exception] She doesn't have to have sex with her husband. Come on, she's 7!
[On his 'wife'] Marry her - 14 years. See? A bit sian. (I've married her for)
PhD right? Permanent head damage. Tao pai liao. Tao pai liaon [Translation: The head is spoilt]
You cannot say: 'Aiyoh, nice breasts. Marry lah.' You cannot say that, unfortunately.
[On some bad joke about love birds] You tell that to the girl you're dating, you get a swollen forehead, or other parts. Girls these days are very powerful. Ok lah, stop that [making bad jokes]
I didn't know that, you know. Singapore men go for flirtatious women. In that case, I should have quite a good chance.
What's that about peeling prawns? I came back to Singapore and everyone was talking about peeling prawns for men... Maybe it's sexy.
[On arranged marriage] Children are stupid. You leave it to them, they come back with any Tom, Dick or Harry. [Realises one of the TAs is named 'Harry'] Cannot cannot! Handsome harry. [Her name], [her name].
I was walking, walking along Boat Quay. And she emerged. My Indian Goddess... She said she was vegetarian, good right? Cheap... She only want hydrophonic vegetables! (wanted)
I am quite free, nothing to do, get married lah. Quite cute. Koochee, koochee [tickles "wife"'s cheeks]
***, wherefore art thou? [Searching look] (where)
Should she marry me? [Everyone: Nooooo...] You all [are] so cruel. Mid-term test you all die already. (You all will die for the mid-term test)
[On his 'wife'] I treated her like a queen and like a fine wine, she aged with time. Unfortunately I don't like wine, I like grape juice.
[On polygyny] You're probably wondering about the sleeping arrangement. We're not into the whole orgy thing... Day 1, he goes to her, he doesn't get satisfied. Day 2, he goes to me, he gets really tired. Day 3, he goes to her [a third wife], to cool down.
Polygyny is the best form of marriage... Do you know that at one time, Lee Kuan yew wanted to make it legal in Singapore?
Time for some girl power. [Whoops from girls in audience] Let me tell you about the best form of marriage: polyandry.
[On how Singaporean men propose] 'Hey, honey, shall we go register for a HDB flat?' So romantic right.
[On bride price] Someone in the village wanted to marry me. Then they heard: PhD from Harvard. Oh my god, cannot afford... Me: PhD from Harvard. But once she opens her mouth, the price goes down. [You] Must be quiet [to fetch a high bride price].
You can't have sex with everybody and anybody right? That's a wild dream everybody has.
[On herself] When you get home, you complain. Call the provost. 'She said she was Harvard-trained. How boring. Get her out.' Thank god. [I'm going to] Yale.
GSSQ. Kimberly. [Me: Nobody knows me by those names] I will announce it later. [Me: Thank you]
[On passing last year's AGM minutes] Let's go through this and achieve Nirvana.
We have a soft lunch of Chatterbox (launch)
[On herself] The show is not over until the fat lady sings
[Lecturer: Who rules the state?] Lee Kuan Yew.
[ On my sociological observation of dancers] Please lah, the way you talk: like they're some species
Post ID: 109471873605326205
Quote of the Post: "I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. / But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me"- Psalms 131:1-2
***
Has anyone watched the malaysian film Princess of Gunung Ledang yet? Let me know if it's worth watching.
***
Has anyone watched the malaysian film Princess of Gunung Ledang yet? Let me know if it's worth watching.
Post ID: 109470175025142591
Quote of the Post: "Pay no attention to what the critics say... Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic!" - Jean Sibelius
Random Playlist Song: ACJC Choir - San Ge Mei Er San
I have no idea what this song is about, since I don't understand chinese.
***
Ugh. I fell asleep too early yesterday and now I have a massive sleep hangover.
***
"MSN Personal Address is now even better
All current MSN Personal Address customers will be automatically upgraded by the end of September to an improved MSN Personal Address subscription"
So much for July, then "this summer".
***
Hi Everyone!
Just wanted to get this important reminder out. To show support for our Presidential candidates, whomever they may be:
If you support the policies and character of John Kerry, please drive with your headlights on during the day on Friday.
If you support George W. Bush, please drive with your headlights off that night.
Thank you.
[JumboJoke]
***
Dr. Bob's Quiz Results - August 2004
Q1 - Why is the start of Tarkovsky's amazing film Solaris (1972) so long and boring?
A1 - Tarkovsky hoped that the Soviet censors would get fed up with having to watch it, nick out and skip the rest of the film where the deeper and more controversial statements were.
Q2 - The first book that Gutenberg printed was the Bible. What was the topic of the second book that he printed?
A2 - Come on now, what do you think .... Pornography! Gutty was broke and he thought this would make money.
