Quotes:

[Me on a literature essay: How much of this do you believe?] [Literature student:] I know the theory. I know how to apply it... 40%

[On literature] If you listen in class you will get why some things are more correct than others. [Me: Because the ideology is such.] Yeah, because the ideology is such

Are the two people outside dating? They're eating Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner.

[Me: I'm interviewing poor people] Why don't you interview us?... I don't live in a 1 room flat. [Student 2: PGP...] [Me on some biscuits: This is to 'bribe' them] Why don't you bribe us? [Me: What services can you perform for me?] [Student 2: This is where this conversation ends. Bye.]

I'm very disturbed... Every time I type the word 'feminine' or 'feminism' into Google Images, I get porn.

What sort of maths is there? [Me: Substitution.] Okay. Forget it. [Me: What sort of maths do you want? 1 + 1 = 2?] Something like that... Square. Square root. What I can do with a calculator.

I'm writing too much like an Arts student... I can't say 'I believe'. Science students say 'I agree'. [Me: You can't say 'I'm sympathetic to Darwin's notion that...'

[On a KIA breaking down on the middle of the Penang bridge] The fan belt blew up. There was no warning. Kinda like an Acer computer.

[Instructor: Can you explain his observation?] I'm not very sure. [Instructor: If you're not very sure, then stop there.] I'm very sure.

A lot of the accidental discoveries are made by people who are messy in laboratories and drop stuff.

I'm supposed to give a lecture on electricity and magnetism today, but I'm not feeling very well so I'll let YouTube lecture you.

[Student: Gabriel is enjoying all the attention he's getting.] Let me give you more attention. [Me: What sort of attention do you want to give me?] This conversation stops now. [Me: This is a very good way of getting less attention.]

Our first victims - I mean our first presentations.

[On feeling my breast implant prop] Ooh.

[Me: Your underwear is showing] You know what this shows? I'm not not wearing underwear.

[Female student:] A breast in hand is worth- [Me: 2 in?] A padded bra. [Me: When you take them off you don't have breasts anymore.] [Student 2: By the time they take them off they don't need the breasts.]

[On Free Will] Some people think there's some spark, some *sings* Uh uh... It turns out if you look hard for it you can't find it at all, but some people still think it's there... It's not affected by events in the spatial-temporal structure, it's not affected by genetic factors.

If we have lighters, why do we still have matches? [Student: My parents are matchbox collectors.] So it's just for matchbox collectors?

[On the test] Don't feel too sad if you want to cry - some people say crying is therapeutic. Find a group, go into some corner and have a good cry.

[On an exam question asking for a formulation of an exam question] I like to set such questions because when I run out of ideas for questions, I will let you ask the questions... to show you how hard it is to set exam questions. You must be very precise.

I won't be testing you on this again... If you learn it, good. If you didn't learn it, then you'll read about it during the holidays if you need to know it.

[On post-WW2 conventions] They were not saying 'let's stop fighting'. It was 'next time we fight, how can we safeguard these things?'

Whenever I encounter a major convention that does good things, Singapore never is on it... I'm not sure if it's an isolationist policy... Or if they want to keep these all open... Even safe ones the rest of the world has signed up for... Why're these against Singaporean interests?

[On Mostar's Croats and Bosnians] When they weren't fighting the Serbs they were fighting each other.

I was asked to go to Iraq in 2004 as part of a team... I was like 'I don't want to go, they're cutting people's heads off there'

[On the US bombing Kosovo] It was weird... Because my country was bombing his country... But we were cool about it... It was weird, because they were hoping for 1 building to be bombed... It was the building where they kept everyone's National Service records... 'Was the building hit?' Everyday they checked.

[On the Economics honours room] It's better. In the past when you come in the first question will be 'what's your CAP?' (would)

[On relationship dynamics] The girl is quite meek. So he has a dominant strategy over her... He's a MCP.

Any questions?... This will give me a chance to elaborate. *silence* Let me elaborate anyway.

Can you see, at the back?... A lot of Singaporeans kids are myopic... Because of whiteboards... In other countries they use blackboards. Less myopic. Go and sue the Ministry, those of you with myopia. Don't mention my name, I'll lose my job.

I also asked you because you were sleeping. [Student: I wasn't. I was paying attention.] You were meditating. That's what I used to tell my teacher in school. 'I was meditating'.

The lecture notes, I haven't updated [them] for 2 years now. I'm not gonna update it. At first I kept updating it. I got bored. (them)

[On static electricity] The biggest entertainment in those days... You take dead bodies... You take a spark. You attach [a wire] to the 2 legs, the arms will move... That was high entertainment in those days.

Once I was giving a lecture... One student said: 'When I was in secondary school I broke a magnet. There was only a north pole. I checked it.' I asked him to bring it to school but he couldn't find it. He missed a Nobel Prize. So go see if you have any north poles lying in your drawers at home.

[On electrostatics] It's not the pen or anything. *audience laughs* It sounds silly but that's what you do in real scientific experiments. You have to have controlled experiments - make sure it's not due to some silly thins like ghosts, or something.

[On alternating current] Only for some applications, like your CD player, so it only spins your CD in one direction.

Some of the worst students get the best grades. [Student: Some of the best students get the worst grades too.]

[On admin matters] If you really think there's a problem, do let us know. I can keep a secret, you know.

This year Arts is a very popular course. it's now the biggest faculty in NUS by far, bigger than Engineering. The government is not happy, but who cares?