Naturally this was removed by a moderator. But the valuable insights in the comments (including from Indians) remain, even if some have been deleted by mods:
AITAH for not allowing my daughter to travel to India? : r/AITAH
"Indian woman here! Growing up with men constantly leering at you or molesting you, it’s definitely not safe. I’m sure she’ll be able to take care of herself but it’s genuinely not worth it! You should watch Angry Indian Goddesses with her. Beautiful movie, based in Goa, has a message she needs to see. Indian men are absolutely intolerable to be around, they won’t give you a moment to breathe 😭😭"
"Indian guy here, I'd strongly urge you to stomp your foot down and say no to her. Traveling to India as a white female without any males, that too at the age of 19 is a very bad idea. Goa isn't that safe either. One has to do quite a bit of research before coming to India & also have that wit and presence of mind, which your 19 year old daughter surely lacks. Better to be safe than sorry."
"I saw a comment last week on a different post about how a friend had admitted that her and her friend had been raped on two separate occasions on their trip in India. People had warned them not to go but they didn't listen. It is just a simple fact that it is not a safe country for women, especially white foreigners. Do not relent on this one."
"if you search for rape cases involving foreign women in Goa, there are a staggering number of articles from over the years."
"SIL was assaulted in Goa while jogging. Don’t let her go"
"I absolutely agree with you. I'm a white woman who was married to an
Indian man. When we went i was always swarmed by men the second my
ex-husband left my side it was terrible honestly. Unless her father goes
with her i would probably not allow her to go either. The problem is
that no doesn't mean no there and women are not held in high esteem. My
in-laws absolutely believed that white women were easy and they were
looked upon as sluts, unfortunately. I may get downvoted for this but
this is what I was told."
"What your in laws believe is a very common association even now and even
among the youth. In dharamsala I met a half french half african (I
don't remember which french colony) woman who struck up a friendship
with her Airbnb hosts son, who took it as a sign of she wants to sleep w
me (yay), and his mother the host took it as a sign of this foreigner
wants to ruin my son and suddenly kicked her out and this girl had
nowhere to go in the middle of the night. It's wild to me because even
that excuse of Western porn can't apply anymore but it's all within that
fetishisation of whiteness. Justice is also very hard for foreigners
when our system is so slow and requires them to spend personal funds to
return for multiple court dates. I'm very sorry about your experiences,
hope you've managed to have a better visit."
"I'm an Indian man and I'd say no to this as well. India is not a place of spirituality like people think it is. I had the chance to travel around India and...it's just men. It's just groups of men roaming around."
"I can't speak to the safety of Goa, but my gf grew up in Delhi, where
these days if you're a lone woman driving late at night and the police
try and pull you over, you officially don't have to stop - because there
have been so many incidents of women being raped by the police"
"there are horrific stories of women being attacked and getting sent to
the hospital, only to have doctors and staff alike continue the abuse.
It’s literally the rape capitol of the world…"
"dude, a Korean travel youtuber said the SAME exact thing your daughter said. All her friends and family were like " yeah don't go, it's very unsafe " and she just brushed it off and said she's going to have a fun week in India.
Second she landed she just kept getting stared at, followed, and talked to. I think she gave a few hugs that lingered a little to long. Guys just walking up to her asking for selfies. At one point she got hit by a moped and the police actually responded by forcing the moped driver to take her to the hospital. Just the constant vigilance and guys walking up asking for s3x and grabbing at her was just too exhausting for her. So she took the next flight out of the country and was just crying as she left.
Oh yeah she would have to run into hotel lobbies and ask the staff to tell the men following her to leave her alone.
Plenty of stories of lone female travelers who STUDY the culture and speak the language getting harassed and assaulted. Even local women who travel randomly get assaulted."
"Compared to other places it's safer. But it's like saying rat poison is safer than cyanide. At the end of the day, both are poisonous.
I'm from South of India and my friends have done solo trips to goa, but they were ogled at, catcalled and approached by random strangers. But nothing bad happened.
I had travelled in mixed groups, but never saw any issues with the females in our group. Guess people leave mixed groups alone"
"Goa is one of the relatively safer places but keyword being relatively.
I was born and raised in India and I wouldn't recommend going there to anyone (white or not, male or female). I have friends and family there and go back once in a while but even then bringing a friend back there isn't something I would do.
Tell her to pick another beach location, there's a billion places much better than Goa and safer."
"Goa is I think geared a bit more for tourists.
Hand on heart I would not allow my young adult child whatever their sex to go to India.
I hate saying it, I have family in India. And it’s not a safe place, especially for women.
And you’ve got to bribe everyone to function.
And if god forbid anything happened, where would your daughter even think of beginning to get help from? Where would you?
If she honestly had wealthy friends with family there it would be fine. But not as two female white western tourists. Teen bravado will not get her far there."
"I am indian (grew up there). Yes, goa is safer than most of India. No, Goa is not safe. It's known for parties and foreigners so while there is a lot of tourists, there are also creepy men who are there specifically to sleep with foreigners. I would also not let her go to India at 19.
It is a difficult stance to take but I absolutely think it's the right one. She can go when she's older and more well travelled.
My friend (white American man who is 6ft tall) had some terrifying experiences while in India. Not in Goa, but enough that he won't go back without a guide he trusts."