Q3 - How many people mentioned in the Bible were known to be ambidextrous?
A3 Only 23 persons are actually named and stated to be ambidextrous - in 1 Chronicles 12:2. Take it away Ahiezer, Joash, Jeziel, Pelet, Berachah, Jehu, Ismaiah, Jeremiah, Jahaziel, Johanan, Josabad, Eluzai, Jerimoth, Bealiah, Shemariah, Shephatiah, Elkanah, Jesiah, Azareel, Joezer, Jashobeam, Joelah, and Zebadiah.
***
Tym returns to our (common) (communist) Alma Mater:
Neatly uniformed schoolchildren bobbed their heads in well-orchestrated greetings every time a someone walked by, resulting in a wave-like echo of "Good evening ma'am evening ma'am evening ma'am" wherever I passed.
This is all part of the school's drive to turn its students into "you3 yong4 de4 ren2", translated as: "useful people" - useful for what, it doesn't say. If I'm a good bank robber, I'm sure that is useful for some purposes.
Abruptly, my old Principal made an appearance, looking exactly as she did in 1986 when I saw her last, bouffant hairdo and all. I could say that she's well-preserved, I could say that she really knows how to take care of herself
I have a feeling she looked the same in 1978, when she first helmed the place, as in 1998, when she left.
The shrill Mandarin brought me right back to announcements at school assemblies.. The opening strains of the school song brought back not a jot of memory in me; either they've changed the song since my time or I've thoroughly suppressed any recollection thereof. I couldn't even understand half the song --- or, for that matter, half the announcements. Some things never change.
I think they use a different tape now. Luckily I still have a WAV of the old version. Well, not really. It's the one to which I made some... enahncements.
***
Refugee who became Dutch MP defies Islam with film about Koran
After describing the Prophet Mohammed as a pervert, Ayaan Hirsi Ali already needs round-the-clock protection from the Dutch security services.
Now the Muslim apostate and rising star of Dutch politics has pushed her luck even further with a film exhibiting verses of the Koran across the chest, stomach and thighs of an almost naked girl.
Mrs Hirsi Ali, who has risen from Somali asylum seeker to Dutch MP in 12 years, produced the film broadcast on Dutch television on Sunday night to highlight the continued oppression of Muslim women in Europe.
The 11-minute programme, Submission, depicts a young Muslim girl confronting Allah at prayer in a mosque. She wears the veil, covering most of the face, but her voluptuous body is clearly visible through a transparent gown.
"All praise to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds," begins the text painted across the actress's throat, which then scrolls down her bare chest. It is taken from the fatiha or opening of the Koran, the lines recited aloud by men, and silently by women, at Muslim prayer five times a day throughout the world.
Four other women act out scenes of torment and repression. One battered victim in a torn dress, exposes her shoulders and arms covered with lash wounds and the text of Verse 34, Chapter 4, The Women.
"Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made them excel and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient. Those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them," it says.
The broadcast was watched by 750,000 people, a large audience in a country of 16 million. An estimated one million are Muslims of Turkish or North African origin.
Mrs Hirsi Ali, 34, an MP for the free-market Liberals, has emerged as the unlikely heir of Pim Fortuyn, the homosexual firebrand who launched a mass movement to defend Holland's easy-going way of life against radical imams.
While shunning his party, she has pursued his message, denouncing the country's 30-year experiment with multiculturalism - including 700 Islamic clubs funded by the taxpayer - as a disastrous error born of "misplaced guilt".
Low-level fatwas - or death edicts - have been raining down since she attacked Islam as a medieval, misogynist cult incapable of self-criticism and blind to modern science.
Mrs Hirsi Ali said she chose the naked body formula to open up the opaque world of Islam and show that there is a human being behind the veil.
Steven Huismans, the director of Holland's Institute for Multicultural Development, said: "What she is doing is really provocative." Nabil Marouch, the head of the Dutch wing of the Arabic European League, said: "If the public keeps listening to Ayaan Hirsi, it will do great damage to integration."
But Mrs Hirsi Ali has become immensely popular among the ordinary Dutch, people who have been shocked by the sudden emergence of large Muslim enclaves in their cities - often with ties to militant anti-western groups. A parliamentary report this year found that more than 70 per cent of Dutch-born Muslims were bringing in spouses from their home countries, perpetuating a separatist sub-culture.
Mrs Hirsi Ali arrived in Holland as a penniless refugee in 1992 after sneaking across the German border to escape a forced marriage to a Somali kinsman. She did not speak a word of Dutch. Finding jobs as a cleaner, she went on to study political science at Leiden University.
Her ambition now is nothing less than a reformation of Islam.
