"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it." - Mark Twain
***
Second Jakarta trip with my Secret Indonesian Lover
As per the previous time, in the past year I had to make a trip to Jakarta again.
Some SIA stewardesses have so much eyeshadow they look like pandas.
Honouring ASEAN on the immigration form
"Welcome to Indonesia. Death Penalty for Drug Traffickers!"
I felt very welcome
"Storms make Oaks take deeper root"
Their being majority owned by Rabobank didn't hurt, presumably
In this land of crooks, the attempt at swindling me started at the airport taxi tried to cheat me. I was told the fare would be 100-150,000 rupiah, but was quoted 200,000 at the counter. I looked shocked and they lowered the quotation to 180,000. I went to the adjacent booth and they quoted me 170,000 (all the quotes were on paper, of course, to prevent open competition). I was annoyed and just took it - and later asked my lover to pick up the tab. I was then ushered into an unmarked taxi. If I disappeared, at least I had written my name on the receipt (for what it was worth); the driver was very chatty, so at the end I tipped him 10,000 for not kidnapping me.
Along the way I saw a promotion for a book: "Single, Sex and Survival". Unfortunately the title seems to be the only thing about it in English (available online, at any rate).
Indonesia Boleh!
It seems Singapore is one of the few places without "100% Halal" signs.
One of the few good things about Indonesia is A&W. This cost me 47,700 Rupiah. The soup (5,000 RP - listed on the menu as "5", the zeros being taken for granted) was, err, corn, tomato and chicken soup, which was very strange. The onion rings were also free with "paket kentang" (to compensate for the exorbitant price, one wagers).
The chicken was dry and too salty. Given that I'd had Popeye's the same day, the contrast was especially pronounced.
Ayam Sensasi, which looked supicious
"Get the Good News today"
At first I thought this was a Christian thing, but it was more literally "news" (I saw what was displayed before they removed it)
Due to the... activities I was partaking in, I was still hungry after A&W. I didn't have enough for satay (because I got fleeced off for the taxi) so I settled for 9k RP worth of Nasi Goreng (cheap street food: another of the few good things about Indonesia). It came with free keropok, whose kualit was... okay.
There was also 2.5k RP pisang goreng, which works out to about 7 Singapore cents per piece.
My Teh Botol float didn't quite work. Jasmine tea doesn't work so well with ice cream.
Smoke-free Jakarta. Yeah right.
"Pasaraya: The Pride of Indonesia"
NTUC should brand itself "The Pride of Singapore"
This Jollibee had closed down (the sign was all that was left). Which was a pity, given that I've heard good things about it.
"Advance. Miracle doctor. Antioxidant Water Maker"
Indonesian snake oil.
"Pretty Branded Underwear" - o_0
"Produk Import". I was tempted by the Ma Ling.
Apparently Swiss Miss Marshmallows are Mengandung Babi ("Contains Pork", I assume). That's disgusting.
2 whole aisles of Instant Noodles in Carrefour. They really like their instant noodles.
I had been tasked to look for Nonya Siok Keropok, but even Carrefour did not have it - probably beause it was too expensive. In the end, all I bought was Mie Goreng Sedap (since someone had been raving about it; Indomie is better)
Dodgy weight loss ad
Even dodgier massage parlour with "Romantic Massage" (okay, actually I'm cheating - there was an A before the R, which was hidden by the angle of this picture)
Walking around the shopping centre, I did find the keropok. The previous time it had been an exorbitant 63,000 RP per packet. Here it was a spine-chilling 70,000. I knew I was being fleeced, but just bought it anyway (it helped that it wasn't for me)
You will notice it has Dutch on it - in addition to Bahasa, English and Mandarin. How International.
Very long and very cheap (for a shopping centre) menu
Toilet sign, for a toilet for kids
Their idea of Chinese food, with "Nasi Goreng Modern", "Hotplate Sapi Lada Hitam", "Beef Canton" etc. I had no idea what the difference between Mee Goreng Spesial Mee Goreng Istimewa was. Perhaps "Spesial" was more special since it was in pseudo-English.
Their idea of an amusement park (okay, this was more like a public park, but it still looked miserable)
Street with some pirated DVD stalls. I was thinking of asking for Miyabi DVDs, but I didn't want the Vice Squad to come at me!
Notice the Nipple Sticker FAIL. Haram!
These were 3 for 2,000. They didn't cheat me!
"Kejaksaan Agung RI"
Information on this online is only in Bahasa.
Road crossing to nowhere (see where the zebra lines end)
Airport shower: "45 minutes. Just 150,000 Nett"
A Root Beer Float a day... Mmm. It's All American Food, plentiful Nasi notwithstanding.
A&W Emblazoned Napkin
This was very miserable, with 1 piece of chicken strip only. I had to wait for my curly fries, but they were fresh! I conclude that the only [potentially] good dishes in A&W Indonesia are the Float and the Curly Fries.
"Stealth Fries", whatever they are.
I saw a sign "Kaya Vitamin C". I realised "Kaya" meant "rich". What an interesting name for a spread.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
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