A recent conversation with a slightly bizarre mix of prudishness and perversion:

me says: so what are you doing for the weekend?

friend says: I dont know yet
my friend says she wants to do something
but we'll see how it goes

me says: which friend?

friend says: the one that i'm sleeping with

me says: i hope that's not how you describe all your friends
isn't it obvious what she wants to do?
why waste time?

friend says: you realise we're still friends yeah
not just people who know each other and fuck

me says: that i didn't know actually

friend says: i thought I told u that ?
it is called friends with benefits

me says: well, i thought the relationship was more about the benefits rather than the friends
part

friend says: both la
I need a friend too

me says: i have enough friends and not enough free sex
so i'm in a slightly different position from you

friend says: u do ?

me says: i also want to find this sort of friend leh
please tell me where to find this sort of friend
i need more friends like this

friend says: if i knew i would have a few

me says: some people have all the luck
most people don't even have any

friend says: u have a soulmate
all i have is a fuck buddy

me says: i have a non-homosexual life partner called Gabriel

friend says: u consider gabriel your soul mate ?

me says: not exactly, but he fills in a lot of a soul mate's traditional roles
i suppose i could consider him a proxy soulmate without the sex, children, romantic
dinners - hell, we might even end up in the same household if the League works out

friend says: so if gabriel was a woman .......
would u ........

me says: ER. not if he was as ugly as a woman as he is a man
it's like saying would i fuck someone with your personality/compatibility if she was a
woman lah

friend says: i just chose to put it in those terms
so would u ?
u did say you could objectively say that he has nice tits

me says: okay put it this way, would you fuck a hot girl with my personality/attitude?

friend says: you havent answered my question

me says: well, if gabriel were to magically become a woman who looks like he currently does,
of course not lah
the thing is, if the qualities you like in a friend happen to be in a woman, would
you still fuck her?

friend says: lets put it this way la
i think you and I would fuck a woman who is hot. period

me says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. point.
so if gabriel was a hot woman YOU would fuck him/her too

friend says: if i knew it was gabriel
frankly speaking
that's enough to turn me off

me says: but it WOULDN'T be gabriel lah, that's the point
okay, so there's a difference between your male friend becoming a woman and a woman who has the same qualities as your male friend

friend says: the latter is fine of course

me says: of course

friend says: sooo ....
if it was the former

me says: OF COURSE NOT. because the identity as the male friend is already ingrained into my head

friend says: lets say gabriel magically became a really hot chick 10/10
and he starts to seduce u

me says: no.
i don't do trannies
at least those i KNOW are trannies
it's like the old saw lah.. you wake up and find out your bed partner has a dick
put it this way, if you didn't know this hot 10/10 woman USED to be a guy you know
you might just end up liking that person because that woman has qualities of your guy
friend you enjoyed
and then... next morning... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

friend says: so if you became that 10/10 woman, would u hang out with us and conceal your
identity ?

me says: ...... if i could become a 10/10 woman, why would i want to pick up losers like you?

friend says: hang out as friends ?

me says: well, would you be comfortable hanging out with a friend who is a woman.. but USED to be a man?

friend says: if i knew it was u, trust me, I would have absolutely no desire for this 10/10
woman

me says: i think most of us would feel the same
i mean, hypothetically, you could get a blowjob from a trannie and NEVER KNOW
and still enjoy yourself
but once you know... you can never go back. "in much knowledge is there much
suffering"
it's like fucking your sister lah, only worse
at least your sister STARTED out female

friend says: difference is you wouldnt exactly be a tranny
this is a magical transformation

me says: so is a tranny, in many respects

friend says: well .....
if it was ordained by god ....

me says: the Lord is cruel and malicious, but even He has His limits

friend says: this is a hypothetical

me says: well honestly, to me, no matter how magical or zhai the transformation, if the person
was BORN a guy, no matter what process makes him female... to me it's a tranny

friend says: so would u date a friend's relative ?

me says: it is interesting how these kinds of moral biases stick to us somehow
dude, next to fucking a tranny who used to be your friend, dating a friend's relative
like wholesome momma's apple pie. besides in Singapore everyone's either a friend's relative
or a relative's friend

friend says: well anyway would u?

me says: of course, why not?

friend says: i mean, if it goes awry, wouldnt it be ....
u know ?

me says: i'd be a bit more careful, yes
generally the answer is no, but it really depends on the girl, i agree there are more
complications/obstacles
but i view it in the same light as her having a bf - it's just one extra challenge as
opposed to an insuperable obstacle

friend says: and what if it's a really good friend ?

me says: even more extra challenge then
btw why do you think that knowing makes it different?
as in if your male friend became a hot girl magically AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW you might end up fucking her
but once you know.. you wouldn't?
or similarly why you would get a blowjob from a hot trannie IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
i assume for you if a friend became a hot girl you would never, under any
circumstances, fuck her once you knew

friend says: yes
u can safely assume so
and same goes for u ?

me says: definitely
but still it's interesting why the knowing makes the diff
don't you think?
i mean, if your friend became a hot girl, and NEVER told you
you might even end up having a happy, productive relationship

friend says: simple
same reason as to why you would never find your sister attractive

me says: i can understand why biologically there's a reason for incest not to work
and that we can be repulsed by it
it makes SENSE for us to be sickened by incest (the genetic perspective)

friend says: but it doesnt make sense to be repulsed by fucking a male friend ?

me says: we're talking about fucking a male friend who's now female
for all intents and purposes it's heterosexual
magically female at that

friend says: the mind just cant get pass that
but im surprised someone like u can't=)

me says: har har


[Edited for formatting and code and quotational redundancy - Gabriel]