***
Until death do us ... wed - "A South African man who shot his pregnant fiancee dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend... 'In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul,' said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. 'It is also important because the families are married together... This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down.'"
Norwegian motorist is slapped with parking ticket while stuck in traffic jam"
The school of second chances - "A President's Scholar who lost his award speaks out"
***
On Tuesday I decided to try out the engineering canteen, which everyone says sucks, for shits and giggles, and it was a veritable disaster.
To start off, I ordered a $2 plate of Hor Fun, and watched it being prepared Cookhouse Style - the noodles were fried separately, the ingredients were put on top, and sauce was spooned over it. The portion wasn't very big either; I shudder to think how small the $1.50 and $1.80 portions are. Though as a saving grace, it tasted alright.
When I left, I forgot to take with me the bag of junk that I had put at my feet: a bag containing wire, crocodile clips, 'D' size batteries, zinc and copper plates, 2 small metal pots and some other odds and ends. When, 20 minutes later, I realised that I had left it behind and rushed back, it was gone. I asked the uncle cleaning the tables and he told me that my "nu3 peng2 you3" (female friend/girlfriend - I assume the former unless I have a secret admirer. Or maybe it was just a breakdown in communication) took it.
I was thinking that no one would want all the junk in the bag, but then maybe engin students have a use for it. Alternatively, she just wanted the bag. It's a nice bag, decorated with pussies. Actually it's my sister's bag, and she almost certainly has forgotten of its existence. At least until she reads this paragraph.
Now all that's left to do is draw out more stuff, and hope that my Fairy Godmother flies in on Friday and returns the bag to me.
Morals of the Story:
1. Don't leave cute stuff where girls roam
2. Don't leave junk in the engineering canteen
3. Girls like pussies
Random Playlist Song: ACJC Choir - San Ge Mei Er San
I have no idea what this song is about, since I don't understand chinese.
***
Ugh. I fell asleep too early yesterday and now I have a massive sleep hangover.
***
"MSN Personal Address is now even better
All current MSN Personal Address customers will be automatically upgraded by the end of September to an improved MSN Personal Address subscription"
So much for July, then "this summer".
***
Hi Everyone!
Just wanted to get this important reminder out. To show support for our Presidential candidates, whomever they may be:
If you support the policies and character of John Kerry, please drive with your headlights on during the day on Friday.
If you support George W. Bush, please drive with your headlights off that night.
Thank you.
[JumboJoke]
***
Dr. Bob's Quiz Results - August 2004
Q1 - Why is the start of Tarkovsky's amazing film Solaris (1972) so long and boring?
A1 - Tarkovsky hoped that the Soviet censors would get fed up with having to watch it, nick out and skip the rest of the film where the deeper and more controversial statements were.
Q2 - The first book that Gutenberg printed was the Bible. What was the topic of the second book that he printed?
A2 - Come on now, what do you think .... Pornography! Gutty was broke and he thought this would make money.
Q3 - How many people mentioned in the Bible were known to be ambidextrous?
A3 Only 23 persons are actually named and stated to be ambidextrous - in 1 Chronicles 12:2. Take it away Ahiezer, Joash, Jeziel, Pelet, Berachah, Jehu, Ismaiah, Jeremiah, Jahaziel, Johanan, Josabad, Eluzai, Jerimoth, Bealiah, Shemariah, Shephatiah, Elkanah, Jesiah, Azareel, Joezer, Jashobeam, Joelah, and Zebadiah.
***
Tym returns to our (common) (communist) Alma Mater:
Neatly uniformed schoolchildren bobbed their heads in well-orchestrated greetings every time a someone walked by, resulting in a wave-like echo of "Good evening ma'am evening ma'am evening ma'am" wherever I passed.
This is all part of the school's drive to turn its students into "you3 yong4 de4 ren2", translated as: "useful people" - useful for what, it doesn't say. If I'm a good bank robber, I'm sure that is useful for some purposes.
Abruptly, my old Principal made an appearance, looking exactly as she did in 1986 when I saw her last, bouffant hairdo and all. I could say that she's well-preserved, I could say that she really knows how to take care of herself
I have a feeling she looked the same in 1978, when she first helmed the place, as in 1998, when she left.
The shrill Mandarin brought me right back to announcements at school assemblies.. The opening strains of the school song brought back not a jot of memory in me; either they've changed the song since my time or I've thoroughly suppressed any recollection thereof. I couldn't even understand half the song --- or, for that matter, half the announcements. Some things never change.
I think they use a different tape now. Luckily I still have a WAV of the old version. Well, not really. It's the one to which I made some... enahncements.
