"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." - Bob Thaves

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Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders - "Greenpeace had hoped to paralyse oil trading at the exchange in the City near Tower Bridge on the day that the Kyoto Protocol came into force... Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan. “The violence was instant,” Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said. “They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.”... “They followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement.”"

AXED GALS TAKE POLE POSITIONS - "The economy's gone bust, and so have they. Scores of professional New York women stripped of their six-figure jobs are now working as "gentlemen's club entertainers" at upscale Manhattan jiggle joints. Former Wall Streeters, fashion executives and real-estate agents are pole dancing and stripping for as much as $1,500 a night -- but also because they like the flexible hours... "These places give men hope," Langdan said. "Even in the worst of times, for us it's the breast of times.""

Chinese Word List - CantoDict - "CantoDict v1.3.16 is a collaborative Chinese Dictionary project started in November 2003. Entries are added and mistakes corrected by a team of kind volunteers from around the world."

Bouncers face charges in beating of patron at Muskego bar - "The bouncers held his arms, kicked Hummer in the side and struck him in the face. The bouncers then picked up Hummer, already bloody and bruised, pushed him toward the door and then outside and to the ground. As he fell, Hummer's head struck a jagged stone pillar... The bartender told police he asked the bouncers to remove the men from the bar because Hummer refused to put a coaster under his beer, the report says."

The Straight Dope: Can playing the bongos make you piss blood? - "Music is a brutal business, James: String and keyboard players can suffer from focal dystonia. Saxophone and clarinet players develop disorders of the temporomandibular joint. At least one guitarist, Terry Balsamo of the metal act Evanescence, apparently gave himself a stroke by head-banging onstage. And hand drummers risk rhabdomyolysis, the disorder you refer to. Typically it's not blood they're seeing in their urine, though — it's muscle."

Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink - "• Newspaper to be available only on messaging service
• Experts say any story can be told in 140 characters
Currently, 17.8% of all Twitter traffic in the United Kingdom consists of status updates from Stephen Fry, whose reliably jolly tone, whether trapped in a lift or eating a scrumptious tart, has won him thousands of fans. A further 11% is made up of his 363,000 followers replying "@stephenfry LOL!", "@stephenfry EXACTLY the same thing happened to me", and "@stephenfry Meanwhile, I am making myself an omelette! Delicious!""

Paid to do it, but fails to make his friend’s wife pregnant after 72 Attempts - "When Traute failed to get pregnant after six months, however, Soupolos was not understanding and insisted that Maus have a medical examination, which he did. The doctor’s announcement that Maus was also sterile shocked everyone except his wife, who was forced to confess that Maus was not the real father of their two children."

Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center - "Languages are categorized from I (easiest) to IV (hardest), based on the difficulty native speakers of American English may have in learning a foreign language... Category I: English, French, Italian, Portuguese (Brazilian), Portuguese (European), and Spanish
Category II: German, Romanian (DLPT III)
Category III: Czech, Greek, Hebrew, Persian-Farsi, Polish, Russian, Serbian/Croatian, Tagalog, Thai, Turkish, Ukrainian, and Vietnamese
Category IV: Arabic, Chinese Mandarin, Japanese, and Korean"

"This is a joke, isn't it?" My Ex-Nazi Father's Reaction to Fox News - ""You mean this is an actual news show? Not satire?" My father obviously thought I was pulling his leg.
"No, it's not satire. Why are you asking?" I said.
"Because all you have to do is change a few adjectives, and it's Nazi talk.""

Akihabara Cafe: Miko-san Cafe - "In Akihabara, the Miko-san also have a new duty. To perform popular JPop songs, while serving you fruit juice and rice balls. The Miko-san Cafe has opened on Chuo Street, near Dragon Ice Cream for those of you actually in Japan. Their traditional Shrine attire has received a makeover… well really it was just raised like 2 feet turning it into almost a mini-skirt."
Damn Japs.

Five hurt as mop-wielding woman runs amok - "One report claimed she was laughing uncontrollably as she struck an elderly woman several times during her 30-minute spree."
This was posted on April Fool's but it seems genuine enough.

The Women's Movement - "Cooking a meal could only be "dogwork," and to claim any pleasure from it was evidence of craven acquiescence in one's own forced labor. Small children could only be odious mechanisms for the spilling and digesting of food, for robbing women of their "freedom." It was a long way from Simone de Beauvoir's grave and awesome recognition of woman's role as "the Other" to the notion that the first step in changing that role was Alix Kates Shulman's marriage contract ("wife strips beds, husband remakes them") reproduced in Ms; but it was toward just such trivialization that the women's movement seemed to be heading... This ubiquitous construct was everyone's victim but her own. She was persecuted even by her gynecologist, who made her beg in vain for contraceptives. She particularly needed contraceptives because she was raped on every date, raped by her husband, and raped finally on the abortionist's table... Increasingly it seemed that the aversion was to adult sexual life itself: how much cleaner to stay forever children... I suspect, that the women's movement is no longer a cause but a symptom."

Virgin Atlantic cabin crew ad 'is sexist and offensive to women', claim viewers - "Today the advertising watchdog dismissed complaints that the TV ad is sexist and offensive to women. The ASA has decided that there were no grounds for a formal investigation and said that it 'considered that the ad was unlikely to be seen as sexist or derogatory towards women or to cause serious or widespread offence.' The advert plays upon stereo types of advertising in the 1980s when Virgin Atlantic was first launched."