"Goa isn't proper south though. Lots of tourists from all over India. And most men think White women are characterless and therefore fair game. I'm Indian and believe me, I went to Goa as a ninth grader with family. The stares I got even as a child is kind of disturbing.
South Indian states like Kerala and Tamilnadu are considered quite safer than the Northern States."
"I just recently came back from India had to go there due to work. I am "kinda white" petite and young looking. Honestly I plan on never coming back not even if my work says it is mandatory. I was in danger at least 6 times. I highly suggest not to let your daughter go.
Show her videos or testimonials so she can see that it is for her safety."
"Indian woman here. I have a 17 yo niece and there's no way she's going to Goa until she's 25 and has a massive group of friends that I've personally vetted.
Controlling makes sense if she wants to go to countries THAT HAVE LAWS AND CULTURES THAT PROTECT THEIR WOMEN.
Forget about who's paying, it's India. Unless the host family can assign bodyguards, NO.
I hope OP sticks to their guns. His daughter can be big mad now but one day she will thank him for standing his ground."
"Hi, so I’m an Indian girl and i moved to the UK when I was younger and I’m in South India currently - I would not recommend for your daughter to come here at all because even though the south is considered safer it’s not as safe as she might be thinking. Goa is also known as the party place which in itself is fine but definitely not safe especially if it’s two young girls travelling alone
(For context: when visiting extending family they never let us travel alone even in a taxi, without a male relative)"
"I wouldn’t let her. My mom is very high up in the tech world and it’s one of the only countries that they give her a full time security teams when she goes.
She also spends a lot of time in Columbia and they don’t do that. I actually can’t think of another country she currently goes to that they do this."
"Im from New Zealand, I'm white and I went to India in 2016 with my sister who is also white. We went to attend an Indian friend of her's wedding. I was 19 at the time and she was 21.
I made sure to be with her 24/7 when we were in public but bad things still happened. On one of our final days there we were going to walk from the place we were staying to the home of her friends family which was about a 10 minute walk. I was still putting on my shoes and she was waiting impatiently before deciding that she would just leave start and I could catch up. So she left a few minutes before me.
This was the only single time I was not with her in public.
I didn't catch up to her, I couldn't find her on the streets to the friends house so I show up there and there is a crowd of people in one of the bedrooms and I hear hysteric crying.
Turns out that while she was walking to the house, some men had approached her and asked her for sex. She said no and they began to chase her and were joined by other men in a van. She sprinted to the house where they zoomed after her and even chased her inside the property and tried to smash down the front door. Fortunately in many Indian homes there is the front door but behind it normally there is a second large steel gate that is much stronger and while they got through the front door the gate was locked and they didn't get past. The house was also filled with people for the wedding and so heaps of the men chased these guys off the property but they just got into their van and left.
This was not the only incident. I went with her to go to dress fittings, but obviously as her brother didn't want to be in the changing room with her, but I had to be because at the first dress fitting she was groped and 'touched' by the man doing the fitting.
In Jaipur we also had men try to break into our hotel room one night.
I would not recommend travelling to India under any circumstances if you area woman."
"This might work for a white male but would never work for a female (even if she's indian) it's the men who are the problem, no matter where you travel across India. But as a man, I don't expect you to get it, unfortunately.
Edit: enriching experience be damned, safety comes first. I'm saying that as an Indian female btw.
Edit #2: In a good country no one has to be that street smart and cautious 24x7. People travel to enjoy and relax not be on their fucking guard 24x7. Seeing her daughter is white and 19, India shouldn't even be considered as a tourist spot. Maybe, if the father was travelling with her, but definitely not with another female friend. The OP is not a racist, most people calling him so in the comments are just blind to see the problems with their own country. The latter should pick a newspaper once in a while.
A simple search will tell you the truth, and these are just the reported cases, there is not even a concrete number for the numerous harassments and cat calls on a daily basis. Not to mention, the cases which go unreported because alas, it's the women's fault if she gets raped in India as she will be blamed constantly one way or the other."
"I’m an Indian who was born and raised in a Western country. I come off as Arab, Turkish, Malay, or even White due to my extremely pale complexion and ethnically-ambiguous features. I cover up from head to toe but every time I visit India with my family, it doesn’t stop the stares.
Actually, the men on the streets there stare at any women who pass by. Old, young, literal baby. They don’t discriminate- but it’s 1000000X WORSE when you have fair skin, as an Indian I can say that the people there obsess over it. Men will flock to you unsolicited and ask for photos or hit on you- you can even see this gross behaviour on vlogs where female YouTubers are visiting India.
When I was 14, I got my hair pulled “flirtingly” by a group of men behind me at a random street, this was with my entire family at my side btw.
When I visited this year, a random girl came up to me in broken English and asked me for my number, saying she wants to be friends. I gave her a fake number because I didn’t trust her, she didn’t know that I spoke the language or even assumed I was Indian and had been saying some very odd things in my language under her breath, all of which I understood.
Immediately after giving a fake number, I saw her walk over to this creepy group of guys at a far distance and hand the paper over to them. My mum’s best friend got raped when she was a teenager. I’ve been harassed more times than I can count, leaving me feeling extremely disgusted even now. My little sister almost got kidnapped when she was 2. It’s an extremely scary place there- and no it doesn’t matter what area your daughter travels to. I’ve travelled to all parts of India and they’re all extremely unsafe with men varying in levels of danger. Some take photos, some cat call, some outright harass and some rape.
Keep her out of that country at all costs."