***
Refugee who became Dutch MP defies Islam with film about Koran
After describing the Prophet Mohammed as a pervert, Ayaan Hirsi Ali already needs round-the-clock protection from the Dutch security services.
Now the Muslim apostate and rising star of Dutch politics has pushed her luck even further with a film exhibiting verses of the Koran across the chest, stomach and thighs of an almost naked girl.
Mrs Hirsi Ali, who has risen from Somali asylum seeker to Dutch MP in 12 years, produced the film broadcast on Dutch television on Sunday night to highlight the continued oppression of Muslim women in Europe.
The 11-minute programme, Submission, depicts a young Muslim girl confronting Allah at prayer in a mosque. She wears the veil, covering most of the face, but her voluptuous body is clearly visible through a transparent gown.
"All praise to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds," begins the text painted across the actress's throat, which then scrolls down her bare chest. It is taken from the fatiha or opening of the Koran, the lines recited aloud by men, and silently by women, at Muslim prayer five times a day throughout the world.
Four other women act out scenes of torment and repression. One battered victim in a torn dress, exposes her shoulders and arms covered with lash wounds and the text of Verse 34, Chapter 4, The Women.
"Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made them excel and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient. Those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them," it says.
The broadcast was watched by 750,000 people, a large audience in a country of 16 million. An estimated one million are Muslims of Turkish or North African origin.
Mrs Hirsi Ali, 34, an MP for the free-market Liberals, has emerged as the unlikely heir of Pim Fortuyn, the homosexual firebrand who launched a mass movement to defend Holland's easy-going way of life against radical imams.
While shunning his party, she has pursued his message, denouncing the country's 30-year experiment with multiculturalism - including 700 Islamic clubs funded by the taxpayer - as a disastrous error born of "misplaced guilt".
Low-level fatwas - or death edicts - have been raining down since she attacked Islam as a medieval, misogynist cult incapable of self-criticism and blind to modern science.
Mrs Hirsi Ali said she chose the naked body formula to open up the opaque world of Islam and show that there is a human being behind the veil.
Steven Huismans, the director of Holland's Institute for Multicultural Development, said: "What she is doing is really provocative." Nabil Marouch, the head of the Dutch wing of the Arabic European League, said: "If the public keeps listening to Ayaan Hirsi, it will do great damage to integration."
But Mrs Hirsi Ali has become immensely popular among the ordinary Dutch, people who have been shocked by the sudden emergence of large Muslim enclaves in their cities - often with ties to militant anti-western groups. A parliamentary report this year found that more than 70 per cent of Dutch-born Muslims were bringing in spouses from their home countries, perpetuating a separatist sub-culture.
Mrs Hirsi Ali arrived in Holland as a penniless refugee in 1992 after sneaking across the German border to escape a forced marriage to a Somali kinsman. She did not speak a word of Dutch. Finding jobs as a cleaner, she went on to study political science at Leiden University.
Her ambition now is nothing less than a reformation of Islam.
***
Until death do us ... wed - "A South African man who shot his pregnant fiancee dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend... 'In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul,' said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. 'It is also important because the families are married together... This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down.'"
Norwegian motorist is slapped with parking ticket while stuck in traffic jam"
The school of second chances - "A President's Scholar who lost his award speaks out"
***
On Tuesday I decided to try out the engineering canteen, which everyone says sucks, for shits and giggles, and it was a veritable disaster.
To start off, I ordered a $2 plate of Hor Fun, and watched it being prepared Cookhouse Style - the noodles were fried separately, the ingredients were put on top, and sauce was spooned over it. The portion wasn't very big either; I shudder to think how small the $1.50 and $1.80 portions are. Though as a saving grace, it tasted alright.
When I left, I forgot to take with me the bag of junk that I had put at my feet: a bag containing wire, crocodile clips, 'D' size batteries, zinc and copper plates, 2 small metal pots and some other odds and ends. When, 20 minutes later, I realised that I had left it behind and rushed back, it was gone. I asked the uncle cleaning the tables and he told me that my "nu3 peng2 you3" (female friend/girlfriend - I assume the former unless I have a secret admirer. Or maybe it was just a breakdown in communication) took it.
I was thinking that no one would want all the junk in the bag, but then maybe engin students have a use for it. Alternatively, she just wanted the bag. It's a nice bag, decorated with pussies. Actually it's my sister's bag, and she almost certainly has forgotten of its existence. At least until she reads this paragraph.
Now all that's left to do is draw out more stuff, and hope that my Fairy Godmother flies in on Friday and returns the bag to me.
Morals of the Story:
1. Don't leave cute stuff where girls roam
2. Don't leave junk in the engineering canteen
3. Girls like pussies
Post ID: 109450978761585072
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